Inescapable Passion
by Jojoboo90
Summary: After both having chosen to stay in Abnegation, Beatrice and Tobias are trapped in an arranged marriage forced by Marcus Eaton. Will their wedding vows and Abnegation values ultimately bind them together? Or will the stifled Dauntless in them drive them both to madness? And what will happen when Tragedy strikes? *Four/Tris* Followed by the sequel "Unbreakable Passion". (COMPLETE)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey guys! I'm back with a whole new story :) I know I said "a few weeks" like six months ago, but… who's counting? Lol anyways… I really hope you enjoy this FourTris fic brought to you by myself and my lovely Beta Reader BAMBERLEE! If you stick with it, it'll be a great ride, I promise :) And so it begins…**

* * *

 **Chapter 1**

 **TRIS**

Things have been quiet in the house since last week, since my choosing day. With Caleb gone my parents don't seem to want to talk about much of anything. His transfer to Erudite took us all by surprise. He was always so good at being selfless, and so ready to chastise me when I wasn't. His acting was so flawless that at first I thought this could not possibly be real; it was all just a dream. But night after night the sound of my mother's stifled crying and the whispered solaces of my father remind me that it's not.

They mourn him as if he were dead, but I guess as far as factional law is concerned, he might as well be.

I do miss him. But more than anything I feel betrayed by him. And though I'd never say it out loud I'm angry that he chose first, because when he made his choice, he made mine. I couldn't leave. I wanted to leave but I couldn't. My hand dangled over the coals but only for a second, only until I thought of my parents. They wouldn't have survived losing us both. And as selfish as I may be, I'd never want to be the one to cause them pain.

I guess that's all that's been keeping me together since I've been back. Because I'm not selfless, and trying to feign selflessness day in and day out usually takes its toll on me. But waking early every morning to make breakfast before I head out for community service only to return every afternoon to make supper and clear the dishes doesn't feel forced or unnatural. I guess because even though I chose Abnegation, I didn't really choose to be selfless. I chose my family. I chose to be the glue that will keep my parents together until they're strong again.

Grabbing my grey robe from the edge of my bed, I decide that it's probably time to go make supper before my mother beats me to the kitchen. I'd rather not go through the usual charade of her protesting and me insisting.

Quietly closing my room door behind me, I begin to make my way to the kitchen. But as I walk through the small hallway and get closer to the stairs, the commotion in the living room catches my attention. I hear my parents' voices and then another, a man's. I shouldn't interfere, but the tone of their voices makes it impossible not to. Something is definitely wrong.

Stealthily, I stoop by the edge of the stairs, just outside their line of sight and that's when I hear an unmistakable voice say, "No! We had a deal, Andrew."

 _What's Marcus doing here?_ , I think.

"I understand that," my father says. "But Beatrice seems to have some interest in the Black boy. Robert."

 _No I don't_ , I mentally scowl. And why are they talking about me in the first place?

"And after everything that has happened with Caleb," my father continues, and I hear a trace of sadness in his voice as he mentions my brother's name, "I feel like I owe it to their family. He gave them the impression that he would court their daughter, Susan, and apparently now she's heartbroken. They all thought that it would end in marriage. Her mother says she hasn't eaten since the Ceremony."

Marcus scoffs. "That young girl's puppy love is not my concern, Andrew. And giving Beatrice to their son would certainly not make things right. Besides, your son's transfer is a direct result of your own incompetence as parents. I will not suffer for it. You _will_ do as you have promised. Don't forget that I have the power to take away everything that I have given you."

Marcus' voice is threateningly low and though I can't see his face I can hear the poison in his expression. My mouth falls open and I become more than a little confused and offended all at once. Why did the leader of Abnegation make it his business to come into our home and threaten and insult my parents? Intimidating others doesn't really classify as good Abnegation behaviour, quite the opposite actually. Marcus, of all people, should know that.

My mother begins to whisper what sounds like a plea and I lean forward in order to hear her better. But my feet slip and suddenly the room is filled with the sound of my hands slamming against the wooden floor as I try to break my fall.

"Beatrice?" I hear my father say, and I know that it would be stupid of me to remain hidden when my presence here is no longer a secret. I push myself off the floor and with an embarrassed smile I walk down the stairs.

"I was just coming down to make supper when I missed a step," I innocently explain. "I didn't know that we had a guest. Good evening, Marcus. Will you be joining us for our evening meal?"

Normally it would be wrong of me to be so forward. But I test it out, seeing that I'm now a member of Abnegation; an adult.

"No, Beatrice. But thank you for the offer," he says kindly. His tone is so different from just now, when he was threatening my parents.

And as is required, I insist, "You must. It would be a pleasure to have you."

I arrive at the bottom of the stairs, only a few feet from where they are all standing. I wear my fake Abnegation smile and Marcus wears his.

"Maybe another time," he says. "I believe you have some family matters to discuss." He looks at my parents. "Besides, I have some matters of my own I must attend to. And thank you for the tea, Natalie. It was lovely as always."

Gracefully, my mother nods and my father escorts Marcus out the door.

After he's gone, Instead of heading for the kitchen like I'm supposed to, I fold my arms and I ask, "What's going on?" and I'll admit it feels good being able to ask a question without Caleb chastising me.

"Please take a seat, Beatrice," my mother says, her voice faltering. Quietly, she sits in the seat across from me and then my father joins her, nervously taking her hand.

"Mom? Dad?" I ask, slightly panicking now. I have no idea what's going on, but it looks serious and from what I heard, I have something to do with it.

"Beatrice," my father begins. "Your mother and I had to make some tough decisions in the past. Decisions that we made in order to protect our family, in order to give you and your brother a good name and a good life. Marcus was a strong ally when your mother and I were struggling to get on our feet. He gave me a seat on the council and he gave your mother a very respectable job overseeing the distribution of goods to the factionless. We owe him much."

I don't understand why. He's the leader of the faction. Isn't it his job to make sure that his members are taken care of? We owe him nothing.

"What does this have to do with _me_ _?"_ I ask anyways.

"Because of all that he had done for us, your father and I thought it selfish to deny him of any requests and we made certain promises to him," my mother says, her voice breaking. "But Beatrice please know we never imagined that these would be the types of demands that he would make. We learned much too late what kind of man Marcus really was. Is," she corrects herself softly, hanging her head.

"What has he asked for?" I ask, but no one answers. At this point it feels like my heart will beat itself right out of my chest. "Mom, what has Marcus asked for?"

"Do you know Tobias well?" My father says after a while.

I try to but I don't recognize the name. "Who's that?"

"Tobias is Marcus' son," he answers.

I shake my head. I don't know him well, but does anyone? I never knew that he existed until his choosing day two years ago when he joined my mother's community service project as a part of his initiation. He barely comes outside and even when he does he doesn't speak to anyone. He rarely makes eye contact and quite honestly it's kinda creepy. I honestly don't even remember the last time I saw him.

"What about him?"

"Marcus has been training his son to take over his role as leader of Abnegation," my mom says. "And when he turned sixteen Marcus started looking for a suitable match for his son and that's the first time he came to us. He figured that because your father and I were good people that it was only natural that we would raise a fine daughter. Apparently he's been watching you and he is rather impressed with you, Beatrice."

I almost laugh. Only ten minutes ago he referred to them as incompetent parents. Why would he assume that I turned out any better than Caleb did? Why would he be impressed with me? Is it just because I stayed in Abnegation? That's a rather poor excuse. Most Abnegation-born never leave, and I never stayed because I wanted to. Marcus obviously hasn't been watching me close enough. I am the epitome of what every Abnegation girl should _not_ be.

"If I may say so, he _is_ a fine boy, Beatrice," she adds. "He will make a good match for you."

"So Marcus wants his son to court me?" I ask quietly. I'm not sure I want to be courted. I don't know the first thing about boys, and I'm certain that I would be miserable trying to fit the mould of what a nice Abnegation girl should be. The best way for me to fit into this faction is to remain alone or with my parents.

"No, sweetheart," my mother replies. "He has asked for your hand."

"What?!" I yell, and I jump out of my seat so fast that my head spins. "That's ridiculous! I won't! You can't just give me away like I'm some piece of property! Why do you think you can make these types of decision for me?! I don't even _know_ him!"

"It's not like that, Beatrice," my mother begs as she stands to her feet. "You know that we both love you so much and that we would never make this decision for you. Whatever you decide, your father and I will deal with the consequences."

"What happens if I don't do it? What are the consequences? What is Marcus gonna do?" I blurt out all three questions at the same time.

"We lose everything," Dad says. "I lose my seat on the council. Your mother loses her job as well. And we don't care about the status, Beatrice. But Marcus will deny us work anywhere in Abnegation, and the entire faction is loyal to him. Without his support, your mother and I would not be able to sustain ourselves within this faction. And out of spite he might also discourage any other family from letting their son court you, jeopardizing your future as well."

"He can't do that," I scowl with an incredulous tone, not that I would mind that last part. "Our faction wouldn't allow any of its members to be treated that way."

"He can, Beatrice," my father replies softly, setting his hand on my shoulder. His touch surprises me and I look up into his eyes. "Marcus holds a lot more power than you would think. But even so," he says, "As difficult as things may become, we're ready to face it all if you're unwilling to marry the boy. Your mother and I will not force you into marriage."

Slowly, I sit down again and suddenly I'm not so sure what I want and don't want to do anymore. The only reason I came back to Abnegation was to make sure that my parents would be ok, but if I hadn't come back they wouldn't have been put in this position any at all. And if I don't marry Tobias, I'll be making their lives more difficult than it would have ever been if I had left.

All of a sudden the room looks blurry and I realize that there are tears in my eyes. How could this all be happening?

"I don't know what to do, Mom," I say when she takes a seat beside me on the small couch. "I don't want to marry him, but I don't want you and dad to suffer because of me."

"Living an underprivileged life so that our daughter can live her own life is hardly suffering, Beatrice," my mother says, and she takes my hand. And when I look up into her eyes I know what I must do.

I don't want to be the leader of Abnegation's wife. I don't want or need a good name or social status. The only thing I care about are the two people that would give their lives for me in a heartbeat if they ever had to. Without having to think about it I already know what decision they'd make if they were ever in my position.

I am not selfless, but I chose this faction with the intention that I would at least try to be- for them. Maybe this is my chance to prove myself.

"Ok," I say. "I will do it. I'll marry him."

* * *

 **TOBIAS**

I hear the front door open and my fists clench on command. If there ever were a day that I felt ready to stand up to my father, it's today.

He gets to decide what faction I choose. He gets to decide what job I move into. He gets to decide who I can and cannot speak to, but he will _not_ decide who I marry. I wasn't planning to marry at all. The propagation of his vile blood ends with me.

"Tobias! Come down here!"

He yells at me as if I'm still a child even though in the eyes of the law I'm an adult, and I have been for two years. Maybe marrying would not be such a bad thing after all. I'd move out of this house, get my own. It wouldn't be too far away but at least I wouldn't have to worry about him barging through the door with a belt in his hand.

I walk down the stairs holding my head high and my chest out the way he says that I should now that I've officially been declared a candidate for his succession. I don't really think that anybody cares about the way I walk. And even if they do, with Marcus' influence on the council, I will win the election either way.

I don't want to be the leader of Abnegation, but for some reason it means a lot to me that he thinks that I can do it any at all. He's always called me incompetent, weak, a sad excuse for a son. I never fought him about training me for the position because I thought that maybe if I did this, he'd be proud of me for once. But I don't need a wife in order to run a faction.

"Everything is going as planned, Tobias," he says as I make my way across the living room. "The Priors have no choice but to concede. It is after all in their best interest to not defy me."

"You threatened them?" I stop dead in my tracks.

A wicked smile crosses Marcus' face as he takes a seat around the dinner table, waiting for me to serve him. "One of the things you must learn, Tobias, is how to bend people to your will." But I have no desire to learn the art of manipulation.

I don't want to be anything like my father. Yet I crave his approval. I'm pathetic.

"I though you said that you were going to _ask_ the Priors for their daughter. You didn't say anything about threatening them. It's not like I don't have a choice in this," I say, raising my voice a little.

"You don't," Marcus seethes threateningly. He rises to his feet slowly and I know better than to speak. "You will not sabotage everything that I have built for you, everything that I have set in place to guarantee your success within this faction."

"I won't. But I don't need a wife to be successful," I say, trying to sound firm. "Especially one that was forced into this."

I've never spoken to Beatrice. I saw her once at my mother's funeral and then another time at school walking with her brother. She seems like a nice girl, one who doesn't deserve to have one of the biggest decisions of her life made for her.

"You do, Tobias," Marcus says, sounding more irritated than angry. "Being married helps others to view you as a man instead of the little boy that you still are. It forces others to respect you and to see you as one of status. That's why I selected a councillor's daughter. And if the Prior girl is as passive and gullible as her parents are then she will be perfect for you."

As soon as I begin to wonder why on Earth would I want a passive, gullible woman Marcus says, "Believe me, the last thing you need is a defiant, nagging woman like your mother was, tormenting you day and night while you try to run a faction. What you need is a small, quiet and obedient Abnegation girl who will have your meals ready and your house clean. One who respects you and understands that _you_ are in control."

I take a breath and I prepare myself for it. Whether he hits me, whether he yells at me, whatever he throws at me, I will not agree to this.

"I'm sorry, father," I say firmly. "But I will not be forced into marriage. And I certainly won't marry someone who is being forced to marry me."

Marcus steps away from the table and toward me. He doesn't seem upset, but rather resolved, as if what I just said had no effect on him at all. His face is stern. It is a face of wickedness.

"The girl marries you or she marries no one at all. I will see to it. Her father will fall from grace and her mother with him," he says and I immediately step backwards.

A blow to my head I could have handled. A whip on my back I would have suffered. But not this. He is manipulating me, forcing me to choose between my well-being and theirs. And how could I ever do anything to hurt Natalie Prior after all that she has tried to do for me?

"You'd really destroy their lives because _I_ don't want to marry her?" I almost whisper.

"No, Tobias," he says. " _You_ would be the one destroying their lives. If you wish to guarantee her and her family a future, you will do as I say." Marcus simply turns around and returns to his seat at the table, satisfied. He knows that he has won.

I am Abnegation. I can't let them suffer because of me. I won't.

* * *

 **A/N: And that's the first chapter! Really hope you guys liked hearing from both characters. I plan to update once a week for now until I get a little more writing done and can start updating a little faster. Thanks for reading! :) And Thank You to everyone who supported any of my previous stories and for giving me that extra push to keep writing. XOXO**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you all so much for your support on the first chapter! I was so happy to see it that I got super excited and couldn't resist posting this chapter a day early lol Hope you enjoy it! :)**

* * *

 **Chapter 2**

 **TRIS**

I just stand in my room staring at the barren wall, letting my thoughts drift here and drift there. But mostly I think about _him_. What is he like? What's his favourite food? His favourite colour? Does he even _have_ a favourite anything? If he's better at being Abnegation than I am then he probably doesn't. Valuing things that bring you pleasure is much too selfish.

I tremble with nervous panic at the thought that we might not have anything in common. He's Marcus' son after all, and who better to have taught him how to be selfless than the leader of Abnegation himself? Though, after the unveiling of Marcus' true character, I'd say it's only natural to bring into question the character of his son. What if he's as much of a monster as his father is? What if I regret this decision every day over and over again for the rest of my life?

"Beatrice?" my mother asks after knocking twice on my bedroom door, making me jump. She quietly lets herself in. "It's time, Sweetheart," she says, and her words are as heavy as iron sinking deeper and deeper into the pit of my stomach.

What on Earth was I thinking? This dinner was _my_ idea after all. I figured it would make things less awkward at the wedding if Tobias and I at least got the chance to become better acquainted beforehand. It seemed like a good idea when I suggested it. I'm not so sure anymore.

But I take three breaths.

In. Out.

In. Out.

In. Out.

I will not cry.

I force a smile as my mother closes the door behind her and walks toward me. She takes my hand and glances questioningly at the wall, probably wondering what the hell I was looking at. If we were in any other faction, I imagine that's where a mirror would hang.

"You know, you don't have to do this if you don't want to, Beatrice," she says to me, gently tugging at my chin to make me look at her. "Are you sure that this is what _you_ want?"

But her question takes me by surprise. Since when is anything ever what _I_ want? Being Abnegation means putting others before myself. Marrying Tobias is what I am supposed to do. Why would she even ask me something like that?

"Of course," I say quickly, not letting the question unnerve me further. "Now let's go. It would be rude to leave the guests waiting." And taking her by the hand, my mother and I walk through the door and begin to make our way toward the stairs.

My heartbeat picks up in my chest and I let go of my mother's hand before she can realize that it's sweating. I've never been this terrified of anything in my life, not even my aptitude test. But then again, this is so much bigger than that. I'm about to meet my future husband.

I take a deep breath as I take the first step downwards, holding on to the rail so as to not fall flat on my face and roll down the stairs in a catastrophic mess.

"There they are," my father says as my mother and I quietly descend down the stairs.

I stare at my feet, making sure each one is planted firm before I lift the other. I'm not sure if I am as afraid of falling as I am of looking up, seeing _him_. Seeing him makes it real.

 _Get a grip, Beatrice!_ I scold myself. And with good reason. Am I not still the same girl who believed that she was brave enough to be Dauntless, fast enough to jump on and off trains, and strong enough to face anything?

"Beatrice?" my father says, forcing my eyes upward. I smile apologetically but the nerves refuse to unhand my tongue, and then I'm just standing there like a frightened mute.

"Good evening, young lady," Marcus says commandingly, and it takes extra effort to not scowl at his tone. Why does he think he can talk to me like that?

I choose to ignore him, shaking my head quickly to wake myself up. "Good evening, Marcus," I finally say.

"I assumed she was better mannered," Marcus says to my father. And just as he is about to open his mouth to say some other stupid thing my mother cuts in and says, "She's just nervous, Marcus. No need to patronize her," making little effort to hide the annoyance in her voice. I have to bite my bottom lip to keep my mouth from falling open. That's the second time she's surprised me today.

"Very well then," Marcus says indifferently and he steps to the side. "Beatrice, I would like you to meet my son, Tobias."

But standing behind Marcus is a god. He's gorgeous, with flawless olive skin and dark hair. His jaw is strong and set and I suddenly find myself staring at his lips. My eyes only break away when Marcus whispers something in his ear and Tobias immediately stands up straighter. He's tall, strong, his grey robes falling elegantly over his body, and I can't believe that he was standing there this whole time. Why don't I remember him being this beautiful?

"Thank you for having me," Tobias says to me, his voice deep. "It's truly a pleasure to meet you." He bows politely, obviously nowhere near as terrified to meet me as I am to meet him.

I bow back, careful to not fall forward as the impulse of my heart slamming against my chest propels me forward. "Thank you for coming," I somehow manage to say without sounding like I'm being strangled.

My hands begin to tremble and they only come to a stop when my mother's comforting hand falls on my shoulder. "Andrew, why don't you escort our guests over to the table while Beatrice and I get ready to serve dinner?" she says.

"Of course," Dad replies. And gracefully, my mother leads me into the kitchen.

When we arrive she passes me a pair of oven mitts. I slide them onto my trembling fingers after thanking her and I slowly remove the pan of freshly baked chicken from the oven. I turn around to find her still looking at me curiously. I blush, embarrassed. I'm sure she saw me gawking at him.

"He's handsome," she says to me, smiling a little.

"Yes, he is," I say almost nonchalantly, but though terrified, I can't say I'm not relieved. The only thing worse than an arranged marriage, is an arranged marriage to an unsightly man. "Now let's just hope he's not as wound up as his father is," I think out loud.

"Beatrice!" my mother scolds playfully. She tries and fails to hide a grin, making me grin back.

It's strange seeing her this way. Today she is as unabnegation as I have ever seen her; asking strange questions, responding to Marcus' snide comment and now finding the humour in my disrespectful remark instead of scolding me. Strangely, I like it. Maybe she's more comfortable around me now that I'm an adult. Maybe she sees me as a peer and not only as her daughter. Makes me wish that Marcus would die in his sleep so that I could stay and be with her. Maybe with time we'd become closer, talk the way I imagine mothers and daughters do in other factions. Maybe she'd be that one person that I tell my secrets to.

I smile at her, and feeling just a bit more at ease I walk slowly towards the dining table before the scorching hot pan burns through the mitts.

Today's dinner is a bit more extravagant than usual, so it takes three trips to the kitchen to bring everything to the table. Tobias offers his assistance more than once, and I refuse just as many times, but only because I'm supposed to. I would actually appreciate the help.

"This all looks lovely," Marcus says when my mother and I finally sit at the table, all the food spread out in front of us.

"Beatrice prepared everything herself," my mother says. "She's quite gifted in the kitchen." I smile shyly at the compliment. There's so much more that I'd like to try in the kitchen, but faction norms dictate that I use all ingredients and seasonings sparingly.

"Let us be the judge of that," Marcus says snidely and I almost don't resist the urge to roll my eyes. Beside me, my mother squeezes her fork and my father sets a gentle hand on her thigh. I have to remind myself to look away. I rarely see my parents touch.

When I shift my eyes, they land across the table only to find Tobias staring straight back at me. I suddenly wonder if he's disappointed. I am nowhere near as attractive as he is. He could change his mind about the wedding now that he's seen how utterly unimpressive I am. But he smiles at me anyways, maybe a little bit too long, and I feel hot as blood rushes to my face.

I'm grateful when everyone else starts eating, and I try to focus on the clinking of forks against plates instead of the fact that Tobias keeps passing small glances and smiles my way. Every time our eyes meet I feel like I might turn into liquid or burst into flames.

 _What is it about him that makes me so nervous?!_ I think. But no. These aren't nerves. This is something else.

"This is really wonderful, Beatrice," he says to me. I almost faint. His voice is mesmerizing.

"Thank you," is all that I say.

I suddenly want to hit myself. How am I supposed to marry him if I can barely bring myself to speak to him? He's like the ultimate Abnegation prize, and somehow I have to find it in me to wake up every morning and be this beautiful creature's wife when I don't have a selfless bone in my body. What will he do with me when he realizes that I'm nothing more than a fake? A selfish Divergent wrapped in grey robes?

But then again, what _can_ he do? This is Abnegation after all. The only way you leave a marriage is dead.

Marcus' eyes shift between the two of us and with his palm he presses a firm grip into Tobias' arm, though I don't know what for. But it seems to mean something between the two, because after that Tobias keeps his eyes fixed on his plate. And for some reason I feel disappointed.

"So Tobias," my mother says as if she senses the awkwardness. "You seem like a fine young man. Tell us about yourself."

Tobias smiles. He has a nice smile.

"Unfortunately, there's not much to tell, Mrs. Prior," he says.

"There would be plenty to tell if he would involve himself in more of the faction's activities," Marcus cuts in. "But Tobias prefers to sit aside and watch others do his portion of the work for him. Isn't that right, Tobias?"

"I'm sure that's not true," my father says. "He looks like quite the hard working young man."

"Thank you, Mr. Prior," Tobias simply says.

"Your father tells us that you're looking to be his successor?"

He nods. "Yes, Sir."

"I pray that all goes in your favour when that time comes. You'll make a fine leader."

Marcus scoffs. "I have yet to make a fine leader out of him. He needs to learn how to make others want to follow him not because he is my son, but because he is a man of his own. So far he has earned nothing. The name and position he holds in this community is solely because of _my_ work, _my_ sweat, the burdens I have carried on _my_ back."

Tobias' fist clenches beside his plate, but ever so slowly he relaxes his hand and takes another spoonful of his meal. I can't help but feel upset and confused. Marcus is supposed to be trying to sell his son to us, lie about his every flaw, decorate his every imperfection. Or is he that obnoxious to believe that my parents would force me to marry his son regardless of what kind of person he is? Though, for some reason, I hardly believe that Tobias is any of the things his father says he is.

"Well the boy is still young, Marcus," my father defends Tobias a third time. "I'm sure that with time he will make his own path and he will do great things in this faction."

Tobias smiles kindly at my father, but it disappears just as Marcus says, "A man is made in his youth, Andrew. I'm sure you remember how young we were when I was voted into power by the people. You should. You were my most competent opponent."

My head quickly twists around as I turn to face my father. I never knew that he ran against Marcus to lead the faction.

"And no offense," Marcus continues. "But even then the faction was able to see that I was better suited for the position. And you're not much more of a man now than you were then."

"And you're not much of a man at all," I blurt out long before I realize that I have, unable to passively listen to Marcus' repellent rambling any longer.

"Beatrice!" my mother chides me at the same time I hear Tobias coughing on the other side of the table. I immediately stand to my feet and I rush to pour him a glass of water. Strangely, it feels like instinct. And in less than a second I'm by his side, pressing the glass of water into his hands.

"Here," I say as I offer him the glass. But nothing could have prepared me for the wave of static that rushes through me when ever so slightly his long fingers brush against mine. I almost drop the glass, but Tobias is quick, grabbing the underside of it before it could fall out of my hands.

"Thank you," he whispers, and I'm almost sure I see a smile on his lips as he presses them to the glass.

Great. Now he thinks I'm rude _and_ clumsy.

Quietly and with my head facing the floor, certain that absolutely no one has forgotten the comment I made only a minute ago, I return to my place at the table. I'll refrain from saying another word to Marcus, but I won't apologize for what I've already said.

During the short duration of this evening's dinner, I've already realized what kind of man he is. He's weak and in order to feel strong he preys on those he deems weaker than himself. It's why he belittles my father. It's why he belittles his son. It makes me wonder how come I've never seen it before. But then I realize that he's a liar, a fraud, and he's got all of Abnegation fooled with the righteous leader act that he has had decades to perfect.

Marcus looks at me from across the table, almost as if expecting an apology, but he waits in vain. He seems to realize it and he passes a death glare to my parents as he slowly rises to his feet. And that's when I remember why I'm supposed to be doing this in the first place. My parents would never force me to go through with this. It's entirely up to me to save them from _him_.

In less than a second I swallow my pride. "I do apologize, Marcus. Please forgive me," I say. The words taste like salt and vinegar in my mouth. "I meant no part of it." I meant every word of it. "I don't know where the rash words ever came from." I know _exactly_ where they came from.

This seems to satisfy him and I thoroughly want to make disappear the smirk that finds his face. "Very well," he says, and he slowly retakes his seat. He loves the control, I realize.

Tobias just stares at his plate, his face blank and his body tense. I figure it best to do the same.

I'm quiet for the rest of the night. My mind finding itself in strange, dark places. I realize that all this time I've been afraid of what life would be like married to a stranger. But I'm afraid I've been afraid of the wrong thing. I now believe the worst part of marrying Tobias is having Marcus Eaton as a father in law.

If I ever thought I could get away with not being selfless enough, I know better now. Abnegation was supposed to be the safest place for someone like me; at least that's what the Dauntless woman who administered my aptitude test told me. If this marriage is to work and if I want to protect my secret, I have to maintain some kind of peace with my husband's father. I can't let him discover what I am. I have to be selfless enough to ignore his demeaning comments, outright as they may be. And my mind must be quicker than my tongue.

I glance at my parents, watching for a moment as they eat in silence, wishing that I was able to lose myself the way that they so often do. Do I really want to do this? Can I do it any at all? Can I be anything other than the selfish, curious girl I have always been? Because she will have to die if Tobias agrees to marry me. But if he does not, then I must stand and watch as my parents' lives fall apart.

In that moment I feel fear like I have never felt if before. And I don't know which fear is greater; the fear that Tobias will choose to marry me, or the fear that he will not.

* * *

 **A/N: Please let me know if you liked chapter two :) And no, Tris hasn't yet realized that Tobias is being forced into this just like she is. She won't for a while… but that's as much as I'm giving away lol Until next time xoxo**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hey guys :) So I'm posting one day early again because you are all so amazing and I really appreciate the amount of support I've gotten for this story so far :) Thank you so much. Hope you enjoy this one!**

* * *

 **Chapter 3**

 **TRIS**

I align the lone, white flower that sits on the right side of my perfect Abnegation bun. It's the only adornment I wear. My wedding dress is simple; my mother's. It's a grey and white robe that flows all the way to my ankles. I personally think the thing is hideous, but of course I would never say so. It had to be taken in and shortened to better suit my size, and even so there's enough cloth on me to make a decent collection of blankets.

I take one last look at myself before following my parents to the meeting place. It's been a while since I've seen my reflection in the mirror. And it may be a while before I see it again. I don't expect that living with Tobias will be any different from living in any other Abnegation home. But I've prepared myself for it. I'm not afraid anymore. I'd do anything to keep my parents safe.

It wasn't too long into the morning following our dinner together when Marcus came over to discuss wedding arrangements with us. He seemed in a rush to get it all over with. I can't imagine why. After the stir up I caused at dinner, I doubt that Tobias found me that impressive that he felt the need to make me his wife in only a matter of weeks. A part of me wonders if Marcus somehow benefits from the union, but I don't see how. It may be that he really does want what he thinks is best for his son, as awful a person as he is. Maybe this is his own psychopathic version of 'parental guidance'.

I take a breath to clear my head and then I step outside of my small dressing room to find too many polite smiles and nods, or at least more than the one representative per household that I was expecting. Abnegation weddings are usually small and short ceremonies, taking place in the evenings. It would be selfish to dedicate an entire day to such a thing or to rob our faction-mates of their mornings, a time when most of the day's work is done.

But it seems as though Marcus invited everyone, since they'd never have come uninvited. He's lucky the Abnegation aren't people who pry or condone curiosity. He'd never be able to explain why Tobias and I never followed the normal courting timeline practiced by the Abnegation. It's no wonder he can get away with anything. Nobody ever questions him.

I don't make eye contact with anyone as under the evening sun I walk down the short, undecorated aisle alongside my parents. Instead I focus on the beautiful mental images of what I'd always imagined my wedding would be like. I remember I saw a Dauntless wedding celebration once. They were on the train, almost dangling out of it as they sped past us. Everyone was laughing and dancing. I'll never forget the bride's dress. It was elegant and beautiful, white with what looked like black jewels of some kind, glistening as the light would hit them.

They were so happy, and I think that was the first time I ever saw what real freedom was. I had wanted to be Dauntless ever since. Yet here I am, all dressed in grey and about to be cursed by the eternal bondage of Abnegation marriage, and to a stranger and his malicious father at that. I feel numb, barely present at my own wedding.

I arrive front and center and Tobias smiles nervously as my parents set my hand in his. I get goosebumps though his hands are warm and not particularly soft. I've never held a man's hand before. Except for my father's, when he'd walk me and Caleb to school when we were in lower levels. It feels strange. Nice, but strange.

Tobias, like me, wears traditional Abnegation wedding attire. But unlike me, he makes it look stunning. I try not to stare at him, so I shift my eyes from his body to his face to the crowd and then I begin again.

Councillor Anderson, who is also the faction's main spiritual advisor, then clears his throat softly and smiles as he opens the Bible. I wonder if Tobias is religious.

He begins to read some nonsense about the duties of a wife and the qualities of a good woman. I should probably listen, considering that I am nothing like what the good book describes. But I can't seem to because I see _his_ eyes for the first time. They're dark, but not brown or black. Blue actually, with a small patch of lighter blue on the left iris, right next to the corner of his eye. They look innocent and warm, thoughtful but guarded at the same time.

He's beautiful and I can't help but think that maybe he's being forced into this too. A man that looks like him would never willingly marry a girl that looks like me. Would he?

Suddenly, I feel a sting on my hand and I realize that Tobias is squeezing it.

"Beatrice?" Councillor Anderson says, and I'm sure I jump. "Would you repeat your vows, please?"

 _Already?!_ I think.

I nod nervously, unsure of just how long I've been standing there, lost in my head, staring at Tobias. I shudder, but no one could ever see it under all this cloth, and then I repeat the standard Abnegation vows spoken at every wedding.

"My dearest Tobias Eaton," I say sweetly, as if I didn't just meet the man. I feel ridiculous. "I, Beatrice Prior, give myself to be your wife and I humbly accept you as my lawfully wedded husband. I do solemnly swear to love and honour you, cherish and obey you, serve and please you, and to esteem you highly, higher always than myself. May pride and selfishness have no place in our home, neither in our hearts. May the teachings of our fathers be the light that guides us and may the virtues of our faction be the rock that grounds us. I take this sacred vow before my household, before your household and before our faction. May they always hold me accountable."

I say the words without thinking them through, because if I do I might self-destruct. Because though there is something undeniably beautiful about completely giving yourself away to someone else, there is also the irrefutable reality that I am selfish. And I am a liar.

"My dearest Beatrice Prior," Tobias begins after I place his ring on his finger, and I can't help but look away. "I, Tobias Eaton, give myself to be your husband and I humbly accept you as my lawfully wedded wife. I do solemnly swear to love and honour you, cherish and obey you, serve and please you, and to esteem you highly, higher always than myself. May pride and selfishness have no place in our home, neither in our hearts. May the teachings of our fathers be the light that guides us and may the virtues of our faction be the rock that grounds us. I take this sacred vow before my household, before your household and before our faction. May they always hold me accountable."

Tobias' voice is sultry and sincere, and I look up to find his beautiful blue eyes piercing into mine, almost like he wants me to know that he means every word. But how could he?

My hands tremble as he slips the simple grey band around my finger. If there ever was a time to change my mind about this, that time has passed.

Councillor Anderson blushes as he says, "I now declare you Mr. and Mrs. Tobias Eaton. With the blessing of your faction, you may now share a kiss as man and wife." And I just stand there, unsure of what to do. I know this is a wedding after all, but we are Abnegation. I never imagined in my wildest dreams that they'd ask us to do _that_. My heart races at the thought of kissing him, this beautiful stranger, and in front of so many people at that. But Tobias leans in, taking my face in his right palm, and he ever so gently presses his lips to mine.

Immediately I stiffen, paralyzed by the jolt of electricity that rushes from my lips to the very tips of my fingers and toes as his soft, wet lips glide against my own. My fingers ache and I quickly realize that it's because I want to touch him. But too quickly he pulls away, leaving me wanting.

"Beatrice," he says softly. "If you'll allow me," and he slowly bends, reaching beneath my horrid dress to remove my shoes. Beside him is a bowl of water, placed there by my father. I hesitate to set my foot in, but when I do I find that it's comfortably warm. And I feel the muscles in my leg become weak as his hands slowly caress and wash my feet, a custom only practised in Abnegation weddings. It is a symbol of service to one another, a sacred one.

I shiver as Tobias' thumb glides against my toes, and I become aware of nothing but the feel of his skin against mine. It feels incredible and I find myself wishing that his hands would climb higher and higher. Then all of a sudden I can't control my thoughts and I go from imagining what he must look like naked to picturing his beautiful body over my own, kissing me longer and harder than he just did.

I only wake from my trance when I hear the sound of light applause. Tobias looks up and smiles at me, a genuine smile. I blush, embarrassed, afraid that he could somehow see my thoughts. When he sets my foot back in my shoe, I stand stiff and stare at the evening sky as I try to will the images out of my head.

I wonder if this is why the Abnegation are so guarded when it comes to touch. Is this what everyone feels when they are touched by another person? Or is this a different kind of touch, provoking a different kind of feeling? I don't believe that anything this sensational could ever be typical.

 _"He will make a good match for you,"_ my mother had said when they told me that I was to marry Tobias. But how could she have known that my mind and body would yearn for his the way it does only after a single touch? I've never thought of such things before; even when she reticently implied that at some point things will become physical with me and Tobias. She assured me that he'd never force or rush me, and from what little I've seen of Tobias' behaviour, I believe her.

I certainly didn't think I'd be needing to worry about _sex_ for some time but I'd be lying to myself if I didn't admit that I'm taken with him. Maybe more than I should be considering that I barely know him. It wouldn't be wise to harbour such feelings for Tobias. At least not yet. I don't even know how he feels about me, about this wedding, which not before long is all over.

I actually feel relieved when little by little the crowd begins to dwindle after wishing us well. My parents are the last to leave, and my mother hugs me for longer than she ever has before saying goodbye. She also hugs Tobias and whispers something in his ear. Whatever it is, I don't ask. My mother has never spoken ill of Tobias and she seems to trust him entirely. That's enough to make me trust him too.

Eventually my parents leave and for the first time ever, Tobias and I find ourselves alone. But instead of it being quiet and awkward like most things Abnegation, my _husband_ wastes no time in turning to face me. I suddenly feel nervous.

"Beatrice," he says warmly. "I was hoping to talk to you before today but… it wasn't possible." He looks away as he rubs the back of his neck. I wonder if I make him nervous too.

"That's ok," I say. "We only have the rest of our lives to talk to each other, right?" I shrug and then smile.

Tobias laughs a little and then smiles back, looking relieved. "Yeah, I guess you can so say so," he says, the deep sound of his voice putting me on edge while his easy demeanour makes me feel more comfortable around him all at once.

Maybe being married to him won't be so bad after all. Maybe Marcus' ploy in some twisted way worked out in my favour, since I probably wouldn't have gotten married by any other means. At least not to anyone like Tobias. I'd dare to say I've hit the arranged marriage jackpot.

"Tobias," Marcus interrupts our first personal moment. I hope this isn't a preview of what the rest of our marriage will be like. "May I have a final word with my son for a moment?" he asks me. I could have sworn he had left already.

"Of course," I reply. _It's not like I could say no._

Tobias smiles a little and then they both walk back up the aisle, but not too far away from me. I see as Marcus presses a firm hand into Tobias' shoulder, but unlike what happened at dinner, he doesn't shrink under his father's touch. He stands tall, firm, handsome.

Marcus is doing most of the talking while Tobias listens keenly. I'd imagine him giving his son well wishes, but I already know he's incapable of such things. Curious to hear what he's saying, I take a couple steps closer, hiding myself behind the conveniently large podium where Councillor Anderson once stood. I shouldn't interfere, but who am I kidding?

"They really thought I'd sabotage them if they didn't go through with the wedding," I hear Marcus say. I immediately lean in closer. He must be talking about my parents!

"You mean you weren't going to?" Tobias asks.

"I'm not entirely sure I would have been able to," Marcus replies. "Andrew has no idea how much influence he holds over our faction. The people respect him. It would have been a great risk trying to deface his character. It seemed like a much smaller risk hoping that the girl would sacrifice herself to save her family. She _is_ Abnegation after all."

I almost throw myself over the podium as Marcus words fill me with rage. All this time he's been making empty threats! And all of a sudden everything makes sense. Marcus was never afraid of me seeing the real him. He was counting on it. He was preying on what little selflessness I have by threatening my parents because he knew that there's no other way that they would agree to an arranged marriage unless it was _my_ decision. He baited me!

"And now, you, as my son, with Andrew Prior's daughter by your side, there is not a man in Abnegation that wouldn't follow you."

"You manipulated them all?" Tobias says, but there's no anger in his voice. It's like he is asking a simple question like the time of day or what's for dinner. At least now I know what little regard he has for us.

"Yes I did, Son," Marcus says. Then quietly he whispers something else that I can't make out until he says, "You'll thank me when you not only control Abnegation, but this city." But no one person controls the city, so how could that possibly make sense? "The girl seems a bit more mouthy than I would have anticipated," Marcus adds. "But that can be dealt with. Try being nice to her at first, as unpleasant as she is. See if that gets her to cooperate."

Tobias doesn't protest, verbally or otherwise, and I gasp in disbelief as I realize that he has no problem with this at all. That's all this was to him; politics. They were playing us this whole time, and Tobias played his part so well. He almost had me fooled.

I want to spit at him. How could I have been so stupid to believe that we had some strange, inexplicable connection, to think that there was any good in him considering the man who raised him? He is as horrible as his father is!

My heart begins to ache, and with tears flooding my eyes I quietly sneak off until I'm far enough away to safely run.

 _You don't know him Beatrice!_ I scold myself as I run. I never should have trusted him. I had no business feeling all that I'd felt for him.

 _Well now I hate him!_

And now I'm stuck with him.

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 **A/N: Hope you guys liked this chapter (even though Tris was kinda in her head for most of it lol) :) Please review if you did. They make me happy ;)**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: A special thank you to Bamberlee, the world's greatest beta reader, for her wonderful contribution to this week's chapter! :)**

* * *

 **Chapter 4**

 **TOBIAS**

As I slip the grey band around Beatrice's finger, her hand trembles slightly. Not enough to be noticed, but _I_ notice it. Her hand seems so small compared to my own, and her fingers are thin and frail looking. But somehow, somewhere inside this small Abnegation girl there's an intriguing ferocity. I've seen it.

"I now declare you Mr. and Mrs. Tobias Eaton," Councillor Anderson says. "With the blessing of your faction, you may now share a kiss as man and wife."

Beatrice stands stiff, as do I. Although I had anticipated this part of the ceremony, I'm almost sure I hold my breath in terror. I've never kissed a woman and I'd bet my life that Beatrice has never kissed a man. It's nerve-racking for us both but I take control, unable to deny the fact that I really _do_ want to kiss her.

I lean down, and taking her face in the palm of my hand, I bring her lips up to meet mine. I shudder as they're pressed together, and I suddenly want to hold her tighter and bring her closer to me. But I pull away, afraid to try too much at once. Asides from the fact that I might be bad at it, I don't want to scare her or make her feel uncomfortable. In our faction, even the slightest form of intimacy is important and of great consequence; especially so in front of an audience.

There's an unexpected emptiness that washes over me when our lips come apart. It confuses me, but it doesn't surprise me. Ever since the day I met Beatrice, I've felt connected to her, taken with her. I don't know what it is but there's something special about her. Which is why I'll do anything to make her know that I'm in this marriage with her, even though the circumstances are far from usual.

"Beatrice," I say to her. "If you'll allow me," and I bend my knees, reaching for the ground. Slowly, I remove her shoes and I smile at the sight of her small toes. She hesitates at first, but then sets her left foot into the bowl of water prepared for the ceremony. Marcus was surprised when I told him I would be washing Beatrice's feet. It's more than just a gesture, it's a promise of service and selflessness throughout all the days of our union. A promise that I shouldn't be so willing to make to someone I barely know. But that's just the thing. Every time I think about her, I get this warm feeling deep down in my core as if I've always known her. And ever since the day I met her, I've thought of her often.

The sole of her foot is smooth against my thumb and I rub it more gently than I'm supposed to. Every touch of my skin against hers feels sensational and I only lose contact when it's time for me to wash the other. I look up, blushing, hoping that she hasn't noticed the extra time I've spent caressing her feet.

Our faction-mates begin to applaud lightly, signalling the end of my gesture and of our wedding ceremony. I set Beatrice's foot back into her small shoe and look up only to see beautiful blue-grey eyes staring down at me. I'm almost sure her cheeks flush before she lifts her head.

I stand to my feet, and after taking her hand, together we walk between the crowd of grey that stands on either side of the aisle. It's strange when they come to congratulate us and wish us well. They all probably know that Beatrice and I weren't courting, yet no one mentions it or bothers to ask us. Not that I'd expect anything else from the Abnegation.

I'm glad when the crowd begins to disappear, and when Beatrice's parents bid us farewell and leave us with kind words of advice. I haven't been able to talk to Beatrice, much less spend time alone with her. There's so much I want to say to her, ask her. I wouldn't know where to begin, but I do know that I want to apologize for this being forced on her, and I want to tell her how selfless and brave I think she is.

When we're finally alone, I don't hesitate to say, "Beatrice, I was hoping to talk to you before today but… it wasn't possible." I turn my face away as I think about Marcus' threats. I wanted to return to the Prior house but he forbade it. He was afraid that too much time or familiarity between us would somehow sabotage things.

"That's ok," Beatrice replies. "We only have the rest of our lives to talk to each other, right?"

My eyes open wide before I let out a laugh. How is it that she can make jokes about this? I smile back at her, amazed at the way she makes me feel so warm and like I'm about to jump out of my skin all at the same time.

"Yeah, I guess you can say so," I say. Somehow I know that having each other to talk to for the rest of our lives won't be such a bad thing at all.

Just then, interrupting my first personal moment with Beatrice, I hear Marcus yell my name. "Tobias," he says as he walks toward us. And then looking at Beatrice he asks, "May I have a final word with my son for a moment?"

"Of course," she replies kindly, taking me a little by surprise. I'd imagine that after everything she despises my father.

Following Beatrice's lead and not wishing to put an end to his good mood, I follow him immediately until we've put some distance between us and Beatrice. When we come to a stop he turns to me and rests his hand on my shoulder. Normally I would be afraid of his hands on me, but not anymore. After today, I'm free of him, since Beatrice and I have been given a house of our own, a right given to every married Abnegation couple.

"You did well today, Tobias," Marcus begins. "The people only have good expectations of you, especially given your choice of bride. They hold the Priors in high regard, even after the transfer of their son." Marcus twists his face in annoyance, or jealousy. "They don't deserve the esteem of this faction. They're such gullible people. They really thought I'd sabotage them if they didn't go through with the wedding."

"You mean you weren't going to?" I ask in confusion.

"I'm not entirely sure I would have been able to," Marcus replies. "Andrew has no idea how much influence he holds over our faction. The people respect him. It would have been a great risk trying to deface his character. It seemed like a much smaller risk hoping that the girl would sacrifice herself to save her family. She _is_ Abnegation after all."

I try to open my mouth to say something, anything, but my words fail me.

"And now, you, as my son, with Andrew Prior's daughter by your side, there is not a man in Abnegation who wouldn't follow you," Marcus adds in my silence.

"You manipulated them all?" I simply ask, too shocked to convey any emotion at all. Even _I_ have never seen Marcus stoop this low, and I have seen the worst of him.

"Yes I did, Son," he says, and then he whispers, "It was necessary. I don't expect you to understand because you're ignorant of the changes taking place in our world. But soon you will, and you will thank me when you not only control Abnegation, but this city. The girl seems a bit more mouthy than I would have anticipated, but that can be dealt with. Try being nice to her at first, as unpleasant as she is. See if that gets her to cooperate."

I just stand there, trying to keep a straight face, trying to act like Marcus' words don't infuriate the living hell out of me. Not only did he threaten Beatrice's family, but he baited her using the one thing that our faction stands for. He used her greatest quality against her. And after all that he has done to her, he thinks that I'd need to _pretend_ to be nice to her? With what little I know of her, she has already earned my respect. Any woman who's brave enough to stand up to my father deserves as much. I'll never forget her little outburst at dinner. I had to pretend like I was choking in order to mask the laughter that fought to escape my mouth. And then she was ever so quick to fetch me a glass of water. She is as caring as she is brave.

Beatrice Prior is much stronger than I have ever been. And she is a much better person than Marcus Eaton will ever be. He had ranted about her 'impertinence' for hours after we returned home from dinner and it took everything in me to not laugh at how ridiculous he sounded. Beatrice is perfect in every way. Even now, the thought of her brings a small smile to my face.

But when Marcus says, "If being nice doesn't work then other measures must be taken. You know what to do," another emotion takes hold of me and I almost lose it. I know _exactly_ what measures he's referring to, and it makes me sick as images of him dragging my mother across the floor and throwing her against the walls fill my head. So many years have passed but sometimes I think I still hear her screaming.

I bite my tongue in between my teeth and I don't answer him, afraid that he will hear the venom in my tone. There's no point in angering him over this. After today I become my own man. I will live in my own house. And he will not tell me how to treat my wife. I will _never_ lay a hand on Beatrice. I plan to treat her well, and I hope that somehow I can make up for the fact that she was forced to marry me.

"I know she's not much to look at," Marcus continues, rolling his eyes, "but she'll be useful in your ascension in society. And you don't need to look at her when she is pleasuring you."

In that moment I feel something between a choke and an incredulous laugh rise up in my throat. Is he blind?! Did he not see the way that her long, beautiful, blond hair cradles her face? Did he not see the sky when he looked in her eyes? She is small, but enchanting. And I doubt that I would be able to look away from her when we consummate our marriage. Whenever that is.

I'm sure I turn red at the thought. I don't even know how to go about doing that. I've never been intimate with a woman, and as sure as I was that today was Beatrice's first kiss, as Abnegation norms dictate, I'm just as sure that she's never been intimate with a man. I have heard _some_ things; that it is wonderful and that it forms a special bond between husband and wife. But I doubt that what my father tells me is true. Sex can't just be for _my_ benefit. There must be some way to make Beatrice enjoy it too.

I guess I will find out with time, since, as my wife, Beatrice is expected to put my needs above her own as Abnegation's teachings require. But I would never force her or make her feel obligated. Especially considering that we never courted like normal Abnegation couples do, and it may take a while before she is ever comfortable with me, though she may never outrightly admit that she isn't.

I can only hope that if we both do our best, this marriage ends up being more than just survivable. I aim for Beatrice's happiness. After all, as her husband it is my duty also to put her needs above my own.

"I'm sure I'll get by, Father," I say with a phony smile, and then a genuine smile takes over when I realize that this conversation may very well be the last one that I am forced to have with this monster.

We say our goodbyes and then quickly I head back to find Beatrice. Which at first is a real task because I scour the grounds, unable to find her. But then, out of nowhere, I hear an angry voice behind me ask, "Are you looking for _me_ … _husband_?" She growls the last word, staring into my eyes with livid ferocity.

"Beatrice," I say softly, tilting my head to the side a little. "I _was_ actually. I was thinking we could go home now… if you want."

Without saying another word, Beatrice takes off, practically slamming her foot into the ground with every step. I run to catch up behind her, but this only makes her walk faster.

Trying to lighten the mood and having absolutely no idea why she's upset, I say, "You won't be able to outrun me, you know. Four of your steps are like one of mine." But it's to no avail. She just rolls her eyes at my attempt at making a joke; though it's not really a lie. Uncomfortable, I just stay quiet as she begins to walk faster, up until she makes a wrong turn. "Beatrice, do you even know where you're going?" I ask.

She stops and swiftly turns around. "Well I've been trying to get away from _you_ for the past ten minutes but you keep following me!" she yells.

A little bit frightened, I put my hands up in surrender, unsure of what the hell is actually happening. Is she mad at _me?_ "I'm sorry. I was under the impression that we were going home," I say, speaking slowly and carefully as if being threatened by a wild animal.

"Understand this, _Tobias_ ," Beatrice scowls, "Whatever house you're taking me to is hardly my home. My home is with Andrew and Natalie Prior. Not with you."

"Ok," I say. Completely taken aback by her sudden change in mood but unwilling to fight with her, I simply turn and point her to the direction of our house. She storms off in front of me again, cursing at her dress as she struggles to brisk walk in it.

I follow closely behind her and I only take the lead when we start to come up on the house. She trails behind me unenthusiastically and starts to tap her feet against the concrete as I fumble around in my pocket to find the keys.

"Could you hurry? I _need_ to get out of this dress," she barks at me.

I don't reply. I swing the door open and say, "Welcome…," in the most careful voice I can find.

Without thought, Beatrice rushes past me and heads straight upstairs. You'd think she was here before, but since all Abnegation houses are identical, she knows her way around it and I'm sure she's headed for the master bedroom.

Feeling both concerned and frightened, I follow her up the stairs and into the bedroom. "Beatrice, I don't understand. Is everything ok?"

But she says nothing. She looks at me, but instead of answering me, she peels her wedding band from her finger and throws it on the table beside the bedhead.

"I know this isn't ideal for either of us, but…," I pause. "If there's anything I can do to make you more comfortable, I'd be more than happy to." But Beatrice just continues to ignore me and rolls her eyes, a gesture that is considered grotesquely ill-mannered within our faction, and she's done it at least five times in the past three minutes.

"Beatrice," I try again. "Please, tell me. Did I do something wrong?"

"Oh shut up," she snarls at me as I make a feeble attempt to step into the bedroom. "There's nobody here. You can cut the act." She throws a pillow at me. "You can sleep in the couch downstairs, or in the room down the hall. In fact, I don't really care where you sleep, just stay the hell out of my bedroom."

"But-"

"-And if you think I'm ever having sex with you, you're out of your damn mind," she interrupts and slams the door in my face. Then I'm left standing there, staring at the wooden door with a pillow in my hand, wondering what on Earth is her problem.

Quiet, obedient, Abnegation woman my ass.

* * *

 **A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed hearing from Tobias! :) Please let me know what you thought of this chapter. Also, if you like this story, feel free to check out my other full length story '** _ **Divergent Love Stories'**_ **. It's lengthy, but worth the read :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

 **TRIS**

That night I barely close my eyes, and even when I do manage to fall asleep, I am plagued by nightmares of Marcus and Tobias. I dream of returning home to my parents only to be violently taken away from them; Marcus dragging me by the left foot and Tobias dragging me by the right. I dream of being forced to keep quiet, my mouth stapled shut. I dream of being chained to the kitchen table as I watch Tobias eat the meal that I was forced to prepare for him.

Although I know there's no way in hell I'd let either of the Eatons treat me like their little puppet, I feel defeated. I feel manipulated and exploited. Not by Marcus though; I couldn't possibly care less about Marcus. Instead I find myself being furious with Tobias, although he and his father are equally guilty. I suppose it's because I feel betrayed by him. I suppose it's because he gave me the false impression that I could trust him. He made me believe he was someone he wasn't and had me feeling things I had no business feeling for him.

I don't know how he did it, but Tobias even managed to fool my mother with his act. She never would have let me marry him if she had known what kind of person he was. _I_ never would have married him if I had known what kind of person he was. He was sure to keep me deluded even during the wedding, washing my feet as a promise of service. He's a fake and a liar just like his father, making a mockery of our faction's sacred traditions and all that they stand for. But he can't fool me anymore. And he can't _make_ me be his wife any more than I can turn water into wine.

All of a sudden I'm overcome by rage all over again, my wounded pride getting the best of me, screaming for justice. And in the back of my mind a small part of me whispers, ' _He who yields to pride and seeks revenge should dig two graves before he begins._ ' It's an old Abnegation platitude that I've heard more than once in my short lifetime. But I dismiss it, despite the bitterness I already feel growing inside me.

Feeling brave and defiant, I crawl out of bed long after the sun has risen like the awful Abnegation wife that I am. As hungry as I am, Tobias is the last person I want to see. But I will not be trapped inside this room, hiding from him like a scared child. This is my house too.

Wearing nothing but my underwear and realizing that the only thing I have to put on me is that horrid wedding dress, I scream in frustration. I fight with all ten pounds of cloth for a full ten minutes before I'm ever able to get it on. And after it's on it takes me back to yesterday, then all I want to do is rip it off.

Unmindful of the mess I must look, I head downstairs and towards the kitchen. Given the time, I had expected to find Tobias awake, but what I see next stops me dead in my tracks. The table is set for two, with fruit, bread and a bowl of oatmeal at each place. Tobias sits patiently in his seat, turning to look at me when he realizes that I'm standing there.

"Good morning, Beatrice," he says when I say nothing.

"What is this?" I eventually ask, confused out of my mind.

He stands and says, "I made breakfast. I waited for you."

I stay quiet for a few seconds as I question his sanity, but then I laugh, a deep laugh, from the very pit of my stomach. "Oh how kind," I say sarcastically, placing my hand over my heart. "It's a pity you didn't starve to death."

In a split second, Tobias' expression changes from one of expectation to obvious annoyance.

I upset him. Good.

"Beatrice-," he begins imploringly, but I don't care to hear it.

"-I can make my own breakfast," I interrupt, and I make my way over to the fridge, not caring to even look in his direction when I walk past him.

Letting out a frustrated breath, Tobias takes his seat and stares at his bowl of oatmeal as if the answers to all his problems are written down in there somewhere.

"You're still in your dress," he says impassively and without looking up. "You should change into something more comfortable. Your belongings are in a suitcase by the front door."

I'm about to chastise him for passing orders at me when I realize, "My clothes are here?! And you didn't think to give them to me?!"

Tobias looks up and raises an eyebrow at me. "You kicked me out of the room last night. I wasn't sure that you wanted to be disturbed," he says coolly.

I guess I can't argue with _that._

"Fine," I say, and I close the fridge door after taking out an apple. I take a bite out of it as I walk toward the front door to get my suitcase, and I don't miss Tobias' eyes as they follow me every step of the way. I suddenly feel self-conscious, becoming aware of the way I walk, the way my arms swing at my side.

Still not having touched his breakfast, he stands from his chair the second I pick up the suitcase and start walking towards the stairs. I walk faster, trying to beat him to it, but his legs are longer and with only a few quick strides he stands in my path, blocking the stairs.

"Beatrice, may I have a moment please?" he asks ever so politely.

"Well you're not really giving me an option, are you?"

Tobias towers over me, and he's muscular everywhere I am frail. But I'm not afraid of him. I'm not afraid of him _or_ his deranged father. They can do whatever they want to me and my family. I'm sure we'll be happier having nothing together than living this nightmare while forced to be away from each other. And I'm certain my parents would agree.

Tobias sighs. "Listen… I know that this is far from what you had envisioned for your life, or at least I imagine so. But… there's no reason to make things more difficult than they already are. We don't have to be friends but we should at least learn to live in peace."

Tobias speaks softly and gently and I almost believe him. He stands elegantly, looking all innocent and breathtakingly handsome with his beautiful blue eyes and thick, dark curls. Just then, my body feels warm and for a moment I wish that I had at least tended to my hair before coming downstairs.

 _No! Don't let him trick you!,_ my inner me scolds. He's a liar just like his father, and he continues to lie even after he's been found out. I suddenly begin to wonder how far he's willing to go, how much it would take to make him break and drop the act.

"You want us to try and live in peace? Like the Amity?" I ask. I wonder if he knows I'm making fun of him. Most Abnegation don't process sarcasm.

"I really do," Tobias says sweetly and with a small smile. He still wants to play this game? Fine then. Let's play.

"Ok, Tobias," I shrug. "I will do my best."

He lets out a heavy breath of relief and says, "Thank you, Beatrice. I'm glad we could talk." And he steps out of my path. "I'll leave your breakfast on the table. It'll be there whenever you're ready for it," he says. "Now, if you'll excuse me a moment, I'll be in the laundry room. I have some dirty clothes I should probably tend to."

Examining the suitcase in my hand, I realize I have a beautiful opportunity to ruin his day.

"Tobias, wait," I say, quickly following behind him. He turns around. "I'd be happy to tend to your laundry. I have to do mine anyways," I lie. I'm certain my mother washed every last thing before packing them up.

Tobias smiles. "I'd really appreciate that," he says, surprising me. I was half expecting him to put on his selfless act and decline my offer. "A couple of the cabinets in the kitchen need tending to, so I'd like to dedicate some time to that," he explains. "I'd hate for you to get frustrated with them unnecessarily."

I nod with mock understanding, fighting to hide my annoyance at the fact that he already assumes I'll be spending quality time in the kitchen cooking his meals. "Of course," I say sweetly, and I walk towards the laundry room.

I find his basket set on a small table to the side when I enter. I stare at it for a short while, trying to decide between accidentally bleaching his clothes or ironing them with the entire can of starch. Still undecided, I begin to dig into the basket filled with all of one shade of grey. I pull out his boxers and I feel naughty as I contemplate the parts of him that have come in contact with this particular piece of clothing. It reminds me of an afternoon when my mother had trimmed my hair, and trying to be helpful, Caleb used a towel to wipe up the tiny pieces of chopped hair. A towel which he later washed with his underwear.

And that's when I get the most wonderful idea.

I _will_ do his laundry, and I'll do it properly so that he doesn't see it coming. And then, when his clothes are nice and dry, I'll leave him a little present on the inside.

I empty the contents of his basket into the wash basin, preselecting what items of clothing I'd prefer he wear to work tomorrow. It's not like the first grey coat is any different from the second or the third, so I'll have to find a way to mark it. I'll need to make sure that he wears that very special one.

Then, I search the laundry room for a pair of scissors, and I select the chunk of my hair that is to be sacrificed. I grin an evil grin, imagining Tobias scratching himself silly in front of every esteemed member of the council. I wonder if he'll keep up the act _then?_

Pretend to be nice to me, he will? I'll show him just how nice _I_ can be.

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you guys so much for your reviews on the last chapter! I hope you like this one as well. Remember, it's not the destination. It's the journey ;) lol And a special thank you to leek812 for all your reviews on DLS and for being my 500** **th** **reviewer! Thanks for being a special part of hitting that milestone :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

 **TOBIAS**

I wake up with every muscle in my body feeling sore and stiff after what I can safely say has been the most uncomfortable night of my life. Understandable, since I was yet again forced to cram myself up on a sofa that's barely five and a half feet wide. But I bear it. I'd hate to make Beatrice uncomfortable by forcing myself in the bedroom with her, especially since we've made _some_ progress and she's promised to try and be civil.

There are two more bedrooms in the house, but they're bare. Beatrice and I won't be able to lay claim on an extra bed until we need it. That is, until we have children. Which, at this rate, won't be anytime soon. I'd have better luck making friends with the sofa.

Stretching myself out for the first time in eight hours, I feel agony and relief at the same time. I take in a breath and then let out a loud groan as I exhale, something I would never dare to do in my father's house. I relish it, dragging it out more than I need to.

"Tobias?" I hear Beatrice say, and it suddenly wakes and shuts me up.

"I apologize. I didn't know you were awake," I say, embarrassed. I stand to my feet and fold my sheets quickly before setting them down in the far corner of the sofa.

"Don't be silly," she says sweetly as she stands at the bottom of the stairs. "There's no need to apologize. Good morning, by the way."

"Good morning," I reply softly.

Then, fully dressed and ready for the day, Beatrice makes her way over to the kitchen. "I've already prepared breakfast," she says. "I figured you'd be leaving early for work today."

Hesitantly, I follow her into the kitchen. It's still a bit unnerving seeing her behave this way when less than two days ago she threw me out of my own bedroom. It's like she's a whole different person. But I do prefer this side of her. I guess the reality of this, of _us_ , hit her the minute the wedding was over and knocked her into a less than rational state.

But Marcus did warn me that women can go from hot to cold in a millisecond, so I'm not surprised. I'm just glad that Beatrice has been in a better mood since then. I was relieved that she heard me when we spoke yesterday, and it made me even happier to prove my father wrong. You _don't_ have to beat someone into hearing and respecting you. Respect is earned when it is given. And with time, with treating Beatrice as my equal, things could only get better. Maybe one day she'll even let me sleep in the bed.

But I know better than to push her. It would be selfish to, considering how uncomfortable she would be sleeping beside me, a man she barely knows. She'll let me in when she's good and ready to.

She may try to hide it now, but I've already seen that Beatrice is not afraid to make known her discontent, a quality uncharacteristic of Abnegation women. It makes me think and rethink everything I do and say, because I'm constantly fearful that I'll do something to upset her, setting us backwards instead of forward. Earning her trust will not be easy, but I'm at least grateful that she's given me the chance.

"Have a seat," Beatrice says to me as I walk into the kitchen. Not sure if she would be displeased if I sat at the head of the table, where it is customary for the man of the home to sit in Abnegation families, I pull out the corner chair closest to me. I'd hate to make her feel the way Marcus made me feel; like a servant.

She sets the plate of bread and eggs in front of me, along with a tall glass of milk. Then she sits at the chair across from mine and smiles.

"You didn't make any for yourself?" I ask when I realize that the only plate on the table is mine.

"I did," she says. "But I'm not hungry yet. I'll have breakfast a little later."

"Oh," I say, feeling a little bit disappointed. I guess I was hoping we would eat together. This already feels strange enough as it is since, for as far back as I can remember, I've always been the one making breakfast. Still, I pick up my fork and say, "Thank you, Beatrice. This looks lovely."

"You're most welcome, Tobias," she says sweetly, and then she just sits there looking at me.

Smiling, I take a big scoop out of my plate. But when I taste the first mouthful of eggs, it takes all the self-control that I possess in my body to not spit it out the minute it touches my tongue. The eggs are nauseatingly salty, as if she threw the entire bottle of salt in it. So I grab the glass of milk, chugging it down to wash away the bitter taste, but the milk is sour and warm, and it only further rouses the already violent urge that I have to vomit. Desperately reaching for the only other thing in my plate, I take a slice of bread that I soon find is almost too hard to chew. It makes me want to choke, but daring to not take even another sip of that milk, I summon control of my body and I swallow.

With kind grey eyes, Beatrice looks at me, expectant. So I force it all down, not wanting to hurt her feelings. She's _obviously_ not the best cook, although I'm almost certain that the last time I ate from Beatrice's hand, it was divine; nothing even remotely close to the disaster that sits in my plate. Unless that was a lie, and it _wasn't_ Beatrice who had prepared that dinner.

"Did you enjoy it?" Beatrice asks with a hopeful smile when my plate is empty.

"I did," I lie, and my throat burns me almost as if punishing me. "Thank you for breakfast, Beatrice. I'd be more than happy to make breakfast tomorrow." _And every other day after that_ , I think.

"It's no problem at all," she says as she stands from the table. She reaches for a container from the countertop that I didn't even realize was sitting there. "I made you lunch as well." Beatrice sets the container in front of me, and the growls of my stomach are more like screams of protest. I almost want to pretend to forget it when I leave, but then I feel guilty. She _is_ trying, after all. I should appreciate that.

"Thank you, Beatrice," I say, defeated. "And thank you for doing the laundry yesterday, and doing the ironing today."

"It was my pleasure," she smiles. "This way, it's like you're taking tiny little pieces of me with you to work."

I nod, although I have no idea what she means. And then I stand and clear the table.

I'm about to tend to the dishes when Beatrice stops me. "It's ok. I'll do the dishes. You go get ready for work," she says with a smile. It's already late so I agree, and I quickly take a bath and put on the clothes that she was nice enough to lay out for me. Not before long I head out the door.

* * *

When the morning wind hits my face, I smile. It's a strange feeling; waking up when I want to, finding my clothes already tended to, going to work on my own. I still wouldn't dare to arrive late, since I spend most days shadowing Marcus at the City Hall. But at least now I feel as if I have some sort of control over my life. Ironic, since this version of my life is one that Marcus chose for me. And even with my neck stiff and the sour taste of breakfast still on my tongue, I prefer it. But only until I think of Beatrice and how difficult this has all been for her. I'd go back to living my old nightmare in a heartbeat if it meant that she could be happy and at home with her parents.

I walk to work like most Abnegation do, and I'm greeted by kind smiles on the way in. I'm known and respected by everyone here, and though I'm grateful that Andrew Prior was kind enough to defend my honour in front of my father, Marcus wasn't wrong to say I've never done anything to deserve it. All I do at the City Hall is show up.

Before I can even properly arrive at my father's office, Emily, our secretary, hands me a copy of yesterday's newspaper.

"Good Morning, Mr. Eaton," she says to me, her face flushed.

"Please, Emily. Call me Tobias," I say like I have said only a million times to her. Besides the fact that I hate to be known by the same name as my father, Emily and I are just about the same age. She chose only year after me.

"Thank you. But that would be improper. Especially at work," she says as she always does, not quite looking into my eyes.

Emily has made it pretty obvious that she fancies me. Truthfully, I was surprised that Marcus never saw her as a suitable match for me. Her father, Noah Taylor, is a councillor as well as Andrew Prior. And unlike Beatrice, Emily wouldn't have had to have been coerced to marry me. But as selfish as it would be to admit it, I _do_ prefer Beatrice despite her horrible cooking and devilish tantrums. There's just something about her spirit that appeals to me, though I can't quite figure out what it is yet.

Kindly, Emily opens the door to my father's small office, ushering me in. I thank her and she closes it softly behind me.

"Tobias. Good. You're here," Marcus says roughly before I can issue him a greeting. "Have a seat. Let me update you on what's been happening over the past few days."

I take a seat across from his barren desk, grateful that he wants to discuss work instead of how I spent the last two days. Although I'd never dare to let him know about Beatrice's fit, or the fact that I'm sleeping on the sofa in the living room.

"I trust that Emily gave you a copy of yesterday's newspaper," he continues. "It's filth. All filth," he growls. "I'd love to grab the idiot who wrote this by the throat and strangle him until he's as blue as the tie around his neck. I can't believe-"

But suddenly, Marcus is interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Please, come in," he says loudly, but his tone ever so charming. I imagine Beatrice rolling her eyes at him and I smile.

"Marcus. Tobias," Noah nods politely as he greets us. "I'm sorry to interrupt."

"Nonsense. You are always free to join us," Marcus says kindly. "Tobias and I were just discussing the latest… upset," he sighs, "and the importance of civility even under these circumstances. We must not lose sight of who we are as a faction even though there are those who may try to test our strength."

I bite my bottom lip to keep my mouth from falling open. Despite the fact that I have no idea what _upset_ Marcus is actually talking about, I am constantly amazed at his ability to transition from angry enforcer to his excellency, righteous and holy leader of the Abnegation. It makes me wonder, if he's able to control his temper, why did he never bother to with me? Or with my poor mother?

"Those are most certainly wise words," Noah says as he takes a seat beside me. "We as a people know that the allegations against our faction are false. We need not try to prove ourselves. Vindication is for the proud."

I try to pay attention to Marcus and Noah as they exchange thoughts on the matter, and furtively I flip through the pages of the paper, trying to figure out exactly what rumours the Erudite are propagating _this_ time. But all of a sudden, just as I'm about to start reading the article, I begin to perceive an itch in an area I'd dare not scratch.

Methodically, I begin to slide slowly against the seat, back and forth, hoping that the friction would be enough to dull the itch. But it's futile, and the itching only becomes worse. It quickly spreads to my thighs and under my arms and between my legs, and just about everywhere my clothes are touching my skin.

 _What in the world?!_

"Tobias, is everything ok?" Noah asks me. "You're practically shaking in your seat." Marcus just looks at me and I'm unable to read his eyes, until they glare quickly at my legs and then back up.

I realize I'm rubbing my arms and my legs are pressed together. "It's a bit chilly," I say without thinking. It's the stupidest thing I could have said. It's the middle of summer.

"Is it?" Noah asks, looking concerned. "Your coat might be too thin. Hopefully the Erudite won't restrict our linens this month. I'll be sure to save you some when they're being distributed."

"Thank you," I say as I nod and let out a sigh, relieved that Noah, unlike me, is one hundred percent Abnegation and he doesn't press the issue further. And not before long, he and Marcus are discussing faction politics again, leaving me to my thoughts.

I'm taken back to yesterday, trying to figure out exactly what I did differently to my laundry that would make it unbearably itchy. But then I remember, I _didn't_ do my laundry yesterday. Beatrice did. But even so, I had everything already prepared in the laundry room and I didn't see her use anything other than the standard issue detergent and softener.

As much as I'd hate to blame her, she's the only new factor introduced into the equation. How could she possibly be bad at doing laundry?! You put the clothes in with the soap and then you rinse them out! And I'm sure that this isn't her first time doing laundry. Abnegation are taught from a tender age how to tend a home. But then again, most learn to cook by age thirteen, and Beatrice appears to have never cooked a day in her life. Breakfast was beyond horrible and I'd bet my life that the lunch she made is just as horrid.

None of it makes sense. Natalie is a good woman and mother. I know for certain that she would never take lightly the customs of our faction, allowing her children to grow up without so much as a clue. Either incident alone is unbecoming of an Abnegation member, but simultaneously being unable to handle food _and_ laundry is near impossible.

Unless… _Unless_ _she's doing it on purpose!  
_  
I gasp and my face twists in fury at the realization that all this time Beatrice has been taking me for a fool; being nice to me one minute, shouting at me the next, and then pretending to be nice again as a means of sabotaging me in my ignorance. And I was stupid enough to believe that she offered to help with the laundry and make breakfast because she wanted to at least try and live in peace.

 _How could she be so selfish?!_ I scream to myself, my fists clenching at my side. She is _nothing_ like her sweet mother. Perhaps that explains why Beatrice's mood shifted when it did. I think back to where this all began and I now see that she waited until she was certain that her parents were long gone before acting out. I have every confidence that they'd never encourage this sort of behaviour.

And to think that even after all was said and done, I had put her needs above my own like I had promised her on our wedding day, like the good Abnegation man that I tried to be for her. Even after my own choice was taken away, I considered her at every opportunity. And this is how she chooses to behave? Like a spoiled, selfish child?!

I imagine her sitting at home feeling satisfied with herself and my blood boils.

"What do you think, Tobias?" Noah suddenly asks, startling me.

I quickly untwist my face, hiding the rage there. I smile and nod, hoping that this is an appropriate response for the question I'm being asked.

"Excellent. Today's meeting begins at 1:00pm. It would truly be an honour to hear your opinion on these matters." Noah looks at me with sincere eyes as he speaks. I suddenly realize that he's asking me to participate in the council meetings. I usually attend as an observer along with a few other faction members and some of the councillors' wives, but I've never been allowed to speak. Truth is, I've never _wanted_ to speak. I find many of the decisions made by our council to be… unproductive, and it would be grossly unwise to say so.

"You are quite the young man, Tobias. I'm sure you would make a fine leader for this faction," Noah adds. "I never did get a chance to congratulate you on your wedding day, by the way. I've met Andrew's daughter before. She seemed like such a lovely girl."

 _Oh did she?!_ Well the persistent itching of my arms and legs and my blessed crotch makes me think that she's the devil himself. I feel like I could scream at the top of my lungs at the very mention of Beatrice.

"I guarantee you, Mr. Taylor. There is _no one_ like her," is all I can say. I speak through my teeth and I try extra hard to hide the bitterness in my tone.

"It would be an honour to have you over for dinner one of these days, after you've both settled in, of course," Noah says. "My wife and the girls would all be happy to have you."

I don't hesitate to accept the offer. If it were anyone else, I would question the nature of it. Since it's almost guaranteed that I will be the next leader of this faction, many might try to get in my good graces. But Noah has always been kind to me, and God knows I _cannot_ stomach another one of Beatrice's meals today. Quite honestly, I don't even want to see her face, but if I must, better it be in the presence of company where I can't throw anything at her.

All I did was move out of one hell and into the other. The only difference is that now, after a long day at work, instead of returning home to a violent father, I'm returning to an abhorrent wife. And in a moment, the tiny bit of control that only hours ago I thought I had seized, is ripped from my fingers. But I'm taking it back. I will not be tormented in my own home.

* * *

 **A/N: Beatrice! Oh my god, right? Lol Thanks so much for your reviews on the last chapter guys, and I can't wait to read what you think about the latest developments :) Also, if you're looking for something to read, thanks to my lovely Beta, Bamberlee, I've recently been hooked on 'The Training" by ClubLulu333. If you're into Eric stories, it is a must read ;)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

 **TRIS  
**  
Feeling like a champion, I cross my legs and rest them up on the center table in the living room. Cleaning the entire house was a task, but I managed to get it all done. I had thought of leaving it as is and just let Tobias do it since he's still pretending to be Abnegation husband of the year, but ultimately boredom got the best of me.

The leaders decided that I should be relieved for the latter part of my initiation so that I might attend to my home. I'm sure Marcus had plenty to do with that. I imagine if it were up to him, no woman would ever be seen outside of a kitchen or a bedroom, or with a productive thought. I don't know how he's gotten by since his wife passed away all those years ago. I doubt he's even able to do anything for himself.

I relax and sink deep into the sofa as I wait for my _beloved_ husband to come home. I just can't wait to hear about his day, but I'm sure it only got worse after his salted breakfast. I was genuinely surprised by his ability to choke it all down with a straight face. I wonder if he was able to do the same with the raw potato soup I made him for lunch. I almost felt guilty as I dined on my overly cheesy spaghetti and fresh garden salad. Almost.

Even _if_ the horrible food wasn't enough to irk him, I do feel victorious when I imagine him ripping his clothes off and scratching his balls in front of his father and mine. If he was able to withstand _that_ , then breaking him might be a lot harder than I thought.

I gather I'll find out soon enough when I hear keys jingling frantically outside. I stand to my feet and I smile just as Tobias gets the door open. Hurriedly, he walks inside the house.

"How was your day, darling?" I ask sweetly. Tobias doesn't answer me. He walks right past me and heads toward the stairs. He doesn't smile. In fact, he looks furious. "Tobias, is everything ok?" I ask him innocently, just like he had asked me once before.

Tobias turns around and points a rigid finger at me and says, "You listen to me, Beatrice. I am going upstairs to take a shower. I'll deal with you later." Every muscle in his face is twisted in a million different directions as he scowls at me. And given his tone and the way his eyes glare at mine, I know he's finally caught up. No more need for my ruse then.

I laugh and I laugh loudly. "Oh, you'll deal with me? And how exactly do you plan on doing _that_? I'm _itching_ to know," I tease.

Red with rage, Tobias lets out a loud and heavy breath before he says, "Beatrice, please. I had a hard day and I'd rather not do this with you right now." He turns and resumes walking up the stairs.

"Fine," I cross my arms and say. But insistent upon pestering him further, I add, "I guess I'll just start making dinner then."

"No!" Tobias yells as he spins around again. And then he smiles rudely. "You know what? As a matter of fact I've been invited over for dinner by Councillor Taylor. So you can go ahead and make dinner for yourself."

My eyebrows pinch together suddenly. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me."

"Why would he do that?" I ask, slightly bothered. In Abnegation, it's not typical to have dinner outside the house so soon after the wedding. But there's something even more unusual. "And why did he just invite _you_?"

"I don't know why, but he did. So you'll be eating alone tonight," Tobias says tartly, finally putting aside his rehearsed Abnegation and using a tone of voice that should make me know better than to argue with him. Of course I ignore it.

"No, I'm not. You're taking me with you," I snap back. Truthfully, I don't really care to go. I'm just insisting because I know he doesn't want me to. Every day I spend in this house I discover more and more the depths of my dauntlessness.

"And why would I do _that?_ " he counters.

"Because I'll show up either way. Either you take me or I'll make you sorry that you didn't."

Tobias stands stiff in the middle of the stairwell, probably pondering all the possible ways that I could embarrass him tonight. Strangely enough he doesn't threaten me or my family in order to make me behave. He must have realized by now that whatever leverage he thought he had is now null and void.

"Fine," he eventually scowls. "Get dressed."

* * *

Side by side, Tobias and I walk into Councillor Taylor's home and we're greeted by him, his wife, and his two daughters. Tobias wears a small but genuine smile at the sight of them all, like he really _is_ glad to be here. He must be hungry. Poor thing.

"I am _so_ happy you could make it," Mrs. Taylor says to us with a polite bow. "The girls and I were so thrilled to hear that you'd be coming over. It's been so long since we've enjoyed the company of guests."

Smiling at his wife, Councillor Taylor playfully says, "Now, now, Tamar. Let's not have the guests think that absolutely no one wants to visit us." She turns pink when he smiles at her. "That's most certainly not the case," he then says to us kindly. Councillor Taylor is a handsome man, so much so that even when dully dressed in Abnegation grey, he stands out. Like Tobias, I suppose.

I smile shyly at the couple as they welcome us into the dining room that's identical to our own. I find their interactions refreshing. It's much unlike the stiff and rehearsed Abnegation behaviour I've become so accustomed to seeing. They look so comfortable with one another. I don't think I've ever even seen my own parents openly behave this way.

"Beatrice, I believe you know my daughters, Emily and Johanna," Mrs. Taylor then says to me as she presents the two teenage girls standing before me. I nod and smile. Emily I'm familiar with. She's a year older than I am and I believe she works at the City Hall as a secretary. Johanna, however, is only fourteen years old. I don't believe I've ever spoken to her before.

Both girls are tall and elegant, almost the same height, although Emily is taller by a few inches. Both carry their mother's dark hair and brown eyes. They almost look like twins and most certainly not three years apart.

I see Emily as she smiles shyly at Tobias but doesn't care to look at me even once. I instinctively stand between them as if I could somehow interrupt their view of one another, and with a smile I say, "Thank you again for having us. My _husband_ and I are truly glad we could be here."

Emily seems to catch her mistake and immediately her eyes open wide. "Oh, no. The pleasure is all ours Mrs. Eaton," she says, and I realize she probably meant no disrespect. I can't say I blame her. Tobias _is_ beautiful. A phoney… but beautiful none the less. I could barely keep my own eyes off him at dinner and then again at our wedding. And then it suddenly hits me that it's the first time I've been referred to by my married name. My heart sinks as it ponders the reality that I am no longer Beatrice Prior.

"Let's all get seated, shall we?" Councillor Taylor says with a smile, unaware of his daughter's misdemeanour. I smile hesitantly at Emily as she gestures us to our seats. I'm not sure how I feel about her… or why exactly I feel that way.

Before I take my seat, I ask, "Do you need some help in serving dinner?" It would be rude not to offer.

"Most certainly not," Councillor Taylor says kindly. "You are our guests tonight. Let us serve you."

I smile. "Thank you, Councillor Taylor."

"Please, call me Noah," he says to me while taking his seat. "I had congratulated Tobias earlier today on your matrimony. I'm truly sorry I couldn't see you after the wedding. There were so many members there to support you that I thought it selfish to steal you away for myself. It's why I invited you both over for dinner so that my family and I could get a chance to congratulate you properly."

My smile falters for a moment, just long enough for Tobias to notice. He passes a quick smirk in my direction, confirming the only just now drawn suspicion that I was always invited. He told me that I couldn't come knowing that I'd be strongly inclined to do the exact opposite. But how could he have possibly known that?

I'm tempted to throw something at him when Mrs. Taylor asks, "Would either of you like a glass of water?"

 _I sure would_ , I think. _I would like a tall pitcher of boiling water. I'd pour it right over Tobias'-_

"I'll get it!" Emily eagerly volunteers before Tobias and I could even answer, interrupting my thoughts. When she returns, she sets both glasses of water on the table, but she's careful to place mine first. I suppose that is her peace offering.

Mrs. Taylor and her daughters then begin to bring the food from the kitchen, leaving just me, Tobias and Noah at the table. Still angry, I avoid looking at Tobias at all costs. My eyes dart between the kitchen, the food, my feet, my hands, anywhere but at _him_.

I'm glad when the table is filled and everyone is seated, ready to eat.

Laid out on the dinner table is a large bowl of peas, another filled with rice and a third bowl of baked chicken. It's a simple meal, but refreshing. It reminds me of eating at home with my parents and my brother, and then I'm suddenly haunted by the dismal feeling of nostalgia. But I shake the thoughts away. My parents and I will be back together soon anyways, as soon as Tobias reports my less than cooperative behaviour to his father. I reckon that being any day now.

"Beatrice," Mrs. Taylor whispers, and I notice her passing me the bowl of peas. I pour some out into my plate before passing it to my right. Tobias' fingers brush against my own when he takes the bowl from me and I don't hesitate to pull my fingers away. With goosebumps filling every inch of my arm, I quickly turn away from him to receive the bowl of rice to my left.

I feel a twinge of self-disgust. I hate that my body still reacts every time he touches me or comes near me. Given that I know who he is now, that feeling should be long gone. So I push it away, refusing to acknowledge it. I continue to pass the food around, being careful to not touch Tobias again.

When everyone is served, Councillor Taylor says a short prayer and then we all quietly begin to eat. Strangely, Tobias is the first to speak. "This meal is absolutely delightful," he says. I find he is much more outspoken when he isn't around his father.

Councillor Taylor, or Noah as he prefers to be called, smiles and says, "Emily volunteered to make dinner tonight and she did a wonderful job."

"Maybe you could exchange recipes with Beatrice," Tobias says to Emily. I almost choke. It's chicken and peas, not some overly sophisticated Erudite dish. And I know he knows that the peas are undercooked. I'm sure everybody around this table knows it.

"Of course, Tobias," Emily says, her cheeks flushing when she says his name.

"Thank you," he replies with a small sigh of relief, and I suddenly want to stab him with my fork. Is he _trying_ to make me look stupid?! Like I don't know how to cook? I mean, the last two meals I made for him were absolutely atrocious, but I know that he knows that I can cook. Unless… he really didn't enjoy the meal I made when he and Marcus came over for dinner before the wedding.

But then again why do I even care? It shouldn't matter what he thinks of me _or_ my cooking. Yet, even so, I feel extremely irritated. Granted, that may be because I can't seem to get past Emily Taylor's inability to keep whatever sentiments she may have for Tobias to herself. I may not like him, but he _is_ my husband. And her constant flushing is borderline disrespectful.

"I'd love to exchange recipes sometime, but I suppose a little later on," I levelly say. "We're still adjusting to our new home."

"Oh, of course," Emily says before turning her eyes back to her plate. It seems that she is in need of constant reminders that Tobias is not a man she can ogle at.

"Or maybe you could just pass it to me at work sometime," Tobias says, reopening the dreadful conversation that I only just now closed. "I'd love to have these peas sometime again soon."

"That's no problem at all, Tobias," Emily replies, her cheeks turning pink again.

 _Are you kidding me?! Am I the only one seeing this?!_

Vigorously chewing on the hard peas, I pass a look at Johanna who is pouting questioningly at her sister who is staring dreamily at Tobias, but of course she says nothing. In Abnegation, children aren't supposed to speak at the dinner table unless their parents ask them a direct question. And her parents are too busy chewing that they don't seem to notice what's happening right in front of their eyes.

Johanna returns to her meal when she sees me looking at her, and then so does Emily. I don't look at Tobias but in the corner of my eye I can see the satisfied grin on his face. In that moment I'm certain; he _meant_ to provoke me.

I simmer in my seat, finishing my meal in silence as Mr. and Mrs. Taylor exchange small talk with Tobias, certain that if I say even just one word, my tone would make our hosts gravely uncomfortable. But my problem is not with them, or even with Emily, but with _him_. And the worst part is I can't do a damn thing about it.

I want to confront him about tonight and his little spectacle with Emily. But I'm also completely aware that I'd look like an idiot for doing so. I mean, although we're married, it's not like we're _together,_ or can even stand to be in the same room with one another. But on the other hand, he can't expect me to sit by and just idly look on as random teenage girls flirt tentatively with him, especially in public. That's very different from horrible meals and itchy clothes, especially in Abnegation. Although, he tolerating that sort of inappropriate behaviour would only speak poorly of _his_ character, not mine.

I suppose it upsets me because I don't ever want to be the quiet, compliant wife who has no complaints, no feelings, no thoughts of her own. Or maybe I'm mad because he outplayed me, and he did so without much effort. But the mistake was mine. I didn't expect him to fight fire with fire.

I'll be sure to not make that mistake again.

Not before long, we're all done eating, and then everyone moves together to help clean up. The Taylors all insist that we let them do it, but just to keep myself busy and my mind focused on anything but on Tobias Eaton, I wash and rewash every dirty plate I get my hands on. Then when the kitchen is in order, and all has been said, the Taylors bid us farewell.

In that moment I feel nauseous, suddenly wishing there was something else to wash. I hate to admit it, but I'm not ready to be alone with Tobias. I still can't figure out what would be the most appropriate response to his behaviour.

Kindly, the Taylors escort us to the door. I practically drag my feet, walking hesitantly, dreading the awkwardness of a fifteen minute walk home with Tobias. But it's dark outside already so it would be unwise to go off on my own or to fall too far behind.

I loathe the fact that even now he maintains the upper hand.

Without a word, we both step off the porch and onto the sidewalk, away from the safety of the Taylors' home. Then, staring straight ahead, Tobias walks at a steady pace, an annoying pace. It's just quick enough to make it obvious that I'm trying to keep up with him. I expect him to gloat and rub tonight's victory in my face, but when during the walk home he says nothing at all, I figure it best to do the same. If a word war were to begin, I'd have no ammo, and I'd be inclined to strangle him out of sheer frustration.

I'm still miffed when we get to the house, but relieved. And I'm about to head up the stairs where I no longer have to see him when Tobias suddenly steps in front of me, essentially blocking my path. I scoff at his arrogance, then size him up with my eyes.

With a hard expression, Tobias steps eerily close and leans down to match my height when he sees that I won't back down. I can feel his breath on my forehead and there's a shock that travels from my face to my neck and to my arms and feet when he exhales, making the hair on my body stand up.

"What did you learn tonight, Beatrice?" he says gravely, quietly. I suppose this is where he gloats.

"Get out of my way, Tobias," I reply flatly. "I have no idea what you're talking about." I figure pretending like this evening's events never bothered me in the least is the only way I can walk away with my dignity.

Tobias looks at me in disbelief for a moment and then he laughs. "Oh really?" He says. "Let me do you a favour and spell it out for you then. You see that stunt you pulled today? Know that I have just as much opportunities as you have to make your life miserable. So tread carefully."

My face wrinkles in disgust. "Are you threatening me?"

"I'm advising you," he says levelly. "It wouldn't be in your best interest to aggravate me, Beatrice. And this," Tobias says as he slowly lifts his shirt, revealing the small patches of red, inflamed skin on his stomach, "this is aggravating."

My lips part just a little at the sight of his bare skin, his form. Tobias appears lean when his body is drowned in Abnegation grey, but etched on his stomach are the hard lines of muscle. Against my will, I stare for far too long and my head twists to the side as my eyes catch sight of several small scars that curve around into his back. But too quickly Tobias drops his shirt and I'm unexpectedly disappointed.

"Feel free to try me again, but know that I can do a whole lot more than make you feel stupid," he says darkly. "You'd best abandon whatever it is that you're trying to accomplish. You're mine forever, so you might as well make friends with it." His face is hard, unreadable. Not waiting for me to reply, Tobias steps out of my way and says, " _Now_ you may go upstairs."

He stands to the side, his eyes fixed on mine. I don't break eye contact and I don't shrink under his gaze. But instead of reciting a pitiful comeback or simply cursing at him, I stay quiet. I count my loss as I take the first step upwards, stunned, pissed off, and a little bit of something else that I can't quite name. I don't look back but I can feel Tobias' eyes on me until I'm at the very top. It sends a chill down my spine.

I was hoping that he'd drop the selfless act, but I never expected it to happen like _this_ or that I'd feel this way when it did. I imagine he's feeling proud of himself, having successfully manipulated me the way he did. It appears his father taught him well, and that thought only sends a shiver through my body, reminding me of my dreams from the night before.

But I tuck myself in bed, angry and unafraid of my dreams, because one day this living nightmare will all be over. Whenever Marcus learns of what is happening, or whenever I simply can't take it anymore, I'll leave and then my parents and I will be together again. But I do promise myself to ride it out until the very last moment, giving my parents every normal Abnegation day that I can.

So just for tonight it takes nothing from me to let him think that he's won; not while knowing that I will be the one who wins when I never again have to see the likes of Tobias Eaton.

* * *

 **A/N: So… You guys are amazing! Thanks so much for your continued support with this story and for your reviews on the last chapter. I have never gotten that many reviews on any single chapter on any story that I've ever posted. And to have gotten to 100 reviews with only 6 chapters really was just the highlight of my week. I'm so glad and I appreciate it so much that you guys are enjoying this story :) A special thank you to my lovely beta Bamberlee for her amazing ideas and her contribution to this week's chapter, and also for being my 100** **th** **reviewer! Lol**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

 **TOBIAS**

I wake long before Beatrice does. It's a habit I've acquired in the past few days. She's been extra sour since our dinner at the Taylors' and I've taken every possible measure to avoid her. It would seem as though she hates being outsmarted.

I find that this Abnegation-born girl is proud like the Erudite and brazen like the Dauntless. But even the wildest beast can be tamed when you know what makes it tick.

Beatrice likes to be in control, which is how I knew that trying to force her to go to dinner would ultimately have the opposite effect. And then I'd end up looking like an idiot if I had shown up alone or had not shown up at all. She also hates being disregarded, which is how I knew that even though she has no positive feelings for me whatsoever, Emily's shy flirting would grievously upset her.

Emily is the only girl who has ever shown interest in me, and I don't usually take her on, but I did that night only because I wanted to give Beatrice a taste of her own medicine. It was the perfect opportunity to get back at her. We were indoors and away from wandering eyes, and Emily's parents were too busy trying to get down the difficult peas to notice what was happening right at their own dinner table.

I will admit that it had felt good at first, watching Beatrice keep quiet knowing that she was boiling inside, watching her try to keep up with me on the walk home, and then having nothing to say as she walked up the stairs and to _her_ bedroom. But as I heard the sound of the door slam shut, I felt empty and bitter, ashamed that I had even been proud of my vindictive behaviour.

Although there's a part of me that has always longed for revenge and emancipation, another part of me feels gravely uncomfortable with it. My Dauntless side is not one that I've ever entertained. It's not one that I _can_ entertain. Not if I want to fit in here. And to be honest, it's not who I am. It's not who I want to be. But Beatrice constantly pushes me, practically begging me to lash out. Truth is, I don't trust myself around her, so I keep her at arm's length. I walk left when she goes right. I stay down when she goes up.

But all that does is make me feel uncomfortable in my own home. I have nowhere to go, no one to turn to. I dare not go to Marcus, not while knowing what his advice will be. "It's for her own good," he'll say. Honestly, I can't help but wonder if he forced me to marry Beatrice as some sick form of torture, or 'grooming'. I had never planned on getting married for the very reason that I was well aware of the dark areas that lurked inside me. Maybe it was always Marcus' plan to give it a reason to manifest. He claims to have been unaware of Beatrice's nature, but it would be a stupid thing to trust my father.

I remember that thought as I remove all evidence of misery from my face and I step into Marcus' office. I'm surprised to find that he's not alone. Several other councillors, including Noah Taylor and Andrew Prior, sit around the table. They all quiet down when I enter and the atmosphere feels thick all of a sudden.

"I'm sorry. I never meant to intrude," I say as I turn back around.

"No, Tobias. Please come in," Andrew Prior says as he stands and gestures towards an empty seat. "There are no secrets among us."

"Well the boy will eventually come across it anyways, so it makes no sense to hide it from him," Noah adds.

My eyebrows furrow in confusion as I slowly take a seat at the table of councillors. "What's going on?" I ask.

Reaching across, my father hands me a newspaper article with the title _'Trouble in Paradise?'_

It reads, _'It would appear so. There are now confirmed reports that the daughter of Abnegation Councillor Andrew Prior, Beatrice Prior, is now Beatrice Eaton, married to the son of Marcus Eaton. The two were wed a week ago on Abnegation grounds. Suspicion began to brew among the faction members since the two were never known to have undergone the appropriate period of Abnegation courting. And stranger still, they were wed even before Beatrice had completed her initiation. One has to wonder if there is a reason the young girl was fleeing her home, especially so soon after her brother, Caleb Prior, had defected. The exodus of the children of this Abnegation leader cannot be ignored or attributed to coincidence. Andrew Prior has painted a picture of perfection to his faction, but now even they question his integrity. Why else would the children of such an important man decide to prematurely flee his home? It is matters like these that call into question the soundness of Abnegation's values and teachings. An anonymous source has suggested that a disturbed and abusive upbringing might be to blame. It would be no surprise to us all considering previous reports of abuse in Abnegation homes.'_

Clenching my jaw, completely uneasy, I stop reading. I already know what previous reports they're referring to and I'd rather not read about it.

Cold creeps up my spine when I feel Andrew Prior's eyes on me. I will admit that for a short second a small part of me wondered if any of this was true. It would certainly explain why Beatrice is so hot tempered. Maybe that's why she hates me. Maybe she thinks I'll hurt her like her father did. And he appears to be a gentle man, but many would say the same about Marcus. But then I set the paper back on the table and when I look up into Andrew's eyes I see nothing but pain in them. And I remember the kind way in which he and Natalie bid us farewell at the wedding. He would never hurt Beatrice. He's a good man and he doesn't deserve this.

"We need to put an end to this," I roughly say, almost slamming my hand into the table when I set it down. "It's one thing to accuse us of withholding luxuries and goods, but now they're attacking our character and they're making it personal."

"And what exactly do you suggest we do, Tobias?" Noah asks. "Protest?" He shakes his head. "There is no way to respond without compromising who we are."

My mouth twitches but I don't respond. Moments like these are why I am hesitant to become an official part of this council. I just don't see things the way they do. Their 'sit down and do nothing' attitude is why nothing ever changes. The Erudite have been attacking us for months now and nothing has ever been done about it.

"I'm not saying we retaliate," I say. "We should release an article of our own, speak to our people, let them know that these accusations are false."

"I would hope that every member of this faction would know that these allegations are false without being told," Andrew says softly, pain in his voice.

"They do, Mr. Prior," I say sternly as I look into his eyes. "Most likely there is no anonymous source. It's just a ploy used to make us question each other, divide us. Because if we're divided, we're vulnerable to whatever they throw at us."

The councillors all look at each other as they consider my opinion. I've never outrightly disagreed with them before, so it takes me by surprise when one of them says, "We will consider having an open meeting with the rest of the faction. And maybe we will consider reaching out to the rest of the city as well. But if this is to be done, it is neither to retaliate nor to vindicate ourselves, but rather to restore whatever faith that might have been lost in this government."

They all nod as they rise and slowly exit the room when my father calls an end to the meeting. When everyone has left he stands in front of me. He stares at me for a while before setting a hand on my shoulder.

"Very good, Tobias. You're learning how to lead," he says quietly, leaving me stunned. In all my life my father has never complimented me once. Not once.

He doesn't wait for me to respond before his hand slips away and he walks out the door. I appreciate that, since I wouldn't know what to say otherwise. I thought he'd consider my opinions as insolence, but I gather it doesn't bother him as long as I get everyone else to see it my way. I'd say that I don't even know where the sudden nerve to open my mouth ever came from, but that would be a lie.

It's Beatrice. She frustrated me to the point where I had to shelf my Abnegation. I had to fight back. And even now my blood is still warm. As much as I had tried not to, I brought my domestic problems with me to work. But I rest easy, glad that at least it worked out in my favour.

The smile on my face comes easy, but I don't let it linger. It would be foolish to dwell on the evanescent praises of my father. And I only realize this now, after having chased it for so long.

The room is quiet when everyone leaves, so I spin around the minute I hear footsteps coming towards me. Andrew Prior walks in and closes the door behind him. Solemnly he steps up to me and asks, "How is she, Tobias?"

My heart skips a beat. I'm sure he means Beatrice and I don't know what to say to him. I can't tell him that his daughter is vile and selfish and has made my life a living hell ever since our blessed wedding day. "She's doing just fine, Mr. Prior," I graciously lie.

He nods and then looks at the floor. "Her mother worries often. We know that this must be really difficult for you both. I'm sure neither of you wanted this," he says. "If it ever becomes too much for either of you, don't hesitate to let us know. We know the faction isn't open to divorce, and then there's the matter of your father, so Natalie and I would take Beatrice and we'd live factionless."

I gasp as I consider the tremendous amount of love that the Priors have for their daughter. They would truly give up everything if it meant that she would be happier. I don't tell him, but knowing that my father's threats are empty, I firmly say, "I assure you, Mr. Prior, it won't ever come to that."

He smiles a small smile and says, "Beatrice has always been a strong one. I know that she can be quite testing at times, but she really is a wonderful girl. She is so special… like her mother."

Andrew's eyes fill with pride and love and yearning, and it makes me wonder if we're even talking about the same person. From what I've seen, Beatrice is nothing like her mother. I'm not sure the Prior's know their daughter's true nature. But it's not hard to understand why they don't. When I first laid eyes on Beatrice all I saw was beauty and vigour.

I had anticipated that it would take some time for her to warm up to me, but I thought eventually we would easily come together as man and wife. After all, I couldn't have been the only one who had felt that spark when our lips touched on our wedding day. But I obviously expected too much because I never saw _this_ coming; this animosity emanating from her on a daily basis.

Andrew picks up the crumpled article off the table and says, "Seeing this will upset her so much."

"If it means anything, Mr Prior, I don't believe a single word of it. I know you would never hurt Beatrice," I say as his face sinks.

"Thank you, Tobias. It does mean a lot to me." He presses a hand into my shoulder and says, "I know much of the Erudite. So you're not wrong to want to stop this before it becomes irremediable." Setting the paper back on the table, he turns and walks toward the door. Before opening it, he brokenly says, "Please give Beatrice our love," and then he walks out.

I shake my head and I feel my heart sink in my chest when I imagine what they must be feeling. But then I become angry at the thought of Beatrice. Her parents are so worried about her and she hasn't even been out to see them. They deserve better than that.

I'll always be grateful to Natalie Prior and for all that she has done and has tried to do for me. She was the only person to ever figure out that Marcus was abusing me. She wanted to report it but I begged her not to get involved, not knowing what Marcus would do to her if he had ever found out that she had said something. So she kept quiet, but she would always check up on me, making sure that I was ok.

When it was time for me to choose, Natalie pleaded with me to switch factions. She insisted that I get away from Marcus. But then the results of my aptitude test came in, and she told me that wherever I went, I would face danger. I told her that I stayed for my safety, but the truth is I stayed because I was hoping that my father would be proud of me if I came home and that he'd finally see me as a man. Of course I learned the hard way that even as an adult, Marcus saw it fit to bruise me.

I made Natalie promise not to tell anyone, and she's kept that promise. I think it's safe to say that she hasn't even told her own daughter, even when that same daughter was forced to be my wife. Even now she checks up on me often, insisting that I'll make a good leader, encouraging me to stay strong. If there ever was an angel in human form, her name is Natalie Prior.

I have yet to understand how her daughter could be so selfish. How could such a challenging girl have come from the likes of Andrew and Natalie Prior? But maybe Natalie knows. She had whispered _'patience'_ in my ear when she hugged me goodbye at the wedding. Maybe it was a plea. Maybe she wanted me to do her a kindness the way she so often did for me.

In that moment I decide that I'll try again, really try again, to make this marriage with Beatrice work. I will do it for Natalie, the woman who was like a mother to me when I had none. I'll do it for the unjustly doused spark that I had felt the very first time I felt Beatrice's fingertips brush against my own. And if she still insists on refusing to at least be civil, then that's her choice to make, but I won't stay quiet about it. I'll let her know, in no uncertain terms, just how infuriating she is. And at that point, if she chooses to leave, then at least I'll know for sure that I was wrong, and that there was never anything there. She was never the person I thought she was.

Although, I will say, knowing that I was wrong would bring me little comfort if she were to leave. Because as much as I hate to admit it, as much as I don't understand it, as difficult as Beatrice is, a part of me prays that I'm not wrong.

* * *

 **A/N: And that's chapter 8 guys! Hope you enjoyed it :) A lot of you have asked questions about the war, and also about when Tris and Tobias are gonna finally** **talk to each other. All I'm gonna say is that they won't be fighting for the whole story, at least not against each other ;)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

 **TRIS**

I wake up feeling worse than I did the first day I woke up in this bed.

It has been more than two weeks since the wedding and I can count on one hand the amount of times I've said a single word to Tobias or have even bothered to look in his direction. Most days I avoid him like the plague. On the other hand, he seems to have reconnected with his phony Abnegation, but I haven't forgotten who he is. All the breakfasts and dinners and shallow good mornings in the world couldn't make me forget.

Considering that Marcus has never dropped by just to throw threats around, I can only assume that Tobias hasn't yet told him about our 'domestic issues'. I'm starting to think he never will, since being married to me is such a plus. More than likely their plan is working and he's gained popularity among the councillors since our wedding. And with the election two years away, Tobias seems determined to make this marriage last, at least until he's in power.

All in all, I think I might be stuck with him.

The thought is as mentally draining as it is utterly depressing and without even the least bit of motivation, I force myself to get out of bed. Lazily, I slip my feet into my shoes, get dressed and aimlessly wander down the stairs. To my unfortunate surprise, Tobias is still in the kitchen when I get down there.

Since all my days seem to blend into one, I had completely forgotten that today was a Saturday.

"Good morning," Tobias says roughly from across the table, almost as if he doesn't want to. As usual, I don't answer him. I'd much rather pretend that he weren't there. I walk over to the fridge to peep inside when Tobias says, "There's fruit and juice on the table. And I left you half the bread."

I roll my eyes and turn to look at him. "Seriously?" I ask flatly. "We're playing Mr. Nice Guy again? I thought we were past that. Don't you _ever_ get tired?"

Tobias' face is hard but he doesn't look up at me. I struggle to quell the anger inside me, reminding myself that he isn't worth it. It _is_ frustrating though, the way he switches on and off like he's not sure what to do with himself.

"And why do _you_ get to decide what I eat for breakfast today?" I say a little louder than I had actually intended to.

"Really?" Tobias asks, looking up this time. "Tell me something, Beatrice. Why do you try to pick a fight about _everything?_ "

His question angers me to my core. It's a testament to his arrogance, assuming that his self-given right to force me to be civil has somehow been warranted. "I'm not _trying_ to pick a fight," I lie. "I just asked you a question. A very valid one."

Looking exasperated, Tobias simply shakes his head and returns to his breakfast.

I stand stiff for a minute and just look at him, wishing I could cut him into pieces with my eyes. It baffles me how a human being could be so narcissistic, and a member of Abnegation at that. I once thought that I was the sole intruder in this faction, but little did I know that our very leader himself and his spawn were way ahead of me and had already taken the cake.

"Eat whatever you want, Beatrice," Tobias says, as if I needed his permission, his voice laced with irritation.

I'm tempted to take my food upstairs and eat in my bedroom, but refusing to feel like I'm an unwelcome intruder in _his_ house, I grab some milk and cereal and sit at the opposite end of the table.

"I wanted to talk to you about our rations," Tobias says after about five minutes of sweet silence. I roll my eyes. I preferred it when he wasn't speaking to me and avoiding me at every cost. "As a two person household we don't get as many provisions as bigger families. So it would be nice if you would be considerate of that fact," he adds.

I pinch my eyebrows together and my hand falls flat on the table. "What are you talking about?"

He sets down his fork less than gently beside his plate. "Just please be mindful when you use the supplies. I'd hate to have to go back and request more. Things are already bad for the faction as is."

"For example?" I drag out the words, urging him to elaborate. I am as curious as I am offended. Since birth I've been painstakingly trained to not waste things.

"For example," Tobias says, gritting his teeth, "Do you really need to use that much toilet paper?"

My eyes open wide with disbelief, and unable to further bury my irritation, I scoff loudly and immediately raise my voice when I say, "You may not know this, Tobias, but unlike you I have a _vagina_ ," I stress the word.

"I don't need to hear this," Tobias says under his breath, barely loud enough for me to hear.

"And that vagina, unlike the useless sack of meat that dangles below your waist," I continue, "undergoes processes that require generous use of toilet paper. I know that we have not consummated this marriage, but I'm almost sure there was a class about that in Upper Levels."

Forgetting about his meal, Tobias practically throws his arms in the air and tersely says, "Beatrice, there are rules and guidelines for a reason."

"Have you ever noticed that all those rules are made my men?" I ask cheekily. "Why are all the councillors men, Tobias? And do you really think that they have any idea how much toilet paper a _woman_ would need in a month?" Tobias holds his head between both hands and breaths heavily as his fingers dig into his hair. "Yeah. I didn't think so," I rebut his silent answer.

"Regardless," he scowls, lifting his head. "We're only two weeks into the month and we've already been through more than half our supply."

"Well let's be glad that it only happens once a month then," I say, almost laughing. "Or all the women in this faction would be out picking an assorted selection of suitable leaves."

"None of the other councillors' wives have ever complained," Tobias says in a deep voice, shaking his head at me as if he were my disappointed father.

"But of course they don't," I snap back pointedly. I quickly realize that having this conversation will only aggravate me further, so I push myself up from my seat, not caring to move my bowl from the table. "I'm not hungry anymore," I say before I make a beeline for the front door, and the second I'm out of it, I slam it shut behind me.

I walk forcefully with my face set, as I firmly stomp each foot into the ground with a purpose. But only until I realize that I'm actually headed nowhere. I've nowhere to go.

I then slow my pace, walking aimlessly between the rows and rows of grey houses, knowing exactly where I'd rather be and who I long to see. But the promise of staying with Tobias for as long as I can means that I'd have to avoid _them_ for as long as possible, because if my mother ever caught sight of me she would see it in my eyes, and she would take me away from this place. But then avoiding them means that I'm alone with no one to talk to, no one to counsel me.

I question how much longer I'll last in this marriage when the only way I can stomach being alone with Tobias is to fight him. I don't want to be a coward and give in to him, but I'm just as much a coward if I leave. Either way, I'm not sure I can take much more. Being in that house is like a slow, agonizing death. And it's not even just Tobias and Marcus. It's being _here_ … in Abnegation.

Every day it becomes clearer to me that I don't belong here. After all, it shouldn't matter to me what Tobias' intentions are. I should be able to at least have a conversation with him without wanting to smack him. Yet here I am, unhappy to the point of misery, to the point of aimless anger. But if I were to be completely honest with myself, I'd admit that I'm angrier at _me_ than I am at _him_. Sure, he role played. He charmed me at my core where I conjured a peculiar feeling of safety in marrying him. But it should not have mattered that I felt hurt. My attitude should not have changed when I found out he was deceiving me. I've failed in the worst way and I'll keep failing because I am not blindly subservient like those who have earned their grey robes.

Every day I wake up and I feel like I'm intruding on someone else's life. I wake up in a faction that I'm inherently too selfish to emulate, married to a husband who's not mine, and wearing clothes that are much too large against my thin frame. The only thing that's undeniably mine is my mind. As luck would have it, that's the root of all my problems.

As I walk, I suddenly remember the volunteer groups that head out on Saturday mornings. I've never been good at volunteering, but at least it would give me something to do. Maybe I could talk to Susan and even find some comfort in our shallow conversations.

I'm sure to steer clear of my mother's volunteer group. Though I'm tempted to think she wouldn't recognize me if she saw me. Not the dark, tired and blotchy eyes, but the wounded, miserable soul. I cried all night the day Tobias dared to tell me that my father had sent his love. I know it was my decision to not see my parents but it still hurt. Even more so because _he_ gets to see them and I don't.

I walk faster now against the broken sidewalk and head out into the factionless sector that sits just outside the Abnegation boundary. Mrs. Taylor's group tends to start there. I'm not exactly thrilled that I might run into Emily, but I do want to see Susan. She is the closest thing I have to a friend, after all.

We know absolutely nothing of consequence about each other, despite having known each other our whole lives. But it's not the strangest thing. It's hard to form real friendships in Abnegation because it's impossible to do so when no one feels like they can accept help or talk about themselves. Every preoccupation is buried deep beneath layers and layers of grey.

I find the group not before long, and thankfully Susan is the one to see me before anyone else does. A small number of Abnegation initiates, herself included, are slouched by the side of the road planting flowers. Susan springs to her feet and her eyes open wide at the sight of me. I've been relieved of the remainder of my initiation, so she isn't expecting me.

"Beatrice!" she says rather excitedly as she comes toward me. "It's so nice to see you." Her smile is wide and honest. I'm glad to see it. I remember my father saying that she was broken up after Caleb left. "I wasn't expecting to see you around just yet," she adds.

I smile. "I'm supposed to be at home but… I thought I would get out for a while, join a group for the morning." My voice rises at the end, making it sound like a question.

"I'm sure Tobias won't mind that you stepped out to volunteer when your chores were completed," Susan says, not impolitely. "You're welcome to join me and the other initiates. We still have a few more to plant before we distribute the clothing."

"Of course," I answer.

Together Susan and I walk up a little farther than we should, each with a pot of soil and seeds in our hands. I'm glad when she stops around a corner, just outside everyone else's line of sight. I appreciate the gesture, though unintentional on her part. I hadn't missed the transfers looking at me with curiosity. I'd advise them to lose it if given the chance.

Susan stoops down gracefully and then sets her container of seeds to her left. I watch the way she expertly manoeuvres her surroundings, turning over the soil with the small trowel. She could belong in Amity just as easily.

I follow her lead, and surprisingly I enjoy it as we add just a little bit of beauty to the broken parts of our city. Although not much is said between us, there's something comforting about being outside in the quiet, together, planting seeds. It's one of the few times that I come to appreciate Abnegation quietness.

"I'm really happy for you, Beatrice," Susan says when she's done planting. She pats the soil over her seeds. "I thought for sure I'd be married before you." She smiles shyly.

"You did?" I ask, curious. Although I've always known that Susan was interested in my brother, she's never openly said it.

She nods and then hangs her head. "I always thought we would be sisters," she says softly. "I guess he didn't feel the same way."

Although I'm not supposed to, I place my hand gently over her own. Susan looks up, surprised at the sudden contact. "We can still be sisters, Susan," I say, and she tries to hold back a smile and fails. Shyly, she looks away.

"Thank you, Beatrice," she whispers serenely. I'd say it's the most sincere and unabnegation moment we've ever shared together. I'm glad that I could offer her some comfort, especially since the past few moments with her have somehow made me forget the horrible details of my life.

"I _was_ surprised though…," she then says. "When I heard about the wedding. I didn't even know you two were courting." Her voice is strong, comfortable. Stunned, I push back a little, resting my weight on my ankles. Susan catches my surprise at her bluntness. "I'm sorry. It's none of my business," she says quickly, returning her eyes to the soil.

"It's ok," I say, reassuring her. "It wasn't really spoken of." I shrug.

Susan nods in understanding, but seems determined to not say another word as she silently digs a second hole into the ground. I smile as I think about what she might be thinking. She's always been so painfully Abnegation that that one minute of brashness must have her feeling sinful. She, however, sees my smile and interprets it to come from somewhere else. "Gardening always cheers me up too. You could always join our group when you have time," she says, sounding uneasy.

"Huh?" I ask, not understanding the concern in her eyes.

"I'm really sorry about the article, Beatrice," she says as she shakes her head slowly.

"What article?" I ask, having no idea what she's talking about.

Susan slowly stands to her feet as she says, "The one about your wedding… and your father. It was released a few days ago by some Erudite journalist. It was a bunch of nonsense about you running off to get married because you were trying to escape your father. My father mentioned it over dinner. Apparently it's causing quite the ruckus among the councillors. I assumed Tobias had told you." Her eyes search mine carefully as I slowly stand too.

"Why would he?" I say with an equal hint of sarcasm and anger. Susan is much too chaste to recognize either one.

"Beatrice, he is your husband," she replies. She opens her mouth as if to say something else, but stops herself. I'm grateful. The only things that matter have already been said, and I can't guarantee that I won't explode right where I stand.

My father is being attacked by the Erudite because of this stupid marriage, and Tobias knew yet failed to tell me while simultaneously prancing around me with his sanctimonious attitude, knowing full well how much my parents mean to me. I don't expect any real consideration on his part, but this is by far the most despicable thing he's ever done and I've had enough of his stupid games!

This ends now.

* * *

 **A/N: A special thank you to Bamberlee for her work on this chapter! And for absolutely rescuing chapter 8 lol Which I gathered from all the reviews, that you guys loved :) Thanks for your continued support! And your patience with these two is just about to start paying off ;) Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

 **TRIS**

Finding a copy of the horrid newspaper article wasn't difficult. What was difficult was convincing myself to not strangle Tobias the very minute I walked inside that house. I growled with fury as I read it, every word like a drop of fuel to my rage. How dare the Erudite attack my father! And how dare Tobias hide something like this from me!

My face is red, and I'm sure that fumes are radiating from every inch of my body when I burst through the front door, because Tobias' eyes fix on mine, hard and careful. Unafraid, I storm toward where he sits. I pull the ungodly piece of paper out my pocket and I practically throw it at him.

"You knew about this?" I yell. "You knew about this and you just decided to not say anything to me?!"

Tobias' eyes open wide at the sight of the crumpled newspaper that's sprawled carelessly in front of him. He barely looks at it, yet he recognizes it. He lets out a breath and then he looks away from me.

"How could you keep something like this from me?" I yell at him again, forcing myself in his line of sight. "I shouldn't be hearing about this an entire week after the fact, when my own husband has known about it from the very beginning! Even _Susan_ knows that and she's as green as a cucumber!"

Tobias' head immediately spins around and his eyes find mine again. Only this time, they're filled with something like resentment. Tobias stands to his feet, and with a scowl on his face he towers over me. "You can't demand that I comply with my duties as your husband when you obviously have no regard for your own as my wife," he says, lowly but angrily. His eyes are deep with thought, angry thought.

"Oh come on, Tobias!" I shriek, flinging my arms here and there. "I get that I'm not Abnegation wife of the year, but this is about my father! This isn't ammo for you to use in whatever little game you and Marcus are playing."

Tobias gives me an incredulous look. "I didn't not tell you because I wanted to get back at you. I didn't tell you because I knew it would upset you," he barks in his own defence.

I almost laugh at the idea. "So you're protecting me now?" I scoff and roll my eyes in disbelief. I run my hand over my hair, and this time I do laugh. It's a wry laugh, but only until the heat of my emotions brutally possesses me, warping it into a real laugh.

"Well excuse me for not always thinking about myself," Tobias says sardonically. "Unlike the person who seems to forget that that article wasn't just about _her_ and _her_ father."

"You _cannot_ be serious!" I say, very frustrated but equally amused. "You do realize that this is _your_ fault, right?! The Erudite would have _never_ come after my father if it weren't for this stupid, bogus marriage!"

Tobias shakes his head in obvious frustration. "I'm done with this conversation," he says, although more to himself than to me.

"No, you're not!" I shout desperately, and I grab his arm when he tries to walk away. However ridiculous and sadistic his defence, I want to hear it. I want to know how he justifies everything that he and his father have ever done to me and my family. "Talk to me!" I continue to yell. "Tell me what's actually going on in that head of yours!"

Tobias looks down at where my hand clutches his arm and then back up at me. He doesn't pull away but I can feel his strong arm stiffen under my touch.

"You really want to know how I feel?!" He seethes darkly. "I'm getting sick of you!" he says, suddenly raising his voice. "You're not the only one who was forced into this marriage! And when I came, I came with the idea that we would both do our best to make this marriage work! But I have tried and tried and I'm _done_ trying. I don't know where I got the _ridiculous_ idea that you would at least try to feign some decency. But I was _so_ wrong about you. You're nothing but a selfish brat!"

My hand falls away on its own at his declaration, suddenly reluctant to be in contact with him. "Oh please!" I scoff in disbelief while trying to bury how much his words actually hurt me. "If Marcus forced this on you it's because he was smart enough to know that you were too much of an imbecile to ever find a wife for yourself." I take a step closer to him, every inch of my body challenging him.

"Well as imbecilic as I may be, I have no doubt that _anybody_ else in this entire city would have been a better choice than you," Tobias retorts, practically growling at me.

"So why didn't you choose a wife for yourself then, Tobias? Why didn't you marry _Emily?_ " I scowl her name, my tone mocking them both. But even to myself, I can't deny the sharp pang of jealousy that I feel even at the very thought of her.

"That is none of your concern." Tobias' face suddenly hardens, and he stands straight and stiff, as if trying to frighten me off.

"Of course it's not," I say sarcastically. "I heard Marcus talking to you at the wedding. You think I'm stupid?" I take another step forward. "I know all about why you married me, Tobias. Because I will be beneficial in your ascension in society," I mock. "Don't you even dare try to and victimize yourself."

Tobias' eyes open wide. "You don't know what you're talking about," he says. He looks in control, but there's a hint of nervousness in his voice. His words slightly tremble on the way out.

"You're just like him," I almost whisper, leaning my face up closer to his. "All you both care about is power and control."

Challenging me, Tobias leans in closer. I can feel the heat and rage radiating from his body. "I'm nothing like him," he seethes at me through gritted teeth. He stands tall and commanding as he looks down on me, his eyes penetrating. But I don't flinch and I don't step back. I won't let him threaten me into submission.

"Oh, you're not?" I hiss back at him. "Then why did you marry me then? If not for your own benefit? What does Marcus have over you? How could he have _possibly_ forced this on you?"

To my surprise, Tobias is the one who tears his eyes away first. He takes a small step back. "Marcus has always controlled my life," he says softly, lost in thought. "He…," he pauses. "He has his ways ok?!" Tobias' tone suddenly becomes hot again, defensive. His eyes, warm for only a short second, are now guarded and cold.

I'm about to retort, about to yell back, but something deep inside me stops me.

I recall the way Marcus had spoken to and about Tobias at dinner, the way Tobias cringes under his father's touch. I recall the way he recoils into a shell of quietness whenever his father speaks. I remember the strange scars that I had seen on his sides that flowed along the beautiful lines of muscle that curve around into his back. And then I remember the part of the newspaper article that accused Marcus of grotesquely mistreating his son.

I had dismissed it, thinking that the accusations were no more true than those made against _my_ father. But the longer I stand there and think about it, the less untrue it seems. Until finally, in a frighteningly cold and sudden moment, I get the most horrid revelation.

"Tobias…," I begin weakly, simultaneously wanting to retreat and wanting to step closer to him. "Does he hurt you?" My right hand suddenly longs to caress his face but instead it becomes numb with frustration as it hangs limp at my side.

Tobias looks somewhere above my head.

"Tobias…," I say again, but he doesn't answer me, nor does he look at me. "I'm so sorry," I almost whimper. "I've been so horrible to you all this while because… I thought you were in on it." I stutter the words with obvious despair, shame, and regret. I almost sound pitiful.

Distraught, I stare up at him but Tobias just stands there and says nothing. My mouth hangs open, desperate to express how horrible I feel, but the words evade me. Everything that I can think to say sounds derisory. I can't even seem to bring myself to ask for his forgiveness, because deep down I know I don't deserve it.

"Please say something," I say as I feel the weight of my actions in my arms, in the pit of my stomach, deep down inside my chest, pulling me deeper into the ground.

But he doesn't. He says nothing at all. Not caring to look at me even once, Tobias simply turns and walks away, his foot seemingly heavy as he treads up the stairs. I feel my eyes become heavier and heavier with every step that he takes. My legs beg me to let them run to him in the same manner that my arms long to reach out to him and my mouth longs to scream his name. But instead, I stand limp and defeated, too penitent to do anything at all.

I suddenly feel weak when he arrives at the top of the stairs, my heart sinking too deep into my stomach when he turns the corner where I can no longer see him. And when he slams the bedroom door shut, the first teardrop falls.

* * *

 **A/N: And there's that argument some of you were waiting for! Sorry this chapter was shorter than most. I promise the next will not disappoint ;) A guest reviewer asked my most and least favourite Divergent ship. My most favourite by a long shot is FourTris. These two are simply perfect for each other. My least favourite is a tie between Peter and Tris and Four and Christina. I honestly cannot tell you which I hate more. They both make me sick lol Thanks again for all your support guys. Your reviews make my day as bright as a summer day :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

 **TOBIAS**

I don't even realize that I had fallen asleep until I wake up in a room that's pitch black.

It's not that I meant to commandeer the bedroom. I just wanted to be left alone. I laid myself on the bed with thoughts of just calming myself down for a few minutes, but after weeks of sleeping on the sofa, my body gladly welcomed the comfort. Even more so, I was exhausted. Physically, emotionally, and just about in every way possible.

I wasn't proud of myself for yelling at Beatrice the way I did, even _if_ she was practically begging for it. But neither was I going to apologize to her, not after everything she had done to make my life miserable. Honestly, I was half expecting her to follow me up the stairs or to come knock on the door, demanding that I come out of _her_ bedroom. To say I was relieved when she didn't would be a gross understatement.

But I wasn't just angry at Beatrice, not entirely. More than anything else, I was ashamed that she had figured out the one thing that no one else has ever known about me. No one else but her mother, that is. As much as I had wanted as amicable a relationship as possible between us, I wasn't ready to share that part of my life with her just yet.

I had seen the horror in her eyes as she put the pieces together, and I couldn't bear to watch her look at me like that. Even now, I don't think I want to face her. I'm not sure how the morning's revelations would affect her behaviour, and I don't know which would be worse; her pity or her indifference. But not liking the idea of her sleeping in the sofa for the night, I climb out of the bed and walk out of the bedroom. I shake my head and curse at myself about how undeniably stupid I am for this, considering that Beatrice has never hesitated to disregard my comfort.

I go downstairs and find her already asleep in the sofa, so I approach carefully, not wanting to wake her. I bend my knees in front of her, and though it's dark, I can see that her eyes are closed but swollen. And she's hurdled up into a tight ball though she needn't be. It isn't particularly cold and the sofa is just wide enough to comfortably suit the entire length of her body. She doesn't look uncomfortable, yet still I can't seem to convince myself to leave her there.

I pick her up easily, one arm below her knees and the other under her shoulder and around her back, and slowly I bring her up to my chest. Beatrice stirs in my arms but she doesn't wake. Her breathing evens and she presses her face into my neck. It's only now that I'm carrying her that I realize just how petite she is.

I move slowly. I'm careful with every step that I take up the stairs, and even more careful when I lay her down on the bed. Then I take a step back and just look at her for a minute.

Her lips are slightly parted and her bun is undone, leaving thick strips of golden hair to fall freely over her face and shoulders. She looks peaceful this way, though the trace of sadness in her eyes is undeniable. I suppose she really did believe that I was a willing participant in the dissolution of her family, hence her anger towards me. I guess, though vexing, her behaviour was in some way understandable. I don't know what to expect when she wakes up now that she knows the truth. But mentally too tired to wonder about what all this means for us, I take to the sofa for the rest of the night.

* * *

I wake up to the smell of fresh ginger tea and bread.

I open my eyes and sit up on the sofa, only to see Beatrice already in the kitchen. Her back is turned to me and I can't stop myself from staring at her as she gracefully manoeuvres the hot baking pan and the fire under the eggs. She tiptoes as she reaches up into the cupboards with the plates, and then gently she grabs them and sets them on the counter. She reaches up again, this time taking down two tea mugs.

She pours the first mug of tea and the sweet smell of it fills the air as dancing waves of steam rise up from the mug. Carefully, she takes it in her hand, and that's when she spins around. She goes to take a step, but realizing that I'm staring at her, Beatrice freezes, mug in hand.

She eyes me carefully for a minute, and then apprehensively says, "Tobias… Good morning." Then she bites her bottom lip and stares at my feet. I feel something squeeze the inside of my chest as I let out a breath, and I can already tell that this is going to be the most awkward morning of my life.

"Good morning," I say tightly, not sure what to make of this. "You made breakfast," I say more than ask as I slowly rise from the sofa. I walk carefully into the kitchen, as if considering every step. It's only natural. I can't be too sure that Beatrice won't still try to poison me.

"Yes," Beatrice says softly as she resumes her journey to the table. She sets the mug down and then ushers me to sit. When I remain planted where I stand, her earnest and swollen eyes sink and she whispers, "Please."

Her eyes are pleading, and something inside me wins as it coaxes me to oblige her, and I take a seat at the head of the table, my face guarded as she serves me breakfast. She serves herself second, and silently takes a seat when everything is set on the table. I eye the food suspiciously, remembering precisely the taste of salted eggs and sour milk.

When Beatrice sees my hesitation, she says, "I promise, it's not… bad." Her cheeks turn red with embarrassment, both hands placed in her lap. I look at her for a short while and then I nod though I'm not too crazy about believing her. So when I pick up my fork, I sniff the eggs covertly before placing it into my mouth.

To my sweet surprise it's delicious, and the bread is soft and warm in my mouth. I take a sip of tea and it feels as good in my stomach as it does on my tongue. I close my eyes as I chew, not sure if I should be upset at the fact that Beatrice has been making bad food on purpose, feel content knowing whatever unspoken war that was brewing between us has finally come to an end, or laugh because this entire situation has been nothing short of amusing in the very worst way possible.

I choose to not react at all, thinking it best to not risk ruining my day while still only at breakfast. We both eat in silence, and Beatrice doesn't bring herself to look at me even once.

But not too much time passes before reality invites itself into my thoughts and I'm unable to push it aside. I know for a fact that it will be an uncomfortable conversation, but I also know that at some point Beatrice and I will have to talk about what happened. Not talking was how we ended up in this mess in the first place.

When I'm done eating, I look at Beatrice seriously for a moment, a long moment, wondering what she might be thinking.

"Beatrice?" I say her name, and this time she does look up at me. We both stare thoughtfully at each other, neither of us quite sure what to say. So to end the silence I just say, "Thank you."

She smiles but only a little. "Thank _you_ … for taking me to the bed, I mean," she eventually says, softly. I notice her bottom lip trembling, and it only stops when she catches it between her teeth. "Tobias, I really am sorry… about everything," she then says solemnly. "I really hope you can forgive me."

She stares serenely at me, her eyes wide and hopeful, begging me to say something. There's a pure honesty in the way she looks at me and I stare back with equal intensity. It should be easier than this; looking at her with resentment, telling her that her apology is nowhere near enough. But her eyes are beautiful, pale blue and wide open like a cloudless Saturday morning, and more than anything else they're remorseful, making it ridiculously impossible to stay mad at her.

Giving in to the tightness in my chest, I say, "I do," and Beatrice's eyes begin to gloss over.

"Thank you. You're a good person, Tobias," she says softly, still staring into my eyes. "You have a kind heart."

Though no one has ever used those words to describe me before, they make me feel warm and assured, as if they've always been true. It makes me feel better than I ever did when my father complimented me, and I wonder if it's because it's what _she_ thinks of me. Or maybe it's because I was trying for so long to make her see that I was nothing like _him_ , and now she finally has.

I nod with a small smile and continue to sip what's left of my tea. And it's only out of the corner of my eye that I see Beatrice suddenly look away, biting at her lip again, obviously fighting back tears.

"Beatrice?" I ask as I set down the tea mug, unable to hide my concern. But the sound of my voice seems to break her, and the tears come rushing down before she ever has a chance to stop them. "No," I think I whisper as I quickly get out of my seat and take a knee beside her chair. "Don't cry," I say.

I look up at her, but Beatrice just turns her head away, pressing it into her left shoulder as she tries to choke back the sobs. But she fails miserably, and in only a matter of seconds her face is buried in her palms.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, Tobias," she whimpers, trying so hard to not look at me. "I feel so horrible. More than you can imagine."

"Hey…" I say a little sternly. "Look at me."

Hesitantly, Beatrice turns her face in my direction, and slowly her eyes wander upward until they land in mine. The tears streaming down her cheeks make me feel weak all of a sudden, regretful of every unkind word I said to her yesterday. She may not be my most favourite person in the world, but I never want to make her cry. And somehow I get the feeling that she's been crying all night.

"Don't cry," I whisper. Without thought, I lift my hand and press it against her cheek. My thumb slides over her smooth skin as it turns her tears into nothing but a smear. Then I become lost in her eyes again, and I just stare at her, pondering how it is that this vile woman affects me so. But that's just it. She isn't vile at all, is she? And maybe I always knew that.

"You must think I'm a monster," she says softly and she shakes her head a little, my palm still resting on her cheek. Before I could answer she continues, "I swear I'm not. I know it doesn't make it right, but I only treated you like that because I thought that you were a part of Marcus' game and that you had ripped me away from my family just so you could use me to make a better name for yourself. I felt cheap and deceived. I was hurt and angry and I let my pride get the best of me even when I shouldn't have." She looks away and stares at her fingers again when she says, "I never even gave you a chance."

In that moment I find that there is absolutely nothing in me that feels even remotely triumphant that Beatrice has completely come apart in front of me. I feel her pain tugging at my insides as if it were my own. So wanting nothing more than to make it go away, I assure her, "It's ok. You didn't know. I'm sure that if you did you wouldn't have acted the way that you did. Right?"

She shakes her head. "It's not ok, Tobias. There's no justification for the way I treated you."

"Maybe not… but I do understand," I say. And really, I do. All of my life, Marcus' cruelty has made me want to lash out, tear through walls. I can imagine how angry it must have made her, being forced to marry me and then having to live in the same house with me while believing that she was not important to me beyond the social and domestic perquisites that came along with having her as a wife. Granted, she didn't handle it in the finest way, but I believe Marcus could bring out the worst in anyone if he tried.

"You do?" Beatrice asks me, turning to look at me again.

"Yeah," I say with a nod. "I had wondered why everything had changed so suddenly, but considering that you overheard what Marcus said to me, I can't really blame you for thinking what you did."

I want to tell her that I wish she had told me, but I quickly realize that she barely knows me and maybe it would be unfair to just expect that from her. Although I did my best to assure her that I really did care for her, it meant nothing once she had overheard Marcus' intentions. Beatrice had no reason to trust me, after all. All of this may have been my own fault actually. I should have told Marcus right then and there to shut the hell up. If I had known she was listening, I certainly would have.

"I didn't know… about Marcus," she says carefully. And pressing her hand into my own where it still rests on her cheek she asks, "Do any of the members know?"

"Just one," I say. "And now two."

Together, our hands fall from her face and into her lap, and twisting her small fingers around my own, Beatrice firmly says, "Well, he can't hurt you anymore," as if she were promising to protect me herself. The thought brings a small smile to my face. I feel a strange admiration for her. She has never been afraid of him.

"Tobias?" Beatrice then asks, turning her body in the chair to face me completely. "Can we please start over?" Her voice is barely a whisper. Her fingers squeeze tighter around my hand, and I feel it again, that brush of static when her fingers glide against my palm. And when that incredible feeling is combined with her vulnerable and honest gaze, I know that I couldn't say no to her no matter how hard I tried, no matter how mad I was.

"We can," I say. "But on one condition." Beatrice eyes me nervously until I say, "No more salty eggs."

And finally, she smiles wide. Unable to hold back a shy laugh she says, "Ok. No more salty eggs." And there she is again, the beautiful girl who sat across from me at her parents' dinner table. Seemingly small and quiet, yet brave enough to think herself a match for my father.

Reluctantly, I release her hand and return to my seat at the table. I feel a strange desire to sit closer to her, but I settle for watching her quietly as she finishes her breakfast. I can feel as the part of me that prefers to tread carefully before I trust her slowly fades away. And really, I don't mind it.

When she's done with her breakfast, Beatrice and I both work together to tidy the kitchen. And for the first time since we've been married, we pass the day away from each other's throats and actually seeking out each other's company. We don't say much to each other, but the horrid tension has been replaced with small smiles and kind gestures. All in all… It proves to be a wonderful Sunday.

* * *

 **A/N: I really hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Many thanks to Bamberlee who continues to make each chapter better ;) And also to my faithful reviewers. Understanding what you guys think about each chapter and knowing what you want to see happen actually gives me ideas when I'm writing, so you're all a big part of the creation of this story. Thanks again! :D**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

 **TOBIAS**

This week is proving to be a hectic one. Yesterday, a representative from Erudite had shown up unannounced, politely demanding to look through our files. And when she was done doing that, she requested a tour of the entire Abnegation grounds. Emily was asked to accompany her, but the woman insisted that Marcus be the one to give her the tour. He agreed, but I knew that he was boiling inside at the thought of spending just a minute alone with this woman.

She was arrogant, speaking down to even our leaders as if they were her children. She walked around with a tiny bottle of hand sanitizer, not touching the walls as if there was some infectious disease spreading throughout Abnegation. Her dark eyes followed every movement, analysing even the way we walked. Many smiled at her to welcome her, but she never smiled back. It was interesting to see how the members of my faction responded to her blatant pomposity. Unsure that I would have been able to keep my Dauntless in check, I was sure to stay away from her whenever possible.

Today, Marcus spent most of the day cursing in his office, insulted that the Erudite would feel the need to police us. I'm not sure what they actually think they'll find by digging through our files, and Marcus thought the same thing but went through them anyway. He read and reread every paper that she had glanced at, and at the end of the day he was no closer to figuring out what it was that she had learned that had her looking so smug when she finally left. I felt exhausted just thinking that that could be me in two years, only worse, since things are looking worse for Abnegation with every day that passes.

I use the walk home to clear my head, and I'm glad when I see my own grey house along the lengthy line of them. Returning to a house with Marcus after a day like this would most definitely not have ended well for me. I step up on the porch and I become elated when the smell of baked chicken and fresh bread hit me like a storm before I even open the front door. I smile. It has been like that for the past few evenings; me coming home to a perfectly made house and dinner just about ready.

Beatrice doesn't let me lift a finger, unless if it's to grab something that she can't reach. She has done far more than necessary to prove to me that she really is sorry for the way she had treated me, and I've told her a thousand times over again that she doesn't need to spoil me, but she doesn't listen. She wouldn't be Beatrice if she did.

Anxious, and entirely pleased, I let myself in and I walk quietly past the living room and into the kitchen. That's when I see her, stirring a small pot of sauce. I lean into the wall and just stare at her for a while the way I always seem to when she doesn't notice me. There's been an extra spring in her step lately, even when she does trivial little things like dipping the spoon in the pot then bringing it up to her mouth for a taste. She smiles into the large spoon as she sips the sauce from it, and then she lets out the sweetest sigh. It gives me goose bumps.

"You know, I'd be happy to come home and make dinner," I say, startling her a little. Beatrice instantly turns around at the sound of my voice and smiles shyly at me, the pot spoon still at her lips.

"Tobias," she says my name softly. I don't think I've ever heard it said quite in that tone before. "I suppose one day I could surrender the kitchen to you," she adds as she sets the spoon down on the stove and walks over to the table. She pulls out my chair and says, "Until then…," and gestures for me to sit.

I laugh quietly and shaking my head a little as I walk towards the dinner table and take my seat. Suddenly it dawns on me that because I had become so happy at the smell of food, I had completely forgotten that I thought I was coming home to an empty house.

"I thought you went to assist your mother today. I didn't expect you home so soon," I say. Beatrice has been visiting her mother's volunteer group a lot lately, since they've been working overtime with the initiates. Maybe that's why she's been so happy and much more at ease these days. I can only imagine how much she's missed her parents.

"There was a problem organizing the resources," she says, setting a warm loaf of bread on the table. "We had to reschedule for tomorrow."

I nod in understanding. "I think it's nice that you volunteer with the other initiates even though you don't have to," I say honestly. "I hope they were welcoming to you." I don't expect the Abnegation born to trouble Beatrice about her not having to complete initiation, but rare as they may be, I've dealt with transfers before and certain behaviours brought from old factions aren't immediately unlearned when you bleed on the smooth grey stones.

"They were. And well, there's not really much to do around here. It was nice to get out," Beatrice says with a small shrug and an impish smile. It's easy to smile back.

Suddenly I wonder, "Have you considered how you'll serve after initiation?"

I remember my mother never worked outside our home. Aside from the fact that her bruises kept her from ever leaving the house, Marcus didn't want her to, the same way he naively expected to confine Beatrice to this house. Most Abnegation women work with the volunteer groups. Some, like Natalie, are distributers, while others are in charge of preparing meals or sewing clothes for the factionless. A few work as aid to the leaders, others would serve the city by working in the schools and hospitals, and the remainder serve as housewives.

Funny. I can't imagine Beatrice doing any of those things. I don't imagine she'd hate it, but she seems much too exuberant for any of the usual Abnegation jobs.

"Maybe I'll be like you and run for Councillor," she jokes. At least, I think she's joking.

"I wouldn't be too quick to get into politics if I were you," I reply with a deep sigh. In and of itself, Abnegation politics aren't too complicated since everyone tends to have the city's best interest at heart. It's why our faction was chosen to lead the city; we were deemed incorruptible. The problem arises when Abnegation councillors forget that everyone else is not like them. They are ignorant and naïve when it comes to dealing with the pride of the Erudite or the indiscretion of the Candor. I, for example, wanted to kick that Erudite representative out of the building from the very moment she stepped in. The very thought of it frustrates me.

It must show on my face because Beatrice suddenly asks, "Is everything ok? You look like you could use some tea before dinner. How was your day?"

My mood immediately picks up again at the idea of Beatrice's tea. I don't know what she puts in it, but it's heavenly.

"I'd love a cup. Thank you," I say to her just before she spins around to prepare it. "The City Hall has been strangely uncomfortable these past weeks," I continue. "Especially now with the latest article and the unannounced visit of an Erudite representative. None of the councillors want to talk about it, but they're all obviously thinking about it."

"Does anyone _ever_ want to talk about anything in Abnegation?" Beatrice says to herself. I smile and have to force myself to not laugh. I'd make a joke about how we spent the first two weeks of our marriage, but I know it's still a sore spot for her. It's incredibly ironic actually, finding out after all that just how insanely easy Beatrice is to talk to.

"I guess you're right," I say.

"I _am_ right," Beatrice says with a sweet but smug tone as she hands me the tiny mug of hot tea. I smile at her and bring it to my nose and breathe deep. The steam feels pleasant on my face, and I feel every muscle in my body instantly relax. I set down the mug and thank her again after I take a sip. "What do you think they want?" she asks me.

I shake my head and shrug. "Marcus always says that he _knows_ they're up to something, although I don't know how they could possibly benefit from spreading rumours about Abnegation."

Beatrice seems to think about this for a while. "Well whatever they want from us, I'm sure it's nothing insignificant. They wouldn't be too Erudite if it were," she rightly says. I nod as I consider it. But what exactly do we have that the Erudite want so badly that they'd slander us to get?

"And even besides the rumours and downright odious articles, there's also the matter of them feeling the need to control everything we do," I say.

"What do you mean?" Beatrice asks, setting the pan of chicken on the table this time. Unsure of just how much information I am actually allowed to share with her, I decide to forego the part about the Erudite taking control of most of the fabric and carelessly dispersing technology throughout the factions.

"According to Marcus, they do regular inventory on all our supplies, and they want a play by play with what we do with them," I explain. "They're actually demanding that we account for all the food we've acquired over the past five years. How are we supposed to do _that_?"

Beatrice takes her seat at the table. She stares off at nothing, but she has that look in her eye. She gets it so often that I've come to recognize it in only a matter of days. "What are you thinking?" I ask her.

"You could use the census," she answers, turning to look at me. "It's how Amity knows how much crops to grow each year. They use it as a guideline for production, and then they distribute food supplies according to the number of people living in each faction. Since there's a record of what was produced and how much was allotted to each faction, you could then calculate the surplus which was of course given to us by Amity to feed the factionless. And since it's another faction's records being quoted and not ours, that could serve as a point of us not being biased or just making up numbers."

I nod slowly. "That's actually a great idea," I say. "I'll suggest it to the other council members. Thank you, Beatrice."

She smiles and says, "You're welcome." But then it fades when she adds, "I think it's a strange request on their part though. Erudite should already know how the food is distributed."

"So why bother to ask?"

Beatrice bites her lip, and an unsettling look finds her face before she softly says, "Because they're about to accuse us of keeping the extra food for ourselves, knowing that we have no way to prove that we don't."

My body suddenly feels heavier when I realize that she's right. Unlike the other factions, our members don't have to sign as affirmation that they've already received their month's rations, since no one would ever consider claiming twice. And asking the factionless to sign as they receive food or clothing would be absolutely ridiculous.

I sigh heavily. "Maybe you should come to the council meetings," I urge Beatrice. She'd definitely be an asset. She's a great deal more perceptive than I would have ever expected her to be. And no one would be surprised to see her there. The councillors' wives are allowed to attend, though most tend to not speak. Natalie actually frequents the meetings with Andrew.

"At least _you'd_ be able to impress my father," I say softly. "So far I haven't really been able to contribute anything to the meetings." The words come out before I realize what I've said. I quickly regret them. I'd hate for Beatrice to think I was of no use among the leaders.

But without hesitation she says to me, "He's wrong about you, you know. I think you'd be a great leader."

Beatrice doesn't say anything else, but with the sincerity bursting from her eyes, she doesn't need to. Unlike the usual Abnegation compliments and niceties, there's a valiant honesty behind Beatrice's words and actions. She puts as much effort and honesty into spoiling me as she did when she was punishing me, and for some crazy reason I appreciate that.

There's so much about Beatrice that's unlike the typical Abnegation woman. But I always knew it. I always knew that she was special. I knew it from the first time I laid eyes on her, and even when it was most difficult to see.

"Do you mind if I join you tomorrow?" I ask her suddenly and seemingly out of nowhere. But it's easy to push the day's trouble aside when we talk like this. It only makes me want more of it, more of _her_.

"Of course not," she says with a smile, a confused smile. "But don't you have to work tomorrow?"

"Actually, I don't," I say. "Marcus and some of the other councillors are headed to Erudite tomorrow on official business. Since I'm not an official member of the council yet, the leader of Erudite doesn't see my presence as… necessary."

I've only met her once; the leader of Erudite. She's tall, blond, and pristine looking; like she would have a heart attack if even a hair fell out of place. Marcus would complain of her often, saying she was cold, proud and voracious. I'm not certain how different that is from any other Erudite I've met.

"Well you don't really want to go their boring, _official_ meeting anyway," Beatrice says sassily as she starts to dish out the food that I'm sure might be cold at this point after all the talking. But I smile and say nothing at all, because she's right. I'd much rather be here, eating dinner with my wife.

* * *

 **A/N: Sorry I was a bit late with this one guys. It was one of those weeks. Anyways, I really loved the reviews from the last chapter and I hope you guys enjoyed Chapter 12 just as much! :)**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

 **TRIS**

Not wanting to be too late, I take a quick shower. Tobias and I had been up talking for most of the night and had lost track of time. By the time I remembered that I needed sleep, I knew that I wouldn't be able to get much since I was supposed to head out early this morning. I was gone the second my head hit the pillow, and after what felt like only five minutes later, I heard Tobias knocking on the bedroom door, asking me if I was ready.

I throw my clothes on and pin my hair up in its usual bun. I'm quick, but I'm also careful to not look unkempt. I smooth out every last wrinkle on my dress and I run my hand over my hair several times, not wanting to leave a single hair out of place. Now that I can look at myself as I please without anyone telling me that I shouldn't, getting ready in the mornings is much less arduous. I open the panel that hides the only mirror in the house and I take a quick glance at myself before I run downstairs. Thankfully, my eyes don't look as tired as I thought they would.

I walk quickly into the kitchen, letting out a sigh of relief when I see that Tobias has already put together some sandwiches and is waiting for me at the table.

"Thank you so much, Tobias," I say as I practically throw myself into my seat. "I'm sorry I'm late."

"You don't need to thank me, Beatrice," he says seriously. "I already told you last night. I have no problem making breakfast or dinner."

I smile at him, grateful, but I really wish he didn't have to. Things have been much better between Tobias and me, but the truth is I feel guilty every time he does something nice for me. _I_ should be the one doing nice things for _him_ since I was the one behaving like a prick for the first two weeks of our marriage. And even without considering the way I treated him before, doing nice things for him comes easily knowing what a good person he is and that he'd do the same for me in a heartbeat. But that also makes me feel like nothing I do would ever be enough to make it up to him.

In the best interest of time, I decide to dive into the sandwich, maybe a little bit too quickly.

"Take your time," Tobias says to me with a handsome smile. "The factionless aren't going anywhere."

I stop chewing for a few seconds, suddenly remembering that Tobias is coming with me today, and I feel a wave of nausea just roll through me. As much as I really don't mind him coming to community service with me, I have been a bit nervous since the moment he asked. Apart from our dinner at the Taylors', Tobias and I have never left the house together and I'm not sure what it'll be like.

Most Abnegation couples stick to the normal code of conduct when outdoors. Meaning there's no touching or standing too close to each other, and there's really nothing that anyone would expect from us that they wouldn't expect from any other member of the faction, so I'm certain that it can't be that I'm worried someone will realize that something is strange about the relationship. No one would figure out a thing, and going to community service with Tobias would be no different than going to community service with Caleb.

It's irrational and I know it. But it doesn't change the fact that the thought of going outside with Tobias as husband and wife terrifies me. Still, I finish my breakfast quickly, simply not having the time to deal with my unfounded nerves. We decide to leave the dishes for later, and then we both grab our coats and head out the door.

We don't talk much along the way, but it's not an awkward silence, and I notice Tobias walking conspicuously close to me the entire time. There's practically no space between us by the time we come to a stop at the factionless sector and he only pulls away a little at the sight of some of our faction members, one of them being my mother. The sudden distance leaves me unexpectedly disappointed.

My mother is heading the distribution, organizing the supplies into small bags and then passing them on to the initiates and volunteers who then disperse them among the factionless. There's a long line of factionless men and women on one side of the street, and a disorganized and rowdy crowd on the other. They're pushing each other and fighting to get to the front. It's not too surprising. There are always those who don't feel the need to wait in line.

My mother catches sight of me and smiles instantly. Then she returns her eyes to the job in front of her, gracefully packing each bag with supplies and tying a knot at the end. I note how calm she looks and how focused she is. My mother has perfected the art of losing herself and serving others. I only wish I could say the same of myself.

I begin to walk towards her and the pile of packed bags and Tobias follows straightaway. Looking around suspiciously at the broken sidewalks and dilapidated buildings, he says, "I don't like the idea of you being out here."

I immediately give him a look. I gather it's been a while since he last volunteered. Today is a quiet day. And it's no secret that the factionless live in the most horrid of conditions, so the atmosphere shouldn't come as a shock to him.

Raising my eyebrows, more than a little bit taken aback by his concern, I say, "I'll be fine. It's just to pick up a few bags and hand them out. Nothing life threatening."

But Tobias doesn't take me on. He continues to survey our surroundings, and when he finally looks at me he says, "Ok. Just stay close." His tone is firm and authoritative in a way I've never heard it before, and he looks more apprehensive than I've ever seen him.

I'd expect that I'd be upset or at least annoyed that he thinks I can't take care of myself, but no. Strangely and stupidly enough, I like it. I nod and I feel my face flush. Then Tobias rests his hand in the small of my back, guiding me forward, as if I weren't flustered enough. At first I think that maybe he never meant to, and I expect his hand to slip away though I don't want it to. But it's left planted there, firmly pressed into my back.

I walk towards my mother with my heartbeat in my throat, and I feel that familiar shiver that always travels down my spine whenever Tobias touches me. Gently, he pulls his hand away as we approach my mother. I wish he'd put it back.

"Beatrice," my mother smiles when Tobias and I are both standing in front of her outdoor work table. "I'm glad you're here. And you as well, Tobias. We could really use the help."

Tobias nods and his face suddenly becomes wearier. "It's a pleasure to be here, Mrs. Prior," he says. "I must ask. Is it always like this?"

"Most days, yes," my mother replies. "And every year there seems to be more and more of them. I fear one day our extra supplies might not be enough."

I stare off at the rowdy crowd for a second. To me the factionless have always seemed like a foreign entity, something alien. But considering that my family and I very well might have ended up being one of them if Tobias and I had never reconciled, I feel a strange and sudden sense of identification towards them. I now know that it's completely possible for someone who has done nothing wrong to be cast away.

"Tobias, could you help me with some of the larger bags?" my mother says, separating me from my thoughts. "There are two big ones just around the corner." She points loosely behind one of the buildings in front of her.

Tobias quickly agrees and passes a quick glance in my direction before walking away, almost as if telling me to stay exactly where I am. I can't say I've ever seen this side of him before. But I guess now that we're actually talking, learning new things about each other isn't exactly the strangest thing. My eyes follow him as he walks away and I unconsciously begin to admire how handsome he looks even from behind, his long coat swaying just above his knees.

"How nice of Tobias to join you today," my mother says sweetly. Her eyes are still focused on her work, but she passes me a quick knowing glance and I know that she saw me staring at Tobias.

"Yeah," I say coolly, trying to play it off. "Marcus went to a meeting at Erudite today so Tobias was free for the day and decided to come along."

"Your father went to the same meeting," my mother says softly. And in a much more spirited tone she says, "Tobias is setting a wonderful example, spending his day off in the service of others. As are you, Beatrice. I know you've been relieved for the remainder of your initiation."

I smile and nod hoping that my mother won't sense my hypocrisy. I've just been coming to community service so that I could see _her_. I wish that I could pull her away from here so that we could be alone if only for a few minutes. We don't get to talk much and maybe that's _my_ fault. As much as I long for conversation, I'm sure she'd ask me how I was, and I would be too ashamed to tell her how the first weeks of my marriage went.

By the time Tobias returns with the first large bag, my mother's table is filled. When he goes to fetch the other, I decide to distribute a few of the smaller ones to make room. Most of the crowd is being attended to by volunteers and initiates, but I notice one man in particular who sits by himself in an alley not too far off. I'm not supposed to veer off so far away from the crowd, but he's older, maybe around fifty, and I consider that he might be crippled, so I take up a bag for him.

"I'll be right back, Mom," I say, and with the small bag in my hand I walk into the alley.

When I get closer I almost change my mind and turn back. The man looks worse up close than I ever thought possible. His head is bald and scaly, and he has a shabby beard that's knotted and filled with dirt. He doesn't smell particularly nice either. The factionless are expected to not be well kept, but this man looks like he hasn't taken a shower in months.

"Here you go, Sir," I say to him, stretching my hand down toward him.

His wrinkled hand trembles as he reaches for it, but instead of taking the bag, his hand closes around my wrist making me squirm. And when he smiles at me, I notice a large gap between his front teeth.

"My, don't you have pretty eyes," he says to me. Then his eyes scan my body in the most grotesque way, making me wholly uncomfortable. "It's a shame the rest of you is so plain," he says.

My heart starts to pound in my chest, and feeling a surge of adrenaline, I tug my hand back, but his grip tightens. "Let go of me," I command him.

He tilts his head to the right. "Aren't you a little too young to be volunteering, dear," he says. I smell something acrid and unpleasant on his breath.

I stop tugging and stand up straighter, feeling suddenly insulted. I know I look young; I don't need to be reminded. "I'm an initiate," I retort. "Now let me go."

Still, the man holds me captive and I begin to regret coming down this alley at all. And just as I start contemplating how in the world am I going to get out of here, I hear an angry Tobias shout, "Hey!"

I feel a sudden relief, exhaling into my chest.

"What do you think you're doing?" Tobias bellows out in my direction. At first I actually wonder if he's talking to me, but I turn my head to see him storming towards us with his eyes fixed on the creepy old man who refuses to let go of my wrist. "Let her go," he growls at the man, but he doesn't wait for him to. In one quick move, Tobias reaches down and grabs the man by his shoulders, picking him up off the ground.

Hastily, the man lets go of my wrist and the bag in my hand falls to the ground. His large eyes open wide and he says, "I wasn't going to hurt her." And he holds both hands up in surrender. But just as Tobias sets him back on the ground, the old man grins and throws a sloppy punch at him. Tobias dodges it and retaliates quickly, landing a hard punch in the man's nose. Pressing his hands to his face, the man stumbles backward until his back is pressed against the wall.

Stunned and somewhat frightened, I shriek, "Tobias! You hit him!" As if he didn't know that he had.

Strangely calm but obviously irritated, Tobias looks me square in the eye and says, "He had no business grabbing you, Beatrice." And then we just stand there, staring at each other, my mouth hanging open.

"What's the problem here?" A deep and unfamiliar voice suddenly chips in, coming out of nowhere. A tall man walks quickly toward us and when he's directly beside the old man, he stands with his feet slightly parted and his arms folded. This man looks much more presentable than the first, and like he might be in his late thirties. His dark hair is short and neatly combed, and his clothes, though mismatched, look fresh. He looks strong and much more well fed than any other factionless I've ever seen.

"The _problem_ ," Tobias snarls, "Is that your friend here seems to think it's okay to grab and attack the people who are trying to help him."

"He's my uncle. He's also stupid and drunk and not worth your efforts."

"I don't care who he is. Just keep your deranged uncle away from my wife," Tobias scowls. I'm sure I visibly cringe at the word _wife._

The dark haired man's eyes are curious and they pass back and forth several times between Tobias and me until finally resting on Tobias. "You're quite aggressive for one of the Abnegation," the man says. Then studying Tobias' face and narrowing his eyes, he asks, "Don't I know you from somewhere?"

"I don't see how you would," Tobias bites back. "Let's go, Beatrice," he says to me softly. Tobias takes my hand firmly but not forcefully and he leads me out of the alley. I glance back several times only to see both men still staring at us.

Tobias stops walking when we're just outside the alley and he just looks at me and sighs. There's something peculiar about the look in his eyes. "You can't just walk into an alley by yourself, Beatrice," he says to me warily. "What were you thinking?"

I try to meet his eyes but I suddenly feel foolish. I guess I never expected the exchange between me and the old man to be anything but civil. When all I can do is shrug, Tobias gently picks up my hand in his and flipping it over, he examines my wrist. "Did he hurt you?"

"No," I say, and he didn't. What hurts is when I see the pained look in Tobias' eyes as he looks at my wrist, when I hear the worry in his voice. Seeing the ghost of gloom on my face, though not understanding why it's there, Tobias says, "I think that's enough volunteering for today." And feeling no need to disagree, I don't.

* * *

Later that night we both find ourselves around the kitchen sink, washing dishes. We haven't spoken much since getting back to the house, but every so often I would catch Tobias glancing at me. I guess neither of us is really sure what happened today. I try to think about what could have triggered his unusual behaviour when we arrived at the factionless sector. But maybe it had begun even before that, when he was walking so close to me that his arms would brush against mine as they swung.

There's no doubt in my mind that Tobias is a good man, but he has always been so effortlessly Abnegation that there's something unsettling about him disregarding my personal space and punching a man in the face. But though unusual, I will admit, it wasn't unwelcomed. Maybe there's a little Dauntless in all of us.

"Thank you for what you did for me today," I say from beside him, not sure if he's mad at me for putting myself in a precarious situation. He doesn't look mad though, he's just undeniably quiet.

Tobias smiles a little as he rinses off the last bowl in the sink and then says, "That's what husbands are supposed to do, right?"

He dries his hands in the dish towel and then passes it to me, and it occurs to me that maybe, just maybe, that's all it is. He's just trying to be a good husband. The thought makes my chest feel heavy and for the first time in three weeks, I let myself truly accept that deep down, I _want_ him to be my husband, not because he has to be, but because he wants to be.

I smile and nod in order to hide the disappointment on my face and I turn off of the kitchen lights when I realize I'm failing. We both walk into the living room, and neither one of us seemingly up for conversation tonight, Tobias turns that light off too and prepares for bed.

His body, beautiful even in the dark, sits strong and upright in the sofa. He looks mysterious and alluring as a mixture of shadows and soft glows are cast on him as the dim street lights breach our windows.

"Goodnight, Beatrice," he says.

"Goodnight, Tobias," I say. And then he opens up his blanket and lies down in the sofa. I walk towards the stairs but I hesitate as I'm to take the first step up. I find myself looking back at him, admiring the way his chest smoothly rises and falls as he breathes. I realize he's too tall for the sofa, his legs hanging loosely over the edge of it. I imagine he can't be comfortable and I suddenly want to offer him the bed.

But the terrifying part is that it's not at all to switch places, but rather to have him lie with me.

* * *

 **A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! And thanks so much to those who have recently started to follow or have favourited this story. Your support means a lot :)**  
 **Now. Penny for your thoughts?**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

 **TOBIAS**

His face is stuck in my head, like a picture imprinted on my brain. His dark hair and eyes set on a narrow face with a slightly square jaw seem all too familiar. Although I don't know how, since before I turned sixteen Marcus almost never let me leave the house, and ever since then I haven't made a habit of socializing with the factionless. But for some reason I can't help but think that I've seen this man before. Maybe even more than once.

The feeling is so strong that after work, instead of heading home to Beatrice like I'm supposed to, I find myself walking in the opposite direction, right to where that uncouth old man attacked her. My fists clench at my sides as I become enraged all over again just thinking about it.

I had spent most of last night awake, trying to figure out exactly what it was that had possessed me so. Truthfully, I was on edge the very minute we arrived at the distribution point, but when I saw that man's hand on Beatrice, I lost it. It's like some primal instinct took over me at the thought of someone hurting her, and in that moment all I wanted was to take her as far away from that place as possible. If I could I would stop her from volunteering all together. But I know better than to even mildly suggest such a thing to Beatrice.

I check the watch on my hand to make sure I'm on schedule since I'd rather not have to offer up an explanation as to why I'm home much later than usual. I wouldn't know what to say. I don't want to lie to Beatrice, but neither would I be able to explain to her why I was actively seeking out the nephew of the deranged man who attacked her.

I pick up the pace, relieved when the grubby alley comes into view, and I promise myself that I'll spend no more than thirty minutes looking for him.

The place looks deserted, and no one would be able to tell that only yesterday it was packed with hungry factionless and a gallant army of grey determined to feed them all. The quietness is eerie, pregnant with kenopsia.

I expect to have some difficulty finding this man since I don't even know his name or if this is where he usually passes his time. But when I turn the corner and walk deeper into the alley, I see his tall figure facing forward with his right shoulder pressed into the brick wall, almost as if he were expecting me.

I ignore the voice in my head that presses me to turn around. I walk forward, only stopping when the distance between me and him is just enough.

I stand there for a short moment, covertly examining his relaxed posture. He looks out of place with his tidy clothes and tame hair as he stands in the garbage and rat filled alley. If he'd trade his dark orange Amity T-shirt for a black one that matches his Dauntless pants, I'd never know he was factionless.

"You expecting someone?" I ask him. "Or perhaps you misplaced your uncle again."

The man simply smiles at me, the right side of his mouth curving up higher than the left. "Why'd you come back here?" he asks me, pushing himself up from off the wall. "I'm sure it wasn't to avenge your lovely wife. You already did that."

Right in that moment, there appears an unsettling feeling in my stomach and I suddenly become mute. He obviously knew I'd be back here and is taunting me for it. And there's no way I can answer him without sounding asinine or hungry for answers, since however it was that we were acquainted, he knows more about it than I do.

"Let me guess," the man says, not waiting for me to find an answer. And confirming my suspicions, he says, "You think you remember me from somewhere, but you're not exactly sure where."

I'm immediately intrigued, but I keep my face guarded and in the strongest and least curious voice I can find I ask, "Who are you?"

"My name is Maddox Kade," he says firmly and surprisingly without a fight. "And I figured out who _you_ were about five minutes after you left. You have her hair… and her cheeks." His face sinks a little, but a small smile plays at his lips as he pauses. I'm about to ask him what in the world he's talking about when he says, "You're Evelyn's boy, aren't you?"

My body instantly stiffens at the sound of my mother's name. After her death it was never spoken, neither in nor outside the walls of our house. Marcus preferred to live as though she never existed and only mentioned her if to insult her, always as 'that woman' or 'your mother'. Never by her name.

Hiding the sudden anxiousness that takes over me at the mention of her, I simply ask, "You knew my mother?"

"I knew her well," he replies. And then his eyes break away from my own and he stares intently at something far away behind me for a little bit too long.

"Are you going to tell me how?" I ask with the slightest hint of sarcasm when Kade gets lost in thought.

"Your mother used to bring you around when she'd volunteer in this block and sometimes in the middle of the day for no reason," he says. "She used to tag along every once in a while with Natalie Prior's group since they would always distribute around this area."

My eyebrows furrow in confusion. "I don't remember that." I don't remember my mother ever leaving our house, much less taking me with her.

"Yet here you are," Kade says to me, smiling for some reason. "You've walked down this alley more times than you could imagine. Only difference is back then you weren't as mouthy. Nor as tall. And you'd hug people instead of hitting them."

"Why would my mother bring me here?" I ask snappily, ignoring whatever sentiments of reminisce he's feeling over a time that I'm not at all too quick to believe ever actually happened. Although, I _am_ inclined to. There has to be some truth in it, or I wouldn't have given him a second thought after having left this alley yesterday. There has to be a reason why he's triggered something deep inside my subconscious. "What aren't you telling me, Kade?"

He lets out a breath and he folds his arms. "Your mother and I…," he pauses, and then he shifts uncomfortably a number of times before finally leaning his back into the wall. "We were close. Very close," he finishes, giving me a look that bids me to wonder exactly how _close_ he means.

"You're lying," I say, all too easily. "My mother was married. And she wouldn't have thoughtlessly fraternized with another man." She was as faithful to Marcus as I've ever been. Not because we loved him, but because we feared him. Sometimes I think I'm _still_ afraid of him and that not living under his roof has given me a false sense of strength and security.

"I knew that she was," Kade says softly. "And nothing she ever did was thoughtless. I suppose that's why we were never more than what we were."

"Friends?" I ask. The question doesn't come easy, because there's no answer that won't put me on edge. Even if they _weren't_ lovers, I've never known my mother to have had any friends. There might be pieces of her walking around with him every day; sides of her that I've never known and will never know.

Kade nods to answer my question. "The first time she came out here," he explains, "She looked to be as lost as I had ever seen any Abnegation woman be. I could tell that she didn't get out much. She was scared of me at first when she handed me that bag of food, and I don't blame her. We factionless aren't really known for our good manners." He laughs a little and I can tell by the tone of his voice that he cared for my mother far beyond friendship. "But I promised her that I wouldn't hurt her and that I was grateful for the bag, and for some reason she believed me," he continues. "I didn't expect her to but she kept coming back and not before long our conversations went from just a few words to full length stories. And when she trusted me completely, she started to bring you around."

And then he looks me dead in the eye and says, "It didn't take me long to realize that despite the wedding band on her finger, she never once spoke about her husband. And when she came to me one afternoon with a bruised eye, I knew why."

Kade's face suddenly becomes red, hot with anger. But something inside me gets angrier. "So if you cared about her, why did you let her go back to a man you knew was abusing her? Doesn't make much sense to me." There's obvious bitterness in my tone, and it's unwarranted. I don't know this man. Why should I expect him to owe me an explanation? Why should I feel betrayed by the fact that he could have helped us but didn't?

Kade looks at me with surprise in his eyes. "I wanted to kill the bastard but she wouldn't let me," he says strongly. "And as much as I had wanted to, I couldn't force her to leave him." He glances off for a while and then says, "Every time he acted out I'd beg her to come live with me. I'm factionless but I can take care of myself and I would've been able to take care of her… _and_ you." He looks at me again with something in his eyes that I can't quite recognize. "When I found out she had died I knew that sick bastard was behind it," he says. "He had finally gone too far, just like I told her he would. But my words didn't make a bit of a difference. She wasn't safe and she already knew that."

"So why didn't she come with you," I ask, genuinely wanting to know. Only one who has never lived under Marcus Eaton's roof would believe that living factionless is the worst thing in the world.

Kade sighs into his chest. "Because of you," he says with a hint of sadness in his voice. "She said that she wanted to give you a chance. As a factionless child you would have had no chance at a future in this city. You would be nobody. And she always believed that you were meant for great things."

It's ironic. So ironic that I really don't know what to make of it.

Although unknown to her, my mother chose to keep me under my father's belt as a child so that I could prosper as a man. But if we had both left Marcus behind us, maybe she would still be alive today, and maybe I never would have known pain and hurt the way I do now.

I'm not mad at her decision. It makes no sense to be mad at the dead anyway. But I at least wish that I'd had a choice in the matter. Maybe I would have chosen differently. Maybe I would have preferred the sting of hunger instead of that of violence. But by the looks of Maddox Kade, it's possible I wouldn't have known either one.

"You know, I always thought so too," Kade then says. "People like you and your mother; you're so much more than just another indoctrinated faction member."

"But you don't really know me," I interrupt. "I was a child when you knew me. You weren't there for the past twelve or so years of my life."

Kade's face slackens and when he looks at me he's pale, like all the blood has been drained from his face. "I know that, Tobias" he says, and there's an uncomfortable heaviness in my chest when he says my name. He opens his mouth as if to say something, but he takes in a breath and presses his lips together. And then he says, "I wish that wasn't the case."

The air between us rapidly thickens. How could it not with all the undue sentiments floating around in it? He's carried around thoughts of my mother and me all this time, so much so to even remember her face and my name. But he's not my father. He doesn't owe me anything. He has no more reason to feel regretful that he didn't become my hero than I do to be mad at him because he didn't.

"Well there's not much that can be done about that now," I say tersely.

Kade takes a small step toward me and says, "I don't expect you to just trust me or to invite me into your life. But if you ever need anything, don't hesitate to ask. You know where to find me." And then he turns around without warning and walks deeper into the alley until he's at a large rusty green door. And without looking back at me, he opens it and walks inside.

* * *

I check my watch constantly, and watching as the sun sinks deeper and deeper into the horizon does nothing for my unease. It all seems so surreal and like too much to process; learning that my mother had an unlikely friend, wondering if she had ever stopped loving Marcus and had loved Kade instead, and trying to figure out how and _if_ I should even mention this to Beatrice. I can't imagine what she'd think of my mother if I told her. I'm not even sure how I feel about it myself.

Maybe I never knew my mother. I've been foolish to think that she was only the things that I remember her to be and nothing more, like a child's recollection of his late mother would be anything other than biased. But I can't blame her for seeking some sort of comfort, can I? Not after what Marcus did to her. I suppose all that's supposed to matter is that she loved _me_.

The minute I step inside the house, I head for the master bathroom thinking that a shower would help to clear my head. But it's so filled with preoccupations that I thoughtlessly open the door without knocking first, and I walk in on an unsuspecting Beatrice who's stepping out of the shower completely naked.

I'm not sure which one of us yelps first, but all of a sudden the bathroom is filled with a strange combination of screams and apologies. My hand clutches at the doorknob and Beatrice is clumsily grabbing at her towel to cover her body. And instead of walking back out and closing the door like any decent human being would, I just stand there completely frozen.

"I'm so sorry," I blurt out for the third or fifth time. "I didn't realize you were in here."

Beatrice turns completely red, the exposed skin of her arms and legs just as flushed as her face. Her hair is wet and stuck to the side of her cheeks. Drops of water trickle down her skin and stop at the hem of her towel. She looks beautiful in the most provocative way.

"It's ok… I guess," she stammers and swallows hard. "I mean, it's your bathroom too right?"

It's my turn to gulp and I stay as stiff as I am quiet, not sure if a nod would be the right answer to that question.

"Are you feeling ok?" Beatrice asks me as she takes several careful steps toward me, her face shifted from frightened to concerned. "Your eyes look so tired."

"I'm actually not sure," I say nervously. I'm definitely certain that my head is spinning, but what I'm not certain of is if it's because of what I found out today about my mother or if it's because I just saw Beatrice naked.

"Long day, huh?" She asks kindly, most likely because of the time I came in. I don't answer, not wishing to lie to her. I just give her a small smile. "Go take a shower," she says. "I'll have some soup ready by the time you're done."

And she does, but instead of setting the dinner table like I had expected her to, on my way downstairs I walk past the open bedroom door and see that a bowl of soup is set on the small dresser next to the bed that Beatrice sits on the edge of, her legs hanging over. Still a bit shaken, I knock on the door frame before walking in just to make sure that I'm actually supposed to. I rub the goose bumps that still linger on my arms and Beatrice looks at me inquisitively as she sees me shivering. I had intended to take a warm bath, but not too long into it, I found myself thinking about Beatrice in that towel again and a cold shower was warranted.

"Beatrice?" I ask as I walk into the bedroom carefully. My eyes don't hesitate to scan every inch of her where she sits. I've always liked seeing her in her sleeping garments, even when I wanted to throw something at her.

"I brought your soup upstairs," she explains. "And I think _you_ should have the bed tonight, Tobias. You're not feeling well, and I'm sure I'd fit in the sofa much easier than you do."

I immediately disagree. "I couldn't possibly let you sleep in the sofa, Beatrice." And when her face sinks, it only accentuates the fact that her concern is genuine. To lift her spirits a bit, I say, "But I won't say no to dinner in bed." She immediately smiles and moves over a bit, giving me room.

The bed is soft where I sit and I feel my body relax as it sinks into the mattress. Playfully, Beatrice pushes at my chest with both hands, forcing me to rest my back on the pillows. "Lie down," she giggles, and it's the most beautiful sound in the world. I pretend that I'm no match for her strength and I fall backward easily, taking a deep breath when my back crashes against the soft cushions.

Right then and there I realize that Beatrice sleeping in the sofa isn't the only reason why I can't sleep in this bed. Her scent is marred on the pillows and sheets and the one breath of it that I just took was enough to make me want to pull her close to me. An entire night of breathing her in would leave me intoxicated and dangerously hungry for her.

"Now relax and eat," Beatrice commands as she passes me the bowl of soup. It's warm in my hands, and it's soothing. I smell every delicious seasoning as I inhale deeply, taking the vapours up into my nose. And the meat and vegetables are all cut into large chunks, just the way I like it. Even with little time on her hands, the soup looks perfect.

And it tastes as good as it looks. The warm liquid fills my mouth with flavour and a soft potato cube melts on my tongue when I take the first bite. "This soup is amazing," I say with evident admiration in my voice. "Thank you, Beatrice."

Her cheeks flush and I suddenly wonder if her arms and legs are flushing too like they did before.

"You're welcome, Tobias. That's what wives are supposed to do, right?" she says with a smile, still sitting at the edge of the bed. Smiling back is automatic and all too natural. And that's when I see it, that rare spark of vulnerable kindness in her eyes, the same form of kindness that lives in her mother's eyes. "For what it's worth," she then adds softly, "I'm really glad we're not fighting anymore."

My hands grasp tightly at my bowl and spoon. At this point, they're the only things stopping me from reaching out and touching her. Lately I've found that I always want to touch her. I always want to be close to her. I always want to talk to her.

"Me too," I answer just as softly. "I don't mean to sound selfish… but out of all the women Marcus could have forced me to marry, I'm really glad it was you."

The confession escapes easily, but not to my surprise. I've come to find that my restraint is lacking when it comes to Beatrice. Even now, I want to share with her what I found out today. I've never had anyone to share my mountain of secrets with. And I think it would be stupid of me to deny to myself how deeply I care for Beatrice. It's a lot deeper than I should considering that we barely know each other, and most of what we've seen of each other hasn't really been our finest moments. But despite all that, there's a refreshing peculiarity to Beatrice, one that appeals to all of my senses. She is strong and fierce in a way that I have never seen a woman be. To be honest, I was surprised she wasn't mad at me yesterday for having intervened in that alley, insulted that I had come to her rescue.

But as much as I want to share with her, as much as I want to get closer to her, days like yesterday and today are like a slap in my face, reminding me that I shouldn't be so careless with my feelings. There are too many skeletons in the closet of my mind, too many burdens that I carry with me, and I won't make my crosses hers.

Maybe it's naïve of me to think that this marriage could be anything more than just civil just because I felt something unique and special between us from day one. But every time I come home to her and I see how far we've come and I imagine what we could be, it's so easy to forget who I already am. And although I don't completely understand what it is about us that makes the hair on my body stand up every time we touch, I do know that I can feel it growing every day and I can't fight it.

And although I don't want to fight it anyway, maybe I need to.

Before I was married, I had done well hiding the parts of me that don't fit into this faction. But then Beatrice happened and for some reason, she brings them all to the surface. I feel free and strong when I'm with her, comfortable enough to act, to speak, to be brave, to be Dauntless. But in order to protect us both, I can't afford to be anything but Abnegation. I could tell her the truth, that i'm Divergent. I could tell her how I feel about her and let her open all the doors that I've kept forever sealed, but that would mean running the risk of scaring her off, especially if she's at a different place in the uncategorizable beauty of a relationship that we have now.

Truth is I don't really know what I'm going to do, since falling in love with your wife isn't something that one tends to resist. But all in all, I have to find a way to control my feelings for her before I do something completely stupid and get us both reprimanded. So when I'm done with my soup, I say goodnight knowing full well that I don't want to go. And when I see the forlorn look in her eyes as they follow me to the bedroom door, I silence the voice in my head that wants to believe that she doesn't want me to either.

* * *

 **A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, especially since it's the longest one so far lol A special thank you to the great Bamberlee who continues to do amaaaaazing beta work! A bit of a twist in the storyline, Evelyn really is dead in this story. But we have Kade so it's all good. I'm dying to know what you guys thought of him :)**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Thank you guys so much for all of your amazing reviews on the last chapter! Knowing that readers are enjoying this story despite the pace at which I'm taking it means a lot. Anyways, you guys deserve a longer chapter and some Four/Tris... so I'm just gonna leave this here ;)**

* * *

 **Chapter 15**

 **TOBIAS**

I feel strange as I stand in the small empty office. There's no desk, no chair, no curtains. It's barren even for an Abnegation office. But earlier today I found out that as of next week Friday, it will be mine.

To say I was shocked when Marcus gave me the news would be an understatement, since, as far as I knew, I wasn't to be sworn into the council until _next_ year, and then I'd run for faction leader the year after that. I had wondered why, but I didn't want to seem insolent, so I never asked when he told me. But either way, two years' worth of experience as a councillor still looks pathetic beside men like Andrew Prior who have served this faction for more than a decade. And when I do win the election, it won't be because of that extra year. It will be because many of the men who are eligible to take my father's place aren't planning to run at all. Instead they're all throwing their full support behind _me_.

Sometimes it amazes me just how influential my father is. But it really shouldn't. The Abnegation are like trusting sheep, loyal to my father the wolf. But he dresses like them, so they don't see him for what he is. But if I were to be honest, my aptitude test results suggest that I am no more fit to lead this faction than he is.

Contemplating on the barren wall, I hear a sudden knock on the door. "Please, come in," I say, curious as to whom it might be. Only Marcus knows of my new office, and he wouldn't have the decency to knock.

When the door opens, Emily Taylor is who stands on the other side of it.

"Tobias," she says with a smile. She finally stopped calling me Mr. Eaton after Beatrice and I went to have dinner at their home. Honestly I prefer it, but I quickly realize that those sentiments might not be shared. "Your wife is here," Emily explains, and behind her is an irritated looking Beatrice.

I take it Beatrice dislikes Emily, and that might be my fault. Ever since that dinner where I outrightly condoned Emily's flirting, Beatrice can't even say her name without scowling afterwards. I make a mental note to apologize to her for that later, but I push the thought aside. Right now I can't help but just be happy that she's here.

I had left for work rather early this morning and I found myself thinking about her more than usual. And I usually think of her often. I smile at her, looking right past Emily, and I know she notices. Beatrice smiles back too, a shy smile, and she walks inside the small room. Somewhere in the background, I see Emily closing the door behind Beatrice who looks around curiously at the empty room for a short second. She doesn't ask anything, but rather returns her attention to me.

It's strange, seeing her here at work. And apart from that, it's only the second time we've been together outside of the house. Over dinner the other night, I had invited her to the council meeting and I wasn't sure if she'd come. She does look hesitant, but still happy to be here.

Still smiling, I say, "You came," pointing out the obvious. "This might be the most boring two hours of your day. But I'm really glad you decided to come."

"Me too," Beatrice says earnestly, and taking a step forward she finally asks, "What's this?" Her eyes glance around the room again.

"This," I tell her as my hand gestures at our surroundings, "Is going to be my office." Her eyes open wide and before she can ask, I explain, "Marcus gave me the news this morning. Turns out I'm to be sworn in on the council next week, same day as your initiation day."

"That's amazing, Tobias!" Beatrice replies excitedly. And unexpectedly, the distance between us disappears and standing on the tips of her toes, she throws her arms around my neck and smiles into it. At first my arms aren't sure where to go, but then they slowly snake around her middle and pull her closer to me the way they've been longing to do for ever so long. Beatrice doesn't seem to mind the closeness at all, and I almost lose it when she giggles into my ear.

"I guess it is," I say softly. It _is_ an honour to be a member of the council, but I'd much rather have her in my arms like this every day, even though I know I shouldn't.

Hearing the emotion in my voice, Beatrice pulls away a little, and then searching my face, she says, "Why don't you look happy?" And then with a much more serious tone she asks, "Tobias, is this what _you_ want?"

I know what she's asking. She's asking if I'm only doing this to please my father. And maybe it started out that way, because for the longest time I couldn't see myself ever being worthy or equipped to lead this faction, and ultimately that's where it's headed. But I don't know anymore. Ever since she came into my life I've felt stronger, braver, safer.

"I don't know if I do," I say honestly. "I guess I just thought I had more time."

Beatrice nods. "I understand," she says. "But I already told you; you'll make a great leader. So if you ever decide that it's not what you want, don't let it be because you're doubting yourself."

As I look into her eyes, I can see the faith in them. I don't know what I've ever done to make Beatrice think so highly of me, but it means the world to me that she does, that they _all_ do. At first I was afraid that Andrew and Natalie only supported me because of something my father had told them, but Andrew, without even knowing what I was thinking, later assured me that that was not the case and that he truly believed I would make a great leader to this faction. It was unorthodox, the way they all came into my life. But I'm grateful now more than ever that they are a part of it.

"Thank you, Beatrice," I say. And I press my lips together and let my hands fall from her waist to my sides before I can't stop myself from kissing her.

* * *

The corridors are quiet as Beatrice and I walk side by side toward the conference room. We're greeted by smiles and nods from many of our faction members along the way. It's easy to see the approval on their faces when they look at us. I never would have imagined that marrying Andrew Prior's daughter would have made such a political statement. But when at the end of the corridor, I see Marcus standing tall and upright, his eyes bright with achievement and with a smirk on his face, I imagine this is exactly the effect he was hoping for.

Beatrice scowls as she sees him, realizing that there's no way we can get inside the conference room without walking past him. Making sure to get in our way, Marcus takes a few steps until he's standing in the dead centre of the passage way. But instead of receding or falling behind me, just as we're arriving at the end of the corridor, Beatrice walks quickly and steps in front of me.

"Good afternoon, Marcus," she says to him, unimpressed.

"Beatrice," he answers.

I hate the way he says her name.

I press my hand firmly into her shoulder before I step around to stand at her side, wishing Marcus' conversation could somehow happen with me standing in between them. I actually wish he wouldn't speak to her at all.

"We'd like to not be late for the councillors' meeting. I'm sure you don't mind," I say. There's an edge to my voice and Marcus looks at me inquiringly for a second. He only nods nonchalantly at me before returning his eyes to Beatrice.

I hate the way he looks at her.

"Can't a man want to see his son and daughter-in-law for a mere second?" Marcus says, the affection in his voice sounding entirely fake. "I just wanted to let you know, Beatrice, that my son looks well." And when she says nothing to him, he says, "I'm sure Tobias has told you by now that he will become an official member of the council next Monday."

Beatrice nods unenthusiastically. "Yes. He has."

"I'm sure you are aware of the responsibilities that come along with being a councillor's wife," Marcus quickly bites back. "Your mother set a well enough example for you." But Marcus says the words almost sarcastically, and I can see Beatrice resisting the urge to roll her eyes at him. Almost certain that she will answer him in a less than elegant manner, I decide to end the conversation.

"Excuse us," I say. Undeniably irritated, I push past my father, pulling Beatrice by the hand. I never would have asked her to come here today if I had known that Marcus would try to provoke her in broad daylight. It's bad enough what he did to her. He doesn't need to torment her about it.

Beatrice comes along willingly, but I can feel the tension in her wrist. When we're clear of him, I let go of her hand and hold her by the shoulders. "I'm sorry about that," I say strongly. "I should have never let him speak to you in the first place."

But Beatrice doesn't seem upset. She actually laughs a little. "Don't worry about him," she says. "Soon _you'll_ be leader of Abnegation, and he won't matter anymore."

An unexpected smile finds my face. I've never thought about it like that. I never imagined that one day I'd have the same kind of influence that my father has now. Beatrice presses her hand into mine, and then, putting Marcus behind us, both physically and mentally, we walk side by side into the conference room.

When Beatrice catches sight of her mother on the other side of the room, her entire face lights up with a smile so beautiful that I can't not adore it. But it too quickly disappears.

"There's no space there," she says softly as she frowns at the rows of occupied chairs. I immediately chastise myself for not telling Andrew that Beatrice was coming. I'm certain Natalie would have saved her a seat if she had known. Beatrice's eyes scan the room, and much to her dislike, the only seats available are the ones in the front row.

"Looks like you'll have an up close and personal view of an Abnegation council meeting," I tease.

"Oh, definitely," she replies. "What an honour that will be. Especially when all the councillors have an up close and personal view of me falling asleep." Beatrice smiles rudely and I chuckle quietly beside her as I walk her to her seat.

I find my own at the centre of the room not too long after, since the meeting is supposed to start at any minute. But the second I take my seat, I realize that we have a direct view of each other and I feel my nerves begin to rattle. I will not be able to dedicate my full attention to this meeting, since it will either be focused on Beatrice or on trying to keep my eyes off her. I don't even notice when the other councillors fill up the seats around me and Councillor Richardson stands himself behind the podium.

"I'd like to welcome all those in attendance at this week's council meeting," he says, trying to project his voice around the room. After he presents each and every councillor present, he reads a short summary of the events of the last meeting. When I turn to look at her, I expect to see Beatrice fighting back a yawn, but instead she listens intently, her eyes and ears completely open. I smile.

"The main objective of today's meeting," Councillor Richardson continues, but this time he addresses the council, "Is to procure a proper solution in regards to meeting the Erudite's latest demands. Up until this point, we have cooperated fully with their leadership and have maintained a healthy relationship with them, which we endeavour to keep."

Funny. Healthy isn't the word I would use to describe such a relationship.

When Councillor Richardson pauses, the room is deathly quiet, quieter even than the usual Abnegation silence. If you were blindfolded, you would think that aside from the councillors present, the room was completely empty.

"First," he picks up again, "As you all know, we've been required to account for our food consumption. Has anyone been able to think of a way in which we might do so?"

I suddenly remember Beatrice's suggestion, and in only a second my eyes find hers. She gives me a look, encouraging me to speak up, though she knows as well as I do that I'd have to make it seem like I had come up with the idea myself, especially since she wasn't even at the last meeting. It would be best to not give the impression that we treat the faction's problems as pillow talk.

I smile at her, but unable to take all the credit for Beatrice's idea, I say, "Actually, yes. My wife happened to mention something to me the other day, and it made me realize that there _is_ a way that we could make some account of what we've received."

When I speak, everyone's attention is on me and some are unable to hide their surprise. I've never spoken at a meeting before, but as I explain Beatrice's idea to them, I feel confident and sure, as if speaking out into a crowd was something that I did every day. After I'm done explaining how we could use the census and Amity's records to prove our intake of food, I suggest, "Although it would be impossible to prove that the factionless receive one hundred percent of the extra goods, I'm sure that our people wouldn't mind the Erudite accompanying our volunteer groups in order to witness first-hand how the distribution is carried out."

I see more than a few heads bobbing as I speak. "Very well done, Tobias," Councillor Richardson then says. Marcus smiles hesitantly at me from where he sits, and so does Andrew. But it's not their smiles that make me swell with pride and the wholesome feeling of accomplishment. It's Beatrice's. She's looking at me dotingly, like I was the only other person in the room. And it's silly really. It was _her_ idea.

"Well if there are no objections to my son's suggestion or no more useful ideas, we'll present it to the Erudite and see what they think of it," Marcus says with an irksome humility. "But I see no reason why this strategy would not satisfy."

"Moving on to our next matter then," Councillor Richardson says with a nod. "We have also been notified that as of next week, a member of Erudite will now be present at every council meeting held. Said representative will be keeping a record of topics discussed during our meetings."

Councillor Taylor shakes his head in disapproval, but he says nothing.

"They've also decided to continue the restriction on our linens until we can prove that they are a necessity."

"I'm sure that a simple explanation will suffice," someone naively suggests. "At the next meeting with their leaders we can simply request to have the restriction lifted since winter is coming and our people will need more linen to make warm clothing."

I'm not sure why anyone should have to justify the need for clothes. But I'm not the only one who's wholly irritated by this.

"That's it? You'll ask nicely?" I hear Beatrice ask, her voice resounding in the conference room. "And what will you do when they say no?"

I instantly hold my breath. This will not be good.

"Is there a problem, Mrs. Eaton?" Councillor Richardson asks her, stupefied by her sudden outburst.

This time I'm the one looking at Beatrice with resolute eyes, but completely ignoring them, she answers and says, "Yes. There is actually a huge problem. The Erudite seem to think that it's ok to just demand whatever they want from us. And it looks to me like you're not planning on doing anything about it except indulge them."

"Are you implying that you disagree with the council's decision?" Another councillor asks, entirely perplexed. The rest are too dumbfounded to say anything at all.

All eyes are turned to Beatrice, the surprise in them unmistakeable. It's considered an honour to be one of those free to attend the meetings and most tend to be quiet. And of the few who in certain moments had seen it fit to speak, none had outrightly expressed dissatisfaction with the council's decisions.

"I'm not implying anything," Beatrice says strongly, but not rudely. "I'm _saying_ that something needs to be done about this. Have you actually asked yourselves what is exactly the basis of all these demands? You must know that it's not without roguish motive."

"It is not our place to presume that the intentions of our fellow leaders are roguish, Mrs. Eaton."

"Well they've obviously taken it upon themselves to deny us that courtesy," she responds to Richardson. "Exactly how many false accusations have they made against us? And how many more do they need to make before you realize that we can't just let them keep insulting us like this?"

"It is the belief of this council that when we prove ourselves as just leaders, the Erudite will have no choice but to drop every claim," Councillor Richardson says.

"You're wrong," Beatrice says, her eyes wide open. "They won't ever stop because they obviously have much to gain from it."

"I fail to see how the Erudite benefit from spreading unfounded rumours about our faction, Mrs. Eaton," Richardson answers again, this time clearly taking Beatrice lightly.

"You fail to see it because you don't prize the one thing we have that they do not," she replies, and I immediately grasp what she means.

Only just yesterday Beatrice and I had asked ourselves what it was exactly that the Erudite wanted from us. But today it seems as clear as day. There's an old Abnegation saying that says ' _Valuing knowledge above all else results in a lust for power, and that leads men into dark and empty places'._

 _Power_ , I realize. They're after power. Which means that they won't stop until they've turned over every leaf in Abnegation, and after they've done that and found nothing, they'll make something up. They'll do whatever it takes to overthrow us.

"We mustn't assume the worst of others," is Councillor Richardson's reply to Beatrice's words. "That is not our way. As a born member of this faction, you should know this."

As soon as Councillor Richardson says the words I feel hard eyes on me, and when I look to my left I see the cold piercing eyes of my father. He passes a hard glance at Beatrice and when his eyes return to mine, I already know what he's thinking. My fists clench into balls at my side and I match his stare, warning him to stand down. Marcus seethes at me, but not wanting to cause a scene he remains quiet just like I knew he would.

I know my father. He will feel the need to involve himself or demand that I 'discipline' my wife, and I won't stand for either one.

I turn and give Beatrice a pleading glance, and I see the hesitation in her eyes as she searches mine. She might not understand it, but right now I need her to stop talking. It's not that I disagree with her. She's absolutely right, but the way Marcus is glaring at her is making my blood boil.

"Beatrice. Please," I mouth the words to her, and I know she sees me because her hard eyes are staring straight at me. But of course Beatrice chooses to speak anyway.

"So I guess we're all supposed to just sit here and do nothing while they scrutinize everything we do," she says with disappointment in her voice, still staring right at me. "They say we're trying to force our belief of self-denial on everyone else but it looks to me like it's _them_ trying to get everyone else to see things their way. And when they simultaneously undermine our government, insult our leaders, and would have the rest of this city believing that we are corrupt, they're actually suggesting that they would do a better job. They're planning a revolution right under your noses and you don't even see it," she snarls the last part.

The room suddenly feels tense and everyone is looking at every other person in the room; everyone except Natalie and Andrew Prior. Their eyes are just locked on each other's, and they both wear a grim look on their faces. It doesn't take me long to figure out that they had both come to that conclusion long before their daughter had. When their eyes break away, they both stare worriedly at Beatrice.

"Beatrice," Andrew says finally, cutting through the awkward silence. His tone is soft but firm and I gather she knows what it means because she immediately recedes. She's not happy and her body is tense as she folds her arms, shakes her head and takes her seat. She doesn't look at me after that. She doesn't look at anyone.

The rest of the meeting is painfully uncomfortable, the usual Abnegation easiness thrown way off. The Abnegation, unlike the Candor or the Dauntless, never speak their minds or share ideas in public because they think it's selfish to tell people what they think is right. This conference room has never seen a day like this. But then again, this council has never seen an Abnegation woman like Beatrice Prior.

But the minute I think the thought, I feel an uncomfortably heavy feeling in my stomach. She is no longer Beatrice Prior. She is Beatrice Eaton. She carries my name, _Marcus'_ name. And if I had had any doubt before, I am now absolutely certain that he will not be pleased about today. So the second the meeting is adjourned, I leave the centre of the room, determined to have Beatrice home before Marcus could ever count to ten. But after searching the painfully quiet crowd, I realize that she's nowhere in the building.

In a panicked frenzy, I race to the house, hoping that in a stubborn fit she had left on her own and it wasn't that my father had forced her into a corner somewhere. Sick with worry, I push the front door open with all my might, almost breaking it, and at the top of my voice I call out to her.

I hear her before I see her, attacking the dirty dishes in the kitchen sink.

"Why did you just leave like that?" I say as I swing myself into the kitchen, the words coming out sounding a lot stronger than I had intended.

Beatrice immediately drops the dish and cloth in the sink and spins around. "Because I didn't want to be in that room for even a second longer. I felt ashamed of all of you," she replies fervently.

"But why _there_ , Beatrice?" I insist. "Why couldn't you just come home and tell me that you had figured out the Erudite's intentions?"

"Because everyone in this faction deserves to know what they're up against, Tobias! And I know you know that I'm right. So why didn't you say something?!" She says the words accusingly but with a hint of disappointment and hurt in her eyes. "I expected _them_ to want to shut me up. But not you, Tobias. I really thought you were better than that!"

"I wasn't trying to shut you up, Beatrice," I explain strongly. "Not for the reason you think, anyway. I need you to understand that Marcus Eaton is not Andrew Prior. What you did today won't sit well with my father and God knows what lengths I will have to go through to pacify him. Is it too much to ask you to refrain from being so controversial? All you had to do was go to the meeting and listen, Beatrice."

My breathing is heavy and I realize that I am entirely frustrated. I'm not mad at _her_. I'm terrified that she will unknowingly put herself in more danger than she can get herself out of, than _I_ can get her out of.

"I suppose it is," Beatrice snaps back. "Because I won't keep my mouth shut just because nobody wants to hear the truth." But that was the last thing I wanted to hear.

"Why do you defy me every chance you get?!," I blurt out exasperatedly. "I thought we talked about this!"

" _Defy you_?!" Beatrice yells back angrily.

"You argue with me about everything! Would it kill you every once in a while to just do as you're told?" But the words come out wrong and I realize that fretting over her wellbeing is compromising my sanity.

"I am not your child, Tobias! You don't get to order me around!"

"I swear, Beatrice, sometimes you just... aaaaahhhh!" I'm sure I growl, because I hear a deep and grave sound push past my throat, and I pull at the sides of my hair as I turn full circle.

I thought today would have been like any ordinary day; go to work, follow Marcus around the place, attend the council meeting, then come home to Beatrice. It should have been a simple, uneventful day. Yet here I am, fighting with Beatrice in the kitchen until it makes my head spin because all she wants to do is make a difference and all I want to do is keep her safe.

"Sometimes I just what?" She asks fearlessly. "It upsets you that I can make my own decisions? It upsets you that I can use my own mind to think for myself instead of making you or a council of blind leaders do it for me?" When I just stand there breathing heavily into my chest, she adds, "I respect my leaders. But right now their way of doing things makes me want to be anywhere else but Abnegation." Beatrice bites her lip at her confession, regretting having let the words slip.

"It doesn't matter," I reply, stressing each word. "Because this is where you are. You would do well to remember that."

"Well I'm sorry! Sitting down and doing nothing while the Erudite try to destroy our faction from every angle, that is _not_ who I am!"

"You don't think I know that, Beatrice?!" I retort.

I know exactly who she is. She's an untamed fire, ready to unapologetically burn through anything that stands in her way. She's strong and not afraid to fight for what she believes in. She isn't afraid to think or voice her opinions. And right then and there, standing in front of her, I suddenly realize why every moment I spend with her only makes me want more of her.

Beatrice is that one in a million that I thought I'd never find. She's a breath of fresh air in a city of pungency. She is none of the things I hate about my faction. She has more sense than a panel of fifty councillors. But making sense is the worst way one could try and fit into Abnegation.

"But I also know that the best way to get yourself in trouble is by asking the wrong questions and upsetting the wrong people," I continue ardently as I take a step closer to her. "And if _anyone_ is stupid enough to even _try_ and put their hands on you, I _will_ end them." I confess the words assuredly and without hesitation, knowing full well that the fire in her brings out the fire in me, a fire that I cannot seem to control.

I'm not sure how or when it happened, but I'm standing in front of her with only an inch between us and my hand wrapped around the back of her neck. Every part of me is close to her, closer than I've ever been, and with my eyes I beg her to just stop being so damn stubborn and just listen so that I can keep her safe. My heart races from fury, worry and adoration when I think about all that she is, all that she means to me, all that I would do to the person who dared to try and take her away from me or hurt her.

Beatrice looks up at me with unmistakeable passion in her eyes, and before I can think to press her harder into me, it's she who crashes into me, her lips suddenly attacking mine with sweet fervour. I can't resist her as weeks of pent up longing emerge from my core and bewitch me. I melt into her, my hands instinctively finding her back, pressing her closer into me. It's not enough. I want her closer, and I grab her by the waist and lift her up on the counter.

The scent of her skin against my face drives me wild, and I feel my heartbeat between my legs when her hungry hands dig into my hair, pulling my face into her own until I can barely breathe. Her legs wrap around my waist until there's more of her on me than there is on the counter, and my hand rushes lower down her back as I pull her up higher. Hungrily, my tongue searches for her own and I kiss her with a fury, unable to hold it back any longer. And her lips are sweeter than they ever were when I dreamt of her.

We kiss for too long yet not long enough, and neither of us willing to let go. Then Beatrice moans longingly into my lips and goose bumps rise on every inch of my arms when she begins to slow down the kiss, every glide of her soft, wet lips against mine driving me wild. The dance continues but it changes, and our lips, once hungry and lustful, are now gentle and sweetly steady, dancing ever so slowly to the rhythm of our passion, filled with enough emotion to ignite us both.

My lips chase after hers when she pulls away, and I feel a shudder as her hands trace down my face and around my neck. She rests her head on my shoulder, our bodies locked in a tight embrace. And I hold on to her for as long as I've ever wanted to. In that moment it doesn't matter to me that I shouldn't; I want her and I want her with all of me.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

 **TRIS**

I had expected it. I had felt it brewing, and when his body was that close to mine, when his breath was like sweet wind on my face, I couldn't not get closer. In a split moment I admitted to myself that I _wanted_ to kiss him, and it took nothing for my lips to act on their own, seeking out his with urgency, with hunger, with determination.

Who would have thought that only minutes before I had been furious with him. I had believed that with his chastising he had meant to quiet me, but only until I realized that he was being the passionately protective Tobias that I had come to know and adore in these past few days. And when he kissed me back as though his life had depended on it, I was certain that it wasn't just _my_ emotions that had grown out of proportion. And I was fond of it; the idea that he cared for me beyond what he dared to say, and I thought that right then and there would be when we both admitted that this relationship was no longer involuntary.

But there were no words to be said after that kiss.

Softly, Tobias had kissed me again before lifting me off the counter and gently setting my feet on the floor. I had wanted more of him, but far too quickly he was gone. He had promised me that he'd be back later, but my waiting proved to be in vain. I suppose he had wanted space, though I don't know what for. Space was the last thing I wanted between us. Space I have on this large bed that I alone occupy. And it's for nothing because I barely slept.

I passed the night thinking of him, thinking of how soft his lips were. They were sweeter even than the first time I had tasted them. And for the short while that I slept I had even dreamt of them, but only in the dream were they pressed elsewhere, everywhere.

I was tempted for most of the night to find my way downstairs and maybe even into the sofa with him, if only just to talk. But I didn't want to scare him with my newly acknowledged affection for him. He obviously had more difficulty than I did processing it all, so I figured it best to wait until morning.

With the light of the sun piercing through my bedroom window, I swing my legs over the side of the bed and sit myself up. Feeling brave, I take a deep breath and slide my feet into my shoes. I decide to wash my face and brush my teeth before heading downstairs, shamelessly hoping that this morning's conversation with Tobias will end favourably.

I leave the bathroom with my thumb nervously rubbing against my palms and my fingers, and I take quiet but resolute steps toward the stairs. I'm about to arrive at the mouth of it when I hear Tobias' voice and my foot stops mid-air. An unmistakeable voice answers him and my face twists in perplexity as I wonder how it is that Marcus always finds himself having clandestine conversations in other people's houses in the wee hours of the morning.

I'm careful not to make the same mistake I did the last time I heard extra voices coming from downstairs, and instead of trying to get closer, I choose to stay right where I am. Quietly, I crouch to the floor with both ears peeled open. That's when I hear Tobias again saying, "It's not that I don't appreciate it. I just don't understand the sudden change in timeline," the unease in his voice evident.

"I want you on the inside, Tobias. Especially now," Marcus answers sternly. "I thought we would have had more time but things are developing a lot faster than I had anticipated. And I need you to not do anything _stupid_ in the next few days."

And then there's an uncomfortable silence until Tobias asks, "It's true, isn't it? What Beatrice said at the council meeting?"

"There might be some truth to it," Marcus says after a while, not at all too eagerly. "Which is why the sooner you get ahead in this faction the better, Tobias. It is of the utmost importance that _nothing_ gets in the way of that."

Curious out of my mind, I listen so keenly that I'm almost sure I hold my breath. I'm not surprised that Marcus isn't ignorant of the situation at hand. I actually believe that he knows more than he is letting on. Why else would he be so eager to secure a leadership position for Tobias? What I don't understand is why he's so reluctant to share what he knows with his son who is to replace him. Undoubtedly, Tobias will find out at some point anyway.

"And nothing _will_ get in the way of that. The other councillors have already expressed their support of my position. I don't see any problem here," Tobias says, more strongly than I've ever heard him speak to his father. It's not hard to tell that he's uncomfortable with Marcus being here. I don't figure out why until Marcus sharply replies, "Your _wife_ is the problem! She will ruin _everything_ if you don't control her, Tobias. Do you think the people want a loud mouth as their leader's wife? I spent hours trying to clean up the _mess_ that she caused at that meeting." _  
_  
I gasp, and I have to stop myself from going down there and giving Marcus a piece of my mind, especially since that would only prove him right. And remembering the last time I decided to leave midway through a conversation between my husband and his father, I cross my arms in front of me and stay put, remembering how well that turned out for me.

Out of nowhere, Tobias begins to laugh. "You forced me to marry her because you thought she would be a quiet, docile Abnegation wife," he begins, "And now she's a problem because it turns out that she knows how to speak her mind?"

I almost want to laugh myself. The irony _is_ comical.

Marcus is immediately infuriated and I jump when he slams his fist into the kitchen counter. "She's a problem because you don't know how to control her!" He growls at Tobias. "You think I don't know that she's been spending her days volunteering and lollygagging with her mother? She spends more time outside of your house than she does inside of it. It's shameful!" I can hear the disgust in his voice and I roll my eyes at his pomposity. Marcus Eaton should be the very last person on what's left of this earth to charge _anyone_ with shameful acts.

"Well I fail to see the shame in it," Tobias growls back, making me smile just a little. "And if her husband doesn't have a problem with how she chooses to spend her day then it's no business of yours."

"Oh I will make it my business, Tobias," Marcus says slowly and threateningly. "You think I'm going to watch you destroy everything that I have built for you? You're foolish like a dumb child and you don't even deserve the opportunities I'm practically throwing at you. And you will listen to me when I tell you that you better learn to control that little bitch before she embarrasses you further. She needs to be disciplined and if you're too weak and pathetic to do it yourself then I'll do it for you."

I can't see, but I immediately hear Tobias' feet slam into the ground twice and then another hard bang of the wall, and then the dishes as they clatter inside the cabinet. I instantly stand to my feet, though I don't know what for. It's not like I'd be able to come between them if it came down to it.

"If you touch her, so help me God," Tobias seethes lowly, "It will be the last thing you ever do. I didn't ask to be a part of whatever political business you have up your sleeve, but you will leave her out of it. And don't you dare make the mistake of thinking that you can just come into my house and threaten my wife. And if you speak about her that way again, I _will_ make you regret it. Now get out my house."

My mouth opens wide and I press my palm against it in sheer disbelief. Tobias has never stood up to his father. But he did today… and he did that for me. My breathing picks up and my heart begins to race, knowing in absolute certainty that Marcus will retaliate. I clutch at my dress, afraid that a brawl might be brewing in my own kitchen and that I won't be able to do anything to stop it. But filled with adrenaline, I face my body towards the stairs, ready to race down and defend my husband if needs be.

"What the hell is wrong with you, boy?" Marcus suddenly shouts, and I hear dishes clattering again, louder this time. "Don't be so stupid as to think that I wouldn't still break my fist in your jaw."

"I dare you to try," Tobias says, sounding dark and completely unafraid.

For a long moment all I can hear is my heart beating in my ears, and then Marcus says, "Don't tell me you actually have feelings for that girl."

I hold my breath again with my hand clutched over my heart, longing to hear Tobias say yes. But he doesn't.

"I won't tell you again to get out of my house," is all he says.

Marcus stays quiet, and I hear his slow and heavy footsteps as he makes his way over to the living room. He lets out a grunt as he opens the front door, but he neither says nor does anything before walking out and slamming it behind him.

When I'm sure that he's gone, I come around the corner, bringing myself into view. But Tobias doesn't see me. He's still staring at the front door, his fists clenched at his side. I walk down the stairs slowly, and cautiously I come up behind him.

* * *

 **TOBIAS**

Just as Marcus is fully outside the door, I hear her soft footsteps behind me and I'm nowhere near foolish enough to believe it a coincidence.

"You heard that?" I ask her without turning around, my eyes still glued to the door. I'm not entirely sure that Marcus won't turn around and come barging back in with red-hot rage. He has never been one to simply concede when his pride has been wounded. I'm almost tempted to take Beatrice back upstairs where I know she'll be safe.

"Some of it," Beatrice says as she takes one final step toward me. "Are you ok?" she asks.

I smile a little, amazed that she'd be concerned about _me_ after only just now hearing my father avidly suggest that I discipline her. After the kiss we shared yesterday, I'm nervous to even look at her since I haven't seen her since, but I turn around slowly until my eyes connect with hers. There's a worry in them that I wish wasn't there and I immediately regret that she had heard whatever amount of that conversation that she had.

I reach for her hand but instead, my arm decides to reach higher until the back side of my hand is gently skimming the smooth, soft skin of her cheek. "Don't worry," I say to her. "I won't let him hurt you." It's a promise that comes too easily, one I know for certain that I will keep if even with my last breath.

Beatrice nods as she stares up at me with beautiful and longing eyes. "I know," she says.

She's standing close to me again, closer than she should considering that my hand is still on her. God knows what I'd do with it if I'd lose control again. I'd leave no inch of her body unexplored.

Knowing that I should, I tear my eyes away from hers and glance over at the kitchen. I sigh heavily into my chest when I see the mess I created. The clean dishes in the cabinet are toppled over from the force with which I had slammed Marcus against the wall. And the dishrack of the more recently washed dishware is on the floor, flung far away from where it sat. In his rage, Marcus had a go at it when he realized that I had finally discovered my own strength. I would have never imagined that all the while he was towering over me, I could have overpowered him if I had only dared to try.

Knowing that I should probably clean up, I let my hand fall to my side and I turn toward the tossed about dishes. Beatrice follows me as I start to make my way into the kitchen, and then she crouches beside me when I do, both our arms reaching to recover the fallen dishes from the floor. Luckily, there's nothing broken.

"I shouldn't have let him in," I say grudgingly, mostly to myself. "It's not like I didn't know what he came here for."

Beatrice just looks at me as I pick up the last of the dishes. I move jaggedly, overwrought from the adrenaline still coursing through my veins.

Suddenly her face falls. "I'm really sorry, Tobias," she says sincerely. "I meant what I said at the council meeting, but I never meant for this to happen. I'd never want to be the reason why Marcus tries to hurt you."

If she only knew that those were my thoughts exactly. _Anyone_ hurting her because of me has become my worst nightmare overnight. I was driven to madness when Marcus spoke about her the way he did and when he threatened to put his filthy hands on her.

We both stand to our feet again and I set the dishrack back in place. The minute my hands are off of it, they're on her, set on her tiny waist. I relish the feel of her body under my palms and I realize I've been dying to touch her since the second I let her go yesterday, knowing all too well that having her this close to me is like holding a bomb that could explode in my hands at any minute.

"You have nothing to be sorry about," I say firmly, "I'm the one who should be apologizing. I'm sorry I left so suddenly yesterday. I just needed to clear my head for a bit."

The truth is I had panicked. I was unnerved by how quickly I had lost control, how much I had wanted her. The feeling was remarkably foreign and stronger than anything I have ever felt. Even now, after spending all night reminding myself why I need to try harder to fight my thirst for her, here I am unable to keep my hands off her.

"Is that because of what happened just _before_ you went to take a walk?" Beatrice asks me softly. I sigh, knowing that she's referring to the fervid kiss we shared.

I nod. "I wanted to apologize for that too," I say as I look into her eyes. They immediately sink. "I shouldn't have lost control the way I did," I explain. "It won't happen again."

The words are entirely painful to say because now that I've tasted more of her, all I do is crave her. My eyes long to look at her the way my hands long to touch her the way my lips long to kiss her.

Beatrice takes a small step back, her face heavy. "Well I'm sorry too, since I'm the one who kissed you first," she says, her voice thick. "If it's not what you want then it won't happen again. I won't _defy_ you again." She says the words almost sarcastically, but the sadness in her voice overbears it.

"Beatrice, please understand," I say as I desperately grab at her hand when she tries to walk away. But of course she won't, and it's not her fault. There's so much I haven't told her about myself, past and present. There's still so much she doesn't know about Marcus and how hard he would try to hurt her to get to me. She doesn't understand the extent of the effect she has on me, turning me inside out, all control surrendered to my feelings for her. She doesn't understand that she makes me see black when all I should be seeing is grey. The last thing I want to do is hurt her, but caring so much about her is dangerous in its own way. Knowing that I won't be able to explain it all, all I say is, "It's complicated."

Her eyes square in on mine just a little. "I don't think it is, Tobias," she says as she gently tugs her hand away from me. And before turning around to return to the bedroom, she simply says, "And you didn't think so either when you were kissing me back."

Her words hit me like a blow to the chest, waking me up and taking me back to that sweet, perfect moment when there was nothing else in the world but us.

When her lips had parted around my tongue, when her chest was flush against mine, when my hands were clutching wantingly at her waist, there was no Erudite scandal. There was no Marcus. There were no thoughts of my dead mother and her factionless boyfriend. There wasn't a factional noose wrapped around my neck forcing me to oblige. There was just us; she in my arms and me holding all that I've ever needed. But then I remember that eventually I had to let go… and when I did, the world came back.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

 **TRIS**

I figure it best to leave the house for the morning. My disappointment in Tobias' rejection had left me looking entirely pitiful and I loathed the idea of him seeing me like that.

But I soon find that even being outside the house is emotionally draining. I don't miss the extra two seconds that the eyes of random passers-by linger on me as I walk through the streets. I'm sure most of them weren't even at the council meeting yesterday. So much for gossiping being selfish.

Normally I wouldn't care whether or not I was the topic of discussion. I was for a while already when Caleb transferred and then again when Tobias and I got married. But this time is different. This time I'm vulnerable.

I walk faster toward the person whose presence has never failed in making me feel stronger, although I don't pretend to disregard the fact that she might be upset about my outburst at the council meeting. I've spent most of my Saturday mornings volunteering with her as Marcus was well informed, and it's been wonderful being able to see her. There's no volunteer group headed out today, and I was initially glad for it when I woke up, thinking that my morning would have turned out differently. I didn't expect us to immediately fall into bed together, but I at least thought that Tobias and I would have talked about where we stood.

Forcing thoughts of him out of my head, I set a smile on my face and smooth down the sides of my hair as I walk up on the porch of my old home. I take a look around me before knocking on the door, seeing the eyes of several neighbours discreetly glancing peculiarly at me. I wonder which one of them told Marcus that I was excessively volunteering with my mother. I'd love to go tell them to mind their own business.

I don't knock twice before my mother opens the door. All thoughts that she might be upset with me are lost when her face beams with the purest smile the second she lays eyes on me. "Hello, Beatrice," she whispers, running her hand over my hair before pulling me into a hug.

I smile into her soft chest. "Hi, Mom," I say, and as I melt into her embrace I'm comforted and tormented at the same time. I hold her tight until I can blink the moisture from my eyes, and then pull back to look at her again; entirely glad to be close to her.

As she holds me in the doorway, my mother ignores the neighbouring eyes that would rather think that we don't see them watching us. And when she finally leads me inside, it's not by cause of their subtle nosiness.

Holding my hand, she leads me to the couch where I've sat only a million times, the couch where she and my father told me that I was to wed the son of Marcus Eaton. If someone had told me then that I'd grow to care for him the way I do now, I would have rendered them insane.

As I walk, my eyes wander around the house that I once called home. It looks the way it always has, like any other Abnegation house, like the house I live in now. So much so that I can see the exact spot on the kitchen counter where Tobias lifted me and kissed me until it felt like my skin was on fire.

When we've both sat down, my mother touches my cheek and with a small smile she says, "You look well, Beatrice. Tell me how you've been."

"You first," I say, returning to old habits. Being around my mother always brings out the Abnegation in me. All I want to do is pour out my heart and soul and tell her how much I'm hurting, but I shouldn't let the conversation stay focused on me for too long.

"I haven't spoken to you like this in so long, my dear girl. I want to hear about you. It is my gift to you," my mother says with her arm still wrapped around my shoulder, ever selfless.

I smile. "I've been ok," I lie, suddenly reluctant to spoil this precious moment with my sob story. "Where's dad?" I ask her when I realize that he's nowhere around. I was hoping to see him too.

"He got called in for an emergency meeting today," she says. When she sees the horror on my face, she explains, "It's not because of what happened at the meeting. They're preparing for the initiation ceremony and Tobias' ordination into the council."

I nod, feeling yet again guilty for what I'd done. I have no reason to. I spoke no lie. I don't care that I might be banned from the next three or so council meetings, since if my thoughts about the Erudite are correct, soon we might not even _have_ a council at all. It's just that I didn't consider those closest to me when I chose to open my mouth. In a way, it was selfish of me.

"Is he mad at me?" I ask her. "Because of what I did yesterday?"

"Hmm," my mother says softly and she shakes her head. I'm not convinced.

I look down and stare at my palms. "You can tell me if he is."

My mother's eyes travel over my face and she says, "Your father has been dealing with a lot lately, and yes, he would have preferred if you hadn't chosen that particular moment to voice your suppositions, but that doesn't mean he's angry with you, I promise."

I look up and stare at her for a short while, trying to figure out what else my father might have said, but I find that unfortunately, her face gives nothing away.

"Is he still upset about Caleb? Did you get to see him on visiting day? How was he?" I ask, suddenly concerned about my brother. I haven't thought about him in so long. I bite my lip as a tinge of shame pokes at me. I've been too consumed in my own troubles.

My mother sighs into her chest. "We didn't get to see your brother, Beatrice," she says.

"Why not? Was it because of the wedding?"

Visiting day was a few days after my wedding and I hadn't remembered it until it had already passed. There was so much on my mind at the time. Understandable, I suppose.

"No it wasn't," my mother answers. "The Erudite have prohibited Abnegation visitors from entering their compound. If we had tried, we would have been removed from the premises."

"What?" I demand, suddenly sitting up straight. "That's terrible!" I instantly imagine Caleb standing among the Erudite initiates, scanning the crowd for our mother, and I feel a pang in my stomach. Part of me is still angry with him for blindsiding me, but I don't want him to hurt.

"It is," my mother says. "But enough about your father and Caleb. How are you really, Beatrice? How is everything with Tobias?" My mother stares at me intently as if longing for an answer. I stare back into her green eyes, and with some unearthly motherly instinct, she sees past the pain in my eyes and arrives at the very root of it. "You're falling in love with him, aren't you?" she asks.

I'd say yes, but that would be a lie. I'm done falling. I'm already in love with him.

I nod with my eyes creeping away from her, wondering how it ever came to this. And then I sit there trying to pinpoint the exact moment when I fell in love with him. Maybe it was yesterday when his hands were clutching at my hair and his lips were feasting on mine. Or maybe it was long before that. Maybe I loved him the very second he blushed at me from across the dinner table. Maybe it was when he kissed me at our wedding and I felt as though my heart would burst. Maybe it was when he selflessly chose to be kind to me when all I did was torment him. Maybe it was the first time he walked through my front door.

I can't really tell when, because as far back as I can think, I've wanted him.

I'm staring off at nothing when the first tear drop rolls down my cheek. My mother twists her head around until she's in front of me, and with confusion and sadness in her eyes, she says, "I don't understand, Beatrice. Why does this upset you? It was always my intention for you and Tobias to fall in love."

I look up at her, suddenly remembering again when she first told me that Tobias would make a good match for me. I can't imagine how she would have known that, but she was right. Tobias is so much more than any man I ever thought I would find in Abnegation. Knowing that it will disappoint her just as much as it pains me to say it, my voice shrinks when I say, "I don't know if he loves me back."

My mother presses a comforting hand into my cheek. "Why would you say that?" she says. "I thought he looked quite taken with you when he came with you to community service. I saw the way he looked at you. I believe he cares deeply for you, Beatrice."

I shake my head and my hand clutches on to hers where it's pressed into my face. I want to explain everything to her, but I feel fear, shame and hurt crawl up from deep inside me all at once. My mother would be ashamed of me if she knew how I treated Tobias during the first weeks of our marriage. I have no one else to blame for his reluctance but myself.

"Beatrice," my mother pleads with me, her face solemn. "Tell me everything."

I remember the moment in my room before I met Tobias when my mother asked me if this was what I wanted. I remember the minutes we spent together in the kitchen when she grinned instead of chastising me for insulting Marcus. Those moments when my mother was as unabnegation as I've ever seen her were the moments when I felt safest with her, when I knew that I could tell her anything.

So I tell her everything.

I start at the beginning. From the conversation I overheard at the wedding to the chopped hair in his clothes and extra salt in his food. I tell her how hard he had tried to be civil and how hard I had tried to make him miserable. I tell her about the back and forth and the fighting up until I realized how wrong I was about him. I stop at the truce and decide not to mention the kiss.

"Well if you made peace with one another, then what's wrong?" my mother asks. She wipes the tears from my cheeks.

"I don't know what's going on in his head," I confess. "Sometimes I think he has feelings for me too, and then other times it's like he's keeping me at a distance. And it hurts so much having him be nice to me because I'm confused. I don't know if he's only doing it because he thinks it's his job as my husband, or if it's because he really wants to. It all feels just as bad as when we were fighting."

"What does your heart tell you, Beatrice?" is all my mother asks me at the end of my frantic lamenting.

My heart answers immediately, reminding me of the look in his eyes just before we kissed, the hunger with which his lips searched for mine, and the gentle yet wild grasp of his strong hands around my waist. I had known it then, and I could feel that he had known it too.

"That he feels the same way about me," I answer.

Tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, "Good," she says with a smile.

My mother pulls me into her and softly she runs her hand down my arm, over and over again to comfort me. "Mom, how did you know that I would love him?" I ask her.

"I knew Tobias' mother well," she says, her chin resting on my head. "After she passed I took it upon myself to watch over him for her. Unfortunately, when I realized that Tobias was being mistreated, I could not intervene."

I sit up again when I realize that my mother was the one other person that Tobias said knew about Marcus.

"I had hoped that the boy would defect," my mother continues, "but for some reason he returned home. So I continued caring for him, and while doing so I saw things in him, things that I've also seen in you." She places her hand on my hair this time, and gently she strokes it. "With time, Beatrice, you will come to see that you and Tobias are alike in so many ways. And if you allow them to, even your differences can bring you closer together. I don't believe that there is a man in Abnegation better suited for you than he is."

Once upon a time I would have thought that my mother couldn't possibly be more wrong. But I was present as the relationship between Tobias and me had evolved from tolerance into friendship and then into something even deeper. Why it all changed yesterday after that meeting, after that kiss, is beyond me. We were closer than we've ever been only for him to pull away from me afterwards.

"If that's true then why is he pushing me away?" I ask. But I do have my theories. One of them being that he wishes I was more like Emily, quiet and docile. As much as he feels for me, he'd be right to think that I'd fail miserably in being the leader of Abnegation's wife. Loving me would make his life exceedingly difficult. "Is it me?"

"No, Beatrice," my mother answers immediately and firmly. "You must understand that ever since his mother died, Tobias has had no one to trust. It's his first instinct to hide and push people away, keep them at a distance. I know this because it took so long before he warmed up to me. So don't be too quick to think that it's because you did something wrong."

I shake my head and say, "After everything I've done, I can't really dismiss the possibility."

My mother sighs. "Have you tried talking to him? Or asked him what's stopping him from getting close to you?"

"No," I answer.

She smiles a little and with her hand landing on my cheek again, she gently ushers me to look at her. "Well maybe you should start there," she says, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

I nod, but obvious or not, it might not be the easiest thing. I had no idea how much frustration Tobias was holding in until the very first time he lashed out. If I wasn't looking closely enough, I wouldn't have noticed the way he would recede into a shell when his father was around. And even in the best moments we've shared, he has rarely verbally expressed anything of his personal life to me. Most of what I know is what I gathered on my own.

Although under Abnegation roofs, we both grew up so differently. And while the art of communication is not the strong suit of any Abnegation born, I imagine with Tobias it's even more lacking. The first woman he ever loved left him. It wasn't by choice, but she left him. And he was raised by a man who never warranted his love or his trust.

Knowing that he still managed to become the man that he did despite his dire past makes me love him that much more.

"Things are changing in the city, Beatrice," my mother says to me. "Tensions between our faction and the Erudite are higher than ever. I wish it wasn't that way, but it is. And you and Tobias will need each other now more than ever. Take care of each other, and keep each other safe. And that means understanding each other."

"It's true, isn't it?" I ask her, pinching my eyebrows together. "The Erudite _are_ gonna try and overthrow us."

She nods slowly. "It's possible that they're trying to make us step down."

I feel my heartbeat accelerate in my chest at her confirmation. Just the thought of Erudite rule makes me envision a cold and calculated world, one in which the ways of my faction will lead to their own extinction.

I'd ask myself if the Erudite want to assume control of the city because of some greater purpose or if they just want to rule because their narcissistic nature drives them to believe that it's their right. But unfortunately, I already have more questions than I do answers in this rapidly evolving plight. One of them being, "What else aren't you telling me, Mom?"

I ask the question firmly, letting her know that I've already gathered that she already knew about the Erudite's intentions even before I decided to open my mouth at that councillors' meeting.

My mother bites her bottom lip the way I sometimes do when I'm nervous. "We believe it has something to do with certain members of our faction," she answers. "People who are… different."

"Different how?"

She twists her head to the side. "I think you know how," she says. But I don't and I tell her that I don't. "What were the results of your aptitude test, Beatrice?" she then asks me.

My eyes open wide at her question, and I fail to withhold the dread that suddenly surfaces from inside me. I was told to not tell anyone, and of course I never believed that that included my mother, but the fact that she already knows is more than a little troubling. "It's ok. You can tell me," she says when I'm left shell-shocked for too long.

I swallow the lump in my throat. "They were inconclusive," I say softly, though we're alone in the house.

"Divergent."

The word feels like a blow. Apart from that day, I've never heard it spoken out loud. I nod slowly to confirm her suspicion. I become more curious than I am frightened, wondering if she could give me the answers that I've been looking for all this while.

"Do you know what it means?" my mother asks me.

I shake my head. "Not really. All that the woman told me was that I have aptitude for multiple factions and that I need to not tell anyone because it wouldn't be safe for me if others knew. She told me to disguise myself into whatever faction I chose."

Maybe I haven't been doing such a great job of that if my mother was able to pick up on it. I suppose I never gave much importance to the Dauntless woman's warning since I've learned that being Abnegation means harbouring useless secrets and telling useless lies. It's exhausting.

"Why isn't it safe for people like me?" I ask. "Why is divergence dangerous?"

"It's not," my mother says. "But the Erudite do feel threatened by it. They believe that the Divergent might rise up against the factions, demanding change and disrupting order. You don't fit into any one faction, and if you can't completely conform then you're unpredictable. To the Erudite, unpredictability is unnerving."

I nod, immediately understanding their desire for control. If they're in charge of the government, they can easily dictate what happens to people like me. I suddenly wonder how many of us there are. I always thought I was the only one who could not conform, forced to wear a shoe that didn't quite fit.

"What do you think they'll do with us if they find us?"

Nothing good, I imagine.

"Don't concern yourself with such things just yet, my dear," my mother says firmly, leaving no room for argument. "Just concentrate on making things right with your husband for now. How futile it is to guard your home from the war outside when it's already burning down from the inside."

I nod again, fully accepting that she's right. If something this big is happening and Tobias is to be a part of the government that the Erudite wish to overthrow, then I have to be there for him. I _want_ to be there for him and I want him to be there for _me_. If our world is to come to an end, there's no one else I would rather have fighting at my side when it does. But my face suddenly sinks when I ponder that he might not feel the same way. Tobias is strong all on his own. Want me or not, he may not need me.

"Even if we do talk," I begin quietly. "I can't make him open up to me. I don't know if he ever will, especially after everything I've done."

My mother pulls me into her chest again, and the grey of her blouse turns to black when it's stained by tears. "No, my dear girl," she says to me. "Don't punish yourself for the wrongs you've already done. I know in my heart that Tobias has already forgiven you. Now all that is left is for you to forgive yourself so that you can both move forward and grow. And grow you will, because love can only be contained for so long."

I relax in my mother's arms. There's a comfort there that is unlike any other. I don't believe she's ever held me this tight or for this long, and I draw strength from it. I don't ever want to let her go, but I accept that I must because I have to return to my husband. No matter what it takes, I won't give up on us before we've even had a fair chance. I will let him in until he knows that it's safe for him to let me in too.

* * *

 **A/N: I continue to receive an amazing amount of support for this story and I will never cease to say Thank You :) The support means a lot to me and keeps me writing. I'd like to give a very special Thank You to** **leannemeister5** **for being my 100** **th** **fave on Divergent Love Stories and** **FDFobsessed** **for reading and reviewing as you go along! For those of you who haven't checked out DLS, please do. Give Alex a chance :) And Bamberlee! Because she is amazing and fills my days with joy, my head with ideas, and my chapters with commas lol Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

 **TRIS**

Most of Abnegation is present in the great room of the City Hall. There is grey as far as the eye can see, but I don't think to look around me too often. It would be in my best interest to not draw unnecessary attention to myself, especially after last week's council meeting. No one stares at me, and if I didn't know any better I would think that day was long forgotten. But I do know better, so I keep my head down and my eyes focused on my lap like I'm supposed to. The Abnegation aren't one to have anyone fail initiation, but I'd rather not push my luck.

The ceremony is a short and simple one. Other factions would use this opportunity to celebrate their initiates, but our initiation ceremony consists only of a speech done by our deranged leader who welcomes us into a life of service, and we, the initiates, standing to take our vows by reciting the manifesto; pledging to a life of selflessness.

I only look up when it's time to stand, and slowly we all take our places in the centre of the platform. And for the second time in my life, I stand and pledge lies in front of my faction.

Our voices echo in the great room as in unison we say, "I will be my undoing if I become my obsession. I will forget the ones I love if I do not serve them. I will war with others if I refuse to see them. Therefore I choose to turn away from my reflection, to rely not on myself but on my brothers and sisters, to project always outward until I disappear."

Susan stands to my right, and she stands so close to me that I can practically feel the warmth of her body. For a small second, she turns to look at me and smiles shyly before looking away again. It's a comforting gesture, almost as if she wants me to know that she's here for me. I imagine if we were both born in another faction, Susan and I would be best friends. We might have been best friends in this faction too, if only I were Abnegation enough.

When I turn to look, I see my mother's face in the crowd, and as far away as I am, I can see the sparkle of pride in her eyes. Her faith in me gives me the faintest hope that maybe I could grow to be selfless the same way I grew to love Tobias only _after_ I had pledged myself to him at our wedding.

There's only light applause as we return to our seats for the rest of the ceremony, which thankfully goes by quickly. And then it's Tobias' turn. Councillor Taylor, with unmistakeable approval on his face, calls for Tobias to come forward.

It's not often a new councillor is sworn in, and the faction looks on in awe as Tobias is led by his father and mine to be presented to the faction. He stands strong and tall, painfully handsome. Only _I_ notice the firm way in which he makes eye contact with his father, never flinching while at his side. I smile, feeling proud knowing that Tobias has overcome one of his greatest demons.

All that's left now is for him to let me in completely, and then nothing will be able to stop us from becoming what we were always meant to be.

After I returned from my parents' house, Tobias and I did talk, though I did most of the talking. I told him I'd never force him to explain anything to me if he weren't ready to, but that I'd always be ready to listen. He did thank me and he promised me he would always only do what he thought was best for me.

We haven't spoken about the kiss again after that day, but I've done my best to make him feel comfortable at home, hoping one day he'll wake up and finally realize that _he_ is what's best for me.

Firmly, he states his vows in front of our faction. Every word is true to him, but it comes as no surprise to me. Tobias has always been selfless. Always. But not the kind of blind selflessness that is a conditioned act of duty rather than a true and meaningful sacrifice of self. And with whatever evil is to come, he is the only one I believe can lead us through.

When it's all over, I make my way to the edge of the platform and I wait for him.

* * *

 **TOBIAS**

I notice her before I notice anything else. She wears grey like they all do, but her smile is radiant and it lights up everything inside me.

I make my way toward her, and Beatrice waits for me patiently at the edge of the platform. She now stands as an official member of Abnegation and I can't help but feel proud and incredibly relieved. For a moment I was terrified that the happenings of the last councillors' meeting would somehow cost her, but thankfully she was pardoned, though solely on the account of being my wife.

Before yesterday, I was completely ignorant of what my rights would be as a councillor. But now that I've been made aware, I understand why my father was so adamant on making sure I secure a position. With things getting worse for the faction by the minute, one would definitely be better off in a position of power as opposed to being a regular citizen. And as a councillor and member of the government, I can be an active part in the decision making from now on, putting me in a better position to advise the others. Hopefully then, between myself, Taylor, Andrew and Marcus, we can convince them to take a more active approach against the Erudite. Although, if we're not quick enough, with the way the Erudite are attacking us, the power we hold might soon be worth naught.

But truthfully, what I'm most glad for is that at least for now, I am much better able to protect Beatrice.

"Congratulations, Councillor," she says to me with a small smile when I arrive in front of her. I yet again fail to understand just how she manages to be the most beautiful woman in the room while wearing the exact same clothes, the exact same bun in her hair.

"Congratulations to you too," I reply with a smile. "You're not a dependent anymore." But Beatrice looks as half excited about being a member as I feel about being a councillor. It would seem as though we're both so busy being proud of the other that we fail to recognize and be proud of our own achievement. Abnegation at its finest.

Beatrice shrugs, though she still wears a smile.

I honestly thought I had ruined things between us, kissing her the way I did and then disappearing only to return and tell her that it was a mistake, all while giving her no explanation. I expected things would have been uncomfortable in the house, but instead Beatrice has been a true angel.

When we spoke about it, she seemed so understanding and willing to give me whatever time I need to sort everything out in my head. She told me she understood that there was a lot on my mind; my new position, my father, the Erudite and whatever it is that they're up to. And she promised me she'd always be ready to listen whenever I needed to talk.

Ironically, it only makes me want her more. I've never known anything like this; someone wanting to share my burdens with me, doing everything they can to make the load lighter. I constantly tell myself that I can't want this, I just can't expose her to the chaos that is my reality, but with Beatrice being everything I have ever needed, it's getting harder and harder to convince myself of that.

Suddenly I hear his voice, and Beatrice immediately turns to look in his direction. Marcus is speaking to her father, and Beatrice lets out a heavy breath as I imagine she ponders on their conversation. Her just now happy demeanour is gone, and her face becomes drenched with worry.

Marcus has been smart to not approach either of us today, but unfortunately I can't stop him from speaking to another councillor at an event such as this one. I remember then the thoughts that had crossed my mind when I was informed of my rights as a councillor. I had only thought of Beatrice and the fact that she and her family could be set free from Marcus if she ever wanted them to be.

It was the most confused I'd ever felt in my life. I knew that I wanted to keep her, but then beyond want I felt I _needed_ to keep her. I also thought it would only be fair to tell her that she could leave if she wanted to, but absolutely not wanting to because I don't ever want her to leave me. All this while trying to remember if it was that I couldn't or shouldn't want her, and knowing that it didn't matter anyway because I _did_ want her. I _do_ want her.

"I wanted to talk to you about something," I say with only half of me, bringing her attention back to me. "I know you overheard what Marcus said to me the other day, and I know he's made a lot of threats to you and your family. It bothers you just as much as it bothers me when he's around." I speak quietly since there are still other members around. "But I just wanted you to know that he can't do any of the things he's threatened to do. Not while I'm a member of this council."

Beatrice only nods, but she listens keenly.

"And given the circumstances under which we were married," I continue softly, "I think I should tell you that if you ever decide it's not what you want, my written statement about Marcus would be enough to annul the marriage."

Beatrice presses her eyebrows together, but she doesn't look upset. "Why would you think I would ever want to? Do _you_ want me to go?" Beatrice asks me, but not timidly. It's almost as if she's daring me to just come out and confess that I want her and that I want her for all the days of eternity.

"I want you to be wherever it is you want to be," I say.

"Then I'm not going anywhere, Tobias," Beatrice says as she takes a step closer to me. "I'm exactly where I want to be. Marcus or no Marcus."

And then, standing in that pool of Abnegation, I suddenly wish they would all disappear so that I could kiss her again. But then I'm grateful they _are_ there, so that I can't. I don't want to give Beatrice mixed signals. I need to stand by what I say. Easier said than done of course, since that would require me to actually mean what I say.

I smile a little and Beatrice does too, and then together we make our way out of the City Hall and head home; that place where she so often makes me forget there is a world outside of it, that place where my thoughts leave us in peace.

* * *

I find him exactly where I expected to; leaning up on the brick wall in the grimy alley. He pushes himself off with his right foot and turns to me when he sees me approaching. Then he takes a couple steps to meet me farther up.

Imagine my surprise when I arrived at my front door after the ceremonies only to find a note from Maddox Kade shoved under it. I was lucky Beatrice hadn't seen it, or I might've been forced to explain who this man was. And that would've been fine if it never meant mentioning my mother or her death. I snuck away, using the excuse that I had forgotten something at the City Hall and needed to retrieve it. I hated lying to her, but telling the truth would have been just as difficult.

"Good to see you again, Tobias," he says to me with a small smile and with his arms crossed. "I wasn't sure if you'd actually come." Kade, yet again, looks like nothing of the factionless. This time he wears dark jeans with a crisp light blue dress shirt.

"You said you had something important to tell me," I reply matter-of-factly and with a nod.

Kade only smiles. "Well first of all, allow me to extend my congratulations, Councillor," he says. He extends a hand to me and I reach out and take it, although I know nothing of handshakes. I've been told it's a common greeting among the Dauntless and that as a councillor I should take that into consideration when speaking to their leaders.

"Thank you," I reply while making my first attempt at a proper handshake. Kade's grip is strong and I mimic it.

"I wasn't aware you were running for the position," he then says.

"How would you though?" I ask. "Or do you frequently concern yourself with the unbearable excitement of Abnegation politics?"

Kade doesn't miss the sarcasm in my voice; a tone of voice I learned from Beatrice. His head tilts to the side and he laughs. "Oh, but there's plenty I concern myself with. For example, I heard your wife caused quite the ruckus at the last councillors' meeting."

I feel my body tense at the mention of Beatrice, and my voice comes out sounding like a growl when I say, "I'd rather you not talk about my wife."

The mood immediately darkens and Kade's grin is now flat. He lifts his chin up a little higher. "Well unfortunately we're gonna have to because that's actually why I called you here," he says. He looks behind me before saying, "I've been keeping tabs on the Erudite for a while now. I've always suspected some shady business on their part, but I started digging deeper the minute I realized they were looking to overthrow Abnegation. I wanted to be prepared in the event that we'd need to intervene."

I'm too curious to challenge his suspicions. Instead, I raise my eyebrows. "We?" I ask.

"The factionless," Kade answers firmly.

I'm about to laugh but then I search his face for the punchline and I don't find it. "No offense," I begin when I realize he's serious. "But why would we need the factionless of all people to intervene on our behalf?"

"No offense, but I just never thought anyone in Abnegation would actually figure out what the Erudite were up to, much less want to do something about it. Imagine my surprise when your wife proved me wrong," he says, his voice almost as if in awe. "She's right, though. And I know you know she's right."

I don't nod or blink or let past any sign that I agree or disagree with him. I just ask, "Where do you get your information?"

"I have eyes and ears in most places," Kade says. That would explain how he knows where I live. "I haven't been able to get as much intel on the Erudite as I would like to though. Jeanine keeps things pretty locked up. She only trusts those in her immediate circle, a hand-picked few. But the information I do have is enough to make me certain they're out for blood, though we don't know how or when."

I step a little closer and shake my head. This time I do disagree with him. "They want to take control of the government," I say.

"And you don't think they'd resort to violence to do so?"

"Violence isn't their style," I say. "They're far more likely to do exactly what they're doing now; manipulate _us_ and the people of this city until they get what they want."

He nods. "You're right about that, and that was my initial thought as well. But my main informant has assured me that among the Erudite there has been repeated talk of the city being better without Abnegation." Kade shakes his head and says, "No one talks like that without motive. It's like they're warming everyone up for what's to come; getting them used to the idea."

I consider the last encounter I had with my father, where apart from making the regrettable mistake of insulting my wife, he mentioned 'things' with the Erudite were developing a lot faster than he had anticipated. I do believe that he, unlike Kade, knows _exactly_ what those 'things' are. But of course he never saw it fit to share it with me.

"How reliable is this source?" I ask firmly.

"Very," Kade answers. "And considering I've known Jeanine to be willing to take a less than diplomatic action if it meant achieving her goal, I don't put it past her at all."

I consider this for a minute. Although I've heard nothing good of the woman, it's not in the pattern of behaviour of the Erudite to get their hands dirty. So I ask, "But wouldn't that be a bit overzealous? If her goal is to seize control of the government, she can do that without physically attacking the Abnegation."

"Aaaah. That's because there are other things on the agenda," he clarifies. "The Erudite are under the impression that the Abnegation are hiding Divergents."

I stiffen yet again, my arms hanging uncomfortably at my sides. I haven't heard that word spoken by anyone since my aptitude test two years ago. Marcus had warned me even before I took it that there was a possibility I might be aware during the test, and to say that I wasn't in the event someone would ask. I _was_ asked, and I said no, but the Dauntless woman saw right through me. She told me what I was and told me to never tell a soul. And though I never imagined that one day my faction would be punished for harbouring people like me, I always knew being Divergent was a dangerous thing. So much so that even when Marcus asked me about it, I lied to him. I didn't trust him so I told him I was unaware for the entire test.

Kade doesn't seem to notice my surprise at the mention of Divergents, but assuming that I know what he's talking about he continues to say, "They believe the greatest percentage of Divergents are living in Abnegation. So while they snatch power from the ruling body, they will also eliminate what they have deemed as a threat. Think of it as killing two birds with one stone."

I almost laugh. If there is any other Divergent living in Abnegation, I certainly have never met them. And I also wonder, "Why do the Erudite think Divergents are so much of a threat that they would want to eliminate them?"

"I don't know. But the Erudite have been at this for some time now. When I was still a part of Dauntless I would see them around, checking out the initiates. They'd single a few of them out, and pretty soon no one would see them again. It's one of the reasons I left Dauntless," he continues to explain. "I didn't know why then, but certain people just… disappeared."

It makes sense; Kade being born into Dauntless. It explains his mannerisms, the sometimes strong and then other times comfortable way in which he postures himself. Although his hygiene _is_ closer to that of an Erudite's.

"What was the other reason?" I ask out of sheer curiosity. Of what little I know of him, Kade doesn't seem like the type to run away from danger. Unless of course, he had felt targeted for his own reasons. "If you don't mind me asking, of course," I say when I realize that the question came out of nowhere.

"My uncle," Kade answers with a peculiar smile. "He started going coocoo and they kicked him out. Although I was only twenty years old at the time, I couldn't find it in my heart to leave him to fend for himself since he was the only one of his brothers who at least made an attempt to raise me after my father died."

I nod, suddenly feeling a strange sort of sympathy for the old man who attacked my wife. Abnegation may not have the resources or programs in place to properly care for our elderly, but we certainly don't kick them out of the faction.

"Anyway," Kade says sharply. "I wanted to see you because I wanted to make sure you were aware that your faction has a target on its back. I also wanted to be sure you'd be able to protect yourself in the event that it all really does go down." He reaches behind him, and from the waist of his jeans he pulls out what I soon realize is a gun. Handing it to me he says, "I'm almost sure you've never held one of these before, but it's pretty simple. You aim and shoot."

But I don't take the gun from his extended hand. Instead, shocked out of my mind, I ask, "What is this?"

"It's a gun."

"I know what it is," I retort strongly. "What I don't know is why you're giving it to me." Dauntless are the only ones allowed to own or carry weapons since they are the faction in charge of defence, though I'm not sure against what. Kade must have held on to his when he left.

He stares at me in utter confusion. "I'd rather you have it and not need it than need it and not have it," he says. And then urging it closer to me he pleads, "Tobias… please take the gun."

I stare at him for a short while and the apprehension in his eyes is unmistakeable. He really believes I might need it, and honestly, I'm not completely sure I won't. So, hesitantly, I reach forward and wrap my hand around the handle and I take it. The gun is heavy in my hand, and the metal is cold. It feels strange to hold something of such power in my hand. I'm not sure if I should thank him.

"Be careful, Tobias," Kade adds as I stuff the gun inside my coat. "And tell your wife to do the same. You're both in danger."

As usual, my body reacts at the mention of Beatrice. I give Kade a cold eye though I don't mean to. Just the idea of her being in danger is enough to propel me into attack mode. "Why would you assume that?" I ask, understanding exactly what he's inferring; that Beatrice and I are Divergent.

He raises an eyebrows at me and says, "Because Abnegation don't punch people in the face or call out an entire council of their leaders on their bullshit."

Kade continues to stare at me with his mouth slightly open, his eyes asking me why I would even bother to deny the obvious. But then and only then do I see it and I wonder how in the world did I not see it before. I've always known that Beatrice is not painstakingly Abnegation, but I only assumed that on the day of her choosing she had denied the coals though they called to her. Divergence never crossed my mind. And if Kade, who knows so little of us, could have so easily identified that, then God knows who else hasn't already connected the dots.

"You really didn't know?" Kade asks me after a while, reading my thoughts. But I'm somewhere between too shocked and too perturbed to answer. "Can I give you some advice?" he asks, but he doesn't wait for me to reply. "She's pretty special, that wife of yours. And I know you know that because you look like you're about to lose your shit every time I mention her. Just keep her close. Leave nothing unsaid or undone. Because, God forbid, if something should ever happen to her, regret will kill you faster than the Erudite will." And that's the last thing Kade says before walking back inside the old building, leaving me with a conspiracy theory, a gun, a revelation, and the feeling that in the end he wasn't just talking about me and Beatrice.

* * *

 **A/N: And Kade returns! Hope you guys liked this chapter. I know you're all anxious for some more Four/Tris. I wont give anything away... all I'll say is... it only goes uphill from here ;)**


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

 **TOBIAS**

I walk quickly, but I still get home much later than I had expected. I slip off my shoes and leave my coat on the rack, and then I take a quick look around. When I don't see Beatrice downstairs, I take the opportunity to take the gun from my coat pocket and hide it in the kitchen cupboard. I put it behind the plates and push it as far back as I can, knowing her fingers won't ever find themselves that far.

When I glance back at the dinner table, I see there's a covered plate where I usually sit and I lift the cover to find a sandwich there. It's strange, since Beatrice usually waits for me and we'd have dinner together. It's far more likely she never ate at all. I suppose she might not have been hungry since she was home a lot earlier than I was instead of being out meeting secret acquaintances.

Suddenly feeling bothered by the sweat on my skin, I swallow the sandwich quickly with a glass of orange juice and make my way up the stairs to the bathroom. On the way there, I think to knock on the bedroom door to let Beatrice know I'm home, but I decide instead to check on her as soon as I'm done.

I shower for too long, enjoying the feel of the cool water as it rushes down my skin. It helps to clear my thoughts which are too plagued with perturbing information; the possibility of a hostile Erudite takeover, Beatrice being Divergent, factionless men with guns. It's by sheer force alone I bring myself to leave the shower and put my sleeping garments on.

As I walk to Beatrice's bedroom, I consider Kade's words. He made it all seem so simple. And maybe it is. I've been trying so hard to protect her from me when there are worse things at play. And how can I protect her from _anything_ if I'm too busy fighting the way I feel for her instead of fighting _for_ her? Why would I have such a special woman in my life and not cherish her with everything I have? And he was right; I would never forgive myself if anything ever happened to Beatrice. I suddenly feel like a fool.

I arrive at her door wanting nothing but to see her, but before I can manage to knock, I hear the sound of soft sniffling coming from the room. I stop breathing when in a quick second I realize she's crying, and my mind immediately starts running wild trying to figure out why.

If Beatrice is hurt it might be my fault. It's no secret to me that she has feelings for me too, and I was actually stupid enough to push her away. Maybe it's because of this morning when I asked her if she wanted to leave. Or it might be because our city is slowly falling apart. I don't know, but whatever the reason, her sobbing feels like deep stabs through my chest.

At first I think she might want to be alone, but physically unable to tear myself away from the bedroom door and leave her there, I decide to go in.

I knock and softly call out her name, but she goes quiet. Still, I slowly turn the knob and push the door open and she comes into view. Beatrice lies in the bed, her face turned toward the door and her body under a sheet from the neck down. Her eyes are red and swollen, pressed against her tear-stained pillow.

The sight of it breaks my heart and I feel weak all of a sudden. Seeing her like this reminds me too much of the horrifying days when I would watch my mother cry after everything Marcus had said and done to her.

I'm kneeling by her bedside in a second and my hand finds her cheek. Slowly wiping away the tears, I whisper her name. "Beatrice," I say. Her eyes find mine and suddenly the tears become thicker. It almost paralyses me.

"What's wrong?" I plead. "Is it me? Did I do something wrong?"

She quickly shakes her head. "It's not you, Tobias," she says softly, but I can't help but think she's lying.

"Then what is it?" I ask.

Slowly, Beatrice slides over on the bed and invites me to sit. When I do, she brings herself up higher on the bed, but still not quite sitting up. Her head rests beside the higher part of my hip. She hesitates for a minute, but then she says, "It's official now. I'm a member of Abnegation."

I bring one leg up on the bed and turn a little to face her more. Then my arm finds itself creeping down her hair, running all the way down her neck and around her shoulders. "I don't understand," I say, a little confused. "Why does that make you cry?"

"Because I hate it here," she answers softly, and I'm almost sure I hear shame in her voice. "Because I wish my brother had stayed so _I_ could have left. I'm not good enough for Abnegation. I wanted to be Dauntless." She looks up at me when she says the last part, knowing it's a grave confession.

I nod as I rub her hair again. "I know," I say.

"How?" she asks curiously.

The smile comes easily when I say, "I think I knew it from the moment you back talked my father at dinner." The memory is sweet and it brings back all the amazing emotions that had run through me that evening.

"I guess I haven't done such a great job at hiding it, huh?" she asks with a small smile.

I continue to smile back, looking deep into her eyes. It always amazes me how her eyes can seem blue one minute and then grey the next. They're so beautiful and they pull me in.

"It's easy to see when you think about it," I begin to say without thought. "You're fierce… and strong. You're not afraid to stand up for yourself or the people you care about. And you're not afraid to speak up when you know something's not right." But she is so much more than anyone could ever imagine, so much more than I could ever put into words.

"I'm not so sure that's a good thing anymore," she says, dejected. "Not while I'm a part of this faction."

I nod, understanding completely. It isn't wrong to feel and act out the way she does, it's just not of Abnegation. Whereas the Dauntless wouldn't stand for what's happening to our faction the same way she can't. The same way _I_ can't.

I once thought Beatrice needed to understand I was no good for her. But I was wrong. There's no one else who can understand her like I can; living in a place where she doesn't quite fit in, yet trying so hard to. She's just like me; supressing the fiercer side of herself, hiding it under her grey robes.

Thing is, there _is_ a bit of grey in us too, and I don't know how I never saw it before; her divergence. I just always thought she chose the wrong faction, not that she belonged in both. But it's so clear to see now; the way it took nothing from her to feel remorse, the way she so easily takes care of me. There is no selfish pride in her. She is the most beautiful blend of strength and humility.

It's terrifying knowing she could be in danger; more terrifying than the fact we could lose control of the city. I'm certain her parents have already figured out her secret, assuming it wasn't her who told them. But I've seen how much they love her, so them knowing is not my concern. My concern is anyone else who might have figured it out and would dare to expose or harm her. They best pray I never find them, because I would do anything to protect Beatrice. Anything.

I would ask her about it but I'd rather wait for her to tell me when she trusts me. I suppose that's not something you just ask someone. Being Divergent is too dangerous a thing, especially now that I know we're being targeted.

"Can I ask why you stayed?" I ask instead, my fingers still slowly tracing down her hair.

"My parents," she answers quickly. "When Caleb chose Erudite I felt like I had no choice. I couldn't bear the thought of them grieving us both." She shakes her head a little. "I'd do anything to keep them safe. They're the only reason I agreed to this marriage. But you already knew that," she says the last part softly.

I suddenly feel a pang of guilt. In that moment I can't accept that I did all I could to stop it from happening. Maybe if I had tried hard enough I would've found a way to keep her with her family and out of this marriage. As much as I want her, I want her to be happy.

"Yet you don't think you're good enough for Abnegation?" I say. "The girl who married a complete stranger to save her parents isn't selfless?" Sure, Marcus' threats were void. But she didn't know that then and neither did I.

"It wasn't hard, really," she says with a shrug. "My parents are amazing people. They would have done the same for me." I nod a little. I'll never forget what her father did for me the night we had dinner. He was kind, kinder than my own father has ever been to me. And Natalie has been nothing short of an angel to me in the latter part of my life. "And honestly, this might have been my only shot at marriage anyway," Beatrice adds with a slight chuckle. This time I'm hesitant to agree. Instead I ask, "Why would you say that?"

"Look at me," she begins. "I'm not pretty. I—"

But I cut her off with a sideways look and a laugh, a deep laugh.

"Don't pretend, Tobias" she says breathily. "You know I'm not. I'm not ugly, but I am certainly not pretty."

Removing my arm from around her, I bring up my second leg and set myself lower down on the bed until I'm lying on my side, my head propped up by my elbow. I stare at her in sheer amazement and mentally curse the Abnegation for having denied her the right to really look at herself. Knowing better than to argue, I simply say, "Fine. You don't think you're pretty. So? _I_ like how you look."

Beatrice turns her eyes away from me, but I don't miss the way she smiles and then bites her bottom lip just as all the blood in her body rushes to her cheeks. I find that I love it when she blushes.

"Maybe I'd have looked better in black," Beatrice suggests, staring off, lost in her own imagination. "I used to watch them, jumping on and off the trains," she says, "and I wondered what it would be like. I still wonder sometimes what it's like to be so free. There's so much I'd like to try that I can't here."

"Like what?" I ask. I finally bring my head down and get comfortable beside her as she speaks. I lie flat and so does she, and we're facing each other, eye to eye.

"When I cook," Beatrice begins, "Sometimes I wish I could use more than just the traditional seasonings or cooking methods. I'm sure there's more I could do with chicken than just add salt and boil or bake it."

Most of what Abnegation people eat is frozen or canned because the farms are far away. And the food tends to be plain; chicken breast, green peas, a slice of bread. Adding more seasoning just for the sake of flavour without any nutritional benefit is definitely not common Abnegation practice.

"I know you must think I'm being silly," she says when I'm not too quick to respond.

"No, I don't," I say, although I've always enjoyed Beatrice's cooking. I think she might already be experimenting since she has a kitchen of her own. And now that I think about it, many of the scents and flavours that make my mouth water every time she makes dinner aren't anything I've ever come across around any other Abnegation table. "What else?" I ask.

She grins eagerly and says, "When I make scrambled eggs, I'd want to throw some oregano in it. Maybe some diced vegetables and even some cheese melted on top. I also want to try using butter instead of oil. I think it'll taste better."

"Well do it," I reply a little excitedly and with a huge smile on my face. "Just the sound of that is making me hungry." Beatrice laughs the most beautiful laugh and when she does, some of her thick golden hair falls in front of her eyes. Gently, I reach up and tuck it behind her ear and say, "It's just us. And I won't tell."

She stares longingly into my eyes for a moment, and I find myself wishing we could stay like this forever, just talking. Every new thing I learn about her makes me understand and appreciate her even more for who she is. I would have never imagined that inside this beautiful Abnegation girl, there was even more beauty. Maybe _that's_ why she's always the most beautiful woman in the room; because her splendour runs far beyond skin deep.

"Why did _you_ come back to Abnegation?" Beatrice asks me. Her unexpected question makes me shift a little in the bed. I find it's not so easy to give answers as it is to ask questions. But I take heed to Kade's advice. And if I am to keep Beatrice close, then that means opening up to her, as hard as that is.

"My father," I answer.

"Did he threaten you?" Beatrice asks looking confused. "But if you had left you would have been free of him. He wouldn't have been able to hurt you anymore."

"No, he never threatened me." And softly I admit, "I came back because I wanted to. I thought maybe it would make him proud of me."

"Why do you think you need him to be proud of you?" Beatrice asks flatly. She's not wrong. My father is not a just or fair or honest man. His approval of me would speak nothing of my character. Only it's not about my character at all.

"Because he's my father," I say. It's the first time I've ever admitted it out loud; the painful and pitiful truth that despite all the horrible things Marcus had done, he was still my father and I still longed for his affection. "But nothing I do is ever enough for him. I know that now."

Beatrice nods and only presses a hand to my cheek. She stares at me with those beautiful eyes, but there is no pity in them. I just acknowledged weakness yet here she is looking at me as though I'm the strongest person she's ever known.

"Thank you," I say to her.

"For what?"

"For not looking at me like I'm a kicked puppy or something."

"Well, you're not," Beatrice says firmly. "I understand, you know. All any child ever wants is to feel their parents' love. And I don't think that ever goes away, no matter how old you become."

I let out a slow breath as I thank the heavens for Beatrice. I've done nothing to deserve her. No one has ever made it so easy for me to divulge my secrets. She listens in the most sympathetic way.

"Where would you have gone if you had left?" she then asks me.

I smile. "Dauntless," I say without needing to give it thought. "I would've gotten a new life, a new name, gotten away from Marcus forever."

"I'm sure you would have been amazing there," she says with a smile. "They probably would've given you some fierce name like 'Killer' or 'bullet'."

I laugh at the face she makes when she mentions my would have been names. "I don't think so. I only would have chosen Dauntless because aside from Erudite, it's the faction Marcus hates most. And I'm no genius."

"I think you'd catch on quickly enough. You've had no training, but you brought down that factionless man quite easily."

"Well, I _have_ had my share of lessons on how to throw a punch," I reply, but not with bad intention. I immediately regret it when Beatrice's face becomes heavy and she says, "Oh my god, I'm sorry."

"No. It's ok, really," I say with my most earnest voice. I quickly set my arm on her shoulder and my thumb slides up and down her arm on its own. This seems to calm her a bit and her face relaxes again. "What about _you_?" I ask. "Would you have changed your name? To be honest you've never seemed like a Beatrice to me. That name seems… wrong for you."

"It's a standard Abnegation name," she replies with a chuckle.

"Exactly. And we both know there is _nothing_ standardly Abnegation about you."

Still smiling, her eyes square in just a little, forming thin creases on her forehead. "What name would suit me better then?"

"I don't know. Maybe just… Tris." I shrug.

"Tris." She tests out the name and then ponders it for a short while. "I like it," she then says with a genuine and beautiful smile, all signs of her tears gone. "It's funny. Maybe in another life we both transferred. Maybe there we're friends." And in the cutest mock voice she says, "Dauntless legends, Killer and Tris."

I laugh a little. It _is_ hilarious. See, I think we'd be more than friends. I feel it in my core.

She would be mine.

We would be like two flames joined together to form the most incandescent blaze. We'd be bound to each other by that same potent fire; an inescapable passion. And with vehemence we'd turn to char anyone or anything who dared to try and come between us; an unbreakable passion.

As I stare into her eyes, I begin to wonder what she's thinking because I know she's thinking too. And if her mind is anywhere near where mine is, then trying to stop _us_ from happening would be like trying to stop the inevitable; useless, embarrassingly futile.

"Tobias, why did you marry me?" Beatrice asks, breaking the silence. The question catches me off guard. Besides, she already knows the answer to it. I chalk it up to tiredness and softly say, "I think we've shared enough for one night, don't you think?"

She pouts a little in the most adorable way and I can't help but chuckle.

"It's late," I say. "Go to sleep, Beatrice."

She nods and asks, "Would you stay with me?"

The offer is inhumanely tempting. And fighting the urge to say yes with every bit of will I have, I take a breath and say, "Of course I'll stay."

Beatrice pulls the covers from beneath her and extends her arm out, inviting me in. So I pull the covers over myself and then, without warning, she presses herself closer to me, nuzzling her face into my chest. As my hand finds rest on her hip, I bend my neck and touch my lips to her forehead. And I hold her close as we lay, everything about it feeling so right.

I've never been this close to her before. Not even when we kissed. This is a different kind of closeness, one that goes far beyond the lack of space between our bodies as we lie. And to think this is what I was so hesitant to want; this wholeness. But I was wrong to think the danger outside was any reason to not cherish a gift as wonderful as Beatrice. We could have our own little piece of heaven right here in each other's arms. And as I watch her eyes slowly give in, bit my bit my heart is won over.

And I won't fight it. I _can't_ fight it. In fact, there is nothing _to_ fight.

I'm already in love with her. I am completely and hopelessly in love with my wife.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

 **TRIS**

I didn't expect to feel the way I did after my initiation ceremony. I suppose that's when it all became real to me; I was officially Abnegation, pledged to a life of selflessness. And it wasn't my intention for Tobias to find me crying. In fact, I was a bit embarrassed by it since it wasn't the first time he had seen me like that. But at the same time I wanted him there. I found the sweetest comfort in his presence, his closeness, the sound of his voice. And I felt no resistance as I uttered my secrets to him.

It was a risk; asking him to share _his_ secrets and then a bed. But it was all worth it when I felt his lips against my face, when the gentle hum of his breathing lulled me to sleep. And now again in the morning, when even before opening my eyes I feel the warmth of his body and his breath on my skin.

I lie there, perfectly still and caught in his embrace. I dare not move, fearing to wake him. And it's Saturday, so neither of us has reason to get out of bed. We could stay like this for as long as we wanted. But then, with my eyes closed and with deep breaths, I take him in. And I stir in his arms as I bury myself deeper inside the crook of his neck, wanting more of him.

"Good Morning," he says, and his voice is deep. I feel it as it rumbles through his neck. I smile against the sweet smell of his skin.

"Good morning," I answer.

We're both quiet for a while, but both obviously comfortable as neither of us pulls away from the embrace that is now a bit tighter than it was when we had fallen asleep.

"Slept well?" Tobias whispers, and I nod into his neck. How could I not? It was utterly blissful being surrounded by him.

"Did _you_?" I ask as I pull back my head a little to look up at him. He smiles handsomely and nods. And then he says, "It's been a while since I last slept like that."

I imagine him crammed up on the sofa downstairs and I immediately feel guilty. It's most likely my fault since I was the one who banished him from the bedroom and forced him to sleep uncomfortably for a month and a half. Embarrassed, my cheeks flood and I ask, "Is it because I made you sleep on the sofa?"

Tobias laughs warmly at my suggestion, his chest shaking beside mine. "No, Beatrice. That's not why."

With beaming blue eyes, he's still smiling down at me when I ask, "Then why?"

I stick to my strategy; daring him to answer my questions. Not to me, but rather to himself. I've held nothing back, saying and doing only what I know I want to. It's my way of making him feel safe, by opening myself up to him. And by the way he's holding me and looking at me, I'd say he feels _very_ safe.

"I tend to dream," Tobias says to my surprise. "And sometimes my dreams are actual memories of things I'd rather forget. Some nights are worse than others."

I decide not to ask what he dreams of, especially since I already have an idea. I remember my own dreams of Marcus when Tobias and I had just gotten married. I can't imagine what it must be like to be plagued by them every single night.

My hand stretches up and my fingers land gently on his face. It's meant to comfort _him_ but instead _I'm_ the one who shivers at the feel of the stubble on his cheek. "Well you're always welcome to sleep here with me," I say without thinking. I smile nervously, wishing I hadn't been so forward. It's not that I don't mean it; I just don't want him to feel pressured or uncomfortable.

This time Tobias is the one who blushes. His fingers move idly against my back and he says, "I just might take you up on that offer." I chuckle a little in shameless and sheer delight and so does he. And then he says, "No, but seriously, I liked last night. Not just staying here with you, but talking. I don't usually share certain things with others. Sometimes I think people would look at me differently if they knew certain things about me. Or they'd pity me if they knew about Marcus. But not you. It's different when I talk to you."

Tobias simply stares thoughtfully at me, not knowing how much his words mean to me. I smile and nod a little. "I like talking to you too," I admit softly. "You're not like everyone else around here. I feel like I can be honest with you and be myself around you without worrying if I'm being Abnegation enough."

"I know what you mean," he says. "But…," and then he stalls a little, exhaling heavily into the air. "I should tell you that it's not easy for me to talk about certain things. It's not that I don't want to share them with you. It's just hard, and I won't get everything out in one day."

My heart jumps at his confession, elated at the fact he's even willing to let me in at all. "There's no rush, Tobias," I say, fighting back the tears.

Tobias smiles in gratitude and I can't help but stare at his beautiful face and wonder what provoked this sudden change in him. My openness to him might have had something to do with it, but he also seems to have decided to let me in all on his own.

"So what are we going to do today, Beatrice?" he asks me quietly, his arms still wrapped around me.

"It's Tris now," I say with a playful smile, insisting on his little nickname for me.

Tobias chuckles sweetly and teasingly he rolls his eyes. "Ok. So what are we going to do today, Tris?" he corrects himself with a wide smile.

"Well I was thinking we could start with breakfast, Killer."

He laughs, a real laugh, and it makes me come alive, stimulating every cell in my body. "Oh," he then says. "Those eggs!" He smiles a handsome, naughty smile, and there's the most beautiful hint of mischief in his wide open eyes.

"Yes!" I squeal back. But then I just lie there and grin back at him, not caring that I'm making it obvious I don't want to be anywhere else but against his chest. I have to tell myself to get up ten times before I actually do. And I only do because Tobias makes me when he hears the sound of my stomach growling. I forgot I hadn't eaten last night.

As I sit up in the bed, Tobias sitting up beside me, my bun comes loose and my hair falls down, covering my back. I reach behind me to pin it back up but I freeze when I feel Tobias' soft touch on me. His hand gently slides down the length of my hair until it rests on mine.

"Don't," he says. "I like your hair like this. It's beautiful."

I suddenly feel my throat constrict. "Ok," is all I trust myself to say without choking.

"Ok," he says back.

* * *

It's a strange feeling, the sway of my hair against my back with every move I make, but there's something exhilarating about it, something bold. I never would have imagined something so trivial would feel so much like freedom. So much, in fact, that there's an extra twirl with every reach of my arm and a superfluous sway in my hip with even the slightest turn.

Tobias stares at me almost the entire time, even when he's helping me dice tomatoes, sweet peppers and onions. But instead of discomfort, I feel only confidence and power. Like wearing my hair down has somehow made me into a whole new person. I can't help but laugh at myself. It _is_ ridiculous when you think about it.

The aroma in the kitchen is mouth-watering as I pour the battered eggs into the frying pan. This time Tobias peeps over my shoulder and takes a deep breath.

"Why has no one ever thought of this?" he asks breathlessly, exhaling into my hair.

I laugh at him as I stir the eggs jovially. "I'm sure someone already has. This might be your typical breakfast in Candor for all we know," I say with a shrug.

"Or Dauntless," Tobias suggests. And then he says, "Or maybe not. They probably eat nails for breakfast."

I laugh until my eyes water, until I have to leave Tobias to stir the eggs. I pull out a chair from the dinner table and I take a seat to catch my breath. He laughs with me for a while, but then he just stands there and stares at me with the most charming smile on his face.

I'm sure I turn pink when after removing the pan from the fire, Tobias suddenly sets a plate in front of me and serves me my portion of eggs. I had already prepared the tea, and he pours me a mug.

We've made breakfast together before, but it's never been quite like this. I've never felt this free and he's never been this unguarded. The room feels so light, like there's not even air between us. Something changed last night, and whatever it was, I'm wholly grateful for it and I don't ever want it to go away.

Tobias then serves himself and pulls out the chair beside me. He takes his first mouthful of eggs, eyes closed, and lets out the sultriest moan. Glad he can't see me, I slowly rub the goose bumps off my arms. But then to make matters worse, he says, "Tris," in only a whisper. "This is amazing."

I lift my mug to my lips to hide the fact that I am as red as the poor tomatoes we just massacred. There is no denying the effect he has on me, and I mentally scold myself for wanting Tobias in ways that maybe I shouldn't just yet. But honestly… who could blame me? Apart from being handcrafted to perfection, it's like he was handcrafted for _me_ and me alone. How could I ever not want him in every way possible?

"Thank you," I say. "I'm really glad you like it."

Tobias smiles to himself and I can't help but wonder what he's thinking. He finishes his breakfast quickly, glancing up at me the entire time.

"What is that? In the tea," he says after taking a sip. "It's delicious."

"You told me I was free to experiment. So I did." My tone is cheeky.

"Fine. Don't tell me," he says playfully. Tobias lifts the cup to his lips and after taking a taste, he smacks them together a couple times. I imagine them pressed on my mouth, soft and wet and warm.

Oh god.

"It's ginger," he says, the sides of his mouth curving up impishly.

"How'd you know?" I ask him with a grin.

"Who do you think's been cooking for Marcus all these years?" he answers. And by the way he always instinctively clears the table after we're done eating, I'd say he used to do _everything_ for Marcus.

I stand to help him with the dishes, drying them off and stacking them up neatly in the dishrack.

"You know, I was thinking," Tobias says as he passes me the second tea mug, his hand gently brushing against mine. It was deliberate. "Maybe we could fix up the place, I don't know." He shrugs and puts the plates in the wash water. I always appreciate the order in which he chooses to wash things.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"I was thinking about what we talked about last night," he explains. "I know things won't ever be able to be exactly like how they are in Dauntless, but maybe we could make the house more comfortable for you; make it into a place that feels more like… home."

I look up at him, but he focuses his eyes on the frying pan as he rubs large, soapy circles into it. It's a selfless offer, one he is by no means required to make. And it's a meaningful one that could only have come from a deeper understanding of who I am. It benefits him none, since as different as he is from your average Abnegation man, he belongs here a lot more than I do. It's an offer based solely on ensuring my happiness.

My mother was right, and so was my heart. He really does care deeply for me.

"You would do that for me?" I ask, my heart filling up.

"Of course I would," Tobias answers softly, finally looking at me. "I love seeing you this way; laughing, making forbidden food with your hair let down. You look happy." Dipping it in the sink, Tobias collects a tiny bit of foam on his finger. Pressing it to my nose he says, "And I love seeing you happy."

I try not to giggle.

I fail.

"Thank you, Tobias. I'd really like that," I say with a smile as I set down the frying pan and the dish cloth. I leave the soap on my nose and I watch him dry his hands.

"So… where do you want to start?" Tobias asks as he runs his thumb over the tip of my nose.

"Oh. You mean _now_?"

"No time like the present, Tris," he says with a chuckle. I grin again, widely, utterly fond of my new nickname. Or maybe it's just the way he says it. Either way, I can't keep this up. It's barely ten in the morning and my cheeks are sore.

Stepping away from the sink, I turn and look around me for a bit. I'm quickly reminded of why this might not work. Abnegation houses come with standard furnishing, and only the essentials. So apart from rearranging the sofa and the living room table, there's really not much that can be done down here.

"The bedroom?" I suggest.

Tobias nods in agreement and then he takes me by the hand and leads me up the stairs. It's unexpected and I'm not quite sure how tight I should hold his hand. But all thoughts of whether or not I'm doing it right are soon forgotten when while walking, he rubs his thumb back and forth over my knuckles. I'm suddenly grateful I'm a step behind him so he can't see when I blush for the seventy-fifth time today.

Tobias opens the bedroom door and leads me inside. Closing it behind us he asks, "Is there something in here you don't like?"

It should be an easy question. I've only slept in here a million times. Still, I stand and think for a while.

"I don't really like the curtains," I say. "They block out too much wind and light. But it's not like we can get different ones." I shrug. "I suppose we could take them down and stuff them in the closet. In fact," I say with a gasp, suddenly feeling inspired, "I might be able to cut them, make a new design."

I run to the closet and assess the amount of space left inside. It's not particularly big, but it should be enough to safeguard the extra cloth from the curtains. I push my clothes to the side and step in. When I turn around, I see Tobias standing beside the bed, looking on in what I can only assume to be dread.

"Is everything ok?" I ask him. I quickly step out the closet and find myself by his side. This time, I'm the one who takes his hand.

"I'm not particularly fond of closets." Tobias says, but I don't understand what he means until he says, "It's one of those things from my wonderful childhood. I spent a lot of time in there… and not by choice."

"Oh," I say with slight horror on my face, trying to figure out why on earth a man would lock his child in a closet. "Ok. Let's leave the closet alone then."

Tobias looks down at me and smiles in appreciation. "Yeah," he says. "Let's."

He draws me closer to him and I press my head into the side of his chest, and then we're both looking around the room in every direction, trying to figure out what else we could do.

"It seemed a lot more practical when I thought about it," Tobias says in an apologetic tone. But before I can tell him that it still meant so much to me that he would even offer, his tone sparks up when he asks me, "Do you have a favourite colour?"

I look up at him feeling entirely confused. "I do, actually. Blue," I say. "I like blue."

Once upon a time I would have associated blue with the Erudite, with knowledge, with prestige and assets. Now every time I see blue I only think of his eyes, and when I think of his eyes I think of his smile. Every time I see blue I feel warm.

"Then we shall paint the walls blue," Tobias says with the most handsome smile.

I look at him in disbelief for a moment, surprised he would even think of such a thing. It's bad enough the Abnegation don't decorate or rearrange rooms, much less personalize them. My faction sees art as impractical and deems its assembly and appreciation as time that could be spent serving others. It's a wonderful and unorthodox idea, but, "Can we actually do that?" I ask.

"Well, it would be improper for anyone else to walk into our bedroom anyway. No one would ever see it."

I don't hear anything else Tobias says after having referred to it as _our_ bedroom. I just stand there staring up at him until he asks me, "What do you think?"

I don't miss the spark of excitement in his eyes, the thrill of deviating from the ordinary. All of a sudden everything makes sense; why he's not like any other Abnegation man, why I feel so comfortable being around him, why every now and again there's an untamed fire that surges from inside him. He is just as stifled here as I am.

I think of my mother's words. ' _You and Tobias are alike in so many ways'_ she had said. And I don't even have to wonder how. I just _know_ that he is just like me. He is Divergent; blended of fire and stone.

I smile back at him, suddenly feeling closer to him though neither of us has moved an inch.

Resolute, I decide I'd want nothing more than to create our own little sanctuary right here in this house. We'll be safe. We'll be free here. We'll be for each other what no one else could ever be for us. And at the end of every day, we'll find strength in each other's arms, surrounded by blue, surrounded by warmth.

"Ok," I say with a smile. "We shall paint the walls blue."

* * *

 **A/N: Sorry for the late post guys. Was bonding with some long-lost family members. Hopefully I made up for it with the above Abnegation flirting lol  
Thank you, as always, to Bamberlee! My Beta, My heart.  
Also, with next week's post, the rating for this story will be changed to M in lieu of upcoming chapters ;) heehee  
**


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Thanks for all the continued support guys! I'm so glad you all have stuck with this story up until now and I do hope you find the following chapters having been worth the wait. And a huge Thank You to Bamberlee for her priceless shirtless-Tobias contribution to this chapter ;) lol  
Hope you all enjoy 21!**

* * *

 **Chapter 21**

 **TRIS**

I was distraught this morning when I felt Tobias get out of bed. I had pulled him back in, but he only laughed and reminded me that Monday had finally arrived and he had to go to work. It was yet another beautiful night spent in his arms, and I didn't want it to end. He did promise he'd be back as soon as he could though, and since then I've been impatiently waiting for him. I've been rolling around in the sheets all day, trying to absorb every last bit of his scent that I can.

As I lie sprawled out in the middle of the mattress, I keep his pillow pressed hard against my nose. Any harder and I would suffocate, smothered with his scent. Oh but it would be a beautiful death.

Grinning at the ceiling and wiggling my toes, I suddenly hear water running from the bathroom sink. I sit up immediately and glance at the clock, only to find it's already four o' clock in the evening. Just like that I had wished the day away, forgetting there was an entire house outside my bedroom door.

I try to contain myself as I jump out of the bed, trying not to seem too anxious. But how could I not be? I've been waiting for Tobias to come home ever since the moment he left. There has not been a single second gone by when I wasn't thinking of him.

In all my life, I've never been this hungry for a person.

I slip my shoes on, walk out the bedroom door and down the hallway. I'm not sure what for, since I already expect to find the bathroom door shut. But instead I find it open, and discreetly I peep inside.

Tobias has nothing but a towel wrapped around him, bare from the waist up. There's white foam on his cheeks and I watch as he manoeuvres the blade in his hand to pass with just enough pressure against his skin.

His back is beautiful, though lined with thin scars along each side. They go all the way down into the curve of his lower back. He is strong and each muscle ripples with even his gentle movements. It's almost hypnotizing and I stare for far too long. But I'm caught in the act when in the mirror Tobias' eyes catch mine admiring him.

I hadn't seen it there, the damn mirror. I hadn't expected to see it there. But I continue to stare into it, my eyes locked on his. There's an undeniable desire in his eyes and it flatters me since I'm not the one standing shirtless in the bathroom. I blush, and I'm the first to break away from the intense gaze. When I look up again, Tobias is smiling at me through the mirror.

"I'm sorry," he says softly. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"You didn't," I say nervously. I take my bottom lip in between my teeth, hoping he doesn't turn around. If the back of him is this beautiful then God help me if I should ever see the front.

"I'll uh… take a quick shower and meet you in the bedroom when I'm done, ok?" Tobias says.

I stop breathing.

He doesn't say it suggestively, but there's absolutely nothing about Tobias telling me he'll meet me in the bedroom that's not provocative. I turn pink again and I feel a pulse in my abdomen. Very low in my abdomen. I nod quickly and return to the bedroom where I try to regain control of my lungs.

I take a seat on the edge of the bed and wait for him there. I suddenly feel self-conscious, wondering if my hair looks messy or if I should have at least changed my clothes before he got home. By the looks of me, it's pretty obvious I did nothing but lie in bed all day. I wasn't even hungry. But in my defence, it wasn't entirely on me. I was to report to the City Hall this morning with the other new members where I would have selected a job. Tobias, however, had other plans. He told me he'd tell the leaders I wanted to try housekeeping for a week and I'd be deciding on a permanent job at a later date.

I'm not sure why he wanted to keep me in the house, but it was probably for the best since I was in no condition to function today. And truthfully, I _did_ relish the idea of Tobias wanting me for himself.

True to his promise, no more than five minutes later, Tobias walks into the bedroom. His towel has been replaced by pants and his beautifully sculpted chest and back now hide beneath a T-shirt. Unfortunately.

"I have a surprise for you," Tobias says to me before I can even ask about his day. Smiling and taking me by the hand, he gently pulls me up off the bed. "Come on," he says, and I follow behind with a curious smile on my face.

Tobias leads me to the edge of the stairs where I see a large, silver can. On top of it lies a strange looking contraption with a stick and a paintbrush. My eyes open wide when I think I grasp what's inside the can.

"Is that paint?!" I almost squeal. I can't stop myself from running to open it, and Tobias just laughs as he comes up behind me. I stoop down and dig my fingers into the groove under the cover to no avail.

"Yes, it is," he answers. "So you might want to change into something more… disposable."

Elated, I stand and turn around, and on impulse I throw my arms around Tobias' neck. "Thank You," I say, and this time I do squeal. When he said we'd paint the walls, I never imagined he meant so soon.

Tobias laughs as his arms find their way around my waist, and he squeezes me and picks me up off my feet. "You're welcome, Tris," he says into my ear before setting me back down.

With a grin and my arms still wrapped around his neck, I tease, "Does Jeanine Matthews know that you took this can of paint, Councillor?" I will admit I am a little bit curious as to where he got it.

Tobias fights the urge to laugh, and in the most serious mock voice he can muster he says, "No. So we'd better hurry and use it before she tries to take it back."

I snicker loudly into his chest and Tobias' laugh is deep and heavy, like it came from his stomach instead of his lungs. Leave it to us to make a joke of serious matters.

Tobias reaches for the can of paint, and only then do my arms release him. I grab the paintbrush, the stick, and the long, flat container, and side by side we walk toward the bedroom.

Already with a plan, Tobias sets the can down by the wall and begins to push everything to the centre of the room. First he moves the bed, and although I wish to help him, I'm rendered useless the minute the curve of his biceps come into view. As he moves the dresser, I question my sanity, trying to find the link between Tobias moving furniture and my mouth suddenly becoming dry. Upon grasping the general idea of getting everything away from the walls, I finally decide to help by gathering the curtains and folding them into themselves before pinning them up.

We cover everything with a large cloth when we're done, and that's when Tobias finally moves to open the paint. I giggle inside as I cover myself with an old night gown and pin up my hair, feeling the most excited I've ever felt in my life.

Stooping in front of it, Tobias takes up a thin metal file and pries the top of the can open. He then takes the stick and stirs the paint. As it swirls in the can I see that it's the most beautiful shade of blue; not as light as the sky, but neither as dark as Erudite blue.

He pours it out into the long, flat container, and then he dips the round brush in it several times and hands it over to me. "You ready?" he asks me in the sweetest tone. Smiling, I nod.

We both face the wall and I feel defiant as the brush first makes contact with it. I gasp silently when I see the trail left behind as I move my arms up and down. The blue is striking against the pale, grey wall.

For a moment I'm not sure if I'm doing it right, but just then, I feel Tobias step closer until he's flush against my back. I continue to move my arms up and down, pretending like his body on me doesn't suck the air out of my lungs. I stop breathing completely when he leans his face down, pressing it into mine. His cheek is smooth against my skin, and the smell of his aftershave makes my muscles go limp.

"I think that part of the wall is good, don't you?" Tobias says. Only then do I realize I've been painting the same spot over and over since he stood behind me. I bite my lip as I feel my cheeks begin to warm up. I don't answer, but I do smile wide against his cheek.

Chuckling softly, he says, "Like this." Tobias pulls me even closer and his right arm travels up my own until we're both holding the handle of the brush. He guides it up and down and left and right, extending the patch of blue until it covers the entire surface of the wall. And the entire time, with his right hand over mine, his left hand resting on my hip, and my head against his chest, I can't help but appreciate just how perfectly we fit together.

By some miracle, we finish painting the walls before we've run out of paint or I've fainted from ecstasy. There might be more blue on me than anywhere else, since Tobias eventually gave me my own brush to paint the corners and the lower halves of the walls. But even so, he was never more than a few inches away from me.

We stand back and admire our creation for a bit and Tobias has a proud look on his face as he stares at the wall and then at me. I stare back at him, appreciating his slightly messy hair and the tiny drops of blue paint that decorate his arms. "Do you like it?" he asks.

"I love it."

'I love _you',_ I think to say. But I don't. I feel the tears as they start to gather behind my eyes as something about the blue walls makes me feel as consoled as I've ever felt in my life. I feel as my love for Tobias swells inside my chest for having given that to me.

Slowly walking toward me, Tobias says, "You know what I found out today?" I shake my head and swallow my tears as he wraps one arm around my waist and then takes the other, as if I didn't have enough trouble as it was keeping my emotions at bay. As we slowly begin to sway from left to right, he says, "I owe you a dance."

My mouth opens and my eyes squint the tiniest little bit. "Explain yourself, Councillor," I say cheekily, as if I'd ever need an explanation for Tobias' hands on me. I relax in his arms and I feel complete peace there; much like that feeling you get when you've been away for too long and finally come home.

Tobias smiles. "It was brought to my attention from a very reliable source that a dance is mandatory at Dauntless weddings."

"Oh, really?" I ask with an obvious hint of sarcasm.

"Yes," he says with a half-smile and a nod. And then staring into my eyes he says, "I might not ever be able to give you a Dauntless wedding, but I can at least give you _this_." All I can do is stare back.

I remember when I thought Tobias was shy, and then again when I thought he was only a minion of his father. I never imagined in a million years he would be this profound, this playful and charismatic. I remember when I was afraid that a life in Abnegation meant feeling forever stifled, but with Tobias I am as safe and as carefree as I have ever been. I breathe easy and it's so comfortable when it's just us. It makes me wonder if this is how my parents are now that Caleb and I aren't around.

"What are you thinking?" Tobias asks me when I'm quiet for too long and we dance to nothing but the sound of our peaceful breathing.

"That maybe being married to you isn't such a horrible thing at all" I say with a small smile. But then seriously I add, "I can be myself with you, Tobias… in this house. I've never had that before, so it means so much to me." And though it doesn't feel like enough, I say, "Thank you." He smiles a little and then presses a kiss between my eyes. I fall deeper into him, my head resting on his chest as we sway. "I wish all of Abnegation felt like this instead of like a prison," I say. "Maybe when you become leader you can strive for things to be different."

Though I doubt being anywhere else, no matter how free, could compare to being with Tobias. I never thought it possible, but being here with him is even better than being at home with my parents. Even there I felt the quiet whip of guilt and inadequacy chastising me for my selfishness.

"I'm not even sure if that's possible," he answers. "But just in case it is, what would _you_ do differently?"

"Well for starters, I'd put the Erudite in their place," I grumble under my breath since I know that's not what he meant.

He hears me anyway and says, "You're right. I think _we_ are actually the root of that problem though. Our faction so easily confuses selflessness with helplessness." He shakes his head a little. "What makes us fit to govern this city is also what makes us the easiest target. We might need to learn to love ourselves a bit more and fight for what's ours."

I look up at him and plant my chin on his chest. I don't lose the opportunity to admire him. He's impressive even from this angle.

"That's not a bad idea at all," I say. But it's an understatement. It's everything. It's all I've been trying to say since the moment I recognized a power struggle. We're not the only ones to see that power in the hands of the Erudite is too deadly a thing. But Tobias acknowledges the one thing they won't; we will have to fight if we are to stand any chance at all.

I've never believed in fate or destiny. I've always considered everything that happens in this life to be a direct result of choices made. But Tobias makes me question that belief. After all, what is the likelihood of _him_ being the man I was forced to marry? The one man who could understand and accept me for all that I am, because he _is_ what I am? And with the face of an angel, a heart of gold, and a mind that could only lead him to greatness, Tobias could have had any girl in Abnegation. Why would he have agreed to marry _me_?

"Why did you marry me, Tobias?" I ask him a second time, since the first time I asked he chose to not answer.

Tobias immediately stops moving and he appears genuinely confused when he replies, "You know about Marcus, Tris. Why would you even ask that?"

"Because I think there's more to it than that," I explain. I've seen Tobias stand up to Marcus, and all that means is that he had it in him all along. All he needed was a good enough reason. In essence, Tobias never would have married me if it weren't ultimately his choice. "I don't believe it's because you were afraid of him," I say. "It wasn't because he threatened you."

"No," Tobias says as he shakes his head once. His eyes fall a little lower. "It was because he threatened _you_." He bites his bottom lip as he thinks about his answer. It's almost as if up until now he hadn't considered its significance.

Amazed and a little more enthralled by him, I ask, "But why would you do that? You didn't even know me, Tobias. Why would you marry a complete stranger to save her and her family when you owe them nothing?"

"Because I knew enough," he answers strongly. "I knew you didn't deserve my father's cruelty, and at the time I believed that marrying me was least of the evil things Marcus could do to you. And I thought I could somehow make up for it by being a good husband to you." Tobias' hand creeps up to my face, cupping my cheek. "But then I met you, and I couldn't change my mind even if I had wanted to. There was something special about you, Tris, and I wanted more of it the minute I recognized it."

I had felt it too: that pull, that completely unwarranted desire to be close to him. Even when I hated him, I had wanted him.

I suddenly feel guilty all over again for everything I had done to him after he selflessly gave up his freedom so that I could still have a bit of mine. As if he sees it in my eyes, he says, "I don't blame you for any of the things you did. I hated that you were miserable and at the same time I felt responsible for it."

"Why?" I ask, my eyes filling with tears. "After everything I did, you could have left if you had wanted to, Tobias. But instead you stayed to protect me and my family." I say the words out loud as I let them sink in, almost choking over them. And although we later learned that Marcus' threats were empty, only meant to manipulate us, they were real to us then, and Tobias still chose to be selfless.

"Because somehow I knew that wasn't who you were," he says. "And at first I was mad at myself for trying so hard, but with every part of me I'm glad I did. I've been afraid for so long to speak up, to be strong, but you've given me that, Tris. And these past few days with you," he continues, cupping my face even tighter, "They've been incredible. I'm happier here with you than I've ever been in my entire life."

"Then why were you pushing me away?" I find the strength to ask. "I was afraid you hadn't forgiven me, or that I made you feel like you couldn't trust me." Or worse; I wasn't what he wanted. _Who_ he wanted.

"No," Tobias says as he lifts his other hand to my cheek, cradling my face between his palms. "That was _never_ because of you. I was afraid… of a lot of things. But I was wrong about all of them, Tris. I know that now and I want…," his voice trails off and there's a surreal vulnerability in his eyes. I wrap my arms tight around his waist.

"What do you want, Tobias?" I ask the question I dared not ask yesterday, knowing I have him right where I want him, both physically and otherwise.

"I want _you_ ," he says, his voice thick with emotion. "I only want you, Tris."

And in a second I feel his grip tighten on me as he lifts my lips to his. He parts them with his own as he kisses me firmly and without the slightest trace of hesitation. I feel his tongue as it slides past my lips and I shiver in his arms as if I have electricity coursing through my veins instead of blood. I am on edge, and even though there's already no space between us, I press up harder against him, wanting nothing but to feel his body against mine. I relish the feel of his lips on me and I savour them, and as I take in the taste of him and the feel of his hands on me, I only kiss him harder, not caring to hide from him how hungry I've been for him. Famished for me too, Tobias receives me and his fingers stay strong against my skin as I slide my arms up his neck and into his short hair.

This kiss is slower but deeper than the first, and I'd dare to say we'd devour each other if it were possible. Our lips never break away; instead, Tobias only takes in more of me with every sway of his lips. His grip on me is as strong as the passion in the kiss we share.

For more than a few minutes we kiss like that, and I _know_ with all my heart that if we had both chosen differently, we would have ended up doing the same thing, in a more dangerous place, in black clothes instead of grey ones.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

 **TOBIAS**

I had spent all of today thinking about yesterday.

My lips had refused to let go of hers. They pursued over and over again, needing to feel the sweet softness of her mouth and the slickness of her tongue. I only let her go what had felt like hours later, and even _then_ I hadn't had enough.

I couldn't look away from her; she was exquisite. Her lips were pink and swollen and inviting. And the tiny blue droplets on her face called my hands to them. But my hands began to roam down her neck and down her arms as they followed the trail of tiny blue dots. Her skin was like silk under my touch, and I shivered as I felt a current course through my fingers.

I was intoxicated, high out of my mind, and I didn't think before I offered to help her get cleaned up since she had paint just about everywhere. Tris nodded, but I didn't miss the way she bit her lip first as she thought about it. Undoubtedly, I would've withdrawn the offer if she had seemed too uncomfortable with it, but _she_ was the one who led the way, taking me by the hand and walking toward the bathroom.

I felt my pulse hard in my throat as I watched Tris remove the old paint filled nightgown, and I stepped into the shower and put the water to run as a means of distracting myself from the thought of Tris undressing only a few feet away from me. That only lasted for so long, however, since she soon stepped in behind me, wearing a tank top and rolled up pyjama pants. She was laughing at me as I stood fully clothed in the shower and suggested I might be a bit overdressed for the occasion, but she'd play along if that's what we were doing.

She didn't seem to sense my nerves, but they all disappeared at her ease anyway. And with her playfulness catching on, I grabbed the washcloth and soap and friskily rubbed them together under the warm running water. When there was enough lather on my palms, I pasted it on her right hand first, and I slid the cloth up and down her arm. I did the same on the left, and then again on her neck, but by the time I got to her face, I had long forgotten the objective of this atypical shower. Especially since Tris had lathered her own hands and was playfully rubbing them along the length of my arms and then under my shirt. I never dared to tell her there was no paint under there.

Tris' eyes were beaming with something fierce as my thumbs slid around them. And unexpectedly, she pushed herself up on her toes and laughed as her hands slithered up both sides of my face, leaving a trail of soap behind them. On their own, my hands cupped her jaw at the same time she hooked her arms behind my neck, her face hovering just below mine.

I watched as her smile faded, as she took her bottom lip between her teeth, as her eyes fell to my lips.

I couldn't help but kiss her. She was so close, and with no amount of willpower would I have been able to stop myself from closing the gap between us. I stepped backward under the shower and I brought her with me. I pulled her into me until she was so flush against me that the water slid around us instead of between us.

My hands were hungry as I kissed her, grabbing at every inch of flesh within arm's length. And Tris' hands were locked in my hair, her body never protesting as I explored her, as my hands slid across her back, against her skin.

The shower was over too soon, and then dripping wet and locked in an embrace, we had somehow found ourselves sharing a towel as we mostly tried to dry each other. Reluctantly, Tris had voiced that our attempts were futile since we were both drenched, and she returned to the bedroom for a short while to put on a dry set of clothes. When she came out, she brought with her a blanket, a pillow and whatever else she thought she'd needed for the night. She had decided we should sleep on the sofa, since the smell of paint was thick in the room.

I was the first to lie down, and my arms welcomed her as she climbed on top of me. We thought we might not fit, but it amazed us both the way our bodies seamlessly interlocked like the pieces of a puzzle would. And our lips collided, over and over again, from soft, tender and lingering kisses to much deeper, much hungrier ones until we were spent. Even as she gave me the last kiss goodnight, there was no part of Tris that was not connected to me. We were so close that I could feel the softness of her breasts where they were pressed against my chest the same way I feared she could feel the evidence of my hunger for her beneath her. If she _had_ felt it, she said nothing.

She had fallen asleep on my chest and with my arms wrapped tight around her. My face was pressed to hers, taking in the sweet smell of her skin the very way my hands were adoring the softness of it. I was intoxicated even by the scent of her wet hair and I drowned myself in it.

I might be addicted.

Slowly, it had taken me away- the peacefulness of being tightly wrapped up with Tris. I only woke up when there was red on my eyelids instead of black, the soft rays of the morning sun beaming through our windows. Tris was still on my chest, but her arm hung loosely over the side.

I reached my own arm down and took her hand in mine. I was bringing it to my lips, but as it came closer my attention was drawn to a strip of silver around her fourth finger. I blinked a couple times and that's when I saw it; her wedding ring. I hadn't noticed it when she climbed into my arms before falling asleep, and perhaps that's not such a bad thing. I'm not sure how much more of my assault her lips could have taken. Although I suppose I'm soon to find out. There's nothing stopping it now. She is mine as I am hers completely.

Knowing that every touch will only lead to the consummation of our marriage makes me more nervous than I've ever been. And unable to even momentarily think about anything other than Tris, I was rendered completely useless at work. So I left a little earlier than I should have, and I began to make my way to the only other person I've come to trust, as unlikely as it would have once seemed.

Kade.

Normally, I would have been suspicious of him, thinking that he's only befriended me because of my connection to the council. Especially since during our last meeting two days ago, he had asked me to collect as much information about the Erudite's demands on Abnegation as I could. But I was quick to remember that _I_ was the one who sought _him_ first. And the first and only time he reached out to me was to warn me that I was in danger.

Albeit because of the relationship he had with my mother, I've grasped he _is_ genuinely concerned for my well-being. And he has proven to me more than once that he could be a valuable ally. Kade has assured me he's in very good standing with the leader of the factionless and because of it he has many things at his disposal, things that could be mine if I were to just say the word. I was grateful for the offer, and he meant it. Aside from the fully loaded gun that I may or may not need, he was also willing to indulge me with a large can of blue paint, especially after I told him I was trying to do something nice for Tris. Considering how well _that_ turned out, I'd say I owe him one. And here I am again, needing yet another thing from him.

The large green door is harder to miss the deeper I walk into the alley. Kade isn't expecting me to report back so soon, so he isn't waiting for me outside like he usually is. I suddenly wonder if maybe I shouldn't have come unannounced. But I already have, so, letting out a breath, I knock at the entrance. It's loud against the metal door.

I hear someone stirring inside and then two voices whispering back and forth. I feel anxiousness creep up inside me when I hear footsteps approaching the door. What we're about to have is no ordinary conversation, after all. Not for _me,_ anyway. And certainly not one I would have expected to want to have with a man I only just met.

Loudly, the door creaks open and Kade comes into view. He looks comfortable; his hair is messy and he wears a pair of shorts and a red T-shirt. He smiles at me, looking not at all bothered that I'm at his door.

"Tobias," he says, opening the door a little wider. "Come in. Have a seat."

Kade moves out of the doorway and gestures for me to step inside. It takes a while for my eyes to adjust, since the room is fairly dark, but the minute they do, I find it hard to keep my eyes to myself. The place looks small and a bit crammed, yet comfortable enough and organized, equipped with everything one would need to survive. There's a small gas stove and a fridge on the right, a sofa set and two chairs on the left, and a ton of boxes and old equipment between them.

It's a surprising sight, since I always imagined the factionless sleeping out on the street, eating leftovers and giveaways. This place looks more like a home, and since there's no mattress in sight, I'd say there's a bedroom inside here somewhere. Seeing Kade's home only solidifies in my mind what little I know of the world outside Abnegation.

The last time we met, he was explaining to me that the factionless are more numerous than most people would want to believe. He said they live in groups, some larger than others, but they all operate under a single command; a faction of factionless. It sounds absurd. I have yet to see it with my own eyes.

I take a seat in one of the chairs and Kade sits across from me. There's an old ceiling fan squeaking above our heads. Over it, I hear a distant clatter coming from somewhere inside the house and I then remember having heard two voices before stepping inside.

"My uncle," Kade explains when my eyes try to locate where the clattering is coming from. "I always banish him to his room when I have company over. Sometimes he throws a fit and makes noise on purpose."

I guess that answers the question about bedrooms.

"I found this place after I left Dauntless," he adds, although I never asked. "The previous owners seemed to have left in a hurry. It was fully furnished, but I settled in for good when I realized the power was still on."

I nod, still looking around. It's no wonder he noted my curiosity.

"Any of this familiar to you?" he asks me, his voice sounding hopeful.

"It was a long time ago," I answer. I figure it an easier answer to swallow than a definite 'no'. But even though he swears I used to run up and down this place, I truly have no memory of it.

He nods understandingly but still seems disappointed. "That and I've acquired a bit of junk over the years." He slouches over, resting both elbows on his knees. "I wasn't expecting you so soon, to be honest. Or I would have tidied up the place," Kade says with a half-smile. "You've been a councillor for exactly four days. Have you really managed to learn anything new?"

"I haven't," I reply. "But that's the problem. With my induction into the council came knowledge I initially wasn't privy to. I now know what _they_ know, so it's relatively safe to say they know nothing. I had assumed Jeanine was speaking to the council more intimately than she was speaking to the general public, but I was wrong." Looking him in the eyes I say, "I think she's talking to the leader of Abnegation directly."

"Your father?"

I nod. "He's implied to me more than once that he knows more than he should. From the beginning he's been trying to make sure I had some sort of leverage or power, so I get the feeling he knows _exactly_ what the Erudite are planning. But instead of sharing what he knows, he's too busy feeling smug about it." I'm not surprised. That's exactly like Marcus; trying to get the upper hand in the middle of a crisis instead of doing what he can to stop it. "I can promise you he won't be too enthusiastic about sharing."

Kade lets out a heavy breath. "Well he might be our only chance at information since my source at Erudite has gone cold. You should find out what you can. We might be running out of time. But I do understand if you don't want to take that particular approach."

"I'll see what I can do," I say. I run a few scenarios in my head where I'm asking my father to hand over information. None of them end well. But now that we've gotten _that_ out of the way, I also try to figure out a way to ease into the _real_ reason why I'm here before Kade prematurely tries to see me off. "Thank you for the paint, by the way. Tris liked the colour."

"You're welcome. I'm glad I could help." He smiles. It's a genuine smile. I watch it slowly fade away as he sees me shift uncomfortably in my seat more than once. Kade raises his eyebrows at me. "What is it?"

"I need your help… again." I speak firmly though I'm not sure how he will respond to my newest request.

Relaxing into his chair and folding his arms across his chest he says, "What can I do for you?"

I pause when I feel my heart begin to race inside my chest, taking a few seconds to compose myself. "Things are getting better between Tris and me," I say, trying to hide the nervousness in my voice. "Much better."

Kade bobs his head. "I'm glad to hear that."

"So good, in fact," I begin to explain, "I think soon I might need to effectively learn my way around the bedroom." It feels like a selfish acknowledgement, wanting Tris in that way, and maybe it is. But I can't deny the fact that I want her. Badly. And the way she kisses me like she's about to explode and take me with her, I can't convince myself that I want anything she doesn't.

Kade freezes in his seat, his mouth gaped open and with the ghost of a smile. "And you came to _me_?" he asks with evident disbelief. "Don't get me wrong. I'm honoured. Just surprised that's all."

For a brief moment I had thought of confiding in Noah Taylor, but then I thought it would be more fruitful to get a more Dauntless point of view. Everything I know about sex is what Marcus had taught me, and I can't be entirely sure Noah would have much more to offer. So I came straight to Kade since I'd rather not have this conversation twice.

"Well… what does she normally like?" He speaks softer and slower, as if he's just as terrified to have this conversation as I am. But I relax just a little and smile, relieved he understands that this is for Tris' pleasure and not mine. It is then I know I came to the right person.

"I don't know," I shrug. "We've never…" and my voice trails off. I fidget again and I look everywhere except at Kade.

There's an uncomfortable silence until he asks, "How long have you been married?"

"Almost two months."

Slowly, Kade leans forward again, his palms pressed into his knees. "You've been married for two months and you've never had sex with your wife?" His tone isn't judgemental; instead it's laced heavily with curiosity. "Is that an Abnegation thing or…."

Kade searches my face for an answer. I don't have one I'm willing to give him. "It's complicated. Ok?" I say tersely.

"Yeah, so it appears," he answers lightly, sitting upright again. "Your old man had something to do with this?"

"None of that matters anymore." This time I look him in the eye. The past is irrelevant- how Tris and I came to be. All that matters now is that we are.

"Ok," Kade concedes. "I can respect that."

I nod, grateful.

"How much do you know?" he asks me.

"In theory?" I begin, "I know where everything is and where it's supposed to go. Though I might be a bit faulty when it comes to execution."

"Some things you learn to master with time and experience," Kade says with a comforting ease. "You won't get everything right the first time. But the more times you're together, the more you learn what the other person likes and the more fluid it all becomes. The important thing is to not get anxious or exasperated. Take your time and do what you feel is right. You've got to pay attention to her body and how she reacts to whatever you're doing. If she's too quiet, I suggest you move on to something else. And watch the way she breathes. If she's breathing evenly or capable of talking to you in complete sentences, again, move on to something else. If you figure out she likes something, then you go with that for a while. But don't stay there for too long unless she asks you to."

I let out a breath after trying to take all of that in. "That seems like a lot to pay attention to."

"It only is at first," Kade says. "One day you'll be the master at reading her body. You'll know what every tone and length of breath means." He stares at the floor for a while, lost in his own thoughts. And then he softly says, "Honestly, it'll be a hell of a lot easier if she's the one to initiate things. That'd mean she's mentally ready for it and her body will follow behind. I take it it's her first time too, so you're gonna _need_ to make sure she's ready." He shakes his head. "You can't just barge in there."

"How in the world do I do _that_?"

When Kade lifts his head, I find him smiling rudely. "Ok, Tobias," he says. "Listen closely."

* * *

 **A/N: You guys' comments on the last chapter were all so amazing! Thanks for all your continued support. Can't wait to hear what you guys think about this chapter... Or the next ;) *hint hint***


	23. Chapter 23

**Bamberlee is the greatest. And without further Ado... ;)**

* * *

 **Chapter 23**

 **TOBIAS**

It's almost seven o clock by the time I'm done setting everything up. The kitchen is almost unrecognizable though the decorations are minimal. I put out a fresh table cloth; it's a rich blue with an embroidered pattern. The table is set for two, and in the centre of it lies a subtly attractive arrangement of flowers with a tall candlestick at each end.

As soon as I got home after work, I had escorted Tris upstairs and asked her to stay there until I called her down. I wanted to make dinner tonight as special as possible. It _is_ a special occasion after all.

I'm going to ask Tris to marry me… to _really_ marry me.

There was once a time when I would have been afraid to declare my feelings for her, afraid that everything could fall apart afterward. But tonight all I feel is the certainty that I _have_ to tell her how deeply I feel. But that's what being with Tris does to me. It makes me feel free, safe, like something inside me has opened up without the fear of being crushed.

I turn the lights off after I light the candles and I stare at the table for a moment. It really is beautiful. A beautiful table for a beautiful girl.

I take a breath and ease it out through my mouth before walking over to the bottom of the stairs. Though nervous, I feel ready. More than anything else, this is what I want. _Tris_ is what I want.

"You can come down now," I yell with a smile, knowing full well she's been waiting by her bedroom door for the past two hours or so.

I see when the bedroom light goes off and I hear as she shuffles down the dark hallway. She giggles for some reason and she wears it on her face when she arrives at the edge of the stairway.

"Tobias?" Tris says my name questioningly, curious as to what I am up to.

"Come down," I say softly. I reach my hand up toward her.

Tris then walks down the stairs carefully, the light of the candles glowing against her skin. She looks like an angel in her nightgown; her long golden hair is let down.

She takes my hand when she arrives at the bottom of the stairs and I lead her over to the kitchen. Tris gasps as she sees it, her legs suddenly locked in place. With a smile I nudge her forward, and as she walks she glances back and forth- at me and then at the table and then back at me.

"Tobias, what is all this?" she asks softly.

"This… is dinner," I answer.

Tris is quiet and thoughtful as I pull out her chair, and I urge her to sit. She stares at the flowers and then takes the edge of the table cloth between her fingers. She glides them back and forth over the embroidered pattern, fully appreciating its uniqueness.

"So beautiful," she whispers as she stares at it.

"Yes… you are," I can't help but say as _I_ stare at _her_.

Even under candlelight I notice the change of colour in her cheeks, and with my hand cupping the opposite side of her face, I bend and leave a kiss on her forehead before finally leaving her side.

Tris' eyes follow me as I remove the empty plate from in front of her and take it with me. I prepared a simple meal, pasta and chicken, but I made the chicken the way she likes it now, stewed down with vegetables. She smiles as I set the plate in front of her, and I'm almost sure her eyes gloss over.

After I'm done serving her, I serve myself and take a seat beside her, suddenly wondering where I had even gotten the ridiculous idea to sit at the other end of the table, all the way across from her. I nudge my chair even closer to hers, and quietly we eat in the candlelit darkness, elbow to elbow, thigh to thigh.

Tris leans into me and smiles all the way through, until her plate is empty. And even then she refuses to stand from the dinner table, leaning her head against my shoulder and wrapping her arm around mine. I relish the closeness. I want her closer.

I turn a little to face her better. "What are you thinking?" I ask her.

"That this is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me," she answers.

I smile a little and bring her lips up to meet mine in a soft kiss. "You deserve more," I say.

She shakes her head. "You didn't have to do all this, Tobias."

"I wanted to," I say urgently. "You don't know how much you mean to me, Tris." And I decide _this_ is the perfect moment to tell her exactly how much she means to me.

Unhooking our arms, I stand from the chair and gently usher it behind me. I get on my knees in front of her, and Tris looks at me curiously as I slowly take her hand in mine and remove the wedding band from her finger.

Her eyebrows furrow. "I thought you liked when I wore it," she says softly.

"I do," I answer. "That's why I'm going to give it back to you. But before I do, there is something I want to ask you." Tris' eyes open wide, but they urge me to continue. So I say, "Tris, will you be my wife?"

"Tobias," she whispers, her head twisting a little to the side. "I already am."

"No," I shake my head and explain, "I mean I really want you to be my wife, Tris. This marriage may have been forced on us both, but somewhere along the way I fell in love with you and I swear to God you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. You are what I want. You are what I need. And-"

"Tobias," she says again. I don't let her interrupt me.

"And maybe… maybe I'm destroying the bit of peace we've managed to construct among all this chaos by telling you this, but Tris, I love you," I continue ardently. "I've loved you from the very beginning, even when I couldn't stand you, and I refuse to spend the rest of my life without you." I pause for a moment, taking in the way her gorgeous eyes are boring into mine. "Be my wife," I plead. "Because I want to be your husband. I want to wake up beside you every morning and fall asleep beside you every night. I want to wake up to blue walls and no breakfast because you're still in bed with me. I want to go to the bathroom to find all the toilet paper gone. Not because I have to, but because you are the most incredible woman I have ever met and I _want_ you with me… forever."

With my free hand, I reach up and wipe the tear streaming down her cheek. "Because of you I found the strength to do and say things I've only ever dreamed of," I continue. "Yeah, you drove me mad in the process but isn't that what marriage is? Two people who push each other to be better?"

And that's all she's ever done, even when she never meant to. From the day I met her, Tris has only made me want to try harder to be better. She is different, she is more, and she makes me want to be different too. She makes me unafraid to embrace what I am, unafraid to harness the strength in it.

"So, with all that said… Will you be my wife?"

She smiles though her lips tremble. And sliding her finger into the ring, Tris says, "Tobias, I already am. I was yours the minute I laid eyes on you. I don't know how but somehow even _then_ I knew it, because I felt it. And it only became stronger the more I grew to know you. Because you were- you _are_ everything I could have ever wanted and needed." A thick tear falls from her eyes. "You make me want to be better too. I can be selfless because _you_ were selfless even when I gave you no reason to be. You are everything to me, Tobias, and I love you," she admits earnestly. "I think I always have."

And then, while still on my knees, Tris falls on the floor with me and her lips meet mine in a ravenous kiss. Her arms wrap around my neck as her tongue starts to battle with mine. I kiss her back just as hungrily, my hands running up her sides and clutching at her neck. Standing to my feet and lifting her from beneath her arms, I pull her up with me and set her on the table, unceremoniously pushing the empty plates out of our way.

The kiss only becomes hungrier when my hands find Tris' face again, and I pull her mouth closer, kissing her harder than I ever have. Her legs wrap tightly around my waist and she pulls me into her. She grinds against me and for the first time since they collided, our lips are broken apart as a moan is forced out of me. She awakens a sleeping animal inside me and I grab her thigh, but my squeezing hand is unsatisfied and only lets go as a means of finding its way under the barrier that is her nightgown. But then still, my hands on her bare skin, I want more of her, and my hungry hand isn't shy as it explores the length of her leg.

Tris is just as bold, her fingers working at the buttons of my shirt. She pushes her hands inside and I shudder as she runs them up my chest before pushing the shirt off me, exposing my bare chest to her. I am greedy and I bite her lip before sucking on the softness of it.

Tris pulls away and slowly traces the outline of my chest with her finger. I'm sure she can feel my skin thumping to the rhythm of my beating heart. When she looks up at me again with those captivating eyes, her hands take mine and set them on her chest, just below her neck, at the first in the string of buttons on her nightgown.

I stop. I know exactly what I want and I know Tris can see it in my eyes. But I don't want her to do this because of me.

"Tris, we don't have to," I say against her lips. "It's whenever you're ready."

Tris kisses me softly. "Please," she whispers. "I want you, Tobias. I'm ready." And as her soft lips graze against mine one more time, I'm sold.

"Ok," I concede. "But not here." I don't want our first time to be anywhere but on our bed. However, one day, I _will_ have her on this table.

With one arm around her back and the other beneath her thighs, I lift Tris off the table, and in my arms I carry her up the stairs. She leaves tempting kisses against my neck as I walk, and it takes everything in me to pace myself as I set her on her feet and take her button between my fingers.

I unbutton the long gown all the way to the bottom before picking Tris up again and laying her on the bed. I set her down gently and I hover over her, and with her eyes piercing into mine, she undoes both the button and zipper of my pants. And then, slowly, I push the gown from her shoulders and down her arms while my eyes studiously take in every inch of skin as it is revealed.

Her body is exquisite, her skin smooth and flawless. Still, Tris looks at herself nervously as she lies there in nothing but her underwear. Being more exposed than she's used to, Tris' hands nervously fall over her stomach in a poor attempt to cover herself. I pull her hands away and place a kiss on either one.

"Don't," I plead. Wanting to see all of her, I wrap my arms around her and loose the strap from her bra. I pull it away gently and drop it on the floor. Instantly, my body reacts to the sight of Tris' naked chest below me. I feel as the hair on my hands stand up, as my mouth waters, as my pulse quickens and as I stiffen between my thighs.

Her breasts, though small, are inviting and supple; the pink bud on each centre calls to me and I lick my lips as desire possesses me. I trace my fingers lightly down her neck and between her breasts, and then I plant a kiss there.

Unable to resist, I taste up the sides of her left breast until I've arrived at the centre of it; Tris gasps as I take her sweet breast into my mouth, sucking and nipping at her bud. Her hand digs into my hair as she moans and writhes under me with every slick of my tongue. And then, after having tasted her mounds, I leave a trail of soft kisses on her chest, on her shoulders, up her neck and by her ear where I whisper, "You are so beautiful."

Tris is bold again, and her fingers attack my pants the way her lips attack my mouth. I help her and slide my way out of everything, leaving myself completely naked on top of her.

She is the one to stare this time. Her fingers trickle down my sides and then stop at my hips. She's lost in thought, but not willing to give her even a moment to lose her nerve, I reposition myself, sitting farther down the bed. I take her leg into my hands and bringing it to my lips, I start at her ankles.

Tris is anxious at first. I feel it in the way her legs stiffen in my hands. So I make the kisses slower, softer, wetter, and her leg becomes heavy as she relaxes into me. I spread her legs as I go, and she moans with want when I kiss the inside of her thigh. I stop to remove her last bit of clothing, slowly pulling it down her legs and dropping it on the floor.

She lies bare in front of me, naked and open, and I become dizzy with want. My breathing becomes heavy and I summon my self-control; it's the only thing that stops me from drowning myself inside her. And knowing it will be worth the wait, I execute patience.

Tris groans when I begin again on the other leg, sucking the skin of her ankles, and I can tell by the way she writhes in the bed that she wants more. Her hands grab tightly at the sheets and her back arches a little, pushing her enticing middle in my direction. I want to taste it.

I continue to make my way up, spreading her legs with my kisses. And when I arrive there, my heart is racing, but I don't want to stop. Her body unfolded in front of me is inhumanely inviting as it glistens in anticipation.

Hungry, I taste her, tracing my tongue along the length of her seam. Tris gasps loudly when I do, so I do it again.

"Tobias," she cries out breathily as her legs open wider for me and her fingers crawl their way into my hair again. She grinds against my mouth, and her reaction only makes me dig deeper with my tongue as I circle it inside of her, devouring her core. She is sweet like no other sweetness I've ever known.

Ready to take her, and Tris almost ready to receive me, I lick the crease inside her thigh and then up her flat stomach. I look up at her when I break away, and she's staring at the ceiling, breathing heavily with her mouth open. Feeling accomplished, I smile.

I kiss all the way up to her breasts and I take them into my mouth again, making her shiver beneath me.

Strong and determined, Tris pulls me up toward her, bringing my lips to hers. "I want you," she says, her sweet breath in my face. Oh, and I want her too. Badly.

"It might hurt," I answer softly. Tris bites her lips and nods. Then, staring into her eyes, I place myself at her entrance and slowly I push forward.

We both let a heavy breath out as I slide inside her, our breaths mixing in the air between us. I'm afraid to move but then Tris grabs my behind and urges me forward. Slowly, I move in and out of her, careful not to hurt her. Though tight, the movement is slick and the sensation is phenomenal. She is warm and wet on the inside, and though I move slowly, my body aches to lunge inside her.

Her nails are digging into my back as she whispers my name and then says, "I love you."

"I love you too, Tris," I whisper back before taking her lips as prisoner, holding them in a sensational kiss.

And together we move like that, our bodies and lips entangled. Tris wraps her legs around my waist, pulling me deeper into her, and she moans every time I enter her, bringing her hips up to meet me.

The closeness is everything I imagined and more. It is the sweetest dance of pleasure and love and wanting. And as I feel her breasts rubbing against my chest as I move on top of her, my skin is filled with goose bumps and I struggle to catch my breath.

Much too soon, I feel a swelling inside me and I know that I'm close. But nowhere near ready for this to be over, I flip us over so Tris is sitting on top of me. She steadies herself with her hands pressed against my chest, and slowly she begins to move. She glides forward and back and my hands clutch at her hips as she moves. The view is spectacular, and my fingers dig into her sides as I watch her breasts dance in front of me.

When she falls into me, wanting to taste my lips, I flip us over again. She's wetter now and I feel high with pleasure as her walls tighten around me. I can't help but thrust a little harder and faster. Tris bites into the skin of my neck and begs me not to stop. So I don't. I feel as her legs tremble where they are wrapped around me, and I hear as her breaths become increasingly unsteady. She cries out as her nails dig deeper into my back, and joining her in ecstasy, I let go.

I don't pull out of her and she doesn't release me. And we both lie there, locked in an embrace, kissing tenderly until we've both fallen from our high. I pull Tris on top of me when her eyes begin to get heavy, and with tangled legs and locked fingers, she falls asleep on my chest.

It is the most precious moment of my life: the moment when I let it sink in there are no more barriers between us.

I am hers and she is mine.


	24. Chapter 24

**:) So I'm super happy that you guys liked the M! For the readers who'd rather not read the M scenes but want to continue reading the story, do let me know and there will always be a notification in your inbox as to which chapters and which part of the chapter. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter as much as the last! :) P.s- Important A/N at the end of this chapter.**

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 **Chapter 24**

 **TRIS**

I awake to Tobias' touch on my skin. His fingers rub gingerly against my bare back. My breasts are pressed against the warm skin of his chest, and they rise and fall with him as he breathes.

I feel the hum of his voice vibrate beneath me as I stir in his arms, and I look up to find him smiling sweetly at me. Even with rumpled hair and pillow marks on his face, Tobias is perfect. His dark blue eyes are wide open after a full night's rest, and his smile is as honest as it is handsome. I smile back.

I roll over a little, my body landing in the space between his chest and arms and my head at the crook of his neck. Tobias' eyes just follow mine as I get comfortable in his arms. As soon as I am, I begin to run my fingers along the length of his strong front. His chest is just as beautiful as I had imagined it.

"Hey," I say to him as I lock my legs around his.

"Hey," he smiles back.

Gently, Tobias smooths down the side of my hair not pressed against him and leaves a kiss to my forehead. There is no doubt in my mind that this is how I want to start every morning for the rest of my life; I have never felt as whole as I do now, waking up in his arms after having surrendered myself to him in the dark.

Being with Tobias last night was incredible. I had expected some level of strangeness, but he only made me feel comfortable and wanted. And after having his mouth on me, kissing me in places I never imagined were meant to be kissed, desire overruled my fear and ultimately consumed me. Having him inside me had stung at first, but it also felt so incredibly sensational that I only wanted him deeper. And deeper he went, all the way to the depths of my soul, strengthening that much more the bond between us.

Even now as I lie in his arms, I feel bound to him and unable to break away. I feel as though my heart would rip in two if I even dare tried.

When Tobias pulls his face away, he's still smiling, but with some rude thought in his head.

"What is it?" I ask him softly, squinting my eyes a little.

"I'm out of my damn mind," he says. When combined with the smile on his face, the words make no sense to me.

"What do you mean?"

"On our wedding night," Tobias answers, "You told me if I thought you were ever having sex with me, I was out of my damn mind."

My mouth opens as wide as my eyes do. Remembering exactly the day, time and place where I told him this, I begin to laugh in Tobias' arms, and I push playfully against his chest.

"You are horrible," I whisper and giggle at the same time. We both know I had meant it then. We both also know that last night I was begging for it.

"Maybe," Tobias chuckles. "But I need to know. Do you still think it's useless?"

Certain I will regret it, I roll my eyes and ask, "What?"

"The sack of meat below my waist."

"Oh my God!" I laugh again, harder this time. And a little embarrassed and completely flustered, I cover my face with my palm, and when that's not enough, I bury my head in Tobias' neck. I mentally curse the day I ever thought it fit to ignorantly mock his perfect, God-given body parts.

"Keep up, Tris," Tobias says playfully, squeezing me tighter and kissing my hair.

His confidence only makes him that much more desirable, and I press myself deeper into his embrace. But why shouldn't he be confident? Tobias is strong and attractive though our faction would prefer he not be comfortable with himself. I know _I've_ certainly never been. And last night, though it was our first time with anyone ever, it was obvious to me he knew exactly what he was doing. At least one of us did.

"I loved last night," I admit. "I really did."

His smile widens. "Me too."

"Was it everything you thought it would be?" I ask curiously. I never knew what to expect from sex. My mother had told me little. I suppose because she knew words would not suffice. Being with Tobias had all but transcended physical, tangible, explicable things.

"It was more. Because it was with you," Tobias says. "And there is nothing on this earth that compares to being with you, Tris. No one makes me feel the way you do." His face becoming serious, he strokes his fingers against the curve of my jaw. "I love you."

"I love you too," I whisper, and our lips meet somewhere in the middle. The kiss is soft and sweet, and even when its over, our lips hover, never really pulling away from each other.

After a while Tobias says, "I have so much to tell you, Tris."

I lower my eyes and take in a breath knowing I am equally guilty. "Me too," I answer.

As much as we've shared, there's still so much I haven't told him. Quite honestly, I wouldn't even know where to begin. I suppose my aptitude test would be a good place to start. "You want to go first?" I ask.

With a slight nod and pulling me a little bit closer, Tobias begins to say, "It all started when I was four years old, when I was old enough to remember." He speaks solemnly. "Marcus was cruel, especially to my mother, but he'd keep her locked up inside the house so no one would suspect anything. Most nights I never slept, afraid he'd come storming in to punish me for doing something wrong. Although, he never did need a reason."

Tobias goes quiet for a short while, but then he continues and says, "It started off as yelling, and then slapping, and then one day he graduated to hitting my mother in the face. More than once he had knocked her unconscious, so the last time he did, I just sat by her side, waiting for her to wake up." I stiffen in his arms as Tobias swallows hard and then says, "She never did."

I gasp in horror. I had always believed Tobias' mother had died of natural causes; that was the story after all, a story Marcus himself had propagated. It's no wonder he did. And I'm sure he knew no one in Abnegation would ever question him. I certainly never knew the kind of man Marcus was before he threatened to ruin my parents' lives. But even after I came to know him, as cruel as I realized he was, I never in a million years would have imagined _he_ was in fact the cause of his own wife's death.

I once thought he was a monster, but now I know there is no level of vile that compares to Marcus Eaton. And I hate him for everything he ever did to Tobias and his mother.

I take my husband's sagging face into my hands. "Have you told anyone about this, Tobias? Marcus needs to pay for what he's done!"

He shakes his head and doesn't look at me. "I spent most of my life telling myself that's not what happened, I was confusing it with another time or there was something wrong with the memory. You're the first person I've told, Tris."

Tobias then looks deep into my eyes and I see the vulnerability in _his_. With my fingers still cradling his face, he says, "I didn't want to believe he was the one who had killed her. And when he started hitting _me_ I was ashamed; I thought it was because I wasn't good enough and maybe if I tried harder I'd make him proud of me one day. That's why when he started training me for the aptitude test, I was hopeful for a while. I thought it meant he was finally exercising faith in me. But I was wrong."

"He trained you for the aptitude test?" I cut in.

Tobias nods. "He told me I might be aware during the test, and to say I wasn't in the event that I was asked. He suspected I might have been Divergent. And I am," he confesses.

Imagine, there I was, thinking I had the secret of a lifetime only to later figure out that my husband has the very same one.

Tobias searches my eyes for an answer, so I say, "I know. So am I."

"I know," Tobias says with a faint smile. "And I also think you know we're not safe here anymore… in Abnegation."

I nod, aware that we're about to shift from one heavy topic to another. I don't mind it. The fewer secrets there are between us the better.

"My mother told me the reason Erudite want to overthrow Abnegation is because they're hunting people like us- Divergents. They want to be able to do whatever they want with us without answering to the council. And considering how hell-bent they are on achieving that, I'm sure they won't stop at newspapers articles and rumours."

"I'm considering the possibility of a physical attack," Tobias says.

I pinch my eyebrows together as I consider this and I'm suddenly struck by a wave of horror. It would be genocide. And when I ask myself if I truly believe the Erudite would go that far to assume control, I can't convince myself that they wouldn't.

"We'd never be able to defend ourselves, Tobias." I say, panicking. When he agrees, I ask, "So what are we supposed to do?"

"I really don't know," he answers. "Assuming they'd even believe us, we can't force the council into taking action, and we don't have enough information to take matters into our own hands. Without proof, trying to expose Erudite would be futile. Most of our own faction would prefer to choose not to believe us."

"But we have to at least try," I insist. "We can't let this happen."

Tobias agrees with a nod and then suggests, "Which is why we need to find out exactly what they're planning. Maybe Caleb would know what's happening or would be able to get us information."

"I wouldn't be able to reach him. No member of Abnegation is allowed on Erudite grounds unless summoned by Jeanine Matthews." I roll my eyes just as Tobias lets out a heavy sigh.

"Well, I was actually thinking I could ask Marcus if all else fails," he then explains. "I'm going to talk to him tomorrow after the council meeting, see if I can find out everything he knows."

I can tell by the look on Tobias' face and by his body language that asking Marcus for information is the very last thing he wants to do. Now that I know all that Marcus has done, it amazes me that Tobias was even able to live with him all these years. "How can you be so sure he'll even tell you anything?" I ask.

"I can't," Tobias answers. "But I at least have to try."

I admire my husband as I slowly pass my thumb back and forth against his jaw. Tobias is stronger than I ever would have imagined. The horrible childhood he had was not enough to ruin him; He lies in front of me as one of the best men I've ever known. And through it all he still loved Marcus and fought to give him a chance, as much as he never deserved it. It's something I could never understand. My father has always only ever been a good man. He's always made it so easy for me to love him, and so has my mother.

Tobias' eyes look deeply pensive for a short while before they turn away from me, glancing at the small clock on the dresser table. "Speaking of councils, I should probably get going," he says. I frown at him and he stares back at me. He doesn't move. "I don't want to go."

I wrap my legs tight around him and both my arms snake around his neck. It's amazing how quickly I've become comfortable being naked and skin to skin with Tobias. "I don't want you to," I almost whimper. Just the thought of him leaving makes my heart ache.

As much as I am against spending my days being unproductive, I've decided I'll only make my request for job placement when the thought or mention of Tobias doesn't make me pink with giddiness, or when his absence doesn't make me completely useless. Assuming there will be ever be such a day; I only ever want to be close to him in every way.

As if reading my mind, Tobias presses himself closer into me. Then, taking my hands into his own, he kisses my forehead and begins to trail tender kisses down the sides of my face. Smiling a little, he slowly flips us over, untangling me from him, and continues attacking my neck with his full lips.

I giggle but never do I protest. "What are you doing?" I ask, as if I don't know, as if I don't want him to.

"Giving you a proper goodbye," he says.

Tobias' mouth continues downward and my breath is sucked back into my lungs when I feel the tip of his tongue caressing my nipple. I writhe beneath him, my back instinctively arching, pushing more of me into his mouth. He teases me, sucking and nipping gently at me. A sultry moan escapes my mouth without my permission.

"You like that," Tobias whispers against my skin. It's not a question. Still, I nod.

He returns his mouth to my body and all of me trembles. My skin feels hot everywhere he kisses and sucks me. My eyes follow him as he kisses down my stomach and then takes a taste of my womanhood before kissing in between my thighs. The feeling is sensational and I forget to breathe the entire time.

He kisses his way back up until his mouth is on my neck again. And when he straddles over me, my heart races as I feel the hard tip of him brush against my entrance. I am still sore from last night, but knowing I want to feel him inside me again, one more time before I'm forced to spend the day without him, I grab the skin of his back and pull him down into me.

Finally, he attacks my lips and the taste is peculiar. I suddenly realize it's the taste of _me_.

Reaching down between us, Tobias guides himself in between my legs and I spread them for him, inviting him in. He thrusts forward and I gasp as he groans, my nails clawing deep into his back.

It's strange at first, the feel of him as he fills me. He thrusts harder and faster than he did last night, though still gentle, and the throbbing between my legs transforms into a wave of pure ecstasy. It's easier this time, though still a sensual mix of pain and pleasure; I cry out his name over and over again and he comes to life, only giving me more of him as a reward. He groans gutturally but loudly as he thrusts inside me, and he buries his mouth into my neck to silence it, but the sound of our passion could never be contained within our thin, blue, Abnegation walls.

Tobias clasps onto my skin as I clasp onto his, our bodies erotically compressed to form a single being. And just like that we make love for the second time, but for much longer this time, until again and again I shudder with completion in the arms of Tobias, my husband.

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 **A/N: So we're winding down, or rather, building up, to the end of the first half of this story. There are only two chapters left, after which comes the sequel to Tris' and Tobias' passion which will be put to the test in our action packed sequel! I might be posting it as a different story, or I might just post it directly behind this one depending on how long it turns out to be. Please do follow this story or follow me as an Author if you'd like to receive a notification when Unbreakable Passion finally goes up ;) Thanks for all your continued support guys! :)**


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

 **TOBIAS**

Hesitantly, not wanting a reason to have to move, I glance over at the small clock on our dresser table. It heartlessly betrays me, showing a much later time than I should still be in bed or even in the house. Still, I stay put. I've become entirely addicted to waking up to a naked Tris in my arms. And already unforgivably late, as I pass my hand down the length of Tris' hair and down her back, I decide a couple more minutes couldn't possibly make the damage any more severe.

I can't believe there was ever a time when I thought it made sense to push her away. Holding her close is so much better.

"I'm not complaining, but you can't keep this up, you know," Tris says into my chest before even giving me a chance to realize she's awake.

"I can't?" I challenge her.

"You're late, Tobias."

"I don't care." I really don't. Teasingly, I lean down and begin to leave small, gentle kisses all over her face.

"You were late yesterday too." Tris glances behind her and her eyes open wide when she sees the clock showing a magnificent 8:45 am. She practically jumps. "The meeting's probably already started by now! You need to go," she urges me.

Funny. Her body is saying something else as her legs and arms are draped over me, trapping me beside her. But I'm not surprised; neither of us has been able to keep our hands off each other ever since the night we first made love.

"No," is my gentle answer.

"Tobias, are you really going to miss your first official councillors' meeting?"

"Yes." Tris shoots me a pointed look and I can't help but laugh. "What are they gonna do, Tris? Un-elect me?"

But before she can answer, I swear the ground shakes just as the sound of a loud, thunderous rumbling pierces the walls of our home. Alarmed, I'm brought to life, and I urge Tris to stay in the bed as I dash toward the window and spread open the dark curtains. In the distance I see a wave of smoke and flame entrapping the only building in Abnegation that can be seen above all others.

It's the City Hall.

"Tobias, what was what?!" Tris ignores my plea to stay put and rushes to my side. I am too much in shock to answer her question or even look at her, and my fingers become pale as they tighten around the curtain. I watch as the flames consume the building and something dark inside me hinders any ounce of hope from brewing. This is no ordinary fire, and given the power of the explosion that preceded it, I'm certain everyone who was inside is now dead.

Suddenly it dawns on me that both Tris' parents would have been expected to attend the councillors' meeting.

Tris covers her mouth as she gasps beside me, and then just like me, she's locked in place. I'm about to pull her into my arms, but then the screaming begins, swiftly hauling my attention back through the window. There's a round of loud popping in the distance, and then another, and a wave of grey suddenly floods the main street. They're all running away from the fire instead of toward it, the very opposite of what one would expect any member of Abnegation to do.

When there's a third round of what I make out to be gunfire, I realize what day it is.

"Get dressed, Tris," I command.

She doesn't argue. Quickly stepping backward, Tris heads to the corner where I had gracelessly flung her clothes after pulling them off her. I follow suit and pick up my own from the floor. Frantically, Tris pulls her clothes on at the same time I do. "What in the world is going on out there?" she asks. Her voice is unsteady.

What's happening is that Kade was right. I was too late and now Tris' parents might both be dead because of it.

"We're being attacked," I answer.

When we're both fully dressed, we pull the curtain to the side once more and take a look outside. And although we expect to find the streets rampant with chaos and frightened Abnegation, what we see is not what either of us had expected; there are Dauntless soldiers, armed and marching through the streets of Abnegation. They're indelicately pulling people out of their homes and not hesitating to shoot anyone who refuses to cooperate or who gets in their way. When I watch the body of a young woman fall to the ground, I immediately feel like all the blood has been drained from my body.

"By… Dauntless?" Tris stammers. I am as perplexed as she is, but there's no doubt in my mind that the Erudite are the ones behind this. They must have corrupted Dauntless somehow. After all, it was always their intention to turn the other factions against us.

I see when a soldier barges inside our neighbours' home and I hear as the shots are fired. I don't hesitate any longer; I race to collect my pair of shoes from under the bed. I strap them on tightly and stand to my feet only to find Tris still staring out the window.

"Tris! Love! Get away from the window!" I urge her just before yanking her toward me. In my arms, Tris stands almost stiff with shock.

"They're killing innocent people!" She shakes her head and says, "We can't stay here! What are we gonna do, Tobias?"

I take Tris' hand in mine. "Do you trust me?"

"With my life." Her words are heavy and sincere and I pray to God it never comes to that.

"Come on," I say insistently, and I pull her with me through the bedroom door. She stumbles to keep up with me as I race down the stairs and into the kitchen.

I tear the cupboard door open and there's a loud clattering as I rake the dishes to the side, reaching all the way to the back, right where I had stashed the gun. I pull it out as soon as my fingers grab hold of the cold metal and I pull black the slide to check if the chamber's loaded. It is.

Tris' eyes open as wide as I've ever seen them and lowly she asks, "Tobias, why do you have a gun?"

Understanding how bad this must look, but not really having the time to address it, I say, "I'll explain later. I promise."

Tris is obviously still unsettled with me, but hearing another gunshot outside, she agrees. Taking her hand again, I quickly usher her out the back door and I follow the trail behind the string of grey houses, using them as a shield from the main street. It was a common route for me in Upper Levels, when I had wanted to get to and from school without being seen by many.

We arrive at the end of the street where there are no more houses left to shield us, and with Tris in one hand and the gun in the other, I slowly peep around the corner. I watch as the soldiers pass, marching in perfect synchrony. There's no life in their eyes. They look straight ahead, and in pairs they turn, breaking off where they are supposed to. It's a perfect display of flawless execution of orders, only… there's no one shouting commands.

"There." I point to the small passage on the other side of the street that will lead us out of Abnegation and into the factionless sector. When the wave of soldiers has passed, we will have to cross it and we will have to be quick. "That will lead us out, but we're gonna have to run," I say to Tris.

She nods quickly. "Ok, but I need to stop at my parents' house," she says fervently. "They might still be there."

I sigh, thinking of a way to tell my wife that more than likely her parents are already dead. But just then, one of the Dauntless soldiers spots us and begins to walk in our direction. My heartbeat rapidly picks up, and with nowhere to run but back the way we came, I push Tris behind me and aim the gun at the soldier's head. I've never killed a man, nor would I ever want to, but I will if he dares try to hurt my wife.

The soldier is tall, but not as tall as I am, and with brown skin and thick curly hair. He briskly stops in his tracks when he makes out there's a gun in my hand and it's pointed at him, but he doesn't reach for his own weapon like I had expected him to. Instead, he slowly lifts both hands up in the air and says, "Whoa! Whoa!" There is fear in his face. He looks awake, not mindless like the others. "I'm here to help. I swear," he says. "Don't shoot me."

But I keep my gun on him; I don't put it away nor do I let Tris escape from behind me. I can't be sure he's not a threat and I'm not taking any chances.

The solider continues to advance, but slower this time, and with his arms raised. "That's close enough!" I bark at him when he's about twenty few feet away.

He stops walking and eyes me curiously for a moment. "Where'd you get the gun, Stiff?" he asks me, his voice is a curious, frightened and choked out whisper. I don't imagine he thinks I seized it from one his faction mates.

"None of your business," I bite back. I feel Tris clawing into my side as she tries to peer around me.

"Ok, fine," he says, raising one eyebrow. "Not my business, then. But it won't do you any good if any of _them_ sees you." His voice is strong and insistent and he quickly glances back at the army of black. "Please let me help you. We need to get out of sight or we'll all be dead."

I don't want to trust him, but he's right.

I finally lower my gun and he takes a few more careful steps toward Tris and me. "Thank you," he says. "The name's Uriah."

I keep my glare trained on him. "I don't care what your name is. Why is Dauntless attacking Abnegation?" I demand answers from him. He might not be mindless like them, but he is still one of them.

"Is he always this hostile?" he asks Tris as his eyes dart around us frantically.

I raise my gun to his face again. "How about you not speak to my wife?"

"Tobias," Tris chastises me as she pushes her way in front of me. "He's trying to help us."

Uriah lets out a deep sigh. "Thank you," he says to Tris, relieved. Then curiously he glances back and forth between Tris and me several times for some reason. "I'll answer your questions later," he says, "But now if you'd follow me, I can take you to a safe place. I see you glancing over at the corner there and let me just tell you now what a horrible idea that is. The chances of you crossing without being seen are slim to none. It's too big a gap."

"What about the others?" Tris asks, looking around wildly as gunshots continue to echo not too far away from us. Her selflessness becomes her; she's worried about saving others when there's a chance _we_ might not make it out of here.

"We can't save everyone," the soldier says levelly, and unfortunately I can't honestly say I disagree with him. The Abnegation are outnumbered and unarmed. As much as the thought of hiding and doing nothing until the attack is over is repulsive, doing anything else will most certainly get us killed. After which we will all be useless.

"We should at least try," Tris urges, looking at me for approval. "And I need to go get my parents! Maybe they weren't inside the City Hall when the explosion happened." Her eyes are filled with hope and I can't bear to kill it, but the odds are not in their favour.

"Tris," I begin softly, reaching out to touch her face, but she sees the hesitation in my eyes and takes off before I can grab her, running toward the passage way. I chase after her, almost forgetting that I can't call out to her without giving us away. The Dauntless soldier runs behind me. He's fast, but not as fast as I am.

Nonetheless, just as Uriah feared, none of the three of us is fast enough, and we're spotted just as Tris is entering the passageway. Two Dauntless soldiers begin shooting at us and I don't hesitate to shoot back; neither does Uriah. Both soldiers fall to the ground though I don't know at the hands of whose bullet. And then we run faster, still chasing after Tris.

Clear of the main street, this time I do yell after her. Uriah and I run with our guns ready and our eyes glancing in every direction; we only catch up to Tris just as she storms into her parents' house. He comes to a stop and with his gun pointed forward, Uriah scans our surroundings. No one appears to have followed us.

"We can't stay here long," he warns, a little out of breath. "Go get her. I'll keep watch out here and make sure no one gets inside. If someone does get by me, don't kill them unless you absolutely have to. It's like they're stuck in some kind of simulation; they're not in control of what they're doing. And my girl's out there. So is my brother."

Uriah's eyes are honest and I know he's telling me the truth. I had noticed it- the mindless way in which they were operating. Nonetheless, I am entirely curious as to how exactly it is that the Dauntless aren't in control of their own minds, and how it is that _he_ is. But having no time to waste, I nod and rush inside.

I shove the front door open and call out to Tris several times but she doesn't answer. When I find no one in the kitchen and living room, I rush up the stairs to the bedrooms. That's when I hear Tris crying out at the top of her lungs. It's an excruciating cry that fills my own body with agony, and all the blood rushes to my legs as I race to the door, praying she isn't hurt. In a panic, I push the bedroom door open and time stops. Tris is sitting on the floor with her mother's pale, lifeless body in her arms. There's blood all over the floor, blood that had spilled from the wounds in her mother's abdomen.

"Oh my God," I whisper, and my hands fall limp at my side. My heart aches like it never has as I watch my love mourn over her mother's body. I know that pain. I did the very same thing once.

But there's no time to mourn; when I hear Uriah fire several shots outside, I know it's time to leave. Tris' crying only intensifies at the loud popping, squeezing her mother's body between her arms. "Why are they doing this?!" she cries out, her face twisted and red and wet with her tears.

I rush to her side. "I don't know, but Tris, we need to go." I cradle her from behind. "I'm so sorry. We need to go, Love."

She lets go of her mother, but Tris becomes entirely limp and I have to pick her up in my arms and carry her down the stairs. She sobs loudly into my shoulder as I hold her, and though not wanting to put her down, I must. Just at the front door, I set her on her feet and take her face into my palms and say, "The minute we're outside that door we have to run, ok?"

Tris doesn't meet my eyes, but she nods. I take her shaking hand in mine, and with my gun ready, I quickly lead her with me through the door.

"Come on! We need to go! Now!" Uriah yells at us both. There are several bodies scattered around him and certain there's more soldiers on the way, we chase behind Uriah as he leads us to safety.

Out of breath, we arrive at an old abandoned building just outside Abnegation. And inside it, quietly crammed up, are about one hundred of my faction members. Some are covered in blood, and most faces are lost behind fear, tears and dirt. With Tris pulled tightly into my side, we walk deeper into the dark, dusty room. Surprisingly no one is staring at the Dauntless solider who walks in with us or even seems unnerved by his presence. I quickly grasp that he is the one who brought all these people here.

Reading my mind, Tris asks him, "You saved all these people?"

Shyly, he nods. "When I realized we were fully armed and headed toward Abnegation, I rushed ahead to try and get as many people out as I could."

Tris escapes my grasp, and taking two quick steps toward him, she pulls Uriah into her, hugging him. "Thank you," I hear her whisper.

Given the way most Abnegation are uncomfortable with even brushing arms with a stranger, I'm taken aback by the gesture and I stand stiff. I'm not sure how to react, but also grateful for what he's done and taking into consideration all that Tris has been through in the past hour alone, I decide to make nothing of it. I open my arms to her when she returns to me.

When Uriah steps away, I lead Tris into a corner where she can sit down. I try to steady her hands when I realize they're still shaking. And as if the day couldn't get any heavier, in the corner of my eye I spot Marcus sitting only a few feet away, staring at us. I pretend not to see him and I turn my back to him. I'd rather he weren't here.

It's not that I had wanted my father to die in that explosion, but it's only now I realize that not once had I thought of him when it happened.

And stranger still, Marcus proves to not be the only unexpected person in the room.

"Beatrice!" I hear a voice yell. I turn to look before she does, curious as to who is calling out to my wife. I can only imagine how she's feeling right now and quite frankly I'd rather she be left alone. My heart skips a beat when I see Caleb, pristinely dressed in Erudite blue, walking briskly toward us. Susan trails closely behind him. "Beatrice!" he yells again.

Quickly, Tris stands to her feet when she sees her brother and friend, and her tears thicken as she runs toward them. Caleb hugs her tightly and he eyes me suspiciously as he glances over her shoulder. I don't know what for and neither do I care. I'm not leaving Tris' side.

Seemingly uncomfortable with my presence, Caleb talks quietly for a while, and Tris begins to break down all over again as she tells him about their mother. I look away just as the tears begin to fall from Caleb's eyes. Unfortunately, my gaze lands on Marcus who is still staring right at me from the other end of the room. Now he knows I've seen him.

Not wanting to talk to him, especially during a day like today, but still having unanswered questions, I decide to approach him. He may have known about the attack, explaining why he survived it. I figure it best to not have Tris with me when I speak to him, so I leave her in the comfort of her brother's arms.

Taking several deep breaths, I advance toward my father. And when I'm standing in front of him, the first thing out of my mouth is, "Why are you alive?" But the question came out wrong. Or maybe it didn't. Either way, he doesn't answer me.

Marcus' face is hard and filled with more scorn than it is horror; quite an inappropriate mood to be in given the day's events, but it does look quite pale and sagging. I'm about to ask him if he knew about the attack when Tris suddenly appears at my side.

"Where is my father?" she asks Marcus. "Who else made it out of City Hall?"

For a short while, Marcus only looks at her. "I'm the only one who did," he replies and then he looks at me. "You were late," he seethes at me. "I had left the meeting to come and get you." Most likely to chastise me for being late two days in a row. Ironically, he owes his life to a bed he forced me to lie in. I'd laugh if it weren't such a grotesquely horrible day.

"So you didn't know about the attack?" I ask him.

Marcus' face is suddenly filled with anger and he only attempts to compose himself when he remembers he's surrounded by a hundred or so people. "I won't answer any more of your stupid questions until we're out of this dreadful place. We cannot stay here, Tobias," he growls lowly as he grabs my arm. My skin suddenly feels dead under his cold, calloused fingers.

"You stay away from him!" Tris pushes him off me before I've even had time to flinch.

"Beatrice!" Caleb scolds her as if she's a child.

"No!" she yells back at her brother. "He doesn't get to touch him!"

Marcus falls back onto where he sat, and he groans loudly as he presses a firm hand into his side. But the pressure of his hand isn't enough to stop the blood from gushing out of a wound I hadn't even noticed he had. Caleb circles quickly around us and kneels in front of Marcus, trying to get a look at the wound.

"Let's take you somewhere private where I can take a better look at it," he says when he's unsuccessful. He passes an arm around Marcus' back and helps lift him to his feet. Only then do I see just how weak my father is; he limps the entire way, practically tripping over his own two feet. A couple other members come to help when they see us trying to move him. I walk behind them with Tris, never failing to glance at her every other second.

Marcus is laid on a table inside a smaller room and the members who had assisted us leave when they're certain they won't be needed anymore. When the room is a bit less crowded, Caleb tries to remove Marcus' shirt without releasing pressure from the wound. "So you're a doctor now?" I hear Tris ask him, though not with bad intent.

"No," Caleb answers. "But we did have to do basic first aid and life skills as part of our initiation." He doesn't explain further as he continues to stare at Marcus' abdomen. He releases his hand from the wound just a bit and the blood begins to pour out again, running down Marcus' sides and off the table. Caleb presses into it again, shaking his head back and forth. "He needs surgery. There's major damage to the vessels and if they're not repaired soon he'll bleed out."

"How long?" Marcus asks, not making eye contact with anyone.

"Not much longer."

"Then leave us, please."

There's no doubt in anyone's mind that _us_ means him and me. Tris stares at me and her eyes are hesitant, but I place a kiss on her forehead, letting her know it's ok. She then walks out with Caleb, leaving me alone with my father.

The air is thick with tension and no one says anything for a while. This may very well be the last conversation we have together, and although that's something I spent most of my life looking toward, I wasn't quite hoping for it to happen like this. I always figured that one day we would part ways; he would go in his direction and I would go in mine. But here we are, him bleeding to death on a table in front of me.

"There are some things I need you to know, Tobias," Marcus begins roughly. I can see it pains him to speak. "I don't have time to waste so just let me speak." His tone is condescending and it angers me, making me feel ugly inside. Maybe it's because I'm already on edge, but even as I stand beside his death bed I want to walk out of the room and leave him talking to himself. What kind of son does that make me?

"I know you lied to me when you told me you weren't aware during the aptitude test," he begins. "I am Divergent and so was your mother. The probability of you not being like us was slim to none. That's why I fought to get you into leadership. The Abnegation are foolish and they underestimate the other factions. It's why I stopped trying to change them and I made a plan for the faction, for _us_." He glances at me briefly and then says, "But I failed."

"Did you know about the attack?" I ask pressingly, ignoring his request to just 'let him speak'.

"I did," he answers bitterly. "But it wasn't supposed to happen like this. I gave Jeanine what she wanted in exchange for our safety."

"What did she want?"

"Abnegation. She wanted to control our faction and take over governing of the city. I gave her the agenda with the dates of every important council meeting to be held within the next month because that is when she was supposed to strike. She assured me that the last Friday of next month was the chosen date, and after all the councillors were dead, you and I would be given a place in the new government."

I'm left speechless and my breath is stuck at my throat. Marcus didn't just know about the attack. He helped organize it with the hopes of not coming at a loss from it. No wonder he was so adamant that I play the part of perfect councillor while Tris play the part of perfect wife. This was never about pleasing the Abnegation. It was about not upsetting Jeanine.

"But she lied to me!" Marcus growls and then he groans in pain. I feel no pity for him. In fact, all I want to do is press harder on his wound until the pain renders him unconscious. "She was going to blow me up with everyone else," he whispers.

"But of course she had set you up," I almost laugh. "Do you really think Jeanine Matthews would share her reign with you?" I think it's safe to assume that Erudite is not Marcus' second aptitude. He is just as naïve as the Abnegation he criticized, judged, and set up for slaughter.

He glares at me. "I knew she wouldn't have made it easy, but I thought we could have fought for it and earned it. Erudite leadership will only destroy this city because they don't have its best interest at heart. They only think of themselves. And you and I were the only people who sat on that council with enough sense to know we had to fight to keep what was rightfully ours. We also had an advantage; being Divergent meant we'd be immune to whatever mind control technology Jeanine had achieved. And submerged in her government we would bring it down from the inside and take back leadership."

But that is a lie. We were not the only ones. On that council sat good men like Andrew Prior and Noah Taylor. Men who loved their families and would have selflessly fought to keep them safe had they been given the chance. "So you thought it best to hand them over to Jeanine so she could blow them up." I say the words slowly, my heart racing. I've always known my father was an evil man, but it aches me now, knowing that his vile blood runs through my veins.

"Because this is bigger than fifty councillors, Tobias! I had to make the sacrifice."

"Well congratulations," I say lowly. "I'm sure the remaining members of this faction are grateful for _your_ sacrifice."

"No one but the councillors was to be hurt," he says, as if that somehow justifies what he did. I stare at him blankly and all he does is shake his head at me for a while. "I had expected you to understand. But you frustrate me, boy!" he yells at me. "From the very beginning all you've done is resist me and everything I've tried to do for you."

"Because from the very beginning all you've done is insult me!" I yell back. "You say you chose me because I was different, but all my life all you've done is force me to be what you want me to be and not who I am! All my life you've made me believe that there was something wrong with me, that I was not enough!"

"Everything I did was to make you stronger, Tobias," he growls. "I've always only wanted what was best for you."

My head tilts to the side and my mouth opens wide. "So you saw it fit to beat the shit out of me?" I ask loudly, crossing my arms.

My father scowls when I curse at him. "My methods may have been unorthodox, Tobias. But my intentions have always been pure."

Sick in the head, he really believes what he says, and that's why I laugh. "And what about my mother? Were your motives pure then too?"

"Don't bring your mother into this, Tobias," he seethes at me.

"You killed her!" I cry out and Marcus becomes stiffer than he already was. "I can't talk about her, I can't even _think_ about her because all I see is the day you took her away from me!"

I've almost never mentioned my mother. It was always too painful and I'd push the memory of her into that corner where I hid all the things I pretended never happened. She was right there with all the cold nights I spent in the closet, the nights I had to sleep on my stomach because my back was too broken, and the nights I couldn't sleep at all.

I stare my father in the face, and for the first time in my life I let myself feel the anger, the hate. I let it rise up within me: the disgust with myself that I've always supressed for wanting the love and approval of the man who had killed my mother, for believing I needed something he might very well be incapable of.

"It was an accident!" Marcus shouts at me. "You think I meant to kill her?!" He tries to sit up but he can't. The pain is too much and he falls flat on his back again.

"You had no business beating her in the first place!"

He closes his eyes and takes a few breaths. For a moment he ponders, and I almost think he's on the verge of remorse, or even just accepting fault. But I am wrong, and his face becomes hard again as he stares proudly at the ceiling.

"Are we done here?" I ask, but he doesn't answer. It's not until I turn and start to head out the door that he responds, "Tobias, please. This is not how I want to leave us." His voice is weaker now and I'm sure he's much closer to death than he is to life.

I turn back to look at his pale, sweating face. "How could you ever expect anything else though?"

Eighteen years. That's how long I've been making excuses for him; most, if not all of them, at my own expense. But I refuse to do it any longer. I know what love is now. I know what it is to fight for someone and have them fight for you.

Being with Tris opened my eyes in a way they've never been before. She is selfless with me, never wanting to hurt me and only seeking my happiness. That is love, and I have hers; I am tired of fighting for his. But it doesn't matter anymore. I don't need it and I don't need him.

"I have nothing else to say to you. I don't need you to understand me, to approve of me, or to even like me. Maybe that makes me a horrible son, but I don't care. I deserved a better father." And watching the light fade from his eyes I say, "I'm not saying I want you to die. But honestly… You don't deserve to live."

I watch as he fights to take his last few breaths, his eyes filled with desperation and something I would have once passed off as sentiment, even if only for my own conviction. And when his chest falls and fails to rise again, I know he is gone.

And then suddenly, as strong as I was only moments ago, I feel it slipping away from me. I feel angry and hurt that even with his dying breath he refused to tell me he loved me. But I rebuke it, reminding myself that I am loved, even if not by him.

I turn to leave the room. There is no closure to be had here.

My steps are heavy and my breaths are shaky. The world has been turned upside down in only a matter of hours. Now both of my parents are dead. Both of _her_ parents are dead. Every member of our government is now dead. Every member except me.

That's when I stop walking.

* * *

 **A/N: Major thanks to Bamberlee for brushing up this chapter and making it what it is. I know this was a rough one guys but we all knew it was coming! One more chapter left before we conclude the first half of Tobias/Tris' journey, and I hope you guys stick around for the Dauntless half. I'm anxious to hear what you all thought of this chapter! xoxo**


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: And here it is guys. The final chapter of Inescapable Passion. *Deep breath goes here***

* * *

 **Chapter 26**

 **TRIS**

I've given up on trying to stop my hands from shaking; they're hidden away, deep in the baggy pockets of my dress. The tears have stopped now, but the images are unrelenting, flashing in my mind over and over again no matter how many times I try to push them away.

One minute I'm sitting on a cold, hard brick in a dark and unnaturally quiet open space, surrounded by wounded and grieving members of my faction. But the next minute I blink and I'm in my parents' bedroom, holding my mother's lifeless body in my arms.

I fidget constantly; my mind and my body are at war. I want to scream, I want to throw myself on the ground and heave something heavy at the wall. But instead, I force myself to quietly sit down and stare at the closed door separating me from Tobias. As much as I'd never say that I wish Marcus would hurry up and die already, I do wish Tobias would come out of that room.

I need him. I feel like I've been shredded into so many little pieces and only with his arms around me will I be able to not fall apart. But I glance at my brother for a while and I remember I need to be strong for him. At least I got to have some meaningful moments with my parents in the past few weeks. Caleb hasn't seen them since he left Abnegation two months ago. And now he will never see them again. As much as I'm hurting, I can't begin to imagine how _he_ must feel.

I remember I was so upset with him for having blindsided me when he changed factions, as hypocritical as that was, since I was hoping to leave too. But all of that seems so trivial now that our faction is destroyed and he's the only family I have left. And at least he came back to try and warn us as soon as he found out what was about to happen.

Inconspicuously, Caleb is staring at Susan who is all the way at the other end of the room. She is passing around water to the thirsty and small strips of cloth to the wounded. I admire her the way I always do. Her selflessness is her armour and she wears it even on a day like today when she's lost everything. And I say everything because unlike mine, her brother is not in this room.

"She misses you," I say to Caleb.

"I know," he answers. I wait for him to declare that he misses her too. He doesn't.

"You shouldn't have led her on... If you knew you were just going to leave."

Caleb only shrugs at me. "I didn't mean for it to happen like that." His eyes turn away from Susan and he stares at his feet. "I didn't make up my mind to leave until the night before choosing."

But I don't understand how he expected it would have turned out any other way. I didn't need the aptitude test to tell me I didn't fit into Abnegation. I was reminded of it every morning as I opened my eyes, every day at school, every night at the dinner table. I'm sure he must have known his thirst for knowledge was greater than his desire to sacrifice self. Obviously it was, since he chose to selfishly coax Susan into having dreams he knew he'd never fulfil, ultimately breaking her heart because he didn't want to do without her company until his final day in grey.

I turn to watch Susan again. She's graceful even though she's no better off than anyone else in this room. My brother is not a bad person, but I'm not sure he deserves someone like Susan.

"I heard some of the others talking," Caleb says to me after a while. "Apparently Tobias is the only surviving councillor. They're expecting him to lead them." He scoffs.

Defensively, my eyes square in on him. "You don't think he can?"

He shrugs. "What do _I_ know? But he's the youngest and most inexperienced. I'm surprised they even expect anything from him at all. It's probably just because he's Marcus' son."

"That's a lie," I say forcefully. Caleb's eyes open wide in surprise. "Tobias is more than suitable to lead this faction. He'll be a better leader than Marcus ever was." I believe the words wholeheartedly, but Caleb, who is still ignorant to the wicked demon that is or _was_ Marcus Eaton, only shakes his head at me. I'll be glad when Tobias proves him wrong. Unfortunately, there's not much left for him to lead, but even so, I believe in my husband.

"If you say so," Caleb mutters. "How'd you end up marrying him, anyway?"

I freeze. I wasn't expecting this question so soon; not like I would have wanted to answer it if he had asked me even five years from now. It's not that I don't know how to defend my love for Tobias, but rather because things are so different between us now, I don't at all feel comfortable divulging how it all happened. Especially since I've noticed the way Caleb looks at Tobias and the way he scowls when he talks about him.

I choose not to answer. Instead I ask, "Why does it bother you so much?"

"I'm your brother, Beatrice. And I think I have a right to ask considering I almost had a heart attack while reading a newspaper article about how you married a guy I'm certain you hardly even knew."

"I _do_ know Tobias."

"Do you, Beatrice? You don't think there's a problem with how controlling he is with you?" The authoritative tone he uses annoys me.

"Controlling?" I almost spit the word out. That's the last word I'd ever use to describe Tobias. "How can you say that? You've been around us for two hours at most."

"Beatrice, he won't let you out of his sight and he looks like he wants to hit anyone who even looks at you."

I roll my eyes and snap at him. "Well I'm sorry my husband wanting to protect me in the middle of a crisis offends you."

Caleb retreats, his face softening when he realizes how ridiculous he's being. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-" he cuts himself short. "He just looks like bad business."

"Well you're wrong," I say, leaving no room for discussion. Caleb obviously feels insulted, but he says no more. When he's quiet for a while I say, "I love him, Caleb."

My brother looks at me pensively for a while. For a second I think he knows nothing of love, especially when in the corner of my eye I can see Susan glancing at him, waiting patiently for us to finish our conversation because she would never interrupt.

"Does he love you back?" he asks softly.

"Of course he does."

Caleb nods but he doesn't seem convinced. Still, he doesn't press the issue. I guess I can't blame him since, as far as he knew, Tobias and I never spoke a day in our lives. "You'd tell me though, right? If something was wrong?"

"I would."

Caleb gives me a warm look. "You're the only family I have left, Beatrice," he says. He takes my hand in his and slowly he pulls me into his arms. He says no more but I understand his declaration. Maybe now my brother and I would be able to have the kind of bond I imagine siblings _should_ have, the kind of bond our parents always wished we had. Maybe it will be our way of honouring their death.

 **TOBIAS**

I spot Tris the second I walk out of the room. She and Caleb sit nearby; he has his arm around her shoulder, but only until her eyes meet mine. Tris stands to her feet in less than a second and makes her way over to me. I move toward her as she does.

We meet somewhere in the middle and our arms are wrapped around each other before we know it. Tris steadies her head against my chest and I lean down and kiss her hair. I let myself sink into the wholesome safety and warmth I always feel when she's in my arms.

It doesn't take me long to feel a pair of eyes on us, but when I lift my head I find that Caleb isn't the only one staring at us curiously. It might be because they all suspect their beloved leader is now dead, but almost every Abnegation in the room is looking at me with a subtle yet sad beaming in their eyes.

I look away. It makes me sick to my stomach watching these people mourn the man who signed the lives of their loved ones over to the Erudite.

I leave one arm around Tris' waist and lead her into a corner where we can at least have some privacy. I feel claustrophobic in the tight, dark corner, but better here than in plain sight where expecting members of my faction can take turns glancing at me. They might be concerned for me, or they might be wondering if I will stand up and officially lay claim to leadership of what's left of our faction. Either option makes me want to stay out of their line of sight. I don't want nor do I need anyone's pity, and I don't know if I want to be leader of Abnegation just yet. The thought alone terrifies me.

As we both sit down, Tris takes the hand that isn't wrapped around her and she locks her fingers in between mine. She rubs small circles into my palm with her thumb.

Here she is comforting me as if she doesn't have her own burdens to carry. I'm supposed to be there for her but I'm too caught up in my own heavy miseries, feeling like I'm about to explode. "I'm sorry I couldn't have given you more time with your mother," I say to her after a while. "I know how much you loved her- _love_ her." I correct myself.

It's amazing how we continue to love someone even after death. If nothing else, love might be the only thing strong enough to not just endure but disrespect the test of time.

Tris only nods into my chest before looking up at me.

"And I'm sorry about Marcus," she says. "I know he wasn't the best father to you, but…" She's not sure how to finish, but I know what she means. The bastard was sick, but will forever have been my father. Slowly, I lean down and kiss my wife softly on the lips.

"In his own twisted way he at least cared about me," I say softly. "I will always be grateful to him for one thing though."

"What?"

I take her chin between my fingers. "You," I say. I pull her lips back to mine again and I kiss her harder this time, trapping her mouth against mine. Tris tugs against my shirt, pulling me even closer to her.

And long after the kiss is over, for the rest of the afternoon, we find comfort in each other's arms.

* * *

Most of the day has passed when Uriah returns to the hideout. He had left only a few minutes after having brought us here, I imagine to look for more survivors and bring them to safety. I would have gone with him if I didn't think Tris needed me more. Besides, dressed in grey, I'm not sure how useful I would have been to him.

He walks toward Tris and me as he sees us. He walks slowly, but panting heavily, and there's sweat pouring down the sides of his neck. He shakes his head and passes a hand over his hair as he breathlessly says, "It's ugly out there... but it's over." Uriah looks lost, his eyes wandering around. Maybe he's trying to make sense of everything that led up to this moment. Maybe, just like me, he's trying to decipher the mound of blurred chaos that transpired in between waking up this morning and hiding out in a dark, cold abandoned building with a hundred Abnegation.

"Have the soldiers all left?" I ask him.

Uriah nods. "It's all clear. They were chased out."

"By whom?" Tris asks curiously as she leans up off my chest.

"The factionless," he says, his face filled with confusion. I imagine I have a similar look on my face. "They came out of nowhere, so many of them, and they were all armed," he continues. "They began shooting and yelling and at first I thought it was gonna be a bloodbath but Dauntless retreated. It was weird. Everyone just stopped marching at the exact same time, turned around and started to head back to the train."

Uriah stares off again; his fingers fidget at his side. I stand and press a hand into his shoulder.

I can't imagine which would be worse: waking up only to find out you partook in the murder of hundreds of people, or watching it happen right before your eyes. Remembering what Marcus had said about us being immune to whatever mind control technology Jeanine had invented, I come to the only logical conclusion; Uriah is Divergent. It's why he's been awake all this time.

"Are the factionless still out there?" I ask Uriah. If they came, then I'm almost sure Kade is out there. He was already on the lookout for an attack.

"Yeah, but I was afraid they would shoot me on sight so I hid out until I eventually made my way back here."

"We need to go look for survivors and help the wounded," Tris insists as she stands to her feet.

I shake my head. "Tris, I'd rather you stay here where it's safe."

"No. I'm coming with you. Besides, Uriah says it's all clear."

I fight hard not to give him an eye, but when Uriah gives me an apologetic look, I realize I might have failed.

"I'm gonna head back to Dauntless and see if I can figure out what the hell just happened," he says softly. "You guys stay safe."

I reach out a hand like I was taught to do when addressing the Dauntless. Uriah looks at it before he takes it. "Thank you, Uriah… for everything."

"It was the least I could do," he answers before letting go of my hand. He smiles kindly at Tris before turning around to leave the building. Tris and I watch him as he walks through the large, rusty door. In my silent thoughts I wish him well.

"He's brave," Tris says after a while. "He risked his life over and over again to save people he's never met before."

I nod, but I believe Uriah's bravery extends beyond what he did for Abnegation. He's ready and willing to return home to Dauntless even though he has no idea what he'll find when he gets there. Every single one of us in this room will need to muster up the same kind of bravery if we're going to face what's outside that door.

I take Tris' hand in mine and I lock my fingers in between hers. And hand in hand, we walk outside.

We're unprepared for what we find. Abnegation is a nightmare. It would be unrecognizable if it weren't for the simple grey houses lined off on either side of the street. It has become a battlefield, marred with scattered bodies and blood.

As we all look around us, the horror on every face is palpable and warranted. And the strangest turn of the tables happens right in front of my eyes; factionless men and women are removing their coats and wrapping them around orphaned Abnegation children. They come together to wrap up our dead, and respectfully they move the bodies out of the street. Not before long, others who had waited out the attack hiding in their homes come out to help. I let out a very small sigh of relief. At least there's more of us left than I thought.

I feel as Tris squeezes my hand and I pull her closer to me. And I swear I hear my name out of someone's mouth, only it's not Tris'.

"Tobias!" I hear faintly, and as I turn around I see him in the distance. Kade runs toward us, dodging around the busy factionless and Abnegation. "Tobias!" he says again as he's closer to me. I don't expect it, but Kade wraps a strong arm around my back and quickly draws me in. "Thank God you're ok," he says to me.

Tris takes a surprised step back as Kade hugs me. The gesture feels strange. I keep my arms to my side but I don't push him away. "Thank you… for coming to help."

Kade steps away but keeps his arms set on my shoulders. He looks me in the eye. "Abnegation has been the only faction in this city that has ever given a damn about us. Believe we won't let this go without a fight." He then shakes his head and looks behind me. "I could've stopped this. I should've dug deeper and harder the minute I heard they were planning to attack. I wasted time."

"We both did," I answer. "I guess we never imagined this is how they'd take us down."

The Erudite are known for being intelligent, selfish and proud. Violence is not their insignia. And looking at it now, after the fact, it's not at all farfetched to think they'd use the Dauntless to carry out this attack. I only wish we'd have realized that sooner.

Beside me, Tris takes my hand again. "No one would have ever imagined this, Tobias," she says and then she glances at Kade and eyes me questioningly. That's when I remember she doesn't know Kade. She doesn't even know I went back to find him after the day his uncle attacked her in the alley.

"I'm so sorry, Tris," I say. Kade's arms fall to the side and he takes a step back to look at her. "This is Kade. Kade, you remember my wife, Tris."

"Yes, I do," he says with a small smile. "You can call me Maddox. I'm a… friend of your husband's."

Tris only nods at Kade, but the curiosity is evident in her eyes and I know I have a lot of explaining to do.

"Anyway, I'm needed elsewhere. We're trying to move as much rubble as we can from what's left of City Hall. Even if there are no survivors, the leaders of this city deserve a proper burial. And Tobias," he touches my shoulder again. "I'm sorry about your father. And yours as well Tris." Kade glances between the both of us before turning around and heading back the way he came.

Tris doesn't let go of my hand, but she does take a step back and gives me an eye, waiting for an explanation. "That's the factionless man from the alley," she says.

I face her and wrap my arms around her waist. "I went back to look for him," I explain. "He had looked too familiar. Turns out he's an old friend of my mother's. Apparently she'd take me to see him every once in a while when I was a kid."

"Is he the one who gave you the gun?"

I nod and my face sinks. I'd hate for Tris to think I'm still hiding things from her, but I'd understand if she did. "I was going to tell you, Tris. I just hadn't gotten to that part of the story yet."

Tris searches my eyes and her shoulders relax a bit. I hope that means she believes me. After everything we've been through together, now is definitely not the time to rebuild already demolished walls.

Tris nods. "No more secrets, Tobias," she says to me pleadingly. I take her hand and intertwine my fingers with hers.

"No more secrets."

And then, unable to stomach the sight of all these bodies, Tris decides we should go to City Hall and help how we can. However, when we get there, the view is no different. Close beside the rubble are large blankets with the silhouettes of bodies beneath each one. Tris clasps a hand over her mouth and thick tears begin to stream down her cheeks; one of those bodies is her father's.

The dust has still not all cleared from the air, yet they see us, and everything stops the minute Tris and I are spotted. Respectfully, the Abnegation all bow their heads at me, and then they're looking at me again. My grip on Tris' hand only tightens when I realize what this is. As the last remaining councillor, they really are expecting me to take control. I don't know if I can.

"Tris, I'm not ready for this," I say to her quietly as I stand paralyzed when more and more of my faction take notice of my presence and begin to gather around. They stand expectantly, waiting for me to say something to them. "I thought I had years before I would have to take over. Why is this all happening now? I'm finally free. I finally have you. I was truly happy for the first time in my life."

With tears in her eyes, Tris looks at me and she firmly says, "Tobias, you can do this. I know you can. And you can do it better than your father ever did because you are a better man than he ever was. _You_ are their leader now and they're depending on you because they trust the man you've become. Marcus didn't do that. You did… all on your own."

I turn to face her. "I didn't do it on my own, Tris. I had you." I touch my hand to her face and I feel my body relax just a little. I wonder if she knows how contagious her strength is to me. Just watching her be strong and knowing she believes in me makes everything seem possible. "Promise me you will be right there with me every step of the way," I plead to her. "I need you more than you know."

She presses her hand into mine. "Tobias, I will never leave your side." She gives me a small smile. "Now go, Husband. Your people need you."

I do go, but I bring Tris with me. Hand in hand, we step toward the crowd of grey that has gathered at the remnants of City Hall. I wonder what they think as they look at me. I am young, inexperienced, and deep down I know I am not entirely like them. And how insulting to their trust would it be for me to lead them knowing it is because of me and others like me that the task of governing was brutally stolen from us?

But among the Abnegation it is believed that great leaders don't seek power; it must be given to those who least want it. I suppose in at least that way I am suitable.

I stand before my faction and take a look around before I speak. I decide that if I do this, I will do it my way. I will not lie about who I am. I will not squeeze myself into my father's shoes or anybody else's idea of what they think I should be. If we are to win this war- because we _are_ at war, we must give it everything we've got even if that means leaving some of our old ways behind.

I take a deep breath and slowly let it out through my mouth. My heart beats steadily in my chest.

"There are no words adequate enough to honour the men and women who died here today," I begin strongly. "Neither are there words putrid enough to describe the horror which took place on our soil. Let me say now that I believe such an immoral crime cannot go without an answer. We must seek justice for our people. We must also honour our dead, and we honour them by taking back what is rightfully ours; not because we lust after it, but because it was entrusted to us by our forefathers. Our love for this city must drive us to protect it, and we cannot protect it without a fight. We cannot allow anyone to drive us out of our homes and shoot us in the street like animals! We will not be eradicated!" I say fervently. "And if you will have me, as your only remaining leader, I will do my best to guide us through what will be the hardest journey we will ever have to make as a faction. It will be difficult and every single one of us will have to work together to make it through this. But we _can_ and we will. All I ask is that you fight with me."

Tris squeezes my hand as the Abnegation again bow, accepting me as their leader.

I feel relief for a short second, but then my heart feels heavy as I let it sink in that everything is about to change in the worst way; the world we once knew has been shattered. And before me stand hundreds of people, longing for freedom and safety, and it's up to me to lead them to it.

It's terrifying not knowing what comes next. But I stand firm with my wife by my side, because I know that as long as we have each other we can do anything.

* * *

 **A/N: And that's a wrap for the first half of our story! I truly hope you guys enjoyed it and are anxious to find out what adventures come next for Tobias and Tris :D Please remember to follow me or IP if you want to be a part of the sequel!  
Thank you all SO SO much for your support and kind words, and a VERY SPECIAL THANK YOU to BAMBERLEEEEEEEEE for editing all of it and for bestowing her wonderful ideas upon me. This story definitely would not have happened without her since I had initially planned for it to be a one shot and she somehow convinced me that we could make a full length story out of it, and then somewhere along the way a sequel came into play :) lol  
Posting this is bitter-sweet for me because I've enjoyed writing this story so much, so I'll try and put that same energy into writing the second half.  
Thanks again everyone! Until I post again :) XOXO**

 _Jojoboo90_


	27. UNBREAKABLE PASSION

**UNBREAKABLE PASSION**

Now that Abnegation has been destroyed, Tris and Tobias must put it back together. Will help from the factionless and Dauntless be enough to win the fight against Jeanine? Who can they trust? Will their love survive the trials of war?

 **A/N: It's almost here guys! I'm just posting the summary this week for those of you who'd like to reread the last few chapters or refresh a little bit before we move on with the story. Chapter one will be posted next weekend and then after that I should continue with weekly postings. Hope you're all still here and haven't abandoned me! :)**


	28. Unbreakable Passion Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

 **TRIS**

I wake up to the sound of my own screaming.

For the third time in only one night I was surrounded by bodies and blood. I was holding my mother in my arms while my heart raced so fast I felt I would vomit. I heard the endless echoing of gunshots and the terrified cries of people I once smiled at when I walked past them on the sidewalk. I lived it all over again, only this time, I perished with them as a Dauntless soldier put a gun to my head and pulled the trigger. I screamed as I plummeted into the black hole that had appeared out of nowhere to consume me.

"Tris!" Tobias cries out as he shakes me. I almost don't hear him over my own cries. I grab onto him, my body trembling as it searches for him. "It's ok!" he says, and he grabs me and pulls me into his chest, rubbing my arms and back frantically. "You're safe! I've got you!"

But I don't feel safe. I feel like the pain will rip me into shreds before I can breathe my next breath.

"I can't stay here, Tobias!" I cry to him, my breath catching between each word. "I can't stay in Abnegation!"

It was my idea to stay at home, thinking I would feel if only just a bit of normalcy. I wanted to believe that waking up here would make me forget the chaos outside the walls of our home, even if just for a fraction of a second.

I was wrong. Every second of last night was awful; it was filled with terrible dreams and screams and cries, all of which were seemingly unending.

"Ok," Tobias replies almost instantly. "We'll leave. I know where we can go."

He takes my face into his hands and it's impossible to miss the worry in his eyes. His heart aches for me and I feel selfish for it. He lost his only living parent; I should be comforting him too. But even knowing this, I don't have the strength to. I feel entirely hopeless, like the world has lost its meaning and there is no point to anything anymore.

I was stronger before. I had gathered my strength in the heat of the moment. But now that the dust has settled, my parents have been buried, and all that's left is a broken faction and blood stained streets, I feel the unmasked burden of our new reality.

Tobias kisses me on my forehead before sliding out of bed. After getting dressed, he removes a small bag from the closet and stuffs a few items of clothing inside it. I don't ask him where he's taking me. It's of no consequence. I fear it doesn't matter where I go; my dreams will go wherever I do. And if sleeping in the comfort of Tobias' arms in our bed wasn't enough to soothe my soul then I doubt anything or anywhere else could.

He packs all the essentials, though most of our belongings could fit in one bag anyway, then he returns and sits me up in the bed. Tobias is gentle as he clothes me, lifting my arms up to slide my dress on. He kneels in front of me and slips my shoes onto my feet and then stares at me for a second from down below. His eyes are dark and blue and thoughtful. Then, without saying a word, he stands to his feet and takes my hand.

His grip is soft but protective as he helps me to my feet and down the stairs. When I'm at the bottom, I take one final glance at our home before making my way toward the door.

I used to hate this place. I used to loathe being forced to call it home, and now my feet are heavy as I leave it behind. This is where Tobias and I were made. This is where we called each other horrible names and fell in love.

"You ready?" Tobias asks me after I've stared at the kitchen for far too long. I'm not, but I will never be.

I nod and walk toward the front door. I don't look back as I step off the porch and onto the sidewalk.

The streets are practically empty and eerily quiet. Many of the Abnegation have already left to stay in the shelters prepared by the factionless. Many were afraid the Dauntless would return; I was sure they wouldn't. Tobias had explained everything to me about his father and about Jeanine. She had accomplished what she wanted to; our council is dead, she's in control of the city, and she has no idea Tobias is alive. She has nothing to gain from picking off the remaining Abnegation. We have nothing with which to convict her, after all.

The Erudite haven't even so much as visited Abnegation after the attack. I, at least, thought they'd come around and pretend to offer aid. Not like there are many of us left to need it. Abnegation is a ghost town.

It's haunting but I do prefer the emptiness over the mass of bodies that were lying on the streets, black and grey alike. We had spent hours gathering our dead _and_ theirs. And we took even longer burying them all. After a while we had to resort to mass graves, burying entire families together. Many of the Dauntless soldiers were also buried together.

It had made me so angry; I hated watching them receive the honour of burial, even though I knew they were not acting of their own free will. I would never say it out loud because I'd hate for Tobias to think ill of me, but in that moment I had preferred the Dauntless soldiers rot in the streets. Though, I'm almost sure I wasn't the only one who felt that way; most of the Abnegation never looked at the soldiers. The factionless took on the task of burying them.

We walk slowly; Tobias' arm is wrapped around my waist as though he fears I'll fall. We walk for a long while before finally coming to a stop at the opening of a very familiar alley.

"We're going to Kade's?" I ask him with a hint of uncertainty in my voice.

"Yes," Tobias says. "He might know a place where we can stay."

I release a breath, relieved. I don't dislike Kade, but I'd rather be alone with Tobias. I don't need anyone else exposed to my hysteria when it hits.

We continue down the alley and Tobias knocks as we arrive at the door; Kade opens it almost immediately. His eyes look tired and there are dark circles under them. The rest of him looks neat though, just like the first time I saw him.

"Tobias!" Kade says with wide open eyes. "Tris." He looks down to meet my eyes and he quickly opens the door wider for us. "Come in," he almost whispers, then he slowly closes the door behind us and takes in a deep breath.

I imagine this is strange and uncomfortable territory for him. What can you say to two people who lost everything in a matter of hours?

Tobias leads me past a table full of old books to a chair on the far right of the living room. He then pulls up a chair and sits beside me. He seems unnaturally comfortable here.

"You've been here before," I say. It's not a question. Tobias only nods. He did tell me he had met with Kade on several occasions. I don't know why I assumed it was less casual than meeting inside his home.

"I'm glad you came," Kade says to us as he walks toward us. "I'm willing to help you both in any way I can. And I was meaning to talk to you, Tobias," he adds, taking a seat in front of us. "I know it might be too soon for you after everything that's happened, but I'm afraid we need to take immediate action."

Curious, my eyes square in on Kade. "What are you planning?" I ask him. "How far can the factionless go to help Abnegation?" It's an honest question and I ask it with no offense intended. I do appreciate everything they've done for us, but realistically speaking, they have no control over anything that happens in this city. Without their illegally acquired guns they are powerless and I'm not sure more violence is the answer to our problems.

"Well it's not just the factionless," Kade clarifies. "After the simulation was over, many of the Dauntless chose to follow Jeanine who blamed the Divergent for what happened. But many defected and were overridden with guilt when they realized what they had done. Many of the Divergent among them are speaking out against it, telling everyone what they saw. I even managed to speak to one of them. He helped me set up a meeting with their new leaders since all of the old ones are now Jeanine's lackeys."

"A meeting?" Tobias asks, leaning forward.

"Yeah," Kade says. "They want answers as much as everyone else does. They went to bed and the next thing they knew they were armed and covered in blood. We're hoping that together we can all come up with a plan of action- one that will work."

"How much support do we have? What's the rest of the city saying?" Tobias asks.

"The Candor have kept quiet and Amity chooses to pretend none of this is happening. I spoke to their leader already; she wants no part of a retaliation."

"How can they do that?!" I blurt out. "Isn't Amity supposed to be trying to help us? And aren't the Candor supposed to try and get behind what really happened?"

Kade lets out a breath. "Technically, yes. But they're afraid. Jeanine has released a statement that accuses the Divergent of the attack and eloquently threatens anyone who thinks to go against her regime of eradicating them."

 _Eradicate_. As if we were vermin.

"The remaining Dauntless are willing to do whatever is necessary to regain control of the city. They're stubborn, but as the last remaining councillor, technically you are all that's left of the government and leader of Abnegation. They have to respect that."

"So they don't actually want me there," Tobias says with a scowl. I find it insulting too. How can they want to help us without involving us?

Kade lets out a breath, not wanting to answer the question. It's an answer in itself.

" _I_ want you there as leader of Abnegation," he eventually says.

I suddenly question Kade's motives. There's no doubt what's left of Abnegation will follow Tobias without question. If Kade controls Tobias he controls Abnegation, and it also seems he has the factionless and Dauntless in the palm of his hand. They want to regain control of the city, but who will be in power once Erudite is overthrown? Kade? A Dauntless leader? Tobias?

I wonder, since of all the options, Tobias has the least amount of manpower to fight for what is rightfully his.

I don't mean to speculate, but it comes naturally. Besides, Tobias is vulnerable. He's been thrown into a position he fears he might not be ready for. He _is_ ready, but I see how much he trusts Kade and if the two are to join forces, there's no telling which of Tobias' decisions will have ultimately been _his_.

But I swallow the doubt. At this point I'm not sure we have any other choice but to trust him. Alone, Abnegation is helpless, and I can't be sure it isn't grief or bitterness that makes me question Kade.

Tobias looks at me and I nod. It's time for him to step into the role that was always meant for him.

"Ok," Tobias then agrees. "But my people will have an equal say in whatever plan we come up with. We're the ones who were slaughtered."

"Of course," Kade agrees. I relax a little bit into the chair.

There's an uncomfortable silence for a while before Kade says, "I'm sorry. That wasn't the reason you came here. Is there something I can do for you?"

Tobias makes his request about a place to stay and Kade immediately agrees to take us somewhere.

He walks us through parts of the city that quite honestly I didn't even know existed. There are streets of entire houses, not like the broken down ones you typically see when you pass the outskirts of Abnegation. There are strange signs with people on them. They're dressed in random colours and wearing strange shoes, drinking a dark drink out of a glass bottle. These must have been from before the war.

We're not the only ones in the neighbourhood and I notice both factionless and Abnegation looking at us through their windows. It's funny how we seem to have blended into one.

When we arrive, Kade unlocks the door to a very small but almost fully furnished house. He assures us it has the essentials: a bed, a kitchen, a sofa and running water. Tobias walks deeper into the house and disappears around a corner. I'd follow him but there's something I want to get off my chest.

"Make yourself at home," Kade says with a small smile as Tobias checks out the house, and I take advantage of the privacy.

"What do you want from us?" I ask when I'm sure Tobias is out of earshot.

Kade's eyebrows furrow. "What do you mean, Tris?"

"Don't get me wrong. I appreciate everything you're doing for us and for Abnegation. But if your motives aren't pure, be sure that I never find out."

"You don't trust me, do you?" he asks me softly. "I can see it."

I _don't_ trust him. Part of the reason may be because he appeared out of nowhere claiming to care so much for Tobias. But he knew Marcus was abusive and he knew when Evelyn died Tobias would have become his newest victim. You don't leave the people you care about in situations like those. And you certainly don't show up umpteen years after the fact and pledge your allegiance.

I look up at him completely unthreatened. "Tobias has been through a lot. I don't need anyone taking advantage of him."

Kade only smiles at me. "You're good for him, you know."

I scoff. "I am. But how can you say that? You hardly even know him _or_ me."

He smiles again. "What I mean is, you're good for each other."

I roll my eyes at him. "Same difference, Kade."

I'm about to express my annoyance at his comment, but I fix my face when Tobias walks back out. He seems pleased. "This is perfect," he says. "Thank you, Kade."

"You're welcome," Kade says. "Whatever you need," he adds, looking at me. He might be sincere. He might not. Either way, I admit I'm not in a position to differentiate.

"I'll take Tris to the bedroom now if that's ok with you," Tobias says as he takes my hand. "She needs to rest."

"Of course," Kade answers. "I can see myself out."

"Thanks again," Tobias says sincerely and Kade only nods before heading toward the door.

Then, hand in hand, Tobias leads me into the small room. It's not much different from a room in Abnegation since our houses don't have that much furniture either. There is no dust on the walls and the bed is made, like someone has slept here recently enough.

"You should lie down," Tobias says as he puts me to sit on the bed. Truthfully, I'd rather not if sleeping means being haunted by nightmares. But I don't mind lying beside him, even if in a strange bed.

I remember the days when my biggest problem was living with a man I was forced to marry. And now he is my rock, the only source of strength I have in my broken life. It's ironic really, the fact that I married him so my parents could escape a life of factionlessness. Now _I'm_ theoretically factionless, my parents are dead, and my husband is all that's good in the world.

Tobias takes off his shirt and gets in bed with me, then rocks me to sleep though it's the middle of the day. I lay my head on his chest, thankful that at least there is something good in my life. And for a moment, a very brief moment, there is no death, there is no war, there is no Kade or Dauntless or Jeanine. There is only the sweet aura of Tobias.

* * *

 **A/N: And the journey of Four/Tris continues. I hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter. Share your thoughts! :) I'm oh so very glad to be back.  
Also, please feel free to check out a one-shot I edited for Wrenlovesreading called Remembering Amnesia! And leave a comment if you like it ;) **


	29. Unbreakable Passion Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

 **TOBIAS**

Finally mustering the will to formally address what's left of my faction, I make my way up to the front of the crowd and stand behind the make shift podium set up in the old warehouse where we decided to meet. It's an eerie scene- a crowd gathered in a dusty room with unpainted cement walls and a few large white lamps hanging from the ceiling, and about a hundred pairs of eyes staring at me intently as I walk.

Usually, one would never find any member of Abnegation staring at anything but the floor, but so much has changed since the attack. People are on edge and desperate for answers, and for many, typical Abnegation behaviour has proven difficult to emulate. However, there are those who stand fast by our old ways, and they bow respectfully as I take my place at the front with Tris by my side. She takes my hand just as I'm about to begin. I squeeze it tight.

I clear my throat softly. "I'd like to thank you all for coming out this evening," I begin. "I understand that having an assembly of this magnitude might not be the safest thing for us to do right now, but I wanted us all to meet so everyone could be kept informed. At the end of this meeting we can discuss choosing representatives who will be the ones to meet with me, and will then be responsible for communicating whatever is discussed with those under their care."

It has been a week since the attack and Jeanine has no idea just how many Abnegation are still alive. Although our leaders are dead, and I imagine them having been her primary target, we can't be sure she won't still try to take out what's left of the faction if she were to learn of our existence. So it's better we stay hidden and take precaution until we can establish her agenda.

"Before anything else is said, I'd like to thank you all for entrusting me with leadership of the faction," I continue. "I promise I will not take this responsibility lightly." I see a couple nods and small smiles in front of me. Tris, just like them, has every faith in me, and she squeezes my hand a little. It makes me feel that much stronger knowing she's right there, knowing she loves me enough to be here for me even though she's falling apart inside.

"I understand the factionless have already found housing for many of those who did not wish to stay in the Abnegation sector. They have assured me they will continue to share their resources as long as we need them to, and they are more than happy to accommodate anyone who is without somewhere safe to stay."

An older member at the front raises his hand and asks, "Is it safe to stay in Abnegation at all? Do you think the Dauntless will come back?" When I look in his direction, I spot Emily Taylor and her little sister behind him and I stare at them for a short second. I haven't seen them since before the attack and I haven't yet given them my condolences. I'm sure whatever problem Tris had with Emily is water under the bridge now and I make a mental side note to find her after the meeting has ended.

"I don't think it's safe at all," I eventually answer. "I think we should all stay hidden, and that means blending in with the factionless for the time being. I don't imagine everyone being willing to sacrifice our colour and our customs, so that choice must be an individual one, but keeping a low profile until this is all over would be the wiser thing to do."

Caleb immediately stands to his feet and pointedly asks, "Are you saying we should dissolve our faction?" I raise my eyebrows at him as he refers to Abnegation as _our_ faction, as if he never left it. I feel my throat tighten.

"No," I answer him strongly. "Abnegation will continue to exist. I'm suggesting we lay low for now, but while we do, we will continue to be one faction."

"And what exactly is your plan as it pertains to resolving all of this? How long do we need to stay hidden for?" Caleb interrupts again.

"Tomorrow I'm scheduled to meet with the Dauntless members who were not in agreement with the attack, and when a plan of action is decided, that information will be communicated to everyone through the established channels."

There's slight murmuring amongst the crowd until someone says, "But the Dauntless are the ones who brought this upon us. Why would you be meeting with them?"

Caleb hangs his head this time and sinks into a corner, and I feel slightly victorious inside. Hopefully now he'll drop the self-righteous act considering he knows his chosen faction is to blame, and everyone else is about to know it too.

"Contrary to what Jeanine Matthews would have everyone believe, neither the Divergent nor Dauntless are to be blamed for the attack on Abnegation," I explain to the mass of confused eyes. "They were not in control of themselves. Jeanine somehow developed a simulation software that allowed her to control them and she used them to attack us. Some of them sided with the Erudite after the attack, but there are those who didn't appreciate being used by Jeanine for murder. They have become our allies and are willing to work with us to end this."

I hear a couple gasps in the crowd and almost everyone turns to look at Caleb who nods only slightly, confirming the Erudite are indeed to blame for the attack. He looks as though he wishes the ground would open up and swallow him. I know _I_ do.

No one else interrupts me as I inform them of everything else I have learned so far. I don't mention my father. I'm not sure if I ever will. These innocent people don't deserve to bear the weight of my father's crimes, and even just knowing what he did is a heavy cross to carry. I've only told Tris because we promised not to keep any more secrets from each other. If it weren't for that, I might have carried it to my grave.

The meeting ends shortly after several representatives have been chosen to meet with me on a weekly basis. I suppose it will be something like the council meetings, but in a darker room with less people and heavier discussions.

As the crowd begins to disperse, Tris excuses herself for a second to speak to Susan. She's been worried about her friend a lot these past few days. Even in her grief, Susan has taken up the task of caring for the faction's orphaned children and Tris is afraid no one is taking care of _her_.

I spot Emily again as she heads toward the exit, but I decide to speak to her at another time since Caleb is completely unoccupied and still standing in the same corner he had retreated to. He is suddenly my priority. I want Tris by my side every step of the way but I don't need her brother questioning my every move. I decide to end this now before I have to publicly humiliate him.

While Tris is busy, I walk up to her brother and say, "We need to talk, Caleb."

Caleb is almost as tall as I am, so when he extends his neck as he folds his arms, he stands eye to eye with me.

"About how you somehow managed to coax my little sister into marrying you? Yeah, we do need to talk, _Tobias_." Caleb scowls my name in a weak attempt to seem threatening. It's amazing that even after all that's been said here today, _that_ is what is on his mind.

"You don't know what you're talking about," I say with a disgusted scoff.

"How about you enlighten me then?"

"How about you mind your own business?"

"She's my little sister," he growls. "Beatrice _is_ my business."

I laugh rudely, thankful no one is around to hear. "She's not your _little_ anything." I tilt my head to the side and lick my lips as I remember the way Tris grinded herself against me until I was knee deep inside her, the way she groaned my name as she pleaded for more. Oh, no- Beatrice is most certainly not a child.

"Watch yourself, Eaton," Caleb snaps at me and I'm brought back to the present. I raise my eyebrows, wondering if Caleb somehow read my thoughts. Either way he has no reason to be upset about it. Tris and I have every right to do whatever it is we please to each other in the dark privacy of our bed. I have a marriage certificate that says so.

"You seem very protective of her for someone who upped and left her without notice, choosing to run off to the very faction responsible for destroying ours." As much as I don't like him, I try not to be cruel, since his parents were killed in the attack. But there is no way he gets to walk away from this conversation without understanding that he abandoned her, and whatever claim he has over Tris is void. _I'm_ her family now.

"You think I knew what Erudite was up to when I left Abnegation?" Caleb says defensively. "I didn't. And as soon as I found out I tried to find a way to warn my family. That's the reason I left. But I never got here in time," he says, and his voice dips a little and is tainted with regret. "I don't need to explain myself to you."

I decide maybe there could be some benefit to Caleb having left for Erudite. He was there long enough; he must know _something_. "Well how about you explain how the Erudite managed to mind control an army of Dauntless soldiers?"

Caleb huffs at me again. "Why should I tell you anything?" His eyes open wide and he smirks a little. "You really think you can do this, don't you?"

"Do what?" I ask pointedly.

"Run this faction."

"I _know_ I can," I answer as I take a step closer to him, not completely believing the words myself. "And you'll find that you might be the only person who believes otherwise. All because you don't like the fact that Tris is now my wife."

"Her name is Beatrice," Caleb rolls his eyes at me.

"I can call her whatever I like," I respond, my face hardened.

Caleb shakes his head in disbelief, as if there are grounds for his distaste for me. "I think it's a shame your father died," he says lowly. "He would have been the best person to help take us out of this mess." I resist the urge to grab Caleb by the throat, knowing it was my father who put us in this mess in the first place.

I breathe in and out trying to quell the anger that always simmers inside me when someone mentions how unfortunate it was to have lost my father. It wasn't enough for him to sell out his faction. No- He had to die a martyr and leave his inexperienced son as leader for people like Caleb to criticize.

My wife's brother stands proud in his ignorance. Honestly, I have no respect for him. I've found he complains of too much while offering up absolutely no solutions.

I've tried not to dislike Caleb without really getting to know him first, and it had proven to be difficult from the very beginning. Right off the bat I couldn't get past the fact that he blindsided Tris when he chose to abandon her. And every day he opens his mouth it gets harder. Truthfully, the only reason I haven't considered sending him right back where he came from is because I know Tris is hopeful this might be her second chance of having a real relationship with her brother.

"I think it's better you don't talk about things you know nothing about," I growl at Caleb. "You seem to do that often. And that goes for me and Tris as well. Our marriage, like my father, is none of your business. And if you're gonna try and crawl your way back into this faction then you're gonna have to accept me as your leader because everyone else has."

I'm standing so close to him I can feel his breath as he exhales. By the time Tris has finished talking to Susan and finds us both, the tension is so thick it's almost palpable.

"Is everything ok here?" she asks, startling me a little. I take her hand and kiss her on her forehead. I see out of the corner of my eye the way Caleb forces himself to look in the opposite direction when I do.

"Yes, Love," I say to Tris. "Caleb was just explaining to me how Jeanine got control of the Dauntless."

Caleb stands in shock for a while, his mouth gaping open. I've given him no choice but to tell me now.

"Well?" Tris insists. "What do you know, Caleb?"

He lets out a composed breath, but I can still sense his pitiful irritation.

"During most of our initiation Jeanine had us working with the serums," Caleb begins. "She had the entire faction working on it actually. Eventually, someone developed a long range transmitter; it's just like the one used in the aptitude test, only it can be activated over long distances- miles even. And it's good for more than just one use. She had the Dauntless leaders inject their faction with it after their initiation was over."

"So they're all still armed and ready to be used by Jeanine whenever she feels like it?" Tris asks softly. She leans a little closer into me.

"Yes," Caleb answers.

"How the hell do we turn it off?" I demand.

"Well we can't remove _all_ the individual transmitters, so we'd have to get inside Erudite and destroy the program controlling the simulation."

Tris and I turn to look at each other for a second. This will be far more complicated than we ever thought. Even with the factionless and half of Dauntless on our side, getting inside Erudite is a task on its own. Finding what we need to destroy will be even more difficult. As much as I hate to admit it, Caleb will be essential in whatever plan we come up with. He's the only one who has been inside Erudite and is familiar enough with their headquarters to help us find what we're looking for. So much for sending him back where he came from.

He and Tris talk for a few more minutes before we leave and head to our new house. It's not home but it is tranquil since it's just Tris and me, and it's not a terrible place at all. I find that as long as Tris is with me, it doesn't matter where I am and I feel ok enough to actually sleep. Unfortunately, the same can't be said of her.

Tris has been having nightmares ever since the attack. Some nights she lies awake in my arms, fighting sleep. I wish I could take her pain away. I wish I could fight off her nightmares with my bare hands but I can't. I feel helpless just holding her as they haunt her.

I watch Tris as she walks to our new bedroom. Unlike our Abnegation house, this house is flat and much smaller. It usually doesn't take more than ten seconds to move from the front door to the bedroom door, but Tris walks lifelessly and it takes her almost double that.

I follow her and take a seat beside her on the bed. My arms wrap around her instinctively and she rests her head on my shoulder. I don't speak; instead, I just run my hand along the length of her hair. I find she prefers that much more than me asking her if she's ok when she's obviously not.

We've learned so much about each other in the past few days. Tris tries so hard to be strong for me, especially days like today when I had to address the entire faction, because she knows that's what I need. And I have to be strong for her in the quietness, in the darkness, in our solitude where only I can see her pain. Tragedy has not destroyed us. It has only brought us closer.

"Caleb asked about us earlier," I mention to her.

"I figured," she answers. "You two looked like you were about to strangle each other so I was almost sure you were talking about me." I almost laugh at the idea of Caleb even touching me. "He asked me once too," Tris confesses softly. "I didn't know what to say to him. I didn't want to lie to him but I couldn't bring myself to tell him the truth."

I nod. I don't want him to know either. I don't want anyone questioning our marriage and insulting my feelings for Tris. What we have now is real regardless of how it came to be.

"I wish he'd leave it alone. But maybe I'm being selfish," Tris says. "I mean, he's just looking out for me, right?"

I don't have siblings, so I can't relate to whatever Caleb is feeling. But just like him, I do love Tris, and I suppose if I try hard enough I could maybe bring myself to understand his hostility toward me. And maybe _I'm_ being selfish, but I don't care. I don't want to share Tris with him.

"I suppose that's what he's _trying_ to do," I answer dryly.

Tris sits up a little and faces me. "I really don't want to push him away, Tobias," she says. "I'm so glad he's alive. But I miss my parents so much that sometimes it still feels as if I have no family. Caleb and I are so different and sometimes, as much as I want to talk to him, I don't. I'm scared he'll only make things worse." Tears begin to form in her eyes when she asks, "Does that make me a horrible sister?"

I press a soft kiss to her lips. "No, it doesn't," I say. And maybe I just feel that way because of my own personal feelings toward Caleb. But I really don't think that's the case. Tris just lost the most important people in her life, leaving a hole that I'm not sure even _I_ could fill, our city is upside down and riddled with violence, and all Caleb can seem to be is jealous that there's a man in his sister's life. He has no idea how to comfort her, how to make her stop crying at night. He has no idea how to love her. It's as if he doesn't know her at all.

"And your parents might be gone, but you're never alone, Tris," I add. And leaning into her face I say, "I will be your family now."

I kiss her softly for longer than I have in a while, and my thumbs skim back and forth as they wipe the tears that start flowing from her eyes. I only pull away to remove her shoes and dress, and then we lie next to each other in the bed. Tris presses herself so close to me it's as if we're one body, and I whisper only sweet promises in her ear. I promise her that I will never leave her. I promise her that I will always keep her safe. I promise her that I will always love her. And for the first night in seven, my love sleeps.

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you all so much for your continued support! I was glad to see so many people still following the story. Hope you enjoyed this chapter as well. Anxious to hear your thoughts!**  
 **The biggest Thank You goes out to Bamberlee who continues this journey with me as the greatest Beta that has ever lived :D**


	30. Unbreakable Passion Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

 **TRIS**

There is no fear in his eyes as Tobias walks into Dauntless headquarters. He and I are escorted by a tall, slender woman with short, brown hair. She walked three steps ahead of us the entire way here and only spoke when it was absolutely necessary. Her demeanour toward us could only be described as civil.

Dauntless is like nothing I've ever seen before. It's dark inside and even with small rows of glowing blue light attached to the ceiling, it takes a while for my eyes to adjust; I take care to not stumble over uneven ground. The walls are concrete and cold, and there's a peculiar scent in the air. I see nothing but tunnels as we walk, and I can only assume we're in some underground part of the structure.

It's eerily quiet with nothing but the sound of our echoing footsteps as we all walk into a large room at the end of one of the tunnels. Inside are about ten other Dauntless members, all with their arms folded and lips pressed together. They all look as mysterious as I've always known the Dauntless to be. One girl has a lock of purple hair falling from the right side of her bangs, and another one has the entire right side of her head shaved off.

I make an effort not to stare by diverting my eyes in the opposite direction. That's where I spot Kade and another factionless woman leaning up against one of the pillars. The woman is slim and tall, her dark hair wrapping around itself over and over again in waves and thick curls. She's attractive; she has full lips and a delicate nose, and her eyes are bold but they are kind. She passes me a small smile when I make eye contact with her. She looks nothing like what I thought the leader of the factionless might look like, but she must be their leader since only the leaders were to meet here today.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about this meeting. I can't really imagine Abnegation, Dauntless and the factionless forming an alliance. It's one thing for the leaders to come to an agreement and another thing entirely for the members of the factions involved to respect that decision. Normally such a thing would never be a problem since everyone thought so highly of faction policies and leaders' decisions. But everything is so different now. The leaders are all divided; the factions are all broken.

A young man with dark skin and short hair walks up to us at the same time Kade does. He's not as tall as Tobias, but he stares him down as if he were.

"Zeke, this is Tobias and Tris Eaton," Kade says. "Tobias is the only remaining councillor of the government and now officially leader of the Abnegation."

But the Dauntless leader pays no attention to Kade _or_ Tobias. Instead he eyes me suspiciously. It might be because technically I'm not supposed to be here since I'm not actually a faction leader. But Tobias refused to come if I couldn't. Either way, considering the amount of Dauntless I count in the room, I highly doubt I'm the only unauthorized person who came to this meeting tonight.

"You brought your sister?" Zeke asks Tobias with a smirk.

Tobias stiffens and I feel the heat radiating from his skin when he growls, "She's my _wife_."

Zeke's smirk immediately disappears, morphing into a look of horror, and I hear one of the Dauntless girls snickering somewhere in the background.

"I'm sorry," Zeke says with an embarrassed smile. "My name is Zeke." He extends a hand to Tobias who slowly but firmly takes it.

"You're the leader of Dauntless?" Tobias speculates, seemingly unamused.

"No," answers a woman coming out from the shadows. "That would be me." The woman is tall and lean, wearing a black blazer and a pair of jeans. She has small, dark angular eyes and long, pin straight, black hair. "My name is Tori," she says.

Looking around me, Tobias' insecurities about his age and inexperience seem unfounded; the oldest person in the room is Kade. The Dauntless leader doesn't look that much older than we do, Zeke doesn't look any older than Tobias, and I'd say that some of the others even look younger. I suppose they're all new leaders too since Kade said the old ones chose to follow Jeanine.

I also notice the way they're looking at us. It doesn't take a genius to figure out they don't really want us here. Seems ridiculous considering we're the ones they claim to be defending.

Thankfully, the uncomfortable pleasantries are short-lived and Tori cuts right to the chase. "To be honest, my people don't trust you," she says. She crosses her arms.

"And why exactly is that?" I boldly ask, as if I'm not the shortest person in the room.

"We just think it's rather convenient that you alone survived when all the others didn't," the girl with the shaved head answers. "You both decided to play hooky the very day Jeanine decided to blow up City Hall? Sounds fishy to me. For all we know, you're both working with Jeanine."

"Don't be ridiculous," I snarl at her, disgusted. How dare she accuse us of working with Jeanine, after everything we've been through, everything we've lost. I imagine any one of them boring holes through my mother with bullets. Mind control or not, I still hate them for it.

"No offense," the one with the purple hair says. "But we don't know you. Which means that for now you can't really expect us to trust you."

"And we're supposed to trust _you_?" I snap back. "After you shot up our homes and our families?!"

"Ok. Everybody, relax," Zeke cuts in. "Like it or not, we're gonna be working together from here on out. We're all on the same side here."

"Says them," someone whispers.

"If you have nothing constructive to add, then you know what to do," Tori finishes sharply. The Dauntless lot behind her all cross their arms, but no one utters another word.

Annoyed, Tobias looks at Kade and then back at Zeke and Tori. "I suggest we begin if we're gonna do this."

Tori nods. "First, I'd like to know how many members you have left."

"Why?" Tobias asks before I can.

"Because I'm thinking if there are enough of you left, the Erudite might send a second wave, and we need to be prepared for that. And not just Dauntless and factionless; the Abnegation are gonna have to learn how to use a gun."

Tobias raises his eyebrows and I'm sure I do too. As out of character as our faction members might be at the moment, I'm not sure they're that far off track, which is why I don't think Jeanine will come after us regardless of how many of us there are left. As far as she knows, we pose absolutely no threat to her.

"I can't promise my people will be in agreement with that," Tobias says. "But I'll bring it up. And no, there aren't enough of us left to make Jeanine even consider a second attack."

"In any case," Tori responds, "Those of you willing to learn to defend yourselves are free to come for training at our compound. We begin as early as tomorrow. We don't have time to waste."

Tobias nods, but then he says, "I think we have bigger problems though. You're worried about us when we should be worried about _you._ If the Dauntless can't protect themselves against Jeanine's mind control, then our defences will be futile."

Insulted, the purple haired girl seethes at us, "That's a bit of a reach."

"Is it?" Tobias answers calmly. "How can you guarantee that tomorrow morning you all won't turn into mindless drones who start shooting at us because Jeanine woke up and felt like it?"

Zeke unconsciously rubs a small bump on the right side of his neck. I vaguely remember Uriah having a similar mark on the same spot. That must be where the transmitter is.

"What are you suggesting?" Zeke asks.

"I think we should get those things out of you," Tobias says, nudging his chin at Zeke's neck. "Because I can't promise I won't shoot you if you come after me or my wife." My husband's voice is stern and I'd be lying if I denied being a little bit turned on by it.

"Worst case scenario, your people need to protect themselves against _us_ ," Zeke answers. "But we'll train you how to wound and not kill, for our own sakes."

"Abnegation with guns. That should be a sight to behold," the girl with the shaved head says from the corner.

"We also need to start working on a long term plan," Tobias says, ignoring her.

"We don't take orders from stiffs."

"Lynn!" Tori yells. "Enough!" Lynn scowls at Tori when she glares at her. "If you don't like what's happening here you're free to leave."

"We don't need them, Tori!" she yells. "Jeanine has to pay for what she did to us and all they're gonna do is get in our way!"

My mouth opens when I realize what's happening here, but I'm lost for words. They're not going after Erudite to defend the Abnegation. They're doing it because they were used and now their pride has been wounded. This isn't about us at all. It's no wonder they don't want us here. I honestly think I hate them a little bit more now.

"Everything we do from this day forward, we do as a unit," Tori answers strongly. "Everything has to be run by all the leaders- factionless, Dauntless and Abnegation. We're on our own now that the rest of the city has sided with the Erudite. And if we act independently of each other, we're less likely to succeed."

"I highly doubt that," Lynn snaps back.

"All brawn and no brains," I say a little louder than I had intended. Lynn shoots me a vicious glare and I swear she's about to attack me, but the purple haired girl grabs her by the arm.

Kade, who hasn't had much to say since the commencement of our little meeting, finally chips in with, "I don't believe _everything_ needs to be run by _everyone_. I've been running the factionless just fine without anyone's help. I don't see why any part of our functionality needs to be changed or authorized by any of you."

Tobias and I exchange a glance and then stare at Kade. At no point did he ever mention that _he_ was leader of the factionless. He's just always made it seem like he was very well connected. Why would he hide something like that from us?

"I'm not familiar with how you do things, Kade. And I imagine it's been working quite well for you considering how your people are _thriving_ ," Tori says sarcastically. "But things have to be different from now on. It's not just you and yours anymore. If you screw something up, we all suffer the consequences."

Kade looks at Tori for a while before he hesitantly agrees. "Fine. But I do suggest for our next meeting only leaders and their second in command attend. Which means you, Zeke, Tobias, Tris, Lola and myself. We don't need any more outbursts."

Lynn scoffs in the background just as Tobias stares at me. Kade just referred to me as his second in command, and something tells me that Tobias isn't going to be too happy about that. But he nods and says nothing.

* * *

The meeting finishes soon after, although, in my opinion, we hardly accomplished anything at all. We did, however, make some important discoveries: The Dauntless leaders are young and hot-headed, they are not in it for us hence the reason they don't want us interfering, and Kade is leader of the factionless. I'm not sure which one of those things is most unsettling. Probably the bit with Kade, since I'm at least certain where the Dauntless stand, and I'd rather be stabbed in the eye than in the back. And with the way Tobias trusts him, we're the ones putting the knife in his hands.

I step a little bit closer to my husband as we walk down the dark street and think about how to begin the conversation. There's no moon out and only a few stars in the sky, so maybe he won't see the weight on my face when I bring it up.

"I suppose that was just a meet and greet," I begin, saying softly to Tobias.

He smiles. "I guess that's one way to put it. Kade just wanted everyone out in the open so we could all get to know who we're gonna be working with until this is all over."

I try to hold back a scoff and I fail. Kade is the last person who should be pushing for transparency.

"You still don't trust him," Tobias says with a sigh. He wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me closer to him. We suddenly start to walk a little slower.

"I don't. And I also don't like how much power he has over us," I answer softly. "Right now he has every member of Abnegation under his thumb."

"By giving them a roof over their heads and food on their plates. And right now we're not in a position to refuse."

But that's exactly my point. Our livelihood is Kade's bargaining chip. He could manipulate our people however he wanted, and out of fear they wouldn't cross him. The Abnegation are not like the factionless. We are a simple people, but we wouldn't do too well on the streets.

"I think the minute we can, we should start working on being self-sufficient again," I suggest.

"And we will, Tris," Tobias answers. "But we're not ready yet. And so far Kade has done nothing but use his power to help us."

"A power he chose to hide from us, Tobias. Why would he do that?"

I stop walking when we arrive in front our small refuge. It's just another reminder of how dependent we actually are on Maddox Kade. Nudging me forward, Tobias leads me up the stairs and through the door. As he closes it behind me, he takes my hand and pulls me to him until our bodies are flush.

"I don't know why he didn't tell us who he was," Tobias finally answers.

"Then how do you know we can trust him?" I question. Tobias' face falls and his eyes become deep and dark. I press my hand against his cheek as I look up at him. "What is it?" I ask him gently.

"It might sound stupid but… My mother trusted him, and I trusted her," he answers. "I don't think he means to harm us, Tris. I really don't."

I let out a breath as Tobias leans down and presses his forehead against mine. "I really hope you're right, Tobias," I say.

"I do too," he whispers.

Just then, Tobias picks me up by the waist and I wrap my legs around him. He presses my back against the door and whispers, "There's something else."

"What?"

"I want you to respectfully decline the position as my second in command."

I smile at my husband. "I will do no such thing."

"Tris-," he begins with evident frustration.

"I can do this, Tobias," I respond strongly.

"I never said you couldn't. But being a leader puts a target on your back if Jeanine should ever find out."

"I am your wife. I am also a Divergent, Abnegation woman. I already have a target on my back."

Tobias presses me harder into the door and cups my face with his palm. "I just want you to be safe, Tris," he says thickly.

"I know that," I say. "But I can't just stay in bed every day waiting for you to come home to me, Tobias. That's not who I am."

"I know," he says, skimming my cheek gently with his thumb. "What I don't know is what I'd do if something ever happened to you." Tobias eyes are dark and thoughtful, filled with fear and admiration at the same time. I recognize it only because it's exactly what I feel when I think about him leading Abnegation into war. "Promise me you'll stay safe," he insists.

"I promise," I dare to say without question, as if we're not about to step into dangerous territory, as if I've ever been able to stay out of trouble, as if the thought of my parents doesn't make me want to throw myself through the highest window I can find.

His lips are on mine in a second; his kiss neither rough nor soft, but it is deep. I feel every ounce of his desire for me as he runs his fingers through my hair and clasps at the strands. It's been a while since we've kissed like this, and even longer since we've had our fill of each other. But as much as I want him, I'm not ready yet; my mind is still haunted and my heart is still broken. I'm not in a place to give him all of me. So I pull away slowly, and my knowing husband carries me to bed and kisses me to sleep.

* * *

 **A/N: And we welcome the Dauntless into our story ;) Thanks for the reviews on the last chapter! They were all so amazing. And thanks to the wonderful Bamberlee for getting this chapter back to me so quickly! ;)**


	31. Unbreakable Passion Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

 **TRIS**

Only a handful of us return to Dauntless for training. The idea of learning the art of violence didn't sit well with most of our members. It amazes me how even after all that's happened, many have a hard time letting go of our old ways, even though they are what made us the perfect targets in the first place.

Aside from Tobias, there were a few other men, one of them being Caleb. I wanted to laugh when I saw him, but considering how few of us there are, discouraging him might not be the best of things to do.

My brother is almost as tall as Tobias, but he's far more awkward. His arms are skinny and flaccid looking, swinging back and forth at his sides like dead weight when he walks. I've tried picturing him delivering a punch but the image is never pretty. He doesn't look like a fighter; I suppose his bravery is what should count most.

Tobias, on the other hand, looked strong and graceful as he walked off with the other men. There was certainty and determination in his step, and that ever present ease he has when he is in command.

I smile when I remember the way he looked back at me when we parted ways; the men would train separately from us. He was worried but proud at the same time and I could see it in his eyes.

"Why are you smiling?" Susan whispers carefully. No one told us to be quiet, but it just feels wrong to speak. The Dauntless girls are hardly talking to each other and not at all to us; they don't look sociable in the slightest. Besides the echoing of our footsteps in the dark corridor, one could only hear breathing.

I look at Susan and only smile wider. "I'll tell you later."

She and I have become so much closer in the past week. I've always known Susan to be selfless, but after the attack I came to see just how deep that selflessness runs. While I was too depressed to even get out of bed, she was out helping others. She's hurting, but she's found productive ways to deal with her pain. And she's a lot more open now and not so afraid to say what's on her mind- to me at least. I'm really glad she's here, even though I only think she came because Caleb did.

Susan nods and we both turn our eyes forward again, walking side by side and in silence.

I imagine that only a few weeks ago, these halls were packed with Dauntless; maybe children were running up and down them. I suddenly start to wonder where the other Dauntless are- the ones who chose to follow Jeanine. It's strange that they'd abandon their home, but I suppose Erudite has made far more comfortable accommodations for their new foot soldiers.

Just then, a tall, slender brunette creeps up behind us- Emily Taylor. "At least you guys seem to be in a good mood. I'm a little terrified to be honest," she whispers.

My smile plummets. I hate that _she's_ here and I hate that she felt she could speak to me, especially after the sly grin she gave me when I caught her speaking to Tobias. He told me he'd meant to give her condolences; Tobias had great respect for Councillor Taylor. I understand that, but Emily's grin was uncalled for. It's almost like she was rubbing it in my face.

I'm being petty, and the worst part is I know I'm being petty. Tobias loves me and I needn't worry about pretty little Emily. And more importantly, there are far more serious things that I need to be worrying about, like war. Yet here I am, jealous of a girl who blushed one too many times when she looked at my husband God knows how long ago. Why is she even here, anyway? She's never seemed like the type to take up arms.

One reason comes to mind- Tobias, and it makes me sulk a little with guilt. It's possible Emily just wants to avenge her parents, acquire skills that would allow her to better protect herself and her little sister. Yet here I am, speculating that she's only using the opportunity to see more of what's mine. It makes me feel ugly inside.

I set aside my paranoia when the Dauntless girls slow their pace and open up a huge metal door at the end of one of the tunnels. Inside it is a large, poorly lit room with a musky scent. There's a corner filled with weapons, and on the wall beside them are hanging several types of targets. On the left wall is a green chalkboard with names scribbled on it. There's also a large, square mat in the middle of the room.

"Welcome to the training room," Shauna, the one with the strip of purple hair, says to us and she leads us inside. "Usually Dauntless train for at least six weeks during initiation in order to be up to par, but we have nowhere near that much time. We'll train for as long as we can during the day, and as many days as we can. You're gonna have to give it everything you've got because there's no telling when you might need to defend yourselves." I scoff at the irony. With that chip planted in their necks, there's never been a more prominent truth.

Susan hides it well, but I see the fear in her eyes. "What does training entail?" she asks.

"Well usually, there are three stages of training. In the physical part you learn how to fight and use a variety of weapons, and the second and third stages are about knowing your fears and facing them. We'll do things a bit differently here. For the sake of time, stages two and three will be combined. I can't imagine you guys having done anything like that before, so we'll explain in more detail when the time comes."

Shauna seems to be a lot calmer than she was yesterday. I suppose that's because we were all on edge meeting each other for the first time. At this point, it's safe to say she's the one I dislike the least. I decide to stay closer to her since I can't trust that Lynn, the one with the shaved head, won't come after me the first chance she gets.

"And… why would we need to know our fears when fighting the Erudite? Why not take that part out completely?" Emily asks.

Suddenly, Lynn pulls out her gun and presses it hard against Emily's forehead. "How brave are you, Stiff?" she taunts. Emily begins to tremble in front of her and it looks like she'll collapse because her knees begin to fold. With her mouth open, Susan takes a small convenient step in my direction- away from Emily. I don't blame her; I think I feel my own palms sweating. I want to scream for Lynn to stop but I can't seem to. Watching her point that gun at Emily takes me back to that day and it paralyzes me.

"Lynn!" Shauna yells viciously.

Lynn lowers the gun and calmly says, "Every stage is important and prepares you in a different way, and preparation is the only way to eradicate cowardice. And cowardice," she pauses as she eyes Emily, "is being unable to act when you're afraid."

Maddened, Shauna twists her face in a knot and snarls, "That was uncalled for, Lynn." Then she turns to us and adds, "But she's right. After you've learned what your greatest fears are and you've faced them, everything else will seem like a walk in the park." But I can't imagine anything being more terrorizing than the present.

"In other words," Lynn growls, leaning too closely into Emily's face, "You're less likely to shit yourself when someone has a gun in your face."

With tears in her eyes, Emily swallows and nods slowly, then Lynn walks off to stand beside the third Dauntless girl. She's tall and slender, with brown skin and black hair.

"What is wrong with you?!" the girl chastises softly. "You don't point a loaded gun in someone's face! Especially after-"

"Chill, Christina" Lynn interrupts with a laugh. "The safety's on."

I always knew the Dauntless were crazy, but Lynn seems to be functioning on a plane of her own. She flirts with danger and doesn't seem to care at all about the consequences. It looks to me like she's always gotten away with doing whatever she wanted.

She walks along as if she didn't just unnecessarily scare the daylights out of another human being, trailing behind Shauna as she takes us over to a different part of the room. I hear the other girl, Christina, whisper something to Emily while they walk, but I don't make out what it is.

In this corner of the training room there are several long bags hanging from chains connected to the ceiling. They're red and thick and appear to be covered in leather. Shauna hits one of the bags and that's when I realize what they're for.

"The first thing you guys are gonna learn is how to fight. We will go over technique today, and tomorrow you will start to fight each other and us. If there's time tomorrow, we'll also work on using the weapons."

"But before we do anything else," Christina cuts in, "You gals are gonna have to take off those hideous dresses." She tosses over a plastic bag filled with what I imagine are clothes fit for training.

"Where can we change?" Emily asks. You'd think she'd have learned to keep her mouth shut by now.

"We're all girls here," Lynn teases.

We all stiffen with discomfort. No one has seen my body but Tobias. Not even my own mother saw me after I passed a certain age. It's no surprise the Dauntless are far less conservative than we are, but it is a bit insensitive they'd expect us to get changed right in front of one another. Then again, one of them did just hold a gun to Emily's forehead. At this point it would be entirely naïve to expect any kind of courtesy from either of them.

I open the bag and pull out something I think will fit. Having been the only one of the three of us who's ever been seen naked by another human being, I decide to change first. I pull my dress over my head quickly and I wiggle into the pair of pants I pulled out of the bag. As I'm pulling on my top, Susan and Emily both decide to take off their dresses.

I may not be the bravest one here, but I _am_ brave. And now that it's all become so real, I do feel fear but I also feel a bit of excitement. I'm about to finally get a taste of the life I would have chosen were it not for Caleb. I'm about to see whether or not I could have survived here.

When we're all changed, the three Dauntless girls look a bit shocked as they all stare at us. I guess they never really expected three Abnegation girls to just take off their clothes right in front of them. I stare back, realizing how well they fill out their clothes in comparison to me, even Susan and Emily. My body is straight like a boy's. I'm glad no one else is here to see.

"I'm taking a liking to you girls," Shauna says with a small smile. She takes the dresses from us and puts them in the plastic bag which she then tosses aside. I suppose it might be symbolic in some way. We are no longer just Abnegation.

"Like I said," she continues, "We're gonna start with sparring for today. Basic punches, kicks, how to block. First we'll demonstrate and then you'll repeat the movements over and over again until you've got them right, that way your body is prepared and will act on impulse when threatened."

"I recommend you pay attention," Christina adds. "Learn quickly, or you'll get badly hurt during a real fight."

"You would know," Lynn taunts and she pushes her hard in the shoulder. Christina only laughs and pushes her back. I wonder what it's like to be that carefree in the middle of chaos- feeling no fear, no sadness, no anger, no regret. I'm not sure I'd be able to live with myself if I knew I was responsible for the deaths of innocent people.

"Since it's only three of you, we're gonna be working with you guys one on one. That should speed things up a little," Shauna says. "Lynn you're with Emily. Christina, you're with Susan. Tris, you're with me."

I nod, but it feels strange having someone other than Tobias call me Tris. I'm stuck between liking it and wanting it to be something special just between him and me.

We begin training with Lynn naming a few different punches and demonstrating each one as she does. She punches against the air and then against the punching bag. We all try to mimic her and I'm certain we look ridiculous, but we follow suit anyway until all around me is the sound of skin hitting tough fabric.

The bag is harder than I ever expected it to be and it stings my hands, turning my skin red, and it barely moves no matter how hard I hit it, but I push through it. I catch on as we practice, and with Shauna's direction, by the end of the first half hour, I look nowhere as physically challenged as Emily does. Even Susan's doing well. I wonder for a moment how Tobias is doing, though I know he's most likely having much better luck than I am.

Lynn then demonstrates the kicks, and even the most basic ones require more balance than I think I could ever have. I try anyway, and it takes more than a few tries for me to figure out how to move my body to make it look like hers when she kicks. The kicks are definitely more difficult than the punches, but the fact that I can barely move might have something to do with that; my pants fit like they were made for a ten year old child. To be honest, the dresses would have been easier to train in.

Shauna stares at me as I try a punch and kick combo. Her eyes are attentive, following my body from head to toe. "You're really small," she says, as if I didn't know this. "You might be better off using your knees and elbows. They're harder _and_ you can put more power behind them. I didn't think about it before but I think we'll need to put in some core strength training with you guys."

I catch her staring at my arms. She's right though. I practically have no muscle.

"Don't feel bad," Shauna says to me. "You're doing better than I thought you'd do. Although, you guys are definitely going to need more practice with fighting."

I don't respond. I'm not sure if that's a compliment or an insult.

Most of the morning has passed before we actually engage in some sort of sparring. I've got most of the movements down, I'm just not sure I'd be able to apply them properly or put enough force behind them to make them effective. Still, I put my all into it as I'm fighting Shauna, knowing I have no chance of beating her in a fight. Not yet anyway.

I study her as I circle her, looking for any weak spot I can find. Still, she dodges all my punches and blocks all my kicks. It doesn't faze me though. Not even when she kicks me down. I push myself right back up and I get back in the fight; my bun comes undone and I don't bother to fix it.

It's like I'm in a different world. I'm deafened by the sound of my heartbeat, and the adrenaline rush is making me woozy. I like it; it makes me forget the grief and chaos for a moment. With the physical pain distracting me from my emotions, being punched and kicked in the gut is actually a relief.

"Keep your arms up, Tris," Shauna says to me at the same time Lynn yells, "Stop wasting my time, Stiff! If it were up to me I wouldn't be training you at all."

I freeze.

Emily isn't my most favourite person in the world, but I'm not particularly glad that Lynn thinks it's ok to speak to her like that. Susan doesn't say anything, but I notice the way she glares at Lynn. I'm sure she hates it just as much as I do.

"Ok, I think it's time for a break," Shauna says, rolling her eyes. "We'll take an hour for lunch and then we'll meet up back here and do some strength training and cardio. You guys are breathing like you just ran twenty miles."

Shauna tosses me a small towel and I take several deep breaths as I wipe my face with it. I do need to stop, but my arms are so sore that if I put them down, I might not be able to pick them back up. My legs ache so much as I walk over to sit on the mat that all I can do is laugh.

Shauna raises an eyebrow at me. "You like this, don't you?" she asks. "I can see it."

I nod. "Yeah. I do."

Perhaps I shouldn't be too quick to want to dive into all this. I lose myself too easily in it, forgetting how I got here in the first place. It makes me think of a different life where I had chosen Dauntless instead of Abnegation. But really it's only a nice thought until I realize that in that life, Tobias isn't mine. In that life, I would never have gotten those last few precious moments with my parents that I did. Besides, by the looks of things, I wouldn't have fit in here with these cold and cruel people. At least now I know.

"You shouldn't feel guilty about it," Shauna says. "Technically, you're not just Abnegation anymore, Tris. You can't be. Not if you want to survive. Embrace your inner Dauntless." She passes a small smile at me.

Behind us, Lynn scoffs at this. I ignore her.

"Did you guys train the Dauntless initiates?" I ask Shauna. "You're all really good at this." All but Lynn, anyway.

"Well, Christina and Lynn actually just finished initiation. But yeah, I did help train them."

When we walk to the middle of the room, everyone but Lynn sits in a circle on the sparring mat. She stands to the side with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Is your initiation this difficult?" Susan asks. "I feel like my arms might fall off."

"Actually, when we train in Dauntless, we all train together, boys and girls alike. So it's much harder," Shauna answers. "Some of the boys have the natural advantage of being bigger or stronger."

"How does that work?" Emily chips in, tossing herself on the mat entirely.

"Why would it not? We can do everything _they_ can do," Christina says.

"Lynn actually kicked Uriah's ass when they fought," Shauna laughs.

I smile at the mention of Uriah. I haven't seen or heard from him since that day when he took us to safety. I can only hope that I'll see him again soon.

"And they actually hit you?" Emily gasps.

Shauna laughs. "A couple of guys wiped the floor with me during my initiation. I had a permanent black eye. I probably would have been kicked out if it weren't for Zeke." A sweet smile finds her face.

"I guess this is all new for you guys, huh?" Christina asks. "I heard in Abnegation girls aren't even allowed to talk to guys unless they're married or something like that."

Susan nods and smiles. "Something like that, yeah."

It's an unlikely and beautiful moment between us and our trainers. For the first time since we've met them, the Dauntless girls seem like normal and approachable human beings- Christina and Shauna, at least. Of course the moment is brutally interrupted when Lynn yells, "Are you guys being serious right now?! Are we gonna hold hands next and tell each other our secrets and dreams?!"

"Lynn-" Christina tries.

"Whatever," Lynn says, and she storms out of the training room. No one follows her out. I'd say she was upset for no reason whatsoever had I not realized she'd rather we all not get along.

"I take it she doesn't like us very much," I say softly.

"Just give her some time," Shauna sighs. "My little sister can be… difficult."

I almost gasp out loud. I would never have imagined that they were sisters. Apart from the fact that they look nothing alike, Shauna has tried her best to be a mature adult while Lynn would prefer to dangle guns in our faces and insult us.

"Hopefully she's in a better mood tomorrow," Susan says.

"I doubt that," Christina mutters.

"Try not to take it too personally," Shauna adds. "Lynn doesn't trust outsiders. And she's in a bad place right now because a lot of the people we thought we _could_ trust have turned on us."

"Their mother along with one of her best friends chose to follow Jeanine," Christina explains.

"And?" I blurt out strongly before I can stop myself. " _My_ mother is dead. She was killed by Dauntless soldiers yet here I am. And how ironic is it that while she's treating us like all of this is our fault, I have to be constantly reminding myself that it's not fair for me to hate any of you because what happened was not your fault either."

Christina stares at me wide-eyed. "Not everyone feels the way Lynn does, Tris."

"Maybe not, but I know you don't want us here. I know you're more concerned about getting revenge on Jeanine than avenging the faction she made you murder. Because you don't remember, you don't care."

"That's not true," Shauna interjects.

"The point is," I say emphatically, "All things considered, being here is hard enough for us already without Lynn treating us like garbage."

The room is filled with the most awkward silence after I've spoken, but I'd never take the words back. I've only known her for two days but I think Lynn is juvenile and selfish. Has she ever stopped to wonder how many of my people she killed before waking up from the simulation? Does she lose any sleep over us at all?

Uncomfortable, Susan stands. "If it's ok with you guys, I'd like to head out for lunch now."

Looking as though she wants to say something, Shauna only nods.

Before Susan walks away, leaving me there in awkward silence and worse- with Emily, I stand too and walk with her.

"Tris," Shauna yells behind me. I stop and turn around. " _I_ want you here," she says. Expressionless, I look at her for a while and then turn to leave like I could not be bothered. But strangely enough, I believe her.


	32. Unbreakable Passion Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

 **TOBIAS**

It's hard to say goodbye to Tris because I know today will be a difficult day; the training will be brutal. And as much as I know she can do it, I'd still rather she be at home or at the very least by my side. It's not that it's safer there; it's not safe anywhere, and learning to defend herself is definitely the smarter thing to do. I just hate the idea of anyone putting their hands on her, hitting her, kicking her, leaving marks on her beautiful skin. Especially considering how vulnerable she is right now.

I look back one more time and smile at her as we walk off; we're to train separately. Tris smiles back looking strong and ready, unlike any other Abnegation girl I've ever met. No one would ever be able to tell how much pain she's in just by looking at her. She's such a rare prize, and she's mine.

It pains me to turn my eyes away but I must, and along with the few other Abnegation men who came today, I continue to walk behind Zeke and four other Dauntless men as they lead us through a dark corridor. It eventually opens up to a large, open space; it's almost like a cavern. The walls are made of rock and are as high as the ceiling. There are no lights, but the roof is made of glass and the sunlight beams through it. It's surprisingly cool for a room with no windows.

There are several large weights rested against the wall to the left, and two life-sized rubber half-men casually lie in the corner. On the wall to the right there are about ten large guns facing upward. The entire width of the wall is lined with wood- painted with small and large dots of various colours. I suppose it's meant for target practise since there are about a million bullet holes in it.

"The girls will be using the training room today, so this beautiful space is gonna be ours," Zeke says as he unrolls a mat in the centre of the room. "A couple of the Pit fighters used to train here. They say we're welcome to use the space."

"I still don't see why they need the whole room," a tall, blond young man says before I get a chance to ask what Pit fighters are. He gently sets a bag full of bottled water in the corner.

"Shauna insisted she needed the girls to be as comfortable as possible, and apparently looking at strapped young men like Tobias here while they train would not make that possible." Zeke walks back over to me and slaps me hard on the shoulder. I've realized the Dauntless have strange gestures that are violent but meant to be friendly.

"And well, we all know Shauna has the balls in you guys' relationship so-"

"Shut up, Will," Zeke answers him sharply but with a smirk. "This pretty boy over here is Will by the way," he says to us, nodding in Will's direction. "That's Gendry, Rhys, and the short one is Jax."

As Zeke points to the different Dauntless men in the room, I really look at them for the first time. They're muscular, and Gendry and Rhys are covered in tattoos and piercings. They walk with strength yet with an ease in their step; we're in the middle of a crisis yet Zeke and Will look like they don't have a care in the world. They're a huge contrast to those of us dressed in grey. We really do look stiff beside them, stiff and scrawny. Although, I'm definitely not the skinniest one here; that would be Caleb.

Introducing everyone, I point them out and call them by name. "This is Arthur, Theodore, James, Lennox, Caleb and myself- Tobias."

Most of the men who came to train today have been Abnegation all their lives, and I'm sure everything about this new environment is downright confusing to them. It's confusing to _me_. Strangely though, I like it. It makes me wonder what kind of person I would have ended up being had I chosen Dauntless. Maybe it would have changed me for the worst, maybe I would have risen to the occasion. Maybe it would have chewed me up and spat me out.

"I'm the one overseeing your training," Rhys begins. "To be honest, I was expecting more of you. I don't know why." I was hopeful too, but I wasn't surprised when only five men apart from myself showed up. "Before we start we need to warm up a little, run some laps," he continues. "It'll be just physical today. You boys can play with the guns tomorrow." I can tell Rhys is a very straightforward person. No time is wasted; no speeches or welcome given, only necessary and precise explanations. "And for god's sake take off those damn robes."

When I slide out of my robe, the others follow suit. I open the top buttons of my shirt but I keep it on and there isn't a man here who could take it off me. Tris is the only one who has ever seen my scars and she'll be the only one who ever does.

Fortunately, no one harasses us about taking the shirts off.

We begin with a stretch and a jog before we pick up the pace, and that's when I realize how large this open space really is. It takes more than a minute to make a full lap, and that's at running speed. After only the fifth lap, one of my men, Lennox, slows pace and falls behind. It's understandable; we don't do much running in Abnegation- not even as children. Still, the Dauntless don't tolerate it, and they taunt him to keep running. The way they scream at him forces every bit of tiredness out of my body. I think I start to run even faster.

"Come on, Stiffs!" Jax yells at us. "You're gonna have to do better than that!"

We push and push, until I swear we've run for what has felt like hours and I feel like I'm about to collapse. I'm starting to think these laps weren't just a warm up. They wanted to see how far they could push us. When I realize this, I push harder. I think of why I'm doing this in the first place. I need to be strong for Tris and for Abnegation. I need to be able to protect them if they're ever threatened again. I need to be a leader to my men. If I stop, they'll stop. If I run, they'll run.

Of course, not to my surprise, Caleb is the first to give up. Breathless and drenched in sweat, he leans up on the wall. He clutches at it as he tries to catch his breath. I expect the Dauntless to peel him off it and tell him to fall back in line, but they don't. Rhys just folds his arms and stares at him for a few seconds.

"Ok," he eventually says. "Everybody grab some water and then we'll pair up for the sparring."

I'm both relieved and horrified at the same time. I needed to stop running, but not so I could spar. I walk over to the collection of water bottles and secretly pray for the longest water break known to man.

Without invitation, Caleb approaches me and parks himself to my right. Avidly, he raises a bottle to his mouth and drinks way too much water. I don't tell him to stop.

"You shouldn't have allowed her to come," he says without looking at me.

"What?"

"This is no place for Beatrice, Tobias. It's dangerous. She could get hurt."

I'm a bit thrown off by the word _allow_ , as if my wife needs anyone's permission to do whatever it is she wants to do. She certainly doesn't need her pathetically exhausted brother questioning her abilities; he looks like he has no more to give and all we've done is 'warm up'. I would have loved to watch him try and stop her from coming here. I certainly didn't. I know her well enough to know it would have been in vain. Tris is not the useless kind of beautiful you hang up on a shelf and admire. She's the powerful kind of beautiful that takes control and transforms the world in front of her.

"Don't you think she's less likely to get hurt if she knows how to defend herself? I thought you were supposed to be smart," I answer brashly. "I also thought I made it clear that whatever happens between Tris and me does not concern you."

"She's still grieving," Caleb snaps back. "She needs to be alone, not surrounded by the people who killed our parents."

I take a slow and menacing step toward Caleb. "Don't tell me how to take care of my wife. Don't make me have to tell you again."

Caleb stares me down and growls at me as if he could do anything about it.

I mock him. "What? You're gonna hit me? You're barely standing on your own two feet and the morning's just started. I'm surprised you could even lift that bottle of water to your face." I want to grab him by the throat and throw him across the room, but I ball my hands into tight fists and press them into my thighs to keep them from escaping from me.

Deep down I know I want to fight him. I would love to have an excuse to break his jaw. At least then he'd shut up. Of course, Tris might never forgive me for it.

"Caleb!" someone yells.

He spins around to see Will waiting for him. He's standing beside one of the rubber men he's just set upright. Then, glaring at me one more time, Caleb puts the bottle of water on the floor and walks over to Will. I only shake my head at him.

"What's his beef with you?" Zeke startles me from behind.

"That's Tris' brother," I answer. "Unfortunately."

"Oh." He only mouths the word. Curious, Zeke folds his arms beside me and he watches as Will demonstrates some punches to Caleb. Caleb tries to imitate him, but his movements are awkward and clumsy. When he starts practicing on the rubber man, who actually appears to be winning the fight, he looks like a royal idiot.

Turning to look at me, Zeke has a humourful look on his face. "She's got a lot more fight in her than he does. That's for sure."

Biting my lip between my teeth, I push the laugh back down my throat.

I begin training with Zeke soon after, and I become so absorbed in it that I don't notice the others around me. I practice my form over and over again until it's perfect, and I put more and more power behind each punch. My legs are tired from the run, but there's still some force behind them with every kick I deliver.

Fighting was something I once feared. I used to think I'd enjoy it and it'd turn me into my father. But as I drive my fists into the rubber man, it's not anger or even the frustration I've been feeling that fuels me. More empowering than anything else is my determination to be stronger, and I know that's because of who I'm fighting for.

Not too long ago I had a gun in my hand, my finger tight on the trigger. I would have killed Uriah without thought if he had tried to hurt Tris. And with the possibility of war hanging over our heads, there's nothing I wouldn't do to protect her. She is the only one who matters to me, and she is all that's keeping me grounded. With the full weight of my father's sins on my shoulders, the only time I feel like I can really breathe is when she's near me.

I get lost in the fight with the rubber man, but in the corner of my mind I can hear Zeke taunting me, or cheering me on- I'm not sure which. "Is that all you've got, Stiff?" he yells, and I kick harder until the dummy flies across the room. This seems to excite the Dauntless and they break away from their own training sessions to run over to Zeke and me, laughing and cheering. I look around to find my men staring at me wide-eyed and the Dauntless driving their fists in the air and hooting as if they'd just accomplished something.

"Way to go, Stiff," Jax says with a kind laugh. I'm breathing so heavy I can't even smile back.

Zeke passes me a bottle of water and says, "I think you deserve a break." I'm about to go pick up the rubber man when he says, "Leave it. Sit with me."

We sit on some rocks in the corner and the others return to whatever it is they were doing. In the distance I can hear Will shouting at Caleb. Zeke stares at me with obvious curiosity for a while before he speaks. "Where'd you learn how to fight?"

"I didn't," I answer.

"Could've fooled me," he says. "Look around you, man. The others are struggling. Your brother-in-law over there, I don't even know what the hell he's doing. But you… it's like you were made for Dauntless."

I do look around. Most of the Abnegation men look tired and their form is starting to suffer for it. I'm no more physically prepared for this than they are. The only thing that separates them from me is Marcus- living with him and having a piece of him live inside me.

With me being half Dauntless, it makes sense that my father was too. That would explain the violence there was in him, the cruelty, the ill feeling toward anything that lived or breathed. Although, these Dauntless men seem to be nowhere near Marcus' level of cruelty. That might be because my father never had an outlet the way they do. He was trapped inside his own mind and body for so many years. And when he couldn't keep it bottled up inside him anymore, he'd come home and unleash it all on me.

For a minute it makes me wonder if I'm being fair to everyone else. Being Dauntless isn't hard for me; being Dauntless is a part of me. I've been bruised and battered enough for one lifetime, but the others know nothing of that kind of life. I've literally thrown them into the flames. And if the men are having this much trouble, I can't even begin to imagine what Tris and Susan and Emily must be going through. Could it be I'm asking too much of them?

"Where'd you go just now?" Zeke asks me, bringing me back to the present.

"Nowhere," I say flatly.

He nods a little and then says, "Come over here."

Zeke takes me over to where the guns are standing against the wall. He picks one up, places a piece of metal over the mouth of it, then passes it to me. It's far larger and heavier than the gun Kade gave me, so it takes some getting used to.

I aim at the wall and say, "I thought we weren't shooting until tomorrow." I aim at a red dot on the wall and pull the trigger. There's a hollow thud when the iron bullet meets the wood.

"We aren't," Zeke says, staring at the hole I just made in the middle of the dot. "I just wanted to see for myself." When I raise an eyebrow at Zeke he explains, "My little brother tells me you're quite the shot."

"Your brother?"

"Uriah."

My eyes open wide and I slowly set the gun back against the wall. Human nature makes me look for some sort of resemblance between the two of them. I also haven't seen him since the attack and I want to ask if Uriah's safe. But I suppose he must be if he's spoken to his brother about me.

"He was right," Zeke says before I can say anything. "I won't ask you where you got the gun, but I am curious as to how you learned to shoot."

"I aimed… and I pulled the trigger," I answer smartly. That is what Kade told me to do, after all, when he gave me the gun.

"That easy, huh?" Zeke smirks. "You probably would've been a star in our initiation group."

I guess that answers _that_ question.

When Zeke gives me a genuine smile, the mood relaxes even more between us, and he and I both lean against the cold rock wall and watch the others train for a minute. I'm grateful for the break.

"Just so you know, I think you're all pretty brave for having come here," he says to me after a while. "Your wife was right. I think it's harder for you to trust us than it is for us to trust you. I'm not sure I would have been able to do the same had I been in your position."

I look over at him. "We don't really have much of a choice," I answer truthfully. "We don't stand a chance on our own." I probably shouldn't admit that to anyone, though they all know it anyway. But I feel like I can trust Zeke for some reason. I find he's far from the brutish Dauntless stereotype, and truthfully, I've taken to him. After only a couple hours I feel a strange familiarity between us.

Zeke nods and says, "I'll do everything I can to make sure Abnegation gets the justice it deserves. Tori can be stubborn, but she listens to me. And I'll remind her over and over again what we did until she can't help but do what's right. I can't imagine what you all have been through," he continues, "but it was a nightmare for us too. I literally woke up with blood on my hands, and I'll never be able to take it back. It wasn't my fault but I'll still have to live with it."

I give him an understanding nod. As hard as it may be for my grieving people to understand, Dauntless was broken apart just as much as we were because of the attack, though not as viciously. Half of their faction has sided with Jeanine, and the other half remains here. Families were torn apart and life-long friends have separated. And worst of all, every single one of them, even good men like Zeke, will have to live with what they've done, even though it was against their will.

"Not all of us hold it against you," I say. "I don't."

Zeke smiles a little. "Thank you," he says. "To be honest, you're not what I thought you'd be."

"How so?" I ask.

"Well when I heard the leader of Abnegation was coming, I was expecting an old bald guy with no balls and no vision," he stares in front of him with a small smirk. "But instead came Tobias Eaton- a young liberal, quite like myself, who has a lot more going on than he lets on." Zeke turns to look at me and I keep my face void of expression. "Can't say I wasn't glad though. Having you as their leader might be what keeps your people alive."

My attention is turned to the mat when I hear a loud thud; Will just slammed Caleb hard into the floor. Ironic. "It looks to me like I might be getting them killed faster." I nudge my chin in Caleb's direction. "My father would turn in his grave if he knew what I was doing."

For someone so brute and violent, Marcus hated the Dauntless. He hated the factionless even more. He'd have chosen death before working together with them. In a way, he did. To be honest, as much as I'm glad he's gone, I wish he was the one left behind to clean up this volatile mess. I wish he had had to face his people, look them in the eye and tell them what he'd done.

"There's a reason you're here and he's not," Zeke says. "Call it natural selection if you will." His answer is definitely different from anything anyone's ever said to me after Marcus' death had been brought up. But then again, the Dauntless didn't cry for their dead. They held what seemed to me like a party to celebrate their life.

I nod in response. It's a welcomed difference between our factions. After only a week I've grown weary of my father's memory and all those who mourn him.

When I don't say anything else, Zeke tosses a towel at me and says, "Break's over. Let's get back to work."

* * *

 **A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed Tobias' first day of Dauntless training! A big thank you to all our readers/reviewers :) Bamberlee and I do very much enjoy reading you guys' thoughts on each chapter! :D**


	33. Unbreakable Passion Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

 **TRIS**

Anxiously, and using the last bit of strength in my legs, I walk toward the entrance of Dauntless where Tobias is waiting for me. It's been an entire day without him and I, for one, am utterly glad it's over; it was difficult and it was emotionally and physically draining. I'm miserable, every inch of my body hurts and I want nothing more than to lie down with my husband and let the scent of him calm my soul and relax my aching muscles. I want him to whisper sweet words into my ear so I could get Lynn's execrable screaming out of my head.

I'm relieved when I finally catch sight of him; he stands alone in the dark. I walk out with Shauna, Susan and Emily but his eyes are only on me. I don't miss the tiredness in them.

I shiver as we step out into the cold, dark street; we literally trained from sunrise to sunset. I rub the goose bumps from my arm when another gush of cold wind hits me. Tobias takes off his coat and wraps it around me. It might be because I'm cold, or because I'm wearing next to nothing. Either way, I'm thankful. I lean into him and sigh. He smells musky and heady and masculine.

"Rough day?" he asks me. Something inside me comes alive at the sound of his voice.

"That's one word for it," I groan. I take a sip from the bottle in my hand.

"They did great today," Shauna says to Tobias with a smile. "Better go rest up for tomorrow." She quickly turns around and heads back inside. I groan again; the thought of having to do it all over again tomorrow is enough to make me want to collapse right here and now. But at the end of the day, I'm really glad Shauna's the one in charge of our training and not any of the others. I'm not sure Lynn or Tori would care enough to send us home alive.

We take to the broken sidewalk, and Tobias and I walk Susan back to the makeshift orphanage, then take Emily home. I'm sure if it had been just Susan and me, we'd have had something to talk about, but with Emily there it is fairly awkward, so no one says anything. I am way too tired for conversation anyway. And thankfully, we're all staying in the same general area, so it's not too long before Tobias and I get home.

Although we've only spent a couple nights in the small house, I'm entirely relieved when I see it. With my full body weight against him, I'm almost falling over Tobias when we walk inside. He turns the light on and closes the door behind him while I lean against the wall for support.

I take another sip of the magic juice Christina gave me after training; she said it would pick me up a little. I'm not too crazy about the taste, but the sugar in it does make me feel a lot less lightheaded. After three or four mouthfuls, I find the strength to lean up off the wall for a moment. I take off Tobias' coat and hang it by the door before falling back. I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths trying to collect myself. About a minute passes before I realize Tobias is perfectly quiet.

I open my eyes and find him staring at me- at my body really. That's when I remember my top has no sleeves and is practically glued to body, and my pants leave no room for the imagination. I suppose he hadn't noticed what I was wearing before since it was dark out. I stare back long enough to realize he isn't breathing.

"You're gawking at me," I point out.

"How can I _not_ gawk at you when you're standing there looking like _that_ ," Tobias answers. He stands paralyzed for a moment. I'm sure he hates it. Aside from the fact that the leader of Abnegation's wife has no business dressing like this, my body could never do the clothes justice. I barely have any breasts and I'd talk about my hips too if I had any.

I suddenly want to fold in on myself, and I cover the slightly exposed part of my stomach with my hands. That's when Tobias closes the gap between us and takes me into his arms. "You look incredible, Tris" he says.

"Do I really?" I ask him with pained insecurity. I believed him when he convinced me I was beautiful in my nakedness; that was easier since I had nothing to compare it to. But I've seen the Dauntless girls in these kinds of clothes; there should at least be a curve here and there.

"You too often forget how beautiful you are, Love," Tobias says. He rubs his hand down my back and pays special attention to the exposed skin just above the waist of my pants which he then grabs onto. "I like these. We should keep these," he whispers in my ear before kissing my neck. It makes me giggle. I can't remember the last time I giggled. "Where'd you get them?" he asks. "You should get more."

"The Dauntless girls gave us clothes to train in." And then, surprised and definitely not having expected his reaction, I ask, "You don't think they're too tight? I can barely move."

Tobias thinks for a while. He was born and raised Abnegation; of course he knows they're too tight. He says, "I'm still trying to decide if I love how incredible you look, or hate that someone other than me got to see so much of you." His face falls a little, and I suddenly feel guilty for being so willing to put these on. But then he adds, "They should be fine for training… as long as you put on actual clothes when you go outside."

I smile. "You won't hear any argument from me." Leaning up on my toes, I press a kiss to my husband's lips, and he deepens it all too easily. But then he suddenly breaks away.

"What are you drinking?" he asks, and he looks at the bottle in my hand.

"I don't know," I answer. "Christina gave it to me when I started feeling tired."

Taking the bottle, Tobias takes a sip of it and then laughs a little. "This is coffee, Tris. You probably shouldn't be drinking this. You might not be able to fall asleep tonight and you need to rest."

I sulk as he carefully pries the bottle from my hand. "How do you know what it is?" I ask. We only ever drank tea and water in Abnegation.

"I remember the taste. Kade had offered me some once," he explains. He picks up my hand again and examines my torn knuckles; his eyes sink as he stares at them.

"I'm fine, Tobias," I assure him. He doesn't seem to hear me. Thankfully he doesn't blow up. I know how much he'd rather I stay home instead of being someone else's punching bag. It's why I've refrained from asking him how his day was, because I'd have to tell him about mine and then he'd never let me go back.

"Come on," he says before picking me up and walking me into the tiny living room. "Let's get you off your feet." He sets me on the sofa. It's a dark red colour and it's surprisingly hard. I press my palms into it as I try to accommodate my body on the side that hurts less.

When I'm finally comfy, I look up to see Tobias preparing dinner, and by that I mean opening two cans of beans. He brings them over and passes me mine with a spoon. I scoot over so he can sit.

He looks grim. I suppose our first day of Dauntless training took its toll on the both of us. He might have had to deal with his own version of Lynn over there with the boys. Or maybe my brother said something stupid again. Either way, he's just as tired as I am, but far hungrier, I realize; Tobias scoops up the beans as if he hasn't eaten in weeks. I've barely eaten half of mine when his is finished. He must have skipped lunch today.

Lunch at Dauntless was… different. The taste, the portions, the variety were all unlike anything I've ever seen in Abnegation. I'm not sure how long they can upkeep their style of eating, since Jeanine is now in control of the food rations and has no reason to provide for the Dauntless who chose not to follow her. If they're not careful, the factionless might end up feeding _them_ too.

"You should have another," I say to my famished husband.

Tobias shakes his head and sets the empty can on the floor. "Have you ever wondered where the factionless are getting all this food?"

"I have," I answer, digging out another spoonful of beans. "And a lot of it looks like stuff we gave them." I remember the items that went into the bags my mother would so neatly pack: A can of soup, a fruit, a variety of vegetables, a pound of rice and two cans of beans. They're giving our own bags right back to us.

"So why hold onto it if they didn't need it?" Tobias shrugs. Then he answers his own question and says, "I guess they never really knew when their next meal would be coming so they salvaged as much as they could have."

"Only that's not true," I say. "They _did_ know when their next meal was coming, and they knew exactly where to get it." The Abnegation volunteer groups each had a specific day and location where they would go out and distribute food. The factionless were well aware of this. They would have been able to plan and ration for months in advance. I suppose that was wise on their part since the Erudite had long been wanting to cut the volunteer program, leaving them to starve like animals in the street.

Curiously, Tobias looks at me. "What are you thinking, Tris?"

"I'm thinking it's no coincidence they have guns and food. They weren't just prepared; they were prepared for an attack of this magnitude. And they did it all without anyone noticing."

"Kade did say they knew an attack was coming. They just didn't know when."

I only look at him. I've realized my husband's faith in Kade is something that might not be broken until he has proof in his hands that Kade is hiding something from us. But to me it's clear as day. "The numbers don't add up, Tobias. For them not to have been noticed, it would have taken them years to attain the amount of guns and food they have stored. Just how long have they been expecting this attack?"

"I don't know. But he did share a lot with me, Tris. Even though he didn't tell me he was their leader."

I shrug. "At this point I guess it doesn't matter who their leader is. Right now, I'm just really glad we were kind to them." That might have been the only thing that bought us mercy in the eyes of the factionless. And as much as I really don't know what their game plan is, at least this part of it entails keeping Abnegation alive. That's more than can be said for the Dauntless or any other faction in the city. "We have to make allies where we can," I add. "If we don't, we'll be on our own and we'll stand no chance of making it out of this alive."

Tobias nods. "I wish everyone understood that," he says softly. He leans forward, pressing his elbows into his thighs and passing his fingers roughly through his hair. He lets out a heavy breath and stares at the ground. "But I can see why they don't."

Realizing this is more than tiredness, I set my can of beans on the floor and crawl over to him. Taking his face into my hands and forcing him to look at me, I ask, "What's wrong?"

"I'm just tired," he lies.

I climb on his lap and wrapping my arms around his neck, my lips meet his in a deep kiss. It's a strategic move, one I've used one too many times on my husband. I've learned that when he tries to push me away it's actually then he needs me most, and by staying close, right where he needs me, I'd have to remind him that he can trust me.

"Are you ready to tell me the truth now?" I ask, my lips brushing his. Tobias grabs me by the hips, but he doesn't say anything. He breathes in and out a couple times before I realize he's fighting the answer. "Tobias, please don't do this," I beg.

"Do what?"

"Shut me out," I say, exasperated. "No more secrets. Remember?"

"Tris, I don't," he begins, closing his eyes. "I don't mean to. I just don't want to disappoint you."

"Why do you think you would?" I cradle his face again.

"Because you have so much faith in me, in what we're doing," he answers. His eyes burn into mine when he says, "But what if I can't do this? What if teaming up with the Dauntless isn't the right call?"

"Where is all this coming from? You know it is," I say sternly.

"Is it? How could it be when so many of my people reject the idea?" Tobias says strongly. "There were nine of us out there today, Tris. _Nine_. Which means I'm either making the wrong decision or I'm making the right one and my people don't trust me enough to lead them. And why should they? Look at you," Tobias says, holding up my bruised hand in front of my face. "This is what my decision did to you. What kind of husband does that make me?"

"First of all," I begin defensively, "It was _my_ decision to learn to fight- not yours. And don't be too quick to forget that most of the time, the Abnegation are too brainwashed to tap into their own common sense. If we don't fight we don't live."

"Yeah, but what's our plan? I mean, we learn to fight and then what? We storm into Erudite like an angry mob?" He scoffs. "Not like we'd get that far, not with the traitor Dauntless guarding the Erudite tower. And don't forget even the loyal Dauntless can turn on us any minute if we don't figure out a way to get those chips out of them."

That _is_ a problem. Shauna offered to let Susan and the orphans stay in one of the dorms at Dauntless where they'll have food and water. But all things considered, they might not be safe there.

"But we will be in danger no matter what we do and no matter where we go," I say. "We either fight back or sit there like lambs waiting to be slaughtered. Abnegation doctrine will save no one, Tobias. Quite the opposite."

"But I don't know where the line ends, Tris," Tobias says softly. "When asking my faction to do the exact opposite of what they've always done, where does their indoctrination end and my monstrosity begin?"

I'm left with my mouth open and my mind dazed. How could he possibly feel this way? "There is no monstrosity in you," I say to him almost pleadingly. "You gave them a choice. You are not forcing anyone to do as you say." Looking into his eyes, I remember how often my husband loses trust in himself. Marcus scarred him. For so many years Marcus made him believe he was nothing and he could do nothing. And now he's left with the burning obsession of not turning into his father and he over-analyses everything he does. "Being the son of a monster does not make you one, Tobias," I finally say.

"The funny thing is I'm doing exactly what he wanted me to do," Tobias says, "and I'm doing it under circumstances he created."

"Lead Abnegation?" I ask. With his face still in my palms, Tobias turns to look at the floor. His look of uncertainty turns into one of resentment and unease. "You're mad at him," I utter, finally understanding. "You're mad at him for dying and leaving you with his mess." I gasp a little. "You're mad because even from the grave he's torturing you." When Tobias doesn't say anything and instead chooses to continue staring at the floor, I know I've hit the nail on the head.

It's no wonder he's a mess. He's glad his father's dead while at the same time being upset about it. He wants to lead his faction while being afraid he doesn't know how. All while spending most of his time worrying about me. It's far too much for one person to hold on to.

"You have to forgive him, Tobias… Or it will destroy you," I whisper; my voice is laced with concern.

"I thought I had," Tobias whispers back. "I watched him die and I felt nothing."

"If you felt nothing, then you didn't forgive him."

"He wasn't even sorry." Sharply, Tobias finally looks at me, his eyes burning into mine. "He saw what he had done and he knew he was dying, and he wasn't even sorry."

"That's what makes it so difficult," I explain. "It takes incredible strength to forgive someone who isn't sorry." I rub my hands through my husband's hair and kiss his forehead. "Let him go. Don't let who he was poison who you are."

Tobias breathes evenly, so I know he's calm. I also know his mind is in a thousand places and his body hurts like hell. Inevitably, I feel guilty. It might be my own fault that he's holding this much inside. I haven't given him a chance to have any kind of release. We haven't made love since before the attack.

I remember how strong and confident Tobias would feel after lying with me. The best part of making love was never just about pleasure or even just about love. It was about the closeness, the support. It was reassurance to the soul that it wasn't alone and that it would never be alone.

Sitting up from his lap, I stand beside the sofa and take Tobias' hand. "Come with me."

He's reluctant at first, but then he stands to his feet. I lead him around the small sofa, through the kitchen and down the short hallway that ends at the bathroom door. Opening it, I lead him inside. I turn on the shower and let it run until the water is tepid, while unbuttoning his shirt and slowly pulling down his pants. Only when he's bare in front of me do I remove my tight, black clothes, and together we step into the shower.

With my hands on his hips I move him under the water and just let it run over his body for a while. I lather my hands with soap before reaching up and digging my fingers deep into his hair. I massage his scalp and I see when his whole body relaxes. His eyes close and he slumps into me until I can feel his breath on my face.

I work my way down, lathering his neck and arms. I can feel the tension in his muscles and I massage them a little deeper. I rub his palms and fingers the way my mother used to rub mine when they'd cramp from writing too much. I move to his chest; it's hard under my touch, almost feeling harder than before. I don't linger and I run my hand downward, washing his stomach.

When the soap has all washed off him, I put some more in my hands and go a bit further. I slide my fingers between his legs before wrapping them around his thick manhood. Slowly I stroke him, and I change the pressure of my grip with every stroke.

Tobias glides his hand down my arm before wrapping it around mine. He grips it tightly and dances it up and down. "Like that," he says raspily. I feel him harden in my hand and it's almost as if he gets longer the more I stroke him. His breathing gets heavier and he releases his grip on mine, but I don't stop.

Grabbing me by the waist, Tobias pulls me under the water with him. He attacks my lips as he lifts me up and presses my back against the cold, wet tiles of the wall. I straddle him at the waist and wrap my arms around his neck, pressing my chest against his.

First he tries to devour my tongue with his kiss, but then he attacks my neck, my collarbone, and my breasts. He licks and sucks at my nipple until I'm livid with want. I feel my heartbeat pick up in my chest and there's a rush of blood that flows into my fingers, strengthening them when I grab him. That's when he says it. "I want you, Tris. I need you." His voice is breathy and unsteady.

"I need you too," I say to him.

He doesn't hesitate. Tobias presses me harder into the wall and he thrusts inside me. I cry out in pain and pleasure as he stretches me. He groans and bites into my neck, the rhythm of his movements as he plunges in and out of me never losing sync. He picks up speed, thrusting faster and harder than he ever has. But I'm as hungry for him as he is for me, and I beg for more.

"Oh, Tobias" I think I say out loud. "Don't stop. Please don't stop."

The sound of my pleading only eggs him on, and his thrusts hammer me so hard up into the wall that I feel him in my stomach. My lips are the first to tremble, and then my legs, until my whole body is a convulsing mess. I grab onto his hair and into his back, steadying myself against him.

It seems he wants to drive me mad, because he takes one of my hard nipples between his fingers and squeezes ever so tightly. It's all I need to tip me over the edge, and I cry out over his shoulder as I climax long and hard. I tighten around him and I feel the resistance as he swells inside me. He grunts as he delves further into me, and then, with four fast plunges, Tobias comes undone inside of me. His body trembles and he groans lowly beside my ear.

He doesn't let go and neither do I. With my legs still wrapped around him, I rest my head on Tobias' shoulder and he begins to pass his hand over my hair. He cradles me against the wall, and we stay like that until our breathing makes sense.

I start to feel limp all of a sudden, and my eyes become heavy. "Take me to bed," is the last thing I whisper before there's nothing at all.

* * *

 **A/N: I'm incredibly glad you guys enjoyed the last chapter! Loved the reviews! Can't wait to hear your thoughts on Chapter 6 :D Major thanks to Bamberlee for making it better ;)**


	34. Unbreakable Passion Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

 **TRIS**

After four long days of fighting, we've finally graduated to guns.

Lynn presses mine into my palm without looking at me and keeps walking. She practically throws Susan's gun at her and doesn't even bother with Emily. Shauna's made her sister tone down the insults a bit, but her actions are just as loud. After I learn enough to finally be able to take her in a fight, I'm not sure I'd be as willing to put up with her as I am now.

I'm sure I stare at the weapon in my palm for a full minute before adjusting it in my hands; I curl my fingers around it, slipping my index finger over the trigger. Before the attack, I'd never seen a gun before, and never in my life did I ever expect to hold one, let alone fire one. It's heavy and cold; it feels dangerous just holding it, as if I could hurt someone just by touching it.

My mother would never approve of me firing a gun. She would say that guns are used for self-defense, if not violence, and therefore they are self-serving. How ironic is it that a gun is what took her life?

"You done?" I jump when Shauna suddenly appears beside me.

"Yeah," I answer, and I swallow my discomfort. I push the thoughts of my mother from my mind and try to accommodate the weapon in front of me, pointing it at the target. It's heavy and hard to lift away from my body, but I want it to be as far away from my face as possible.

"Open your legs a little and plant yourself into the ground," Shauna instructs. She gently kicks my feet and then examines my posture one more time. "Keep your feet shoulder-width apart and pointed in the direction of your target. And bend your knees a little." Shauna then bends my right elbow and straightens out my left. Slowly, she takes a couple steps back. "Hold your stance, Tris, but try not to be too stiff."

"Pun intended?" I say with a smirk.

Shauna playfully rolls her eyes at me then tucks her strip of purple hair behind her ears. "No. What I mean is, don't resist the position. Be at ease with it."

I try, but it all feels entirely unnatural. Still, I allow my muscles to relax just enough that I'm still in place but without squeezing anything.

"That's better," Shauna says with a smile.

She and I have formed a strange sort of bond in the past few days. We're both wary of each other in some ways and the tension is definitely still there, yet she admires my drive and I admire her maturity. We've started seeing each other as individuals rather than members of a certain faction, and because of that we know we can trust each other even if no one else. Because of Shauna, and even Christina, I've started to let go of the enmity there once was between us; they're good people. Tobias says the same thing about Zeke. I'd go as far as calling them friends.

"Do I use one eye or both?" I ask, trying to aim at the target in front of me. It's a life-sized cardboard cut-out of a man with a big red dot on his forehead and in the centre of his chest.

"Whichever works better for you," she says. "Try using your dominant eye first."

I close one eye and take aim. I squeeze the trigger, hesitantly at first and then harder, cringing away from the gun. The sound is loud, its echoing hurts my ears, and the recoil sends my hands back toward my nose. I almost lose my balance.

Shauna stares at the target with her mouth open; my bullet is nowhere near it. "You missed the target entirely," she laughs. "Try again."

I fire again and again, shooting at the cardboard man until my arms feel like they're on the verge of falling off. Still, none of the bullets come close.

Glad to take a break when Shauna is side-tracked by the sound of the door opening, I let my arms fall to my side. Someone walks in- a male. Christina seems to recognize him and unapologetically leaves Susan mid-sentence as she rushes over to greet him.

"Uriah!" Christina screams, and I take a step closer to see if it's really him- the Dauntless soldier who saved me and Tobias. When he laughs and steps into the light, colliding with Christina's embrace, I realize that it _is_ him. Then and there I'm filled with the most surreal feeling of fondness for him; I wasn't sure if I'd ever see him again.

Lynn, who up until now was not doing anything at all except actively ignoring Emily, makes her way beside me and Shauna. "What's Uriah doing here?" she asks. She folds her arms tightly across her chest. If she weren't always this unpleasant I'd say she almost looks upset to see him.

"I invited him." Shauna answers aloofly.

"Why?" Lynn snaps back.

"Because he stays home and sulks all day. He could use a distraction." Shauna's tone is firmer now, and I realize that Lynn really _is_ upset about Uriah being here.

"So why doesn't he go help the boys?"

"Because then he would _be_ a distraction." Shauna rolls her eyes at Lynn and walks away. Surprisingly, she grabs my hand and pulls me behind her. I quickly bend my knees and set the gun on the floor, not trusting that I wouldn't be clumsy enough to accidentally fire it.

At first Christina pulls him toward us, but Uriah recognizes me and runs right up to me. When he smiles at me it's so easy to smile back, and the next thing I know my arms are around him and we're both laughing.

"It's really great to see you, Tris," he says when we break apart. His smile is wide and kind, though his eyes are pained.

"It's great to see you too."

"You're wearing black," he takes a step back and grins at me. "Almost didn't recognize you."

Intrigued, Shauna's eyes flash back and forth between us, but she doesn't say anything. She calls over Susan and Emily who both set down their weapons and walk over to us. The two of them come to a stop beside me and smile warmly at Uriah.

"Girls, this is Uriah," Shauna begins. "He's gonna be helping us a little with training. Uriah, obviously you know Tris. This is Emily and-"

"Susan," Uriah interrupts. "I remember." His smile fades and his expression morphs into something of awe. "How are you doing?" he asks my friend.

"I'm ok, thanks to you." Susan's smile is honest, far more so than the usual Abnegation politeness she often gives the others. "And you?"

"I'm ok," he says. "I heard they're setting up one of the rooms here for you and the kids. It's really nice what you're doing for them."

"A lot of them wouldn't be here if it weren't for you," Susan says. It's not strange, the way she redirects the focus of attention back to Uriah. What _is_ curious is the transparent sincerity behind it- a quality often lacking in Abnegation pleasantries and one, ironically enough, that only someone of Abnegation origin could truly identify. It's pure. But then again, Susan has always been inherently selfless.

Uriah shakes his head slowly. "It was nothing at all," he says, but he's wrong; saving those innocent children and people like me and Tobias and Susan- that was everything.

Uriah glances at Lynn who's standing in the corner looking as though she'd rather pretend we all weren't here. "Gimme a sec," he says to Shauna and then excuses himself. He walks over to where Lynn is standing, and although I can't hear what they're saying, I know the conversation isn't a pleasant one. Lynn is constantly walking away from him, and when she isn't, she's flinging her hands at him and pushing him away. Just being in the same room with them I feel like I'm intruding in some way.

"I don't know why he even bothers," Christina mutters.

"Because she's his friend," Shauna answers softly. "They've been friends their whole lives and she's being stupid."

I'm curious, but I don't ask. Whatever it is they're fighting about I'm sure Uriah is not at fault. I barely know him but I can't imagine him hurting a fly. And if there's one thing I know about Lynn it's that she gets upset with people for very stupid reasons.

"Marlene, Uriah's girlfriend and Lynn's best friend, is with Jeanine now," Christina begins to explain without having been asked, as she so very often does. "And Lynn blames Uriah for it."

"How could that possibly be his fault?" Susan asks. It takes me by surprise. It's not every day she has enough blatancy to ask a question out of sheer curiosity.

"Because-"

"It's _not_ ," Shauna interrupts Christina without a thought, and then she glares at her before heading off to break up the two. "Ok. Enough chit-chat," she says loudly, forcefully dragging Uriah back over to us. "We've got a lot of work to do."

Uriah fixes himself, straightening out his black jacket. "Let's get started then," he says, still a little bit upset and flustered.

"You could start by helping the girls with their aim," Shauna tells him.

Realizing break-time is over, I walk back to retrieve my gun and face my target. Emily and Susan follow behind me and stand in front of the targets at either side of me. I begin to practice on my own since Shauna is busy yelling at Lynn, telling her she either cooperates or leaves. Christina seems entertained by it, and she just stands there watching them. Uriah, on the other hand, walks over and immediately tends to Susan.

Using his own gun, he shows her how to better hold it. Susan imitates him and then he fixes her stance and accommodates the gun in her hand. Supporting her elbow, Uriah shows her how to aim better.

"Lift your arm just a little bit higher… Like this," he says.

"I wish _I_ could get some one on one," Emily mutters beside me. I almost feel sorry for her. Christina and Shauna chip in when they can, but Lynn gives her almost no attention. I suppose now that Uriah's on-board there'll always be someone there to help her. Or possibly not, since he seems to already have taken to Susan.

Lynn's shouting in the distance is the last thing I hear before the door slams shut. After she leaves, Christina walks over to Emily and Shauna comes to stand beside me. Christina seems indifferent, but Shauna is obviously thrown off by her sister's behaviour. Still, my trainer engages in the task in front of her.

For a time, everyone is productive; there are three instructors and three guns firing, and I know Lynn will certainly not be missed.

Shortly after, the door opens again and everyone, in exasperation, turns toward it. I suppose we all expect Lynn to walk right back through it, having decided she wasn't done trying to make everyone miserable. But instead, Zeke walks in with my husband close behind him.

Elated, my heart jumps at the sight of Tobias, as if I didn't see him just this morning.

Shauna, however, doesn't share my sentiments. "You have got to be kidding me," she says, annoyed. She wears it on her face but Zeke doesn't care. He walks right up to Uriah and slaps him hard in the back.

"Hey, little brother. Heard you were hanging with the girls today."

"Well… They _are_ my preference," Uriah grins. He smiles so wide I can see almost all his teeth.

"Wait. Zeke's your brother?" I ask Uriah. I step closer to him and Susan.

"Yeah," he grins. And I see it- the same brown skin, dark hair, and wide smile. "Where do you think he gets his good looks?" Uriah winks at me and I'm sure I giggle.

"What are you doing here?" Shauna asks Zeke, trying to look upset. "You're disrupting my training."

"I came to see you," Zeke answers. He opens his arms wide. "Give me a hug. Don't act like you don't wanna see me, babe."

At first, Shauna rolls her eyes and turns her head away, but I see the corners of her lips slowly curve upward until she's no longer able to resist blushing. He walks up to her and wraps his arm around her shoulder and she playfully pushes him away.

"Zeke's her boyfriend," Christina clarifies softly in my ear; I was already suspecting a romantic relationship between the two.

Waving some sort of goodbye to us, Zeke takes Shauna over to a corner of the room where she immediately begins fussing. I can't hear what she's saying but I think I have an idea. She whines and buries her face into Zeke's shoulder, and I admire how comfortable they are with each other. I suppose it's a good thing he came to see her or she would've been frustrated with her sister for most of the day.

Both Uriah and Christina return their attention to the other girls when Tobias walks over to me. When I give him a curious glance, he smiles and says, "I go where he goes," nudging toward Zeke.

He wraps his arm around my waist, and side by side we begin to walk off.

"Did you know Uriah and Zeke were brothers?" I ask Tobias. He didn't seem the least bit surprised.

"Yes," he says. "It came up. I see you two have become friends already."

I stop walking, and I'd fold my arms if I wasn't holding a loaded gun. I watch him levelly for a moment. "Is that jealousy I hear in your voice, Tobias Eaton?"

"No," he smiles, "It just looks like you've really taken to him."

"I have," I answer honestly. "He's nice, and he _did_ save our lives."

"Oh, really?" Tobias smiles and leans his head to the side. "I thought _I_ was the one who did that."

"He helped." I give Tobias a face, scolding him with my eyes.

He chuckles and kisses me sweetly on the forehead. When he pulls away, he skims his thumb over the bruise on my left check. I wince. "How are you doing, Tris?" He asks me softly. Tobias has refrained from asking me too much about my training and I figure it's because he knows it's as rigorous as his. I don't think he can stomach the idea of me being punched and kicked at, so I don't tell him.

"Not too bad," I answer. "Obviously not as good as you if your trainer is taking you on walks."

Looking at the gun in my hand, he asks, "How's your aim?"

"I could do better."

"Let me see."

We walk over to the closest target where I find my stance, take aim and pull the trigger.

Thankfully, the bullet doesn't land as far off as it had the first time I tried to shoot. But I laugh when I realize just where my bullet hit. "I meant to do that," I say with a rude smile.

"You meant to shoot him in the balls?" Tobias laughs out loud and it's the most beautiful thing I've heard all day.

"Yes."

Tobias grins and wraps his arms around me; he moulds my body with his. I rest my back on his chest and I fit perfectly between his shoulders. His arms run along the length of mine and he grips my hands, steadying the gun in between my palms. Without meaning to, I close my eyes and relax into him, relishing the warmth of his body around me. Everything vanishes, like it's just him and me in the room.

"Concentrate, Tris," he whispers in my ear, and when his breath brushes against my cheek I feel like I'm about to melt.

"Sorry," I blush. It's hard to not get carried away with him this close to me. Every touch feels charged with energy since we started making love again. I suppose it's because he's started touching me in ways he never has before. He's still gentle but his grip is tighter, his thrust is harder, and when he puts his mouth on me it's like he truly aims to devour me.

"Hold it steady," Tobias says, his voice soft and deep. "Breathe in and out and lock your target."

"Ok."

"Now picture it in your mind- hitting the target. And when you're ready, shoot."

I stare at the point where the roof of my gun meets my target- like Shauna taught me, and I take several breaths in and out. I squeeze the trigger, hard, and I wobble in Tobias' arms as the bullet flies.

The cardboard man dances a little from the force of the bullet; I hit him in the arm. I missed the chest but at least it's a lot closer to the centre than before. I feel a rush of energy suddenly flow through me. I feel awakened with excitement- warm, powerful- giddy almost.

Tobias adjusts himself behind me. "Good," he says. He centres my arm a little. "Try again."

I nod. Focused and a lot more confident, I pull the trigger once more. This time I'm ready for the recoil. It makes my hands jump back, but my feet stay planted. A bullet hole appears at the centre of the target and my mouth falls open.

"I did it!" I squeal, staring with wide eyes and disbelief at the hole in the middle of the red dot.

"Yeah, you did," Tobias grins, and then he kisses me on the cheek. I lower the weapon and smile at the target. I lean deeper into Tobias' arms and he holds me a little tighter.

I start to think that maybe in another world where we both transferred, we'd belong here. Maybe Tobias would find me and we'd be that touch of grey in a sea of black. I could almost see it. But then, in the middle of my bliss, I feel the eerie sense of a pair of eyes on me. I shift in my husband's arms until I can get a look around me, only to turn and see in the corner a very salty looking Emily staring straight at us.

* * *

 **A/N: Sorry for the late post everyone! Had a very busy weekend (My sorta birthday party! and other things). Unfortunately, for the month of December, I will be posting every other weekend, so no chapter next week. With a new job and family coming over for the holidays, my hands will be a bit full until New Years. After that I should return to my regular weekly posting. Thanks so much for all the amazing reviews on the last chapter! I promise, things are gonna start to get real sticky real soon ;)**


	35. Unbreakable Passion Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

 **TOBIAS**

After having met with the girls and Uriah, Zeke gave me the rest of the afternoon off. Apart from me doing well in training, it looked like Shauna needed him more than I did.

At first I wasn't sure what to do with the extra time, but not wanting to hang around doing nothing while waiting for Tris, I decide to go pay Kade a visit. I haven't seen him since the first meeting with the Dauntless and I've been meaning to ask him a few questions, though not for myself. Tris doesn't trust him and that's understandable; she doesn't know him like I do. I'm sure it would help if I were to clear up a few things for her.

I knock on the door and I expect to see Kade when it swings open, but instead it's his uncle. I'm surprised; I haven't seen the old man in a while. His beard is longer now, thick and grey. He stands there staring at me, holding a piece of bread in his right hand. He's still chewing when he says, "Hello, young man. I reckon you're here to see my nephew."

"Yes," I answer. "I am." He doesn't seem to recognize me. That might be a good thing considering that during our last encounter I hit him in the face.

"What did I tell you about opening the door?!" I hear Kade shout as he makes his way over.

Sucking his teeth, the old man walks away, leaving me standing in the doorway. "I'm a grown man, Maddox. I can open the damn front door if I want to."

Gesturing for me to come inside, Kade yells behind him, "You're free to open the door to your room I know that! Stay in there all day if you want!"

On cue, the old man grumbles and makes his way to his room. He makes sure to grab another piece of bread and a glass of water on the way there. I feel guilty for a second, and I'm about to tell Kade he doesn't have to confine the old man to his bedroom; I don't mind his presence. But then I realize they're not alone. There's a woman sitting where _I_ usually do, the same woman who he brought to the meeting. Lola, I believe he said her name was. She stands to greet me.

"Tobias, this is Lola," Kade says. "I don't think you've been formally introduced."

"We haven't," Lola says, giving me a kind smile. Her voice is sultry and a little heavier than one would expect. She looks to be about thirty years old. "I've heard so much about you, Tobias."

Unfortunately, I can't say the same of her, so I'm not sure what to say. Seeing this, she laughs and explains, "Apart from his right hand woman, I'm also Kade's informant from Erudite."

"Oh," I say softly.

"See? You _have_ heard of me."

I smile at her a little. Lola seems like a pleasant woman.

We both take a seat and Kade sits across from us. "It's not often you will see me," Lola explains to me. "I only drop in when I have something to report or when I think I need to lay low for a while."

"Or when you miss sleeping on the floor and eating out of a can," Kade teases.

"That and other things," Lola says. She blushes a little. Kade doesn't notice but I do.

"So you live in Erudite?" I ask her. She's dressed like one of the factionless, but just looking at her I can tell she's well taken care of. Her dark, curly hair is lively and it shines, and there's still a bit of makeup on her face. She has no blemishes, just a small, flat mole on her right cheek.

"Yes," Lola answers. "I only came last week for the meeting, and today because I have some news."

I'm curious as to what her story is; how did an Erudite woman become loyal to the factionless? But my proper senses all tell me it's much too soon to ask.

"Tell me. How much do you know, Tobias?" Lola sits up in her chair and crosses her right leg over her left. She swings it back and forth just a little.

"I know Jeanine killed off the council because she wanted control of the city," I begin. "And also because she thought Abnegation was a safe house for Divergents, who she seems to think will be the end of order and justice. She took control of the Dauntless but then blamed _us_ for the attack and is now using that as an excuse to get rid of us. Last I heard she was threatening to imprison anyone who tries to obstruct her objective."

Lola smiles at me. "You said _us_."

Without realizing it, I identified myself as Divergent, something I've only ever admitted to Tris, and Kade had figured it out all on his own. I shrug. "No sense hiding it at this point." Everyone who knows who I am also knows Jeanine is a liar.

"True," she nods. "And you know plenty."

"Yet I don't know enough," I mumble, but Lola hears me.

"What do you want to know, Tobias?" she inquires. "Feel free to ask."

I start from the beginning. "Why did the Dauntless leaders choose to follow Erudite?"

I remember Kade telling me that a long time ago, while still in Dauntless, he noticed people were disappearing. I suspect they were all Divergent. Which means the Dauntless, or at least their leaders, have always been on board with Jeanine's plan.

"Because Max is an idiot," Kade grumbles. "He's always been an idiot."

"Max was fairly young when he took over leadership of Dauntless, and he was easily bought with promises of power and wealth," Lola explains. "He's currently Jeanine's right hand man and leader of her army of brainless soldiers. All he had to do was give up Dauntless." At least she kept her promise to _him_ , a courtesy she never extended to Marcus.

"Does Jeanine know about the Abnegation survivors?" is my next question.

"She speculates there are a few, yes. But she doesn't know about _you_ , and I suggest you keep it that way." Leaning deeper into the chair, she says, "You're a threat to her power."

"How so?"

"Any surviving member of the council represents the council," Lola begins. "Jeanine's predecessor tried to do exactly what she's doing now, which is demand that other factions hand over their Divergent. But the council shot him down, which is why he suspected Abnegation was protecting them. However, the other faction leaders didn't care about anyone's motive. They respected the governing system, and as long as there was an Abnegation council that overruled Erudite, that is what would stand."

"You're saying if the other faction leaders were made aware of my survival, they'd be inclined to disregard Jeanine's orders?"

"I'm saying if Jeanine finds out you're alive and hanging around her microchipped Dauntless, you're as good as dead. You need to remove those chips before you even think about doing anything else," Lola rightly says. That much I've known from the very beginning. "And even then you need to be careful," she continues. "Amity and Candor will listen to you, but they cannot protect you. And the minute you make yourself known to them, Jeanine will catch wind of it. So you need to have a solid plan before you approach them."

How convenient is it that the two strongest factions in the city have allied to take over? The Amity will not be quick to support retaliation; the same can be said of what remains of Abnegation. As for Candor, truth is no match for strength and intellect on the battlefield.

Taking control of the Dauntless was strategy. However, Jeanine might not have factored in the Dauntless who wouldn't surrender their loyalty to her, or the factionless' intervention. We will need them both if we are to level the playing field.

"So how do we get the transmitters out?" I ask Lola.

"I don't know. But I'll try and find out," she answers. "What I _do_ know is that after you've taken them out, whatever you plan to do you need to do it quickly. The Dauntless who chose to not follow Jeanine aren't a concern for her as long as they're chipped. But the minute she realizes the transmitters aren't functioning or she finds out they've teamed up with the surviving Abnegation and the factionless, she will go after them. And if her traitor Dauntless refuse to kill their own, she'll make them."

The thought is sickening- an army of mind-controlled Dauntless unknowingly shooting at their friends, their brothers, their mothers. Jeanine Matthews is a kind of evil all her own.

"And _you_ ," Lola says pointedly at Kade. "You need to be careful. She's asking questions about how the factionless came to be in possession of functional weaponry and why they got involved in the first place. She's not onto you. She's thinking one of the Dauntless leaders double crossed her and tried to sabotage the attack." She lowers her voice and it's reeking with concern when she says, "You might want to lay low for now."

Kade only nods as Lola stares at him. It's obvious she has some sort of affection for him beyond being his partner in crime. He, on the other hand, doesn't seem to take notice of it.

"I'm going back in tomorrow," Lola says, "and then you might not hear from me for a week or two depending on how things are."

"Why so soon?" Kade asks. He sounds disappointed.

"Candor brought in three Divergents two days ago. I want to know what became of them."

This catches my attention. If the other factions are already handing over their Divergent, we're going to need to move fast. God only knows what Jeanine plans to do to us.

Lola uncrosses her legs and stands to her feet. I stand as well, and we both say our farewells. Kade walks her over to the front door, and he's hesitant to let her leave. "Take care, Lola," he says. It's strange. I can see he cares for her but it's almost like he's fighting it.

"I always do," Lola answers before she turns to leave.

Kade is slow to close the door and he seems to be lost as he stares outside.

"She seems nice," I say to him. He doesn't answer.

The silence is broken when another door creaks open. I look to my right to see Kade's uncle walking out of his room with an empty glass in his hand. "She's such a lovely girl," the old man says. I wonder how much of our conversation he overhead. Strangely, he comes to sit beside me. A number of bread crumbs fall from his beard when he says, "But Maddox doesn't blink when he sees a pretty thing. Not after… what was her name again?"

The old man stares at me as if he expects me to know the answer to his question. I stare back, and the more I stare at him the more familiar his eyes look. It might be that he was around too when my mother would bring me here. Then, all of a sudden, his lingering question sparks up a hungry curiosity in me and I can't help but idly wonder if it's my mother's name he is trying to remember.

"Don't make me send you back to your room, Uncle," Kade says sternly, but there's a playful smile on his face.

"It's always ironic when you do that," his uncle says. "I must have done that a thousand times when you were a boy."

"Well what do you know? The world _can_ be a just place." Kade takes the glass from his uncle's hand and goes to put it in the kitchen sink.

"What's your name, Sir? If I might ask."

The old man nods at me. "Forgive my nephew. He lost his manners a long time ago. My name is Rodney "Lightning" Kade. My friends used to call me lightning cause I was quick." He picks his arms up and punches at the air. "You should've seen me in my day. There wasn't a man in Dauntless who could beat me in a fight."

Kade circles around his uncle's chair and smiles at him before taking a seat on the edge of it. I can tell that as much as he's annoyed by his uncle sometimes, he loves him. Quite honestly, I think I might like him too. He seems like an alright old man when he's not drunk and grabbing people's wives in the alley. Tris would probably have a heart attack if she knew I was sitting here conversing with him.

"How has training with the Dauntless been going?" Kade asks me. He opens a can and drinks from it.

"As good as could be expected," I answer. "A couple more have joined. Truthfully, I wish they all would."

Kade nods. "Well the ones who can't or won't fight are gonna have to learn how to hide better. They dress like us but anyone looking for them would be able to sniff them out in a second."

I don't doubt that. Abnegation mannerisms are hard to miss. They don't call us stiffs for no reason.

"Tris told me a friend of hers was given shelter at Dauntless headquarters. Maybe it would be best if all of us stayed underground," I suggest. "But then again, as long as the Dauntless are chipped, I suppose we're in even more danger there."

"No one is safe anywhere, Tobias," Kade says with a slight chuckle. "But staying at Dauntless should be ok as long as Jeanine remains ignorant of your survival."

"And how long do you think that's gonna last?"

"I don't know, but all of my people- except this one," Kade looks at his uncle, "know to keep their mouth shut. Hopefully the Dauntless do too. Besides, Tori's also supposedly working on a way to get the chips out."

"Supposedly?"

"I take everything the Dauntless say with a grain of salt," Kade grumbles. He takes another sip of his drink, tilting his head all the way backward. By this time his uncle has settled so well into the chair that it looks like he's about to fall asleep.

"Maybe some of the factionless could move in too, just to be on the safe side. I'm sure they have room."

"They'd kill us at the door," Kade says. "The Dauntless aren't too happy we got involved, and I'm not just talking about the traitor Dauntless."

I raise an eyebrow at him when I realize what he's suggesting. "Why? You ended the attack. You saved a lot of people that day."

He lets out a breath. "Yeah, we also killed a lot of people- a lot of Dauntless."

I nod slowly. I suppose it's understandable. The Dauntless were killing us but they weren't acting of their own free will. They didn't deserve to die any more than the Abnegation did, but neither did the factionless who lost their lives that day. The Dauntless should be reminded of that.

Kade rubs his uncle on the shoulder when it looks like he's about to keel over on the floor. It doesn't take much to convince Rodney to go to bed. After telling me what a pleasure it was to have met me, the old man slowly makes his way to his bedroom.

Kade takes his place on the chair beside me and sets his empty can on the floor. Finally alone with him, I return to the real question I had wanted to ask him before happening upon Lola.

"Why didn't you ever tell me you were leader of the factionless?"

My question catches Kade by surprise. He's left with his mouth slightly open and nervously, he runs his hand through his hair. "I'm sorry, Tobias," he says, anxious. "I don't really have an excuse other than I didn't know how or when. I know Tris doesn't trust me, and finding out I had kept that from you probably made it worse, but I can promise you both I have no ulterior motive. My people are loyal to yours."

It's a loyalty I believe extends beyond our care for them over the years; there has to be something more to make them willing to fight and die for us. "Well now that we're better acquainted and everything's out in the open, is there anything else you're not telling me?"

"I don't believe I have any reason to hide anything from you, Tobias," Kade says. I notice he doesn't directly answer my question but I don't push it. It would be hypocritical of me to force a man to offer up his harmless secrets when I have a mountain of my own.

"What about the Dauntless? Will you let them in on everything Lola's found out?" I imagine they were talking long before I showed up.

"The Dauntless are on a need to know basis. As it is, they don't even know Lola's my informant."

"You don't like them- the Dauntless." I suspect Kade has his own personal issues with the Dauntless. It was evident at the meeting, he doesn't like the idea of them meddling in his affairs and how he chooses to run his faction of factionless. It makes me wonder why he agreed to work with them in the first place.

Kade has a sour look on his face. "Most of my people are ex-Dauntless: Divergents who had been figured out and ran before they permanently disappeared, the old, the weak, or those who just didn't fit in right," he explains. "They kicked out everyone with a heart, a brain, and a wealth of experience to pass on to the next generation."

"But it wasn't _them_ exactly," I say to him. "It was their leaders."

He gives me a look. "The point is Dauntless is a shit faction filled with shit people. I wouldn't trust them if my life depended on it."

Without wanting to, I immediately think of Zeke and Uriah. The brothers might just be two of the most decent people I've ever met. It would be unfair to just throw them in a bunch with all the others. "Not all of them," I insist strongly.

"I know that," Kade answers with a nod. His face softens a little. "But unfortunately, I speak of a great majority."

"So why are you working with them then?" I feel the need to ask. "You might have enough men to bring down Jeanine all on your own."

"For several reasons," Kade answers. "One of them being that when it comes to the Dauntless, not working with them means working against them. There'd be an army of loyal Dauntless, an army of traitor Dauntless, and an army of factionless all fighting for the same city; it would be chaotic." Kade stares at the floor for a short while, I imagine with a mental picture of it all in his head.

"More importantly," Kade continues, "This war isn't about us. It's about Abnegation and the Divergent. The odds of beating Jeanine are doubled if we team up. And I won't take stupid risks or let my people die unnecessarily just because I dislike the help." He looks up at me strongly. "We're gonna take back this city. Even if that means I have to tuck my tail between my legs and take orders from the Dauntless... for now."

"And _then_ what happens? Who's going to claim control of the city when this is all over?" I become curious, since Dauntless might not be so willing to hand over leadership back to Abnegation the way Lola is suggesting Candor and Amity will. Especially after they were the ones who fought for it.

"I honestly don't know," Kade says grimly. "We'll have to cross that bridge when we get there."

I immediately sit up in my chair. "What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

"It means," Kade says, "that right now we all have the same objective, but varying motives. The factionless have a united front- we're behind _you_ , but the Dauntless are divided amongst themselves. Take Tori for example. Her older brother and I were friends growing up. He disappeared shortly after initiation and he was being watched from the day he took his aptitude test. It doesn't take a genius to put two and two together; he was Divergent and the leaders had figured it out and surrendered him to the Erudite. I know Tori well enough to know she's leading Dauntless into a war so she can avenge her brother." With a crooked smile, Kade adds, "The funny thing is, the Dauntless don't give a rat's ass about her brother. Some are fighting because their pride was hurt; others are fighting out of guilt or because they really do believe Abnegation should be avenged. But the majority are fighting because it's all they know how to do- fight at any given reason. When we get what we want is when we'll know who is in it for what, because they will voice what it is they hope to get out of it."

I don't say anything at first. It's a lot to take in. Who is to say the Dauntless won't try and seize command; I certainly won't be in a position to fight them for it. Unless, of course, the factionless continue to fight behind me. Not to mention the internal conflicts that might arise when the Dauntless all want to return to their own respective agendas.

The city might be in even more chaos after we bring down Jeanine.

I leave Kade's not too long after; I figure Tris and the girls should be finishing up by now. But even as I wait for my wife at Dauntless' entrance, the conversations of the day weigh heavily on my mind. I don't even notice someone has stepped out and is standing right beside me until she says, "It's a nice night, isn't it?" My head turns quickly only to find Emily Taylor less than a foot away from me. "The city looks calm," she says. "You'd never know we were at the brink of war."

I only nod. Sometimes I don't know what to say to her. I want to tell her that her father would be proud of what she's doing, but I don't want to awaken her grief. When I say nothing, Emily looks at me and smiles. It's strange seeing her in black and with her hair in a ponytail but it suits her, though not like it suits Tris. Tris wears Dauntless on her face and even more so in her spirit.

"You look tired, like you could use a break," Emily says, still smiling at me. After working with me for so long at my father's office, Emily has become well acquainted with many of my expressions, even those I don't realize I'm making. She always knew just when to bring me a glass of water or warm tea.

I chuckle. "I could." Though not from training. "What about you? How's training coming?" I ask.

"I could use some help," she answers with a small pout.

"Can't be _that_ bad," I answer.

"It's actually worse," Emily says with a quiet laugh.

"Well… just keep practicing," I suggest. She can't be any worse than Caleb and even he seems to be improving a little.

"Hey, maybe you could stay back after and train me," Emily suggests with a big smile on her face.

I want to tell her that I might not be able to since they tend to finish so late, and I wouldn't keep Tris waiting. But the smile on her face is so refreshing to see knowing everything she's been through that I can't find it in my heart to disappoint her. "Sure," I say. "I'm sure Tris and Susan won't mind the extra workout either."

"Well… I was thinking maybe it could be just the two of us," she frowns. "I don't mean to sound sour but, they're already getting so much attention, I feel sort of at a disadvantage. Lynn doesn't really like us and I'm stuck with her so I spend most of the day with the punching bag. Beatrice is a natural and Susan has Uriah helping her out now, so I'm about to fall _way_ behind."

I nod, understanding her sentiments. "Well in that case, I don't see why not."

Emily grins. "Thank you, Tobias. You were so good with Beatrice today," she says. "After you left, she never missed her target again."

I smile wide, feeling proud of my wife, and proud that I could have helped her.

For some reason, Emily frowns at my smile and stares at her fingers for a few seconds before she says, "You're a great husband, you know." She looks up at me with a hint of melancholy on her face. "To be honest, I was a bit upset when my parents told me about you and her. I was always nice to your father because I was hoping he'd nudge you in my direction. But it never happened so…"

She catches me off guard and I don't know what to say to her; I don't know what to make of what she's told me. It's not like I never knew, it's just that I never expected she'd ever be bold enough to admit it, especially now that I'm married to Tris. When Emily smiles again and looks up at the sky I figure it makes no sense to read too much into her honest confession. I doubt she means any harm. In silence, we stand there and wait for Tris.

* * *

 **A/N: Not posting last week made me very excited to post this chapter lol Hope you guys enjoyed it as much as the last one! :)**


	36. Unbreakable Passion Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

 **TRIS**

It should be a criminal offence having to tear one's self from bed on a Saturday morning, especially before the sun has risen.

I wake up feeling incredibly sore and I barely make it out of bed. I shouldn't be surprised that the Dauntless expect us to keep going, but I had anticipated at least one day off during the week for recuperation. No need to say I was wrong.

I take a cold shower to help wake myself up and soothe my aching muscles. When I'm done I try to stretch myself out a bit, but it doesn't help much; ironically, I still feel stiff. And not being able to lift my arms all the way up, I struggle to pull my top on. Christina loaned me a much more comfortable pair of training pants, so at least those are easier to get into.

I've come to love wearing black. The only time I wear grey now is during the first five minutes after I shower at night and put on my nightgown, after which Tobias gracelessly takes it off. I tell myself I prefer the black because if I'm ever spotted by a traitor Dauntless, they're less likely to shoot at me, thinking I'm one of them. Or simply because the Dauntless girls don't keep grey training clothes in stock. But neither of those things is really true. I wear black because I like it, because I feel more like myself in it.

Most days, Tobias still wears a combination of the two. I watch as he slips on his grey sweatpants and a white T-shirt. He looks stronger already; the lines between his muscles are deeper. I don't look that much different, but I do feel stronger, as sore as I am. I suppose I don't have much to change either since we're almost done with the physical part of training.

As we get dressed, Tobias is quiet and so am I. We haven't exchanged that many words since we got home last night. He probably just thinks I'm tired, which I certainly am, but to be honest, I'm not sure how I feel about what I saw last night. It bothered me so much that I went to bed with it on my mind.

Coming out of Dauntless together, Susan, Uriah and I were all talking and laughing at first. But there was Emily, standing a bit too close to Tobias, and obviously she was very comfortable doing so. She didn't look sick at all, which was the whole reason why she had asked to leave early. After everything, I can't seem to convince myself she was out there for any other reason than because she knew Tobias would be waiting alone.

I don't need any more signs to be sure that I don't want Emily anywhere near my husband. I don't want to tell him so, but I know I need to. It wouldn't be wise to just let it simmer inside me.

Taking a breath, I decide to just get it over with. "I saw you talking to Emily last night."

Tobias doesn't look at me as he tightens the lace on his training boots. "Yeah," he says. "You don't still have a problem with her do you?"

I stare at Tobias wide-eyed even though he's not looking at me. Last night, my smile vanished as I saw them, and I know they both noticed.

"I don't like the way she looks at us- at _you_ ," I say. "I saw her staring when you were helping me yesterday, and she looked like she wanted to tear me to pieces." Standing upright, Tobias gives me a strange look. "What?" I ask him.

"She was probably just observing, Tris. She asked me to help her with her training," he says, as if it were nothing.

"And you said yes?" I raise my eyebrows at him.

"What was I supposed to say?"

"You were supposed to say _no_ ," I answer strongly. I'm sure he notices the change in pitch, tone and volume in my voice.

Letting out a breath and walking over to me, Tobias sets a hand on my waist. "Emily's going through a hard time. She's just looking for comfort."

"Well tell her to look somewhere else." I practically sing the words. I swear Tobias rolls his eyes at me.

"She lost her parents, Tris."

"So did I, Tobias," I answer quickly. "And so did you. Losing her parents doesn't give her the right to throw herself at you. And if you don't set her straight- I will."

"She isn't throwing herself at me." Tobias looks frustrated. He pulls his hand away and his arms hang tensely from his shoulders.

"She isn't? Or do you just refuse to admit it?" I'm suddenly fuelled by irritation. I can't believe he's standing in front of me defending her!

I can ever so clearly remember the way she kept blushing at him from across the dinner table when we had dinner at their house, the way she reluctantly ushered me into my own husband's office as if I were an intruder. She's always wanted him, but at least then our factional norms restricted her to quiet passive aggression. Those norms no longer exist, and I fear she's out to get what she's always wanted.

"Think about it, Tobias," I challenge him. "Why does she need special training from _you_? What's she doing all day?"

"She told me Lynn's been ignoring her."

"How convenient is that," I say, frustrated. It's not a lie, but it's not like she hasn't been training. Uriah's picked up most of the slack.

"You need to stop assuming the worst of everyone," Tobias says in a careful tone. "First Kade and now Emily. I know you're going through a lot right now, Tris, and we don't know who we can trust, but you-"

"Don't you dare use my grief against me!" I snap at him, upset. "I'm not crazy, Tobias!"

"I never said you were," Tobias answers calmly and he takes a step closer to me. "Tris, do you trust me?" he asks. Not too long ago he asked me the very same question, with me in one hand and a gun in the other, just before stepping into the war outside. My answer hasn't changed.

"It's _her_ I don't trust."

Tobias takes my face between his palms. "You know I would never hurt you, Tris. We're going to train and nothing else. And you're welcome to be there," he says. "I'm actually thinking about inviting James. He could use the practice."

Wounded, I try to force back the tears. Even knowing how much it will upset me, he's still going through with this. So much for never hurting me.

"Do whatever you want, Tobias." I take his hands from my face and I leave the house without him.

* * *

Training is not as brutal today. We didn't spar this morning; instead, we're working with the daggers and knives. I was grateful, not sure if my tiredness or mental frustration would dominate my fights.

I was clumsy with the knives at first, so I started practicing without them, finding the right stance and learning the right arm motion. When I did start actually throwing the knife, I quickly got the hang of it. Maybe it was the fact that I was upset with Tobias but I hit the target every single time.

The physical release of frustration and the fact that I was good at it actually made me feel better. Watching Emily's knives repeatedly fall short and clatter on the floor helped as well. For the entire morning, she stayed in her corner and I stayed in mine. It was all the confirmation I needed; Emily knew exactly what she was doing and knew better than to approach me.

While the rest of us take a short break, she's actually still standing there attempting to hit her target; Uriah is nice enough to help her. I try not to but it's hard for me to not glare at her every now and again and then smile when she misses.

"You really don't like her, do you?" Christina asks. I quickly divert my eyes back to the group. I don't answer her. I was hoping no one would notice so I wouldn't have to explain. I haven't even told Susan about it.

Christina laughs at me when I ignore her question. "I bet it's because of a boy. It's _always_ because of a boy."

"Or girl," Lynn corrects her with a smirk. Lynn still hates us. I can see it in the way she looks at us, but I suppose someone talked _some_ sense into her since she's at least being civil. And I'm guessing she's over here with us because Uriah is not.

"Or girl," Christina chuckles. "But let's not forget who we're dealing with here." When Christina points at me, I unconsciously roll my eyes.

"Oh my God… it _is_ because of a boy," Christina squeals. Everyone is quiet and when they all stare at me I almost feel compelled to answer. Aside from Lynn and Emily, the rest of us have actually formed some kind of friendship. This is almost always how we spend our breaks- sitting in a circle, talking.

"She keeps flirting with Tobias," I admit softly.

"Well he married _you,_ didn't he?" Shauna suggests with an incredulous shrug. I suppose the idea of infidelity among the Abnegation is a hard one to generate. And he _did_ marry me, though not because he wanted to. That shouldn't matter now, yet it's the first thing I think about.

That might be why I have such a strong distaste for the pretty girl who speaks to my husband when I'm not there. If I were to be honest with myself, I'd admit that I feel threatened by her. She makes me wonder, really wonder, if Tobias had been given a choice, would he have chosen me? She makes me wonder if Tobias only fell in love with me by default.

"So you guys are married? Like… _married_ married?" Christina asks, sitting up straighter. She extends both arms behind her back, resting her palms on the floor, and rests into them.

"Is there any other kind?" asks Susan with a laugh.

"Oh, yeah," Christina clarifies chirpily. "My older sister and her boyfriend were shacked up for years before they officially tied the knot. Kinda like Zeke and Shauna." She smirks.

"Oh shut up!" Shauna answers with a grin. She flies an air kick in Christina's direction, which Christina comically tries to dodge.

"Anyway, it's not uncommon for a couple to live together and test the waters of commitment before they actually go through with it," Christina says. Susan and I exchange a look. That might not be uncommon in Dauntless but it's unheard of in Abnegation. I can doubtlessly say it wouldn't be allowed at all.

"So marriage isn't the norm in Dauntless?" I ask curiously.

"Not for someone our age. You guys are still babies," Christina points out. "And speaking of babies, what kind of protection exists in Abnegation anyway? Or is family planning considered selfish?"

I know she's teasing because I hear Lynn snickering in the background. I'd answer, but I don't understand her question.

"Protection?" I ask. Then, suddenly realizing that everyone expects me to know the answer to that question, the silence that follows it is entirely awkward and uncomfortable.

Shauna buts in when she realizes I don't. "Why would they need protection, Chris? Everybody knows the Abnegation don't have sex." Shauna winks at me inconspicuously, and both Christina and Lynn begin to laugh loudly. Susan is still staring at me. "Forgive Christina," Shauna says to me. "She's Candor-born. Verbal diarrhoea is second nature for her."

"I've realized," I mutter. Her candidness is almost always too much for me. I feel violated to be honest.

True to her nature, Christina easily removes me from the centre of attention and pokes at the next susceptible person. "What about _you_ , Susan? Anyone special?"

Susan's face turns a whole new shade of red. She told me Caleb's been sleeping over since she moved into Dauntless with the orphans. I've had to ask her about my brother several times since I haven't seen him at all in the past week, and she says he's been rather bitter. I'd prefer he dismiss whatever problem it is he has with my husband and use that same energy to focus on Susan. He's just using her as a bin in which to unload his frustration, while she's too selfless to tell him to stop and likes him too much to not read into it. I really wish he'd stop screwing with her head.

Luckily, Susan isn't really given time to answer; Uriah calls out to us, signalling the end of break time. Protesting, the others all stand up and return to training, but Shauna discreetly pulls me over before I can follow behind them.

"I noticed you kinda froze at Christina's question," she whispers to me though the others are already out of earshot. "Are you _trying_ to get pregnant?"

"God, no." I shake my head, embarrassed.

"I thought so," she mumbles. Shauna walks me over to the corner where her purse is resting and picking it up, she searches inside and pulls something out. "Here," she says, and she places in my hand a round, plastic container. I can see several pills inside, all fashioned in the shape of a circle. "Start the pack on the first day of your next period. You take one a day, every day. Take it at the same time every day or it might not work. Do it right and it'll stop you from getting pregnant before you want to."

"Thank you," I say to Shauna, still staring at the circle of pills. I never thought about it, but as bad as it sounds, a pregnancy would be just about the worst thing to happen to me right now.

"This is a month's worth. I have plenty so just let me know when it runs out."

I nod.

"I'm hoping one day soon I won't need them," Shauna continues. "Not now. But one day." She smiles for a short while and I can only assume she's thinking about her and Zeke having a child together one day. I've never imagined what a baby between me and Tobias might look like. I've never imagined having children at all.

When finally breaking from her daydream, Shauna looks at the others; Emily and Susan are both still failing miserably at knife throwing. Deciding I don't need more practice-not more than the others do anyway, she asks, "Want to take a walk?"

Stuffing the pills in my pocket, I don't hesitate to agree and I don't look behind me when we walk out of the training room.

Shauna takes me through a different set of tunnels than the one I'm used to. I only know it's different because of the spray painted graffiti on the walls- aside from that they look identical. From the looks of it, I'm not sure I'd be able to find my way around Dauntless on my own. But we don't walk for too long, and we come to a set of double doors which Shauna gracefully pushes open. "This is the Pit," she says, "The central part of Dauntless."

"The Pit?" I ask, but when I look around me, I understand. We're in an underground cavern so huge I can't see the other end of it. The rock walls are uneven and rise several stories above my head. Built into the stone walls are places for food, clothing, supplies, and leisure activities, all connected by narrow paths and steps carved from the rock. Blue lanterns dangle at random intervals above the stone paths, and for contrast, I imagine, there's a slant of orange light stretching across one of the rock walls. The roof of the Pit is made up of panes of glass and above them is a small building that allows sunlight to pass through.

Shauna is quiet as she glances around; it's almost as if, like me, she's never seen the place before. But that might be because she's always seen it crowded with people, all dressed in black, all shouting and talking. I can't imagine how haunting the silence is to her; I only know that it is.

"You should have seen this place only two weeks ago," she says, awe in her voice. Honestly, I wish I had.

Shauna leads me to the right side of the Pit, which is conspicuously dark. I squint and see that the floor on this side ends at an iron barrier. As we approach the railing, I hear a roar—water, fast-moving water, crashing against rocks.

I look over the side and gasp; the floor drops off at a sharp angle, and several stories below us is a river. The gushing water strikes the wall beneath me and sprays upward. The left side of the river is calmer, flowing quickly with constant ripples, but to my right it is white and foamy as it battles the rocks.

"This is incredible," I say. There is nothing like this in Abnegation, or should I say _was_. There was no place for recreation or socialization. There was no place where one could just truly satisfy their senses and enjoy being a human being. Despite all they taught me, I find nothing selfish about it all. Looking around me all I see is beauty and the chance of a wholesome life. I think I would have loved living here.

Shauna smiles at me. "Come," she says, and she leads me up the steps. I walk carefully. There are no barriers to keep us from falling over the side. "It's been deserted since the others left. Tori doesn't want anybody looting, but I'm sure she won't mind if we take a few things."

We stop in front of a clothing store. There's a sign at the top that reads _Jessica's_. Shauna pushes open the small glass door and ushers me in. The lights are off inside, but enough daylight comes through the door that we can see.

Shauna takes me all the way to the back, directly to the underwear section. She skims through the rack while I look at the items on display. I'm sure my eyes are popping out of my head; most of the pairs of underwear look more fashionable than they do functional, and the materials all look very uncomfortable.

Shauna glances at my waist and then smiles. "Perfect," she says, and she removes a small, white hanger from the rack. On it is a pair of underwear made of red lace. Nonchalantly, she hands it over to me.

"What's this?"

"A weapon."

"Where's the rest of it?" I ask her, only slightly joking.

Shauna chuckles and then she says, "Men only speak one language, Tris. And most of the time they think with the wrong head. _That_ ," she says, pointing at the pair of underwear, "is to keep Tobias from thinking about anyone else but _you_. When girls like Emily come around, you can't be afraid to play dirty. Remind Tobias why you're the one he wants to be with. And make it entertaining."

I stare at the red lace. It _is_ attractive and bound to capture his attention. It's definitely different from anything we used in Abnegation. Rubbing the material between my fingers, I ask, "You don't think I'm being paranoid? Tobias seems to think so."

"No," Shauna says, her previous humour gone. "I don't think you are. I've noticed a few things," she shrugs. "Besides, you should never doubt your intuition. Take it from me."

I look at Shauna and raise my eyebrows. "Zeke?"

She nods. "There was this one girl we kept fighting about. I knew she was flirting but he thought I was just being paranoid. We fought about Bianca for months until I finally dropped it. I was still mad but I left it alone. And somehow that very girl ended up coming on to him at a party while he was drunk. Nothing happened, thank God, and he came running back to confess what she had tried to do and that he was wrong."

Her story unsettles me because Tobias doesn't perceive underhandedness the way I do, and it might come to proving him wrong for him to believe me. I'm not sure I could bear it.

"Stop worrying," Shauna says, setting an arm on my shoulder. "Tobias is one of the good ones. He'll stop it before she goes too far. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't be proactive." Taking back her arm, she picks out one more pair- a blue one.

"What if it's not enough?" I softly question, staring at the garments in my hands. Over the past few days I've kept wondering who Tobias would've chosen if he was ever given the choice. It's not to say he doesn't love me- I know he does. But would he have still fallen for me if he wasn't forced to live with me? And without any real factional pressure to force him in any direction, when Emily walks back and forth in front of him, will he finally open his eyes and realize that he could do better than me?

"Tris," Shauna begins softly. "A woman will always be your man's greatest weakness. And everything will be fine as long as that woman is you. In the unfortunate event that he _does_ do something stupid, don't be afraid to make him miss you." I look up at her. "It's hard because it's something that hurts the both of you. But a lot of times, it's the only way to make them understand how much they've hurt you and that you mean business."

Just the thought of fighting with Tobias again is enough to bring tears to my eyes. I hate it. I hate being distant from him and not just physically. All day I've felt like someone's been trying to rip my insides out.

"You love him," Shauna says, "and he loves you, and everybody with eyes can see that." She smiles at me.

"Love doesn't stop people from making mistakes," I say.

"It doesn't. But it brings them home repented. And when he's trying to make it up to you and you're satisfied with his apologizing, make sure you're wearing a skirt." Shauna winks at me. She wraps her arm around my shoulder and leads me out of the store. I don't tell her I have no idea what she means.

* * *

 **A/N: HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE! From me and Bamberlee :) I hope you're all having as much fun as we are :)  
** **Sadly, postings will continue to be every other week until I can manage to catch up with writing. But** **I loved reading you guys thoughts about Emily and I can't wait to see what you all thought of this chapter! :)  
**


	37. Unbreakable Passion Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

 **TOBIAS**

It's a brand new week filled with brand new challenges. We're done with the physical part of our training and are now supposed to enter the mental part of it, although I have no idea what that actually entails. Whatever it is, it takes places in a whole different part of the Dauntless compound and doesn't require Will and Gendry's presence.

Zeke, Jax and Rhys lead us down a different set of tunnels in the underground compound. They bring us to a very large and dark room with a giant window in the back wall. Someone flips a switch and from the roof fluorescent lights start flickering on and off.

Rhys walks to the centre of the room and busies himself at a machine that looks a lot like the one used to administer the aptitude test. Jax flips a second switch, and the lights expose another large, empty room which stretches out beyond the window. There are cameras in each corner of it.

"This is the fear landscape room," Rhys announces without looking up. "A fear landscape is a simulation in which you confront your worst fears." He arranges a line of syringes on the table next to the machine before walking back over to us. The entire contraption looks sinister if you ask me.

"Here at Dauntless we consider the fear landscape to be a vital part of training," Zeke adds. "After you've exposed yourself to your greatest fear, the fear has no power over you. Dauntless is founded upon bravery, and you cannot be brave if you don't know how to conquer fear."

"How will you know what our worst fears are?" I ask Zeke.

"The serum," Caleb answers, although my question was obviously never directed to him. "It will stimulate the parts of the brain that process fear, and will trigger them to fabricate the simulation obstacles. In other words, we'll make them up ourselves."

"Will it be like the aptitude test?" Arthur, the youngest of us, asks with a shaking voice. I wonder since my Divergence makes me aware during simulations, like I was during the aptitude test and Uriah was during the attack, if it will give me some sort of advantage over the others in the fear landscape.

"Going into the simulation will be a lot like the aptitude test," Caleb answers again. "The only difference is you will be aware that what you are seeing isn't real." So I suppose it will be a level playing field then. Arthur lets out a relieved breath.

"Exactly," Zeke answers slowly, giving Caleb a strange eye. I'm curious too. I'd like to know how he knows so much about Dauntless serums after twelve weeks in Erudite.

"Zeke and I will be in the other room," Rhys adds. "We'll be controlling the simulation, and we get to tell the program embedded in the simulation serum to move on to the next obstacle once your heart rate drops to a normal level. In other words, once you've calmed down or faced your fear in a significant way. When you run out of fears, the program will terminate and you will wake up with a greater awareness of your own fears."

"Will you be able to see our fears?" Lennox asks, staring at the machinery in the other room.

Both Zeke and Rhys turn to look at Caleb, prompting him to answer. "Yes," he begins. "There's a transmitter in the serum which picks up the brain's electrical activity and transmits that to the computer, which then translates the hallucination into a simulated image that can be seen and monitored."

Everyone nods slowly, but I doubt they all understood what he just said.

"You," Rhys says, pointing to Caleb. "Since you know so much about it, you get to go first."

Caleb doesn't move an inch.

Rhys picks up one of the syringes and beckons to Caleb a second time; he appears to be frozen in place. It's a drastic shift of character considering how confident he was only a few minutes ago when he was quick to display his knowledge of the serum. But this is typical of Caleb; he has a head full of theory without the slightest ability or will to apply it.

Slowly, Caleb approaches, and Rhys plunges the needle almost savagely into the side of his neck. They leave Jax at the table of syringes, and Zeke and Rhys steer Caleb toward the next room. They leave him to stand in the middle of it, and then they both attach themselves to the simulation machine with electrodes. Zeke presses something on the computer screen to start the program.

At first, Caleb is still, his hands by his sides. He stares at us through the window, his eyes wide and pupils dilated. A moment later, though he hasn't moved, it looks like he's staring at something else, like the simulation has begun. Caleb suddenly begins to scream and thrash and cry, flinging his arms at nothing. His heart rate, recorded on the monitor in front of Zeke and Jax, rises and rises until his heart is beating so fast I fear it'll suddenly tire and stop.

He's not just afraid- he's terror-stricken. I think I understand why they made it so that everyone is aware during the fear landscape. Facing your worst fears one after the other without knowing it isn't real might be enough to kill a man.

I count the fears as Zeke passes them- fourteen, fifteen, sixteen. Sixteen fears. When Zeke taps the screen one last time, Caleb's body collapses and he screams out in panic, still unaware that the simulation has ended. Jax disconnects himself from the machine and goes to pick him up, slowly leading him back over to our side of the room. Caleb is barely outside when Rhys calls Arthur up next.

Lennox follows Arthur, then James and Theodore. For more than an hour I watch them face their fears, running and jumping and clawing their way out of some invisible trap. But the fears that intrigue me the most are the silent ones, the ones that leave them paralyzed or bring them to their knees, and in some cases, lying face down on the floor, sobbing. They all seem to have a number of fears, though not as many as Caleb, and I sit and wonder what things might Abnegation men be terrified of. To be honest, I can't think of many. I certainly can't think of sixteen.

I suppose I will soon find out, since Jax is practically carrying Theodore out the room, and urging Zeke to continue without him. It's a welcome surprise. It's not that I don't trust Jax, I'd just prefer if Zeke were the only one to get inside my head. I'm not sure what they'll see when they connect themselves to me.

"It's just me and you." Zeke says. "You ready?"

I lie with a nod. Having been aware in a simulation prior to this one might help keep me calm going in, but that's as far as I imagine my divergence being of any advantage to me; I have no idea what I'll see once I'm in there, or how I will react to it.

Zeke picks up the needle. It's much larger up close. "Come on, let's get this over with."

Standing in front of me, Zeke pushes the needle into my neck. Surprisingly, I barely feel it go in. I walk into the next room and face the window, which looks like a mirror on this side. In the moment before the simulation takes effect, I can see my reflection clearly. I stare at it; I've never looked like this before. I appear taller but it's only because I'm standing up straight and not slouching the way I always used to. I'm not skinny and buried in fabric; my body looks bigger, fortified with muscle. I'm surprised by the shadow of strength I see in myself right before the room disappears.

Images fill the space in pieces. The skyline of the city appears first, then the line of the ledge beneath my feet and the pavement seven stories below me. I'm on a building taller than all the others around it and I feel the full force of the wind as it pushes against me from all angles. Then the building grows with me on top of it, moving me farther away from the ground. The wind becomes even stronger, whipping my clothes so hard they snap.

I cringe away from the edge, something I'd do every time I looked out the windows of the higher floors of City Hall, but the wind won't let me move backward. My heart pounds harder and faster as I confront the reality of what I have to do; I can only move forward- I have to jump.

Knowing there will be pain when I slam into the ground, I shake out my hands, squeeze my eyes shut, and scream into my teeth. I jump, following the push of the wind, and I drop fast. Searing, white-hot pain rushes through me as I hit the ground, but it only lasts for a second. I stand up, wiping dust from my cheek, and wait for the next obstacle.

I have no idea what it will be and my heart races in anticipation.

Out of nowhere, something hits my back, hard. Then something hits my left side, then my right side, and I'm enclosed in a box large enough only for my body. Shock protects me from panic, at first, and then I breathe the close air and stare into the empty darkness. I feel my insides squeeze tighter and tighter.

I suddenly can't breathe anymore. I gasp at the air and take in nothing; the box is suffocating me. I try to think but I can't seem to grab hold of my mind. The wall against my back is too much like the one in my memories, from when I was young, shut in the darkness in the upstairs hallway as punishment. I was never sure when it would end, how many hours I would be stuck there with imaginary monsters creeping up on me in the dark, with the sound of my mother's sobs leaking through the walls.

I slam my hands against the wall in front of me, again and again, then I claw at it though the splinters stab the skin under my fingernails. I put up my forearms and hit the box with the full weight of my body, closing my eyes so I can pretend I'm not in here. I want to scream for someone to let me out, but the child in me knows the punishment for making a sound when I'm not supposed to.

That's when I go still. I remember that this is a simulation. Slowly, I gain control of my breaths and my thoughts. I think it through. What do I need to get out of this box? How did I escape the dark closet as a child?

A door, I think. I need a door.

Knowing there has to be a way out, I press my hands against the wall in front of me and I slide them down until I feel a knob. I grab it hard and turn it, pushing the door open as I do. All the walls fall to the ground around me as I step out into freedom.

Only I'm not free; my hands are tied in front of me as I walk into a room full of Abnegation. The crowd stretches as far back as I can see, far more of us than there are left, far more of us than I think there ever has been. There's a wooden podium standing in front of them and I walk up to it, not understanding at all what is happening. I can't be afraid of being their leader if that is what I already am.

I open my mouth to speak although I have no idea what I'm to say, but my lips become frozen when a cold finger is pressed against them. The room becomes as cold as winter and I turn to my right only to look and see my father's corpse, pale and blue and still bleeding from his abdomen. He stands there staring at me, his cold finger still pressed against my lips.

"What do you want from me?" I seethe at him, fighting to break my hands free. "Why are you here?"

"I want you to admit it," Marcus answers darkly. I shiver at the sound of his voice; it's his, only deeper and heavier. "You can never free them." He points to the crowd of Abnegation and when I turn to look at them they are all bound with their hands in front of them, just as I am. The people are still. They all look at us blankly, looking but not at all seeing.

"You're wrong," I say. "I will make things right again. I'll be a better leader than you ever were."

"But I am still their leader," Marcus smiles sinisterly at me.

"No," I growl at him. "You're gone. _I'm_ their leader now."

"No, you are not," Marcus shakes his head. " _I_ am. These people don't trust you, Tobias. They trust me. They expect you will be as great a leader as I was. Do you think they will continue to follow you after they've learned what I did? When they've lost faith in me, they will lose faith in you. They will abandon you."

"That's a lie!" I scream at him.

"You cannot save them!" The corpse of my father hits me, harder than he ever has, and I fall to the cold, hard, floor. I scurry on the floor for a second but I push myself back up, knowing that to get out of this fear I must defeat my father even after his death. He tries to push me back down but I'm stronger than him, I know I am, even with my hands tied. I plant my feet into the ground and I stand firm.

"I _will_ save them," I say strongly. "And you will never hurt any one of us ever again."

Marcus hisses at me as he grows larger and larger in front of me until he's a giant more than ten times my height. Angry, he looks down at me but I'm not afraid of him. So he grabs a woman who meekly stands in the front row. Picking her up to his face, she does nothing while he squeezes the life out of her. Knowing she won't fight back, I recognize I must free myself in order to save her. I must free myself so I can kill him.

Pulling my hands apart, the rope tears like paper between them and falls to the ground. I call a knife to my hand and, without thought, I throw it at him, aiming for the space between his eyes. The giant corpse falls to the ground and then vanishes.

The Abnegation, all now free, begin to disappear one by one until there's only one woman left.

Tris.

She and I stand alone in a large white space and she's smiling at me as I walk toward her. But I break into a run when I see a Dauntless soldier standing behind her. When he aims his gun at her, I run full speed, but instead of closer, she only seems farther away. I see his finger on the trigger and my heart races so hard it hurts.

"Tris!" I yell at the top of my lungs. "Turn around!" But she doesn't hear me.

I run faster, and my vision becomes blurred with tears because I already know what will happen. I already know that losing Tris is the worst thing that could ever happen to me.

The gunshot is loud and the bullet hits her from behind, piercing through the left side of her chest. Only then do I get to her, and I collapse in front of her, frantically taking her lifeless body into my arms.

"No!" I cry out into the empty space. I try to breathe but I can't seem to. It isn't real. It isn't real, I tell myself over and over again, but the pain in my chest is as real as it could ever be. I sob into her face, holding her body flush against me. Rubbing my hand over her hair, I press a kiss to her forehead and I watch her body disappear from my arms.

I let my arms fall to the ground, waiting for the next obstacle. My knuckles brush the stone floor, which is cold and grainy with dirt. I hear footsteps and brace myself for what's coming, but then I hear Zeke's voice say, "Is that really all there is? You are one special son of a bitch."

He stops next to me and offers me his hand. I take it and let him pull me to my feet. I don't look at him. I don't want to see his expression. He knows more about me now than I would have ever wanted to share and I wish he didn't.

"I don't believe it. Four fears," he says with amusement in his voice. "I definitely need to stop calling you 'Stiff'. You're more Dauntless than half my faction." At that I do look at him. He's smiling a little. I don't see any pity in his eyes, none at all. "But you _are_ Dauntless, aren't you?" Zeke asks, crossing his arms. "You're Divergent," he says casually.

"Yes," I have no fear to admit since Zeke's own brother is Divergent. Confused as to how he could have figured that out, I say, "I thought everyone was aware during the simulation."

"Everyone _is_ aware, but not everyone can manipulate the simulation the way you just did. You created a door and a knife just by thinking about it," he says. "Besides, I had figured as much; I've never met such a Dauntless Abnegation in my life."

"Is that why I only had four fears? Because I'm Divergent?"

"No," Zeke clarifies. "Manipulating the simulation will make your fears easier to deal with, so you'll get through them a lot faster than most people would, but it doesn't affect the number of fears you have. That's all you." We both begin to walk out of the fear landscape room when Zeke adds, "And most times the fears aren't to be taken literally, but I'd say yours are pretty straightforward."

"Could you do me the favour of keeping them to yourself?" I ask sounding a bit annoyed. To be honest it's only one in particular I'd rather no one ever knew: the fear that I'd never be able to save Abnegation, that my father ruined us forever.

"It's our secret," Zeke says with a wink, and then he pats me hard on the shoulder.

We walk out the same way we came in, only we don't turn down the tunnel that leads to the training area. "Where are we going?" I ask.

"The others aren't expecting us for at least another half hour. I'll just let the girls know we're done."

"You mean you just want an excuse to see Shauna," I tease under my breath.

Zeke laughs. "That may or may not be true."

The walk to the girls' training room is a familiar one, since Zeke's brought me with him once before. The only difference is back then I was certain Tris would have wanted to see me. I'm not so sure anymore; she spent the last two days barely speaking to me. Even yesterday, when we were given the day off, she chose to spend the entire day with Susan and Uriah in Dauntless.

I was miserable but I didn't back down. It's not that I'm hell-bent on training Emily- I'm not. I just don't want to encourage Tris to prolong a meaningless feud between them. At some point, she will have to accept that Emily is not a threat.

We push the door open and find the girls already finishing up their training for the morning. Will's in the room with them, his arm wrapped around one of the Dauntless girls- Christina, I think her name is. Shauna doesn't hesitate to walk over, smiling from ear to ear when she sees Zeke.

"You guys finished already?" she asks him after a kiss on the cheek. She slides her fingers between his.

Zeke nods. "You ever hear of anyone having only four fears in their fear landscape?" I immediately feel my shoulders sink. I could have sworn only five minutes ago he swore to not speak of my fears.

Shauna's eyebrows furrow. "No. Last I heard, the record was seven or eight. Why?"

Zeke doesn't say anything, but he gestures at me and wraps his free arm around me.

Shauna's eyes open wide and she freezes in front of us. "You're kidding," she asks, awestruck. When Zeke shakes his head she says, "Wow. Four."

Zeke grins at me. "Maybe that's what I'll call you. Four."

"That's pretty amazing," Shauna says with a genuine smile. "I hope my girls do well today too. Let me go tell them to get ready." She turns to walk away but Zeke holds her captive, only letting go of her hand after she's playfully tugged it away a million times. Jogging back the way she came, Shauna blows him a kiss and grins.

"Later, Babe," Zeke calls out to her. He smiles for at least another full minute.

I've come to really admire their relationship and how well they've been keeping things together even after their families fell apart. Zeke shared with me that Shauna's mother left with the traitor Dauntless and took their little brother with her; she's always been wary of Divergents and was a believer in Jeanine's rumours. She even taught her children that Divergents could not be trusted and pulled away from Uriah when he admitted to being Divergent, just after the attack. She even warned Shauna to stay away from Zeke when he chose to stand by his brother, but a few difficult conversations and sleepless nights later, she chose to stay with him. They've had real problems and still stand strong together, while Tris and I are here fighting over nonsense.

"How long have you two been together?"

Zeke, still smiling, answers, "About two years. You should ask _her_ though. She'd probably be able to tell you down to the last minute." He shakes his head and removes his arm from around me. "We've known each other our whole lives but I didn't even know she liked me until our initiation."

I nod. Maybe time is what makes the difference.

"And you? How long have you and Tris been married?"

"A little over 3 months," I say. "And we didn't really know each other long before that." I don't get into the details.

"Really?" Zeke raises an eyebrow at me. "And you two look like you've got it all figured out already. What's your secret?"

I scoff. If he only knew. "I think she might be mad at me." I look over at Tris who is obviously ignoring me. She's facing my direction, but pretending not to see me. I just wish she'd stop blowing this whole thing with Emily out of proportion. After what I just saw in my fear landscape, I want nothing more than to hold her, to kiss her.

"Yup. She is definitely mad at you." Zeke gives me an eye. "What'd you do?"

But before I can answer, the answer comes running up to me. She seems energetic and vibrant, her brown hair let down and hugging her face. "Tobias!" Emily says my name cheerily. "So I'll see you later?"

"Yeah, sure," I answer with nowhere near as much vigour as she.

"I'm up first for the fear landscape, so we can work out until the others are finished." With an excited grin, Emily takes off and follows Shauna and Lynn through the door.

I feel Zeke's eyes tearing into me. When I turn my head to look at him, the look on his face is one that demands an explanation. I feel guilty though I'm doing nothing wrong. "She asked me for help with her training," I tell him.

"And you agreed?"

I shrug.

"Just you and her?"

"Yes," I answer.

"Well no wonder Tris is mad at you," Zeke says, shaking his head at me. "Shauna would rip my head off if I tried some crazy shit like that, man."

"Tris has nothing to worry about. Emily is not important to me," I roll my eyes. I hate having to explain this yet again.

"That's not the point!" Zeke urges quietly. "When your girl is wary of a certain woman, you run. Doesn't matter if she's right or wrong. There is absolutely no way it'll end well for you." Zeke chuckles, actually he's laughing at me, and he pats me on the back before walking out of the training room with Will and Christina. Maybe he's right, but it shouldn't have to be like that. Tris is supposed to trust me enough to know I'd never let anyone come between us. I can't cut people out of my life just because she doesn't like or trust them; If I did, with how suspicious she's been of everyone, I wouldn't be talking to anyone.

Susan and Uriah walk out next with Tris close behind them. Not willing to let the morning go by without speaking to her, I gently take her arm when she tries to slide out the door. She looks at my hand wrapped around her elbow and then up at me. There's a look in her eyes- one of anticipation. I already know what she wants me to say, and given that I haven't been this close to her in a while, I'm almost tempted to.

"The fear landscape can be tough," I say instead. "Just breathe and you'll get through it."

"Thanks," she says, turning her eyes away from me. "Good luck today with your trainee." Tris pulls her arm back and walks away, leaving me standing alone in the training room.


	38. Unbreakable Passion Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

 **TRIS**

We're barely done with the fear landscape simulations when Christina comes running back to inform us of an emergency meeting. Something about Kade and an Erudite informant. Susan, still a little shook up from her fear landscape, walks close beside me as Shauna and Lynn lead us to wherever we're supposed to be meeting the others.

"You ok?" I ask carefully. The last thing I want is for Susan to think I'm pitying her. Shauna said I took nowhere near as much time as the others.

Once upon a time Susan would have smiled, nodded, and said 'of course', but today she only shakes her head at me. She keeps looking all around her as she walks and I can't help but wonder what she's looking out for; I can understand it though. As much as I knew the fear landscape wasn't real, I felt myself drowning, I felt the crows picking away at my skin, and even now I still feel the pain of watching Tobias and Caleb be taken away from me, leaving me alone in the world.

Shauna opens a door for us, and inside it are a small host of Dauntless, factionless, and a few Abnegation men. Theodore and Caleb are leaning up against the wall and the Dauntless men are chattering in a circle. Kade is there with the same woman from the first meeting we had- Lola.

Kade smiles at me then curiously looks around the room, probably wondering where Tobias is since all the others are already here. I suppose he's still with his new trainee, assuming they've even started to train at all. I'm sure she probably _needed_ him to comfort her after being "traumatized" by her fear landscape. I roll my eyes at the thought and try to not let the reality of it sour my mood even further.

Finding a piece of empty wall space beside Caleb, Susan and I press our backs to it. Lynn goes off on her own, Shauna goes to stand beside Zeke and Will brings a chair over to us. He takes a seat and puts Christina in his lap.

After hearing Christina talk about him non-stop over the past week, I finally met Will earlier today at training, before we started the fear landscapes. Since then he's been lurking around all morning. They seem to have an unending amount of affection for one another, always holding each other by the waist or kissing sloppily at the most random moment. Even now I want to throw up after having made the mistake of looking at them for more than five seconds; they're both stuck in each other's faces whispering God knows what.

I'm not sure how I feel about this level of intimacy in a public place. In Abnegation just holding hands for others to see was considered far enough. Beside me Susan giggles and whispers, "I used to think you could get pregnant by being so close to a man."

I begin to snicker, thinking the joke is just between us, but Will hears Susan and smiles kindly at us.

"Naw," he says. "You got to get a _little_ bit closer for that to happen." He wraps his arms even tighter around Christina making her giggle for the umpteenth time. "I'm Will by the way," he adds.

"We know," I say.

Turning back to look at Christina, Will asks, "You've been talking about me?"

"Do you even have to ask?" Christina replies with a short laugh. He should know she doesn't ever need an invitation to talk about anything.

When Will looks back over to us, I say, "This is Susan, and I'm-"

"Tris-" he interrupts. "I've heard a lot about you too."

"Really?" My brother interrupts rudely. I almost forgot he was standing beside me. "Now he's got _everybody_ calling you that?"

I ignore him the minute I realize what his problem is. At this point I'm not in the mood to deal with Caleb and his irrational jealousy over Tobias.

"Why are you such a sourpuss?" Christina says from Will's lap, eyeing Caleb up and down.

Caleb scowls but he doesn't answer.

All eyes turn toward the door when it opens one last time, and in walk the only two people we were waiting for- Tobias and Emily. I don't look at them. I stare at Kade instead, waiting for him to finally start this meeting. Whatever it's about, I'm sure it's more important than my husband's obliviousness.

I still don't completely trust Kade; I have yet to find out what he's hiding from us. Not like it would matter anyway. It's not like Tobias would actually listen to me.

"Attention everybody!" Kade finally calls out after loudly clearing his throat. "Now that we're all here, we have some news." When everyone quiets, he ushers Lola forward.

I had noticed how beautiful Lola was from the first time I saw her, but today she looks even more polished. Her cheeks are pink and her dark curls are tight and flawless. She seems much too refined for a factionless woman and I can't help but wonder exactly what her story is.

"For those of you who don't know me, my name is Lola," she begins. "I'm one of the leaders of the factionless and I happen to have been keeping a close eye on Erudite for some time now. I've also been paying special attention to Jeanine's plans as they pertain to this city and the people in it, which is how I can tell you that pretty soon you might not be safe here anymore."

Almost everyone gasps or murmurs to the person beside them. Christina straightens up in Will's lap.

"Is Jeanine coming after us?" Shauna asks.

"Let her come," Lynn cuts in from the corner before Lola can answer. "I'll cut her throat and watch her bleed out on the floor." A few Dauntless cheer at her nonsensical comment. Those of us with a bit more intelligence choose to roll our eyes.

"Well you're stupid if you think Jeanine would come after you herself," Lola bluntly answers. "But no. She isn't worrying about the remaining Dauntless just yet. However, she certainly will be after I tell you how to take those chips out." This catches everyone's attention, including mine.

"You know how to take them out?" Tori inputs. She makes her way forward to the middle of the room where Lola and Kade are standing.

Lola simply nods.

"But if we take them out, we'll need to act soon," Tobias says. "Right?"

"Definitely," Tori answers in Lola's place. "Jeanine's not onto us yet, but she won't turn a blind eye when she notices two hundred of her transmitters are offline. So we need to have a plan."

"We have to find a way to get the rest of the city on our side or she won't hesitate to wipe us out," Uriah says. Everyone nods or murmurs in agreement.

"Maybe if the other faction leaders were made aware of the truth, they wouldn't follow Jeanine," one of the factionless says.

"I would certainly hope so," Lola replies. "We absolutely need them to break ties with her. Jeanine has been polluting the minds of the leaders, making them believe Divergents took out the government as a means to dismantle the faction system. Both Amity and Candor have been handing over Divergents to Erudite."

"What's she doing with the Divergents?" Uriah asks strongly, suddenly standing up straight.

"I've recently found out she's experimenting on them," Lola says, and I feel my fingers go numb. "During the attack on Abnegation she realized her serum didn't work on Divergents. So she's looking to see if she can modify the serum so it'll work on everyone. If she's unsuccessful, her scientists have orders to carry out further studies to see if there's some sort of genetic link and if it can be cured."

"It's not a disease," I butt in loudly from my corner. I'm tired of people referring to divergence as if it were a malformation that needed fixing.

Lola looks at me and then eyes my brother curiously for a second. "I know that, Tris," she says. Lola is calm and inherently graceful. Just the way she speaks is enough to tranquilize a person. Unlike Lynn, who yells, "We can't let her get away with this!"

"And we won't," Kade says.

"So what's the plan?" Christina asks Lola.

"After we remove the transmitters, some of us are gonna have to head out to Candor and Amity. We expose Jeanine for who she really is, and only after we're absolutely sure we can trust them, we let them know Tobias is alive."

"Why would they need to know that? What's _he_ got to do with any of this?" Lynn asks with a sour face and she folds her arms like an angry child.

"Well if you knew anything about history and government laws you'd know that Abnegation was chosen by the founding fathers as the governing faction," Lola insults Lynn ever so elegantly. "Every member of the elected Abnegation council represents the government, which means that by right, Tobias should be leader of this city, not Jeanine."

Aside from Caleb's discreet scoff, the room is quiet. I know what Caleb's problem is but I don't understand the others; this shouldn't come as a surprise to them. It's not far-fetched to believe that governing should be given back to Abnegation after this is all over. Besides, everyone in this room knows the rumours Jeanine spread about Abnegation's poor leadership were false; The Abnegation have never been incompetent, only spineless.

Breaking the silence, Kade says, "When the other faction leaders are made aware of Tobias' survival, by law they are obligated to abandon Jeanine's regime."

"And after we've got their support," Lola continues, "A small team of us will have to break into Erudite. We'll have to deactivate her army. Since we can't do it manually, we'll have to find a way to do it from the inside."

"Like a total system shutdown," someone suggests.

"Exactly."

"But why?" Christina asks. "Aren't the traitor Dauntless acting on their own now?"

"For now," Lola nods. "But Jeanine hates variables. She'll want to eliminate the inconvenience of free will. And as long as she has a mass scale mind control technology, no one in this city is safe."

"Something like that should not exist," Christina murmurs softly, shaking her head.

"I agree," Lola says. "After we've destroyed it, the rest of us can move in on Erudite. We can arrest Jeanine and give everyone else a choice. Anyone who chooses to oppose new leadership can suffer the same fate as Jeanine." Lola looks around the room. "Anyone object?"

No one does. Instead, many of the Dauntless are looking at Tobias and nodding their heads. I suppose their doubts have now vanished. I can't imagine what he's done in the past eight days to make them go from not trusting him to respecting him. Maybe they finally see the strong and wise leader I've always seen. I wish _that_ Tobias would come back to me.

"How are you so sure the Candor will help us?" Susan asks. "What if they're too brainwashed by Jeanine to listen to anything we say?"

"Believe me. I am the _last_ person in this city who wants to ask Jack Kang for help," Lola answers. "But we really don't have a choice. We need them to join us."

Susan nods.

"We move in groups of 6," Kade dictates. "Lola and I will head out to Candor. We'll try and get Jack to confirm Tobias' status to the Amity. Any volunteers to come with us?"

"I can go to Candor," Christina offers.

"I'll go with you," Will says. "Count me in."

"Me too," Uriah raises his hand.

"That's five. Anyone else for Candor?"

For some reason, I raise my hand. "I'll go," I say.

Maybe getting away is exactly what I need to do. I can't stay here and watch Tobias actively disregard my feelings. Just watching him stand beside Emily instead of me makes my stomach turn. I can't even bear to look at him right now.

"No," Tobias doesn't hesitate to cut in. "It's not safe for you. Someone might recognize you."

I scoff. "So what if they do? I'm not a councillor. I'm not worth anything to Jeanine."

"You're worth something to _me_. And I said you're not going," Tobias says forcefully.

The room is so quiet you could hear a pin drop, and I'm so flabbergasted I'm left with my mouth open. How dare he try to dictate what I can and can't do, while doing whatever the hell he wants regardless of how I feel about it?

Furious, I lean up off the wall and I'm about to deliver a paragraph of choice words to him when Tori cuts me off.

"Tobias is right, Tris," she says. "Anything that could prematurely lead back to him is a risk. You'll stay here. I can go in your place."

Susan puts a hand on my shoulder and squeezes. She doesn't let go until I lean back into the wall beside her. I look over at my brother who surprisingly didn't rush to my aid, most likely because he agrees with Tobias. If it were up to Caleb I'd be locked away in a dungeon somewhere.

Fuming, I stay quiet for the rest of the meeting. I keep my arms folded across my chest and my eyes off of Tobias.

When Shauna, Zeke, Susan, Rhys, Theodore and Lennox all volunteer to go to Amity, Lola concludes, "So it's decided then. We take out the transmitters first thing tomorrow morning and then we head out to Candor and Amity."

I don't wait until we're dismissed to get out of the room. I storm right past Tobias and Emily, wanting to be as far away from them as possible. Susan follows me, calling out to me as I run blindly down the hallways. I only stop when I can admit to myself that I'm lost.

Catching up to me, Susan grabs me by the arm. "Come with me, Tris," she demands. Not having much of a choice, I follow Susan as she leads me through the residential area of the Dauntless compound. After living here for only a few days, she seems to have the place memorized.

With a forceful tug, Susan pulls me around a corner, her hair swinging back and forth from her ponytail. I never thought I'd see her this way, strong and confident and with the ends of her hair exposed. She looks prettier this way.

Stopping in front of a room with the numbers 423 on it, Susan removes a key from her pocket and opens the door. She ushers me in and I can't stop myself from looking around with curiosity. The Dauntless apartments are nothing like Abnegation houses. The walls are decorated with abstract paintings and there are a few random signs hanging in the living room. The biggest one catches my attention; it reads, " _Everything you want is on the other side of fear_."

"It took me a while to get used to," Susan says to me. "There are a lot of… _things_ in here."

I nod and continue to look around. Ever Abnegation, Susan pours me a glass of water and places it in my hand. I take a seat in the couch and quietly she sits beside me.

There has never been a time when I've appreciated Susan the way I do now. As nice as Shauna and Christina can be, Susan understands the grey parts of me in a way they never could. As different as we once were, that's no longer the case. Seeing the violence we did, losing our families, trading in the peaceful life of our grey clothes for dangerous black ones as a means to survive, I don't believe there's another woman in this city who could relate to me the way she can.

"You want to talk about it?" Susan asks after a while.

Without answering her question, I blurt out, "I can't believe he did that! He just publicly humiliated me!"

Susan sighs. "I think he just wants to protect you, Tris. Who knows what's going on out there?" Yet _she's_ going with the others to Amity. For a second I envy her, not having anyone to tell her what to do. It's very stupid of me considering how it came to be that way.

"Why does everything have to be about what _he_ wants? What about how _I_ feel?" The words feel vile coming out of my mouth and I feel the tears build up behind my eyes. My mother would have chastised me like she never had if she had lived to ever hear me speak those words.

"Why do I get the feeling there's more going on here?" Picking up both her legs and crossing them in front of her, Susan sits to face me.

"We had a disagreement... about Emily," I confess. "I hate that she's even relevant. And I've told him how I feel about it and he chose to disregard that because he can't see what's right in front of him."

Susan nods as though she somehow understands. "Men," she begins. "They see things differently."

I immediately give her an eye. I don't mean to judge, but I doubt Susan knows anything at all about the opposite sex. She can barely talk to Caleb without blushing.

"My brother," she smiles, though I imagine it must pain her to talk about Robert. "We used to talk a lot. I never understood the way Robert saw the world. Many times I'd wonder if we were looking at the same thing."

"I feel that way sometimes about Caleb." All the time really. "What's going on with you two anyway?" I take the opportunity to ask.

Susan shrugs her shoulders. "He's not the same anymore," she says. I imagine he isn't, but that's because he doesn't have to pretend anymore. Old, quiet, perfectly selfless Caleb finally got a taste of Erudite arrogance. "But he still comes around every once in a while and we talk. I guess that means something. I don't know."

I don't either. I can't ever tell what my brother is thinking. But he needs to figure it out. Susan deserves better than someone who isn't sure if he wants to be with her or not.

"I see you and Uriah spending a lot of time together," I say suggestively.

Susan smiles coyly at her feet. "He's really nice. I like him. He's funny and a bit crazy sometimes," she blushes.

"And he's full of muscles and really good at fighting and shooting guns," I add with a knowing smile.

"That too," Susan giggles. "I'm just not sure if I want to go there. I mean… he's probably still thinking about Marlene a lot."

"Probably," I say. "You never really know what they're thinking, do you?"

Susan laughs. "No. Did you know my brother had the biggest crush on you?"

I nod. I did. It was hard to miss, the way he'd shyly follow me around and blush every time I caught him staring. He offered to walk me home so many times I lost count.

"He knew you didn't feel the same way. He was still devastated when you married Tobias though."

"I'm sure he stood alone," I say only half joking. Robert must have been the only man in Abnegation who had eyes for me.

"I doubt that," Susan says. "I've always admired you, Tris, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. You've always been different and not afraid to be different. I always wished I was as strong and confident as you."

"But Susan, you're perfect," I say sincerely. "I don't think I've ever met a more genuine person in my life." She's got it all backward; the Abnegation didn't admire my strong headedness. They were far more likely to admire someone like _her_ , someone perfectly unselfish. I know _I_ certainly did.

"But I don't know who I am, Tris. You do. I don't know if I am the way I am because it's all I know or if it's because deep down that's who I am. Abnegation teaches us to forget self, but I never knew myself."

How ironic that I admired her selflessness the way she admired my selfishness.

Just as I gently place a hand on Susan's leg, there's a knock at the door. Letting out a soft sigh, she stands to get it. I actually expect to see Caleb, but when Susan opens the door, Tobias is standing there with the most distraught look on his face. I'd pretend I weren't here if he wasn't staring straight at me.

"I'll leave you two alone," Susan stammers, and she walks away from the door. I quickly walk up to it before Tobias can step inside.

"What do you want?" I ask him, my hand forcefully gripping the doorknob. I look him in the eye and in that moment I realize just how hurt I am. My chest feels heavy and I feel the tears behind my eyes again. I push them back.

"Tris, please come home."

"I'm staying with Susan tonight." My answer is quick. I put no thought into it. It might be unreasonable, but I don't think it is. He's made his decisions today and I've made mine.

"Don't do this." Tobias' eyes are sincere and pleading but I don't give in to them. I don't want to.

I bite my lip from frustration and hurt and anger.

"Why shouldn't I?" I rebut. "Because you say so? Funny, because you don't listen to a word _I_ say."

"Tris-" he begins, but I can't hear it. My heart and my body and my mind are in the worst tug of war. My thoughts and feelings threaten to rip me open from the inside out. They pull so hard that even just standing here in front of him I feel like I might explode.

"Goodbye, Tobias," I say before I'm no longer strong enough to stand by my own words or form a coherent sentence, and though it breaks every piece of my heart, I close the door between us.

* * *

 **A/N: Try not to hate me for ending the chapter like this lol** **Please let me know what u guys thought of it. Huge t** **hanks to all those who continue to support this story! And thank you to Bamberlee for being eternally amazing! :D**


	39. Unbreakable Passion Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

 **TOBIAS**

I realize my mistake the second the words are out of my mouth, and I know I've just made things a whole lot worse between me and Tris. Of course, I never meant to undermine or embarrass her, but my blood is still warm and my heart is still racing from watching her die in my fear landscape and I'll be damned if I let her do anything that would put her in harm's way.

I try to stop her on her way out when the meeting's over, but Tris storms right past me and through the door. As much as I'd want to just grab her by the arm and make her talk to me, I know she'd only resist. Still, pushing everyone out of my way, I chase after her.

"Tobias! Wait!" Emily yells behind me. I ignore her like I should have the first time we spoke. There is nothing she could ever want that could be more important to me than my wife. Emily runs behind me, but I lose her just as easily as Tris lost me. The Dauntless tunnels are a maze if you don't know where you're going.

I call out to her over and over again with no answer. So, after running around aimlessly with no sign of Tris for about half an hour, I figure it would make more sense to look for her in the most likely place- Susan's apartment.

I arrive at the door a breathless mess but I don't wait to pull myself together before I knock. I've never felt so desperate for anything in my life. I've never felt more ruined than the moment when Tris ran through that door, away from _me_.

My hand is mid-air when the door creaks open, revealing a wide-eyed Susan staring at me. Behind her, Tris is seated in the couch. It feels like my heart stops when our eyes meet. Before I can say anything or ask to speak to Tris, Susan lets go of the doorknob and quietly steps away from the door. "I'll leave you two alone," she says.

Tris replaces Susan in a second. She stands in the doorway, making sure I know I'm to stay outside. Her eyes are cold and fierce, but my heart breaks when I see the hurt behind them- the hurt _I_ put there.

"What do you want?" She asks almost harshly.

"Tris, please come home," I say. Maybe I should have started with apologizing for what I just did, but more than anything else right now I feel the pain of the increasing distance between us and I wholly want it to stop.

"I'm staying with Susan tonight," Tris answers calmly, but her words sting as if they were daggers being thrown at me.

"Don't do this," I plead.

"Why shouldn't I?" she snarls. "Because you say so? Funny, because you don't listen to a word _I_ say."

"Tris-"

"Goodbye, Tobias," she cuts me off, closing the door in my face.

I slam my hand against it, knocking over and over again. "Tris!" I call out many more times than I should, knowing but refusing to accept she wants to be left alone. "Tris, please open the door." She doesn't, but refusing to give up, I yell, "I'm not leaving until you talk to me, Tris!" And I stand in front of Susan's apartment for an incalculable amount of time.

When my legs tire I take a seat, leaning up on the wall across from the door. I'm sure I've sat there for a few hours when I hear a pair of loud footsteps coming down the hall. They slow down as they get closer to me, and I'm sure I roll my eyes when a certain face comes into view.

Caleb shoots me a short glance, but he doesn't say anything to me. Instead he just walks up to the door, knocks, and pretends like I'm not sitting on the floor behind him.

"What? No stupid comment?" I snap at him, though he's doing exactly what I asked him to- which is to not interfere in our business.

"What for?" Caleb says after a scoff. "I don't want her going to Candor either." Then he knocks on the door again. I shake my head at him.

"You might want to let them know it's you," I say, already bored of watching him knock.

Caleb spins around and gives me a curious glance, then he yells, "Susan, open up! It's me."

No more than five seconds later, the door creaks open. Susan is the one to open it, and she invites Caleb inside. When she sees me sitting there, she gives me a shy smile and mouths an apology. She has nothing to apologize for.

I shake my head. "Could you just please tell Tris that I'm sorry?"

Susan nods, and she says goodnight before closing the door.

I stand to my feet though I'm not sure where to go from here. I can't go home. I won't go home without Tris. But desperate to see her and hold her, I return to the last place where she was in my arms. I spend the night in the fear landscape room.

* * *

I awake too early and I quickly find myself desperate for distraction. Following the commotion I hear outside in the halls, I push myself up from the hard floor and make my way to the door.

Outside I see a loud string of Dauntless, all walking toward the same direction. I close the door behind me, then clinging to the wall, I walk quickly beside them, trying to get ahead of the pack. After I've passed about a hundred people, I can see the end of the line standing in front of one of the small shops in The Pit.

I climb up the stone stairway and I'm about to walk in the shop when a giant of a man grabs me by the shirt. "You're gonna have to wait your turn like everybody else," he says. His voice is so deep it rumbles, and his arms are about five times the size of mine.

As much as I've learned in the past week, I'm not stupid enough to think I could actually take him in a fight. So I just nod and straighten my shirt when he lets me go, deciding I'll have to find a less obvious way to figure out what's going on in there.

"It's cool, Jag!" A woman shouts. "Let him in!"

The man nods but he huffs at me before stepping out of my way.

Curious, I step into the dark shop and walk toward the only source of light I see. There's a ton of artwork on the walls, and the back of the room is lined with large mirrors. In front of the mirrors are what appear to be stations, made up of a small table filled with strange equipment and a comfy chair.

To my surprise, Tori and Lola are both sitting at one of the stations. Tori doesn't acknowledge me, but Lola smiles. Sitting in the chair in front of them is a Dauntless woman who has her right sleeve pushed down, exposing her shoulder. Lola has a magnet in her hand and Tori holds what looks like an electronic pen and a small blade.

"Come have a look," Lola says to me. She eyes me up and down for a second, probably realizing I'm wearing the same clothes from yesterday.

When I walk closer, I see the bump in the woman's shoulder, the transmitter beneath it. I realize this is where they're taking them out. After the meeting I never bothered to find out how they were going to do this because I was so caught up in finding Tris. And after I found her it was hard to care about much of anything.

"How does it work?" I ask.

"Well," Lola answers. "The magnet disrupts the signal for a while, giving us time to access and manipulate the transmitter without alarming the Erudite computers. Tori's making a small incision to expose the transmitter, then using the tattoo needle, she infiltrates it with a special ink I designed. It deactivates the transmitter permanently, but leaves it online, giving the illusion that it's still embedded in the host. After the ink sets, we can take out the transmitter without Erudite being the wiser."

"How do you know it's working?"

"Because they haven't activated the others." Lola points at a small bin beside the chair, filled with at least fifty tiny metal balls. The chip is smaller than you would think, smooth and perfectly round.

Using a tweezer, Tori pulls the transmitter out of the woman's flesh and throws it into the bin. It clinks when it hits the others.

"You're good," Tori tells the woman. "Just cover it with gauze for a day or two."

Nodding, the woman pulls up her sleeve and stands up out of the chair.

"Send in the next one, Jag!" Tori yells as the woman walks out.

"The whole process takes about two minutes," Lola explains. "And that would be great time if we didn't have two hundred of these to take out."

"Why isn't there anyone else helping you?" I ask. "I'm sure the others wouldn't mind chipping in."

"No," Lola shakes her head. "We can't afford mistakes. One wrong move and the Erudite will storm this place."

The process doesn't seem too difficult, but I do understand.

Tori opens up a new blade as another man walks in. He removes his shirt and sits in the chair like they're not about to cut open his skin. But when I look at the artwork on his body, I completely get why blades and needles don't make him nervous. His chest is a canvas with not even an inch of skin without ink. The largest image on his chest is that of a little girl with fiery hair and the name Sierra tattooed beneath it. To the left of his chest are an assortment of tribal drawings and Dauntless flames. Strangely enough, the tenderness of the girl's image transitions flawlessly into the more virile drawings on the other side of his chest.

"You like?" Tori speaks to me for the first time since I came in. She must have caught me staring.

I clear my throat. "It's nice," I say.

"Most of the artwork you're gonna see today is actually mine," she answers. "This is my place. I do tattoos. Well… I did. Before…" she shrugs. "You know."

"Oh?"

"Mmhmm," Tori simply says, rubbing her fingers over the bump in the man's skin. Lola picks up the magnet as Tori reaches for the blade. "You should get one," she adds.

I chuckle in disbelief. "You think so?"

"Yeah. If you can't think of anything I can take you around back when we're done here. See what you like. In fact, I think you should all get tattoos when you're done with your training. Like a symbol of some sort. Zeke says you're doing well, _Four_ ," she stresses the nickname with a smirk. "Sounds to me like you deserve a Dauntless mark."

Tori smiles a little as she injects the ink into the transmitter. The man holds perfectly still.

"I'll think about it," I say. To be honest I think it would be an insult to say no. All of the Dauntless are marked; ink is a way of life for them. And by inviting us to mark our skin, they are inviting us to become a part of them.

Throwing the transmitter into the bin, Tori stands to her feet. "I need a break," she says, ushering the man outside, and she yells at Jag to hold off on the next one for a few minutes. She stretches her arms and walks into a room at the back. By the look of the bin, they've been here quite a while.

Lola sets the magnet on the table and rests her chin in her palms. "What's your secret?"

"Huh?"

"I've heard she doesn't take to people so quickly. She's barely said three words to me since I met her."

I shrug. "I don't know." Like Kade said, Tori seems to have her own reservations, but to me it's always seemed like she was willing to work with us, even when the others weren't.

"Maybe she senses the Dauntless in you," Lola says with a quiet laugh. "It was quite obvious yesterday if you ask me. Dauntless men are known to be a bit… assertive."

Realizing she's talking about the way I spoke to Tris yesterday at the meeting, I immediately become defensive, though I have no defence. Not one I'm willing to share anyway. "Listen, I don't-"

Lola holds up a hand. "Not my business," she shakes her head. "What I do want to know is what's the story with her brother. I could have sworn I saw him in Erudite."

"He _was_ ," I nod. "He left shortly after initiation, when he found out what Jeanine was planning."

Lola gives me a peculiar glance before biting her bottom lip. "Do you trust him?" she asks. I presume she's insinuating that Caleb might still be working with the Erudite. Honestly, the thought never crossed my mind.

"No, I don't." I say. "But I don't think he's a traitor. Just an idiot." As senseless as he is, Caleb loved his parents and he loves Tris the only way he knows how. I don't believe he could ever stand behind the people responsible for tearing his family in half. Maybe _I'm_ the idiot; Caleb wasn't even willing to let _me_ get between him and Tris, and here I am letting someone as unimportant as Emily get between us and then making it worse by yelling at her in front of everyone.

"Excuse me," I say to Lola, and I turn to leave the room. Feeling frustrated with my own self, I decide it's time for another distraction. I only need to keep myself busy until midday since that's when the others head out to Candor and Amity. After that, Tris will be alone and it might be easier to get her to talk to me.

Again, I take the stairway and walk past the long string of Dauntless then head toward the main tunnel. I almost get lost but I eventually find the girls' training room. I prefer it. Instead of the rubber men they have punching bags hanging from the ceiling. They're easier to train with and impossible to knock over. They also have real targets instead of coloured circles painted on the walls, and in the corner there is everything you would ever need, from bullets to bandages.

Luckily, it's empty since I imagine the girls are getting ready to leave later. I grab two of the elastic bandages and wrap them around my knuckles. I loosen my arms a bit as I walk over to the punching bag and let out a deep breath.

I feel tense in the worst way. I feel like I can't escape from it even inside my own mind, since all I can seem to think about is Tris and that she won't speak to me because I'm an idiot.

I take it out on the bag, hitting it with fury. It swings back and forth as I punch and kick at it as if it were my own stupidity hanging from the ceiling. I think about the pain in her eyes and I hit even harder. I promised I'd never hurt her, but the ugliness inside me was so quick to lash out at her.

Angry, I kick at the bag with a scream as every hope I'd had that there was nothing of my father in me dies.

"You want to talk about it?"

I freeze when I hear the sound of her voice. To be honest, I don't know if it upsets me or terrifies me. Emily places a hand on my arm and I turn around and pull back, not wanting to be so close to her that I can see the ring of lighter brown around her pupils.

"Not necessarily."

"Well, can I train with you? I can go grab my stuff real quick."

"No," I say insistently. "I'm sorry. I know I said I'd help with your training, but I really can't."

"Oh," Emily sighs. She stuffs both hands in the pockets of her dark jeans. It appears she's become quite comfortable wearing Dauntless clothes even when she doesn't have to.

She stands in front me not really sure what to say, but truthfully I would rather she say nothing at all. Looking at her, I finally understand what Zeke meant. In the end it doesn't matter if Tris is right or wrong about Emily. What matters is that Tris is hurt and I'm tired of being without her. I certainly made it worse by being a jerk at the meeting, but me ignoring her feelings about Emily is where it all went wrong. It's where _I_ went wrong.

I intend to fix it. I can't handle the distance between us anymore. I try to remember the last time I kissed her and I can't. Her absence stings.

"It's because of Beatrice isn't it?" Emily says after a short while.

It really is, and training her is certainly not worth having Tris be mad at me, but even _I_ know it would be unwise to admit that to her. When I don't answer, she slides a little bit closer to me.

"Tobias, it's ok. You've always been noble; it's one of the reasons I like you so much. But Abnegation doesn't really exist anymore, and _you_ make the rules now. You don't have to be with her if you don't want to."

"What?" I say disgruntledly and I take another step away from her. "What are you talking about?"

"I know you guys are fighting. Well… after yesterday, everyone knows," Emily says with a small smirk. "You shouldn't feel bad about it. You were attracted to her because you had to be. Now that you're not obligated to her anymore, things are gonna start to fall apart… naturally."

I'm too shocked to even speak but my legs still work and I take yet another step back.

But Emily steps forward insistently. "It's ok, Tobias. I know," she urges. "I picked up on a lot while working for your father. I know the marriage wasn't your choice. And don't think I didn't notice the way you were looking at me that night you and Beatrice came over for dinner," she says with a small laugh.

I scoff and gasp in the same breath. "Emily, I don't know what you think you know about me and Tris. But we're not together because we have to be. I love my wife," I quickly and sternly correct her.

Strangely, Emily smiles at me as she takes another step closer. She's not much shorter than me, not like Tris is, and her face is very close to mine when she says, "That's because you've never tried anything else." When she leans forward and tries to kiss me I panic and grab her shoulders maybe a bit too hard; I push her at arm's length.

"Emily, what is wrong with you?" I ask her forcefully.

This seems to upset her, and all of a sudden Emily's entire demeanour changes. Her face of innocence and understanding morphs into one of absolute infuriation. "You have to know she's wrong for you!" she cries out and I'm left frozen with shock.

"Emily… I think it's best you leave," I say somewhat softly. Hitting like two tons of bricks crashing onto my head is the thought that Tris was right about her this whole time.

"No! Stay right there you delusional bitch!" someone yells, and my heart almost skips a beat when I realize it's Susan. She comes walking quickly toward us with Uriah close behind her, trying to pull her to a stop.

" _Excuse me_?" Emily squeals.

"You are so far out of line, Emily," Susan snarls. "I think you're letting the Dauntless rub off on you a little bit too much. You should know better than to throw yourself at someone else's husband. It's pathetic!"

Emily scoffs loudly. "Listen, I don't know what Beatrice has told you, but I know what really happened between them."

"Her name's Tris," Susan corrects curtly. "And arranged or not, Tobias doesn't want you. He loves _her_. Or did you not hear him the first time? Would you like him to repeat himself?"

Emily's mouth gapes open in shock, but realizing she's lost, she storms off without saying another word.

Not knowing what to do or say, I stare at Susan in disbelief. For the first time ever, I see her with her hair down, all dressed in black and with an attitude to match. It's like she's a whole different person. But Susan doesn't even look at me. She's probably mad at me too.

It's not until Emily clears the room that Susan decides to roll her eyes at me and leave. In silence, both Uriah and I are left staring at her as she walks through the training room door, only Uriah is smiling crookedly and my mouth is hanging open.


	40. Unbreakable Passion Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

 **TRIS**

The knife crashes into the board with a vengeful force; any harder and it would shatter into a million pieces. I pick up another and send it flying behind the first one. It pierces the target only mere millimetres away from the centre.

I didn't expect to find myself here today. I've been wanting a break from training since the day I started. But I had no idea what to do with myself after Susan found me and told me what she had happened upon while taking a walk around the compound with Uriah.

It had proven to be a morning full of surprises- some frightening, some unpleasant. Susan was finally starting to realize my brother was a waste of her time and had decided to give in to her feelings for Uriah. Then she stunned me again when she barged into her apartment with undiluted rage; I never thought I would live to see a livid Susan Black. And I almost couldn't believe what she told me she had told Emily. I probably wouldn't have if Uriah weren't nodding behind her.

But the biggest bombshell of all is that Emily had actually done it, she had shamelessly made it perfectly clear what her intentions were with Tobias- with _my_ husband.

I don't know why but I immediately ran to the training room after Susan told me; I don't know what I was hoping to find. Both Tobias and Emily had already left by the time I got here, but what would I have said to them if they hadn't? I probably wouldn't have exchanged words with Emily, but rather I'd be sending knives after _her_ instead of this target.

Maybe it's in my best interest that she's not here.

My hands tremble from rage and adrenaline, fear and hurt. They're only steady when I fix myself to throw the knives, and only when the blade slams into the target do I feel like I have any sort of control over anything in my life.

I was right about Emily. I was right this whole time. But deep down I know what perturbs me most is that Tobias didn't believe me, that I couldn't stop this from unfolding. And to make matters worse, because of Tobias I'm stuck being useless at Dauntless with the both of them, since the others are heading out to Candor and Amity after they're done taking out the transmitters.

After running out of knives, I walk up to the target to collect them and then I begin again.

I'm about to start throwing my third round of knives when I hear his footsteps. I'd recognize them anywhere, slow and even, though today they're shakier than usual. He's hesitant. He should be.

Ignoring the nagging feeling that Tobias is staring at me, I throw the knife. It spins end over end, slamming into the board.

"You're very good at that," he says. His voice is deep and soft and it gives me goose bumps.

I don't answer him. I juggle the second knife in my hand for a while before I send it after the target.

"We should talk," he says after about a minute of silence.

"Fine. Talk," I say, but I don't look at him. Just being this close to him hurts and I almost feel like I resent him for it. Since the attack, Tobias' arms have been my refuge, my safe place. The thought of him gave me strength and hope and a reason to keep going, but now he's tainted it. Now I feel like I have nothing. Nowhere is safe anymore.

Tobias lets out a breath and quietly says, "I'm sorry, Tris."

"For what exactly?" I scoff and demand an elaboration. His apology is upsetting although it _is_ what I wanted to hear; I don't feel like it's enough. And after all he's done in the past few days, I can't assume to know exactly what he's apologizing for.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Tobias shake his head. "I know Susan told you what happened."

I raise my eyebrows, but again I don't answer. I don't even nod. I don't want his apology if he can't even say out loud what he's sorry for. I've always tried to be understanding of Tobias' reluctance to communicate, and many times I've been satisfied with less words than I would have preferred. This isn't going to be one of those times.

"Were you gonna tell me?" I ask lowly, staring at the target with my arms hanging at my sides. "If Susan hadn't, were you going to tell me?"

He takes a step closer to me. "Yes," he says. "I'm sorry I didn't believe you. I really didn't think-"

"No you didn't," I cut him off. "You didn't think at all." My voice breaks and I grab my bottom lip between my teeth.

I always thought that of all people, your partner should be the one you can trust to never betray you, but it shows how very little I know. Susan, and even Shauna who is a stranger still, have been more loyal to me than my own husband. And then I feel it again, that lingering feeling that Tobias would have fallen in love all on his own and married someone else if his father hadn't shoved me in his face.

It hurts and I can't stop the tears from clouding my vision. And it hurts more the longer he just stands there staring at me.

"What do you want, Tobias?" I choke out.

"I want you to come home, Tris," he says pleadingly. "I miss you."

A tear rolls down my cheek because I miss him too. I didn't sleep at all; I just stared at the indistinctly shaped shadows on Susan's walls until the sun rose. But not giving in to him I say, "I don't think I should. I just need to be alone for a while, clear my head."

Tobias runs a hand through his hair and with his voice laced with frustration he says, "You really think pushing me away is going to help, Tris? Come home and we can talk about this."

Ironically, his frustration frustrates me. What does _he_ have to be upset about? And why does he seem to think he can demand a conversation out of me so soon after hurting me?

"What's the point?" I counter snappily. "What's the point of being honest with each other if you're not going to listen to me anyway? You're just gonna do whatever it is that _you_ want to do."

"That's not true!"

I throw the last knife with every bit of strength I have before I finally turn to look at him. "Isn't it?" I cry out. "Thank God Susan was there or who knows what else would have happened!"

"Nothing would have happened, Tris!" Tobias almost shouts. "Didn't Susan tell you what I told Emily after she came on to me?"

"She did, but that's not the point! It should never have come to that, Tobias."

"I can't control what other people do and don't do, Tris."

I scoff so many times it almost sounds like a sick laugh. "Why do you think she came on to you in the first place? Don't pretend like you didn't encourage her, and give her reason to think she had a fighting chance. She surely didn't forget the way you were looking at her that night we had dinner at their house. Or did you forget she said that?" I scream out angrily.

"You can't seriously be holding that against me." Tobias almost turns red. "Things were different then, Tris. We both did things we probably shouldn't have."

He might be right. Back then, when we had just gotten married, we would have done anything if we knew it would upset the other. But it doesn't change the fact that he continued to condone her long after that night.

"I _don't_ hold that against you," I clarify. "What I do hold against you is the fact that you had multiple opportunities to set her straight and you waited until the last minute."

"I didn't know what she was doing, Tris," Tobias says with a voice full of emotion. "I swear I didn't. I gave her the benefit of the doubt. I was wrong and I'm sorry. But nothing would have ever happened. I told you, you can trust me," he says with a much softer tone and pleading eyes. I can tell he's sincere and after everything Shauna's told me I'm beginning to think that the ability to somehow always miss the point is an ever present quality in men.

"Tobias…" I begin exasperatedly. "I've trusted you more times than I can count. How many times have you trusted _me_?"

"That's unfair," he says, shaking his head. "Tris, I have told you things that I have never told anyone else."

"And what else?" I ask.

Confused, Tobias opens his mouth to speak and I wait for it, but he says nothing.

"You trust me with your secrets," I almost whisper. "But I've trusted you with my life, my heart, the future of our faction. What's unfair is that I trust you with so much yet you find it hard to believe me when I tell you someone is up to no good. Don't tell me you didn't know what she was doing. I _told_ you what she was doing!"

Tobias sighs. "I won't always agree with you, Tris."

"I don't expect you to," I counter. "But what you did was disregard me, not disagree with me. You chose to dismiss what I said knowing how I felt about Emily. You say she's not important yet you chose her over me. All because- and this is the worst part, Tobias- all because you thought I was being petty and jealous and paranoid. Do you know how that made me feel? Like you saw me as just some silly, irrational little girl."

"I would never call you silly or petty, Tris," he says sternly.

"You didn't have to call me anything!" I say just as strongly. "You think what you did at that meeting yesterday was ok? I would have _never_ done something like that to you!"

"No, it wasn't ok, Tris," Tobias says quickly, his voice rough. "It's just that-"

"It's just that you don't respect me as much as you say you do," I cut him off again. "When it comes down to it, you still treat me like I can't do anything- like I'm weak and I'll break, and I can't think rationally because I'm hurting. And I _am_ hurting, Tobias," I cry. "There's not a day I don't wish my parents were here with me, but that doesn't mean I don't see clearly."

He hangs his head, but then he looks at me and says, "You're right… and I wish I could take all of it back." Tobias takes another step closer to me and I can feel my body aching for him. "I messed up, Tris, and I'm sorry. Please give me a chance to make it right."

I stay quiet. It's not that I don't want to forgive him- I do. But the pain that comes from the stinging feeling of betrayal rips my heart, and as much as I want him to hold me, I also want to disappear into a corner where he can't find me.

"I won't ever speak to Emily again if that's what you want," Tobias pleads. "If you want to go to Candor, it's still not too late. I can talk Tori into it. But I'm coming with you."

I roll my eyes so hard they almost land behind my head. "That is _exactly_ what I am talking about, Tobias! I don't need you to babysit me!"

He reaches for my hand but I'm afraid to touch him. I'm afraid I might collapse. I don't take it.

Tobias frowns. His entire body sinks. "Do you know what I saw in my fear landscape? Only hours before that meeting?" he says to me, his eyes glossed over. "I held you in my arms and I watched you die, Tris. There was nothing I could do to save you." He breathes heavier and he folds his hands into fists. "Tris, just the thought of you being in danger, the thought of losing you, I… I lost it."

Understanding that much, I nod; my worst fear was losing him too. It hurts me even now, so much that I know in my heart I could never do without him. One way or another, we will have to put this behind us. I just don't know how yet.

"I just need some time," I say, choking on each word. "Ok?"

He hesitates for a moment, but then he softly agrees, "Ok." Slowly, he takes a step back but doesn't turn his eyes away from me. Then he says, "Just know that I respect you more than anyone... I love you more than anyone."

I wipe my cheeks with my palms and watch as Tobias turns around and walks through the doors. When they slam shut behind him and I can't see him anymore I feel bare, like there's nothing left to protect me from the pain. And that's when the tears really come.

* * *

 **A/N: Please don't hate me guys! It's gonna get better between them I pinky swear.**


	41. Unbreakable Passion Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

 **TOBIAS**

I wear full black for the first time, and standing in a moving train along with my new allies- factionless and Dauntless- causes a strange feeling to wash over me. I feel like a stranger to my own self; as if the former version of me only exists in my memories. If someone had told me three weeks ago this is where I'd be instead of at a boring councillor's meeting I'd have never believed them.

When I spoke to Tori and told her Tris and I would be coming along, she was a bit hesitant. She ultimately gave in but insisted if Tris and I were to accompany them to Candor, we'd need to look as Dauntless as possible when we walk in there. Being recognized would definitely not be the best thing for us, since as far as we know, Candor is loyal to Jeanine and they'd be sure to inform her. Obviously they don't mean any harm; they're just completely unaware of the true nature of Jeanine Matthews. Hopefully we can change that.

Tris stands on the other side of the train-car beside Christina and Will. Her long hair dances in the wind and slaps at her shoulders and face. I'd hold it for her, but she's too far away from me for my liking. I hate the distance between us, but I guess I only have myself to blame for it.

I had spent the entire rest of the morning thinking about what she had said to me, and I hate how much I hurt her. It's the last thing I ever wanted to do. I only ever want to protect her. And as much as she may not understand it, not wanting her to head out to Candor or train with the Dauntless is not because I don't trust her or because I don't think she's strong enough. It's because I'm not. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something ever happened to Tris.

As for the situation with Emily, I really have no justification. Though I hate to admit it, I was utterly and completely wrong.

The train begins to slow down and Tori and the others make their way toward the door.

"We're here!" Kade yells behind them.

He and Lola jump off first, then Will, Christina and Tris. I stare at my wife as she jumps off with ease and runs behind the others without missing a step. Tori goes next, and then Uriah. I'm sure to jump off last, since I'm not entirely sure I'll be able to do it without falling flat on my face. But thankfully, jumping off is a bit easier than jumping on.

Our running slows to walking when our destination comes into view. Candor Headquarters is large enough to contain an entire world. Or so it seems to me. It is enormous and intimidating. The words 'MERC IS MART' are chiselled into the concrete, and the whole building is formidable. It used to read 'Merchandise Mart,' but most people refer to is as Merciless Mart, because the Candor are Merciless with their honesty.

"Just give her time, man," Uriah says to me as we approach the large glass doors of Candor headquarters. He pats me on the shoulder.

"Huh?"

"You've been staring at her since we left the compound. It's kinda creepy to be honest."

I don't say anything. It's my own fault, yet I'm highly irritated everyone knows Tris and I are fighting. It's none of their business.

Kade, Lola and Tori are the first to walk into Candor. I pause outside for a second; I don't know what to expect because I've never been inside and I can't see anything beyond my reflection in the glass doors. It proves to be the second time I don't recognize myself.

"Here we go," Uriah says and he takes the first step forward.

We step inside and the room goes perfectly still. The place is swarming with Candor but none of them make a sound and every single pair of eyes is glued to us as we walk. Most of us look around with a lost expression on our face, but Tori walks as if she knows where she's going and we all follow behind her.

The lobby is large and well-lit, with black marble floors that stretch back to an elevator bank. A ring of white marble tiles in the centre of the room form the symbol of Candor: a set of unbalanced scales, meant to symbolize the weighing of truth against lies. The ceiling is high, and the pillars inside it alternate between black and white. Every image on the wall and every statue or piece of decoration sport their factional colours. That combined with every single person dressed in black and white makes it a little bit too much. It almost hurts my eyes.

Suddenly, a hoard of men come walking toward us. The crowd of Candor move to give them way.

"We're here to see Jack Kang," Lola says to the men, but they all walk right past her and Kade and surround the rest of us.

"Is there a problem?" Tori demands.

"Identify yourselves," one of the men says as soon as we're all surrounded. His eyes are filled with suspicion and apprehension.

"My name is Tori," she answers. "This is Four, Uriah, Christina, Will, and Tris." She slowly points to each of us. "All Dauntless."

"Are you armed?" The man insists.

"Of course we're armed," Tori scowls at him. "I just told you we're Dauntless."

"Stand with your hands behind your head." He shouts the words wildly, like he expects us to refuse. I glance at Uriah and then at Kade. Why are they acting like we're about to attack them?

"We walked through the front door," Tris says slowly. "You think we would have done that if we were here to hurt you?"

I consciously take a few slow steps toward Tris. She might be mad at me, but I'm not letting anyone put their hands on her.

"Don't move!" one of the other Candor guards yells at me. "And put your hands behind your head."

"There is really no need for this," Kade urges and he earns a suspicious glare from Tris.

I don't take another step. I touch my fingertips to the back of my head. After a moment, everyone else does the same. The guards come closer and begin to search us. One of them pats down my legs while another takes the gun tucked under my waistband.

A young guard, a round-faced boy with pink cheeks, approaches Tris.

"Put your hands on my wife and I will make you regret it," I say threateningly. His eyes open wide and he looks at me apologetically.

"I have a knife in my back pocket," Tris says to him, rolling her eyes at me. "You can take it out."

The guard mumbles some kind of apology to her. His fingers pinch the knife handle, careful not to touch her. Smart boy.

I watch as one of the guards suddenly makes his way toward us with a light of recognition in his eyes. "Christina?!" he cries out as he forces his way forward, not at all afraid to push the others out of his way. He has dark skin, like Zeke's, and short curly hair.

"Samuel!" Christina answers back, and she rushes to meet him, colliding in a tight embrace. Will stares at them curiously.

"What's going on?" asks Christina. She releases him from the embrace, but she doesn't step away. The guard exchanges a look with some of the others, urging them to stand down.

"I'm sorry," he says to her. "Jeanine's ordered for all traitor Dauntless to be arrested and delivered to her."

"But we're not the traitors! _They_ are!" Christina bellows.

"I'll figure this out," he answers as he backs away, "Don't worry," and he breaks away from the other guards.

"Find Rose!" Christina yells behind him, just before the others begin to lead us away toward the elevators. The guard-Samuel- looks back one more time before he runs out of sight.

The Candor guards keep us enclosed in a tight circle as we walk and I use the opportunity to walk closer to Tris. Over the echoing of our footsteps, I hear her whisper to Christina, "Who's that?"

"That's Samuel. My brother-in-law."

I smile when I see Will's shoulders visibly relax.

Not before long we stand in a file in front of Jack Kang's desk. He only stares at us with a perplexed expression the first few minutes we stand in his office.

Jack is a young leader by Abnegation standards, not so much so by Dauntless standards. He's tall, with black hair and warm, slanted eyes, like Tori's. His office looks just like the rest of Candor- painfully black and white.

"Well this is a surprise," he finally says and he stands to his feet, pushing his arms against his desk. "Why would you willingly choose to come here? Candor is in full support of Jeanine's leadership and anyone who stands against it is not welcomed here."

"We came to ask for your help," Lola answers, although she and Kade are obviously not under arrest. They both stand freely beside us. I suppose Jeanine's orders to arrest those who stand against her do not apply to the factionless.

"And why exactly would we help you? The Candor do not aid enemies of the truth."

"Enemies of the truth?" Tris spits out before she can help herself. "Jeanine is the biggest liar in this city. _She's_ the one who orchestrated the attack and then blamed the Divergent."

I clench my fists together, wishing Tris would watch her words, but I dare not say a thing. I'm already far too much on her bad side for telling her what to do.

"She's right, Jack," Kade says. "None of what Jeanine says is true."

"And why should I believe any of you? In the eyes of the law you are traitors, and traitors are imprisoned. And that includes you two for being accomplices," Jack says to Kade and Lola and he points at the both of them as if he were a parent. "Handcuff them all and take them to the holding cells. We'll deliver them to Jeanine in the morning."

The guards fall in line behind us and lock our hands in cold, metal handcuffs. Will and Uriah resist but only for a second. Tris wears a scowl on her face and Christina stares menacingly at Jack. Is this really how this ends? With the Candor arresting us before they've even listened to a word we've said?

"You can't imprison him!" Lola suddenly blurts out, pointing at me before her hands are cuffed behind her back.

"And why not?" Jack asks at the same time Kade softly pleads, " Lola… Don't."

But she ignores his warning and says, "That's Tobias Eaton you're about to arrest, the only surviving member of the council and therefore rightful leader of this city."

The room goes perfectly still. No one makes a sound and all the guards look at Jack for an answer. Kade runs his fingers through his hair apprehensively; that was information we were only to surrender when we were sure the Candor were on our side.

"That's impossible," Jack shakes his head. "All the councillors were killed in the attack."

"Obviously not," I answer with a humourless chuckle.

His eyes square in on me. "If you really are Tobias Eaton, why are you dressed as one of the Dauntless?"

"We'll tell you everything you need to know, Jack," Lola answers for me. "Just let us go."

Jack nods at the guard standing behind me and he doesn't hesitate to unlock the handcuffs. I free my arms and rub at my wrists. "And my wife," I say, gesturing at Tris. Jack stares at her curiously for longer than he should. I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't believe us at all. Tris is already so used to wearing black and she fits in so well with the others you'd never know she was Abnegation.

"Free them all," Jack says to my surprise. Then he asks me, "Why are you here?"

"We need you to make an official declaration to the rest of the city," I begin. "Let them know I'm alive and that Jeanine has commandeered rule of this city by illegal and inhumane methods. She used an army of mind controlled Dauntless to attack Abnegation. If we approach the Amity they might not believe us, but coming from Candor they won't hesitate to believe _you_."

Jack scoffs and then leans nonchalantly against his desk. "I simply cannot declare something that I do not know to be true."

"Then put him under," Christina chips in. "No one can lie under truth serum."

Jack's eyes open wide, and myself along with the others all turn to look at Christina. We all know different factions possess different serums, but I've always believed truth serum was a myth meant to scare off unfit dependents who thought to choose the scales.

"Truth serum?" Tris inquires softly.

"You are Candor-born," Jack infers, still staring at Christina.

"Yes."

Slowly, Jack nods. "Very well then." He leans up off his desk and checks his watch. "The interrogation will begin at six. Don't bother preparing for it." And we are all escorted out of his office by the same group of Candor guards.

On the way to the holding cells, we take a detour to the bathrooms. I suppose this means the next time we're let out it will be time for the interrogation. I take my time inside, letting my hands turn red under the warm water from the faucet. I look up and stare at my reflection in the large mirror over the sink.

"What are you afraid of saying?" Uriah asks me, breaking me out of my trance. He washes his hands in the sink beside me.

Truthfully, I hadn't even thought about what it would be like to be put under truth serum, what they would ask me.

"I have nothing to hide," I answer, and then I turn away from the mirror and shove the door to the hallway open with the heel of my hand.

When the guards drop us off at the holding room, I linger by the door. Tris walks in first and she and Christina claim a corner for themselves. She looks a little older to be honest. It might be the tight fitting clothes or her hair being let down as opposed to up in a bun. It might also be neither of those things, but rather that she wears all that has happened like a mask.

The sight of her fills me with nervousness and longing. I know she said all she needs is time, but I don't know how much longer I can stand to be away from her. Still, trying to give her the space she asked for, I take a seat beside Uriah.

There's no clock in the room, so we can't count down the minutes until the interrogation. There's actually nothing to look at in the room at all except each other, so together we all sit on the uncomfortable floor and wait.

* * *

I must fall asleep eventually, because I jerk awake at the sound of the door opening. A few Candor guards walk in as we get to our feet, and one of them- a woman- says Christina's name. But turns out she's not a guard at all, and Christina shoves her way past the others and throws her arms around her sister. One would have to be blind to miss the resemblance. Holding each other by the hip, they walk side by side while the guards retrieve the rest of us from the holding room and we're led down a black-marble hallway.

It must be easy to get lost in Candor headquarters, since everything looks the same. We walk down another hallway and finally through a set of double doors. Inside, there is a hollow three-story room with empty spaces in the walls instead of windows. I look up and see the darkening sky above me, starless.

Here the marble floors are white, with a black Candor symbol in the centre of the room, and the walls are lit with rows of dim yellow lights, so the whole room glows.

Most of Candor are already gathered. Some of them sit on the tiered benches that wrap around the edge of the room, but there isn't enough space for everyone, so the rest are crowded around the Candor symbol. In the centre of the symbol, between the unbalanced scales, is an empty chair.

I am led to the centre of the room while the others are put to stand on the side. Tris and I exchange a lingering glance. There's still hurt in her eyes and I want so much to reach out for her and take her in my arms.

The guard leaves me standing alone in the centre of the room. I stare at the floor instead of at the hundreds of people looking at me. The crowd is strangely quiet; usually the Candor are boisterous and loud.

When I lift my head up, I spot Jack Kang in the front row of the tiered benches. He steps forward after a while with a black box in his hands. "Have a seat," he says to me. Jack opens the box which contains about four syringes. I don't know why so many. He also takes an antiseptic wipe and offers it to me.

I give him a questioning look.

"The injection site is in your neck," he says. I nod and apply the antiseptic to my skin.

Jack steps forward and plunges the needle into my neck, squeezing the cloudy, bluish liquid into my veins.

I barely feel the pinch, but I feel the effects of the serum immediately afterward. It makes my blood feel like lead in my veins. I would collapse if I weren't already sitting down. Seconds later my brain goes silent, and there's nothing but the chair beneath me and the man standing across from me.

"I will ask you a series of simple questions so that you can grow accustomed to the serum as it takes full effect," says Jack. "Let's start with your name."

"Tobias Eaton." I answer immediately without thinking a single thought. In that very moment my heart begins to race and I stop breathing.

Before a few seconds ago, I didn't fear the interrogation. After all, I really did believe that I have nothing to hide. But as I sit here with every truth I've ever lived and known hanging loose on my tongue, it finally dawns on me that none of my secrets are safe- not one.

"Who are you parents?"

"My parents were Marcus and Evelyn Eaton." I can't remember the last time I said my mother's name out loud, yet it slides off my lips as if it were my own.

"What faction were you born into and what faction did you choose?" Jack slowly walks around the chair.

"I was Abnegation born and Abnegation chosen."

"And the name of your wife?"

"Tris- Beatrice Eaton," I correct myself without ever deciding to.

"Tobias, you were only recently elected into the Abnegation council. Is that correct?"

My heart races even faster and my body feels heavier and heavier the longer I keep the answer inside me. "Yes," I say, and I silently pray that his questions steer far away from my father, from my fears, from the truth of my election and my marriage. These are all things I believe have no place being known by anyone other than Tris and me.

"And you are claiming that Jeanine is behind the attack on Abnegation?" Jack gets right to the point and I relax in my chair.

"Yes," I say and there's an instant and loud murmuring that comes from the crowd. Every voice echoes in the room.

Jack immediately comes to a stop in front of me. "How did you become aware of this?" he asks me.

"It all began when my wife started attending the council meetings," I begin. "We all know of the hateful articles from Erudite that undermined the Abnegation council, and their ridiculous demands they knew we had no way of meeting. I never thought much of it, but my wife was the one who brought it to my attention that the Erudite might have ulterior motives for doing such things."

"But this is all very circumstantial," Jack says in a peculiar tone. "What proof do you have that this was indeed the case? And that Jeanine went as far as orchestrating a physical attack?"

"My father confirmed it to me just before he died. And also Caleb, my wife's brother. He transferred to Erudite from Abnegation but came home when he found out what Jeanine was planning."

Jack nods and looks around the room. "Is your brother-in-law here with you today?"

"No."

"That's unfortunate," Jack mutters, but it really isn't. Caleb would have been too afraid to testify against Jeanine anyway. "Tell me, Tobias," he goes on to say. "Do you think you've benefited in any way from this ordeal?"

His question takes me by surprise and I sit up in my chair. "How could _I_ possibly benefit from the deaths of countless innocent people?" I'm not sure what burns more inside me, anger or the serum for not answering the question. When I say, "No, I do not believe I have," I realize it is a bit of both.

"Well, it is feared among the Dauntless that you and probably your father were conspiring with Jeanine Matthews in order to save your own lives. Is there any truth to this?" I glance at Tori, knowing this question only could have come from her. It feels like a stab in the back. I thought Tori trusted me. I really believed she was accepting me and my people the best way she knew how.

I hesitate to answer and my fingers curl up at my side in pain. None of the Abnegation are here today, but that doesn't mean the truth will not eventually land on their ears. And that's when I'll find out if the ghost of my father is right. That's when I'll know if they only trust me to lead them because they trusted my father.

"Answer the question, Tobias. The pain only gets worse the longer you resist," Jack says calmly, and I realize I've been groaning in pain.

"There is some truth," I finally answer. I hear gasping in the crowd and I see Tori straighten up in surprise. At the same time, all the conversations in the room stop and the silence they leave in their wake is worse than the muttering was. "My father was working with Jeanine but I had no part in it. He only confessed it to me just before he died," I explain.

"What role did your father play in the attack and why was he cooperating with Jeanine?"

"He gave Jeanine the dates for all council meetings to be held within a certain time period and a list of all who were expected to attend. He was hoping if he helped her she'd give him a position of authority in the new government."

"So he surrendered Abnegation to save himself," Jack rightly infers, but there is no judgement in his tone.

"Yes," I say between my teeth. "He didn't believe they would ever take a stand against Jeanine and he refused to go down with them."

Jack nods. "So your absence from that day's council meeting was purely coincidental?"

"Yes." I answer immediately.

"Where were you?"

For the first time since the interrogation started, I feel lighter. I'm taken back to a better place where I'm lying in bed with Tris in my arms. "In bed… with my wife," I say. I hear a faint chuckle coming from the crowd.

"You and Beatrice are still pretty much newlyweds, am I right?"

And just like that, I'm stolen from my bliss. This is one of those topics the Candor have no business asking about. And especially considering how much there is about me and Tris that I would rather no one else ever knew, I bear the searing pain and through my teeth I seethe, "I fail to see the relevance."

Jack blinks in surprise at my answer, or rather my lack of one. "Maybe it wasn't relevant before, Tobias, but it is now that you've resisted answering the question."

"Yes we are," I blurt out angrily. "And I would appreciate it if you would respect the areas of my personal life that do not offer up any information relevant to the matter at hand."

"Very well," Jack recedes. "You seem to be very protective of your wife."

I don't answer him. Instead, I wait for the next question and long for this interrogation to be over.

"Well let's focus on what happened the day of the attack. You said earlier that Abnegation was stormed by an army of mind-controlled Dauntless?" Jack chuckles, almost as if he expects to find out that was a lie. I ignore him and let out a breath of relief. Finally, a question I don't mind answering.

"Yes," I begin. "They were all under a simulation controlled by Jeanine. They were not aware of what they were doing."

Jack is silent with shock for a while and his mouth hangs slightly open. "How did you manage to escape them?" he asks.

"Tris and I snuck out of the house through the back door. Uriah, one of the Dauntless, found us and took us to safety."

"You were unarmed?"

"I had a gun."

Jack raises his eyebrows at my answer. "How did you come to be in possession of a weapon?"

"Maddox Kade," I answer, though if I could have I would have resisted mentioning his name. "He's one of the factionless."

"Hmm," Jack says softly. "And why did he supply you with a weapon?"

"He had anticipated an attack and gave it to me just in case I needed to defend myself."

"What is your relationship with Maddox Kade?" Jack asks. He places both arms behind his back and stares me straight in the eye.

"He's a friend," I answer and I frighten even myself. I've never thought about putting a label on the relationship I have with Kade. I only knew that I trusted him for whatever reason. I've never used that word to describe anyone in my life before. But no one can lie under truth serum, so it must be true; I consider him a friend, despite my wife's many warnings that he might be hiding something.

I ponder for a second that Tris might be right about him too, but then I stop myself. My gut is telling me Kade is on our side, and as leader I simply cannot estrange every person she has an inkling about. Yes, I was wrong about Emily, but that does not at all mean I am always wrong- or that she is always right. I really have no idea what this means for our marriage.

"Do you know how he came to be aware of an impending attack?" Jack asks curiously, cutting through my thoughts. He digs deeper into the plot, but I remain relaxed. I have nothing to do with that part of this story. I only know what I've been told.

"He has an informant, a spy who has somehow taken up residence in Erudite." I purposely avoid looking at Lola. But Jack is no idiot.

"Have you met this informant?" he asks.

"Yes."

"Is he or she in this room as we speak?"

I hesitate, but eventually I say, "Yes."

"What is this person's name?"

"I only know her by the name Lola. I don't know her last name." And again, I sulk and stare at the floor, wishing I never had to call her name.

When I look up I find Jack wearing a knowing smile. He turns to the crowd and looks directly at her. He knows exactly who she is. He lets out a breath and then turns back around to look at me.

"So you can swear before this audience that you in no way conspired to obtain the position you have now? It just fell in your hands?" Jack asks with a strange sort of reverence in his voice.

"That is correct," I say.

"And is your allegiance with the Abnegation?" Jack asks, eyeing me up and down. "Or with the Dauntless?"

"My allegiance lies with anyone who does not support the attack on Abnegation," I answer.

Jack nods a few times. "Among the Candor, before a person is accepted into our community, they have to completely expose themselves. Given the dire circumstances we are in, and what you are asking of us, we require the same of you. So, Tobias Eaton, what is your deepest regret?"

Surprisingly, I don't have to think. I don't have to search my mind. The answer comes to me like a boulder rolling down a hill. And maybe this is something that would have been better said in private, right along with the biggest apology of my life. But I don't fight the serum; she deserves to know. They all do.

"I regret not listening to my wife… and for causing her pain," I say. "Tris wanted to take action the minute she figured out the Erudite were up to something. I was more concerned with being a good Abnegation and not upsetting my father. I've doubted her when I should have trusted her about certain things… certain people… and things would have been a whole lot different between us right now if I had just listened to her."

There's an eerie calm in the room and I can feel Tris' eyes on me. I know there is nothing I could do that could take back what I did and how I made her feel. But at least maybe this way she'll know that of all the wrong things I've done, I regret hurting her the most.

"Before these witnesses," Jack says solemnly, "I declare Tobias Eaton's innocence and legitimacy as Councillor of this city."

For a short moment everyone is silent. I don't know who starts the whisper; it seems to originate from nothing, to come from no one. But someone whispers, "Thank you for your honesty," and the rest of the room repeats it.

"Thank you for your honesty," Jack then says to me. I'm immediately escorted off the chair and toward the row where the others stand when Jack suddenly says, "I'd like to call Lola Cartwright to the stand."

* * *

 **A/N: And we're at Candor! (Finally). A longer chapter than usual as a gesture of gratitude for your patience ;) And I absolutely enjoyed the reviews from last chapter! I even drew some inspiration from all your thoughts for this chapter and the two to come. Thank you to Bamberlee who continues to shower me with love and better words and sometimes both at the same time lol Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!**


	42. Unbreakable Passion Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

 **TRIS**

"No! No way."

Lola adamantly fights for her freedom when a Candor guard tries to escort her up front. Everyone is staring at her- everyone but me. I'm too caught up in Tobias' final confession. The air in the room, once warm and fresh, suddenly feels cold and dry.

With the guard by his side, leading him into the crowd, Tobias lingers by the edge of my row. I try not to look at him but it's hard not to. How could I continue to be mad at the man whose greatest regret is hurting me?

As I stare into his eyes I'm reminded of how he looked when I first met him- short hair, stern expression, sinking into himself. All that's missing is the grey. I'm reminded of when the sight of him used to fill me with a feeling of wholeness. I remember when we kissed for the first time, when he stayed in bed with me the night I realized I would never belong in Abnegation. I finally turn my head away when I feel a painful pang of longing for how things used to be.

Tobias walks deeper into the crowd and I distract myself with the noise coming from the roomful of Candor. They seem almost insulted that Lola is refusing to be interrogated.

"I don't understand why she doesn't just do it," Christina says beside me. "This interrogation is nothing compared to Candor initiation. We're given truth serum and forced to answer just about every personal question you can think of in front of _everyone_ in the faction."

I shiver. I don't need to search myself for my deepest, darkest secrets to know that truth serum is the last thing I want in my body.

"Can't say I blame her," I say, although to be honest, I'm curious to hear what Lola has to say. I'm far more wary of Kade than I am of her but at this point I have no reason to trust either of them. I wish they would have called Kade to the stand instead. I should be that lucky.

"No!" Lola screams out again when a second guard tries to take hold of her.

"Is there something you have to hide?" Jack says with both eyebrows lifted high as he makes his way over to her.

"No!" she answers thickly. "But I'm not compromising my cover just to prove that to you."

"If you refuse to testify you will be taken into custody and presumed guilty of your charges," Jack explains.

"What charges?" Lola blurts out, confused.

"Espionage."

Lola laughs in his face, a twisted, vicious laugh. It's a far cry from the calm, amiable woman she's always appeared to be. "And what are you gonna do, Jack? Make me factionless again?"

Again? Meaning he was the one who made her factionless before? Curiously, my eyes flash back and forth between the two of them.

"Oh, there is _definitely_ a story here," Christina mutters. From beside her, her sister Rose nods knowingly.

Lifting his chin toward the ceiling, Jack straightens his stance and serenely states, "Espionage is the highest count of treason to the factions and it's punishment is death."

The room suddenly goes quiet and there is no movement except for Kade who is pushing through the crowd trying to get to Lola. In all my life I've never heard of anyone being executed. The most severe punishment was being banished beyond the wall, and even _that_ has only happened once or twice.

"Can they really do that?" I ask Christina.

She nods quickly. "It's the law. She should just go. Even if she's found guilty she might get a lesser sentence for cooperating," Christina explains. "Sometimes, to the Candor, refusing the reveal the truth is worse than the crime itself."

I nod but I don't completely agree. Knowledge of the truth should never be more important than the impact of it, because then truth becomes vain and meaningless- like a trophy.

"Just do it, Lola," Kade urges the minute he's by her side, and he pushes the guards away from her. Jack Kang smartly takes a few steps back.

"If I go under truth serum there's no way I can go back to Erudite," Lola says softly, "And I've worked too hard to get where I am now to just throw that away."

"Everything said in this room is confidential, if that is what you're concerned about."

"Too bad I don't trust you, Jack!" Lola turns her face around and shrieks at his unwelcome interjection.

"Hey. Hey, it's ok." Firmly, Kade takes Lola's face between his palms, bringing her back to him. She breathes heavily, almost as if in a panic. "You don't have to go back. We already know enough." They stare at each other for a few long seconds, and then Lola's eyes are pained but strong when she finally makes the decision to go under truth serum. Only then does Kade let her go.

"Those two have a _lot_ of sexual tension riled up between them," Christina whispers under her breath. I don't doubt it at all. Lola always stares at Kade when he's not looking, and right now his eyes are filled with a lot more than just concern.

The guards try to take Lola by the elbow and she quickly shrugs them off. Unaccompanied, she walks to the centre of the room and sits in the chair. To everyone's surprise she picks up the syringe from the small box, wipes her skin and injects herself in the neck. She then stares at Jack, daring him to begin.

Jack wastes no time. He straightens his black jacket and walks to the centre of the room; the heels of his shoes click against the tile floor. "State your full name," he commands Lola.

She takes a breath. "Lola Cartwright."

"What are you parents' names, Lola?"

She rolls her eyes and answers, "My mother's name _was_ Dalia Cartwright and I never knew my father."

"What faction were you born into and what faction did you choose?"

"I was Candor born. Erudite chosen."

I gasp. That might explain how she knows Jack and how she knew how to use the serum.

"So why are you dressed as one of the factionless?" Jack inquires while staring at her red Amity blouse and dark blue jeans, but there is not a hint of curiosity in his voice. I presume it's because he already knows the answer.

"I _am_ factionless," Lola says with an unmistakeable annoyance in her voice.

"And how did you become factionless, Lola?"

"Why are you asking me questions you already know the answer to?!" Lola shouts at him.

"Answer the question!" Jack growls lowly. "This interrogation is not just for me. It's for everyone in this room." Jack waves his hand, gesturing at the crowd of people behind him.

As Lola stares threateningly at Jack, the Candor around me mutter to each other, some of them scowling. I raise my eyebrows at Christina hoping for an explanation.

"It's extremely difficult not to immediately answer questions while under the truth serum," she clarifies. "It means she has a seriously strong will… or something to hide. But I don't know why people even try. No one can lie under truth serum."

Visibly so, the longer Lola tries to resist the serum, the harder it seems to be for her. Colour fills her cheeks, and she breathes faster, heavier- until she gives in.

"Factional law forbade me from seeing my mother after she had fallen ill," she says. "But when I heard she was dying I couldn't bear to stay away. I broke the law and I was caught. My punishment was expulsion from my chosen faction."

While still not knowing whether Lola is a friend or foe my chest aches for her. The details of such painful memories should stay inside her if that's where she wants them to be. Candor is cruel for forcing them from her.

"This is horrible," I say quietly to Christina.

"What?" she says. "It's a simple question."

I shake my head. "You don't understand." I would never want to be forced to speak of my mother's death, the way I held her in my arms as she bled through the bullet holes in her body.

"And how long have you been factionless?" Jack continues.

"Ten years."

Jack nods. "Tobias Eaton states that you serve as an informant for Maddox Kade. Is this correct?"

"Yes."

"And how did you end up taking residence in Erudite after having been expelled from the faction?" Jack asks. This time he _is_ curious, and he stops pacing in front of her.

"I was a prodigy. I ranked first during my initiation, far above even the Erudite born. I used to work along with Jeanine Matthews on some of her more complicated research. When she was named leader of the faction I sought her out and swore loyalty to her if she'd take me back."

"Interesting." Jack taps his cheek with his right index finger. "So why go back to Erudite? What was the reason for espionage?"

"I picked up on Erudite's outright disrespect toward the Abnegation government. Seemed to me like they were instigating something and I wanted to find out what it was."

"It intrigues me that you formed this idea about the Erudite based solely on articles and hunches. Under ordinary circumstances I would rule your statement as speculation."

"It's called being perceptive, a quality of the Erudite. I don't suppose you know anything of it," Lola says with a small but smug smile. "The Erudite also do not make idle threats nor do they act haphazardly. Every move is calculated."

"I see." Jack begins pacing again, this time with his hands behind his back. "And while spying on Jeanine, were your presumptions substantiated?"

"Yes. I eventually found out she was experimenting with serums and transmitters until they finally brewed the ones used for the attack, and that the Dauntless leaders had given her permission to use Dauntless to attack Abnegation in exchange for control over the army after it was over. But I didn't find out until it was too late and by then I couldn't do anything to stop it." Lola frowns and her voice trails off. I suppose that is the answer to my question. Lola is a friend.

Jack stops pacing again. "One thing I don't understand," he says. "What reason did Jeanine have to blame the Divergent for the attack? She could have just as easily passed the explosion off as an accident. And why try to eliminate the entire faction if the government was her objective?"

"The Divergent were the whole reason for the attack. Jeanine believes they will be the end of our society. They don't conform to any one way of thinking so they don't easily fit into one faction. That's why she's asking you to give them up," Lola explains. "She's experimenting on them to see if she can somehow eliminate their divergence and if not she plans to find and kill them all. She took the government out of play because they would have never sanctioned something so immoral, and she tried to eliminate Abnegation because she believed they were hiding Divergents within their faction."

"I see." Jack thinks silently for a second. "And how can we be sure the Divergent aren't a threat to us?"

"Because I know many," Lola says, "and they are good people."

"Like who, for example?"

Jack looks around the room and his gaze stops right in front of Christina and me. My heart races in my chest, wondering if she will identify me, or Tobias. But before Lola can say anything at all, someone steps forward.

"Like me," says Uriah.

* * *

Uriah was the last to be questioned by Jack Kang. It was also the most difficult interrogation to listen to. The Candor held their breath as he described what he saw- waking up in a room full of mindless Dauntless, innocent Abnegation lives being taken, him rescuing Susan and the children and taking them to safety. He even confirmed that Jeanine had been snooping around Dauntless for months prior and that they had all been injected with a strange device after their initiation.

It was incredibly brave of Uriah to step forward and I'm glad he did; he was the best person for it. That way everybody knows it was a Divergent who saved countless lives that day.

If Jack Kang needs more proof after today that Jeanine is a liar, then he's not as dedicated to the truth as he claims to be. Although he didn't appear to need any more convincing; after Uriah's interrogation he seemed terrified and left in a hurry for his office.

The Candor cleared the room just as quickly and before long it was empty. Will and Christina went with Rose and her husband Samuel, Lola disappeared and Kade went after her. I, on the other hand, lingered long enough to take the last vial of truth serum without being seen.

Standing alone on the roof of Candor, I play with the syringe in my pocket, rubbing my thumb over the plastic that covers the needle. Before I took it I hadn't given much thought to whether or not I'd use it. But the mere fact that I did tells me I'd already decided.

"Hey," I hear someone say behind me. I quickly take my hand out of my pocket and turn around to see Uriah walking toward me.

"Hey," I answer sounding a bit surprised. I wasn't expecting anyone to come up here after dark.

"Where's your big, scary husband?" Uriah asks and I chuckle wryly. I've been trying so hard to not think about Tobias yet conveniently it's the first thing Uriah asks me.

"Probably out doing big, scary husband things," is my reply.

It was hard seeing him today, especially after his interrogation. I've never seen him in full black before. I wanted to run to him and tell him how handsome he looked. I wanted to kiss him and tell him it was ok and that I forgave him. I don't know why I didn't. I don't know why I'm on this rooftop staring at the city lights instead of looking for him.

"Well if he's anything like me he's trying to get some fresh air. That truth serum is brutal," Uriah says shaking his head. "I still feel a little shaken up to be honest." He presses both arms into the railing and takes a deep breath of the cold night air.

"I'm sorry you had to relive that." I say sincerely.

"It's ok," he shrugs, still looking over the city. "It's what we came here for, right? I just hope the others are having luck in Amity."

I scoff playfully. "The others? Or Susan?"

Uriah blushes and tries to bury his face in the space between his elbows for a second or two. Well that's a pleasant surprise.

"Is it that obvious?"

"Not really," I smile at him. "I was just throwing that out there to see if you'd bite."

"Wow, Tris," he laughs. "Well I guess you caught me."

"I guess I did," I chuckle.

Uriah grins as wide as he ever has and then he begins to laugh at nothing. "Susan is… amazing," he begins. "I mean, we're polar opposites; I'm loud and crazy and she's quiet and beautiful-"

"Aww," I interrupt. "You're beautiful too, Uriah."

We both laugh and then with a bow he says, "Thank you. Thank you." Still grinning he adds, "But really, she's even more beautiful on the inside. She's so different from the girls at Dauntless, but in a good way, you know?"

I can't help but smile at him. What did he expect really? Susan was born and raised Abnegation.

"This is all so new to her- Dauntless and Divergents," Uriah continues. "Yet she has such an open mind, you know? She doesn't judge people or assume the worst of them. I met her on the worst day of her life and even then all she wanted to do was make sure everyone else was ok."

His face becomes serious and so does mine. I'll never forget how much I admired Susan that day. I couldn't function after I had lost my parents, but she was driven by an innate force to take care of everybody else. "I think she just might be the purest person on Earth," I say.

"She just might be," Uriah says softly. "I don't know how she does it. If I were in her shoes I don't think I would have ever forgiven Lynn."

I shrug. "Well, you get used to her attitude after a while. No one really takes it personally."

Uriah pinches his eyebrows together and shakes his head at me. "No. That's not what I'm talking about," he says.

Confused, I turn my whole body toward him and press my side into the railing. "Then what _are_ you talking about?"

Uriah's eyes open a little wider when he quietly says, "If she hasn't told you then she's an even better person than I thought." His mouth hangs open for a while. "No offense, but your brother's an idiot."

"Yeah, well… Tell me something I don't know." And with that we both turn back to face the city. When I sneak a glance at Uriah he's staring off into the distance, off beyond the wall. "She likes you too, you know," I tell him. "I probably shouldn't be telling you that. She's afraid you might be hung up on Marlene."

He slowly shakes his head. "Naw," he says grimly. "I was for a while… but after thinking it through I realized it wasn't worth it. _She_ wasn't worth it."

I nod. I don't understand how Lynn could blame Uriah for Marlene leaving. She made her own choice. She woke up from the simulation the same way they all did and she saw what she had been a part of. If there is any part of her that is ok with that then Uriah's right- she's not worth it.

"You and Tobias are lucky to have found each other," Uriah adds. "You have the same goals, same beliefs, you're on the same page. You get one another."

"Sometimes I wonder," I mumble softly.

"Hey, don't get me wrong," he clarifies. "Getting one another doesn't mean things will always be flowers and rainbows. It just means at the end of the day, no matter what the problem is, nothing will ever be more important than you are to each other."

It scares me just how right he is, because in this moment nothing matters to me at all but Tobias. Not Emily, not Candor, not the Erudite who are possibly trying to kill us all.

"I've seen you and I've seen him," Uriah continues. "I've seen you apart and together, and believe me you two were meant for each other. I mean how many Abnegation-Dauntless Divergents were there in Abnegation?"

I give him an eye and then I smile at him. "How'd you figure that out?"

"I recognize my people," Uriah jokes and I laugh, but I can't ignore the achy feeling in my chest. I know in my heart I could never love another man the way I've grown to love Tobias. I think of how strong I have become, how I'm no longer afraid to be who I am, and how all along the way he has been my strength. He's comforted me, told me I am brave and I am loved. Wherever he is right now, Tobias needs to know I love him too and I always will.

Uriah presses a hand into my shoulder and smiles at me, almost as if he could read my thoughts. It's amazing how he somehow managed to tell me to make things right with Tobias without actually telling me.

Just then, Uriah and I both turn around when we hear slow but steady footsteps behind us. It's dark and there are no lights on the roof, but I would never miss Maddox Kade's silhouette or his voice when he says, "I've been looking all over for you, Uriah. Tori wants you."

Uriah smiles at me before loudly letting out a breath and saying, "Guess I'll see you later, Tris. Duty calls."

He walks away and I whisper a soft, "Ok," but I'm terrified when uninvited, Kade takes Uriah's place beside me. The thin fabric of his shirt is barely enough to keep him warm; he slowly glides his hands down the pockets of his jeans after having vigorously rubbed them together.

I feel my heart racing in my chest and I try to control my breathing to slow it down. As much as I had hoped for it, I never anticipated that I would actually get a moment alone with Kade. I resist the urge to shove my hand down my pocket and take out the syringe I stole just for him.

"Beautiful view," Kade says to me. I suppose this is where the uncomfortable small talk begins.

"It is," I say flatly. "Where's Lola?"

He shrugs. "She wants to be alone." I would too if I was just forced to divulge my most painful memories in front of hundreds of people.

"Why do I get the feeling she and Jack have some sort of bad history?" I can't help but ask, but I'm already sure of it.

"They do," Kade says vaguely and then there is too long of a pause.

"Care to elaborate?"

"Let's just say if we didn't need him, I'd shoot him."

I roll my eyes. There he goes again, answering a question without really answering it. It's not that I believe I'm privy to information about Lola's personal life. It's that Kade is a mountain of secrets and I need to know if there are any that could ultimately harm us.

I move my hand from the rail but I hesitate. For a second I consider that maybe Kade has been speaking to Tobias but Tobias hasn't been speaking to me. After all, Tobias never did tell me what he knew about Lola. But my instincts scream at my insides and my fingers twitch at my side until I obey them.

Quickly, I slide my hand in my right pocket and flip off the plastic cover. And with one swift move I withdraw the syringe from my side and stab it into Kade's neck, just below his ear. He yelps and jumps backward, but it's too late; the syringe is empty and the blue fluid now runs through his veins.

"What did you do?!" He says exasperatedly. He rubs at his neck and pulls out the syringe. He stares at it and then stares at me. "Tris, please don't do this," he begs me, shaking his head.

I lean my side against the metal rail, the strong wind blowing my hair behind me. "Why? What do you have to hide?"

"Nothing that puts you or Tobias in danger," he answers roughly. "I swear."

"I'm sorry, Kade. That's not good enough." I say, and I wait patiently for the serum to take effect, knowing that when it does he won't be able to lie… or run. "I have a few questions for you," I begin. "Things that have been lingering on my mind."

Kade grabs the rail with both arms as his knees begin to fold; his arms tremble.

"Where'd you get the weapons for the attack?" is my first question. It never made sense to me that the factionless were so prepared for an attack. The Dauntless are the only ones in the city who are provided with weapons.

"We've been collecting weapons for some time now," he answers shakily. "Our scouts would bring in weapons that were poorly disposed of, or they'd steal them from drunk Dauntless if they got the chance."

I pinch my eyebrows together. "Why?"

Kade's knees almost fold completely, and he squeezes tighter at the rail. "We were planning an attack of our own," he blurts out and then breathes heavily into the night air.

"An attack against whom?"

"The factions."

"All of them?" I stand upright and fold my arms across my chest.

He nods unwillingly. "Yes," he says. "It was our intention to do away with the faction system."

I gasp. "And why exactly would you want to do _that_?"

"You know why, Tris," Kade answers, shaking his head at me. "It's a biased and unfair system that forces us all to conform to a single idea, one that we might not even completely be in agreement with! Why can't we be more than just one thing? And why should people be punished because they can't be squeezed into a category? I'd expect that you of all people should understand that!"

I scoff. "Don't act like you know me, Kade."

"Tell me it's a lie, Tris. Tell me that you didn't feel stifled every day you woke up and had to be incessantly selfless. Tell me that now, now that you don't have anyone forcing you to be as Abnegation as you can be, you don't feel free. Because the Dauntless in you, and all the other parts of you, can exist!"

"I don't need to tell you anything," I answer snappily, although I know he's right. "I'm the one asking the questions and you're the one with truth serum in your veins."

Kade lets out an exasperated breath and runs his hands through his dark hair. "Tris-"

"What was your plan?" I interrupt him. "Force everyone to be factionless?"

"We would have made everyone equal," he growls. "Do you think we enjoy being treated like animals? We live off scraps and Abnegation handouts, and for what? To stay true to a system that dictates who and what we should be?"

Kade stares at me, and as much as I want to disagree with him I can't. I remember how easily Marcus threatened my family into submission, how easy it would have been for us to become factionless. I remember the woman who administered my aptitude test and how she warned me that staying in Abnegation was the only way I could be safe. How ironic.

"So what changed?" I ask. "Why didn't you carry out your plans?"

"Because Jeanine beat us to it," Kade admits. "Lola found out she was planning an attack and at first we were just gonna let the city fall apart on its own. But then I found out she was targeting Abnegation, and our… efforts were diverted."

"Why?"

"We couldn't allow it," Kade says easily. "Abnegation has been the only faction in this city that has ever given a damn about us. We'd never just let Jeanine attack you without fighting for you. And then when I found Tobias, I…" Kade squeezes the rail even tighter, forcing the blood out of his knuckles.

"You what?" I ask carefully.

"I didn't care about the faction system anymore," he says softly. "I just wanted him to be safe."

There's a tenderness in his voice when he speaks, and even if he weren't under truth serum, I would recognize his affection for my husband is genuine.

"So what are your plans now? After we stop Jeanine? You still plan on bringing down the factions?"

"I'm still trying to talk Lola out of it," he says. "But she'll come around."

"What made you change your mind?"

"You and Tobias," Kade answers. He looks at me and says, "I really believe you can change things in this city. Tobias is not like the other Abnegation councillors, and you are far from the typical councillor's wife." He almost rolls his eyes at me but then he smiles. "You stabbed me in the neck with truth serum, dammit. I think that speaks for itself."

I ignore his compliment though I do appreciate it. "And what happens if you can't convince Lola to stand down?"

"Then she'll go through with it, but I won't help her. I've told her that," Kade says strongly. "I would never do anything to hurt either of you, Tris. I mean that."

I believe him.

"Why do you care so much about Tobias?" I ask softly, suddenly feeling a bit of remorse for what I'm doing.

Kade doesn't fight the serum anymore. Instead he rests easily into the rail and confesses, "I was in love with his mother. And when we were together I loved him like a son. I still do."

"Together?" I ask, raising an eyebrow. "You and Evelyn were together? While she was married to Marcus?"

"Yes," Kade admits with a frown. As much as I am curious, I don't pry, taking care to not be cruel. I already know where Kade's loyalties lie. That was all I needed. The rest is for Tobias.

"Have you told Tobias any of this?"

Kade closes his eyes for a second. "No."

"Well he deserves to know. If you don't tell him- I will."

"Tris-"

"I won't let you lie to him, Kade," I say insistently. "He's been through enough."

Kade is about to answer when the sound of an alarm cuts him off. Then on the loudspeaker a woman's voice commands for everyone to meet in the trial room. I suppose Jack Kang has finally come to a decision. I would hope so. I need to leave this place soon; I've heard more than enough truth for one day.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go find my husband. Thank you for your honesty," I mock the Candor mantra. It's the last thing I say before walking away and leaving Kade to stand alone on the rooftop.

* * *

 **A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Now that we know what Kade was hiding, how do you guys think Tobias will react to it? R &R xoxo**


	43. Unbreakable Passion Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

 **TOBIAS**

I enter the meeting room along with hundreds of boisterous Candor who don't seem to be anywhere near as anxious as I am about Jack's decision.

Tori and Uriah walk in behind me- Tori trying her best not to make eye contact when I turn around to look at her. I know without a doubt she was the one to ask Jack to confirm whether or not I had anything to do with the attack on Abnegation, even after I had given her my word. And now that the truth about my father is out, it won't be long before the surviving Abnegation catch wind of it. Then I will know for certain whether or not their allegiance to me has anything at all to do with him.

I swallow the thought; I have enough time to lose sleep over it. Right now I'll only allow myself to be plagued by the more pressing matters at hand- whether or not the Candor will support us, and whether or not Tris will speak to me anytime soon.

Too many emotions run through me at the same time and I clench and unclench my fists in an attempt to channel my energy elsewhere and maintain some sort of composure.

My eyes search the room for Tris as I walk and there she is, standing in the corner across from me beside Christina and Will. She leans up against one of the pillars and wipes her hands nervously against her pants. The decision to approach her is a difficult one, and by the time I decide that I probably shouldn't- not yet at least- Jack walks into the room along with his guards.

The chattering immediately stops and everyone's attention is diverted to the man standing dead centre of the room. Jack scans the crowd and when he finds me he calls me forward. There is a frightening silence as I walk to take my place beside him. He clears his throat and raises a hand in the air. It's almost like time stands still for a moment.

"We have considered all testimonies," Jack says; his voice echoing in the room. "And it is the decision of the governmental body of Candor that our faction stand in full support behind the only living Councillor of the city and join his taskforce. We are therefore relinquishing all support of the Erudite and their leader. We will reach out to the Amity and inform them of our position."

There are only nods dispersed across the room and I feel an enormous weight being lifted off me.

"Any member of Candor who does not agree with this decision, please speak now," Jack insists, but the Candor remain silent. "Very well," he says after a while. "We stand united." He clears his throat again and says, "As we strive to further disclose all evidence in pursuit of truth, Jeanine Matthews and all others involved in her crimes will stand trial right here in this room, and their fate will be decided by the city's true leader."

And then, out of nowhere, the weight returns. Jeanine's fate in my hands means I must somehow singlehandedly come up with a suitable punishment for all she has done, and there is no such thing. Justice to the Dauntless means death while the Abnegation would never encourage such a thing.

"Also, in the case of Lola Cartwright, I declare her innocent," Jack adds in a much softer tone. "In light of all that has been uncovered here, I rule that on her part there has been no crime committed." And with that he swings on his heels and walks toward the door, not caring that neither Kade nor Lola are present.

The room is eerie and painfully quiet as everyone begins to file out.

* * *

We leave Candor only minutes after Jack has given the verdict. One would think we'd at least be celebrating on the way home, but it's a sombre moment. The ride is rough but dark and quiet; the reality of an impending war seems to sober us all.

Just like when we came, Tris is standing on the other side of the train car and Uriah is beside me, where _she_ should be. Only this time, she _does_ look at me. She doesn't smile at me, but her face isn't pained or hurt or angry like before. I had even noticed her glancing at me on the way to the train tracks.

I can only hope that means she's on her way to forgiving me.

So much has happened in the past twenty-four hours, yet all I can seem to think about is making things right with my wife. I don't know what she made of my confession while under truth serum, but I pray that knowing the truth about how I feel will make moving on from this a little bit easier.

The others are riding the train back to Dauntless, but I have other plans in mind, so as it slows just as we begin to approach the Dauntless compound, I walk over to her. The wind blows her golden hair across her face. She looks angelic.

Feeling brave, I reach for her hand. "Will you come with me?" I ask her just loud enough to be heard over the wind and the rattling of the wheels over the tracks.

Tris turns to face me completely. She shivers a little. Her pants look warm, but her blouse has short sleeves and the fabric is thin. There are only four buttons down the middle that are keeping it together. Tris' blue eyes sparkle in the night and staring at me, she nods and takes my hand. "Ok," she says.

I let out a breath I didn't even realize I was holding and my racing heart begins to slow. My body had been tense, fearful of her rejection.

I move closer to her and steady her against the wall as the train flies on the tracks. I know she's strong enough to stand on her own two feet; I just miss her. I miss being close to her. I miss the scent of her hair beneath my nose and the feel of her skin beneath my palm. When Tris glides both her arms around my waist and rests her head on my chest, I know she misses me too.

None of the others say anything to us as they all begin to jump out of the train. Nor does Tris ask where we're going. I think she already knows I'm taking her home.

When we're alone, I take off my jacket and I wrap it around her. I sit on the floor and bring her to sit in my lap. She rests her legs on either side of mine and sits to face me. Slowly, I run my fingers through her hair.

More than ready to have my wife back, I take a deep, calming breath.

"I know you're mad," I begin. "And you have every right to be. I'm sorry I didn't believe you, Tris. I should never have let something like that come between us. It was stupid of me."

Her eyes begin to gloss over as she bites her bottom lip.

"I don't want you to ever feel like I don't respect your feelings or your opinions," I continue. "Because I do. You are the most important person in the world to me." I brush my fingers against her cheek. "Please tell me you know that."

My eyes plead with hers for an answer. But Tris looks away from me, fighting back tears.

"Tris?" I ask softly. I rest my hands in the palm of her back and bring her closer to me. Seeing her like this breaks my heart and it makes me want to hit myself for being such an idiot. I've made her doubt herself. I've made the most amazing woman on Earth feel like less than that.

"Is that what you really want though?" she asks me, her voice breaking. "Am _I_ what you really want?"

I shake my head because I don't want to believe what I think she's asking me. Her question makes me hate myself more than I already did.

"T-Tris…," I stammer her name, lips trembling. "I could never feel for _anyone_ what I feel for you. You will always be the only one I want, and if you doubt that for even a second then that's my fault for not telling you often enough. I love you," I say forcefully. " _You_. Not Emily, not any other person. I only love _you_." Gently, I take her face between my palms. "How could I ever want her?"

Looking away from me again, Tris sniffles. The moonlight pierces through the open door and illuminates her sad but beautiful face. "I know you don't want her, Tobias. It's just that…" and a tear finally makes it way down her cheek.

"Just that what?"

"All I kept thinking about, from the moment this all started, was that you didn't choose me. Marcus did. And maybe if you had gotten to know Emily better, you…," she shrugs. "Maybe you might have chosen her instead."

It's almost blasphemous- Tris suggesting that I love her by default and not because of the billion and one reasons I have to love her. Emily could never compare to her, not in this world or in any other.

Letting out a breath, I brush her tears away gently with the side of my fingers. "Have you forgotten the day I got on my knees and asked you to be my wife?" I will never forget it. I was so terrified to tell her how I felt about her, but not more than I was of losing her.

"I'll never forget that day," Tris answers softly and with a small smile. "You told me you wanted to wake up beside me every morning and fall asleep beside me every night. You said you wanted to be with me forever."

"And I meant every word of it, Tris," I say strongly. She finally looks up at me again and I capture her eyes with mine. "I never chose to marry you, but I chose to stay just as you did. Not by default as if there's no one else available to me. I fell in love with you. I _am_ in love with you and I stay with you every day that I wake up, every day that we fight or disappoint each other because I choose _you_ over and over again and I will always choose you."

"Always?" she whispers back, choking on the word.

"Always," I answer. "I don't imagine myself being with anyone else. I can't and I don't want to. And I don't want you to ever forget how much I love you."

Slowly wrapping her arms around my neck, Tris presses her lips to mine. They are warm and sweet and taste like home. I deepen the kiss, pulling her into me and sending my tongue after hers as I pull on her lips and savour the taste of her mouth. With every swerve of my lips I pull her closer.

I've missed her. Oh how I've missed her.

"I love you too," Tris says against my lips when we both pull away to breathe. "And I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have pushed you away, but I was hurt and scared. Sometimes I look at myself and I don't see what you see."

"It's not easy for me either, Tris," I say. "I don't imagine anyone else wanting me the way you do."

"Why wouldn't they?"

"I don't know," I shrug. "I guess I've never really seen myself as… desirable." In a house without mirrors and in a faction where you're both literally and symbolically not to see yourself, confidence is a foreign concept. My father's cruel behaviour toward me didn't aid much either.

Tris gives me an eye. "Have you seen yourself at all?"

"I could ask _you_ the same thing," I counter, rubbing the soft skin of her cheek with my knuckles.

Tris is quiet but eventually nods in understanding. "Why are we both so stupid?"

I can't help but chuckle. "We're not stupid. But we _are_ still learning- about each other and what it really means to be with someone."

She nods. "I feel like Shauna and Zeke are light years ahead of us and they're not even married."

"But that's not our fault, is it? Nor is there anything wrong with that." Sometimes I feel like being born Abnegation put us at a disadvantage; there's so much we don't know. Other times I think it's what makes our journey together so unique and precious; we learn together and we grow together.

Tris shakes her head. "No, there isn't. And I want to continue learning about you every day for the rest of my life."

I can't help but smile a little and then I sincerely ask, "Does this mean you forgive me?"

She stops to think about it for a second and for a while I'm afraid she'll say no. But then she says, "I don't think you can be married to someone if you're not willing to forgive them over and over again. Sometimes you will have to forgive me too. And you already have, a million times, in case you've forgotten how pleasant I was to you when we first got married." She chuckles and then coyly bites her bottom lip.

"I _did_ forget actually," I admit with a smile. Tris and I have come so far from where we once were that I can't even remember a time when I didn't love her.

"Because forgiveness is not the point," she adds with a nod. "What matters, I guess, is whether we're still good for each other or not."

"And?" I ask, my voice and my hands a little unsteady.

"And," Tris says, "I think you will always be the only man for me."

"I will," I say roughly, and I slip my arms around her waist again and hold her tight. I kiss her again, softer this time, then I bury my face in her shoulder and close my eyes, just breathing her in. "I missed you," I finally admit out loud. "So much."

"I missed you too," she says. She glides her fingers through my hair. "As much as I tried not to."

"I hated fighting with you, Tris," I admit. "It's been a nightmare for me ever since I went through my fear landscape."

Tris leans away and takes my face into her hands. She studies me for a minute. "My greatest fear was losing you too, Tobias," she says. "You're all I have left in this world."

"And Caleb?"

Tris shrugs. "I think I lost my brother a long time ago."

When her eyes move away from mine I place my hands on hers which are still holding my face. "You will never lose me," I promise her. "I will always be yours."

Tris' lips find mine in a second, and again we share a kiss far too deep for a train car. My fingers grab at her hair and I only pull away when I remember this might not be the place to make love to her again after so long. So I just hold her there against my chest, running my palm up and down her back. She leans into me and her breath is refreshing against my neck.

"I promise to trust you more," I add. I've been a fool to take her lightly, especially knowing how perceptive she can be.

"I think we both need to trust each other more," she says. "You can't ask me to stay home and do nothing so I can be safe and I can't ask you to ignore every girl who wants to talk to you. I just need to remember that no matter what you will always come home to me the way I will always come home to you."

"I will," I say strongly, and I tuck her hair behind her ears. "And I just want you to know that I've trusted you with my life too, Tris. You are what kept me strong during the most difficult days of my life. I've trusted you to always be my reason to wake up in the morning and try harder."

"I'm sorry I said that to you," she says softly and her eyes sink along with her voice.

"It's ok," I assure her, rubbing at her hair. Then I whisper, "We're ok."

Tris buries her head deeper into my chest and I feel when her lips curl up into a smile. "I liked this talk," she says. "Talking is good."

"Yeah, it is. I feel inclined to ask your opinion on very mundane things, like which pair of socks goes best with my T-shirt."

Tris laughs a beautiful laugh and it instantly brings a smile to my face. I miss hearing her laugh. "And I'm inclined to say the black ones," she answers.

"Noted," I nod with a smile. Then on a more serious note I say, "Maybe you could start by telling me what you think about moving into Dauntless. Zeke says there's plenty of space, and it would be a lot safer than living out on our own. And you'd be closer to Susan."

She thinks for a while and then nods. "I'll think about it."

"Ok. Whatever you decide, Love."

Tris adjusts herself on my lap a little and then smiles at her own thoughts. "I think Susan might be one of my new favourite people."

I chuckle. "Mine too," I admit. "I've never seen her like that before. Scared me a little to be honest." And if that was _Susan's_ reaction toward Emily, I can only imagine what Tris would have done.

"She's practically all Dauntless now."

I nod. "Who would've thought? Just like that we passed our crash-course Dauntless initiation."

"And with flying colours," Tris says animatedly, pressing her hands against my chest. "I heard you only had four fears."

"Yes, and now everyone keeps calling me Four." I roll my eyes, though it would be a lie to say I don't like the nickname. "I guess it's some kind of record."

"Four and six," Tris says and she giggles into a small kiss.

"Six?" I ask with wide eyes. "You're pretty fearless yourself, Mrs. Eaton."

Tris blushes and it sets my heart on fire.

"So Tori wants all the guys to get tattoos to celebrate," I mention. "Maybe have a small celebration of sorts before things really begin to get ugly with the Erudite."

I'm not even sure if the offer still stands. Tori obviously still had some reservations about me. And even if it does still stand, I'm not too certain I want to 'celebrate' with someone who doesn't trust me.

"Tattoos?" Tris asks. She straightens her back.

I shrug. "Of course the majority said no."

"What about _you_?"

"I might have something in mind, yeah." I study Tris' face for a reaction.

Tris twists her head to the side and smiles at me. "You should do it," she says.

"Yeah?" I ask, somewhat surprised. I wasn't expecting her to agree so quickly. But of course she would; My Tris is as Dauntless as they come.

She simply nods.

"I'll consider it," I say, as if I hadn't already decided I would. "If anything, when I'm done," I continue, "I actually want to talk to Kade. Could you wait for me at Susan's?"

Tris smiles cautiously. "Ok."

I pinch my eyebrows together. "Is something wrong?"

She shakes her head. "No." But I know there's something she's not telling me. I can see it in her eyes.

"You still don't trust him," I infer.

"I do… actually," she says, her voice sounding pained.

I nod, but I know she still holds her reservations about Kade, and now that I know she was right about Emily, I feel a bit more inclined to look a little deeper, even if just for her sake. She's always told me she's certain he's hiding something.

"Ok," I say. I pull my jacket tighter around her shoulders and I place my arms under her shirt to warm them. "Would you get one?" I ask curiously, suddenly changing the topic.

"Huh?"

"A tattoo. Would you get one?"

Tris smiles rudely and wraps her arms around my neck again. "You'll see."

I give her an eye. "Where are you getting it?"

Tris doesn't answer. Instead she bites her bottom lip and playfully grins.

"Hmmmm," I say. "Here, maybe?" I kiss her forehead.

"Definitely not," she laughs.

"What about here?" I kiss her cheek. "Or here?" I plant a soft kiss on her lips and then on her neck.

Tris moans and tilts her head to the side to grant me access. But I'm far too hungry for her to stop and I brush my jacket off her shoulders. I rub at them as I suck at her neck and my fingers travel to her buttons, unhinging them one by one. I kiss her collarbone just as her shirt slides off her completely, and she leans backward, opening up her beautiful chest in front of me. Unable to resist, I lean down and hungrily take her soft breast into my mouth, and I nip and suck at her nipples.

Loudly, she groans, and I gently lean her backward until her back is rested against my jacket that lies spread out on the floor.

Tris stares into my eyes as she runs her hand up my stomach and gently pulls my shirt over my head, and I continue to nip and suck at her breasts while I slide the black leather pants off her body. She lifts her hips toward me and that's when I see it- the thin and sexy red fabric that hugs her body in the most ridiculously tantalizing way. She looks sensual lying beneath me and it triggers something hot and hungry inside me. I lick my lips as my mouth immediately begins to water and I feel ravenous.

Breathing heavier, I slide my hand down her stomach and seek out the treasure between her legs. Slowly rubbing my fingers in a circle just above her entrance, she moans as I increase the pressure. Then, pressing hard, I begin to slide my hand back and forth between her legs, wanting to feel her beneath the lacy texture.

Wanting more of her, I move her underwear to the side so I can touch all of her. But I'm unsatisfied and I want more; I want it completely out of the way. I grab the red lace and pull it down her legs, forgetting the cold of the night as I completely expose her beautiful body.

I slide one finger inside her, and then another, becoming increasingly aroused by the sounds she makes, the heavy breaths she takes when I stroke her, the way her legs just seem to open up for me. Still working my fingers inside her, I kiss her lips again and press my chest against hers; I reach my arm around her to pull her closer. We kiss frantically, insistently, and Tris moans sweetly against my lips with every sway of hers. My thumb grazes over her cheekbone and slowly cups her jaw, bringing her face even closer to mine.

Tris runs her hand down my jaw, then down the side of my neck, and I shiver at the incredible electrical pulse that flows through my body wherever the soft skin of her hand touches me. I gasp when she takes my hard length into her palm and begins to stroke me up and down. Her hands move in a frenzy and my hips begin to work on their own, bucking toward her palm.

I'm hungry for her and in awe of her as I look into her gorgeous eyes. She's brave, braver than I've ever seen her, and with a wild fire in her eyes.

I pull away only to bend down and taste the sweetness in her centre and she digs her fingers into my hair, pushing herself against my face. I lick her avidly, pushing my tongue deep inside her over and over again. I become hungrier the louder she moans, until I can feel my heartbeat pounding between my legs.

I come up for a taste of her lips, then thick and engorged, I slide myself inside her and I moan as the tightness of her grabs at me. It's been so long since I've been inside her that I feel insatiable and wild and I pull back to thrust harder, sinking myself deeper inside her. Tries cries out and she grabs my back, digging her nails into me.

She wraps her legs around me and moans loudly as I slide in and out of her, so loudly that I am utterly grateful we're on a moving train, miles away from where anyone can hear us. "Tobias," is the only coherent word she says as I take her, pounding harder and harder with every stroke. And as she cries out my name into the starry night, somehow managing to utter, "Please don't stop," I grant her wish, because I don't have the will to stop.

* * *

 **A/N: And there is your sexy lace underwear for those of you who have not forgotten lol I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter as much as Bamberlee did! And many many thanks to her for adding some sexy spice ;) Please review! I love reading your thoughts. Where do you guys think our favorite couple will go from here? Are they really ok? ;)**


	44. Unbreakable Passion Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

 **TRIS**

Everyone is gathered in a corner of the room- even the Abnegation trainees. Christina and I are both sitting down but everyone else stands in a make-shift circle. Susan and Will stand to our right. Caleb is the only one who stands off at a distance with his arms crossed and back pressed up against the wall. I try to not let the sight of him annoy me. He should leave if he has somewhere more important to be.

Cheers and shouts echo in my ears as Zeke and the others tell their colourful tales of Amity. Arthur and James stare wide-eyed at Lennox and Theodore as they divulge the hilarious details of their adventure. I only hear bits and pieces of it- something about doused bread and eccentric people. I'd love to hear more of it but instead of paying attention to them I'm staring curiously at Tobias and Tori who are engaged in a rather heated discussion. I imagine it has something to do with the interrogation at Candor.

Tobias, thankfully, doesn't waste too much on the Dauntless leader. He doesn't let her complete her sentence before deciding to walk over to me, right where I want him.

Tori throws a hand up in the air, but eventually she follows behind him.

"You guys done with your important people's meeting?" Shauna teases them. Her back is rested into Zeke's chest as he leans up against the wall. His arms are wrapped around her waist. Jax and Rhys, two of the Dauntless trainers, stand casually at their side.

"As a matter of fact, we are. You seem cross you weren't invited," Tobias says to Shauna with a handsome grin.

"Oh hell no," She answers. "We're having _way_ more fun over here."

Everyone's been in an awfully wonderful mood since we've all returned from our respective destinations. That might be because we all came back with good news. After getting the Candor to league with us, Jack didn't waste any time in sending word to the Amity about the truth he had uncovered. Their leader, Johanna Reyes, is apparently urging Tobias to meet with her.

Apart from that, it was decided that today will be our official graduation day from Dauntless training.

But the best part about it all is that I have my husband back; I smile and stand to my feet when I see him walking over to me. I take his hand and press him into the chair then I comfortably take a seat in his lap. I rest my back into his chest and his nose instinctively finds the crook of my neck. His arms easily slide around my waist as if it were a road they had travelled a million times. Our entire bodies touch and curve together at every angle, and I finally understand why Will and Christina always sit like this.

The feel of his breath on my skin vividly brings back memories of the perfect night we shared. The train proved to be only the first place Tobias would sink himself into me that night. Considering how small our new house is, I'd say it's safe to say the scent of our naked bodies marked every part of it. Although it was entirely coincidental I had worn that particular piece of underwear, I understand completely why Shauna suggested I did.

He still hasn't spoken to Kade as of yet and I've continued to resist the urge to tell him what I had learned. Beside the fact I'd much rather he heard it from Kade himself, quite honestly I don't think I could ever be ready for his reaction to it all. I feel guilty keeping it away from him, but a part of me is afraid he'll be upset when he finds out what I did. I think the best thing for me to do is wait and allow him to come to his own conclusions, especially since I'm not entirely certain what to think about Lola. I'm certain she is fighting against Jeanine, but she's also fighting against the factions. She is both for us and against us. I don't even think _she_ knows who she's fighting for. She's publicly stated that Tobias is rightful leader of the city and she's done so more than once.

"You ok?" Tobias asks me, bringing me from my thoughts. With my chin between his thumb and forefinger, he gently turns my face toward him.

I nod and press a kiss to his lips.

"Aaaaawwwww!" Christina squeals from beside us. She earns a playful glare from me. "I won't say I'm glad you two didn't let that little witch ruin you forever, but I _am_ glad."

"Where _is_ she anyway?" Susan asks with a scowl. She presses her hand into her hip. "No one's seen her since… You know…"

"Not like _you_ care," Uriah teases, pinching her lightly on the shoulder. Susan blushes so hard I think she might have just deprived the rest of her body of blood.

"Little homewrecker," Christina grumbles. "You know, I never did like her. She seemed fake."

"That's what Lynn said," Shauna adds quietly.

I shift a little in Tobias' lap and I feel his fingers tighten around me; I know just like me, he's entirely uncomfortable with the topic of Emily. But these are our friends and they are Dauntless. I figure sooner or later we're going to have to get used to how open they all are with everything. I let out a breath and sink even deeper into Tobias since that's always a sure way to relieve myself of discomfort.

"I haven't seen Lynn in a while either to be honest," Uriah adds. "And it's not like her to go quiet. Quite the opposite actually. And unlike Emily, Lynn actually lives here."

Everyone looks at Shauna at the mention of her sister. She simply frowns and says, "I haven't seen her since I've been back."

"She's probably livid you guys are gonna get tattoos and officially become a part of Dauntless," Tori butts in. Tobias glares at her from across the room and I think I know why. Though not everyone will be taking part, this gesture of acceptance into their faction means a lot to the Abnegation. I hope Tori knows it's not something she can just take back if she should ever start to question people's loyalties again.

"We're all getting tattoos!" Christina throws her arms up in the air.

" _You guys_ are getting tattoos," Susan corrects with a laugh.

"Come on. Don't be so boring, Sue," Uriah nudges her. Blushing, Susan tucks her hair behind her ear.

Last night I mentioned to Tobias that Uriah and Susan were officially becoming a thing. He claims to have had no idea but I don't know how. It's pretty obvious to me. He was far too helpful and she can't look at him without turning into a tomato. But my wonderfully clueless husband had taken Uriah's behaviour to be no different than his usual kindness.

I'm happy for them. Though an unlikely one, they make a good pair. Susan is different around him- freer, like the Abnegation shell she's been ever caged in has no hold on her anymore.

Caleb, whom I had almost forgotten was sulking in the corner, wrinkles his face even more and takes a few steps closer to Susan, as if she somehow belongs to him. His gesture is pitiful. I can't wait to see the look on his face when he realizes that ship has sailed.

"I _might_ consider it," Susan says to Uriah, overstressing the word _might_.

"What are _you_ getting, Tris?" Christina asks chirpily, turning everyone's attention toward me.

Surprised, I jump. "Um…," I begin but fail to finish my sentence. I bite my lip between my teeth.

"Yeah, what _are_ you getting, Tris?" Tobias whispers in my ear, trying yet again to figure out what I plan to mark on my skin.

"You'll see," I whisper back teasingly. Though I don't know exactly what I'm getting, I know that I want it to represent the people I love most- the immortality of our bond.

There's a sudden and loud cluttering in the room, and I soon realize it's the sound of Caleb clumsily making his way closer to us all. "What?!" he bellows, almost tripping over his own two feet. "Are you two seriously considering getting tattoos? What in the world has gotten into you?" His eyes shift between Susan and me. "Especially _you_ , Beatrice. You know, I'm really happy Mom's not here to see you." He eyes me up and down as if he were somehow better than me. "She'd probably die all over again if she saw you right now," Caleb finishes.

That's when I think I'll lose it. My face becomes so heavy it sinks and I feel my throat begin to tighten, cutting off my air. My heart stands still in my chest and my body becomes as cold and stiff as a corpse. It's been a few days since I've last felt crippled by the loss of my parents, and with only a few words Caleb brings it all back.

Tobias' hands grasp at my waist, and slowly he lifts me off his leg. Paralyzed, I stand exactly how he put me.

"How are you such an insensitive jerk?" Christina seethes loudly, and even Shauna and Uriah jeer at him as I stand in place, hurt and stone-faced.

Caleb shakes his head in disapproval at apparently everyone in the room, as if anyone had asked him.

When he walks out of the room Tobias takes off after him, and I take off after Tobias. Like a coward, Caleb walks a little faster when he realizes Tobias is behind him, but he doesn't get far.

Tobias grabs him from behind, twisting the collar of his shirt into his fist and forcing him to turn around. He slams him against the wall of the corridor and in his rage manages to lift him off the ground; Caleb's feet dangle below him.

"I've had enough of you," I hear Tobias say through gritted teeth. "You've proven yourself to be quite useless. The only reason I haven't broken your jaw is because you're my wife's brother. But if you _ever_ hurt her or speak to her like that again, I will kill you myself and deal with the consequences later."

Afraid but feeling brave, Caleb stares back at Tobias. "Oh please," he says smugly. "Like you haven't done the same thing. Nobody's forgotten your little outburst at the meeting. Don't act like it was so long ago."

I see as the muscles in Tobias' arm relax and slowly he lowers my brother to the ground. Pointing a finger in his face, Tobias darkly says, "Everything I do and everything I say is to protect Tris. I would _never_ do something as cruel as you just did."

"If you say so," Caleb answers, eyeing him up and down.

I take a few steps closer to them and that's when they both realize I've been standing there this whole time. Caleb scoffs and smiles rudely when he sees me, probably thinking I've come to save him. But not anymore.

"You better be careful of this one, Beatrice," Caleb shakes his head at me. "I told you he's too controlling… and violent. I never trusted him from day one. But no, you insisted-"

"Just shut up, Caleb!" I snap at him. My tone surprises even me. "And if you upset either one of us again, I _will_ give him permission to hit you." I walk up to him and with my newfound strength I shove my stupid brother into the wall before walking away. I only take about five steps before turning around to yell, "If anything, our parents would be ashamed of _you_! You should have just stayed in Erudite where you belong!"

Caleb's face sags as if he's just been dealt the world's greatest blow, but I'm far too hurt to care.

Livid, I storm off leaving my husband and my brother to battle each other in the hallway. Though I know Tobias is sure to follow behind me.

When the path in front of me blurs and I can't make out where the floor ends and the roof begins, I press my back against the cold wall and sink to the floor. I hold my head in my hands and I try to force back the tears, but it's a losing battle.

I silently curse at Caleb for ruining what had started out as a perfect day.

When I hear Tobias' footsteps closing in on me, I wipe the tears from my cheeks then run my fingers through my hair. It's even longer now that I don't have my sweet mother to cut it for me like she always used to. It's just another thing that has changed about me since she's been gone.

Tobias slows when he sees me sitting on the floor and he carefully takes a seat beside me. He slowly wraps an arm around my shoulder and holds my hand with the other. He presses his forehead against my hair and I can feel his breath lightly on my skin.

"He's wrong," Tobias whispers in my ear.

"I can't believe he said that to me," I choke out.

"He's wrong, Tris," Tobias says again, but firmer this time and his voice is deeper. "Your parents would be so proud of you- proud of who you've become."

But what if Caleb _isn't_ wrong? What if my mother and father would look at my black clothes and feel ashamed of me? With my exposed skin and loose hair, would they even recognize me at all? I am no longer the girl they left behind; they will never know me as I am now.

"They always knew you were meant for greater things," Tobias adds. "You were different from the very start, and still they loved you with their every breath. Don't you ever forget that."

"I wish they were here," I confess to him.

"They will always be with you, Tris… Just like _I_ will always be with you."

With tears rolling down my cheeks, I turn my face to look at my husband. His eyes are dark but kind, fierce but sympathetic. He rubs his thumb back and forth over my collarbone as he squeezes lightly at my shoulder.

I remember the last time I spoke to my mother and how she told me Tobias and I would need each other more than ever, and that there was no other man in Abnegation she thought would be right for me the way he is. I wish I could tell her how right she was, but then I smile at the thought that my mother was never a woman who needed validation; she knew what she knew.

Pressing my palm against Tobias' cheek, I look into his penetrating eyes and say, "I love you." The words come from the deepest part of my heart, the same part that ached when I couldn't sleep at night, when I was tormented by nightmares of gunfire and blood. The same part that only found solace in the arms of my sweet Tobias.

One last time, Tobias gently wipes the tears from my eyes and then his lips curve up into a small smile. "I love you too," he says.

Things are difficult to say the least, but I have everything I need right in front of me. And today is a day meant for celebrating victories. I won't let Caleb take that away from me.

Inch by inch, we close the space between us. Our lips touch, and as Tobias softly runs his hand up my neck and curves his fingers into my hair, I get goose-bumps all over my arms. The rough side of his tongue rubs against mine and it's like gas to a flame; the kiss becomes deeper- hungrier. I rub my hands against his stomach and up the side of his chest. I moan as my hands glide over the curve of his muscles. My body aches to be closer and I'm about to straddle him when-

"-Eh-hem," Christina clears her throat. I jump.

Giggling, Susan playfully jabs Christina in the shoulder. "Don't disturb them," she whispers.

"Too late," Tobias grumbles against my lips. Letting out a frustrated breath, he turns to look at my friends. Chuckling softly, I press my face into his chest.

Shamelessly ignoring Tobias' death glare, Christina asks, "So are we doing this or what?"

When she folds her arms in front of her and impatiently waits for an answer, I know my time here with Tobias is over, and he knows it too. He stands to his feet and, like I weighed nothing, he picks me up from the waist and stands me up beside him.

I fix the creases in my blouse before giving Christina a strong nod.

She smiles wickedly.

Sliding his fingers through mine, Tobias presses one last kiss to my lips. Without completely pulling away he says, "I'll meet you at home ok? I need to see Kade after I'm done."

"Oh, ok." I nod slowly. "I'll be waiting for you," I answer softly, though not for the reasons he might imagine. I'm more than nervous about how that conversation will turn out, not just for Kade but for me. Now that things are better between us, I don't ever want to fight again.

Slowly and painfully inching away from Tobias, I move toward Susan and Christina, but I don't take my eyes away from him. And the last thing I see before turning around is a blush, a sweet and handsome rush of colour filling my husband's cheeks.

"You two make me sicker than Zeke and Shauna," Christina mumbles. She walks a few paces in front of Susan and me.

"You're one to talk!" Susan laughs. Unexpectedly she interlocks her elbows with mine. "I feel violated every time you and Will are in each other's vicinity. He could be all the way across the room and you'd still be having eye sex with him."

I laugh louder than I had expected to and I clasp my free hand over my mouth to stifle it.

Christina turns around and playfully rolls her eyes at us. "Whatever," she says with a smile, then continues to lead us to the tattoo parlour.

Susan giggles beside me. I look at our arms swinging back and forth together and I smile.

"You know," she whispers, "when I went to Amity… I missed him. Like… I _really_ missed him."

"Uriah?" I ask, but it's a rhetorical question. Susan only smiles.

"I couldn't stop thinking about him and how I wished he were there to see what Amity is like. I think he would have loved it there. The people are funny and playful just like he is. I felt silly," Susan blushes. "I couldn't eat anything without wishing he could taste it too. Is that what it's like… with you and Tobias?" Susan looks at me almost reverently.

"Yeah," I answer with a smile. "Every minute of it. I'm really glad we're not fighting anymore. I hated it so much." I sigh. "That's the only downside to feeling that way about someone. The good feelings feel even better, but the bad ones feel even worse."

Fighting with my brother feels nowhere near as excruciating as it did when I was fighting with Tobias. And that's because anger and bitterness aren't the worst things a person can feel. I'll never forget the gut-wrenching pain I felt when I held my mother in my arms. It actually brings me to a closer understanding of Tobias and everything he does to protect me. I would never in a million years want him to ache so much for me.

"I hated it too," Susan says grimly. "You both took it pretty hard." She bites her bottom lip and asks, "Is it true… what Emily said about you and Tobias? Did Marcus really force you to get married?"

I feel a weight drop in the pit of my stomach. Although many times Susan and I spoke about these things, I'd never revealed to her the truth behind my marriage to Tobias.

I let out a slow breath and answer, "Yes. It started out like that… but then somewhere along the way things changed and we couldn't imagine ourselves without each other." It's a far too simple explanation for something that was so intense and complicated. But Susan understands. She smiles and steps a little closer to me. She slows our pace, putting a little more distance between us and Christina.

"It's almost too hard to believe. He really loves you," Susan says sincerely. "I can see it every time he looks at you. It sure does explain a lot though." When I look at her for an explanation she simply says, "You two never really courted, and neither of your parents seemed like the type who would allow you to forego something so traditional."

With a small smile, I shake my head at Susan. It appears even the most perfect Abnegation soul has a bit of curiosity in her.

"I wonder what courting is like in Dauntless," she adds. Susan stares up at the ceiling and smiles.

"You really like him, don't you?" I ask.

Susan blushes and nods. "I can share things with him I've never even dreamed of sharing with Caleb," she says almost excitedly.

I've realized that. I want to ask her exactly what Uriah was talking about when he mentioned to me at Candor that he doesn't know how Susan could ever forgive Lynn. But I imagine she'd have already told me if she wanted to. I suppose they're at that stage when they're starting to have their own secrets.

"That's because Caleb's a prick," I say under my breath.

"That he is. I should get a tattoo on purpose, just to piss him off."

When we both laugh out loud, Christina stops walking, turns around and eyes us curiously. I'm surprised it took her this long to interfere.

"Really though, would you get one?" I ask Susan.

"Still thinking."

"Think fast!" Christina butts in when we catch up to her. "We're almost there."

Susan chuckles. "What about _you_?"

"Well…" I begin. "Honestly I have an idea in mind, but I'm not sure how to portray it. I want to have something that represents my family, something that represents Tobias."

"For Tobias you could tattoo your initials," Susan suggests. "Since you're both T.E."

I shrug. It's not a bad idea but just like every other thing I've thought of, it doesn't properly sum up what it's like loving him and having him love me.

"And my parents?" I ask. What tattoo could possibly express the perpetual love that we shared in life and that we even share now after life? "How could I ever find a single symbol to represent all that they were- all that they _are_ to me?"

Solemnly Susan stares at me. But it's Christina who says, "That's deep."

"It'll come to you," Susan says with a soft smile. She squeezes my hand a little tighter.

Knowing she understands exactly how I feel, I find it easier to believe her or at least hope she's right; and by the end of the day all the love in my heart will be marked on my skin.

* * *

 **A/N: Happy Easter everybody! :)**


	45. Unbreakable Passion Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

 **TOBIAS**

It's early afternoon when the ladies are all finished, and our Dauntless trainers cheer on the boys as we all walk into Tori's place. Not all of us are getting tattoos; some are just here for moral support. To be honest, I didn't even expect that much from men like James and Theodore; but it just goes to show how much we've all changed during the past few weeks. Men who were once painstakingly Abnegation now flaunt a combination of black and grey apparel.

No one seems surprised or even cares that Caleb isn't here. After this morning he's lucky if I don't go looking for him just to bash his head against concrete. As much as I once thought he'd be vital when it's time to break into Erudite, I'm beginning to think we'll have to do without his help.

All Abnegation eyes wander around the room, staring at the walls which are covered in different drawings. Some of them are harsh and simple, like most of the tattoos I've seen on the Dauntless, and others are more intricate, detailed. I walk straight to the back, remembering where Tori and Lola were taking out the transmitters. A part of me cannot fathom how that was only just two days ago.

"Come around back, guys!" Tori calls out as she hears us approaching. I'm not particularly ecstatic to see Tori, but I figure we'll have to battle out our differences at one point or another given the circumstances. I lag behind while Zeke, Jax and Will cheer the others onward.

James takes a step closer to me as we walk to the back. Unlike the others, he's just as tall as I am, so it doesn't feel as strange to walk beside him.

"If I may be honest, Sir," he begins to say, "I initially thought training with the Dauntless was a bad idea, but I decided to come anyway, out of respect for your father. He would have wanted us to follow you."

I know it's meant to be a compliment, but his words sting. It's one of the things I fear most- that my people will abandon me when they learn of what my father had done.

"I also wanted to be able to defend my wife and daughter in the event of another attack, since I wouldn't trust putting their lives in any other hands but mine," James continues. "And I'm glad I did. Strangely enough, learning the ways of the Dauntless and even the Amity when I was there, I've found new meaning to what it means to be selfless. Almost as if I've spent my entire life focusing on the wrong thing, the wrong _kind_ of selflessness." He stares in front of him for a moment. "Does that make any sense at all, Sir?"

It feels strange having a man twice my age call me sir, especially since the streaks of white hair that flow between the dark brown ones on his head make him look a little older than he actually is. I don't correct him; instead I smile and answer, "It makes perfect sense. Truthfully, there is so much more we can be without forfeiting the fundamental principles we stand for."

James smiles. "You are young, Tobias Eaton, but you are wise. I believe much wiser than your father was."

I stop breathing for a moment when he says this.

"Thank you," I say earnestly, feeling a little more hopeful than I did before.

James nods respectfully and then walks up to join the others who are staring at a specific picture on the wall. I smile when I see it- it's the Abnegation symbol drawn inside a circular frame with jagged edges.

"You guys like that one?" A young woman asks. She's short, like Tris, with black hair and large, round earrings. She stands beside Tori who is not looking at anything in particular, most likely avoiding making eye contact with me.

"It's our symbol," Lennox says solemnly, his voice filled with unmistakable yearning.

I don't miss the way my faction-mates pine over what we've lost.

The room is reverently quiet until Arthur says, "I would like to have this tattooed on my shoulder." Everyone looks at him in surprise. He's always been the most timid one of us all.

"Are you sure?" Lennox asks him. "I thought you said you weren't going to get any."

"Abnegation will always be a great part of who I am. It's what I would have chosen and it deserves a permanent place on my skin," Arthur answers. It's a profound thought, not only because he's only fifteen years old, but also because although he might not get the chance to choose next year, he already has. Abnegation might not exist to everyone else, but to us it always will.

"And on mine," Theodore answers with a smile. And with a few nods and sentimental smiles, all the others agree to brand themselves with the symbol of our faction.

"Let's get started then," the young woman says as she walks toward one of the stations, tying up her hair in a knot.

"This is Becca," Tori cuts in, finally making an introduction. "She's helping me out because I'm trying to finish this today, not tomorrow. Tobias," Tori says my name softly, but not timidly. "Can I see you a moment?" Her hair hangs over the left half of her face and slowly she pushes her fingers through it, smoothing it backward. "Come with me. I'll work on you in my private stall."

I follow her only because I know this conversation is inevitable. I've already blown her off once for today.

When we arrive at her private stall, she just leans her back against the chair with her arms crossed. Obviously uncomfortable, she constantly shifts her weight from one leg to the other.

"Are you going to say something? Or…"

"Are you going to give me a chance to explain?" she counters.

"Fine," I say flatly. Not like I really have a choice at the moment.

Tori lets out a heavy breath just as she begins to justify herself. "I want you to know it's not that I don't trust you, Tobias."

"It's not? Then why would you have Jack Kang ask me such a ridiculous question?" I ask, taking her back to my interrogation. More than ridiculous, it was insulting.

"Because I needed my people to know," she says strongly. "You don't know the Dauntless like I do. It was necessary. If anything you should be thanking me, because once that gets around they'll be more loyal to you than they are to me."

I almost laugh. "Oh really now," I say with a hint of sarcasm. "Somehow I doubt that."

Tori rolls her eyes.

"Tell me something," I say to her. "Why are you really going after the Erudite?"

Her face wrinkles in surprise and she leans up off the chair. "What do you mean?"

"Do you even give a damn about Abnegation? Or are you just upset that Jeanine used you as her personal slave army? Or is it neither of those things?"

Tori gives me an eye and takes a step toward me. "I'm no Candor but I won't lie to you. I have personal business with Jeanine Matthews."

"So I heard," I say, remembering what Kade had told me about Tori's brother.

"But that changes nothing," she says insistently. "We're all on the same side here. And because of your testimony we have the support of every loyal Dauntless, Candor _and_ Amity. We are so much closer to ending this thing once and for all, and we'll need each other to do it."

I nod slowly. "And what do you plan to do after it's all over? When we don't need each other that much anymore?"

Tori crosses her arms in front of her chest. "You're worried the Dauntless will cross you once this is all over."

"I certainly wouldn't put it past you," I say levelly. They have no reason to maintain an alliance with us, and neither with the factionless considering their unspoken mourning for the Dauntless lives lost at the hand of the factionless on the day of the attack. That would require them to lay down their pride, and pride is important to the Dauntless. More important than reason or sense.

"You are forgetting several things," Tori says with a smirk. "The factionless, for one. Their leader is loyal to _you_ and crossing you means crossing them. Then there's the fact that Jack has named you rightful leader of this city. We go against that, none of the other factions will stand with us. Crossing you would be downright stupid of us."

"Well the Dauntless aren't particularly known for being smart."

Tori chuckles a little. "More importantly," she adds, "You've earned their respect… and mine."

"So I'm supposed to just forget that you asked the leader of Candor to confirm whether or not I purposefully had my own faction executed so I could be ruler of this city just so you could satisfy your people?"

"No," she says. "I'm saying that nothing was done out of maliciousness or contempt. It was all for the greater good and now that we've accomplished that I'd like to leave it in the past."

I raise my eyebrows at her. I believe, if anyone, _I_ should be the only one suggesting to let it go. I scoff under my breath but I don't argue.

"What do you say?" Tori extends a hand to me, and knowing full well that I cannot do this without them, I take it, but not before glaring into her dark eyes for a hot minute.

"Ok. Fine," I say. "But I'd prefer to never again have to explain my motives at every turn. To you or anyone else for that matter."

"Understood."

I feel smug. Three weeks ago I would have never dared to speak to Tori like this.

"Good," I say. Tori gives me a small but self-satisfied smile.

"So…. what are you getting?" Not at all hesitant to change the topic, she gestures at the different options spread across the wall, but I don't need to look. I've seen their ink, creeping over their wrists and arms and shoulders.

On the way here I racked my brain for what I might want tattooed, and where. I couldn't decide— my thoughts were too muddled; I want too many things on me. I want peace, leadership, my love for Tris. Right now my skin is blank, whole, but it doesn't match who I am and what I have suffered and still suffer; but if I mark it all I'm afraid by the time I'm done I will have more ink than skin.

"Follow me," Tori says and she takes me even deeper into her lair. She unlocks a door I hadn't even realized was there and lets me in. "I don't usually let people in here, just the ones I like." She smiles. I don't smile back.

When she flicks on the lights, I see the most incredible collection of art. The room's walls are covered in pictures. The wall across from the door is entirely dedicated to Dauntless symbols, some black and simple, some colourful and barely recognizable. But it's not anything on the walls that catches my attention, it's a drawing laid out on a table in the corner of the room. It depicts all the faction symbols without the circles that usually bind them. The Amity tree is at the bottom, forming a kind of root system for the eye of Erudite and the Candor scales. Above them, the Abnegation hands seem almost to cradle the Dauntless flames. It's like the symbols are growing into one another.

I imagine this is what our ancestors thought we would be when they created the faction system; not divided by our differences, but rather coming together to form a stable and multidisciplinary entity. It is the perfect depiction of peace.

"Let's start with this one."

Tori raises an eyebrow at me, but she doesn't object. She picks up the drawing, turns off the light and ushers me out of the room. Waiting for us by the door is Zeke, who is casually sipping from the shiny, metal flask in his hand.

We all walk back to Tori's stall. She turns on the light over the chair and arranges her tattoo needles on a tray next to it. Zeke grabs a chair and hovers over us, like he's getting ready to see a performance of some kind.

"Ok. Basic principles of tattooing," Tori begins. "The less cushion under the skin, or the bonier you are in a particular area, the more painful the tattoo. For your first one, especially one this big, it's probably best to get it done on, I don't know, your arm, or—"

"Your butt cheek," Zeke suggests, with a snort of laughter.

Tori rolls her eyes and grins. "It wouldn't be the first time. Or the last." Then, waiting for an answer, Tori looks at me expectantly.

I rest my hand on my rib cage remembering the bruises that were once there, the scars that are still there, and the fear I felt for my own life once upon a time; my father had a series of bad nights right after my mother died- It was actually then he started hitting me. It seems fitting that a mark of peace should cover up the scars of an intranquil childhood. I want to have some kind of reminder that while wounds heal, they don't disappear forever—I carry them everywhere, always, but I can redefine them. Instead of wearing the mark of my father, I will wear the mark of the factions.

"Here," I say, and I trace my fingers along the length of my back.

"You sure?" Tori says. "That's maybe the most painful place possible."

"I'm sure," I answer, and Zeke begins to hoot and holler.

Tori sits on the stool next to me and puts on a pair of rubber gloves. I sit forward and lift my shirt over my head. Usually I would never do such a thing; no one but Tris has seen my scars. But Zeke has become more like family to me; we've come a long way from the day we met when he suggested Tris was my sister. And Tori must see my scars if she is to cover them.

Tori soaks a cotton ball in rubbing alcohol, covering the length of my back with it. She's about to move away when she frowns and pulls at my skin with her fingertip.

"How did this happen, Four?" she asks curiously. She traces the scars on my back with her fingers.

I look up and notice that Zeke is staring at me, frowning. He's seen my fear landscape so I know he knows Marcus and I never had the best father- son relationship.

"Doesn't matter anymore," I say.

Tori eyes me for a few seconds, but she doesn't ask again. Instead, she turns on the needle, filling the air with the sound of buzzing.

"You might need this." Zeke tosses me his flask and I take a sip. I grimace as the unfamiliar taste of alcohol burns my throat and wince when the needle touches my skin, but somehow I don't mind the pain. I relish it.

"I knew there was something about you though," Tori says to me quietly as she works on my back. "I knew it the second I met you. You're brave. And you can't be brave if you've only had wonderful things happen to you." After a while she says, "Same goes for your wife."

I turn to look at her and she earns a small smile from me.

"Yeah, Tris is definitely badass," Zeke says with a smirk. I can't help but smile.

All of a sudden I'm curious. "What tattoo did she get?"

Tori only laughs at me. "That one sip of rum must have gotten to your head if you think I'm going to answer that."

* * *

Freshly branded with dark ink, I feel as rigid as a corpse. I walk with my back perfectly straight and my arms glued to my side. Every movement makes my back sting, but the need to know all there is to know about Kade before moving forward outweighs it. For my sake and Tris', I grit my teeth and bear the pain best I can.

It's already dark by the time I arrive at the alley and I knock impatiently at the door. I haven't spotted any traitor Dauntless around this area, but I don't assume they're not lurking around looking for trouble.

The large green door swings open, but again, it's Kade's uncle Rodney who stares me straight in the eye. The next thing I expect to hear is Kade's voice yelling at him for opening the door, like last time. Instead the old man grins and says, "You're Maddox's friend. I remember you." He sports a wide, toothless smile. "Maddox isn't here. But he should be back soon. Come on in."

I walk inside and take a seat while, without me asking, Kade's uncle fetches me a glass of cold water. It is much appreciated. Truthfully, I'd like a second glass to pour over the ink on my back.

With a smile he passes me the glass of water and watches as I drink it far too quickly. Peering around me, he stares at the ink peeking over my shirt collar.

"Well that's new," he says. "Is that why you're walking like you're constipated?"

I almost spit the water out of my mouth trying to suppress a laugh.

"I remember my first tattoo," he continues brightly. "I was a chicken so I got a tiny one on my left ass cheek. You wanna see?" He doesn't wait for me answer. Instead he turns around and grabs the waist of his dark brown pants.

"That's not necessary," I assure him with a tight expression, hurriedly pressing my palm against his, stopping him from pulling his pants down. "You remember a lot of things about Dauntless?" I ask him.

He nods but with a frown. "Sometimes I don't remember things, so when I do I like to talk about it. Maddox likes it when we talk about old times." Rodney takes the empty glass out of my hand and then takes the seat across from me.

I remember the last time we had spoken like this. He had mentioned a woman Kade had been hung up over. Since he's not here to send his uncle to his room again, I take advantage of Kade's absence.

"Last time you were telling me about a woman. Do you remember her name?"

"Boy, sometimes I don't remember my _own_ name," he laughs. "That was a long time ago. But I do remember her face. She was a pretty one- nice, tanned skin and wavy brown hair. Always used to come here with a baby boy. I don't remember his name either though." He smiles innocently. "Maddox loved that woman… and her little boy too. Broke his heart when they stopped coming 'round. I don't know what happened to 'em, but I almost thought he was gonna lose his mind like his uncle did." Thoughtfully, Rodney stares into my eyes for a minute. "It might sound crazy but you know you kinda look like her. What'd you say your name was again?"

"Tobias," someone answers softly, but it's not me. I turn around too quickly and it burns the freshly inked parts of my skin. Standing by the doorway is Kade, looking shocked and pale like all the blood has been drained from his face.

"That was his name! That was the little boy's name!" Rodney yells out in excitement, confirming everything I had suspected. "Such a sweet boy he was. Always laughing."

But Kade is nowhere near as enthusiastic as his uncle, and his voice is rough when he says, "Go to your room, Rodney."

Rodney freezes and looks back and forth between us for a while. "Oh my," he says softly. "Have I said too much?"

When Kade doesn't answer, the old man rolls his eyes and leaves.

I stand from my chair and boldly take a few steps toward Kade.

It doesn't take me long to put the pieces together. While telling me he was friends with my mother, he forgot to mention he was in love with her. I feel the familiar feeling of discomfort rise up inside me again. It comes from the thought that my mother had found comfort elsewhere, outside of our home.

"You loved her," I say to Kade, not a hint of speculation in my tone.

"Yes," he answers.

"Did she love you back?"

He lets out a soft breath and glances at the floor for a second. "I would like to think so."

"Were you sleeping with her?" I don't know where the question came from, or why the thought of it bothers me so much. Marcus surely never gave her the love I'm sure she craved- or deserved.

Kade swallows hard, but he stares me dead in the eye when he says, "Yes."

I feel like time has stopped and the air in the room suddenly feels cold.

"Why didn't you tell me? Why did you lie to me and tell me you were just friends."

Kade shakes his head as though the answer to that question were too difficult to formulate. "To be honest, when I recognized who you were, I wasn't sure how to approach you or what to tell you. I was feeling my way around it, but I wanted to be honest with you without... overwhelming you. And telling you that your mother and I were in an intimate relationship was a sure way to never see you again. Being from Abnegation, I had no hope that you'd take it well or that you'd even believe me."

Could that be it? Could the thought of it bother me because I'm from Abnegation? I'm not sure.

"What else have you not told me?" I ask sarcastically, not because I really expect there's more he's hiding from me. But when he walks toward me and ushers me to sit back down, I become anxious.

Out of nowhere I begin to laugh wryly, wondering to myself if Tris was right about Kade too and then hoping to God that she wasn't.

He takes in a deep breath before he says, "Tobias… before the attack on Abnegation, the factionless- specifically Lola and I, had a very different agenda." With this he earns my full attention. "Many years ago, we brought all the factionless together. I had a lot of time on my hands after your mother died and truthfully I needed a distraction." He pauses. "It was our opinion that we were being treated unfairly by the factions and we decided it was time to do something about it. The plan was to ultimately form a resistance against the factions, get them to accept us or force them to give up their way of life. We were tired of being treated like animals, left to die in the streets like we were less than human. We were about to start our own war; we've been preparing for years. But we caught wind of what Jeanine was planning and… we switched directives." Kade hangs his head a little. "Abnegation was the only faction we thought to leave in peace since it was the only faction that showed us kindness."

I'm speechless. All I can seem to do is stare at him. I don't understand why he never thought to tell me this.

"So after Jeanine attacked Abnegation," he continues, "I tried to convince all my people to forget about a war against the factions. It didn't seem like that big of a deal anymore."

"Why?" I ask flatly. "How could something you've been preparing for for years just not matter anymore?"

"I found _you_ ," Kade answers with a shrug. "My priorities shifted."

"Why would you consider me a priority?" I ask with speculation. He's hidden so much from me that I don't easily believe he considers me at all.

"Because you and your mother were a big part of my life," Kade answers. "Makes me feel responsible for you."

"Well you're not."

Kade laughs at this, a tense but real laugh.

"Something funny?" I ask flatly.

"Just the other day you were asking me for bedroom advice and now you're pushing me out of your life before I'm even a proper part of it."

I scoff. "I'm not pushing you out, you excluded yourself a long time ago. If you loved my mother so much, and you felt so responsible for me, why didn't I ever know you existed? Why did you leave me in that house after she died?"

When I feel my heart sink inside my chest, I finally realize why the thought of my mother being with someone other than my father bothers me so much. Because then it means that all the while I thought I was alone, all the while I thought no one knew, there was someone out there who could have saved me but chose not to.

"Honestly… at first I resented you," Kade says softly. He turns his eyes away from me and runs his hand through his hair. "I was caught between loving you and hating you. You were what tied her to Marcus and Marcus ultimately killed her. Even though it was a stupid way to feel- a grown man upset with a little boy for simply existing, it didn't change the way I felt." He looks up at me. "I was young and foolish and I made a mistake- a huge one. And even when I realized it, there was nothing I could do about it. I just prayed that Marcus would at least be a decent father to his son."

His answer upsets me far more than I thought it would have, but that might be because I'm already on edge. I'm upset that my mother was unfaithful, although I don't blame her. I'm upset that Kade lied to me. I'm upset that my mother had horrible taste in men, causing me to be abused by one and abandoned by the other.

"Well, he wasn't," I answer hotly and Kade's eyes open wide. "And don't tell me there was nothing you could do. You _chose_ to do nothing." I raise my voice a little.

"Your mother never wanted the factionless life for you, Tobias," Kade answers strongly. "And if I had taken you that's _exactly_ what you would have had."

"What about what _I_ wanted? What about what was good for _me_?" I stand to my feet, almost pushing the chair out from under me.

"I wanted to have you here with me! _I_ was what was good for you! But Tobias, you were _his_ son! You weren't mine to take!"

"So you were being considerate of Marcus," I say sarcastically.

"Considerate of him?! I hated him!"

"And you think I didn't?"

"Not the way I did. You couldn't possibly," he says almost angrily. "Do you know what it was like to watch another man have everything that I wished was mine- everything that I loved, and instead of taking care of her like he was supposed to, he hurt and abused her over and over again when he was the one person who was supposed to love her?"

"No, I don't," I answer levelly. "But I _do_ know what it's like to be hurt and abused over and over again by the one person who was supposed to love me."

Kade's face falls in the worst way and he gasps and mutters, "Tobias… I didn't think he would…"

"You thought wrong." I feel tears well up in my eyes when I say, "And you could have done a lot more than just watch. Maybe my mother would still be alive if you had."

"That's not fair," Kade blurts out. "It was far more complicated than that."

"Was it?"

Kade lets out a breath and closes his eyes for a minute. "Tobias," he says. "Just know that if I had my way, you both would have been here… with _me_ … and your father wouldn't have been an issue."

I shake my head. "You know… Living factionless would have been better than living with Marcus. But he's the reason I ended up marrying Tris. So I guess I should be thanking you for staying away. Because Tris is the best thing that's ever happened to me."

And with that I begin to walk away from him just as he walked away from me all those years ago.

"Tobias," he chokes just as I arrive at the door. "I'm so sorry. If I had known I would have come for you. I swear it."

"It doesn't matter now," I answer with my hand on the doorknob. "I survived even though you never came to get me." And the worst part is that even after everything, the five year old boy in me still wishes he had.


	46. Unbreakable Passion Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

 **TOBIAS**

I drag my feet on the way home- because I'm tired, because I'm restless, because I don't know what I will say to Tris when I get there. I don't know what she'll say when I tell her she was right and Kade was not being completely honest with us. I don't imagine her being the type to say _I told you so_ , especially now that things are better between us, but I won't lie and say I don't deserve it.

I immediately begin to question every decision I've ever made. I get the familiar feeling that I'm not fit for this- I shouldn't be leading a faction, not when I'm so easy to fool.

I take a couple deep breaths before taking the last few steps toward the house. The place is completely dark and I imagine Tris is already asleep.

I'm quiet when opening the door, slowly pushing it open so it doesn't make a sound. The light from the street barely illuminates the small living room, but I still see Tris' tiny silhouette spread out across the small sofa. I take slow and soft steps toward her, careful not to wake her, feeling a bit guilty she tried to wait up for me.

Bending down, I slip one arm around her shoulders and another underneath her knees and I slowly lift her from the sofa. I'm careful but she still stirs awake.

"Tobias," Tris says groggily and with a small smile. "I was just about to send out a search party."

I chuckle softly and press a kiss to her forehead. "Yeah?" I ask her, but she doesn't answer. Her breathing evens out and I realize just like that she's gone back to sleep in my arms.

I can barely see where I'm going, but I'm not about to trip over something or walk into a wall, so I take my time on the way to the bedroom. It's not as difficult as I would have expected; either I've gotten stronger or Tris has gotten lighter.

She grunts a little when I set her down on the bed, then she shuffles and turns on her side to sleep. She curls into a ball, most likely from the cold; she's wearing nothing but her underwear and a tank top. After pulling the covers over her, I climb in on the other side. At first I lie down to face her, but the burning feeling in my back reminds me I have a large tattoo only hours old. I decide to sleep on my front like I used to when my father would whip my back.

Sleep eludes me as my mind swirls. For most of the night I just lay there juggling my racing thoughts. I watch my wife breathe in and out and I watch as her lips twitch as she dreams. I let her be since she isn't having nightmares anymore.

Nights like tonight are when I'm most grateful for Tris. Even though the world is falling apart around me, my mind is uneasy, my body is restless and I don't know who's really in my corner, I know that- if no one else- Tris will be there. When I have nothing else to look forward to, just being able to lie beside her is reason enough to be content. So it doesn't matter if I have no one else, because I don't need anyone else. Everything is ok as long as _we_ are.

* * *

Morning finds me incredibly tired and glad that our trip to Amity is not until tomorrow. I'd rather not meet their leader, Johanna Reyes, with dark bags under my eyes and not being able to stand up straight without wincing. I'm free to close my eyes and try to get some more sleep, but the angel sleeping in front of me makes me decide it's better to be awake.

Tris sleeps in later than she usually does. I imagine because she was up waiting for me. Tenderly, I run my fingers through her hair and admire the way her lips are slightly pursed open. I'd kiss her if I were sure it wouldn't wake her.

When my hand lands on her shoulder, I notice a trail of dark ink peeking out just below her collarbone. I can't make out what it is since her top covers most of it. Carefully, I try to move it to the side, but she stirs awake the second she senses my hand on her.

I'm caught in the act but I try to play it off, rubbing the curve of her neck with my knuckles.

"Good morning," Tris says with her eyes half open.

"Good morning, Love."

I kiss her softly on her forehead and pass my hand over her hair. She yawns and stretches a little before she slowly comes to. The covers slide off her, exposing the skin of her stomach and legs.

I groan with want- out loud I'm sure- and then I rub my hand down the length of her soft skin. For a moment I wonder if she decided to wear that piece of underwear on purpose, then I decide I don't care.  
I never thought a piece of clothing could have that effect on me. This one is blue, much like the red one she had worn the other night.

I slip my hand under the lace and Tris giggles herself awake.

"I like these. I really… _really_ like these," I say darkly as I cock an eyebrow at her.

Playfully, Tris pulls the cover back over herself, leaving only her head exposed. I chuckle. She smiles at me for a few seconds before climbing out from under the covers, then she reaches over to the drawer by the bedside and pulls it open. When she takes out a small, round container of tiny pills I ask, "What's that?"

Tris gasps in surprise and her eyes open wide. "Oh. Um," she begins. "It's birth control." Her cheeks flush with embarrassment as do mine.

"Oh," I answer softly. "I guess that's useful."

She nods carefully before swallowing it. "Shauna gave it to me."

My eyebrows furrow. "She just… _gave_ it to you?"

"I guess she figured I'd need it," Tris shrugs. "It's scary how open they are about these things. They have entire conversations with explicit detail while I can barely say the word _sex_ without feeling like I've said something wrong."

I can relate. I've listened to our Dauntless trainers talk endlessly about the things they do with women. I don't know how they do it. I'd like to think the moments I share with Tris should be ours and ours alone.

"I know what you mean," I say with an insincere chuckle.

Tris bites her lip nervously and smiles, but then it slowly fades. "What's wrong? Is everything ok?" She asks me after staring at me for only a few seconds. I suppose I'm no good at masking my feelings. Or maybe she's just that good at reading them. Either way, I'd rather pretend nothing was wrong at all and just lie here with her. "If it's about the pills, I'm sorry I didn't tell you about it. I-"

"No," I interrupt her. "It's not that."

Tris climbs closer to me in the bed. "Then what is it?" she asks.

I shrug, not having any idea how to answer. Truth be told I don't know where to start.

It's more than just Kade and the fact that he lied to me. It's that I seem to trust all the wrong people. It's that everyone else seems to trust _me_ , the youngest councillor ever elected, to somehow deliver this city out of the chaos it has found itself in. And how am I to ever come up with a suitable sentence for Jeanine Matthews? And who is to say the Dauntless won't turn their backs on me when I decide to spare her life? Who is to say the Abnegation won't abandon me when they find out my father is the reason for their pain?

"There's so much I need to tell you, Tris," I say.

Concerned, she sits up in bed and stares at me. "Tobias-" she begins, but is interrupted by a sudden loud and frantic banging on the front door.

I jump out of bed quickly, having no idea who it could be.

"Stay here," I urge Tris, knowing full well she won't listen. I grab my handgun from the drawer and quietly make my way toward the front door.

As I get closer I hear Zeke's voice behind the knocking, calling my name. I run to the door now, thinking he might be in trouble, and I don't hesitate to unlock and swing it open. His eyes open wide with relief when he sees me.

"Four!" Zeke says breathlessly. "You need to come to Dauntless. ASAP."

"Did something happen?" I ask as I quickly usher him inside and close the door. I tuck the gun inside the waist of my pants.

"We have a problem," Zeke says and he pulls an envelope out of his jacket and passes it to me. Inside is a pearly white piece of paper, thicker than usual, and folded in half. I take it out to read its contents.

 _Dear Councillor Eaton_

 _I was beyond overjoyed when I received word that you and your wife are not only still alive, but are now seeking to re-establish some sort of government system. I was saddened, however, when it was brought to my attention that you believe I was somehow responsible for the atrocious events that devastated your faction. Be advised these allegations are false, and if you would allow me, I would be more than willing to answer any questions you might have. We are free to discuss these matters with diplomacy, after all. I'd rather you not storm into my facility with your Factionless-Dauntless-Abnegation army. I am aware you are to travel to Amity tomorrow to speak to their leader. Feel free to arrange a visit to Erudite as well upon your return. Or better yet, before your departure.  
Please note that I am truly glad there are surviving members of Abnegation. Every faction plays an important role in our survival. That being said, you might need to reconsider your current place of lodging. I have been advised by well-informed prior occupants that the Dauntless structure is unsafe. It would be a shame if all that is left of Abnegation were to be lost along with half of Dauntless in a horrific cave-in. I would love to hear from you by the end of the day.  
My condolences on the loss of your father. He was a great man to whom I owe much. _

_Jeanine Matthews_

Loudly, I let out a guttural growl and yell, "Damn her!" I'm tempted to rip the letter to shreds and only decide to not do so when I remember it is the only bit of evidence I have that it was ever written. "So she knows," I say thickly.

Zeke nods. "And she isn't going down without a fight. That letter is a threat and I know you know it."

"What letter?" I suddenly hear Tris ask as she walks up behind us. Fully clothed and pulling up her hair behind her head, Tris walks directly to my side and touches my arm, just above my elbow. She stares curiously at my angry face.

I pass her the letter to read.

"Tori's calling an emergency meeting. You both need to be there," Zeke urges as Tris skims through the letter with a mixture of horror and rage on her face.

"I can't believe she even had the nerve to write this!" Tris says angrily. "How did you find it?"

"It was delivered to Dauntless this morning. And that's not all," Zeke says. "The Erudite have also released another article that has been personally delivered to the heads of Candor and Amity."

Tris scoffs. "An article saying _what_ exactly?"

"It doesn't matter what it says," I answer determinedly. "Jeanine will stand trial at Candor and she will pay for what she's done." I shake my head in disgust and grab my jacket from the rack beside the door. "Let's go."

* * *

" _We are free to discuss these matters with diplomacy, after all_ ," Tori mocks. "We are _way_ past diplomacy! She's lucky if we don't blow her brains out! After everything she's already done and now she's threatening us?!"

The emergency meeting is better attended than I had expected it to be, and everyone inside it is livid. Both Dauntless and factionless stand around with their arms crossed and faces twisted in disgust at the leader of Erudite's new move. The Abnegation just shake their heads and stare at the floor.

"She has some serious nerve," Lola inputs. "But I'm not surprised."

"Seems like a pretty stupid move to me," Lynn, who seems to have appeared out of nowhere after not having been seen for days, mutters in the corner. "She sent a direct message and left it where she knew we would find it. Isn't that a bit self-incriminating?"

Lola shakes her head. "No. She doesn't outrightly say anything. Any Candor reading that letter would tell you perceiving it as a threat is mere speculation, and Jeanine knows that. That letter, however, is a statement." Lola looks at me and crosses her arms. "She wants you to know that she knows everything, including where you are, and she's called you out."

Jeanine knowing everything means she's also aware she's to stand trial at Candor and I am to be her judge. I wonder, "How do you think she came to find out? I thought everything said in Candor was confidential."

"Ha," Lola says blandly. "I told you. Word travels. Which means she knows about me too." Lola doesn't seem to be as bothered about that fact as she was at the Candor interrogation. I guess Kade managed to convince her she didn't need to spy on the Erudite any longer.

I suddenly realize my absentee almost step-father is not here.

"She knows about all of us," Shauna says.

"You think one of the Candor sold us out?" Christina asks with both eyebrows lifted high. "That would be a bit out of character for them. Especially now that they know the truth, no true Candor would ever support Jeanine."

"Well the Candor aren't particularly known for keeping their mouths shut," Caleb mumbles from the corner. Christina just rolls her eyes at him.

As much as I want to hit him for even daring to speak in my presence, he might have a point. But I also agree with Christina. I don't think one of the Candor sold us out. I think it's far more likely it was someone right in this room. How else could Jeanine know I was to meet with Johanna Reyes tomorrow? We never revealed that to the Candor.

I might understand now why Kade was never too keen on working with the Dauntless; more than likely someone amongst them is giving Jeanine information, since I highly doubt it's one of the factionless or the Abnegation.

But who?

I don't make known my suspicions; I'd rather not alarm the culprit.

"I think she's desperate," Tris says beside me, making absolutely no acknowledgment to her brother's comment. "She probably already knows the other factions no longer support her and I'm sure she's realized half of Dauntless is no longer under her control."

"Oh you can be damn sure she's already figured out her transmitters are deactivated," Tori cuts in. "She probably tried to activate them the second she found out we were getting Candor involved."

"So all she has on her side are her microchipped Dauntless," Tris finishes.

"You make that sound far less threatening than it actually is, Tris," Zeke says. "Believe me, they can do a lot of damage."

"Yeah, but what is she gonna do? Kill everybody?"

"I wouldn't put it past her," Lynn says with a scoff.

"I think she's just gonna go after Tobias," Tris says. She turns to look at me. "She won't win in a fair fight so she's trying to draw you out. The only chance she has of staying in control is getting rid of you." The concern in her eyes burns just as strong as it did this morning, and she laces her fingers with mine. "You can't meet with her," Tris says softly.

"It's a trap," Uriah chips in.

"Essentially," Susan says softly from beside him.

I _know_ it's a trap. I haven't forgotten how Jeanine royally screwed my father. She has absolutely no intention of sharing control of this city with anyone.

"But," Susan continues, "If you _don't_ go, you'll lose Amity." When everyone looks at her she adds, "Amity won't back you up if they find out you turned down an opportunity for peaceful compromise, even if that was never what it was."

"So maybe I _should_ meet with her then," I say. "I'm sure the leaders of the other factions are expecting me to now that she's sent out an article professing her innocence. Maybe we can come to some sort of agreement about her sentence."

Lola gives me an eye. "You don't really believe Jeanine Matthews would surrender, do you?"

"Well what choice would she have when I show up with the other half of Dauntless and the leader of Candor?"

"I specifically recall her asking you to _not_ show up with your Factionless-Dauntless-Abnegation army. That article she released is to make sure you show up alone… or at least in peace."

"But if I do that she'll kill me."

"Definitely," Lola answers with a nod.

"So don't go," Tris says. She squeezes my hand and I can feel her eyes piercing into me. "We can still carry out our initial plan. We don't need to tell the Amity we have no intention of negotiating with Jeanine."

"We don't really need the Amity at all," Shauna says. "It's not like they're offering anything other than moral support."

"Exactly," Tris continues. "We infiltrate Erudite, we deactivate the rest of the chips, and then we arrest Jeanine."

"It won't be that simple though," Lola says. "She'll be on high alert now that she knows we're plotting against her." And now that there's someone in the room feeding her information.

"So what do you suggest we do?" Christina asks. "Sit here and wait for her to attack us? She knows exactly where we are, and killing a whole bunch of people is _obviously_ not beneath her."

"I'm not saying we do nothing. I'm saying we might need a better plan. Besides, she won't attack. She knows she's outnumbered." Lola shakes her head. "She knows where the Dauntless are but she also knows the factionless are scattered. We could pick them off one by one before they even arrived at the entrance."

"But she doesn't _need_ to attack us," Christina answers. "Did you not read the bit about the unfortunate cave-in that could kill us all?"

Lola smirks. "As smart as she is, I doubt she could really pull that off without incriminating herself. Absolutely _no one_ will see that as a coincidence." Lola turns to look at me again. "I agree with Tris. I think Jeanine is desperate and she's baiting you, Tobias. And even if it costs us Amity, I don't think you should go anywhere near Erudite. Not yet."

Tris eyes Lola curiously. It makes me wonder what she's thinking.

"Well she expects an answer before the end of the day," I remind them. "I suspect she'll be angry when she doesn't get one."

"Then let her be angry," Tris says, staring me straight in the eye. "She couldn't possibly be more pissed off than we are."

I nod.

"So it's settled then?" Tori asks. "We continue as planned?"

"Yes," I answer.

"Ok. But we'll head for Amity tonight instead. Jeanine won't expect that. And we'll take a larger group as well. Everybody goes armed."

"I'll tell Kade," Lola says, and then she glances at me for a second.

I imagine Kade has already told her about our conversation last night. The way she looks me in the eye makes me know she doesn't care that I know what their initial plans were. But if she did I'd tell her I have no ill feeling toward her; she wasn't the one who was supposed to tell me- _he_ was. And I have the rest of today to figure out how to be around him when I don't know what I think of him anymore.

When I turn my eyes away I catch Tris staring at Lola again. I seriously begin to wonder if she knows something I don't.

"Everything ok, Love?" I ask her.

Tris quickly smiles and presses a kiss to my cheek. "Yeah," she says. "I'm just gonna go say bye to Susan before she leaves."

"Ok."

It's only when Tris begins to walk away I become aware of the sound of loud footsteps as everyone files out of the meeting room. I start to look at all of their faces, wondering which one of them would betray us and why.

Walking in the opposite direction is Zeke who comes to stand right beside me. Folding his arms across his chest he says, "We have a rat." And just like me he begins to stare at every face that walks through the door.

"I realize."

"You think it could be _him_?" Zeke asks, nudging his chin in Caleb's direction. He's in a corner by himself staring at Susan who's talking to Tris and, more importantly, holding hands with Uriah. "He's very much still Erudite, you know. Proud and thinks he knows everything."

"Erudite, yes. Stupid, yes. But a traitor?" I think for a second. "I don't know." As useless and overbearing as he is, Caleb loves Tris in his own foolish, inadequate way. I can't imagine him doing anything that would directly jeopardize her safety.

"Well we'd better find out," Zeke says. "And if it _isn't_ your wife's brother, then I don't have a damn clue."

I nod and scoff at the same time. That's just what I needed today- something else to plague my mind. Bitterly I say, "I don't either, Zeke."

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you guys so much for all your wonderful reviews on the last chapter! And a special thank you to dianesnyder and springberry for reviewing all the chapters as they read along :) I'm glad you guys are still following and enjoying this story. A billion hugs and kisses to bamberlee who continues to bring out the best in each chapter :)  
Now... who's the traitor? ;) **


	47. Unbreakable Passion Chapter 20

**A/N: Hey guys! Just want to take a minute to thank you all for the tremendous amount of support we've been having over the last few chapters :) I couldn't believe it when we hit 1K reviews! I enjoyed reading every last one of them, and I can't wait to hear your thoughts on this chapter as well ;) Happy reading!**

* * *

 **Chapter 20**

 **TRIS**

I feel so paranoid walking through the streets that I turn around every two minutes just to make sure we're not being followed. Being mid-afternoon and without a single cloud in the sky, the traitor Dauntless would be able to spot us from a mile away. The factionless patrol these areas often, but with Jeanine on high alert and out for blood, I don't feel safe at all.

Zeke was right; although the micro-chipped Dauntless are all Jeanine has on her side, they can inflict a considerable amount of damage. They'd be able to take out all of our allies if given the order, though I doubt Jeanine would consider that alternative without first trying something far simpler… like taking out Tobias.

Knowing this, I squeeze his hand a little tighter and take a step closer to him. There's almost no room between us as we walk, and I know he senses my anxiety.

"We're almost there, Love," he says and he leans down and presses a kiss to my hair.

I know my husband; I know his selflessness. I know he would never hide away from danger if it meant other lives would be put at risk. But being as selfish as I am, I refuse to let him meet with Jeanine knowing what his fate would be. She'll just have to find another way to fight her war. She can't have him.

Luckily, with Lola's help, I managed to convince him that sticking to the plan was the best way to go. I can only hope he'll stick to it and not dare try and be a hero. As for Lola, after this morning's meeting, I hate to say it but I really do think she has Tobias' best interest at heart. Probably because Kade would never speak another word to her if she ever ushered him into harm's way. Makes it hard to believe she'd ever carry out whatever factionless revolution Kade was talking about.

It's funny how the things we thought were important immediately take a back seat when it threatens to hurt the people we love.

"Home sweet home," I mutter under my breath when I look up to see the small white house waiting for me in the distance. I walk a little faster, wanting to be inside it.

Tobias keeps pace with me and ushers me off the sidewalk and onto the stairs. When he closes the door behind me, he gently presses me into the corner and asks, "Are you ok?"

I nod twice. "Just a bit overwhelmed... I guess. Are you?" I counter.

"I don't know," he answers, understandably so. Things suddenly took a turn for the worst this morning. Not to mention we still haven't talked about last night. Somehow I feel the longer I put it off, the worse it will be. Maybe I should just come clean and tell him I know about Kade. Thought it's not that I've been avoiding it. We really haven't gotten a break to sit down and talk since yesterday.

Taking my hand, Tobias leads me over to the sofa and we both sit down. He presses a palm to my cheek and says, "I feel like the only good thing I have right now is you. Nothing else makes sense."

His words feel like a knife to the heart, and the secret I've been keeping from him now feels a thousand times heavier.

Just as I open my mouth to let it out, Tobias trails his hand down the right side of my neck and across the ink peeping out over the neckline of my top. I suddenly remember he hasn't seen my tattoos- any of them.

"Can I see it?" he asks, softly rubbing his fingers back and forth over my skin.

I nod and I slowly pull down the strap of my blouse and show it to him- my right collarbone, where there are three small birds in flight toward my heart. "For my family," I point out.

Tobias rubs his finger gently along the length of the tattoo. His hand stalls at the third bird and he looks at me questioningly.

I bite my lip and shrug. "He's an idiot but he's still my brother, you know?" Truth be told, I never considered not including Caleb.

Tobias nods his head and lets out a soft chuckle. "You can't choose your family, right?" he says softly.

I smile at him as I think about the ink tattooed beneath my left collarbone. "Sometimes you can," I say. "I chose you."

I pull down my other strap, revealing the mark I made for him- A pair of wedding bands entwined within an infinity symbol and the words _Not even death_ etched beneath it in impeccable cursive.

His face filled with emotion, Tobias softly reads the words to me. "Not even death?" he says.

"Not even death," I answer him. "I will love you for as long as I live, Tobias, and then I will love you after."

He smiles at me curiously. "Even after?"

I think of the love there was between my parents and how even now it continues to be. I can't explain it; all I know is that my mother never stopped loving my father and my father never stopped loving my mother, so it must go on. And I know it goes on because I feel it whenever I think about them, whenever I remember the way they would look at each other when they would set the table together or wash the dishes. I feel it in my heart, so strongly, that it gives me goose bumps.

"Love never dies," I say to him. "It cannot die."

And because love cannot die, I don't believe the people you love could ever truly die either; not entirely. They continue to live on in your heart and in your mind. And not in a way where they are reduced to being memories of a voice or a smile. The very essence of who they were continues to live on inside you, so much so that they can still guide you, council you, make you laugh or make you cry.

Throughout most of my pain I was comforted by the sound of my mother's voice reminding me that I am strong, because that is what she would say if she were here. So in some extraordinary, complex and confusing way, she is still here. She is inside of me and I will always carry her with me.

"You're right," Tobias says. "It can't. Because I can't imagine anything ever stopping me from loving you."

Leaning into me, Tobias' lips press against mine and he kisses me sweetly. He leaves a soft trail of kisses down my cheek and my exposed neck. When his hand slides under my top and across my back, I wince, remembering the third mark I had put on me.

Tobias immediately pulls away and eyes me with concern. "Are you hurt?"

"No," I shake my head. I spin around in the sofa and pull down my top a little more. The Abnegation tattoo on my right shoulder was a last minute decision, but it certainly wasn't a hasty one, and everything about it felt right.

There are times when I feel guilty for how much I've changed, how much I've seemed to morph into one of the Dauntless. Then there are times, like right now, when I don't. I've realize I am wrong to think all these changes are like wedges between me and my family that I can never remove. I am different, but I can choose to honor my old life as I embrace my new one.

"I have the same one," Tobias chuckles. "On my back. Most of the guys got that one."

I did notice last night he had slept on his front instead of his side.

"Really? Can I see it?" I spin back around to ask.

"Of course."

Tobias lifts his eyes to mine and slides the black jacket off his shoulders. He grabs the hem of his T-shirt and in one swift motion he pulls it over his head. When he turns his back to me, the first thing I see are Dauntless flames, covering his sides where his scars used to be. Then, along the length of his spine, are the symbols of each faction, Dauntless and Abnegation being the largest.

For a few seconds I look at the scales that represent Candor, the eye that stands for Erudite, and the tree that symbolizes Amity. It makes sense that he would tattoo himself with the symbols of Dauntless and Abnegation, but the others I don't understand.

As I trace my hand down the length of his back I ask, "Why all of them?"

"I think we've made a mistake," he says softly. "We've all started to put down the virtues of the other factions in the process of bolstering our own. I don't want us to do that anymore. I think if we're truly going to have peace in this city then we'll all need to learn to appreciate bravery, and selflessness, intelligence, kindness and honesty."

"Appreciate each other," I whisper.

"Exactly."

I brush over the Abnegation symbol with my fingertips. "You'll make a great leader, Tobias. Not just for Abnegation. For everyone."

Tobias turns around and smiles at me. When my eyes manage to break away from his lips, I notice the ink on the left side of his chest, right over his heart. It's the image of what appears to be vines and roots, with the entwined letters TE. I grin, remembering that Susan had suggested something similar. Softly, I press my hand against the firmness of his chest. "Your name or mine?"

"Both, actually," Tobias says, still smiling at me. "There's a strength in me when you're with me, Tris; you keep me grounded and focused. And I can't really explain it, but being with you makes me feel so whole that I can't imagine anything else ever feeling this right. We're two different people yet in my heart it feels like there's only an _us_ \- two separate souls, yet one."

"We are," I say, turning completely red at his beautiful words. "And conveniently we happen to have the same initials."

Tobias chuckles and then takes my cheek into his palm, slowly gliding his thumb back and forth. Staring into my eyes he says, "Thank you… for being by my side and always believing in me."

"I will always believe in you, Tobias," I answer softly.

I bite my lip, feeling even worse about still not telling him what I had learned about Kade. I do believe in Tobias. I always will. I suppose right now I have to believe he'll understand why I kept it from him a whole two days.

"There's something I want to talk to you about," I admit shakily.

"Me too," he says softly. "I… I found out what Kade was hiding." He shakes his head and I stop breathing. "You wouldn't believe it… or maybe you would." Tobias eyes the floor and runs his hand through his hair. He lets out a heavy breath.

"I would… actually," I say hesitantly, not wanting to opt out of my confession just because he started first.

Tobias gives me an eye. "What do you mean?"

"That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about," I answer. "Please don't be upset." I hear when my voice cracks and that's when I realize just how nervous I am. I want to be honest with Tobias, but I don't want this to be something else we fight over.

"I'm listening," he says firmly. He sits with his back perfectly straight.

I take a breath. "When we were at Candor, I cornered Kade on the roof and injected him with truth serum. I forced him to tell me everything, and then I made him promise to tell you." I swallow hard.

"Even the part about him sleeping with my mother?" He doesn't seem upset, but there is obvious disappointment and discomfort in his tone.

"He told me they were together and that he loved her… So I assumed that part," I say carefully.

With his face frozen, Tobias asks, "Why didn't you tell me before now?"

I nod and I feel nauseous all of a sudden. "I tried to… and…," I stammer. "I wanted him to be the one to tell you. But I was never planning to keep it from you, Tobias. I wanted you to know what I did."

I hang my head a little. Truthfully I would have felt better stealing the truth from Kade if I had found that he was our enemy. Knowing he isn't just makes me feel like maybe I crossed a line. All I did was rip a man's most painful secrets from his heart, much like what the Candor did to Lola.

But then again, Tobias deserves to know the truth; it doesn't belong to Kade alone.

"Are you upset?" I feel the heaviness behind my eyes but I command it to stay there. I won't cry my way out of this.

"Honestly, I don't know," Tobias says. He looks away from me. "You don't know what it feels like to be under the effects of truth serum and have no control while someone rips your secrets from you. It's invasive." He looks at me again. "But on the other hand, maybe he wouldn't have told me otherwise." He shrugs. "I don't think he would have."

"Still… I'm sorry, Tobias," I say. "I know we said we would trust each other more and do away with the secrets and this somehow feels like a violation of that."

Letting out a breath, Tobias presses his palm into my cheek again. "I know you had good intentions, Tris."

"I did," I say, maybe a little too quickly. "I don't ever want anyone to hurt you. I tried to do nothing, but I couldn't. I had to know." And that's when I realize as sorry as I am, I'm not. If I had to do it all over again, I probably would. If it meant making sure Tobias was safe, I _definitely_ would.

I'm not sure what that says about me.

Tobias smiles a small but knowing smile. "I know, Tris," he says. "I would do anything for you too. And I promised I wouldn't let anyone else come between us again. So… we're not making an issue of this. Ok?"

Tremendously relieved, I nod and press my palm into his thigh. There are so many other ways this conversation could have gone.

"Besides, you weren't wrong. You thought he was hiding something and he was. I guess it just wasn't what you were expecting." Tobias' face falls and I don't know what to do or say. I can only imagine how unravelling something like this would make him feel.

"Well not entirely. He did confess they were planning a war of their own."

"Do you think it's of any consequence? Do you think they'll still start a war against the factions once this is all over?" Tobias asks me.

" _He_ won't."

"You think Lola would?" There is unmistakable curiosity in his eyes. "I saw you watching her at the meeting."

I suspect Kade forgot to mention to Tobias that Lola isn't entirely convinced they should abandon their initial fight. But truthfully I don't think he's worried about her at all. I know I'm not.

I shake my head. "Believe it or not, I think I trust her. I don't think she'll cross him," I say. "If Kade stands behind you she'll support him. She loves him." And he knows it. I have gathered as much. However, I don't know whether or not the factionless would act on their own. I'm not an expert on all the dynamics involved when dealing with a faction of factionless.

"But he still loves my mother."

I shrug. "He does. But he obviously cares about Lola. I think he's afraid."

"Of what?" Tobias rolls his eyes.

"Being hurt again."

He scoffs. "So he hurts the people who care about him so they don't hurt him first. That's… noble. If he keeps that up pretty soon no one will care about him." There's an undertone in his voice that almost sounds like bitterness.

"I don't think he means to hurt anyone," I say, shaking my head. "That sort of pain… it changes you," I say, feeling a strange sort of understanding about the matter. "If I ever lost you, thirteen years wouldn't be enough."

"No. They wouldn't," Tobias says, looking dead into my eyes.

Sensing there's more to his feelings than he's letting on, I ask, "Does it bother you? Kade and your mother?"

"Not as much as it bothers me that I never knew about him until now. If we hadn't run into his crazy uncle in the alley that day, I probably still wouldn't have known he existed."

"Did he explain why?" To be honest, I'd always wondered how Kade could claim to care so much for Tobias yet he never did reach out to him before now.

"Said he thought I would be better off with Marcus, living in a faction. He said that's what my mother would have wanted. And when we met again he never told me because he wasn't sure how I'd take it… being from Abnegation," Tobias explains. He shakes his head in disbelief, but I don't entirely disagree with Kade's reasoning on that part. The Abnegation aren't particularly known for being open to infidelity.

"I think maybe he was afraid to push you away."

Tobias raises an eyebrow at me. "No. He already did that when he disappeared after my mom died, and he did it quite easily. And what, are you on his side now?" Tobias asks, though not unkindly.

I only now realize I've been defending Kade. I suppose after I violated his dignity by stabbing him in the neck with truth serum, I've tried to see things from his angle.

"I don't know. It's just that… you're all he has left of her. And God forbid if I ever had to live without you for thirteen years and then happen to stumble upon something or someone that made me feel close to you, I wouldn't want to risk losing it again either."

"I wouldn't have lost it in the first place," Tobias rebuts. "But anyway, it's not like Kade owed me anything."

I don't answer. I don't know the whole story, but I'm almost sure it was never that simple. I remember the look in Kade's eyes when he confessed to me that he loved Tobias like a son. It was profound. It was like he bore his heart in his eyes. And I have a feeling that affection was reciprocated; Tobias' reaction to all this says as much. I can tell he expected a lot more from someone he claims owed him nothing.

"What is it?" Tobias questions my silence.

I think for a second. "He wasn't lying, Tobias. He couldn't lie. And I saw it in his eyes. He really does care about you."

When you think about it, I am in no position to judge Kade. Just like him, I've done selfish things and then kept it secret, all because I was afraid it would drive a wedge between me and Tobias.

"I don't know if I believe that. I don't think this is about me at all," Tobias says. "Whatever Kade has chosen to do and continues to do is entirely about him or my mother. Not about me." He shakes his head.

"What if it is?" I say a bit insistently, amazed at how the tables have turned. Here I am defending Maddox Kade to an unwilling Tobias.

"If he loved her the way I love you, then it isn't. You said it yourself, Tris; love never dies."

I want to tell him there are different types of love in this world, but unlike me, Tobias hardly knows what it means to be loved by a parent; I feel it would be cruel of me to even bring it up. Besides, by now I've realized defending Kade is futile, and all things considered, I should probably drop it before Tobias remembers that he should actually be mad at me.

"Shauna did say that a woman will always be a man's greatest weakness," I answer instead.

Quickly, and just as unexpectedly, Tobias' eyes are nothing but black and he springs up so fast from the sofa that it frightens me. He hastily pulls his shirt back on and slips his arms inside his jacket.

"Tobias, what is it?" I urge him, standing quickly to my feet and adjusting the straps of my top.

"We're going back to Dauntless," he says firmly. "No one touches you, Tris. No one."

When he takes me by the hand and starts to lead me toward the front door, I pull my arm back and demand an explanation for his sudden change in behavior. "Tobias, what are you talking about?!"

He swings around. "Tris, I don't think it's a coincidence Jeanine mentioned you in her letter. She's letting me know she's fully aware you're alive and with me. She will use you to get to me if she has to."

"But how would she know where to find us?" This house is inconspicuous and at the very edge of the factionless sector.

"The same way she knows everything else that she does. Zeke and I are entirely sure there's someone feeding her information."

"Who?" I gasp. I'd already decided Lola could be trusted, and I can't think of another person who would willingly hand over information to Jeanine.

"We don't know yet," Tobias shakes his head. "It could be anyone."

"If that's true then we can't go to Amity tonight. She probably already knows that's the plan. She'll ambush us."

Tobias nods. "You're right," he says. "And we need to be with the others where it's safer. Come on."

He takes my hand again and the second we're out the door he begins to walk twice as fast. We practically run back to Dauntless and I feel even more paranoid than I did on the way home. I stare through every window and peer down every alley on the way.

Tobias only relaxes his grip on my arm when we walk inside the Dauntless compound, but even so he doesn't let me go. He walks through the corridors that lead to the living quarters, and at first I think we're headed to Susan's, but Tobias leads me right past her apartment. After walking through the fourth empty and unfamiliar corridor, I ask, "Where are we going?"

Tobias looks back at me but he doesn't stop walking. He looks incredibly tense even though we're already safely inside the compound.

"Right here," he answers, and we stop in front of a large door at the end of the hallway. It seems to be the only room in this section. Tobias takes a key out of his pocket and sighs when he looks at it. "Zeke gave it to me when he offered us the room," he explains. "Just in case."

I nod.

After Tobias turns the lock and opens the door, he ushers me inside first. The place looks a lot like Susan's, only it's about four times as large. The walls are made of the same brick, and there are several dark images and sayings on the walls, none of which make that much sense to me. The living room is spacious; there's a large glass centre table in the middle of it surrounded by a four piece sofa set.

Tobias closes the door behind us. "Apparently one of their leaders used to live here," he says. "It's one of the best rooms in the compound and they saw it fit that we should have it."

"That was nice of them," I say softly.

Tobias' eyebrows furrow at me. "You don't like it?" He turns to face me and takes my face in his palms.

"I do," I answer. "It's nice. It's just that… this was really sudden, Tobias. And I was finally getting used to the old place." I truly wish we didn't have to move around so much. I wish we could go home. I miss the feel of our Abnegation bed. I miss walking down the stairs toward the scent of eggs and tea. Maybe when this is all over we can go back there, back to our Abnegation house.

"Me too," Tobias whispers. He pulls me into his arms, holding me tightly and rocking me from side to side. As I rest my head, I can hear his heartbeat as it slams against his chest. His breathing has slowed, but he's still on edge.

"We're safe," I whisper to him. "I'll be ok."

He presses a kiss to my forehead. "You will. I won't let anyone hurt you. Ever."

"I know," I say.

Pushing myself up on my toes, I press our lips together and they meet in a sweet and slow kiss. Tobias runs his hand up my back and rests it on my neck, pushing me deeper into the kiss. Our lips wrap sweetly around each other, tenderly gliding back and forth as if molding an intricate piece of art. I moan in disappointment when he finally pulls away.

"I have to go talk to Zeke," Tobias says. "Don't leave the apartment. I'll stop and let Susan know you're here, ok?"

"Ok," I say with a playful pout, then I smile at him. "Hurry back."

His hands fall from my waist and he sighs. "I will," he says. He seems more relaxed for a second, until he takes a few steps backward and urges me to lock the door. I do, although I doubt anyone would be able to find me considering no one even knows we're here.

I stand in the middle of the living room for a few minutes, still taking it all in. We moved from there to here so fast that I'm still in shock from it all. It's ironic that at first I didn't want to live in the house Kade had found for us, yet I feel so out of place standing here, though this apartment is much nicer and we'll be safer living in the compound. I suppose I just miss the familiarity of it; some stability in all this chaos would be nice.

I eventually begin to walk around the oversized apartment trying my best to not get lost in it. I suppose the sooner I become acquainted with it, the better. After all, the Dauntless apartment might end up being more permanent than the factionless house we just left behind. The thought is a bit overwhelming to be honest. Now we really are Dauntless; we wear their colors, we've painted their marks on our skin, and now we live in their territory.

I find the master bedroom soon enough and I'm about to shower and get some rest when I realize we were in such a hurry to get back to Dauntless that we didn't bring anything with us. I suppose Tobias will be the one to go back for our things since he certainly won't ever let me set foot outside of Dauntless until Jeanine Matthews is locked up or dead.

I take a seat on the bed and run my hands through my hair. I decide not having clothes is the least of my problems since I can always borrow Susan's until tomorrow, and my new fashionable underwear dries incredibly fast.

I chuckle at the thought and I let myself relax into the bed a little.

Not too long after, I jump up when I hear a knock on the door. I figure it must be Susan because there's no way Tobias could be back already. I may not have liked the sudden move, but I can definitely appreciate the fact that my best friend is nearby. I smile when I open the front door, expecting to greet Susan, but instead, standing in my doorway, is literally the last person I would ever want to see. She grins smugly at me with her big brown eyes and hair to match. My smile immediately dissipates.

"Emily… what the hell do you want?" I ask tensely. I want to ask her where she's been but truthfully, I was glad when she disappeared. She should crawl right back under whatever rock she had been hiding under.

"You," she answers.

Now would be a wonderful time to hit her in the face for the trouble she caused me and Tobias, but I decide not to waste any more of my time with her. I'm about to lock the door in her face when out of nowhere a Dauntless soldier pushes it back open, forcing me backward. I almost stumble to the ground but I find my balance.

Both angry and confused, I push him backward. "Who the hell are you?!"

He takes a quick step toward me and that's when I see the blue band around his right arm, identifying him as one of the traitor Dauntless. My eyes open wide, and only then, as my stomach drops sickeningly, do I realize I'm in danger.

"How did you-" I begin, but suddenly a warm hand slaps against my mouth to cover it and there's a gun pressed to my temple. It happens so fast that I don't even have time to react.

"Try to scream and I'll blow a bullet through your head," the traitor Dauntless says. His voice is rough and his breath smells like cigarettes. I'd try to fight them but the truth is I'm no match for the soldier who has me restrained. I'm not even armed.

Livid, my eyes square in on Emily who has a satisfied look on her face. She smiles wickedly but says nothing as she pulls a syringe full of green liquid out of her pocket. Knowing exactly what's about to happen, I keep my eyes on her, even when the Dauntless soldier mercilessly twists my neck to the side.

"You see, Tris," she says, as she slowly introduces the syringe into my neck. "I win." And her voice fades off just as everything turns to black.


	48. Unbreakable Passion Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

 **TOBIAS**

I reluctantly close the door behind me and leave Tris alone in the apartment. I'd prefer to bring her along with me but I'm sure she's tired and could use the time to settle in. Still, wanting to get back to her as soon as I possibly can, I walk faster than usual. I recognize the paranoia in my actions, but I don't fight it. I won't rest until Tris is safe.

I stop by Susan's apartment first like I had promised Tris, and then I head off to find Zeke. It hasn't been that long since we left so I walk toward the last place I had seen him- the meeting room.

As I walk down the halls I pass faces that have become more and more familiar to me over time. Their piercings and tattoos don't seem all that strange to me anymore, and dressed in all black, I blend in; I don't feel that different from them at all. Things I once couldn't understand about the Dauntless or their way of life, I now embrace. For a second I figure maybe it won't be so bad staying here after all.

When I arrive at the room, the door is wide open, and Zeke is standing right where I left him a few hours ago. Only he's not alone. Lola, Kade, Tori and Uriah are all standing there with him, huddled in a small circle in the corner at the opposite end of the room. Kade passes a few awkward glances at me before he decides it's better to keep his eyes on the floor.

"Four?" Tori says when she sees me standing at the door. They all spin around to look at me. "I thought you left."

"I did," I say as I slowly walk toward them. "We came back."

"We?"

I nod. "I think Tris will be safer here. I'm afraid Jeanine might try to go after her in order to get to _me_."

Lola bites her lip and then nods. "Honestly, I had considered the possibility. If you're a target then so is Tris. Moving into Dauntless is probably the safest thing for the both of you," she says. "Where is Tris _now_?"

"I left her in the apartment. She should be ok. I made her swear to stay put until I get back."

Zeke chuckles at this. "And you expect her to listen?"

"She'd better," I mumble, hoping that Tris at least remembers the conversation we had only moments ago. If we're going to be together that means no more secrets or lies. I'm not upset with her, although I doubt right now I _could_ be. I'm far too invested in making sure she's safe.

I cross my arms as I walk closer toward the circle. "So what's this post-meeting meeting about anyway?" I ask.

"The possibility of a traitor in our midst," Zeke answers. His voice is soft but heavy.

"We're done discussing the possibility of it," Lola shakes her head. "We're sure of it. What we're trying to figure out is who it might be."

I raise an eyebrow at them. I don't disagree at all. In fact, Zeke and I had come to that conclusion earlier. What I can't help but wonder is, "Why wasn't I invited?" I turn my head to look at all of them.

"We meant no offense, Tobias," Kade answers. "It's just that we're almost certain it isn't one of yours. And though it's unlikely one of the factionless, Tori doesn't want to rule out the possibility."

I suppose that's why _he's_ here. Honestly, I didn't really expect him to be around since he had missed this morning's meeting. Or maybe he just missed it because he knew I'd be there.

"Don't make me throw you out, Kade," Tori spits.

"Deny it all you want," he answers calmly. "Dauntless has people on both sides here. It's not at all farfetched that one of you would defect at the last minute."

Irritated, Tori balls both her hands into tight fists. "My people can be trusted," she says through her teeth.

"Can they really?"

"Yes," Tori answers hotly.

"Let's not forget that half your faction is _willingly_ complying with Jeanine," Kade snaps back.

"And let's not insult the half that isn't!"

"That's enough!" Lola interjects sharply. She stands a little straighter. "We won't figure out who it is by bickering about it."

"Then what do you suggest?" Zeke asks. He twists his head to the side as he waits for an answer.

"Let's talk about motive," Lola answers. "Who has one?"

"None of the factionless for sure. _Nor_ the Abnegation," Kade says. "Which brings us back to-"

"Kade, I swear, if you dare suggest one more time that-"

"-All I'm saying is," Kade interrupts Tori, holding a hand in the air, "You can't deny the fact that a Dauntless mole makes the most sense. All they'd have to do is put on and take off that stupid blue band around their arm and you wouldn't be able to tell what side they're on. They could walk around here listening to everything we say and no one would be the wiser."

Just as Tori is about to rebut, I reluctantly state, "Kade's right." I cross my arms in front of my chest and continue to avoid looking directly at him. "It _does_ make the most sense," though I hate to admit it.

Tori doesn't look at me. Instead she rolls her eyes at the floor. She lets out a sharp breath before she asks, "So how do we find out who it is? There are more than three hundred Dauntless still living in this compound."

"Don't you guys keep surveillance?" I ask her. I remember having seen more than a few cameras around the compound and one at the main entrance. "We could watch recent footage and see if we notice any suspicious movements."

"That's not a bad idea," Uriah inputs. "But we tried that before when we wanted to see who dropped off Jeanine's letter at the front door. Whoever it was took care to avoid the cameras."

"Which means they're familiar with your surveillance system," Kade says, throwing another punch at Tori for sure.

"Well that could have easily been one of the traitor Dauntless," Zeke inputs. "We can't always see what happens on the outside, but most of the corridors have cameras. I used to cover a few shifts in the control room every once in a while, so I know about cameras in places most people don't. If he stepped foot inside this compound, I'll find him."

I did notice most of the cameras, even the one at the very end of the hallway on the floor where Tris and I now live. Most of them seem hidden in corners where they expect no one to notice them. Well, I noticed them.

"How would you even know what to look for?" Kade asks Zeke, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Timestamps," he answers. "When you're in the middle of a war, there's a window of time considered reasonable to either leave or return to the compound. Anything outside of that window can be considered suspicious."

Kade nods in agreement, then so do I. "How soon can we start?" I ask.

"Now," Zeke answers strongly. "We'd have to go through days, maybe weeks of footage, so the sooner we start the better. And now that you're living in the compound," Zeke says, looking at me, "We need to be sure there's no one in this building we can't trust."

"Agreed," Lola says. "We should probably divide the load. Everyone covers shifts in the control room until we find something."

"Come on," Zeke urges with a nod and a few steps forward. "We can take the elevator."

As we walk out of the meeting room, Zeke leads us through a path I don't think I've been down before. At the end of it I see a large chrome door that I presume to be the elevator. I keep pace with him and Uriah, while Lola, Kade and Tori walk a few steps behind us.

"Everything ok, man?" Zeke asks as he pushes the tiny button on the side of the door. "You look like shit."

As close as Zeke and I have become, I'm not sure I'm ready to pour out all that's been bugging me lately. I haven't even talked to Tris yet. Hopefully when I get back to the apartment we can really sit and talk about everything.

"So do you," I answer with a soft chuckle.

Even with Zeke there, it's an uncomfortable ride to the fourth floor with the elevator barely having enough room for six people. I can feel Kade's eyes on me the whole time as if the small space isn't bad enough. I wish he would stop looking at me. I have nothing to say to him.

Zeke is the first to get off and we all follow him down a short corridor, then around a bend. The door to the control room is wide open, and inside it is like nothing I've ever seen before. There's an entire wall covered with just screens, and a large number of desks with computers. The footage, still running on every screen, rotates every five seconds, showing different parts of the compound. The room is vacant but I imagine once upon a time it was swarmed with people whose only job was to stare at footage.

"All of this is Dauntless surveillance?" I ask with curiosity. It's a bit extravagant in my opinion. Why did they think it was necessary to spy on their own people this much?

"The control room was initially set up for surveillance of the entire city," Tori explains. "But Jeanine filed a complaint a few years back and the surveillance program was shut down. Our leaders saw no reason to fight her on it."

"Of course they didn't," Kade mumbles.

Like Kade, I'm not surprised. He did say the Dauntless leaders had been working along with Jeanine for as long as he could remember.

Zeke goes to sit behind a desk on the right, and he types something into a dialog box. All of a sudden the images on the wall of screens converge into one big picture, changing from images of the empty Pit to the Dauntless corridors near the cafeteria. Zeke clicks the mouse and another image replaces it, this one of the inside of the cafeteria. The next one is of the tattoo parlour, then the hospital. He keeps scrolling through the Dauntless compound, and I watch the images as they go past, showing momentary glimpses of things I imagine ordinary Dauntless life would have been filled with.

When he pulls up the footage of the two main entrances, he says, "This is what we need. Anybody who leaves the compound after ten o'clock at night or fails to return before morning is eligible for questioning."

"Sounds like a plan," Tori says. "Since you're the most experienced in the control room I assume you and Uriah can start going through the footage and let me know if you find anything."

"Sure thing, boss," Zeke says sarcastically, stretching his hand behind his head. I chuckle as I pull up a chair and take a seat beside him. I guess I should probably learn how to use these computers if I am to help out.

As Zeke is showing us how to rewind the footage and switch cameras, one of the images immediately catches my attention; Emily's in the hallway with one of the Dauntless but I don't recognize him. It's been almost a week since I've seen her last. I thought she'd never come back to the compound after what happened.

"When was this?" I ask.

Zeke checks the time stamp on the right hand corner of the screen. "A little over an hour ago."

I feel my heart jump inside my chest; I suppose she lives in Dauntless as well now. The idea of running into her makes me nervous. Truthfully, I'll be happy if I never see her again.

Thankfully, Zeke changes cameras and this time he shows us how to go forward, but the image we see on the screen is just as confusing. Someone dressed in both Abnegation and Dauntless colours is running through the halls yelling, though we can't hear what.

"Hey, isn't that Susan?" Zeke suggests, and when I look a little closer I realize it _is_ her.

"Something's wrong," Uriah says, panicked, and in less than a second he rushes out of the room. Upon remembering that Susan was supposed to be in the apartment with Tris, I quickly chase behind him, needing to know exactly what's going on.

Uriah and I race down the halls until we find Susan, who is a nervous wreck as she makes her way toward us.

"Tris!" I hear her yell, and for a second everything stops- my heart, my breathing, everything. She's looking for Tris. Why on Earth would she be looking for Tris?

Uriah grabs Susan by the shoulders and she appears to shake in his arms. "Baby, what's wrong?" he asks forcefully, trying to get her to look at him. But Susan is staring at _me_ wide-eyed. Her fingers tremble and she knots them together inside her black jacket.

"I've been looking everywhere but I can't find Tris!" she cries. "I think someone took her, Tobias! When I got there the front door was wide open and the apartment was empty."

Uriah shakes his head while I can't seem to move or breath. "Maybe she's just being Tris and decided to-"

"No," I stop him. "She knew how important it was that she stay inside and lock the door. She wouldn't have left." I barely find enough air to finish the sentence, and I feel as all the blood in my body rushes to my legs.

Panicked, I run back to the apartment faster than I thought I ever could. I feel my heart swell inside my chest and it feels as though it will explode inside me. With every piece of me I pray that Susan is wrong and Tris is safe and sound in bed, but when I get to the apartment it's just as she said- the door is wide open and there's no one inside.

I don't waste any time. I race back to the control room, remembering there's a camera on this floor. Though something else also flashes in my mind.

Emily.

"What the hell's going on?" Zeke asks as I barge back inside the control room, Uriah and Susan close behind me.

"Go back to the shot with Emily and follow her!" I urge him. I don't think it's a coincidence Emily decided to appear the very day Tris and I moved into Dauntless. Maybe once upon a time I would have, but not anymore.

Sensing the urgency of the situation, Zeke doesn't ask any questions. He quickly pulls up the image and follows Emily as she walks through the halls with whoever she's with. It doesn't take long for me to figure out where she's headed and I lose control of my senses as I put the pieces together.

Zeke fast forwards the footage and then switches to the camera on our apartment floor. That's when I see Tris' body hanging over the shoulders of this Dauntless man that I am now certain is a traitor, which can only mean one thing- Emily's no longer on our side and I think that might be _my_ fault.

"No!" I cry out, slamming my fist against the table. "She took her right from under our noses!"

Zeke follows them all the way to some hidden exit, but I can't watch anymore.

"I can't believe Emily would go this far! Has she lost her mind?!" Susan cries out.

Lola shakes her head slowly. "She didn't do this on her own. I think she's working with Jeanine," she rightly presumes.

"Emily's our mole?" Uriah blurts out and Susan gasps.

"Well would you look at _that_ ," Tori inputs sarcastically.

Before I can tell her myself, Kade holds up a hand and strongly says, "This isn't the time, Victoria!"

"It sure as hell isn't," Zeke snaps. "Our priority right now is getting Tris back."

"How did she even know you'd come here?" Lola says, though mostly to herself, with audible shock in her voice.

Looking at the timestamp, Uriah says, "We don't know. But that was an hour ago. They're halfway to Erudite by now."

"Good," I say darkly. "They're not there yet. We still have time." And with that I push past Uriah and Susan and I run through the door. I'm not letting them take Tris without a fight. I run faster when I hear footsteps chasing after me.

"Tobias! Wait!" Lola yells after me. She somehow catches up to me and yanks me by the arm.

"For what?! I'm not letting them take her!"

"It's a setup!" she says, not releasing my arm. "This whole thing. Jeanine sent the letter because she knew it would push you to come stay at Dauntless. At least this way she'd know exactly where you were and it would be easier to find and take Tris."

"I don't care, Lola! I'm going after her!"

But she stands in my way, pushing be backward. "Can't you see?! That is exactly what Jeanine wants!"

"Nobody's asking you to come with me, but I won't let you stop me," I growl at her.

"Tobias, they're gone," Kade says, suddenly appearing in front of me, essentially blocking my path. "Lola's right. You're walking right into Jeanine's trap. You need to stay here. Together we can come up with a plan. One that won't get you killed."

"So now you're telling me what to do?" I snap at him.

His face sinks but he doesn't move. "Tobias, you need to think this through before you do something you'll regret."

"You're not my father!" I yell for no particular reason, entirely frustrated they won't let me pass and seem to think that after everything they've done, everything they've hidden from me, they can still stand in front of me and tell me what to do. "She's my _wife_ and I am going to _get_ her!"

Apologetic, Kade holds both hands up in the air. "I'm sorry," he says softly. "But I can't let you do this."

"I don't need your permission. If you won't help me save her, I'll do it by myself," I say to him. "I've done well without you so far."

When Kade and Lola refuse to move out of my way, I divert toward the training room which I remember holds a decent collection of firearms.

"Tobias!" they yell after me, but I don't look back. I can't look back. The only thing I want to do right now is get to Tris.

When I swing the doors of the training room open, I find Caleb alone inside. I don't ask him what he's doing in there and I don't tell him Tris has been taken. At this point I don't think he deserves any kind of courtesy from either of us.

He stares at me as I storm across the room. "What's _your_ problem?"

Ignoring him, I grab a gun from the rack and open the chamber to make sure it's loaded.

"I'm coming with you," Zeke says, suddenly appearing beside me and grabbing a gun.

"Me too," Uriah says. But when Susan reaches for a weapon, he shakes his head and takes it from her hand. "Not you," he says.

"She's my friend," Susan answers strongly before forcefully taking back the gun from Uriah.

"Could somebody please tell me what's going on?" Caleb demands.

"They've got Tris and we're going after her," Susan answers when I don't bother.

"What?!"

Susan retrieves another gun from the rack and passes it to Caleb, but he doesn't take it. "Are you coming or not?" She asks him.

Not to my surprise, Caleb freezes. "I… I…" he stammers.

"Coward," I mutter with unreserved irritation as I push him out of my way and walk back toward the door, not wasting a second of my time on him.

As I'm about to push the door open, Lola and Kade barge inside, blocking the exit. "Tobias, please stop," Lola begs again. "You storming into Erudite will give Jeanine every opportunity to win this war. She _will_ kill you!"

The broken part of me thinks that might be my only way out of this mess; for as long as I live I don't think I could ever fix it. I mean, could I ever really be leader of this city? I can barely manage to run a faction. I obviously don't even know how to take care of my own wife, especially since I'm the one who aggravated Emily in the first place. What kind of husband doesn't realize until it's too late that his wife is in danger? Probably the same kind who looked forward to being inside her every night but never thought that maybe she might need some sort of birth control.

I've never felt like a bigger idiot than I do in this moment.

"She'll have to catch me first," I growl at them both.

"Oh that definitely won't be a problem! Have you ever set foot inside Erudite? The place is a maze! You'd need at least a week to study the blueprints before you can actually talk about going inside and not getting caught," Lola says heatedly. "Let me go in tonight first."

"Lola-" Kade begins hotly.

"You don't need to worry about me," she answers him strongly. "I've memorized the entire structure. I can get in and out without being spotted. My life depended on it over the past few years."

"We don't have the time," I rebut with frustration as they continue to block my path. I push past them and begin to head toward the main exit. Zeke and Uriah follow close behind me.

"We do!" Lola insists as she quickly trails behind me. "Jeanine will keep Tris alive as long as she thinks she can use her as a bargaining chip. Let me go in. I'll find out exactly where she's being held, deactivate whatever security measures I can from that area, and tomorrow we move! It makes no sense to attack blindly!"

"I WILL NOT LEAVE HER THERE!" I yell behind me.

"Tobias, you're no good to Tris if you're dead! Jeanine will kill you before you even find her! That's a promise!"

It's not her words that make me stop dead in my tracks, it's the emotion and honesty behind them. And considering Lola knows Jeanine better than anyone, it might be foolish of me not to listen. But at the same time, how can they really expect me to stay here and do nothing?

"Tobias, please," Lola says to me as she slowly approaches. "I'm begging you. I need you to trust me, because that is the only way you both make it out of this alive."

Conflicted, I stand stiff with my gun at my side; I hang on every word Lola says. I can't bear to not go after Tris right this second, but me dying at Erudite means she'll be at the mercy of Jeanine, and Jeanine has no mercy. I'll be doing her more harm than good.

When Lola's standing right in front of me, I look her in the eye and say, "Give me one good reason why I should trust you."

She takes a few deep breaths. "Because you know it's the right thing to do," she answers.

I try to control my breathing since I can't seem to control anything else. My thoughts are racing, but I quietly recall Tris saying to me that she trusts Lola, the one person we barely know anything about. I wish I could ask her now if she would still trust Lola if her life depended on it.

"Tris trusts you," I answer shakily. "So for her sake I'm inclined to. But if something happens to her-"

"-We're gonna get her back, Tobias," Lola interrupts. Kade quietly stands at her side.

"You'd better be right," I say threateningly, but it's mostly because I'm more terrified than I've ever been in my entire life. I feel crippled without Tris, and the more I stand here and think about it, the more I want to drive a knife through Jeanine's heart. "If I find out you're lying to me, I won't hesitate to kill either of you."

"If we fail, you won't have to," she answers.

Zeke and the others approach cautiously, and I can almost feel myself shaking in place.

"I can't lose her," I whisper only to Lola, sounding painfully honest.

"I know," she answers softly. And just like that it's decided- I'll wait. Lola presses a soft hand into my shoulder, and with the other she relieves me of my weapon and slowly leads me away.


	49. Unbreakable Passion Chapter 22

**A/N: A special thank you to all those who reviewed the last chapter! :) You guys are amazing. Hope you all enjoy this one as well!**

* * *

 **Chapter 22**

 **TRIS**

My mind is as hazy as the images I see in front of me. I try to speak but I can't; every last muscle in my body is paralyzed. I can feel myself dangling over someone's hard shoulder- my head upside down and my arms swinging back and forth as they walk.

I see blurry flashes of white and blue, and I hear the rhythmic clanking of shoes against tile. It doesn't take much for me to realize I'm in Erudite; Emily kidnapped me and brought me to Jeanine. Ironically, moving to Dauntless had given way to the very incident Tobias was trying to avoid. Although, given that it was Emily who betrayed us, Jeanine would have found us anyway; Emily knew where we lived.

We come to a stop and my arms stop swinging. I don't see a face, I only hear a deep and unfamiliar voice say, "Jeanine says to take her to the confinement room. She'll send for her later. But she's asking for you."

"Ok," Emily answers, and her showing up with a Dauntless traitor makes much more sense to me; she's one of Jeanine's lackeys now. I wonder what made her sell her soul. I suppose her desire to take me out of the picture fell in line with Jeanine's hopes to trap Tobias.

Although I hate Emily even more for this, I will admit I'm glad it wasn't Lola who was betraying us… or Caleb. For a second, the thought of my brother being a traitor had crossed my mind. No words could describe how ugly that felt.

I'm taken down a few more blurry pathways before I'm brought into a bright room and laid out on the floor. I feel a sting on my neck just before the door slams shut, and suddenly the images begin to clear up in front of me.

I swing my head back and forth and I begin to groan; I feel strangely relieved at the sound of my own voice. I wiggle my fingers and toes, but I'm not yet strong enough to stand. I crawl toward the wall and lean my back up against it.

As I slowly regain control of my body and my thoughts, the reality of where I am hits me like a ton of bricks, and I finally let myself panic.

I begin to breathe heavier, and with my heart in my throat I survey the room though there's not much to see. It's ridiculously small- maybe six feet long by six feet wide. The floor, the walls, and the ceiling are all made of light panels, and in each corner is a tiny black camera. The only thing that stands out in the room is the black metal door.

I glance at each camera, wondering who is on the other side of them, and I fight the scream building up inside my chest. I breathe in steadily and then I breathe out, hoping the smooth flow of oxygen into my lungs will help slow my racing heart. I think I had read something of the sort in a book once.

I sit on the hard floor and curl up into a ball, pressing my face to my knees. I have to make a plan. I need to find a way to escape the heart of Erudite headquarters or I might die in this place, and Tobias will die trying to save me. The minute he realizes I'm gone, nothing will stop him from storming in here, though I truly wish he wouldn't. Tobias is the only one who can really save this city from disaster, and saving me isn't worth it, not if he will die in the process. I'd much rather be the one sacrificing myself to save _him_.

The thought makes my hands tremble, but I don't try to push it from my mind. Instead I tell myself that I am Dauntless now and I need to be calm. I've experienced my greatest fears and being kidnapped by Jeanine Matthews was definitely not one of them. I curl into a tighter ball and tell myself over and over again that I _will_ get out of here.

I don't know how long I stay like that, but when my back begins to ache, it serves as some indication that I've been here a while. With the paralytic completely out of my system, I get up and pace, stretching my arms above my head. I shake out my hands as I walk around in circles in the tiny room, then I close them into fists to stop them from trembling.

If Jeanine's plan is to psyche me out, she might have accomplished that.

Minutes or hours later, I'm standing in a corner staring at one of the cameras when I hear rustling outside the door. As it swings open, I feel my heart swell as it tries to free itself from my chest, but my emotions take a drastic turn, switching from fear to rage. The big brown eyes of Emily Taylor are staring right at me.

She stands with six traitor Dauntless, as if I would need that many, but I don't even look at them. I'm staring at her and her pristine looking blue and white attire. A thousand potential reactions, ranging from launching myself at Emily's throat to crying, to making some kind of sarcastic joke, rush through my mind all at once. I can't decide on one, so I just stand still and stare stone-faced at her.

"I've been instructed to take you upstairs," she says to me. She even speaks like them.

"Since when did you start receiving instructions from Jeanine Matthews?" I ask nonchalantly, as if I'm not terrified out of my mind.

She doesn't answer me. Instead she holds the door open until I walk out and then starts toward the elevators. Reluctantly, I follow her and the guards take their place beside me- three to my right and three to my left.

We go up four floors, then we walk down a series of sleek corridors, almost like the ones at Dauntless, only much brighter, with a sweeter smell, and no graffiti.

They all stop walking in a short hallway which has metal doors on each side. Emily types in a code to open one of the doors, and the traitor Dauntless surround me, shoulder to shoulder, forming a narrow tunnel for me to pass through on my way into the room.

The door opens, and at last I stand face-to-face with the enemy and her Dauntless guards.

"Hello, Beatrice," Jeanine says, and I only know it's her from the pictures I've seen.

Before today, Jeanine Matthews had only been a concept, a person who only existed in our conversations when we spoke of genocide and war. Now she stands in front of me- in the flesh, and it feels like I'm in an alternate reality.

She's taller than I had imagined, and prettier even. She wears Erudite blue and Erudite spectacles and an Erudite look of superiority that I was taught by my father to hate. But I don't feel hate when I look at Jeanine. It feels a lot more like disgust.

"Hello, Jeanine," I say, because it is the only thing that comes to mind. As she eyes me curiously, I look from Jeanine's grey eyes to the Dauntless guards who surround her; Emily stands to her right.

Her, I do hate.

"Why did you bring me here? What do you want from me?" I ask as if I don't know.

Jeanine smiles. "I will be the one asking the questions today."

"Could you at least tell me what time it is?" I'm sure Tobias has realized by now that I've gone missing. It probably won't be long before he does something stupid like surrender himself over to Jeanine, which means I don't have that much time to get out of here.

"No," she says smugly, proud of the fact that she can withhold something as trifling as the time of day. "Let's go on a little tour, shall we?"

She steps back and gestures toward the doorway. The last thing I want to do is walk toward an uncertain destination, but I can't imagine any room in this building being kind to me. I walk through, half of the Dauntless guards in front of me. Emily follows behind us.

Instead of a room, the door leads to another long and pale hallway. We turn a corner and walk down a second one exactly like the first. I am so disoriented right now I'm sure I could never find my way back. But then my surroundings change- the white tunnel opens to a large room where Erudite men and women in long blue jackets stand behind glossy wooden tables. Some of them are holding tools, some mixing multicoloured liquids, some staring at computer screens. If I had to guess, I would say they are mixing serums, but I hesitate to confine Erudite's work to simulations alone.

Most of them stop to watch us as we walk down the centre aisle. Or rather, they watch _me_. Some of them whisper, but most remain silent.

It is disgustingly quiet here. I've become accustomed to the Dauntless' boisterousness.

I follow the traitor Dauntless through another doorway which leads to an even larger room, but unlike the other one, this room is practically empty. There's a long metal table with straps on the edges of it, and a heart monitor standing next to it. There's another machine there with a series of colourful wires coming out of it, but I don't know what it's for; I've never seen anything like it.

I shudder without meaning to. What exactly does Jeanine plan to do with me?

Leaving me alone with Emily, the guards make their way back the way they came and Jeanine walks behind a tall glass wall that sits in the corner of the room. It's reflective on my side, but I'm sure it's transparent on the other.

"What is this?" I ask to myself.

Suddenly, Jeanine's voice speaks over an intercom. "Lie down, Beatrice."

I shake my head slowly and stare at the metal table. "No." _Hell no._

She sighs, sounding quite unimpressed. "If you don't do it yourself, we have ways of making you."

Emily grabs my arm and tries to pull me toward the table, but she's far weaker than I am and I almost laugh at her effort. I imagine her trying to wrestle me toward the table and I give her a mocking eye.

"Move," she says tersely.

Only because I'm aware of the Dauntless traitors on the opposite side of the door do I move. She might not be able to force me onto the table, but _they_ certainly can. And if I am to escape from this place, I need not be unnecessarily injured.

I scan Emily's blue clothes one more time as I lie on the table. "So you're Erudite now?" I ask her. "Abnegation, Dauntless _and_ Erudite?"

I don't miss the irony.

She shoves me against the metal and I wince when my tattooed shoulder slams against it. Too tightly, she pulls the straps that dangle from the table across my body. When she doesn't say anything to me, I ask, "Why are you doing this, Emily?"

"You know why," she seethes.

I raise an eyebrow at her. "You betrayed your faction all because you got your heart broken?"

"Abnegation doesn't exist anymore, Beatrice- Tris, whatever name you go by these days. But I did this to save what's left of this city."

I scoff. "How does torturing me save the city, Emily?" Because I imagine that is what they will do to me.

"You will ruin him," she says, referring to Tobias, I assume. "But with Jeanine's help Tobias can do great things for this city."

"You are an idiot," I say flatly. "Jeanine Matthews serves no one but herself. Your parents would be ashamed of you for helping the people who murdered them. So would your sister."

Emily freezes and then gives me a cold stare. "Don't you dare speak about my family."

Suddenly I wonder, "Where _is_ your sister, Emily? Where is Johanna?"

"She's safe. And that's all that matters," she answers, placing several leads from the strange machine on my head. "I don't need to explain myself to you."

"What do you hope to gain from this anyway?" I softly ask. "Certainly not Tobias."

She scoffs. "What? Do you think he'll spend the rest of his life crying over you? He's eighteen; he'll find another wife once you're dead, and you're stupid if you don't know that."

"And is that where _you_ come in?" I almost laugh. "If _that's_ what you think, _you're_ the stupid one. You really think Tobias is gonna want anything to do with you if Jeanine kills me?" Emily doesn't look at me as she tightly fastens the bands around my wrist. "You really didn't think this through, did you?" I mock her.

"He won't have a choice," she finally answers. "Jeanine promised. And now that I've brought you in, she owes me."

I raise my eyebrows at her. Would Emily really settle for a mind-controlled version of my husband that has been programmed to love her? "You're sick in the head. You know that right?" And without an answer, Emily turns and walks away, leaving me strapped to the metal table with wires connected to my head and heart.

"May we begin?" Jeanine's voice says over the intercom. "Assuming you are done with your little reunion."

"What exactly are you doing to me?" I demand.

"I need answers, Beatrice. And I believe you can give them to me. I'm also hoping your husband's selfless nature will soon take over and he will try and save you. No need to say what happens from there."

"I won't tell you anything," I say through my teeth, writhing on the table though I know I can't free myself.

Jeanine chuckles. "You don't need to speak at all, dear."

Suddenly, one of the men with long blue robes walks into the room. As he approaches me, I see a syringe in his hand; this time the serum is a light shade of blue. Just like the one Emily used to paralyze me, I don't think I've ever seen it before.

"What is this? What are you putting inside me?" I ask forcefully.

Flatly, Jeanine answers, "As you may have noticed, assuming you are observant, I have an entire lab dedicated to the fabrication of different serums. This serum, the mind serum as I like to call it, will allow me to navigate your mind. I will have unlimited access to every last one of your memories, every thought as it flashes through your mind. The images will display on the screen in front of me, and I am even able to record them in the event that I need to revisit a particular day of your life."

I gasp. Once upon a time I would have thought such a thing to be impossible. But considering the creation of a serum and transmitter that turns people into mindless drones, I have no doubt Jeanine is telling me the truth. Besides, I don't imagine it being that different from capturing the mental images we created when we entered our fear landscapes.

The Erudite man is short and bald, and he looks frightened. He swallows before turning around to look at the glass window separating us from Jeanine.

"Proceed," she says over the intercom, and I hear my heart racing on the monitor.

My vision blurs, and I'm stiff with fright. Not because I'm afraid of what they will do to me, but because accessing my thoughts and memories means that Jeanine will come to know everything she needs to know about Tobias, about the factionless and Dauntless. Whatever plans we had made, whatever advantages we thought we had, will now be lost.

I wince when the needle pierces my neck, and my mind begins to race the minute the serum is pumped through my veins. It's almost as if my memories are all rushing toward the surface, waiting to be summoned.

Over the quick and steady beeping of the heart monitor, I hear Jeanine say, "Show me your last encounter with the present leader of Dauntless."

Immediately, an image of Tori flashes in my mind. I see her in the meeting room, I see all of us- Zeke, Shauna, Tobias. We're discussing the letter Jeanine sent to Tobias.

"No!" I cry out, and I push the image from my mind, summoning a different memory. I bring up old and random thoughts, taking her to boring Abnegation council meetings and then days when I would volunteer to feed the factionless as a child. I think of the strange smells I encountered in the alleys, rodents who were brave enough to scurry across the road in broad daylight.

It's only when Jeanine yells, "Be quiet and stop what you are doing!" do I realize I'm hyperventilating and speaking out loud, verbalizing my memories, describing everything I see.

I smile wickedly through my panting. It's working.

"She's strong for an Abnegation," Jeanine says to the Erudite man. "Give her another dose."

He doesn't hesitate. He pulls out another vial from his pocket and my eyes open wide; resisting one dose is hard enough. Still, I'm determined to fight through it. I will not give up my husband and our allies. This war will not be lost because of me.

I lock my jaw the second I feel the pinch of the needle, and I scream through my teeth as I muster every bit of strength and effort I have inside me.

With a second dose of the serum coursing through me, I begin to feel weaker but I focus on the room I'm in, picturing every detail of it, the way Emily stood beside the table fastening the bands, the way the Erudite man stands beside me now. I lock myself in that moment, not allowing my thoughts to drift elsewhere.

When I hear the glass door open, then the sound of heels against tile, I know Jeanine has stepped out of her glass cubicle. Breathing heavily, I stare into her eyes and I see the frustration in them. She tries to mask it with curiosity.

Not being able to help it, I laugh, as tired as I am.

"I take it… your mind games… didn't work," I say, panting after every word.

Jeanine stares blankly at me. "If I may be frank, I had no purpose for you other than to trick your husband into coming here and maybe see what useful information I could get out of your mind. But it appears as though you may be of more use than I thought. I was wrong, for once."

"Is that the first time you've said that?" I ask, finally catching my breath.

"You intrigue me, Beatrice," she says, not answering my question. "Your mind is more resistant than the average. I would like to study it, see how much it can take."

"I'm honoured," I say mockingly, tugging at the bands around my wrists.

Jeanine glares at me with raised eyebrows. "Your behavioural tendencies are not at all what I would expect from one of the Abnegation. That along with what I've seen here today, I believe it goes without saying that you are Divergent, Beatrice."

I roll my eyes at her. "Another great discovery on your part."

"It is indeed, actually," Jeanine answers to my surprise. "It was not my intention to immediately kill your husband. I deduced Tobias' divergence given that his father was as well, and I've found a strong genetic trait, which is why Marcus would have never had a place beside me when I finally got control of the city. And as it turns out, you may prove to be more valuable to me than your husband would have been. You see, from your resistance to the mind serum, I can undoubtedly say you are the strongest Divergent I've encountered, which I say not to compliment you but to explain my purpose. If I am to develop a simulation that cannot be thwarted by the Divergent mind, I must study the strongest Divergent mind in order to shore up all weaknesses in the technology. Understand?"

I don't respond. I am staring at the heart monitor next to the table, watching the rate as it slowly falls. The serum is wearing off.

"Luckily for you, that means I must keep you alive a bit longer than I had intended to." For a moment I actually consider if that is a good or bad thing.

"Aren't you supposed to be running a faction and planning a war?" I cut in. "You have better things to do than run tests on a sixteen year old girl."

"This is how the war will be won," Jeanine confesses. She then whispers something to the Erudite man who quickly steps outside. "You know your brother could have done well here," she says. "He wasn't the brightest but he did have a sort of innate intelligence when it came to the simulations and serums. He helped some of my best scientists test and perfect the attack simulation. Too bad he left shortly after."

I gasp at the thought.

"You're lying. Caleb would never help you create something like that. Not intentionally." But I don't believe the words myself. My brother has always had an unhealthy thirst for knowledge. He'd pursue any route, no matter how dark, as long as it led to him knowing something you didn't.

"But he did," Jeanine says. "Although when it came right down to it, he couldn't stomach what had to be done. At the last minute he expressed his reservations with how we had planned to use the serum. His mind was not as strong as yours, so he left. We didn't mourn his loss. Erudite has no place for the weak."

"Or the mentally sound, it would seem."

I try to hide behind my smart comment, but inside I feel a burning anger toward my brother. How could he have helped them create the serum that killed our parents? Why would he run from here instead of finding a way to stop the attack? I don't think I ever want to look at him again, but as much as I would love for Caleb to return to Erudite, it appears as though he's not welcome here either.

"Actually, he reminds me a great deal of Lola Cartwright," Jeanine suddenly adds. "I believe you two have met." My heart skips a beat at the mention of Lola. "Such intelligence without the willpower to do what it takes to realize her full potential," Jeanine shakes her head. "It's quite a shame."

But it's not. In that moment I'm reminded of something my father used to say. _Valuing knowledge above all else results in a lust for power, and that leads men into dark and empty places_. I believe that to be Jeanine Matthews in the flesh.

When the bald headed man returns with a different syringe in his hand, I close my eyes and let out a breath. When Jeanine eyes him, he steps forward quickly and fumbles with the syringe before passing it to her.

Jeanine doesn't say a word to me. Instead she injects the serum into the side of my neck, pressing down on the plunger. "All right, then," she finally says, and she jabs one of the buttons on the strange machine, and everything goes dark… again.


	50. Unbreakable Passion Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

 **TRIS**

I wake up in a warm and familiar bed, with strong arms wrapped tight around me. My head is foggy and I feel tired. That might be because I barely slept at all.

"Good morning, Beatrice," Tobias mumbles into my ear.

I giggle when his warm breath tickles my skin. That and something about my name sounds funny.

"Slept well?" he asks me.

I shake my head. "Not really," I answer. "I just had the strangest dream." Rubbing my head, I turn around slowly in his arms. "I was…," I pause. All of a sudden I don't remember exactly what I had dreamt, only that it was horrifying and frightening, filled with death and pain. I probably shouldn't have even mentioned it; I mentally scold myself for my selfishness and say, "I don't really remember it, so I guess it doesn't matter. How about you?"

"I slept well," he answers. "I always do when you're beside me."

I blush and slowly creep my arms around his neck. I pull myself closer to his bare chest.

Tobias presses a kiss to my nose and says, "My father asked me to speak at the council meeting today. He wants me to address Erudite's concern about the factionless distributions."

I frown at the mention of the Erudite. I have my reservations when it comes to cooperating with them, but I keep quiet. It's not my place to say. I'm sure the members of the council are more than qualified to handle such matters. Though, the idea leaves a sour taste in my mouth.

"He gave me a few pointers," Tobias continues, "but he left the bulk of it to me. I need to convince the council that we should at least compromise with Erudite, for the good of the majority."

Tobias doesn't sound as bitter as I recall he would when he would speak about Marcus. It almost sounds like he's proud of the fact his father made such a request of him.

"Does this mean you'll do it?"

"Of course," he says with a smile. "I actually need to go over my speech. I wouldn't want to look like an idiot in front of your parents." He chuckles.

Why do I feel a pang in my stomach when I think of my parents? I picture my father's face, weathered by a lifetime of frustration with the world around him, and his hair, kept short by Abnegation standard practice. I imagine my mother sitting beside him with a soft smile, reminding him to be patient, and I feel the same kind of pain in my stomach that I get when I haven't eaten in too long—a hollow pain.

"Did something happen to my parents?" I ask Tobias.

He shakes his head and gives me an eye. "No. Why would you ask that?"

"I don't know," I shrug. Everything's felt strange since I woke up. It might just be that dream I can't remember.

Tobias frowns. Gently, he takes my chin between his fingers. "I know you haven't gotten to see them too often since we've been married. Maybe we could invite them over for lunch… after the meeting?"

I smile. "I'd like that," I say, but as I do the words feel heavy and my smile melts away. Why does the thought of seeing my parents again fill me with such painful emotions?

"Ok," Tobias says, looking worriedly at me. "I'll speak to them."

I nod, trying to brush off the hollowness I feel inside my chest.

Quickly kissing me on the cheek, Tobias says, "We don't want to be late. We should get dressed." Although, I don't recall him making a habit of being early for work.

When he sits up in bed and swings his feet over the side, I rub my fingers slowly against his back. The skin there is unblemished, much smoother than I remember, and his muscles are not as defined.

Everything about this moment feels right yet it is completely wrong. Tobias wanting to make his father proud, me spending time with my parents, me being married to the most sound and gallant man in all of Abnegation, all of it feels like things that should be but aren't… can't.

Suddenly, I feel something shift in my mind, like something that was closed has just opened.

"Tobias?" I say softly.

He looks back at me. He looks handsome, perfectly handsome; not handsome in the way I've come to know and love. This Tobias isn't broken like mine. He hasn't suffered like mine. He doesn't have the scars that serve as evidence of his strength marred on his back and on his heart.

This isn't real.

"I love you," I say to the simulation, but thinking of _my_ Tobias. "I know this isn't real… but I just wanted to say _I love you_."

I close my eyes. I don't want to wake up strapped to a table in Erudite headquarters, so I don't open them right away, not even when the simulation fades. I try to preserve the image of Tobias and his messy brown hair sticking up in the air for as long as I can.

When all I see is the redness of my own eyelids, I open them.

"You'll have to do better than that!" I shout at Jeanine. I hear her scoff over the intercom, but she doesn't say anything. She accepts my challenge, and not more than five seconds later, before I've completely recuperated from the simulation, I begin to feel myself drifting off and everything starts to go dark again.

"Oh, no," I mumble to myself.

Jeanine tries to put me under again, only I don't stay down for long- a few seconds at most. I'm violently jerked awake by the loud sound of a massive explosion, and my eyes flash open only for my vision to be clouded by thick dust and debris in the air.

I hear shouting and feet scrambling and I pull at my limbs, expecting them to be strapped to the table. But there's no resistance; someone untied me. Confused, but not having time to waste, I stand to get up and run. I don't get far; Jeanine's hands suddenly clamp tightly around my shoulders, holding me in place. She then pushes me back hard onto the table.

"You are not going anywhere!" she yells at me.

"Let her go!" I hear Tobias say, and then he growls loudly. I immediately turn toward the sound of his voice, my eyes wide and searching, and there he is, standing all the way at the entrance of the room, but that distance shrinks when I see him.

He came for me.

"Tobias," I say, and it sounds like a gasp.

There's blood trailing down the side of his face, marking his grey shirt with red. His upper body pulses as he pants, and the look on his face is pure determination. With his arms stretched out in front of him, Tobias aims his gun at Jeanine's head. He clicks the bullet in the chamber and takes a step closer toward his target. "I said let her go," he says menacingly.

Beside me, Jeanine laughs, although she's unarmed and there are no guards here. I suddenly ask myself where all the traitor Dauntless went. Tobias couldn't have possibly killed everyone before he found me. Could he?

"Do you really think you can rescue her?" she asks flatly, not at all sounding threatened or frightened. She releases my shoulders and puts her arms up in the air. I stand from the table, and my first few steps toward Tobias are careful and slow, but then they become quicker and in no time I'm running to him.

He stretches out his free hand to catch me and I throw myself toward him.

"Oh God. Tobias," I cry out as I wrap my arms around him, pressing my face into his neck. His arms tighten around me and squeeze. Warmth and comfort course through me. Even though we're not even close to getting out of here yet, I feel safe.

He holds me for too short a time then pushes me behind him. He wraps his fingers around my palm and squeezes tightly. I press my other hand to the side of his head that's coated with blood. The blood streams from a wound on his ear—the top of his ear is gone. I gasp.

"You will never get out of here alive. I'm sure you're aware of that," Jeanine states with her arms still held high.

"Tobias, what did you do?" I mumble so softly he doesn't hear me. Although a large part of me knew Tobias would try and rescue me the second he realized I was missing, I had hoped he would have thought it through and brought others. I had hoped he would not have burst into Erudite headquarters alone.

"Neither will you." Staring straight into Jeanine's eyes, and without a moment of hesitation, Tobias pulls the trigger. I scream at the sound of the gunshot, and I gasp when Jeanine's body falls lifelessly to the floor, blood gushing from her head. When I freeze in place, Tobias tugs at my arm. "Let's go, Tris! We have to run!"

"She was unarmed," is all I can say. It's not that I'm not happy Jeanine is dead. It was just uncharacteristic of Tobias to kill her in cold blood. Especially knowing Jack Kang insisted she was to stand trial in Candor for her crimes and we were under no circumstances to take justice into our own hands. Or maybe by touching _me_ she pushed my husband a little too far, and he decided not to care about the very severe consequences of his actions.

"I don't have time to explain," he answers quickly. "Come on."

Still feeling weary from the mind serum and the simulation, I struggle to keep up with Tobias but I do my best. With his arm wrapped around my waist, I let him lead me out of the room.

We make it through the door of the simulation room and down the first hallway without difficulty, but in the second hallway we encounter two traitor Dauntless, a young man and one a middle-aged woman. Tobias fires twice in a matter of seconds, both hits, one in the head and one in the chest. The woman, who was hit in the chest, slumps lifelessly against the wall.

We keep moving as if there were nothing consequential about killing another human being. We rush through one hallway, then another, Tobias' grip on my hand never faltering. We step over fallen bodies—the people Tobias killed on the way in, probably—and then a long staircase I don't ever recall seeing. There's a door at the bottom of it.

Squeezing my hand, Tobias runs down the stairs pulling me behind him. I am gasping for air but I don't care, not when I'm finally escaping this place. My vision starts to go black at the edges, so I grab Tobias' arm and hold on tight, trusting him to lead me safely to the bottom of the stairs. But eventually I can't run anymore, and I stop in the middle of the staircase to catch my breath. I put my hands on my knees, leaning over.

"Tris we need to go," He urges. He grabs my right shoulder and squeezes too tightly. I wince as his fingers press into the fresh tattoo underneath them. When he passes me a confused look, my breathing slows and I frown and look up at him.

"Come on, let's get out of here," he says insistently.

My stomach sinks. I stare into his dark blue eyes. I stand up straight, take his chin in hand and pull his lips down to mine, kissing him slowly, sighing as I pull back.

"We can't get out of here," I say. "Because this is a simulation."

I sensed something was wrong the minute he killed Jeanine, but it only hit me just now when he grabbed my shoulder. The real Tobias would have remembered my tattoo. Jeanine obviously didn't take into account how much attention my husband pays to me. The thought makes me smile.

"What?" He scowls at me. "Don't you think I would know if I was under a simulation?"

"You aren't under a simulation, Tobias. You _are_ the simulation."

I run my fingers slowly through his hair and I give him one last kiss, just in case it really is our last, and as I let go he disappears. All the life goes out of me as soon as the image of him is gone. My body slumps into the floor. I feel as the tears build up behind my eyes, fuelled by disappointment and rage.

Jeanine is still playing with my mind.

Now alone on the staircase, I look up and say in a loud voice, "You'll have to do better than that, Jeanine!" and I hear her voice in my head say, "That was only the beginning."

* * *

I wake to the worst headache I've ever had. I try to go back to sleep. At least when I'm asleep, I'm calm. But I can't seem to close my eyes for more than a minute without waking up fear-struck, trying to figure out if what I'm looking at is real.

Simulation after simulation, Jeanine tortured me. I woke up from every single one of them even though she made each one more difficult than the one before it. I could sense her frustration a lot more than I did her curiosity. Being the smartest person in the room, she didn't take it well- standing face to face with something- _someone-_ who completely bewildered her.

When they finally brought me back to my tiny containment room, I spent twenty minutes trying to figure out if I was really here. When nothing happened I concluded that either I'm really in this room, or Jeanine decided to leave me under, holding me hostage inside a simulation.

I jump when the metal door unlocks. It's the first sound I've heard in what I imagine to be hours, ever since the lights went off. When the door creaks open I expect to see the last face I saw- the Erudite girl who brought me something to eat. But I see no face at all; whoever opens the door doesn't put the light on. Instead they close the door behind them and take a seat beside me.

I chuckle and shake my head. I am way too tired for this.

"What do you want?" I mumble.

"To make sure you're ok," a voice says, and I immediately come to life. I spin to look beside me and before my eyes even adjust I know who it is.

"Lola?!" I almost shout.

Her hand clasps against my mouth and she urges me to be quiet. "No one can know I'm here. Jeanine already knows about me," she says forcefully. "I deactivated the cameras in this room, but if the guards hear you, they will come and if they find me here they will kill me."

I nod, agreeing to be quiet for her sake, though I'm confused out of my mind. Is Lola really here? And if she is, what does that mean?

I want to bang my head against the wall. It might give me some clarity.

"Is Tobias here?" I've come to the pathetic point where it doesn't matter that he isn't real. I always look forward to seeing simulation Tobias. I miss him so much that anything will do.

"No," she answers. "I came alone. It isn't safe for them yet." When I frown she adds, "We're getting you out of here, Tris."

I laugh wryly, pushing my back into the wall. "Sure you are. You're probably not even real."

Lola brushes my cheek and fixes a fly away hair from the top of my head. I turn to look at her. She looks different in Erudite blue and with her hair in a bun; she looks older. Lola rubs her thumb underneath my eyes and says, "She's been putting you through simulations all day, hasn't she?"

I nod and then turn to look at the floor.

"Why?" Lola asks, sounding genuinely confused. "I thought she was just keeping you here as bait for Tobias. What is she trying to accomplish?"

I look at Lola again, and everything about her feels so real. I'm not too quick to buy into it. After all, each simulation was more realistic than the one before it, and when I fought hard enough, I'd find the flaw in it. But I decide I'm too tired to fight. Besides, it's nice to talk to a new face. I've been seeing the same ones over and over again today. And what harm could it possibly do, as long as I don't reveal anything Jeanine isn't supposed to know?

"Using me as bait was the original plan," I answer. "And she also tried to get information out of me. But when she realized I was resistant to her mind serum she became… intrigued. Starting running tests on me. She mentioned trying to fix the attack serum, making a strain of it that Divergents aren't resistant to. But so far none of her serums have passed the test."

Lola stares wide eyed at me.

"What is it?"

"You're resistant to the mind serum?" she asks, her voice filled with awe.

"Yes."

She slowly shakes her head. "You're not safe here, Tris."

"I thought that was a given."'

"No," she says strongly. "You don't understand. Jeanine hates equations she doesn't know the answer to. They tip her over the edge. And if she can't find a way to solve it…" her voice fades off.

"She's going to kill me, isn't she?" I needlessly infer.

"She will after she gets what she wants. So don't give her what she wants before we get here."

"I doubt I have a say in the matter," I say with a small shrug. "It's not like I'm waking up from the simulations on purpose." There's always something there that triggers me, makes me know it's not real.

Lola nods. "I will admit… that's actually quite fascinating. Though I'm not surprised. You're pretty strong headed. Jeanine got more than she bargained for when she took you."

"It was Emily," I confess softly, pressing both my palms into the floor.

"We know. We saw her on the surveillance cameras." Lola shakes her head disapprovingly. "It should never be this hard competing with another woman."

"It's not a competition," I say sharply and dart my eyes at her.

She smirks. "You're absolutely right. She's got nothing on you. You know Kade told me what you did… at Candor." She smiles at me. "You love hard. I like that. I might start asking you for tips."

I scoff and give her an eye. "I'm sure you have no trouble in that department. You're beautiful." I sound groggy when I speak, and for some reason I rest my head on her shoulder. She smells like perfume.

Lola chuckles and blushes at the same time. "Thank you," she says. "But believe it or not, it's incredibly hard to show up a dead woman whose only flaw was loving her son too much."

She's speaking about Evelyn and I begin to wonder all over again if Lola is really here. I'm not sure exactly how the simulation serums work, but I do believe Jeanine cannot include what she does not know.

Lola rests her back on the wall and slouches closer beside me.

"So essentially she was flawless," I say.

Lola lets out a soft chuckle. "Precisely. I never stood a chance in hell."

I nod. There's nothing quite like a mother's love for her child, and I've found it goes the other way around too. I'd do anything to have my mother back here with me.

"I never got to tell you… I'm sorry about your mother," I say to Lola. It's been on my mind since I heard her interrogation. It was the first thing that made me think maybe we could trust her, because I understood her pain. I understood what it felt like to suddenly lose your voice of reason, your backbone, the person who was everything you could hope to be.

"I'm sorry about _yours_ ," she says.

"Is that why you want to get rid of the factions?" I ask, feeling curious, just in case it really _is_ her.

She nods. "Yes. There's no humanity in a system that forbids a girl from holding her mother's hand as she's dying."

"How would that work though? We'd all just be factionless?"

"I think you'd enjoy being factionless, Tris. There's no artificial bullshit. No pretending. A person can just be. You're free to love something more than a faction and what it stands for." Though she speaks softly, I can hear the passion in her voice.

"That would be nice," I admit. "I spent most of my life trying to be someone I wasn't. I loved Abnegation as much as I hated it. And now I love being Dauntless as much as I can't stand them sometimes," I chuckle.

"I get that," Lola says with a smile. "It's funny how sometimes you don't know what's missing until you find it."

For some reason, my mind instantly takes me back to the first time I felt Tobias' lips against mine. It was an incredible feeling, a wholeness that I'd never felt before. He was all I needed before I even realized I needed something.

"That's what it felt like when I fell in love with Tobias," I whisper.

"That's what it felt like when I fell in love with Maddox," she whispers back.

I nod and look at her, raw emotion on her face. As much as she is a mystery to me, I do understand Lola on some level. I don't really think we're that different.

I smile at her, then I begin to chuckle. Before I know it, I'm laughing.

"What is it?"

"Look at me," I say groggily, "having such a deep and meaningful conversation with a simulation."

Lola only smiles at me.

When we hear rustling outside, she quickly stands to her feet and checks her watch.

"What time is it?" I whisper.

She crouches down and says, "It's two o' clock in the morning, Tris. You've been here almost ten hours."

I scoff. That's when I know for sure she isn't real. I've been here for at least twenty-four hours, though they've only fed me once.

Slowly, Lola removes a blue pin from her hair and pushes it into mine. "Get some rest, Tris," she whispers, rubbing her hand against my hair. "Just a few more hours. Tobias and the others will come for you tomorrow. I promise."

I nod, allowing her promise to console me. And finally I give in to sleep.


	51. Unbreakable Passion Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

 **TOBIAS**

Tonight is easily the worst night of my life. The past twelve hours have been torturous, and as exhausted as I am I haven't been able to fall asleep. Zeke and the others decided to wait with me in the apartment, although none of them know what to say. I don't really _want_ them to say anything. Words aren't what's going to bring Tris back. And truthfully I'd rather pretend they're not here. I'm a wreck and I wish I were alone.

I pace from one corner of the large living room to the other for about the hundredth time tonight. Lola and Kade left for Erudite six hours ago and I can't stop asking myself what's taking them so long. I keep thinking maybe Lola's having trouble finding Tris or maybe she got caught. Either way, they have about five more minutes before I go looking for Tris myself.

"They're here," Uriah barges through the front door, startling everybody inside. "I saw them on the surveillance cameras."

I immediately stiffen. A part of me wants to ask if Tris is with them, but I'm not sure I'd be able to handle the disappointment. Lola forewarned me that more than likely she wouldn't be able to get Tris out of Erudite without being caught. Apparently Jeanine tends to keep her prisoners either heavily guarded or heavily sedated.

We all gather in front of the door, and finally, at four o' clock in the morning, Lola walks into the apartment meant for me and Tris. Quietly and all dressed in Erudite blue, she walks past us and into the living room. She leans up against the couch and doesn't make eye contact with any of us. Everyone stares at her expectantly, waiting for her to say something. Her silence is maddening and frightening at the same time.

"Well?" I demand when Lola says nothing at all.

She lifts her head and stares at me for a second. "It's not good, Tobias," she says softly.

Tense, I clench my fists at my side. "What do you mean _it's not good_?" I say almost angrily.

"Could we talk alone?" Lola sighs.

"I don't see why that's necessary," Christina butts in, walking over from the door to the couch. "We're her friends."

But Lola pays her no mind. Instead she continues to look at me and only me. Quite frankly I don't care what her terms are. I lost all sense of reasoning the minute I realized Tris was missing. If the others have to leave for me to hear what the hell is happening to my wife then let them leave.

"Thanks for waiting up, guys, but you can go now."

"Tobias-" Shauna begins.

"I said you can go," I say sternly. And quite uncomfortably, everyone begins to walk out of the apartment. Susan is the last to leave, and she presses a soft and comforting palm into my shoulder. I nod and usher her through the door, closing it behind her.

"Did you find her?" I turn around to ask Lola, cutting right to the chase. She looks unscathed so I imagine she got in and out without any trouble.

She walks around the couch and takes a seat. "I did. But there's a problem."

"What problem?" I ask nervously. Quickly, I make my way toward her and I stand in front of her as if the answer to that question doesn't have the potential to tear me into shreds. I cross my arms tightly in front of my chest and I feel like I want to crumble into myself.

Lola looks up at me. Her dark eyes are filled with concern or something of the sort. "Can I ask you something?" she asks softly. I don't answer. "What are Tris' aptitudes?"

I raise my eyebrow at her. "Why is that important?"

"It's a bit of a story." She sighs. "Maybe you should sit."

"I'll stand," I rebut, unable to keep the frustration out of my voice.

"Ok," she says calmly, and then she presses her palms into her thighs. After letting out a long breath, she begins, "When I re-joined Erudite a few years ago, I was part of a team of scientists whose sole purpose was understanding the mind and how to alter thought process using serums. Jeanine told us we were doing research for brain degenerative disorders, and well… I knew that was bullshit. Anyway," she shrugs, "I was invested in it because of Rodney. I had seen how his memory loss affected the relationship between him and Kade. I thought maybe my greatest gift to Kade would be giving him his uncle back." She pauses. "I worked on it for weeks without sleeping. I must have mapped out millions of schematics and synapses, knowing there must be a way to directly trigger the memory centre of the brain. I even reverse engineered the Amity's memory serum."

"The Amity have a memory serum?" I can't help but ask despite the fact that I'd rather we just skip to the part where she tells me about Tris.

"Yes," Lola answers. "I had to pull a few strings to get it. Jeanine doesn't even know it exists- thank God. You can't begin to imagine what she'd do with it. So I kept my research private and I used it to make my own serum. Ultimately, it didn't do what I had intended, but it _was_ powerful. It _is_ ," she says. "With it, you could navigate the mind of any person. You could see their memories more clearly than your own. But what was most special about it was that asides from the truth serum, it was the only other serum fabricated that could subdue a Divergent."

This gets my attention. "Subdue?"

Lola nods. "The flaw in all of Jeanine's serums is that the Divergent are resistant to them. So when she learned I had created one without that flaw, she combed through my work to try and figure out how I accomplished the one thing she couldn't. I told her it was a fluke, which it was. What I _didn't_ tell her was that even though it wasn't my intention, I knew why it worked the way it did."

"How could you let her get her hands on something like that? Knowing what she is and what she would do with it?" I had imagined Lola being far more careful than that.

"Honestly, I destroyed the batch I had made the minute I realized what it could do," she says. "But someone tipped her off and she got her hands on the chemical composition before I could get rid of it."

I scoff and shake my head. "And why are you telling me this?"

"Jeanine tried to use the mind serum on Tris, but it didn't work." Lola pauses and looks at me as if I'm supposed to know what that means. Eventually, she adds, "That's never happened before, Tobias."

I shrug. "So Tris is more stubborn than the average Divergent. What else is new?"

"The thing is Jeanine decided to overlook the flaw in her simulation when she carried out the attack on Abnegation, but she's always been hoping to solve it."

"I take it you're trying to tell me Tris is somehow the answer to Jeanine's biggest problem," I say, sounding highly annoyed. But it's not at Lola, it's at everything else. This whole situation just keeps getting worse by the minute and I feel like I have no control over any of it.

"She is," Lola says. "And if Jeanine studies her long enough, she'll solve it."

I close my eyes as I let out a long and heavy breath. The sudden feeling of hopelessness is crippling and I decide to take a seat across from Lola before my knees give in. "She's Abnegation, Dauntless, and Erudite," I say, finally answering her initial question.

Lola's eyebrows furrow. "She tested positive for _three_ factions?"

I nod.

"That's incredible," she says, awestruck. The Erudite in her can't help but think of my wife as some sort of anomaly. I suppose in a way she is, but none of that ever mattered to us. What brought Tris and I closer together was the fact that we could just _be_ when we were around each other, not having to pretend to be of one faction or the other.

"What does this mean for us?" I ask Lola, pulling her out of her trance.

She shakes her head slowly. "Tobias… Jeanine will stop at nothing to break open Tris' mind. Not because she wants to know what's inside- not anymore, but because she needs to ensure it can be done. And if she figures out how, the next time she wants to mind control everyone she'll be able to do just that. There will be no Divergents to oppose her. So it's in everyone's best interest that we rescue Tris before Jeanine unlocks that particular information."

"That wasn't up for debate," I say strongly. I couldn't care less in whose best interest it was to rescue Tris. It was definitely always in mine and hers.

"No, I don't imagine it was. But you need to take into consideration that Jeanine won't let her go without a fight." Lola crosses her arms and leans back into the couch. "Rescuing Tris might mean killing Jeanine."

As much as I'd like to lodge a bullet deep into her skull, killing Jeanine is not an option, at least not one given by Jack Kang. She is to be apprehended and delivered to Candor for questioning and sentencing. Those were the terms of his alliance. Kang was afraid Dauntless would try and take justice into their own hands, giving rise to a city governed by a group of vigilantes instead of law and order.

If Jeanine is prematurely killed at our hand, I would be stripped of my title as rightful leader of the city, and the alliance of Dauntless, Abnegation and the factionless would be alienated from the city's governance. To be honest, that would be fine if we all didn't rely on Amity for food.

"Why would we have to?" I ask. "Why can't we just take Tris and go?"

"You think Jeanine is just gonna let us walk out with her most prized possession?" Lola scoffs. "The second she realizes Tris is gone, things are gonna get ugly real fast. Not to mention we risk her using whatever she's already learned against us when she retaliates."

"Well then we don't give her a chance to. We capture her and deliver her to Candor. We do both things at once," I suggest.

Lola sighs. "If I thought we could pull that off, we wouldn't be having this conversation, Tobias."

"We _can_ if we lead two task forces," I insist. "One to rescue Tris and one to apprehend Jeanine."

"I can't get that many people in," Lola rebuts. "Not without help from the inside. And if Jeanine sees a horde of us coming at her she has nowhere to run, but I can't guarantee Tris' safety."

"Look. You said it yourself," I snap. "We need to get Tris out of there!"

"We do," Lola says firmly. "But we also need to consider whether or not the repercussions of a rescue would be worse than leaving her there until we figure out a way to safely get them both out."

"Leaving Tris at Erudite is not an option!" I yell, slamming my hand into the centre table.

"Hey," Lola leans over and presses a palm into my thigh. "I don't want to leave her there either. I'm just presenting the facts to you. And the fact is Kang crippled us when he made those terms. I think maybe that was the point."

"Well then we talk to Kang. Let him know the circumstances have changed and quite honestly I don't want to play his stupid game of politics!" Especially since, more than likely, Jeanine will be sentenced to death anyway.

"Even if we had the time, Kang doesn't reason like that," Lola shoots me down again. "Everything is black and white with him. And Tobias, this is not a game to him. He's not my favourite person in the world but he's doing what he thinks is necessary to have some sort of order in a city where peace is so fragile." She sighs. "Whatever choice you make affects everybody under your command. That was the charge Kang gave to you as rightful leader of this city."

As much as I don't want to see her point, I do. Kang is painstakingly Candor. To him Tris is just one person. He won't care that she's my world. If Jeanine dies at our hand, he'll keep his word and we'll all probably suffer when we finally run out of food and provisions. However, if we spare Jeanine, we run the risk of being hit by a brutal retaliation when she realizes Tris is gone. I don't know what it says of me that I'd rather face both those consequences at the same time before I lose my wife. But the problem is I won't be the only one facing them.

I already see the choice I have to make. Tris' safety… or everyone else's.

"So it's my _responsibility_ to give up the one thing in this world that I _do_ want so that I can save something I never wanted in the first place?" I'm sure frustration is written all over my face because Lola says nothing. I dig my fingers through my hair and my elbows press hard into my thighs. "I should have never left her alone. We would have been in Amity by now. She would have been safe."

"There is no point in thinking like that. Nothing good comes of it. Besides, Jeanine _is_ known for her impeccable timing," Lola says softly. Although, I find it hard to believe her taking Tris when she did was a coincidence.

I sit up again and let out a breath. "Shouldn't the other leaders be here? Since this affects them too?"

"Kade will support you in whatever you decide-" Lola begins, but I cut her off with a scoff. I'm almost sure she rolls her eyes at me. "Can I say something?"

I don't answer; I only look at her.

"I don't mean to get side-tracked," she continues anyway. "But since you brought it up... Honestly, I get why you're upset with him. I do. But I also know what it's like to lose the person you love most. I know what it can do to you, how conflicted it makes you feel when you've made promises to them that you don't want to keep."

I suppose she's talking about the promise Kade made to my mother to leave me in Abnegation. Although I'm sure my mother never thought she would die and leave me behind; she thought she'd always be there to protect me. If she had known she never would have made him make that promise and he should have known that. Either way, I don't want to talk about it.

"What about the others?"

Lola sighs at my obvious disregard to her comment. "Zeke will charge right in there with you as long as you say the word," she says.

"And Tori?"

"Irrelevant. She's outnumbered." Lola gives me a compassionate eye. "Tobias, this is entirely up to you."

It is, and I don't care what kind of a man it makes me, I'm too desperate to want anything else but Tris. "I won't rest until she's in my arms, Lola," I say.

Lola stands to her feet. "Ok. Then we leave after daybreak. I already told her we're coming."

"What?" I raise an eyebrow at her. She always knew I'd choose Tris. "So why even bother to ask?"

"Transparency," she answers with a small shrug.

When she turns and starts to walk toward the door, I blurt out, "Lola… How is she?"

She turns her head around to look at me. Her eyes and cheeks sink a little. "She's strong. Much stronger than I could have imagined." She pauses for a short while and just looks at me. "And Tobias," she says to me. "Just so you know, he mourned her for years. But he mourned you for longer." And then she lets herself out.

* * *

 **A/N: Hey guys! Hope you enjoyed this chapter and are excited for what comes next! Bittersweet news though- since I'll be taking a 2 week vacation real soon (Yaaay!), Chapter 25 will be posted in 3 weeks instead of 2 (Noooo!). I really hope you guys are still here when I get back. Trust me, you won't wanna miss it ;)**


	52. Unbreakable Passion Chapter 25

**A/N: So I'm back after a short break! Thanks to everyone who wished me well on my vacay! :) It was just extraordinary. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

 **Chapter 25**

 **TRIS**

Despite whatever new horrors await me, I walk into Jeanine's simulation room with my head held high. I'm not afraid of her, and that might be because of the small blue pin I found sticking out of my hair this morning.

Lola really _was_ here. And that means Tobias is coming for me today.

I roll my eyes as I push past Emily, wanting yet again to laugh at her senseless attempt to steal my husband from me, but I decide not to waste my breath on her. Especially considering these might be my last if Tobias and the others don't get here in time.

I find the simulation room not as empty as it was yesterday. Standing beside Emily, just at the door, are four traitor Dauntless. Jeanine stands near the metal table in the centre of the room, and along with her are three Erudite scientists- two men and a tall woman. The men appear to be much older, their hair as white as their lab coats. The woman, on the other hand, looks to be about the same age as Jeanine.

With their arms long at their sides, they all eye me curiously as I willingly make my way toward the table.

"Interesting," the Erudite woman says. "I'm intrigued by her cooperation."

And _I'm_ intrigued by their ability to find everything I do and say fascinating. I bet if I were to die today, Jeanine wouldn't think twice to dissect my brain as if it were her upper level science project.

"I believe that to be a direct result of her previous experience," Jeanine answers coolly. "She expects that whatever we do today will have no effect on her."

She's wrong. I haven't failed to notice the extra machinery and restraints set up around the table; whatever they do to me today will definitely be worse than yesterday. But I won't tell her that; I pretend I don't hear them.

Jeanine walks elegantly toward me, looking as pristine and Erudite as ever. I could never understand the need for their excessive make-up, pointy shoes and heels. My father once compared them to clowns walking on stilts.

"Get on the table," she says to me, sounding bored.

I stare for a second at the metal table, wondering what could be worse than the mental torture of a distorted reality. What's worse than not being able to trust your own mind?

I swallow hard before sitting down on the cold table.

"I must tell you, Beatrice," one of the Erudite men says. It's hard to see his eyes through his thick glasses and I only know he's looking at me because he's speaking to me. "Having been personally involved in the fabrication and testing of the serums used yesterday, I would have never thought it possible that a person could resist them. How do you do it?"

I frown, remembering Lola had asked me the same thing. I don't know the answer.

"I don't know," I answer flatly. "It just happens."

"It is important that you try and pinpoint exactly what it is that wakes you up," the Erudite woman says.

"Because that's the flaw in your cocktail? Even if I knew I wouldn't tell you," I snap at her. "Why would I help you make a stronger serum?"

"Because that is the only way I will keep you alive," Jeanine answers with an expressionless face, leaning into mine. "If I cannot make a serum potent enough to subdue the strongest Divergents, then I will be forced to exterminate all of you."

I scoff. "I thought that was _always_ your plan."

"Contrary to what you may believe, Beatrice, I am trying to preserve our city's population."

"Says the woman who murdered an entire faction," I say sarcastically. I see Emily uncomfortably shift in the corner as if she had somehow forgotten that these are the very same people responsible for murdering her parents. I don't know how she can stand to breathe the same air as them.

Now standing beside me, Jeanine says, "Given that you will never be able to grasp our reasoning, I see no point in wasting time explaining it to you. However, you should be honoured that you at least have a part to play in the creation of a new and better city. Understanding your resistance to the serums will ensure that Divergents get to keep their lives, Beatrice. All you have to do is tell us how you do it. What it is that tips you off?"

Jeanine leans her head to the side and studies my face, and I stare blankly at her studying the details of hers. We have the same hair colour, but her eyes are much bluer than mine.

"I. Don't. Know."

She lets out a breath. "Shall I tell you an interesting story?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"When I was developing the Dauntless simulations, years ago, we discovered that certain levels of potency overwhelmed the brain and made it too insensible with terror to invent new surroundings," she says. "Which was when we diluted the solution so the simulations would be more instructive. But I still remember how to make it."

She pulls a syringe out of her pocket and taps it with her fingernail. It does look like the Dauntless simulation serum, only much darker.

"Fear," she says, "is more powerful than pain. So I'm going to give you one last chance to answer me, Beatrice. How do you resist the serums?"

"I told you, I don't know!" I almost shout, feeling my heartbeat pick up inside my chest. I'm actually glad I don't. That way I could never tell her.

"Very well then," Jeanine says, sounding as mechanical as she always does. "In a few seconds, I will inject you with this liquid. At that point, I trust you will tell me exactly what I need to know."

There's a part of me that's already terrified, unsure of what the serum will do to me, unsure of what will happen to me within the next few hours. What if this is when I die? What if Tobias comes and finds my lifeless body thrown into some dark room? I can't imagine what that would do to him.

Jeanine gestures at me, and suddenly I feel hands clamp all over me. The traitor Dauntless grab my wrists and ankles, pinning me to the table. I writhe, throwing all my strength into the struggle, but one of them just lifts me up, dodging my kicking feet, and slams me down on the metal slab, knocking the wind out of me.

I gasp, and fling a fist out at whatever I can hit, but there's nothing but air at the end of my punches.

One of them holds down my ankles, and the other holds down my shoulders as Emily pulls black straps across my body to keep me pinned. I flinch at the pain in my shoulder and stop struggling.

I press my lips together when Jeanine inserts the needle, and realizing I have no choice, I wait for what comes next.

It begins quietly, with the pounding of my heart. I hear it first through the heart monitor, but then it becomes louder and louder until it's so loud that it's the only thing I can hear. It gets faster and faster, and sweat collects in my palms and behind my knees. And then I have to gasp in order to breathe.

That's when the screaming starts.

Something far worse than physical pain courses through my body, torturing my senses. Above me, the lines between the ceiling tiles warp and twist into monstrous creatures. The scent of rotting flesh fills the air and I gag. The monstrous creatures take on a more definite shape—they are birds, crows, with beaks as long as my forearm and wings so large and dark they seem to swallow all the light. My screams are so frightening that I don't even recognize them as my own.

"Sedative," a stern voice commands.

Another needle in my neck, and my heart begins to slow down. I sob with relief, clutching at the edges of the table. For seconds all I can do is gasp through my sobbing, trying my catch to breath.

That was not fear. That was something else; an emotion that should not exist.

"Are you ready to talk now, Beatrice?"

But I can't speak. I can't seem to regain control of myself. I keep sobbing.

"How do you do it?!" Jeanine yells at me. "How do you resist the serum?!"

"I don't know," I whimper softly, then again, but louder that time.

Frustrated, Jeanine turns around to the other scientists. "Give me another vial."

They don't hesitate to hand it over to her, and I feel myself shaking on the table. I don't want to go through that again. I can't.

"No!" I cry out, but it falls on deaf ears. Jeanine stabs me in the neck with the syringe, harsher than she needs to, and plunges a second dose of the horrible serum into my veins.

"You will tell me what I need to know," she says strongly.

"Just tell her, Tris!" Emily yells at me. "Don't be an idiot!" As if she cares about my wellbeing. As if she cares about what's happening to me right now.

I shake my head from side to side, because I can't speak and I don't know how else to make them believe I'm telling the truth. As an indescribable amount of utter fear surges through me again, I close my eyes to the horrible images in front of me. I scream louder than I ever have and I clench my fists so hard they go numb.

"Could it possibly be that the girl really does not know how she does it?" I faintly hear one of the Erudite men ask. "Perhaps she is not doing it on purpose."

"No!" Jeanine insists. "She knows!"

She holds my head still and plunges the sedative into my neck again. I gasp for air, welcoming the relief.

Jeanine storms over to one of the traitor Dauntless standing by the door, and she grabs the gun from his hand. She stalks furiously across the room, back toward me, and presses the barrel to my forehead. "What is it?!" she yells at me.

My body stiffens, then goes cold. But in that horrible moment I have the faintest reassurance she won't shoot me. I am a problem she can't solve. She won't shoot me.

"What is it that clues you in? Tell me," she insists, trying to sound composed. "Tell me or I will kill you."

Still breathing heavily, I relax myself into the table. I've defeated her. I've broken her. The one woman who can solve anything cannot figure me out. Staring into her eyes, I begin to chuckle.

"You think I'm going to tell you? You think I believe you would kill me without figuring out the answer to this question?"

"You stupid girl," she seethes. "This is not about you. It is not about me. It is about keeping this city safe from destruction and chaos caused by those among us who do not belong."

I scoff. "From what _I_ see, you're the only one causing destruction and chaos around here."

Slowly, Jeanine lowers the gun from my head. "You've left me no choice, Beatrice," she says. "I will get the information I need from you and then you will be disposed of since you refuse to cooperate."

I stare at the ceiling, no longer a series of twisted images and monsters from my greatest nightmares, and I listen to the clicking of Jeanine's heels as she walks into the other room. I have an hour at most. Tobias will come and only find my body here. After that this will all be over. There will be no trial. There will be no conversations. Tobias will kill her where she stands.

My heart races with anxiety when Jeanine approaches me again. She put away the gun, but she has a third vial of serum in her hand. I recognize it from the Candor interrogations. It's truth serum.

Confident she will get the answers she is looking for, Jeanine is slow and careful when she injects the serum this time. She takes a step back and watches me, waiting for the serum to take effect.

I don't bother to fight it. I already know it's impossible to resist truth serum. Even Tobias, a Divergent, could not. And even without having been asked anything, I feel the effects of it as it courses through me. I feel open, every thought and memory ready to jump out and expose itself at even the slightest invitation. My lips begin to tremble and I feel more unsafe than I ever have since I've been brought here.

"Jack Kang prefers to begin these interrogations with pointless questions. I have no time for such nonsense so I will get straight to the point," Jeanine says to me. "How did you resist the mind serum?"

"I focused," I answer immediately. "I concentrated on something else, forcing my mind to stay there so I wouldn't think of what you asked me."

"Interesting," Jeanine answers. "Usually when one tries to not think of something, it is inherently the first thing they think of. How is it you overcame such a potent force of human nature?"

"I didn't focus my energy in avoiding the thoughts you wanted to see. I was focused on thoughts I knew you _didn't_ want to see."

"That would require an immense amount of mental control, Beatrice, and it's hard for me to believe you possess such control. You seem impulsive and rude. It serves as a contradiction."

I can't help but roll my eyes. Not like I would have stopped myself otherwise. "Contradiction or not, the evidence is right in front of you. You can question it because it challenges your theories and everything you _think_ you know about me, but it won't change anything."

"Hmf," Jeanine says softly. "And what about the simulations? What was it that made you realize it wasn't real?"

"There was always something that didn't belong," I answer shakily. "A voice, a phrase, a hair out of place. And it's like a trigger. It wakes me up." To be honest I hadn't thought to tell her this before because it's not like I put them there, not on purpose. I didn't ever intentionally wake myself up. It just happened on its own every single time.

With her hands firmly at her sides, Jeanine circles me. "That makes no sense, Beatrice. We provide you with the foundation for the simulation, but your mind comes up with the small details and fills in the blanks. Why would your own mind formulate inaccurate details?"

"To warn me, I suppose."

Jeanine stops pacing and points a finger up in the air. "Like a defence mechanism."

"Yes," I answer quickly, and to be honest my answer surprises even me. I feel both intrigued and violated at the same time.

She lets out a breath and stares at me. "Your mind will never fool itself," she says. "I am unsure whether I should be fascinated or threatened by that, Beatrice. I can only hope there are no more like you. Is Tobias like you?"

"In what way?" I ask before I can stop myself. Instantly I feel my heart slamming harder against my chest, and my palms begin to sweat again. She will ask me things that she should not know. She will make me give up my husband and everything we've fought to save over the past few weeks. She will dissect me until I reveal to her every inch of our plan to destroy her.

I cannot let her do that. I cannot.

"Is he as strong a Divergent as you are?"

Considering my aptitude for three factions as opposed to two, unsteadily, I say, "No." And I shake my head. Not to reinforce my answer, but because I want to stop answering her questions before I reveal something I shouldn't.

"What makes you say that?"

"Tobias is Dauntless and Abnegation. I am Dauntless... and Erudite," I answer. And I bite my lip between my teeth until I'm sure nothing else will come out. I don't say anything else and I allow her to draw the only conclusion I know she _will_ draw- the Erudite in me makes me superior.

I allow her to draw it because I can't say it. I can't say it because I don't believe it.

I feel sweat near my hairline and in my palms, but I feel a tiny bit victorious. I withheld some of the truth. Surely that counts as deception. I fought the serum, and in that short moment, I won.

"That is enlightening," Jeanine says with a hint of enthusiasm in her voice, and she presses her palm against her hips. "I suppose every specific combination of aptitudes allows for strength of varying degrees."

I hear the other Erudite scientists murmuring behind her.

"And where is Tobias right now? Is he with the Dauntless?"

"Yes," I utter unwillingly, clenching my fists, deciding that I will continue to fight this even if it kills me.

"Are the Dauntless a considerable part of whatever plan he has to take back this city?"

I grab onto the edge of the table; the cold metal digs into my palms. I take a deep breath and I think about him, my husband, my sweet Tobias, fighting as hard as he can to save everyone. I picture his smile and even his troubled frown. All that he is, the best and worst parts of him, deserve the best of me.

"I don't know," I say and it sounds like a gasp, like it was pulled straight from my stomach. I focus, then stronger I say, "I don't know." And that's when I feel it, my mind and body freeing itself from the serum. It still pushes me toward the truth, but if I fight hard enough, I can divert it.

Jeanine twists her head to the side. "Tell me. What _do_ you know of his plans?"

"Nothing," I say quickly, trying my best to make it seem like I'm still under the full effect of the serum. The minute Jeanine realizes I'm not, she will most likely kill me, and I would lose the opportunity to mislead her.

Confused, she asks, "How could you not know? Aren't you his wife?"

"Yes," I answer. "But… It's not like that between us."

I hear Emily scoffing in the background. I'm about to make her day.

"Explain yourself," Jeanine insists.

"Tobias and I… We never married for love," I begin, and because it's not a lie it comes out smoother than I had intended it to. "Marcus forced us to because he thought Tobias' marriage to me would make the Abnegation more inclined to accept him as leader, seeing that my father was also a well-known councillor."

"Yes," Jeanine nods. "Andrew." I loathe hearing my father's name come out of her mouth.

"I told you," Emily mumbles from the corner, crossing her arms over her chest. Never in my life have I wanted to smack someone so badly.

Thankfully, Jeanine ignores her.

"That is _very_ interesting," she says, almost sounding enthused. "Your faction-mate had mentioned it to me, but honestly I didn't believe her. I thought it no more than the stupid ramblings of a jealous girl." Emily scoffs quietly, but I hear it. If I weren't so physically and mentally exhausted from using every bit of strength that I have to stay in character, I'd laugh.

"Besides, I thought we were far beyond the era of arranged marriages," Jeanine continues. "That just goes to show how far backward in time the Abnegation were trying to lead us. With Erudite in power, we will go only forward." Jeanine stands straighter and pushes out her chest a little. She walks around the table and stops at my side. "So he doesn't love you?"

I feel the answer burning inside me, and it takes far more effort than it has so far to say, "No."

"Well I was hoping he would have come to rescue you so I could apprehend him," Jeanine says, and surprisingly, she releases the straps from around my wrists and then my waist.

I sit up and rub at my wrists; they're red and swollen, tender to even the slightest touch. "I don't think he will," I lie, knowing Tobias would die for me. I feel as the serum begins to punish me for my dishonesty, my body burning as if it were on fire.

"That's no problem at all," Jeanine says nonchalantly. "To be quite honest _you're_ the one I need." She examines my face and must see the pain in my eyes, because for no particular reason at all she asks me, "And what about _you?_ Do you love Tobias?"

The answer is like a scream inside my mind, every cell in my body certain that I have never loved anyone the way I love Tobias. Since I've been trapped here all I can think about is the next time I will see him again. My body aches for him and I tremble, knowing this will be the hardest lie I'll ever have to tell.

"No. I don't," I answer, then I clench at the sides of the table, squeezing every muscle in my body as searing pain cripples me. I breathe in and out, trying my best to ride it out.

"So why did you stay with him after your faction's demise?" Jeanine asks out of sheer curiosity. She folds her arms across her chest.

"Because he was the only surviving councillor," I answer. "Abnegation would have ensured he was taken care of, which meant food and water. I would have been safer with him than anywhere else."

"I see." Jeanine squares her eyes in on me. "You _are_ quite intelligent."

She opens her mouth to say something else, but before she can utter a word there's a shout coming from the door and then a round of gunfire. The room is suddenly filled with smoke and screaming and all I see are gold sparks flashing here and there. Jeanine rushes behind the glass door, her team of scientists behind her, but in less than a second they all run back out and disappear behind a small door I hadn't even realized was there.

I quickly free my ankles from the straps and I'm about to get under the table when through the smoke, coming from behind the glass door, I spot a pair of pained and glossy, dark blue eyes staring at me.

"Tobias?" I choke out.


	53. Unbreakable Passion Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

 **TOBIAS**

Quietly, Lola guides a small team of us through an underground passage that leads to one of the maintenance rooms in the centre of Erudite headquarters. Apparently not many people come through here, just those who failed their initiation and chose to settle for janitoring before becoming factionless.

Thick wires and old, rusted plumbing line the walls, and given the scent of the place, I understand entirely why no one walks through here unless absolutely necessary. I'm sure we're grossly outnumbered by rodents and garbage in this dark and wet passageway.

Zeke chokes into his fist a couple times and then says, "And this was seriously the only way to get us in?"

Lola rolls her eyes at him. "Quiet," she whispers, although anyone nearby would hear us coming. The sound of the rhythmic crunching of dirt and stones beneath our feet is hard to miss. "And yes," Lola answers. "One or two could walk through one of the lesser guarded doors, but certainly not eight of us."

Unlike Zeke, I really don't care _how_ we get into Erudite. As long as we do. Nothing is more important to me right now than saving Tris. Although, truthfully, I wish there were more of us. If it were up to me I'd barge in with the entire artillery, but Lola has stressed over and over again the minute Jeanine realizes we're here, Tris is dead. This is first and foremost a rescue mission.

But I'm not a saint, and Jeanine is certainly not deserving of anyone's mercy. I remember only a few days ago I was unsure whether or not I'd be able to sentence her to death when she is found guilty of her crimes, but now I'd pull the trigger myself if given the opportunity. Even today, if I have to kill her to save Tris, then so be it. I'll just have to deal with the consequences of that decision later- that is if Tori doesn't beat me to it. She walks up ahead, almost as if she knows where she's going. And if anyone hadn't known before that she has a personal vendetta with Jeannine Matthews, they know now. It's written all over her face.

Kade walks protectively beside Lola, his gun ready at his side. I still haven't said a word to him since confronting him about my mother, although Zeke tells me I should lighten up considering he's helping us save Tris. I'm not sure he'd say the same if he knew exactly why I'm not quite in the mood to have a conversation with the man. But I will agree that I should at least be grateful he's here to help. Above all else, getting Tris back is my priority. I couldn't sleep at all last night. All I could think about was Tris, if she's ok, what horrible things Jeanine might be doing to her. The only thing that got me through it was the fact that it would only be one night, because I will not leave this place without her.

I adjust the blue band on my arm, absolutely certain I don't wear it well, but we all need to pass as traitor Dauntless if we're gonna pull this off. Even Shauna feels funny with the band around her arm. It represents everything we're against.

I feel a rush of fresh air on my face and I look up to see a cracked door up ahead. Light pierces through it, shining on the ugly grey walls of the forsaken passage.

"There it is," Lola says, and she stretches out her hand to urge us to a stop. "When we walk through that door," she begins, "there's no turning back. Stay close, act natural, and pray nobody recognizes me." She's wearing Dauntless black and her hair is down, covering the sides of her face, but anyone who knows her well enough would recognize her in a heartbeat.

Slowly, she pushes open the door and peeps inside to make sure the room is empty. Apart from about a dozen buckets and mops, there's nothing else inside. We use the opportunity to ready our guns and take one last deep breath before walking inside.

"We walk in two groups," Kade says. "Lola, Tobias, Shauna and Zeke will be up front. Uriah, Susan, Tori and I will stay close behind. We might have to split up in groups of two but for now we try and stick together. Only use the radios if absolutely necessary."

We all nod, then the first group steps out. The others wait for a couple seconds before following after us.

I have to adjust my eyes when I step into the Erudite hallway. Its walls are bright and almost sparkling like tile. The paint isn't flat and dead like the ones used in Abnegation. Even the doors that lead to the most unimportant of rooms look pristine. It makes me wonder how they ever justified scrutinizing _us_ about resources, when by the looks of this place, they keep the best of it for themselves.

"Whoa," Shauna says with a gasp. She eyes the light panels on the roof; they flow alongside a white swirl design and are encased in chrome. "They sure put a lot of thought into the lights."

Lola snickers and says, "You should see the dining area." But her smile disappears the second she sees a group of people walking toward us. We don't slow down or turn around. Lola says the Erudite don't usually acknowledge the presence of the traitor Dauntless. Some of them would rather they not be here at all, but are just being civil since the Dauntless are Jeanine's guests. And considering the amount of traitor Dauntless in this building, it's unlikely we'd run into someone who knew we didn't belong.

We pass a few more people along the way, but we don't earn a second glance from any of them. Not until-

"Hello," a male voice says from behind us. But Lola and Zeke keep walking and so do Shauna and I. "Excuse me. I'm speaking to you," the Erudite man insists, and he walks a little faster to catch up to us. "The Dauntless quarters are on the _second_ floor. And this area is temporarily off limits."

"We know where our quarters are," Lola answers. "Not that it's any of your business but we're to relieve the Dauntless guarding the prisoner."

"Well I assure you, you will not find her in her cell."

I cringe at the idea of Tris being locked up in a cell. I had imagined as much, but hearing it out loud provokes a whirlpool of emotions inside me and I have to clench my fists at my side just so I don't lose control of myself.

Lola raises an eyebrow at the man. "She was relocated? Where?"

He scoffs. "Shouldn't you know that?"

"Don't be a smartass," Lola seethes, taking a threatening step toward him. "You're wasting our time. Where did they take her?"

The man simply shrugs, shoving his hands inside his pockets as if he couldn't care less that my wife is locked away somewhere in this godforsaken place. He's lying and I can see it in his eyes. It infuriates me so much that I snap, and swiftly unclenching my fists, I shove him up against the wall- hard. "Where is she?!" I yell.

As his back thuds against the wall, he squeals, "Who are you people?!"

"Answer the question," I seethe, and I wrap my hands tight around his scrawny throat.

"Four," Lola growls threateningly at me, grabbing my wrist. "Don't be an idiot." I'm about to brush her off when she steps closer to me, tightening her grip on my arm. "What do you think we'll have to do with him now that he knows we don't belong here?"

The man's eyes open wide after he comes to the only logical conclusion to her question, so wide that I see as fear pours into them. "Please don't kill me!" he begs, throwing his hands up in the air. "I won't tell anyone you're here! I swear! I'll cooperate!"

Slowly, I tighten my grip around his neck. "Then it's in your best interest to tell me where my wife is." I lean threateningly closer to his face.

"I don't know where they took her," he says quickly, his voice trembling after every word. He starts to frantically shake his head, but then stops when he realizes that only makes it harder for him to breathe.

"Four!" I hear Tori yell at me, "What the hell is going on here?" She, Kade, Uriah and Susan approach quickly, eyeing the situation.

"This man knows where Tris is, but apparently he doesn't value his life so he's lying about it," I answer.

"Oh really?" Kade asks, lifting his gun to the man's temple. Of course we couldn't really shoot him without alarming the entire building. But he doesn't seem to realize that, and within seconds he blurts out, "They're in the serum room! But there's only one way inside that room, and one way out."

"No, there isn't," Lola says, then she nods at Kade who lowers his gun only to crash the hard butt of it into the man's head. There's a loud cracking sound and then the feeling of all his body weight collecting into my palm. When I let go of his throat he falls to the floor almost lifelessly and I suddenly wonder if he's dead.

"Don't do that again!" Lola barks at me, taking me by surprise. "I will need you to keep your shit together, Tobias. Understood?"

I won't deny that I lost it, but I won't pretend that I can stop myself from doing so again. I let out a frustrated breath and give her a half-assed nod.

She rolls her eyes at me, the same way Tris does when I do something she doesn't like. Then she says, "We'll need to split up if we're gonna take the serum room. There are two entrances, but only one will be heavily guarded. The other is for Jeanine's use only. Tobias, you're coming with me." She turns to look at the others. "Kade, take the others through the main entrance."

"Lola-"

"Don't argue with me," she says to Kade. "You'll need the numbers. She'll have that door properly manned. Tobias and I will get in through Jeanine's private entrance. Almost no one knows it's there."

Kade nods, though unwillingly, and he leads the others in the opposite direction.

"No more antics," Lola says to me quietly before walking ahead of me. I say nothing. I can't really promise to stay calm given the circumstances. I am entirely on edge and I will be until Tris is safe.

Dodging as many people as we can, Lola leads me through a series of small corridors until we arrive at a small metal door. There's a blue keypad on the right, and I'm about to ask how we'll get in when Lola types in the numbers 5683. The door buzzes open and I wonder what significance those numbers have for Jeanine.

We walk inside without making a sound. Even so, Lola presses her finger over her lips urging me to keep quiet. I had expected Jeanine to be in this very room, but to my surprise, she's on the other side of the glass, and so is Tris. An unhealthy mixture of joy and pain flood my insides as I finally lay eyes on the woman I love strapped to a metal table. She looks weak and tired.

"We can see them but they can't see us," Lola explains quietly when she catches me staring at Tris. "Jeanine had this room constructed so she could observe her experiments without them knowing she was watching."

"Her experiments?" I raise an eyebrow. "You mean people? Like Tris."

Lola sighs and her face softens. "To Jeanine they're not... people." She looks at me intently for a second. "Are you sure you want to be here, Tobias? We can't do anything but watch until the others come through the other side of that door."

I swallow hard, unsure I can just leave Jeanine to torture my wife while I watch helplessly from behind glass. But entirely sure I can't turn my back on her, I say, "Yes."

Hearing my answer, Lola then walks up to a small control board on the right. She turns one of the knobs and sound begins to fill the room. When I hear Tris' voice speak softly from the other side of the glass, I walk as close to it as I can, daring to hope that maybe my presence could somehow make this easier for her.

Lola stares at the vial resting on one of the tables in the room. "They're using truth serum," she points out. "I'd recognize that vial anywhere."

"And what about _you?_ Do you love Tobias?" Jeanine's voice echoes in my ears. Before now I've only heard her speak once, and after today I don't think I could ever forget it. Her question catches me so much by surprise that I have to take a step back. Of all the information Jeanine could be getting out of Tris, _this_ is what she decides to ask? I don't understand.

Tris struggles the way _I_ remember having struggled with truth serum, and I hate that she's going through this. Now more than ever, I want nothing but to get her out of here. But I lock my fists at my side, knowing that if I think about it too hard, I will break this glass and stretch my hand out until it's grabbed Jeanine by her throat. And Lola is right; rescuing Tris from this place means I cannot be impulsive.

I begin to breathe heavily as Tris trembles and clutches at the sides of the table. And then smoothly out of her lips comes the last thing I ever expected to hear.

"No. I don't."

I freeze in place. Even my heart stops, crippled by her answer. Lola doesn't look at me, in fact she doesn't seem at all surprised by Tris' response.

"What?" I manage to whisper using the little bit of breath I could summon.

"So why did you stay with him after your faction's demise?" Jeanine continues to question.

I almost turn around and leave the room, not needing to hear more of this, not caring who figures out I don't belong here and puts a bullet in my head. But some stupid part of me that hopes I heard wrong keeps me locked in place.

"Because he was the only surviving councillor," Tris answers. "Abnegation would have ensured he was taken care of, which meant food and water. I would have been safer with him than anywhere else."

And I feel my heart shatter into a million pieces. I feel my soul being torn in half.

"I'm leaving," I growl, sounding more angry than heartbroken. Here I was willing to do _anything_ to save a woman who just confessed under truth serum that she doesn't care about me at all! None of it makes any sense, especially after everything Tris and I have been through, but I guess she never really stopped pretending. And even though I just heard it for myself, I can't seem to swallow it without feeling like I'm about to die. "I don't need to stay here and watch this." I swing around and start heading for the door.

"Tobias, wait!" Lola urges me, grabbing me by the elbow. "You don't understand!"

"You knew about this?!"

She shakes her head at me. "It's not what you think."

Before I can ask her what the hell she's talking about, I see the others storming through the main entrance. Kade and Uriah come through first, taking fire on almost everyone in the room. When the place is filled with smoke, I remember this is where I'm supposed to go in and grab Tris.

"Tobias we need to go!" Lola charges through the glass door, taking fire on Jeanine and her team of scientists who tried to find safety behind it. Two of them fall to the floor in a pool of their own blood, but Jeanine and one of the older men run back the way they came, then disappear behind a door that blends in so well with the wall that you couldn't possibly see it unless you knew it was there.

Still standing there, I look through the glass. Behind the smoke and gunfire I see my frightened wife unstrapping herself from the table. I feel weak and hurt, I feel like nothing in my life makes sense anymore, but I can't deny the fact that she is still the most important person in the world to me. She might not love me but I love her, and I won't let her die here.

As Lola tries to pry open the secret door, I make my way toward Tris through the smoke. She's about to jump off the table when she sees me standing there just staring at her.

"Tobias?" she says raspily. Her eyes open wide and in no time I'm by her side, taking her fragile body into my arms. She looks pale, and her skin is cold and sweating. I touch her face and my fingertips come away wet with tears, but I don't wipe them off.

I lean over and press my face to hers. "You're safe now," I whisper shakily, right against her cheek. "I got you."

"You're real?" she asks weakly, her voice coming out in a whisper.

"Of course I'm real," I answer, not understanding what she means, but I decide it doesn't matter when she smiles and presses her face into my chest. I've missed her too much.

With my arms wrapped tight around her waist, I begin to lead Tris out of the room. Because of the smoke we can't see much except for the traitor Dauntless whose bodies we step over on our way toward the door.

"Four," I hear Shauna say. "What do we do with this one?" She growls as she walks toward me, pulling an Erudite woman along with her. Only when she lifts her eyes, I realize it's _not_ an Erudite woman.

"Tobias!" Emily cries out to me for some ungodly reason. She fumbles constantly as she struggles to keep pace with Shauna who is dragging her by the hair.

When Shauna throws her on the ground in front of me, my first reaction is to hold my gun to her head. I feel Tris stiffen at my side. That's when Susan rushes over.

"I surrender!" Emily cries, sending both her trembling hands up in the air. "Please don't kill me, Tobias!"

Her tears soften me none. In fact they infuriate me further. "I don't even know what to say to you," I say through my teeth. "I can't even imagine what your father would say if he were here to see what you decided to become a part of."

Emily hardens her face and takes her bottom lip between her teeth. She looks me dead in the eye. "Don't speak about my father."

"Why not?" I seethe. "He's the only reason I won't blow a bullet through your head today. But I swear to you, if you touch my wife again, I _will_." I press the barrel of the gun to her head, directly between her eyes. "I don't ever want to see you again."

"We have to bring her with us," Tris says softly. "She knows too much."

Susan nods. "She might be able tell us more about what Jeanine was doing here."

Emily shoots a death-glare in Susan's direction. "I'm not telling you anything! And I'm not going back to Dauntless if you drag me!"

"Wanna bet?" Susan asks before nonchalantly pointing her gun at Emily's right foot and pulling the trigger. I feel Tris jump at the sound of the gunshot.

Emily screams out as she crouches over, grabbing her bleeding foot between her hands. "You shot me!"

"You deserve worse," Susan answers. "As it is I feel like ripping those stupid blue clothes off of you."

"Great," Shauna sighs as she completely removes Emily's shoe to inspect her foot. "Now someone has to carry her."

"We need to get out of here, guys!" Zeke yells as he and Uriah run toward us. With the smoke clearing from the air, I notice that both of them are covered in blood. "There's more guards coming and we're dead if they catch up to us."

"Where's Jeanine?" Shauna asks.

"She escaped," Lola answers as she quickly makes her way to us. "We'll take Tris and go. We'll have to come back for Jeanine… somehow."

I nod in agreement. Getting Tris out of this place is more than enough for me. I wrap her hand in one of mine and touch her hair with the other.

"Are you ok?" Lola asks her, looking incredibly worried.

Tris nods and says, "I am. Thank you."

"Then let's move," Lola says to us all, and we quickly make our way back the way we came.

All the way through the tunnels I can feel Tris trying to tuck herself closer and closer to me. God knows I want her there, I just don't know what to make of it and it makes me feel painfully conflicted. She confessed to not caring about me but she isn't behaving that way at all. It makes it harder for me to continue denying the truth to myself- It's all just an act. She's with me because she knows at the end of the day that is where she is safest.

By the time we arrive back at the truck, her touch is too painful for me and I have to let her go. Not saying a word to her, I put her to sit between Susan and Shauna, and I go to stand at the opposite end of the truck. She's far too weak to stand and follow me so I at least have the ride home to figure out what the hell I'm going to do.

* * *

The ride is bumpy but relatively quiet; we arrive back at Dauntless in no time with Zeke driving. The others are jumping out of the back when Emily says, "You heard what she said, didn't you?"

"Shut up or I'll shoot you in the mouth next time," Susan threatens her before looking at me questioningly. She grabs Emily by the arm and pulls her toward the back of the truck then almost throws her out. I can only assume Susan didn't hear the latter part of Tris' interrogation and I suddenly wonder who did. I certainly wish _I_ hadn't.

Slowly, Tris stands to her feet and makes her way over to me. I cringe away from her, knowing her touch would be all it took for me to break down. When she reaches for my hand I pull it away.

"Tobias?" she whispers, and for a while I just stand there staring at the rusted metal of the trucks cargo bay. "Tobias!"

"You can cut the act!" I snap at her when I finally turn around, feeling more heartbroken than anything else. "I heard your interrogation, Beatrice."

She flinches when I call her by her name. I don't like the sound of it either. It reminds me of a different time when we were enemies in this marriage. Maybe we always were and I just didn't know.

She scoffs at me. "You can't hear one part of an interrogation and think you understand everything, Tobias!"

"What's there to understand, Tris?! What else could you have possibly said that would change the way I feel right now?!"

"I told Jeanine you didn't love me either, and that you wouldn't come looking for me," she says strongly. "We both know that's a lie."

I shake my head at her. "Have you forgotten that I've been under truth serum? Or do you think _I've_ forgotten? You can't lie when you're under Tris!" I remember how easily the truth slid out of my mouth when I was under, how easily I confessed that hurting her was my greatest regret.

"Well obviously you can because I just did!" she yells. "Nothing you heard was true!"

"Why am I supposed to believe that?" I whisper more to myself than I do to her.

"Because it's me," she says with a whimper, pain in her voice and her eyes drowning in tears. "Because I love you and you know that. Tobias, I fought the serum for _you_ and I lied." Her eyes are pleading and once upon a time I would have believed them, but I don't know what's real anymore.

"Tris, don't… don't play games with me," I say, almost choking over my words.

"I'm not, Tobias!" she cries. "I fought the serum because I wasn't willing to give up the information Jeanine was trying to pry out of me. And then I had to come up with a plausible reason for all my answers so she wouldn't figure out I was lying!"

I shake my head, more out of hurt and confusion than disbelief. I want to believe her more than anything else in this world; the pain that takes hold of me at the thought that she never loved me is too great. "I don't know what to think right now," I say softly, then I turn around as if I could walk away from her.

"You promised me you would trust me more," she says. Her voice is a pained whisper that makes the hair on my arms stand up. "Tobias, I'm asking you to trust me, to believe me."

When I turn to look at her I can't help but see my Tris. _My_ Tris. I see the pain in her eyes and all I want to do is make it go away. What if she's telling the truth? What if this will turn out to be just like those other times when she asked me to trust her and I didn't? But what if the love we shared was really all just in my head? The thought cripples me.

When I just stand there dumbstruck, her tears become thicker until it all consumes her and she crumbles to pieces on the floor. "Tris!" I cry out, running to catch her. I barely do.

"Tobias, please don't do this," she cries to me. "Not now. I need you."

She grabs onto the skin of my back as I hold her, her fingernails piercing through my shirt as she sobs into my chest. As confused as I am, seeing her in this much pain hurts so much and all I can do is hold her tighter and say, "It's ok, Love. I'm here. I'm here." I run my hand across her hair and I pull her closer into me.

"I love you with all my heart," she whimpers, just like she did that night when we really talked about everything for the first time, after the Candor interrogations. "Knowing you'd come for me is the only reason I kept fighting. Please believe that."

The tighter she holds onto me the more she cries and the more desperate I realize she is. That's when I recall how desperate _I_ was when Kang was questioning me and I resisted certain questions for Tris' sake. I couldn't lie, but I willed myself to not answer. And Tris is so much stronger than I am, how could I ever doubt that she'd be able to use her last bit of strength to fight the serum if it meant saving me?

I suddenly feel like the world's biggest ass. She's in pain, I have no idea what Jeanine has been doing to her and right now she needs me. All I've done so far is make it worse, all because there's still a part of me that believes she really has no good reason to love me. Tris deserves so much more than that from me.

"I'm so sorry," I whimper into her hair as I hold her. "I do believe you. I do." I say the words over and over again, needing her to know that I mean them. "I'm so sorry."

I slowly rock her back and forth until she soothes a little. And we stay like that for a long while, seated on the rusted floor of the truck's trailer, wrapped in each other's arms.

"Can you take me home?" Tris asks me after a while. She looks up at me with pained eyes. "I just want to go home."

I nod slowly, knowing exactly where she wants me to take her. "Ok. Let's go home, Love."

* * *

 **A/N: I'm sure we're all glad Tris is safe! I might have shed a tear writing this chapter. Hope you guys liked it! Eternal thanks to my lovely Beta reader Bamberlee who never tires of fixing my mistakes lol**


	54. Unbreakable Passion Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

 **TRIS**

How ironic it is that I wanted to return to the place I once had to run away from to escape my nightmares; the place I hated then loved then hated all over again. But I needed to be here. I needed to come back to the last place where I felt entirely whole, before my life became a never ending nightmare. I needed to forget the war, Jeanine, even Dauntless and everything that has happened since then. So as I lie in the first bed Tobias and I ever shared, I pretend the past few weeks haven't happened and today is just a regular day that I wake up beside my husband in our small Abnegation house.

Tobias lies still though I'm sure he's been awake for a while. Even in my sleep I could feel his hand rub gently against my back throughout most of the night. We haven't said much to each other since that dreaded fight in the back of the truck yesterday, but Tobias didn't hesitate to bring me here. I think he understood how much I needed to get away from it all. Besides, this is probably the last place anyone would ever expect to find us.

The truth is, I don't know what to say to him. I was hurt that he didn't believe me at first when I told him I had fought the serum- I think I still am. But I'm trying to convince myself that him having been unable to do the same justifies him being reluctant to believe me. I'm having a hard time swallowing that considering everything we've been through together, everything we've confessed to each other. How could he ever believe I don't love him? But I suppose I'm just as guilty of harbouring doubt somewhere deep inside me. Me having been jealous of Emily is proof of that, as right as I was.

"I hadn't realized how much I miss this place," Tobias finally whispers beside me. His right hand is wrapped tightly around my waist. "I used to tire of boring meetings and grey walls and now… I wish I was in the City Hall listening to my father be a hypocrite." He sighs and I feel his warm breath against my hair.

"Life was simpler then. We didn't know how much worse things could be," I say to him, and I immediately feel like I've made the oversimplification of the century.

He nods. "We probably still don't know," he whispers to himself, then he passes his hand against my hair. "How are you feeling?"

I swallow nervously for some reason. "Better," I say, but it comes out sounding more like a question.

My husband presses a soft kiss to my forehead; his lips linger there for a while. "I don't want to, but I have to go to Dauntless soon," he says. "I called a meeting with the others."

I bite my bottom lip. I expected as much. "Because Jeanine won't be pleased you took me," I finish for him. His eyes shy away from me and he says nothing. He knew what would happen if he rescued me. "I'm coming with you."

The strength returns to Tobias' eyes and he nods a nod that brooks no argument. "You go where I go, Tris. I'm never leaving you alone again. Ever." As if I would have given him a choice.

* * *

"Is that all it says?" Shauna grabs the piece of paper out of Zeke's hand. "' _You will return her to me'_? The hell we will! Tris barely made it out of that place alive!" Shauna snarls in frustration and kicks at the floor.

Jeanine left another note for us outside of Dauntless. This time Lola was the one to find it on her way in. I don't know why I expected Jeanine to lay low for at least a few days. She must really be desperate for what's inside my head. I get goose bumps just thinking about how far she'd go to obtain it.

"I do believe that was the point," Lynn says grimly from across the room. She stands with her back to the wall and her arms crossed in front of her chest. The shaved side of her head has begun to grow out and the short hair wrapping around her face make her look far less scary- I'd even say she looks pretty. I suppose that's why she shaved it in the first place. "Or did you really think Jeanine was planning to give Tris back when she was done with her?"

"I don't give a damn what Jeanine wants. She's not getting anywhere near my wife!" Tobias growls at Lynn who then holds both hands up in the air.

"I'm simply pointing out the obvious here. And _obviously_ ," she stresses, "if we don't send Tris back, Jeanine will come for her."

But of course this only feeds Tobias' anger. He slams his hand hard against the table and says, "Which is exactly why I don't see why we need to be merciful. I say we attack her first. Together we have the numbers. We march in there and rid the city of those Dauntless-Erudite bastard children."

I squirm a little. I don't recognize this Tobias. He's far more livid than I've ever seen him. I never really stopped to think about how much my abduction would affect him, only that I was certain he would come for me. Seeing him this way terrifies me a little, especially considering he doesn't know the half of what Jeanine did to me. I imagine he'd be on his way to kill her right now if he did.

"Those Dauntless-Erudite bastard children are our friends and family!" Uriah butts in angrily. "I want to take them down just as badly as you do, Four, but we can't just march in there and start shooting everyone."

"Fine," Tobias sighs in frustration. "We go directly for Jeanine then."

"You do remember we've been given specific orders to not kill her," Tori adds as she barges into the room half an hour after the meeting has started. She walks over to Shauna, takes the note from her hand and takes far too long reading it.

"She's too dangerous," Tobias answers, keeping his eyes locked on Tori as she continues to stare at the note. "You and I both know keeping her in a cell isn't going to stop her- assuming we apprehend her, of course."

"I don't understand why the initial plan won't work," Zeke says from across the room. "Why can't we sneak in again and manually deactivate the chips like we said we would? That way she can't activate her army and we'll have a far better chance at catching her."

"Jeanine's already figured out how we got in," Lola answers softly. "We can't use that path again." Kade stands quietly to her left with his hands stuffed inside his pockets. They're both still dressed in full black. If I didn't know any better I'd say they were wearing the same clothes from yesterday.

"Aren't there any others?" Christina asks. "I'm sure there's more than one way to sneak into Erudite."

"Jeanine is many things, Christina. An idiot is not one of them," Lola says calmly. "She's got every crack and crevice covered by now. If we want to get inside Erudite again, we're gonna have to fight our way in. We won't be able to get anywhere near her without taking out a ton of people first."

"And we simply cannot do that," Theodore, one of the Abnegation, chips in. "Those guards will die for her, and so will countless others."

Caleb is quick to agree, and he takes a stance beside Theodore. "And many of them are innocent in all this."

"Innocent?!" Tobias blurts out in a fury. "Every last one of them _chose_ to follow Jeanine. When the simulation was over, even the Dauntless had a choice, and half of them chose wrong."

I shiver. Although he's not wrong, I'm a bit uncomfortable with how quickly he's accepted that the only way to end this is through more violence. Something tells me he's given this plenty of thought.

Theodore shakes his head. "Tobias… This is not our way."

"Well our way is the reason why half of our faction is dead," Tobias rebuts.

"This is not what your father would have done," Caleb stupidly adds, and I quickly take a step closer to Tobias, knowing full well he's about to lose it and might possibly strangle my brother. I don't know how Caleb can be so stupid for someone so smart.

" _Not what my father would have done?!_ " Tobias bellows.

I grab his arm when he takes a step toward Caleb. "Shut up, Caleb," I say insistently. "You don't know what the hell you're talking about." Although Tobias had confessed what Marcus had done when Jack Kang interrogated him, it looks as though none of the Abnegation were made aware. I suppose the Dauntless present that day decided to keep that to themselves.

"Oh, he's right," Tobias says with a scoff. "This is not what my father would have done. My father would have done much worse. He would have sacrificed _all_ of you if it meant saving his own ass. At least that's what he was trying to do when Jeanine double crossed him and killed him in the process!"

Both Theodore and Caleb gasp. "That can't be true," Theodore says in disbelief.

"It is," I answer before Tobias can. "But that doesn't justify what you're proposing, Tobias."

His head spins around and in less than a second his body follows suit. Tobias slowly shakes his head, and his eyes beg me to side with him. "No, Tris," he says to me softly. "She will not get away with what she did to you. This needs to end _now_."

And suddenly I understand why he's like this. He's too emotionally invested and it's making him irrational. More than being a terrible leader or turning out like his father, Tobias is afraid of losing _me_. He's afraid I'll die at the hands of Jeanine if he doesn't act quickly enough. I'm afraid too, but I'm trying to not let it blind me.

"Tobias, this shouldn't be about me, nor should it be about you," I say to him softly, so only he can hear me. Slowly I reach for his hand and I squeeze it, both for his comfort and mine. The tension in the room is putting me on edge; the serums aren't completely out of my system and every once in a while I feel myself shudder from deep- seated, lingering fear. It doesn't help that I've come to hate this room where we always come to talk and plan and yet never seem to get anywhere. "I know you're upset. But this…"

"Upset? No, Tris. I'm not upset. I'm infuriated," he says through his teeth. He leans closer to me and as I stare into his pained blue eyes I want to take him into my arms. "And you should be too."

"I am. I'm also asking you not to do this," I say sternly when I realize he won't back down. "I'm the one who suffered. Not you."

Tobias' eyes square in on mine and he pulls his hand away from me. "You really think I didn't suffer, Tris?" he asks in disbelief. "You have any idea what it felt like? Finding out Emily had taken you, and that Jeanine was running tests on you like a lab rat?" he scoffs. "Don't tell me I didn't suffer."

Immediately, my face tenses up and my eyes begin to water. I feel a rush of emotion, though I'm not sure which, and it entirely takes over me. "No, you didn't!" I yell at my husband, unable to contain it and not caring that every single person I know is in this room. "Not like I did! You don't know what they did to me! You weren't the one strapped to a metal table and forced to endure round after round of torture! You don't know what it was like to wake up and not know if I was really awake, or how much pain seared through my body as I lied to protect you!"

I don't realize that I'm shaking uncontrollably until I feel Tobias' body pressed up against my face, and his hands frantically rubbing up and down my arms. My lips shudder against his chest as the remnants of the serum in my blood continue to torment me. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry," he says over and again as he tries to calm me down. It barely works.

Susan rushes over and presses a hand on my shoulder. "She shouldn't be here," she says forcefully. "She's still too shaken up to be dealing with all this."

Out of nowhere, I hear Lynn laughing in the corner, and the look on Shauna's face tells me Tobias and Susan aren't the only ones who want to slap her until she stops.

"You know, it's funny how you guys always end up being the victims," Lynn says with a smirk. "And when you really look at it, who's to blame? Jeanine? Emily? Marcus?" She scoffs. "It was one of your own who betrayed you, from the very beginning, but I don't hear anyone talking about indefinitely punishing all of Abnegation. No one's even mentioned what we're gonna do with the traitor you guys brought back from Erudite."

"Emily will be given a trial at Candor," Susan answers.

Lynn laughs again, but harder this time. "I see! So _she_ deserves a trial, but the Dauntless traitors deserve to die in a massacre led by the leader of Abnegation?"

I'd be lying if I said I didn't see her point.

Lynn looks around the room, making eye contact with everyone in it and paying special attention to the Dauntless. "I don't understand how the rest of you can't see that this shithole of a situation we're in is _not_ because of traitor Dauntless. It's like you've all conveniently forgotten that it was Abnegation's own leader who gave Jeanine what she needed to start this war."

"You're not being serious," Susan interjects. "You can't blame an entire faction for the actions of _one_ person."

"I can when those actions are what led us to this point."

"You're stupid if you think Dauntless didn't play a role in all this, Lynn," Shauna says angrily to her sister.

"I know we did," Lynn rolls her eyes. "My point is that Abnegation is not blameless, and I hate that you all get to walk around here with your long faces, acting like _we're_ the cause of all your problems. We certainly weren't the ones responsible for your new leader's wife being kidnapped and delivered to Jeanine. Oh wait," she scoffs. "That was also the doing of one of your very own, right?"

"Fine. Marcus was a tyrant," Susan says. "But Emily? You think she just woke up one day and decided she didn't belong here? Are you really surprised she left after the way you treated her?! You were practically begging her to change sides!"

"Oh, so it's my fault the stiff is a traitor?" Lynn says with a cynical laugh. "We all know _that's_ not true." And then she diverts her eyes to me accusingly.

"It's no one's fault," Tobias growls at Lynn, stepping in front of me and blocking me from her line of sight. "Emily made her own choice. Everyone who chose Jeanine made their own choice!"

"Dauntless didn't have a choice when they put those damned microchips inside us and made us massacre an entire faction!" Lynn screams. "Yet we're supposed to feel guilty about it and take responsibility for having done things while having no control over ourselves. And you all walk around _our_ home like victims, but Abnegation is the reason this entire city is divided! You and your stupid, stubborn government are the reason we are at war! And why does everybody have to protect _you_?" she snarls at me. "Because you're _his_ wife? If handing you over to Jeanine will buy us time then I think that's exactly what we should do."

I gasp, suddenly feeling threatened. Lynn is one big ball of misdirected anger, and I am a symbol of her pain. I grab onto a bulk of Tobias' shirt; just the thought of going back there makes my heart sink somewhere deep into my abdomen. But although flawed, I can understand Lynn's reasoning. Maybe it _was_ a mistake to rescue me. It certainly wasn't for the greater good.

Looking at the Dauntless in the room, Lynn says, "And I think you're just as much traitors as the Dauntless who chose to follow Jeanine. Look at you standing side by side with the factionless, the people who killed off so many of us!"

As Kade is about to interject, Lola stops him. She's probably right. Lynn isn't about to listen to reason, so it's probably better she hears it from her own.

"You didn't see what I saw, Lynn! You're in no position to have an opinion about what the factionless did that day. They were trying to stop us from murdering all of Abnegation!" Uriah yells back at her.

"So they murdered _us_?! Are Abnegation lives more important than Dauntless lives? Is that it? I mean how many more of us will die protecting _her_?" Lynn points at me and I'm sure I jump just a little.

"Handing over Tris is hardly the solution, Lynn," Susan says calmly. "We are not the enemy here. _Jeanine_ is the enemy, and the only way we will win this war is if we all remember that. Amity and Candor say they stand with us, but do you see any of them here? It's just us- Dauntless, Abnegation and factionless, and by fighting amongst ourselves we're doing Jeanine's work for her. So many things have been beyond our control but we've only ever done what we had to do to survive, and it's time we forgive each other for that."

Lynn slowly shakes her head at Susan, her face twisted into a scowl. I imagine if she knew about the factionless' initial plan to take over the city, she wouldn't even be standing in the same room with them.

"My mother and little brother are gone, my best friend is gone. How am I supposed to forgive you for that?!" For the first time ever, I see Lynn looking entirely broken.

Susan remains as calm as ever, but with tears in her eyes she says, "The same way I forgave you for killing my brother."

My eyes open wide as they glance back and forth between the both of them, watching as Lynn's face slowly fades from anger to confusion to horror. After everyone's finally processed what's been said, the room becomes so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

"What?" Lynn asks softly and her voice cracks.

Susan takes a step away from everyone, and when she can't find the strength to answer, Uriah rushes to her side. His footsteps seem so loud in the still room.

"It's true, Lynn," Uriah says as he takes Susan into his arms. "I saw when it happened. If I hadn't been there to stop you, you would have killed Susan too." I remember when Uriah had told me he didn't know how Susan was ever able to forgive Lynn, though he refused to tell me why. I know without a doubt this is the secret they were keeping between them. Lynn murdered Robert while she was under simulation.

Lynn gasps and her body is frozen in horror. I'm sure all the Dauntless knew they had taken at least one life, but I guess standing face to face with what you've done is much harder than simply knowing it. I stare at a tearful Susan with admiration; I don't think I could ever bear knowing which one of them shot my mother. I don't think I'd be able to share a room with that person without beating them into the floor or sending a bullet after their head.

"How could you just forgive her for that?" Caleb asks, throwing his arms at Susan. "She killed Robert?!"

I scoff loudly. Robert was his best friend, but even so, Caleb is truly the last person in the room to be withholding forgiveness from anyone for anything.

"Really? After everything _you've_ done?" I scowl at him. His eyes open wide when he looks at me. "I know what you did, Caleb. I know you helped Jeanine make the attack serum… and you knew _exactly_ what you were doing."

Susan gasps, and I'm sure she'd walk across the room and hit him in the face if Uriah weren't holding her in place. "You hypocrite!" she yells after him. "You don't deserve to wear those colours!"

I tense up, expecting my brother to defend himself, but surprisingly he doesn't. He simply turns around and walks through the door with an undeniable look of shame on his face. He _should_ be ashamed. He's always been the first to criticize everyone, especially Tobias. And he's the only one who refuses to wear anything else but grey. Maybe now that everyone knows what he did, he'll think before he speaks next time. I never intended to divulge that information in front of everyone, but just now I felt I had to.

"Oh my god," Will whispers from the corner, staring at my brother as he walks through the door.

The room is too quiet after Caleb leaves. Even Lynn is still standing on the side-lines looking terrified, unable to look anyone in the eye. I decide to leave, since obviously nothing will become of this meeting, because I won't let Tobias storm into Erudite like a mad man aimlessly killing people.

Maybe Lynn was right about one thing; maybe I _should_ go back. There's no reason everyone should have to fight over something like this, especially since Jeanine will never get what she wants out of me. I'd die before I reveal anything to her.

"Tris," Tobias calls after me as I leave. I don't turn around.

"I just need a minute," I answer softly, but I think he hears me because he doesn't follow.

I walk through the Dauntless corridors aimlessly when I remember I don't live here anymore, and somehow I come across my brother. His back is turned to me but I can see him wiping his eyes. I don't approach him, but it's like he senses me there and he quickly turns around.

"Tris…," he says, his eyes are red. He awkwardly presses his hand into the wall and then quickly puts it back down. "Can we talk?"

"You lied to me," I say darkly. "You said you didn't know what Jeanine was planning to do with the serum she had you working on. She told me you did."

Caleb hangs his head and I want to throw something at him.

"I found out a few weeks before," he confesses and his voice breaks. "I thought it was the right thing to do. Jeanine has a way of getting in your head and making you see things her way."

A sick laugh escapes my lips before I can help myself. "Well as hard as she tried she couldn't get in _my_ head, Caleb. And believe me, she tried pretty damn hard." Tears flood my brother's eyes, but I don't feel sorry for him at all. "You could have stopped all of this from happening. You could have stopped our parents from dying!"

"You don't think I know that?!" Caleb cries out. "I left Erudite and I ran back home, but it was too late! Everything was already destroyed… Mom and Dad were dead… and I found you in the shelter." He sniffles and turns his head away from me.

I scoff. "You had more than enough time, Caleb. You said it yourself- you knew for weeks."

A tear rolls down his cheek. "And that will haunt me for the rest of my life. But I'd like to think what matters is that I still tried… and that I came home."

"So why didn't you tell me the truth _then_? In the shelter?" I ask, although I'm almost certain his answer will upset me.

"I was ashamed of what I had done… and that I took so long to realize it was wrong." He frowns. "I didn't want you to hate me."

"You're my brother. You should have known better. Besides, how do you think I feel _now_?" I say to him.

"Please don't say that," Caleb says, and more tears build up in his eyes. They don't move me. Not too long ago, when I went through my fear landscape, I crumbled to the floor when I lost the two most important people in my life- my husband and my brother, my only family. But honestly, for a while now I've felt like I have no brother.

"Why shouldn't I? What have you done recently to even make me consider _liking_ you? If it weren't for Tobias I don't know how I would have made it through all this."

"That's another reason why I didn't tell you the truth. I knew you'd tell Tobias," Caleb says with a shrug. "I was afraid he'd tell the rest of Abnegation or he'd have me sent back to Erudite."

"As if you didn't give him enough reason!" I say emphatically. "You've been nothing but a tyrant to him ever since you've been back. And don't for a second think I've forgotten all the horrible things you said to me."

"I only said those things because I was afraid I was losing you to him… to Dauntless… and that he'd take you away from me. You were changing and I…" Caleb throws his hands up in the air. "I wasn't ready to give you up… to anybody."

"You're an idiot," I say harshly. "And a child. No one was taking me away from you, Caleb. You're the one who keeps pushing me away."

"I don't mean to. You're the only family I have left, Beatrice," he says.

"Whose fault is that?" I say accusingly. It's a cruel thing to say but not at all false. "And how can you say that to me when you didn't even bother to try and rescue me when the others came to you?" I scowl at him.

My brother's eyes open wide. "Please try to understand," he begs me. "I can't go back there. Jeanine would kill me if I ever set foot in Erudite again. That's the only reason I didn't go," he explains. I just figured he was a coward. Tobias did mention my brother had all of sixteen fears.

"That's not good enough, Caleb." With tears in my eyes, I shake my head at him. "People I've only known for a few weeks were so willing to risk their lives for me. And my own big brother didn't have the heart."

I remember once Uriah confessed to me that the only thing that got him through it all was the fact that he had his brother, the one person he could always count on. I can't relate. Lately I've found myself surviving despite my brother and not because of him. I still haven't told Caleb I'm Divergent though there's no real reason to hide it from anyone anymore.

Realizing there's nothing to be gained here, and needing yet again to be somewhere else, I turn around and leave him standing there. "I'm going home. I still have one, no thanks to you."

* * *

 **A/N: Sorry for the late post guys! Was a real busy day yesterday. Hope you guys liked this chapter! Many thanks to Bamberlee who continues to be amazing! :) And to all of you for still supporting this story!**


	55. Unbreakable Passion Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

 **TRIS**

Abnegation has always been a quiet place, so quiet it would get on my last nerve. I remember as a child wanting to scream out loud just to hear how it would sound. Then I'd look at my mother, she'd smile at me, and for her sake alone I'd keep quiet, secretly loathing the silence.

But this silence is so much worse than that one, I'd do anything to trade them. I walk mindlessly through what used to be my neighbourhood, and just like Tobias, I long for things I once hated. I long for meaningless smiles, people peeping through the window thinking you couldn't see them. So many things were wrong with Abnegation, but we didn't deserve this. We didn't deserve to be annihilated.

Everyone is just gone. I wonder if this is how Shauna felt walking through The Pit after it had been abandoned.

Rain has washed away most of the blood off the concrete, but you can still find evidence of the attack if you look hard enough. The occasional shell casing here and there, a few front doors kicked off the hinges. I try not to notice but I do.

When I arrive at the front door of my home, I walk through it as if I had never left here. So many things have changed but I'm at least glad our home is intact. I make my way into the kitchen and run my fingers along the edge of the sink, the cupboard, the counter where Tobias first kissed me. It's wishful thinking but I want that life back. I want those moments back.

I walk upstairs to the bedroom, needing to sink myself into the mattress. Where do you go when you need to escape your own life? Your own dreams?

"Tris!"

I'm startled out of my thoughts, but I don't get up. Tobias' quick footsteps slam against the stairs as he rushes to the bedroom frantically yelling my name.

"Tris! Tris are you here?" He flings the door open, his dark blue eyes wide with panic.

"Yeah," I answer so softly I'm sure he doesn't hear me. Not like it matters; he can see me sitting on the bed.

Tobias rushes in front of me and takes my face between his palms. "Tris, you can't do that!" he urges. "I thought-" He lets go of my face and runs his hand through his hair. "You can't just walk off on your own." He sounds frustrated, but not angry.

"I'm sorry," I say quietly. "I wasn't thinking. After I spoke to Caleb I just…" I shake my head. "And then I started feeling sick."

I feel nauseous, like I've eaten something sour. And there's a constant throbbing in my head. Lola did tell me I might feel strange for a few days as the serums clear from my system. Sort of like withdrawal, I suppose. It's not a typical reaction, but given the cocktail of serums Jeanine gave me, Lola knew to expect it.

Tobias takes a seat beside me and wraps his arm around my waist. I take a deep breath and I feel consoled by the scent of him. "Are you ok?" he asks me, studying my face. His eyes are wide with concern.

"It's just the serums," I shrug. "I think I still have a bit of something in me." I can feel it flowing through me, triggering my nerves. As if the mental and physical exhaustion of being tortured weren't enough.

"Susan was right," Tobias says, passing his hand against my hair. "You should be resting. I shouldn't have taken you there today. You didn't need to hear all of that."

"I think I did though." I frown.

"What do you mean?" he asks, pinching his eyebrows together.

"Lynn isn't entirely wrong, you know."

"You can't be serious," Tobias says flatly. "Lynn is out of her mind."

She might be, but no one is ever entirely wrong or right. There's always a bit of sense in even the worst nonsense. Lynn might have been wrong about a lot of things, but when it came to me she was spot on. Why am I any more important than anyone else? Why should the fact that I was kidnapped be reason for endangering so many lives? And why is Tobias so ready to do whatever it takes, when not so long ago he wasn't even sure he wanted to subject our people to Dauntless training?

"You knew this would happen, didn't you?" I turn to look at my husband.

"What are you talking about?"

"You knew you wouldn't be able to use Lola's secret passage twice and instead of carrying out the plan like you were supposed to, you used our one and only shot to get inside Erudite to save me."

With confusion written all over his face, he says, "Tris… you didn't really expect me to leave you there to die, did you?"

My face sinks and I feel like a hypocrite. "No."

"Then why are we even talking about this?"

"Because it doesn't change the fact that maybe you were wrong to come get me," I admit softly. "Because now look at where we are. You're talking about slaying Erudite and everyone in it. That wasn't the plan."

"Jeanine left us with no choice, Tris," Tobias says sternly. "That's the price they pay for having taken you."

"Tobias, listen to yourself," I urge him. "You're making this decision as though no one else but me is counting on you. You're _everyone's_ leader, or have you forgotten that?"

"Tris, I didn't want this! I never wanted this and you know that!" Tobias yells, and he suddenly stands to his feet in front of me.

"I know you didn't! But that doesn't change the fact that you were at least trying! And you always did what you thought was best for everyone," I remind him. "Not just me."

"Things have changed," he says as he falls to his knees and takes my hand in his. " _You're_ my priority." And even if he had never said the words, I could see it in his eyes. Tobias would sacrifice anything if it meant saving me, but I can't let him do that. _I'm_ the one Jeanine wants. I can end this all on my own. I can go back, and when I get close enough, I can end her.

Not letting go of my hands, Tobias gets up off his knees and returns to sit beside me on the bed. When I don't look at him, he gently takes my chin and tugs it toward him. Twisting his head to the side he says, "I know what you're thinking, Tris. I'm not gonna let you do it."

All of a sudden, my eyes feel heavy and my vision blurs as it's overrun by tears. "I'm just one person, Tobias," I say to him. "I'm not worth it."

"You _are_ worth it to me," he answers firmly. "I let you down once and I won't make that same mistake again. I'd go to Erudite myself before I ever let Jeanine take you again."

I shake my head. "Tobias, it wasn't your fault I was taken," I say, emphasizing each word.

"Wasn't it?" he asks. "I'm the one who allowed Emily to become what she became. I promised I wouldn't let anyone hurt you and I failed!"

Trying to convince him otherwise might be futile, especially since I told him on several occasions that he had multiple opportunities to put Emily in her place. But although that might be true, Tobias has always doubted himself even when he's had no reason to. Wrapping my arms around his waist and pressing my face into his chest, I say, "Well, I don't blame you."

"And I don't deserve you," he whispers. "I never have."

I instantly sit up and I don't resist the urge to roll my eyes at him. "Why would you say that?"

"Tris, you're so strong," he answers. "You've always been. And you're always ahead of the game while I'm the one who never knows what or who or how. Sometimes I'm afraid you'll wake up and realize you don't need me the way I need you." His face sinks and I realize I've never gotten so deep a confession out of my husband before. And it came so easily, almost as if he said it without thinking about it first.

"Is that why you were so quick to believe what you heard me say under truth serum?" I ask him.

He sighs. That's his only answer.

"Tobias, what have I ever done to make you doubt how I feel about you?" I ask him sincerely. "Do you really think I would tattoo it on me if I didn't really mean it?"

With the conversation suddenly having taken an unexpected turn, Tobias becomes uncomfortable, shifting his body beside me until he ultimately decides to stand again. He walks over to the window though I don't know what for. There's nothing to look at anymore except for the rubble that sits where City Hall used to.

Slowly, I make my way over to him, my presence demanding an answer.

"It's not you," he says as he looks through the window. "You know that." When I lace our fingers together he adds, "Everybody I thought I could trust has let me down in one way or another. My mother didn't mean to die but she did. Kade didn't mean to abandon or deceive me but he did. And Marcus…" he swallows. "I really don't know _what_ he was trying to do, but he did a horrible job either way." Tobias turns to look at me and gently rubs his knuckles against my cheek. "So to hear you say what you did... I guess it reminded me of all that. I was scared, so scared that the person I love most in this world, the _only_ person I love in this world, would hurt me too."

A tear escapes me, rolling down my cheek without permission as my heart aches for my husband. I don't think he'll ever be used to it, someone loving him unconditionally. But he will have to try, because I will never stop loving him.

Letting go of his hand, I slowly creep my arms around his waist and I hold him against me. I look up at him, and pushing up off my toes I press a tender kiss to his lips. "I love you," I say. "I love you so much that every single time Jeanine tried to push me over the edge, you brought me back. Her serums were strong, but my love for you was always stronger and it always gave me the will I needed to fight. Getting back to you was the only thing that kept me going. I just knew that I couldn't give you up, and as selfish as it was, I knew you'd come for me. Because I know you love me."

"I do," he answers fervently. "And I'll always find my way to you, Tris. Always. No matter where you are." Tobias presses his forehead against mine until our noses touch.

"I know," I whisper. "And I need you to know that I love you too, more than anything else in the world." I shake my head a little as another tear slowly creeps down my cheek. "I remember when I used to feel so alone, like there was no one else like me, like there was no one who could accept me or love me. I thought I'd always be alone. It was either that or be unhappy trying to live a life I knew all too well I didn't want to live." I smile up at him and say, "But then there was _you_. You saw who I was, you accepted me and you loved me flaws and all. You were different just like me and I felt understood for the first time in my life, and I know without a doubt there's no one else who could complete my life the way you do." My voice breaks and my knees begin to fold; Tobias' arms around me is the only thing that keeps me from falling.

"Oh, Tris," Tobias cries just as his lips crash into mine. His right hand clasps at the back of my neck, pulling me in for a deeper kiss. His other hand grabs at my hips, leading me backward until the back of my knees hit the bed. Quickly but carefully, and not for a second letting go of my lips, Tobias eases me onto the bed. I sink into it when the weight of his body presses down on me.

"Ah," I softly groan as his lips trail down my neck and by my ear, and I shiver with want as his tongue caresses my skin. My hands roam his sweet, firm body, grabbing at the skin under his shirt. My legs open for him, wrapping themselves around him and pulling him so close to me that I can feel his hardened length digging into me.

Breathing heavily, Tobias pulls his face away, breaking the kiss. He searches my face, looking for an answer to his unspoken question.

"I want you," I say firmly, leaving no doubt in his mind.

"I don't want to hurt you," Tobias whispers. Truthfully, I'd long forgotten the ache in my muscles and the bruises on my skin. I do feel weak but his touch makes me feel alive. I don't want him to stop.

"Then don't."

Looking into my eyes and seeing the want in them, Tobias gently picks me up off the bed. "Come," he says, and taking my hand he carefully guides me into the bathroom. He closes the door behind us though there's no one else in the house, and I stand beside the tub as he puts the water on then tests the temperature with his hand.

He stands to his feet then wraps his arms around me again. As he leans in to kiss me, his hands creep up under my shirt, tickling my skin. I giggle rudely as I close the gap between us, moulding our lips together in a fervent kiss. I only pull away when Tobias grabs at the hem of my shirt and pulls it over my head.

He stares at my exposed chest, sweetly rubbing his hand up over my breast. I moan when his fingers glide past my nipple, sending a surge of wanton need throughout my entire body.

Tobias falls to his knees, his head at my abdomen. He takes my hand in his and slowly kisses both my wrists, still bruised from the restraints. Gently he releases them, and then his hands grasp at my hip and backside as he gently sucks at the skin around my bellybutton. My back arches as his lips become hungrier and trail lower; for a second I'm afraid I'll fall backward. Greedily, he unbuttons my jeans and pulls them down my legs along with my underwear. He doesn't wait for me to step out of them before driving his tongue into my middle.

I moan loudly when the pleasure of his unexpected attack hits me full force. My legs open on their own, making way for him as he moves from in front of me to beneath me. With my hand clutching at his hair, I gasp at the ceiling, the ecstasy of his warm tongue devouring my insides driving me mad.

"Tobias," I groan his name, egging him on. He thrusts his tongue deeper, and then back and forth inside me, and just as I feel I would crumble on top of him, he rises to his feet. His fingers quickly replace his mouth, pleasuring me.

Needing to feel his skin against mine, I pull his shirt over his head and press myself up against his chest as his fingers dexterously dance around my middle, now slick and wet for him.

He removes his hand only to pick me up off my feet and carry me in his arms. Gently, he sets me into the now full tub. I turn off the water as he takes off his pants and gracelessly leaves them on the ground.

The feeling of cool water over my aching skin is incomparable, but only until Tobias climbs in on top of me. I don't feel the weight of him on me, all I feel is the warmth and sweet texture of his skin, and my bruised body is thankful for it.

Leaning down, Tobias gently kisses my forehead, then my cheeks and neck. His mouth tastes the skin of my collarbone before trailing downward to my breast, just below the tattoo that professes the eternity of my love for him. My hips buck up toward him as he sensually licks my hard, sensitive nipple, and I find myself groaning a long dragged out and sultry version of the letter O.

Impatient, my hands search for him under the water and I moan with satisfaction when I find him hard and ready for me. I guide him to my entrance, and that is all the invitation Tobias needs to thrust himself inside me, fast and hard. We both gasp as his engorged length hits my insides with a force, Tobias' face twisting in pleasure.

I grab onto him, wanting him deeper still inside me, and I moan louder as he conforms. There's no pain, no hurt, no worries about the flood we're provoking in the bathroom. Instead, there's only the soothing cool water around my body and the sweet pleasure of Tobias' thickness sliding in and out of me.

"I love you," I whisper as he leans into me, his forehead flush against mine.

"Say it again," he groans softly, not for a second losing rhythm.

"I love you, Tobias," I declare intensely as I stare into his eyes. "Always." And it's as if something wakes up inside him, fueling his passion. He thrusts harder, whispering my name as he moves in and out of me. He doesn't stop until it's been made abundantly clear that he could make love to me until the end of the world, and only when we've both had our fill of each other does he empty himself inside me. I claim every last drop, feeling high off the emotion it gives, the bond it creates. I relish the moment, having never been more certain that there is nothing in this world strong enough to tear me and Tobias apart. I am his and he is mine.

* * *

We spent most of the time making love and relaxing in the tub, and dedicated only a few short minutes to actually taking a bath. Still, I feel fresh and light, naked and wrapped in the bed sheet, lying snugly in Tobias' arms. He holds me tenderly, his hands curled around me and his feet tangled with mine.

In between gentle kisses he stares at me or rubs at my hair, and I feel like I could lie here forever. Truthfully, I want to, and I want it to be as pure as it is now. No inch of doubt or anxiety in sight.

"I don't want us to keep fighting about this," I finally say to him, the first complete sentence anyone has said since we made love. Looking confused, Tobias stares at me. "I feel like we always come back to this place where you're not sure or I'm not sure and… I don't understand why," I begin to explain. "You always tell me you love me, and I you, so why do we keep going back and forth over something we've both said a thousand times?"

With sudden recognition in his eyes, Tobias nods a little. "You're right… and it ends now," he says. "Tris, you are my world, and you always will be." Gently, he skims the skin of my cheek with his thumb.

"And you are mine," I insist. "And you won't ever forget that."

"I won't ever forget," he answers softly.

"I love you," I whisper with a soft smile, searching his eyes for the sweet glow I know will follow soon after.

"I love you too," he answers. He pulls me closer to him, and before I know it his lips are pressed against mine, soft and warm and eager. It's a short kiss, but I got the message.

"I like being here with you," I say to him softly, our lips still so close that I can feel his against mine when I speak. "Alone, where no one would ever think to look for us."

"Like a secret date?" Tobias asks with a soft chuckle.

I nod.

"We could do this more often if you'd like," he suggests. "Just get away from everybody. Just you and me."

I smile at him. "We got married, fell in love and then decide to go on a date. Kinda backwards, don't you think?"

"Well, when have we ever been good at following rules?" Tobias says with a shrug and he smiles adorably. I can't help but laugh out loud. "Maybe we could even have a honeymoon when this is all over."

"A honeymoon? What's that?" I ask with a soft chuckle.

"Apparently," he begins, "In Dauntless, after a wedding the bride and groom usually disappear for a while. Spend time together alone."

"Sounds nice," I answer with a smile, not needing to think about it. I think that's exactly what Tobias and I need. The first month of our marriage was a disaster, the second was confusing, and now the third is filled with death and chaos. We haven't had time to really just be alone and be happy together. "Maybe we can do that when this is all over."

"Yes," he says strongly, as if he'd already decided.

"Where would we go?" I ask.

He shrugs. "I don't really think it matters. As long as we're together." Tobias presses his hand to my cheek, and I turn my face into it, keeping my eyes closed. When I let out a long yawn he says, "You're tired. You should rest, Love."

I instantly shake my head, and for some reason I blurt out, "No." My entire mood changes, and when tears begin to flood my eyes, Tobias' own open wide.

"Why not?" Tobias asks me softly, concern flooding his eyes. "What's wrong, Love?"

I didn't expect to react this way, being terrified at the thought of sleep, but truthfully I'm not surprised. Jeanine's torture was a special brand of cruel that I was subjected to coincidentally right after my nightmares had stopped. And now I think I've become afraid of my subconscious; I'm afraid to dream, I'm afraid of not being able to tell if I'm dreaming.

"I'm terrified," I confess.

"Of what?" Tobias asks. "You're safe here with me, Tris. No one would think to look for us here." But external dangers aren't what frighten me. Right now I'm terrified of my own mind.

"I'm afraid I'll wake up and find out this wasn't real," I whisper, my voice breaking. "And that you were never really here." As a tear rolls down from my eyes, I whisper, "It wouldn't be the first time."

So many times Jeanine was so close to making me believe Tobias was standing right in front of me, only for me to have my heart ripped in two over and over again when I woke up inside her simulation room. I reach my hand out and touch his face; I know he's real, and I know I'm really here with him, but at the same time my heart is crippled with fear.

As Tobias wipes the tears from my eyes, he says, "I'll be right here when you wake up, Love."

"You promise?" I choke out.

"I promise," he says determinedly. He presses a gentle kiss just between my eyes. "Now close your eyes. You need to rest."

"I need _you_ ," I whisper so softly that it's a wonder he even hears me.

"And you _have_ me, Tris. Always."

* * *

 **A/N: One of the chapters I enjoyed writing the most and I hope you guys enjoyed the long overdue Four/Tris! :) I borrowed one of my favorite Insurgent Movie scenes because I simply could not resist lol Let me know what you guys thought about this chapter!**


	56. Unbreakable Passion Chapter 29

**A/N: :) Thank you guys so much for your continued support and your wonderful reviews! We've got about 5 more chapters to go, and after this week I'll be making weekly updates instead of every two weeks. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter! Some dialogue from this chapter belongs to V.R.**

* * *

 **Chapter 29**

 **TOBIAS**

Dauntless is quiet. I don't like it.

The air is too thick with emotions and confusion. There's also a horde of problems with no solution floating around in it as well. We still can't manage to come to an agreement about how to end this war and I think yesterday's meeting was our last. I've heard enough.

Last night as Tris slept, I thought about what she told me- really thought about it. And as crazy as it might sound, she was right about Lynn making just a little bit of sense. I didn't want to see it at the time, but I was thinking selfishly because I was afraid. After everything the Dauntless and factionless have done for us, how could I ask them to risk their lives just to keep _my_ wife safe? At the end of the day I have to do what's best for everyone, and it's become abundantly clear to me what that is.

I will give myself to Jeanine.

It's not a suicide mission. It's a smart one. I'm the only one who can get close enough to her without being assassinated first; she'll practically have her men escort me in the minute she finds out I've been captured. After all, _I'm_ the one she originally wanted since I'm the key to her gaining total control of the city. And the minute her guard is down, I'll capture her or kill her- whichever I deem necessary given the circumstances I'm in at that point. And if I have to kill her, so be it. Jack can put me under truth serum where I will confess that it was the only way to stop her.

I'm hoping it doesn't come to that, giving Jack Kang an opportunity to isolate us from the rest of the city. But if we don't stop her soon, we'll all be dead and we all know it. Which is why although I'm going alone, this is not a one man mission. I imagine the minute the others realize I'm gone, everyone will start to put their heads together, _really_ put their heads together instead of the useless back and forth we usually do in the meetings. And when they do come up with a plan, they won't fail to take down Jeanine even if I do.

Apart from that, me surrendering buys them some time to think since I am absolutely certain Jeanine is planning to retaliate; she knows we won't give Tris back. And with me in her possession, if she pays as much attention to me as she did to Tris, Jeanine will be too distracted to see an attack coming and she'll be too busy to hurt anyone on the outside. It's the perfect plan.

But it's a plan Tris would never agree to.

I hate to deceive her, but I feel it's the only way I can save her. And knowing my wife, if I don't do this, she will. It wouldn't take much to convince her that surrendering herself to Jeanine is the most noble thing to do. But it's not her responsibility, it's mine. And I don't want to fight with Tris about this, especially because I don't want her to think it was her fault. After all, she was the one who reminded me that I am everyone's leader. I have to do whatever it takes to save as many people as I can, and that includes even those who are against us.

So I dropped her off at Susan's so she wouldn't be alone, and so the others can keep her at bay when she realizes I'm gone. It will be difficult, but one day she'll understand it was the right thing for me to do.

I walked in silence through the corridors and out the door, and was utterly relieved that I could have left the compound without being seen.

Ten minutes after I've cleared Dauntless, I find myself walking down a road of tiny rocks instead of pavement- a shortcut to the train tracks. There are brick buildings on either side of the road. I take a deep breath and the cool air burns my lungs on the way in, and on the way out unfurls in a cloud of vapour. Winter will be here soon.

"You're not still planning on storming into Erudite like a trigger happy maniac, are you?" The sound of Zeke's deep voice startles me, and I immediately stop walking and turn around.

"Not necessarily," I answer him as he takes a few steps toward me.

He shoves his hands down his pockets. "So what _are_ you planning to do? Cause it looks to me like you're on your way to Erudite. You've got your mission face on and your wife's not with you. I'd take a guess and say she has no idea what you're up to."

I raise both arms in the air. "I'm not up to anything, Zeke. Check my pockets. No weapon."

Without changing his facial expression, Zeke leans against the brick wall and says, "You know… I remember the first time I met you. You surprised me; I think I told you that already."

"You mentioned it, yeah." I drop my arms.

He nods. "And even so, you've come a long way since then."

"How so?" I pinch my eyebrows together. I don't think I'm any different from when I first started training with them. Not where it matters anyway.

"You've had to literally live through your worst fears and here you are, willing to fight. _Wanting_ to fight," he answers.

"I'd do anything to save Tris," I answer evenly.

"I know. It's not just about Tris though. It's about your people… and your father, you wanting to be a better leader than he was."

In my fear landscape, I had to free myself from my father's memory in order to save Abnegation. So many times I've let his memory dictate what I will and won't do, how I will and won't feel. I remember how Tris told me the people you love never really die- not to you, and I think she's right. I suppose that's why my father continues to live on in my nightmares and in my fear landscape. He is gone, but yet he's not, all because I loved him despite all that he was.

"Yeah, well my father was a real asshole."

"Judging by the scars on your back, I'd say he was a _colossal_ asshole," Zeke says with a scoff. "But you're already better than him. You don't need to make stupid sacrifices to do that."

"What stupid sacrifices?" I roll my eyes.

"You want me to continue pretending that I don't know where you're going?" Zeke's eyes square in on mine. He obviously followed me when I left Dauntless, and he knows I live in the opposite direction. "What do you really think Jeanine is gonna do with you?"

She's gonna lock me in a cell and probably torture me like she did Tris. Ultimately she'll try to kill me once she's bored of me. I'll just have to kill her first.

"I'm not going to see Jeanine," I lie.

"Not to mention it's a horrible idea," Zeke ignores me. "We all know her game plan has changed. Jeanine is no longer after you. She wants Tris."

That may be true, but I won't fail to remind Jeanine why she wanted _me_ in the first place. I can convince her she doesn't need Tris at all. Sure, with Tris she can figure out how to perfect the mind control serum, but with me under her thumb, she has no need to. Imagine all this time they've been trying to protect me from Jeanine, when that has always been the only answer.

"I know she does," is all I say, neither confirming nor denying Zeke's spot on suspicion.

Zeke stands up straight and determinedly he says, "Just say the word and I'll go with you, Four. But you're not going alone."

"I'm not going anywhere, Zeke," I say with a small smile. "But thank you. It's good to know someone's got my back."

Never in my life did I ever think I would have a friend. Now I have a friend and a wife, both of whom would follow me into fire. But I can't let them do that. This is _my_ responsibility. This is how I become a better leader than my father. This is how I save Tris _and_ my people. Just as my father was so willing to sacrifice everyone to save himself, I think it's redeeming that I would be willing risk my life to save everyone.

"I'll always have your back," Zeke says strongly. "Which is why I can't let you do this." Zeke grabs my left arm, and I know there's no way he's letting me walk away. But I won't let him stop me from doing this- I can't.

The last thing I'd ever want to do is hurt my friend, but feeling like I have no choice, I react quickly. I gather my strength and take a hard swing at his head, my knuckles slamming into his temple, just like he taught me. Zeke doesn't expect it and the punch is enough to knock him out, though not for long I'm sure.

As soon as his body hits the ground I begin to move, because the second he wakes, he'll tell the others.

"I'm so sorry, Zeke," I whisper as I take a few steps backward, and then I turn around and run.

* * *

My body pumping with adrenaline, I jump off the train and the next thing I know I'm standing in front of Erudite headquarters.

Through the glass windows I can see crowds of blue-shirted people as they sit around tables, typing on computers or bent over books. It's better that I not ask myself which of them might be directly involved with Jeanine and what she's doing. I'm sure at least a few of them are decent people who do not understand what their faction has done. I suppose it's for their sake I'm here.

This is the last moment I will be able to turn back. The cold air stings my cheeks and my hands as I hesitate. But I take a step forward and then another. I can't walk away from this. I can't continue to take refuge in the Dauntless compound and do nothing about the reality my father helped create.

I slowly walk toward the building and push the doors open. Then all of a sudden I'm not sure what to do after I've stepped inside. Do I demand to see Jeanine? Or do I just stand here until someone notices me?

I'm distracted by the huge portrait of Jeanine Matthews that hangs on the opposite wall. Not even in Dauntless were there pictures of the leaders hanging around the place. "How vain can you be?" I mumble to myself, and that's when someone notices me- a middle aged man sitting at the front desk. He stops sorting through the papers in front of him and calls to me.

"Can I help you, sir?"

I suppose the fact that I'm dressed in all back has him thinking I belong here. He might not have noticed the lack of a blue band around my right arm. But as I approach him, the two Dauntless traitor guards milling around near the entryway _d_ o notice.

"My name is Tobias Eaton," I say strongly, and immediately the man's eyes open wide. He fixes his glasses and his eyes skip from my face to the black shirt I wear. In my terror, his expression seems amusing. "I believe Jeanine Matthews wanted to see me," I say.

He immediately signals to the Dauntless traitors by the door, but there is no need. The guards have finally caught on and are by my side in less than a second. Soldiers from the other parts of the room have also started forward, and they all surround me, but they don't touch or speak to me. I scan their faces, trying to look as placid as possible.

My eyes shift to the Dauntless coming out of the elevator on the left side of the room and I immediately know they're coming for me. Jeanine sure sent the entire welcoming party for me.

"We've been instructed to take you upstairs," one of the men says. They start toward the elevators, and I follow them. I look around to see whose gun is closest, but none is within reach.

We walk down a series of sleek corridors, much like the ones we walked through when we rescued Tris. The last door opens and just as I suspected, they take me right to her.

"Tobias Eaton," Jeanine says. She straightens her already straight spectacles and stares at me for a second. She wears a blue dress that hugs her body from shoulder to knee, revealing a layer of pudge around her middle. "It's an honour… Councillor."

"I'm sure it is. Wish I could say the same."

She pinches her eyebrows together. "Not that I am not overjoyed you walked into my headquarters today, Sir. But what on Earth brings you here?"

"I'm here to make a trade," I answer levelly.

"And what do you have that I could possibly want?"

I smirk. "Power."

"Funny," she chuckles. "I thought you would have said your wife, considering Beatrice told me you had no feelings for her. Which obviously is not true considering you came to rescue her and are now giving yourself up in her place."

I think fast, suddenly remembering Tris' interrogation, the part of it I wish I had never heard.

"She doesn't know," I say quickly. "But I do love her. I was the one who asked my father to arrange the marriage when she showed no interest in me."

"I see," Jeanine says, raising an eyebrow. "So she wouldn't mind if I were to put a bullet in your head?"

I feel as cold metal is pressed to my temple, and I swallow hard.

"I thought so," Jeanine says softly. "You're both great liars, but not good enough." Jeanine circles me, I don't know what for, and then she says, "I may not have gotten answers out of your wife, but I did get something even better. Come." She turns to walk away and the Dauntless guards around me beckon me to follow her.

We walk into a room filled with about fifty computers and large screens. There are photos of brain scans blown up on the wall, markers labeling every inch of it. There are various shades of different colours in every section. I look around, as confused as I've ever been. "What is this?"

"It perplexed me that the Divergent were immune to the serum I developed, so as you know, I have been working to remedy that. I thought I might have, with the last batch, but as you know, I was wrong," Jeanine answers. "So I started studying the brain wave patterns of Divergents to see if it would render me some answers. These are all scans of your wife's brain," Jeanine says coolly, as if this isn't the strangest thing I've ever seen in my life. She picks up a thin and long, black pointer and points to one of the scans. "The blue areas are the parts of Beatrice's brain that go into overdrive when she's fighting a simulation. These are those areas when she's at rest." She points at the same area in another scan, only it's void of colour. "So you can stop your little game. I know she was lying through her teeth even after I gave her truth serum."

I let out a breath, feeling relieved we rescued Tris when we did. God knows what Jeanine would have done to her next if she had then known Tris was lying.

"The stimulation of this part of the brain was not as exaggerated in the other Divergents I tested, which is why I was unable to identify it," Jeanine continues. "I only made notice of it after examining those scans side by side with your wife's. Beatrice's brain activity is very amplified, which is most likely the reason for her immunity to a broad spectrum of serums."

"You sound amused," I say with a smile. I didn't need a wall full of blown up brain scans to tell me Tris was special. I figured that out the very second I met her.

"I am," Jeanine admits. "But I only showed you this to let you know I don't need your help, Tobias. I already have the answer to my problems. All I have to do is suppress this part of the brain," she touches the scan with the pointer again, "and Divergents will be powerless against my serum."

I almost want to ask her how she plans to suppress a specific part of the brain, but I won't waste my breath. I already know she can. If Lola had already figured it out, no doubt Jeanine can as well. In my mind, I had pictured her to be somewhat psychotic, but she is more machine than maniac. She sees problems and forms solutions based on the data she collects. Abnegation stood in the way of her desire for power, so she found a way to eliminate it. She didn't have an army, so she found one in Dauntless. She knew that she would need to control large groups of people in order to stay secure, so she developed a way to do it with serums and transmitters.

"You know, it's rather convenient that you would show up today," Jeanine says to me as she eyes me head to toe. "I've run out of test subjects, and I already have a prototype for my new serum. I would prefer to spend my day testing it than carrying out the devastating accident at Dauntless headquarters that _was_ on my schedule for tonight."

I pinch my lips together and let out a breath. I somehow knew for certain her threats were never idle.

"And even though I want to, I can't kill you without your people causing an uproar and laying waste to this city, even if I make it look like an accident. Especially since you've already presented yourself to the Candor. And unlike what your wife believes, I am not on a mission to kill everyone who gets in my way."

I scoff. "It certainly looks that way. Can't say I blame her."

"Because I will if that is what is necessary," Jeanine says matter-of-factly, as if she weren't talking about genocide. "But you've provided me a way out, Tobias. What will happen is that you will publicly renounce your position and hand it over to me." She places her hands behind her back and stands up a little straighter.

"What makes you think I'd do that?" I ask, almost laughing. If she only knew my plan was to kill her before sunset.

"What makes you think you will have a choice?"

Out of her skirt pocket, Jeanine produces a vial of blue serum. I've never seen it before, but something tells me this is not going to go the way I planned.

"With this in your system, I can control what you see and hear," she says. "And coupled with the serum I created to suppress your Divergent abilities, I will be able to successfully adjust your surroundings to manipulate your will without you being able to fight it."

I growl at her, my teeth clenched so hard it hurts.

Jeanine tilts her head to the side. "I find it fitting that someone as important as yourself would be here to fulfil this purpose… and from Abnegation no less."

"One less of us for you to murder, right?"

"How right you are, Tobias," Jeanine says coolly. "If this is successful, I have no need to eliminate what's left of Abnegation." She smirks at me. "Don't get me wrong. We'd be better off entirely without a faction full of weak-willed Abnegation, especially considering it is the faction with the highest proportion of Divergents, but I'd rather not lose human resources if they can be salvaged."

I didn't know that most of the Divergent came from Abnegation. I don't even think that's true.

"Weak-willed?" I say with a scoff. "It requires a strong will to manipulate a simulation, last time I checked. Weak-willed is mind-controlling an army because it's too hard for you to train one."

"I am not a fool," says Jeanine, sounding offended. "A faction of intellectuals is no army. But we grew tired of being dominated by a bunch of self-righteous idiots who reject wealth and advancement. Knowing we couldn't do it on our own, we confided in the Dauntless who were all too happy to oblige me if I guaranteed them a place in our new, improved government."

"Improved," I laugh.

"Yes, improved," Jeanine says. "Improved, and working toward a world in which people will live in wealth, comfort, and prosperity."

"At whose expense?" I ask, my voice thick. "All that wealth… doesn't come from nowhere."

"Currently, the factionless are a drain on our resources," Jeanine replies. "As is- _was_ Abnegation. I am sure that once the remains of your old faction are absorbed into the Dauntless army, Candor will cooperate and we will finally be able to get on with things."

Absorbed into the Dauntless army. I know what that means—she wants to control them, too. She wants to control everyone.

"Get on with things," I repeat bitterly. "But make no mistake. You will be dead before you see it through. You won't get away with the murder of countless innocent people."

"Innocent people." Jeanine laughs. "I find that a little funny, coming from you. I would expect Marcus' son to understand that not all those people are innocent." She perches on the edge of the desk beside her, her skirt pulling away from her knees. "Can you tell me honestly that you weren't happy to discover your father was killed in the attack?"

"No," I say through gritted teeth. "But at least his evil didn't involve the widespread manipulation of an entire faction and the systematic murder of every political leader we have."

"Well… not _every_ political leader, obviously. _You're_ still here… for now, until you pass your power over to me and I kill you."

Jeanine and I stare at each other for a few seconds, just long enough to make me feel tense to my core, and then Jeanine clears her throat.

"And after you're gone, the surviving Abnegation and their young children will be my responsibility to keep in order, and it does not bode well for me that a large number of them may be Divergent like yourself and your dear wife, incapable of being controlled by the simulations."

She stands and walks a few steps to the left, her hands clasped in front of her. Her nail beds are bitten raw.

"Therefore, it was necessary that I develop a new form of simulation to which they are not immune." She paces a few steps to the right. "You are correct to imply that you are strong-willed. I cannot control your will, so I must control the things I can."

Jeanine nods, and I jump as four of the guards grab me, holding me still so I can't fight back. "Let me go!" I manage to blurt out, trying to pull my arms and legs away from the men, but it's too many of them.

An Erudite man approaches me, and he gently takes the vial from her hands. As he places it into the syringe, I growl, "No." But it's to no avail. The guards twist my neck to the side, giving him access, and he drives the needle into the large vein in my neck and pushes on the plunger.

My face begins to twist and my vision blurs, although not as much as my mind does. I literally feel like I'm being separated from myself, and with all the strength I can muster I try to stay in control, but it's too much. I feel as reality slips through my fingers.

"They will come for you, and you will kill them all," I hear Jeanine say even in my haziness, and although I try to fight it, some dark will takes over me and I feel myself decide, although _I_ never really decided, to kill anyone who tries to take me from this place.

Jeanine places a gun in my hand and tells me I'm free to go, and I suddenly start to forget my name, or even why I'm here.

"No," I try to say again, but this time it doesn't come out. I fight it, knowing Tris will come for me and I won't recognize her, but I lose.


	57. Unbreakable Passion Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

 **TRIS**

I'm frantic. My palms are sweating and my heart is racing so hard it hurts; my heartbeat is the only thing louder than my footsteps as I run through the Dauntless compound as fast as I ever have.

"Maybe he and Zeke stepped out for a second?" Susan suggests as she sprints behind me. But Tobias has been gone for more than a second. He's been gone for hours.

There's no one in the meeting room, Zeke's not at home, and after checking the control room, the Pit _and_ the training room, I feel I have no other choice but to admit to myself that Tobias is not inside the Dauntless compound.

"Maybe we should go back to my place," Susan says breathlessly. "Maybe he's waiting for you there."

"He's not!" I answer with unmasked frustration.

My eyes flood with tears because I don't have to think too hard about where Tobias might be, not after yesterday. Not after he confessed that he'd go to Erudite himself before ever letting Jeanine take me again. Without meaning to I woke him up- I woke up the part of him that would do anything to save everyone, even sacrifice himself.

I stop running and hold my head between my palms. "I'm sorry, Susan," I apologize to my friend for yelling at her. I know she's just trying to help.

As the tears flow down my cheeks she says, "It's ok, Tris." She presses a hand into my shoulder. "We'll find him."

I nod and we begin to walk again. I don't know where I'm headed when I see Zeke and Shauna having a heated discussion in a poorly lit corner. It takes nothing for me to run toward them.

"Zeke!" I yell when I'm close enough for them to hear me. He turns and the look on his face frightens me; he looks at me like I'm the last person he wants to see. I already know the answer even before I ask, "Tobias isn't with you, is he?"

I come to a quick stop in front of them. That's when I notice the large bruise on Zeke's face, and his clothes are dirty as if he were rolling around on the ground. Shauna doesn't look at me.

"Tris…," Zeke begins, and he frowns. Guilt is written all over his face.

I feel as my heart sinks too deep into my chest, crushing my lungs. For a moment I can't breathe. Then, finally, I gasp the second I'm done drawing conclusions. "You knew?! You knew and you didn't try and stop him?!" As big as he is, I push Zeke into the wall.

"Tris-" Shauna begins, stretching out her hand.

But Zeke interrupts her and says to me, "Of course I tried! But he knocked me out."

I hear Susan gasp behind me.

"How long has he been gone? And why didn't you tell me?!" I blurt out angrily. "You're supposed to be his friend!"

"I _am_ his friend," Zeke says hotly. "And I'm going after him as soon as we have a plan."

My eyes square in on his and I take a step closer to him. Zeke is much taller than I am, but fearlessly I look up at him and say, "Well I'm going after him _now_."

As I'm about to turn around and head for the exit, I hear a deep voice from the shadows say, "Going after _who_?"

Kade and Lola come walking briskly toward us, both their faces twisted with curiosity.

"Tobias," Shauna answers for me. She tucks her purple bangs behind her right ear. "He's gone."

"Gone? Gone where?!" Kade demands. He clenches his fists at his side, squeezing the blood out of them.

"Erudite," Lola answers calmly beside him and she takes a small step toward me.

"Why the hell would he do that?" Kade asks angrily, punching at the wall.

Lola twists her head to the side and folds her arms in front of her chest. "He figured it was the only way to save Tris."

I give her a look. If I didn't know any better I'd think she knew all along. But I've found Lola always rather quickly comes to the right conclusions. She's almost never afraid to let her Erudite show.

"Why does everyone always seem to think I need saving?" I ask, irritated.

My head instantly turns around as I hear another pair of footsteps approaching us. My eyes fall upon Uriah and Lynn. Strangely enough she's not trying to rip his head off; last I remember all they did was fight.

"Because you usually do," Uriah jokes as he makes his way toward us, but it's a bad joke and I don't laugh. Nobody does. Looking around him, he senses the tension in the air. "What's… What's going on, guys?"

Quietly, Susan takes her place beside him and whispers, "Tobias turned himself in. He went to Erudite."

Uriah's eyes open wide and Susan slowly snakes her arms around his waist.

"Is this because of what I said?" Lynn asks quietly. She looks at no one in particular, but her golden brown eyes look remorseful.

"It doesn't matter," I answer strongly, but I think deep down there's a part of me that _does_ blame her. "Point is, I'm going after him." I take a few large steps before I find my path being rudely obstructed. "I'm not going to let you stop me, Kade," I say as I look him dead in the eye. "You say you care about him so come with me!" I demand as a tear frees itself from my eyes. With my voice breaking, I say, "Help me save him, Kade. Please."

He lets out a soft breath. "You don't have to ask, Tris," he answers to my surprise. "You're not doing this alone."

"You don't have to ask _any_ of us," Uriah says. "Four is our family now too."

"But won't Jeanine be expecting us?" Shauna says, pinching her eyebrows together. "Like she was when Tris was taken?"

"No, she won't," Lola answers quickly. She shifts her weight to her right leg. "This is different. Tris was kidnapped. Tobias went there of his own free will. It wouldn't be logical for us to try and rescue him the very day he shows up there. I think today is the _only_ day she wouldn't be expecting us."

"And how do you suppose we get in?" Lynn asks. I raise my eyebrow at the word ' _we_ '.

"Through the front door," Lola answers. "We go in as traitor Dauntless. We'll be hiding in plain sight."

"Is that a good idea?" Kade asks her.

"Frankly, we don't have a choice; after we rescued Tris I imagine Jeanine has soldiers guarding all the weak points. Besides, she won't see it coming. But we need to move; we have to get there before sunset."

"Then let's go," I command. This ends today.

There was no debate about who was coming and who wasn't. Everyone got a weapon, Lola and Kade traded their factionless clothes for Dauntless ones, and in less than a minute we were all out the door, running toward the train tracks.

Running against the wind, we rush past old buildings and trees but it's like I don't see them. My thoughts are haphazard, being angry at Tobias while at the same time wanting nothing more than to free him from Jeanine, save him from all the things she might possibly do to him.

With just the thought of it, I feel as my throat tightens and the tears build up in my eyes. Fear courses through my veins, but like the Dauntless I use it as fuel, letting it power my stride as we run along the tracks.

"Wait!" I faintly hear someone yell, and if I didn't know any better I would think it's my brother. "I'm coming!"

Still running, I take a quick glance behind me and my eyes almost pop out of my head. It _is_ Caleb, dressed in black and running awkwardly with a gun in his hand. Uriah recognizes him too, and with eyes wide open he says, "No way."

I'm just as confused, but I don't slow down. If Caleb catches up with us, good for him. If not, he can stay behind. I don't really want his help, and more importantly, I don't think we need it.

"You run alongside the train to gain momentum!" Shauna yells as we all run, though mostly to Caleb. He's the only one here who has never done this before. "Grab onto the side and jump in! We'll go first so we can pull you up!"

I hear the train approaching behind me, but the reality of where we're going and what we're about to do only hits me when it glides past me more than twice the speed I'm running; we are literally racing toward danger. I drive my feet into the ground, picking up pace to keep stride with the train. Lola and Kade jump in first, easily, and then all the others follow behind.

After Uriah pulls Susan in, I grab the handle on the left and I swing myself inside. It feels easier than it did the last time I did this, when we went to Candor. They all move away from the doorway, but I stand on the edge with one hand on the handle, watching my brother try to catch up. And just as I think he won't make it, Caleb jumps, landing hard and rolling on his side to get in.

"What are you doing here?" I ask him before he's even picked himself up off the floor or caught his breath. Everyone else makes an extra effort to not look at him at all.

Caleb looks strange in black. Not only has he never worn the colours before, he has never been about what they represent. Honestly, I don't even think he deserves to wear them. My brother has always been a coward, hiding behind his intelligence, thinking it made him better than people.

"I've come to help," Caleb answers breathlessly as he stands to his feet and brushes the dust off his clothes. I can't imagine where he even got them. His face is red with exertion and his dark brown hair is unusually messy. On an ordinary day I wouldn't have recognized him at all.

"I'm not sure how much help you think you'll be," I snap at him.

"I know Erudite headquarters inside and out," he says firmly.

"We have Lola for that."

"Beatrice… Tris…," he says pleadingly, and I know he's desperate because he's never called me Tris before. "Please let me help. Let me do this. I want to make things right."

I scoff. "You don't even _like_ Tobias," I roll my eyes at my brother, about to step away from him.

"But you love him, and I love you," he answers softly, stopping me in my tracks. "That has to be enough for me."

I look at him, not feeling sorry for him at all. But I suppose if he wants to make amends, helping me rescue my husband from the likes of Jeanine is not a terrible place to start. "Fine," I say. "You can come. But keep up. No one's coming back for you if you get left behind."

* * *

The train ride feels too long yet I still don't believe it when Lola yells, "We're here!" She and Kade are the first to jump off, then Shauna and Zeke follow behind. And I don't know why Caleb is surprised when he realizes the train isn't going to stop for us to get off.

"We have to-to jump… off a moving train?" he stutters.

"Jumping off a moving train is definitely not the most dangerous thing you will have to do today," Susan says to him with a small smirk. She pats him hard on the back and he's so startled he jumps.

Lynn is amused and she starts grinning. "You really _are_ Dauntless now," she says to Susan, her eyebrow piercing shining in the sunlight. They look at each other for a moment, just long enough for me to see the unspoken understanding between them. At least we can all be civil now, even if just for the sake of Tobias.

Uriah, on the other hand, doesn't look too happy that Susan spoke to Caleb at all. I guess just like him, I'd rather my brother stay away from the people I love. He takes Susan by the hand, and together they jump off.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I ask my brother as he stares up at Erudite headquarters. "There's no turning back once you jump off this train and walk through those doors."

Caleb swallows hard and his Adam's apple takes a dive. He nods. "It's just strange," he says. "The last time I was here… it was home."

"Well the last time _I_ was here, I was being tortured. So…"

"Tris…" he begins, but I don't let him finish. I jump off and run to catch up with the others. My knees ache every time my feet hit the ground. The impact had shuddered through my body, making even my shoulder throb.

We gather at the entrance, all with blue bands around our right arm, and just like Lola suggested, we walk through the doors like we own the place. I suppose it makes sense. They wouldn't be able to tell who is who, and given that only a few days ago they broke into Erudite to get _me_ out, Jeanine would never expect that we'd just waltz right in.

I observe my surroundings while making sure to not make eye contact with anyone; I was here only a few days ago and I can't risk someone recognizing me. We all engage in meaningless conversation so as not to stand out, and we walk past the front desk without even looking at the man sitting behind it. To my relief, his eyes are glued to the paper in front of him and we don't earn so much as a glance from him.

I don't recognize anything; probably because when I was brought here I was unconscious and thrown over someone's shoulder. Still, my breathing gets slower as we head deeper into Erudite headquarters and for a moment I think I stop breathing entirely.

When we've made our way through most of the crowd, our fake conversations come to a stop, and Lola takes us down a corridor that leads to an elevator. When we're all inside, she presses several buttons on the side of the elevator door, and it closes in front of us.

Caleb stares at Lola wide-eyed for some reason.

As soon as the elevator starts moving, Lola says, "This is where it gets complicated. We're gonna have to split up, and only authorized Dauntless should be on certain floors. Obviously we're not authorized so each and every one of us needs to stay hidden the minute we get off this elevator; at least until Shauna, Caleb and I can shut down the simulation computers. That way if Jeanine needs to activate her army, she can't."

"How will we know you've shut down the computers?" Susan asks.

"You won't," Lola answers. "Always assume we haven't."

Susan and Lynn both nod, already aware of what their role is in this mission.

When the elevator makes its first stop, there's a beep and the door opens.

"This is where you get off Tris," Lola says to me. "Kade is going with you. Your only job is to find Tobias. We'll take care of the rest."

I nod, not wanting to be responsible for anything else. Tobias is all I came here for.

"Good luck guys," I say to them.

Kade and I step out of the elevator and we immediately head for an unlit corner behind a pillar. The room has several large pillars, enough to make one question the stability of the roofing. But I use them to my advantage; I'm small enough to not be seen when I stand behind them.

I peer around the pillar and try to peep up ahead but I can't see much. Compared to the rest of Erudite, this room is very poorly lit.

"How does she know he's on this floor?" I ask Kade as he walks quietly behind me.

He chuckles. "How does Lola know anything?"

"True," I say, though mostly to myself.

Then, uninvited, Kade asks, "So do you hate me too? Or is it just Tobias?"

I bite my lip. I'm grateful for the darkness so he can't see the look on my face. "I don't hate you, Kade. Although I won't apologize for stabbing you with truth serum, I do understand why you did what you did."

"Thank you," he says softly. Thankfully, he says nothing else. I'd rather not talk about this now.

"We need to be vigilant. Jeanine might be-" but my sentence is cut off the second we walk into the first patch of light. I hear a gunshot and I drop to the ground. The spark from the gun flashes across the room and Kade grabs me, pulling me behind one of the pillars. He signals for me to stay low.

Someone must have seen us.

Quickly I crawl into the next dark patch before the shooter sends another bullet after me.

"You ok?" Kade mouths the question to me. I nod.

I run behind another pillar, then I creep along the edge of the room to try and surprise whatever guard is shooting at us before he gets the chance to fire a bullet at our heads.

"Whoever's there," a voice shouts, "surrender your weapons and put your hands up!"

I turn to the side and press my back to the stone wall. I shuffle quickly sideways, one foot crossing over the other, squinting to see through the darkness. Another gunshot fires, hitting the wall so far away from us that I realize the guard has no idea where we are now. I take advantage of that and I continue to slowly creep toward him; Kade follows close behind me. When I get to the edge of the unlit wall, I see the guard quivering, his gun pointed in the wrong direction.

I take a step toward him, my footsteps light as I creep up on him. Kade reaches out to grab me, but he's not quick enough. Thankfully, he decides to wait in the shadows instead of coming after me. He's bigger and heavier than I am and if he so much as steps on a grain of sand he'll give us both away.

I can't win in a fight, but I don't plan to engage the Dauntless soldier. I just want to get close enough so he can't run. And one step at a time, I do.

I press my gun into the back of his head and yell, "Where is Tobias Eaton?!"

The guard jumps and cries out. Instantly he drops his gun to the floor and throws his hands up in the air. He breathes heavily, and he doesn't answer my question.

I shift my aim to the left and fire at his arm. His screams fill the hallway. Blood spurts from the wound, and he screams again, pressing his injured hand into his body. I shift the gun back to his head, ignoring the pang of guilt in my chest. As much as I've seen people being shot, I've never shot someone before.

"I asked you a question," I say, "I'll give you one more chance to tell me what I need to know before I shoot you somewhere worse."

The guard turns his head and focuses his eyes on me, and then, with a confused glare, he stares at the band around my arm. Recognizing we're on different teams, his teeth close over his lower lip, and his breaths shake on the way out. "He's in the control room at the end of this hall. Jeanine has him monitoring the security cameras. He's the one who reported to her that you were here."

"Why would he do that?" I press the gun harder into his skin.

"He's under simulation," the guard answers shakily. "Jeanine's testing out a new serum on him, one that supresses his Divergence so he can be manipulated. So far it's working."

I hear Kade curse as he approaches behind me, his weapon also pointed at the Dauntless guard.

I let out a slow and troubled breath. Jeanine finally did come up with a solution to her problem. I may have given her more than I meant to, more than I realized I had.

"Take me to him," I demand.

"He won't know who you are. In fact he'll think you're his enemy."

"I said take me to him!" I yell at the Dauntless traitor, pushing the gun deeper into his skin. He swallows hard, but slowly he turns around and begins to lead the way.

We walk further into the dark room, and as my eyes adjust I begin to see several doors on each side of it. I scan the walls, searching for signs of life, but I see no movement and no figures standing in the darkness. How could it be that Jeanine has only one soldier guarding Tobias?

The guard stops walking and points in front of him. He says, "At the very end of the room you'll see a staircase with a blue door at the top. Tobias is inside, but he won't let you get anywhere near him."

"Watch me," I say to the guard as I bring him to his knees and using his own handcuff, I cuff him to one of the pillars.

Kade stands firm with his gun aimed at the Dauntless traitor, but his eyes are focused on me. "I'm not encouraging your behaviour but it suits you," he says. "I don't know how you ever planned on surviving in Abnegation."

I look up at him. "Is that supposed to be a compliment?" I ask flatly.

He shakes his head and smiles. "Sort of."

I knew it wouldn't have been easy living in Abnegation, but I certainly didn't expect a war or anything severe enough to continuously stir up the Dauntless inside of me. And as much as I've manifested it, something entirely different changed inside me the second I realized Tobias was gone; it's like someone flipped a switch and my Dauntless side hijacked my mind and body. I think I finally understand Tobias' loss of common sense and thirst for blood when I was kidnapped.

"Do you think love can make you crazy," I ask Kade as I stare into the darkness, ready to plunge myself into it and rescue my husband.

With his gun still in his hand, Kade crosses his arms in front of his chest. "I think love can make you brave. It can make you do things you didn't even know you were capable of."

I nod slowly, and then I turn to look at him. "So what are you so afraid of?"

Confused, his mouth hangs open for a while before he asks, "What do you mean, Tris?"

"You know there's _one_ thing Lola doesn't know," I tell him.

"What?"

"How you feel about her. And she has that in common with Tobias," I explain. "Whatever is stopping you from really devoting yourself to people, you need to deal with it or you won't have anyone left. And take it from the girl who is trying to rescue her husband before he's killed," I tell him sincerely. "Every moment matters."

Wide-eyed, Kade stares at me. "Why does it sound like you're sharing that final piece of wisdom before I never see you again?" He lets out a nervous chuckle.

"Because I'm going after Tobias alone," I say firmly.

His facial expression immediately hardens. His lips are tightly pressed together. "No. You're not."

"Yes, I am," I say. "If he's really under simulation, it has to be me Kade. If you walk in there with me you'll get us both killed. But I can bring him back. I know I can."

Kade lets out a heavy breath and rubs his hand through his hair. As he opens his mouth to argue with me I say, "Don't argue. You know I'm right."

"I know," he says, sounding frustrated. "I just wish you weren't." He sighs heavily and closes his eyes. "You're too brave, Tris," he says. "I never thought I'd say those words to anyone. But you are."

If he only knew how terrified I actually am of being here, of walking into that room with Tobias. But then again, isn't that what the Dauntless say? That bravery is being able to act in spite of fear?

Kade stares at me for a few seconds. "Go," he says, "Be careful. And if you're not back here in twenty minutes I'm coming for you."

I smile for some reason. "Ok."


	58. Unbreakable Passion Chapter 31

**Chapter** **31**

 **TRIS**

I don't waste any more time. I keep my gun in hand and start toward the path that leads to the room where Tobias is. At first I run, but when I've run out of pillars to hide behind, and I get to a part of the room that's more lit, I walk carefully. When Kade is so far behind me that I can't see him anymore, the emptiness makes me shiver. Only thing is, the room is not that empty; I'm not alone.

I freeze when I hear the first footstep, my gun ready. I peep out of the shadows and I see a guard staring in my direction. Assuming I've been spotted, I aim at him and shoot. But I miss, hitting the wall behind him.

"Come on, Tris," I quietly scold myself. I just gave away my position.

The guard fires back and I duck as bullets hit the floor around me with a ding. I fire again, and this time I don't miss. I hear a loud thud as his body falls to the ground.

I don't celebrate just yet, now hearing a horde of quick footsteps heading straight toward me. With nothing to aim at I shoot at the darkness, toward the footsteps and shouts. When they're close enough, I see them as shadows moving and I feel my heartbeat pick up in my chest. Terrified, but unwilling to hesitate for even a second, I step up, point my gun, and shoot.

I hit one of them in the arm and I hear when he cries out in pain. Luckily it's his shooting arm that was hit, because he drops his gun and it skids across the floor. My body shaking, I launch myself to the ground and snatch the fallen gun before he can get to it.

"Hey! Stop!" he yells at me, but I don't, and with his own gun I shoot him in the leg so he can't chase me.

"I've got her!" another one yells, and a bullet whizzes past my head, so close to hitting me that it moves my hair. Eyes wide, I fling my right arm over my shoulder, forcing a searing pain through my body, and I fire three times behind me. By some miracle, one of the bullets hits the guard who shot at me, and my eyes water uncontrollably from the pain in my shoulder.

I hear another body thud to the ground, and although the idea of large men shooting at me is frightening, I realize the advantage is mine. The only reason they haven't hit me yet is because I'm a much smaller target.

I run back into the shadows and when I see another Dauntless traitor heading toward me, I point both guns at him. I fire before _he_ can, hitting him in the knees, and I run knowing he'll be unable to come after me.

I run through the shadows, stopping every time I think I see movement, never assuming I got them all. I'm terrified but I keep running, unable to stop, unable to think of anything else but getting to Tobias. Then suddenly, up ahead, I see it. I see the blue door at the top of the staircase.

With my back pressed against the wall, I catch my breath and try to slow my heart rate.

"You can do this, Tris," I whisper to myself. "You can do this."

After I've collected myself, I run toward the door and there's a loud clanging as I run up the metal staircase. I move swiftly just in case there's someone behind me, and just as quickly as I open the door, I close it behind me. I press my back to it as I take a look around the large room.

The first thing that catches my attention is how much brighter it is in here than it is outside, and aside from a few desks and computers, there's nothing else inside the room. I'm entirely exposed.

There are a few large screens hanging from the walls. Images flash across them, changing every couple seconds. The images appear to be from cameras set up all over Erudite.

In the centre of the room, about fifty feet away from the door is the largest desk. There's a computer on it, and there's a Dauntless soldier sitting in front of it, his eyes fixed on the images. And even if I didn't know he was inside this room, I'd recognize that dark hair, that long nose with a narrow bridge.

I breathe in and out, trying to stop my fingers from shaking. And with my eyes closed I say his name.

"Tobias."

He instantly turns to look at me, then he looks around for a few seconds as if confused by what he sees. With his eyebrows drawn in, he slowly stands to his feet.

There's no turning back now.

He stares at me now. He doesn't look like the sleepwalking Dauntless soldiers I remember from the Abnegation attack. His eyes are alert and his movements look natural. This is not the old simulation, this is something else.

Tobias raises his gun, pointing it straight at me. "Who are you? What are you doing in here?" he says.

"Tobias," I say shakily, "It's me. It's Tris." But it's like he doesn't know me. I raise my arms in the air, completely forgetting I have a gun in each hand.

"Drop your weapons!" he says firmly, perceiving me as a threat, and I jump. I remember the Dauntless guard said the simulation manipulated what Tobias saw and he wouldn't recognize me. Tobias will shoot me if he has to. So, without hesitating, I set my guns down at my feet and slowly stand back up.

"Ok," I answer him softly. "Ok."

His eyes narrow and he slowly starts toward me. His muscles are taut, and his are eyes focused on me, but not seeing me, not looking at me the way they did only yesterday. A little voice in my head sings that he can't hear me, he can't see me, he doesn't know me. I command it to shut up.

"It's me," I say to him as he walks toward me, refusing to give up. "It's Tris, your wife."

"My W-," he scoffs. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Jeanine has you under some sort of simulation. I don't… I don't understand what it is. I know you might not recognize me, but I need you to trust me. We need to get out of here."

Before I can stop him, Tobias closes a hand around my throat, squeezing my airway with his fingers until I can't breathe. I choke, my face hot with blood. "Who sent you here?!" he growls at me.

My hands claw at his and somehow I find the strength to push Tobias off me. I gasp, drawing a rattling breath into my lungs.

"Tobias, it's me," I say raspily, but the look in his eyes tells me that means nothing to him. "Please see me."

"You're coming with me," he commands, and when he tries to restrain my hands behind my back, I elbow him in the ribs and grab his wrist, twisting the gun out of his hand. He will take me to Jeanine, and if he does, I'll be dead for sure. But I can't stay here and do nothing or he will shoot me.

I dive to pick up the gun before _he_ can, but he kicks it out of the way, and with strength I didn't know he had, Tobias picks me up off the floor and demands I tell him who sent me here. When I don't have an answer for him, he grabs me by the throat again. Gasping, I knee him in the ribs until he lets me go, and I make my way for one of the guns.

Being faster than I am, Tobias gets to me before I can make it; he grabs me by the hair and wrenches me to the side. I cry out as I crash into the wall, and I turn around to see Tobias coming straight at me. He lifts his hand up as if he's about to hit me. My head jerks to the side and I cringe away from him, flinging my hands up to protect my face.

"Tobias! Stop!" I yell.

And he does, with his hand mid-air. I peep through my fingers to find Tobias' dark, conflicted eyes just staring at me. He stands stiff.

"Something isn't right," I choke out. "And I know you can feel it."

He doesn't say anything, he only stands there breathing heavily, his closed fist still hanging in the air.

I divert my eyes from his for just a second, and I make the mistake of looking at the ground. When I do, I see one of my guns close to his feet, and so does he. Quickly, Tobias moves to pick it up and when he points it at me again, I begin to fear my words are falling on deaf ears and if I don't find a way to bring him back soon he will shoot me.

"Tobias," I begin desperately. "I know you're in there somewhere."

I can't beat Tobias in a fight. I know that already. My only hope is that he's not entirely gone, lost to me, controlled by a simulation. But I know it, I can feel it in my heart, he's in there.

My body begins to tremble when he presses the gun barrel to my forehead, and my heart stops entirely when the bullet clicks into the chamber. But what scares me most about this moment is not that I might die. It's that Tobias might wake up one day and realize he killed me. He will never forgive himself for it.

I can't let him do this.

My face is wet with tears and the air feels cold as it touches my cheeks. Slowly, I reach out and rest my hand on his chest so I can feel his heartbeat. It's the same heartbeat that rings in my ears as I fall asleep at night, and it's all the evidence I need that my husband is still in there.

"You promised you'd always find me no matter where I was," I cry. "Well I'm right here, Tobias. Please come back to me."

I stand still and wait for the gunshot, but it doesn't come. Tobias stares at me with ferocity but he doesn't move. His hand trembles and the gun shakes against my forehead. His heart pounds against my palm, and my own heart lifts. He knows something is wrong. He's fighting the simulation.

"Tobias," I whisper his name again. "It's me." Slowly, I take a step forward and I wrap my arms around him and press my head against his chest. "It's me," I say again.

His body is stiff with only his hand falling to his side. He doesn't push me away.

His heart beats faster; I can feel it against my cheek. Looking up at him, I feel brave, and gently I press my lips against his, slowly kissing him, knowing the energy we both feel every time our bodies connect must be strong enough to bring him back.

At first his lips are unyielding as mine gently move against his, but then his body relaxes and his lips begin to move, kissing me back just like I knew he would.

"Tris?" Tobias whispers shakily against my lips. I hear a thud as the gun hits the floor. Suddenly taking a step back, Tobias grabs my shoulders and with wide eyes he scans my body from head to toe. "Tris!" he cries out, and it's him again.

"Tobias," I cry.

Swiftly, his arms wrap around me and he lifts me up, holding me against him, his hands clutching at my back and my neck. His face and the back of his neck are slick with sweat, his body is shaking, and he squeezes me until my body blazes with pain, but I don't care; I only pull him closer.

His mouth collides with mine, firmer this time, and he kisses my cheek and forehead wildly.

When he finally sets me down, Tobias stares at me, his fingers quickly brushing over my forehead, my eyebrows, my cheeks, my lips. Something like a sob and a sigh and a moan escapes him, and he kisses me again.

His eyes are bright with tears when he painfully whispers, "Did I hurt you?"

"No," I lie raspily, my throat betraying me.

"I could have killed you, Tris!" he says fervently. "I almost shot you!"

"But you didn't," I say to him. Leave it to Tobias to feel guilty for something he didn't do.

"Why didn't you shoot me the second you walked in?"

"No," I shake my head instantly, rejecting entirely that that was even an option. "I could never do that," I say. I run my fingers along the tendons in his hand and look back at him. "I'm not losing you too, Tobias," I cry. "I can't."

Tobias takes my face in his hands roughly and kisses me, the pressure of his lips pushing mine apart. All my feelings of pain and terror are gone.

"I love you," I say in between every kiss, barely giving myself time to breathe.

With a pained look on his face, Tobias leans closer to me so his lips brush mine when he speaks. "I love you too."

I pull myself to his chest and cry into his shirt, suddenly feeling a throbbing in my head and a feeling of heaviness in my heart brought on by the thought alone of losing him. I feel like my body weight doubles. I lean against him, and he supports me.

"I knew you could do it," I smile through my tears. "I knew you'd come back to me."

Kissing my hair, Tobias says, "I told you, Love. I'll always come back to you."

After a few minutes of breathing in the sweet scent of his chest, I remember why we're here in the first place. I pull back and wipe my cheeks with the heels of my hands and I scold him. "Why did you come here, Tobias?!"

"Tell me you weren't going to do the same," he says softly.

I open my mouth to speak, but I close it when I recognize the words I was about to say were lies. Given Jeanine's threats, had he not come, I eventually would have.

Tobias leans his face into mine. "I thought so," he says. "Jeanine is never hurting you again, Tris. Ever. And I'm not planning on leaving this place without her- dead or alive."

"Well then we need to find Zeke and Uriah," I say, looking at the door. "They went after Jeanine. And Lola, Caleb and Shauna went to find the main control room to destroy the computers Jeanine uses to run the simulation program."

But all Tobias hears is, "Caleb?"

"Yeah," I whisper. "He followed us and insisted on helping."

Tobias gives me a look but he doesn't say anything. He doesn't need to. I was just as confounded about my brother coming along.

"We need to help them," I continue. "We can't leave here again without getting it done. Without it, Jeanine won't be able to wake up her army. And the minute we capture her, this war will be over."

Tobias frowns. "What if she doesn't need to wake up her army? Every Dauntless you see here chose to follow her, Tris."

I shake my head. "That might be true," I say. "But at least they'll be free to make their own choice this time when Jeanine sends them to murder more innocent people, and if they decide to attack their own faction then that's on them. But I don't think the Dauntless, even after they've defected, would be too keen on killing their own."

Tobias thinks for a second and then nods, although he doesn't look too convinced. "I really hope you're right, Tris."

I do too.

I wrap my arms tighter around his waist. "And what if I'm wrong?" I ask him. "What _if_ the traitor Dauntless are willing to kill their own flesh and blood for Jeanine? What do we do then?"

"Then," he says, "we kill Jeanine."

* * *

 **A/N: Not too long a chapter, but hopefully a fulfilling one! Let me know what you guys thought about it :) And thank you to Bamberlee for making this chapter a whole lot better than it was initially! lol**


	59. Unbreakable Passion Chapter 32

**Chapter 32**

 **TOBIAS**

"Tris!"

Violently, the blue door swings open and a hysteric Kade comes barging in. His gun is pointed somewhere between Tris and me and he walks toward us with a fury. Just like Tris, he's dressed in full black attire with the blue band of the traitor Dauntless around his arm.

Wide-eyed, Tris holds out her hand in front of her. "It's ok. It's ok. It's Tobias," she says to him.

Kade lets out a few distressed breaths as he stares at me. "I heard gunshots," he says as he lowers his weapon.

"The door was guarded by a few soldiers," Tris explains. "I got them all."

"What?!" I exclaim, looking at Tris and then sending a death glare toward Kade. "This place was guarded and you let her come here alone?!"

"No, I didn't know there would have been-"

"It was _my_ idea, Tobias," Tris urges, cutting Kade off mid-sentence. "I'm fine." She takes my face between her cold, shaking palms. "We're fine," she then says to Kade.

" _Are_ you?" I ask Tris softly, my face sinking. "Don't lie to me."

She's still trembling a bit, and the skin of her neck is red from where I grabbed her. Just now I was no better than the soldiers guarding this door. I could have killed her. Me being under Jeanine's control was never part of the plan.

"I am."

Tris snakes her arms around my waist and I hold her steady against me. I press a kiss to her forehead, glad she's here yet wishing she weren't. My wife is too strong, too brave, too selfless, and I would never forgive myself if she were to get hurt trying to save me. Although, it would have been stupid of me to assume she wouldn't have come to my rescue.

Carefully, Kade approaches us. "We can't stay here long," he inputs. "Jeanine will soon realize something's up."

"If she hasn't already," I answer. "I sent word to her that there were intruders in the building. She'll be on our tail soon."

"Then we need to find Zeke and Uriah," Kade says, his gun still ready at his side. "They went after Jeanine. And Lola and the others went to destroy the simulation computers."

Tris had mentioned the others had different assignments, but she never mentioned Kade was with her. I don't think it's a coincidence that he is; of course he'd choose to come after me.

"Tris, I want you to get out of here," I say to her. "If someone sees you-"

"No," she interrupts firmly. "I'm already here and we're doing this together."

I'm about to strongly disagree when the sound of a blasting alarm pierces through the walls of the room. We all quickly look around, but the sound seems to be coming from nowhere in particular.

Suddenly a mechanical voice says, ' _All guards report to Hall B. Code four. All guards report to Hall B. Code four.'_

"Where is Hall B?" Tris asks frantically.

"And what's a code four?" Kade adds.

"No idea," I answer. "But we need to move. Someone might have been caught."

I turn around to check the computer monitors, and changing the view from the keyboard, I review all the cameras until I find Zeke and Uriah. They're walking down a hallway with about thirty other Dauntless guards. Something has obviously been set in motion.

"There they are," I say, pointing at the computer screen. "Let's go."

We run back the way Tris and Kade had come, only instead of the elevator, we take the stairs. I don't know my way around Erudite headquarters, but I do remember some of the images from the surveillance cameras and I remember how to get to the room where Jeanine had me taken when I came here. Uriah and Zeke weren't too far from there, which means Jeanine is probably still in that room.

When I hear the thundering of loud footsteps as the soldiers race down the halls, I know we're close. I urge Tris and Kade to stay behind me and we approach cautiously. When I stick my head out from behind the corner, I see red lights flashing in the hallway packed with armed Dauntless soldiers. I let out a sigh of relief when I pick out a familiar face.

"I see Uriah," I say. "We'll have to join them, run with the soldiers like we're one of them. They shouldn't be the wiser as long as we all run in the same direction."

"And which direction is that?" Tris asks. "Where exactly are they going?"

"I have no idea," I answer.

The minute Zeke comes into view, I step out into the light; Tris and Kade follow quickly behind me, and together we join the pack of Dauntless. We match pace with them, and following the men in front of us, we run as if we know where we're going.

Uriah sees me first, and he smiles at me as he runs, slowly inching himself toward us. Subtly, he pulls Zeke's sleeve to get his attention and it doesn't take long for him to realize we're running not more than three feet away from him.

"No hard feelings?" I ask Zeke when he's close enough to hear me over the blazing alarm.

"For hitting me in the face?" he laughs. "I'll think about it."

Suddenly, every single one of the Dauntless soldiers come to a stop. It happens so abruptly that the others and I almost don't stop running in time. They all stare ahead blankly, not moving an inch, not even blinking. I look at the soldier to my left and there's a strong but blank look in his eyes; it's a look I'd recognize anywhere, and so would Tris, Kade and Uriah.

But Zeke doesn't. "What the-"

"Shhh," Uriah whispers to him, and he stares blankly ahead like the others. "This is just like the attack simulation."

"She activated it," I say to myself.

"Be quiet and play along," Uriah says softly. "If you move with them, they won't know you don't belong. But the minute they see you do something out of character, they _will_ shoot you. When you see me step aside just follow me," he adds. "The others will think we received different orders."

The Dauntless begin to move again, but this time they march and their footsteps are in unison. We do our best to match it, marching with them as if Jeanine were in our heads too. Thankfully it doesn't take long for Uriah to break off, and the rest of us follow behind him without being seen, or at least so we think.

We walk into a wide open space, and at first I feel exposed. With my gun in the air, I scan the room from every angle, and so does Kade, but there seems to be no one else around.

Tris lets out a breath and she presses her back to the wall. I _really_ wish she weren't here. This is too much like the day we almost didn't escape Jeanine's mind controlled Dauntless, the day her parents died. Quietly she says, "What in the world is going on? I can't even hear myself think."

"You mean the alarm?" Uriah asks Tris.

She nods.

"That's us," he explains. "Lynn and Susan set off the alarm by trying to open the doors to a highly restricted area. It was meant to divert the soldiers in that direction since it's all the way on the other side of the building, away from Jeanine. But Zeke and I were on their path when they sounded the alarm, and we had to turn around or we would have been figured out."

"Which means Lola wasn't able to destroy the simulation computers," Zeke infers.

"She'll get it done," Kade answers sharply. "Just give her time."

"Unfortunately we don't have much of that," I say. "Jeanine is in control of the Dauntless now, which means we're at _her_ mercy and not theirs. They'll kill us on sight if they realize we don't belong."

"Well then let's not give them a chance to," Zeke says and he gestures for us to follow him.

But it's too late.

Out of nowhere, the sound of gunshots fills the room, echoing in our ears. White particles burst into the air as the bullets hit the wall next to us.

"Run!" Uriah yells, as if we needed to be urged to get the hell out of there.

We run down an empty hallway and three Dauntless soldiers pursue us. They run in unison, their footsteps echoing. They're not too close, but not far enough that their bullets can't reach us; they fire at me, and I dive, landing hard on the ground. Tris appears at my side in a second, helping me to my feet. She fires three shots behind her and says, "We need cover."

"Over there!" Kade points to the end of the hallway where it bends, and we run toward it, firing shots behind us as we go.

As we get to it, I throw myself around the corner and click a bullet into the chamber of my gun. I point the gun into the hallway and fire blindly. When I only hear one set of footsteps, I realize I must have hit two of them.

"I'll get the other one," Kade says, and he steps into the hallway, quickly aims and fire three shots. After that there are no more footsteps, only the sound of a large body falling to the ground. "There'll be more of them soon," he says. "We need to find Jeanine."

Tris leans her back against the wall and clutches at her chest as she tries to catch her breath.

"Can I ask you again to wait outside?" I ask her. I recognize where we are; I remember it from the surveillance cameras. Jeanine's office isn't too far from here.

"You can ask again, and I'll say no again," she declares.

I sigh. I came here so no one else would die. I came here to protect as many people as I could. And I care more about Tris' safety than anyone else's. So why am I here, if she's here? What's the point?

"You've already done so much and I can't risk losing you," I say, taking her face in my hands. "Jeanine doesn't know I'm no longer under her control. I'll be able to get much closer on my own."

"Not to mention, Tris, if Jeanine finds out you're here, you're not leaving Erudite," Kade says. "You're a prize to Jeanine," but she's an even bigger prize to _me_. " _I'll_ go with Tobias. You, Uriah and Zeke can cover us. Make sure no one follows us."

Tris looks at us both for a second. "Ok," she agrees. "But the minute you don't come out of there I'm coming after you, Tobias."

I nod and then press a rough kiss to her lips. "We're gonna end this today," I assure her before walking away with Kade. I don't look back, but I can feel Tris' eyes burning into my back.

"Thank you for that," I say to Kade when we're far enough away from the others. I don't need to explain to him that Tris hasn't even recovered from her time in Erudite, as I'm sure he knows, since he agreed to come with me so Tris would stay behind.

The truth is, as angry as I've been with him, I can't really deny the fact that even though we've been at odds, Kade has never neglected to do whatever he could to save me or Tris. I suppose that should count for something.

"You're welcome," he answers. Nervously he adds, "Now might not be the time but, I hope maybe one day you could find it in your heart to forgive me for keeping the truth from you."

I expect him to elaborate but he doesn't. I don't say anything, mostly because I don't know what to say. Marcus never apologized to me- not once. He never accepted fault. He never cared about my feelings or my wellbeing.

Kade has been persistently doing all of these things.

Maybe it's unkind of me to compare him to my father. Maybe my mother loved him because of how _unlike_ Marcus he was. And ever since Tris spoke to him, she's been insisting I give him a chance. Maybe for that reason alone I should.

"Maybe," I answer softly with a sigh.

It's enough to make him smile.

Just then, Jeanine's lair comes into view. I point ahead of me. "There it is," I say firmly. "I'll take it from here. I'll try and convince her to have the other guards sent out and once I have her alone, she's mine."

Kade nods. "I'll stay hidden until you need me. If I hear more than two gunshots I'm coming in."

I chuckle softly. "Ok," I say, and taking deep breaths along the way, I walk toward the door. I try to act as natural as possible, knowing Jeanine will be able to sense if something is wrong. In my mind I remember seeing her as the leader my father had appointed just before his demise, and that those fighting against her were enemies of the city. I try to recall everything she had put in my head when I was under simulation, and I use it to stay in character.

I barge through the doors, pretending to be confused and irate. When I lock eyes with Jeanine I ask, "What's going on out there?"

"Just the person I need," she sighs. "The intruders have set off the alarm. I believe they might have done so intentionally. Everyone abandoned their posts and started running around like headless chickens, and even so they haven't managed to capture a single one of the intruders." I feel my shoulders relax when she says this. It means Susan and Lynn were successful in their part of the plan without being caught. "There is a protocol set in place for this sort of thing, but of course the Dauntless act like they've never heard an alarm before. Such primitive behaviour. I had to activate the transmitters to have some sort of order." Jeanine sighs with disgust.

She's not alone; there's another female scientist and seven Dauntless guards in the room with her.

Knowing I need to be much closer to her in order to restrain her, I walk toward her and ask, "What do you want me to do? And what about these men? Can't they go after the intruders?"

"The advantage to this version of the simulation," her eyes light up as she speaks to the other scientist, "is that he can reason, act independently, and is therefore far more effective than a mindless soldier." She then looks at me and says, "These men are to stay with me as my guard. I want _you_ to find the intruders and bring them to me." She smirks. "How entertaining that will be!"

I imagine she assumes I will round up my own friends and family and bring them for her to execute. Knowing I won't get her alone and finally close enough to grab her, I lunge myself at her, holding her by the throat and pressing my gun into her forehead. "I prefer not to," I seethe at her.

Jeanine gasps, and she claws at my hands. The scientist beside her screams, and the Dauntless guards quickly surround us, their guns held ready and aimed at me. But they won't shoot me if shooting me means killing her.

"How is this possible?!" Jeanine cries out as she thrashes under my grasp. "How are you awake?!"

I chuckle. "It turns out my wife is even more special than you thought, Jeanine."

Even in all the haze and confusion, I heard Tris' voice crying out to me, and I followed it until I found my way back to her.

"Drop your weapon!" One of the Dauntless guards yells at me.

"Are you really this stupid, Tobias? To think my guards won't shoot you if I tell them to?"

"Considering the proximity of my gun to your head, it's likely you'll die before they even fire. You're a smart woman. You should have figured that out already. So if you don't want to die, you're gonna come with me."

Suddenly, the alarm cuts out and there's a silence over the intercom. Everyone looks up at it except me.

Out of nowhere a voice says, "Hello Jeanine."

Jeanine gasps, recognizing the voice instantly, as do I. I smile. "Lola," I whisper to myself.

The guards immediately freeze, then all together they lower their weapons.

"Lola, you traitor!" Jeanine yells.

"I have full control of your army, Jeanine. So it's in your best interest to do as we say. You will be escorted outside of the building, and taken to your very own cell in Candor. In the meantime, I'll be here destroying your simulation technology."

Jeanine gasps and tries to twist herself out of my grasp. "It's my life's work!"

I hear Tris say, "Then maybe you should have spent your life doing something else."

I didn't see her walk in, nor did I see Kade, Zeke or Uriah. But that doesn't make me any less glad that they're here.

"It's over Jeanine," Kade says as he walks over to us, ready to arrest her. I release her neck, but I keep my gun aimed at her.

"It would have been if you had factored in one little detail," she smirks. "Not _all_ of the soldiers are under simulation."

Suddenly, three soldiers barge through the doors, and even though they are outnumbered, they fire at us. Having my gun ready, I'm the first to fire back, and then Zeke. The third guard falls to the ground at Uriah's hand, but not before sending a bullet directly at me.

It happens too fast, and I'm unable to move out of the way. I expect it to hit me, but in a flash I find myself being thrown to the ground, Kade having shoved me out of the way.

"Maddox!" Lola screams over the intercom, and then there's silence.

Kade falls to the ground and blood gushes from his side. I run to him as Zeke and Uriah stop Jeanine from escaping.

"Why would you do that?!" I yell at Kade as I throw myself beside him, pressing my hand into his side to stop the bleeding. "Why would you do that?" I ask him again.

He coughs, and there's a hint of blood coming from his mouth. He shakes his head and says, "I wasn't about to make the same mistake twice, Tobias."

Tris rushes beside us, and she takes Kade's hand in hers. "It's going to be ok," she says to him. "We're gonna get you out of here." Although, I don't know where we would be able to take him. There's no doctor at Dauntless.

"Yes, it will," Kade answers. "Take care of each other."

He smiles at Tris, and then at me. His eyes are fixed on mine, and as I stare at him I swear I remember him. Not as I know him now, but younger, much younger. I remember being small enough to sit on his lap as he read to me. I remember running through his rusty front door to greet him, then playing hide and seek with him and his uncle. I remember promising my mother to keep my new friend a secret from Marcus. I remember wishing _he_ was my father instead of Marcus, and I remember pretending he was.

I saw him at my mother's funeral, at the burial site, half of him covered by a tree, the other half staring at me. I remember lying in bed at night waiting for him to come steal me away, and crying myself to sleep wondering where he was and why he never came for me.

I remember all the pain I buried when he disappeared from my life and how even as a child I vowed to forget him.

"Maddox," I say, my voice breaking. The last time I called him by his name I was five years old.

With our hands clasped he says to me, "There's so much I wanted to tell you… about your mother, what she was like."

"And you will," I assure him, though I'm not sure of it myself. The bleeding doesn't seem to be stopping.

Kade smiles at me. "I'll tell her hello for you."

"Kade!" Lola barges into the room and in less than a second she throws herself on the ground beside him and steals his hand from me. "You are not dying, you stupid son of a bitch."

"Lola-" he says weakly, lifting his free hand to her face.

"I said, you're not dying!"

"I'm so sorry. For everything," he whispers to her. "I-"

"Shut up. You can tell me later," and leaning down she kisses him tenderly. "You're not dying here. Not today and not like this," she says against his lips.

Shauna and Caleb come running behind. They both gasp at the sight of Kade bleeding on the floor.

"I need to get him out of here," Lola says to them.

"Go," Caleb says. "I'll stay and destroy the computers."

"I'll stay with you," Shauna says to Caleb. "In case you need help getting out. Once the Dauntless are free from the simulation there's no telling what they'll do."

Caleb nods and he and Shauna run back to the simulation room. At the same time, Tris, Lola and I slowly bring a weakened Kade to his feet. And with Uriah and Zeke holding Jeanine at gunpoint, we all leave Erudite with no one to challenge us.

* * *

 **A/N: It's almost over guys! Only one chapter left before the Epilogue!**


	60. Unbreakable Passion Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**

 **TOBIAS**

A factionless woman does her best to try and clean the blood stains from the floor. Thick droplets relentlessly fell from Kade's wound, and left a blood trail all the way from Erudite to wherever it is Lola has brought us. If someone were trying to find us, it wouldn't be difficult at all.

Both Tris and I look around curiously. We both wait for Lola and Kade on the only bench in the waiting area. If I had ever been told that such a place existed, I wouldn't have believed it. It's very small, not much personnel, but neat and equipped with just enough to be considered functional.

"A factionless infirmary," Tris whispers. "How long do you think _this_ has been here?"

I shrug, but then from behind us, startling us both, Lola answers, "A year." She takes a seat beside me and pushes her dark, thick curls behind her ear. "I used to smuggle in small supplies, vaccines and first aid kits from Erudite every now and again. But things got a little more advanced when Dr. Samuels came on board. She was kicked out of Erudite a little over a year ago when she refused to carry out some of Jeanine's more inhumane experiments. I was surprised Jeanine didn't have her killed," she explains. "Anyway… we're lucky to have her."

"Especially on a day like today," Tris adds. "Is Kade gonna be ok?"

"I hope so. Dr. Samuels says he got here just in time." Lola frowns a little, and as strong as I know her to be, I can see how terrified she is.

It never occurred to me just how much the factionless had to do without. Abnegation always thought to provide food and clothing, and I always thought we did our part to help them. But now I see that might not have been enough.

"Can I ask you something?" I say to Lola.

"Sure," she answers, and she turns to face me.

"Kade told me your initial intention was to wage war against the factions."

Lola sits up and rests her back on the bench. She nods and says, "Yes. It was."

"And what about _now_?"

Although it might not be the best time to bring this up, I ask because now that our common enemy has been captured, the factionless no longer have any reason to ally with the Dauntless and Abnegation. Kade had told me this is the moment when loyalties would really begin to show. Tori had assured me the loyal Dauntless would continue to stand behind me, and I know Abnegation will do the same. But what of the factionless?

"Tobias," Lola begins, "The truth is, the only reason Maddox and I were considering such a thing was because those in power refused to listen to our qualms. Marcus wouldn't hear it and Jeanine certainly wouldn't even entertain the thought."

"Well, _I'm_ listening," I assure her.

"I was almost certain you would," she says with a smile. "And if you would do so, I'm absolutely sure another war can be averted."

"Kade had asked me once if I felt more free now that I wasn't forced to be incessantly selfless," Tris chips in. "I didn't answer him; still, he told me it was because all the other parts of me, including the Dauntless part of me, were free to exist. He wasn't wrong and I think he knew that. _I_ knew it too, but how can we convince everybody in this city that we shouldn't be ruled by factional norms? Wouldn't that on its own start a war?"

"Not if it came from the leaders," Lola answers. "Besides, it's not like we're asking everyone to give up the factions. I just believe people should be given a choice, a fair chance. Those who don't seamlessly fit into a faction shouldn't be shunned or mistreated because of their differences. Children born to factionless parents are innocent, and don't deserve to be robbed of their education, their health, a roof over their heads and their livelihood. Maddox has done his best for them, but I'm afraid it's barely been enough."

"You're right," I answer strongly. "They're citizens of this city just like everybody else and they deserve better."

"Especially considering how many of us came to be factionless in the first place," Lola says with a sigh.

I remember when my father threatened to have the Prior's kicked out of Abnegation if I didn't marry Tris. The thought of that alone was enough to make me go through with it. No one deserves to live like that.

"Well, hopefully with a new governing body we can change all of that… together." I stretch out my hand to Lola, and slowly, but with a faint smile on her face she takes it.

"I'm looking forward to it, Councillor."

So am I. Maybe the mark I will leave on this city is making it a better place for everyone who calls it home.

"I'm sorry to interrupt," A woman's voice says from behind us and we all turn around to look at her. She's a young woman with short, curly hair and dark skin. She wears a long white coat, like the ones used in Erudite. She must be Dr. Samuels. "Mr. Kade is awake. You can see him now if you'd like. Just come with me."

Lola smiles and says to us, "You go. I believe I have a much longer conversation to have with him."

Tris smiles knowingly as she stands from the bench. "Ok," she nods. I stand and take her hand and we follow Dr. Samuels until we're at the room. I try to lead Tris inside, but she stops at the door. "I think you two need to talk," she whispers to me.

I'd argue with her, but I know she's right. That fact that I'm here instead of with the others delivering Jeanine to Candor speaks for itself. I _want_ to talk to him.

"Ok," I whisper back. "I'll come get you in a while."

"I'll wait with Lola," she answers.

Quietly, I walk into the small room. The bed looks comfortable enough, and there's a small bedside table and chair on the left-hand side of it with a lamp and a piece of paper. Kade is lying down, shirtless and with a large part of his lower abdomen covered with some sort of medical tape and bandage. There's a bag hanging from a stand on the bed, and it's connected to his arm. He opens his eyes when he hears me approaching, and with a rude smile on his face he says, "I'm alive."

I can't stop myself from grinning. "That you are," and I'm glad for it. I pull the chair closer to his bed and take a seat. "We both are… Thanks to you."

"Well, I can't take _all_ the credit for that," Kade mumbles. "You did really well today, Tobias. And Tris was exceptional."

"She always is," I say softly.

Kade smiles and nods. "I guess that Dauntless training really came in handy."

"Far more than I would have liked it to," I say with a tense chuckle.

"I know what you mean." He glances at the door and asks, "Where _is_ Tris?"

"She's uh- waiting outside with Lola."

He nods. "Well tell her don't be a stranger. I'm being forced to lie down, so I don't know when I'll be able to leave this room. Apparently I lost a lot of blood and we don't have any to spare," he chuckles. "I'll have to keep running on what little I have left. And this," he tugs on the bag.

"She'll be in in a while," I say. "She wanted to give us a chance to talk."

"Oh."

"Yeah," I say softly. "Although, I think it's me who would be doing most of the talking. I uh… I haven't been entirely honest with you, or even myself, though maybe not on purpose."

"What do you mean?" he asks curiously.

"You know… at first I thought to pretend I was angry because you hid things from me. Eventually I had to accept that it wasn't just about that. I'm not mad that you loved my mother or still love her. Thirteen years wouldn't be enough for me either if I ever lost Tris." Eternity wouldn't be enough. "More than anger what I felt was hurt. Aside from my mother, you were one of the first people I came to regard as… important, and when I saw you bleeding on the floor at Erudite, so close to death, it all came back to me."

It came back like a flood, memories that I never even knew I had locked up somewhere. I think somehow I managed to suppress them because they were too painful for me to bear.

"The only time my mother laughed was when she was with you. The only time _I_ laughed was when I was with you. I had tried to convince myself that everything you were doing for me and Tris was because of the connection you had with my mother, but then I remembered the way you cared for me when I was a boy, and I know that's not true. That's why after the funeral I waited by the window in my bedroom, absolutely certain you would come for me. I waited for weeks before I realized you wouldn't. And somehow I buried it- the feeling of being abandoned by the two most important people in my life."

"Tobias-"

"But I do understand," I cut him off. I look up at him and say, "You made a promise to my mother, and you wished to save me from a lifetime of poverty and uncertain meals."

"But I would have chosen that life for you in a heartbeat if I had known Marcus was hurting you too," he says emphatically.

"But you _didn't_ know," I say. "And look where we are now. I'm the leader of this city," I chuckle a little. "I'm in a position to make sure no one ever has to live like you've had to, and I think that's exactly what my mother would have wanted for me."

Kade smiles and says, "Your mother was an exceptional woman, and I will always cherish her memory. I know without a doubt she'd be so proud of you."

"Thank you," I say softly to him. The words mean more than he could ever imagine.

"But I _do_ owe you an apology," Kade says to me. "I shouldn't have hid it from you. Honestly, after Evelyn it's been hard for me to let people in. I share just enough but not too much, and it's unfair to the people who really do care about me," he frowns. "Tris was right- I've failed to recognize what's right in front of me, and I can't continue to do so." Quietly Kade confesses, "There's nothing I wouldn't do for you, Tobias. And I just want you to know that."

"I've realized that," I say with a faint smile, looking at his taped abdomen. He didn't think twice before taking a bullet for me. "Although, I think there's someone else who needs to hear that more than I do."

He smiles and stares at his toes. "Lola."

I nod. "You're gonna be stuck with her for a while… alone," I grin. After this morning, I hardly think he'll mind. "Tris and I should already be at Candor making sure everything is ready for the trial tomorrow."

"My deepest regret is that I won't be at Jeanine's trial to hear what _her_ deepest regret is," he laughs.

"I'll definitely let you know," I say with a smile. I stand from my chair, not wanting to say goodbye, but knowing it's time. "I'll send Tris in before we go. I'll see you later, Maddox."

"Yes… you will," he smiles.

* * *

The interrogation hall at Candor is packed, and unlike the last time we were here, it's not just black and white filling the seats. Word got to Johanna that Jeanine was captured, and she got to Candor in a matter of hours with a few others from Amity. They sit together, forming a single cluster of orange and red. Most of the loyal Dauntless, Abnegation and even the factionless are here as well.

"It's a full house," Zeke says from beside me, as if reading my mind. He stands with me and Tris at the entrance of the room, his eyes darting from left to right.

"Yeah, it is. And I'm pretty sure I already know what they all want."

Tris takes my hand and laces her fingers with mine. "You still have doubts?"

I shake my head. "No. I don't."

The people are calling for Jeanine's head, each for their own reason, and at first I thought we needn't be so radical. But having seen all I have, there's no way Jeanine deserves anything less than a death sentence. My first real act as leader of this city will certainly not be to deny my people the justice they deserve.

"Good," Tris says softly. She leans herself into my side, and I wrap my arm around her.

Zeke grins at us. "It's strange seeing you two in grey," he says as he eyes us up and down.

It felt strange putting it on; I got so used to Dauntless clothing, my usual Abnegation getup feels heavier than usual. But I figured it was fitting given the circumstances, and besides, "We don't have a reason to hide anymore."

"I guess not. It's a shame though. Black suits you," he smiles. "Anyway, I should get back to Shauna."

"Wait," I say. And I rest my free arm on his shoulder. Sincerely I say, "I really _am_ sorry I punched you out." It's bothered me since the moment it happened. Zeke has been my first real friend apart from Tris, and I'd hate for anything to drive a wedge between us.

"Are you?" To my surprise, Zeke laughs. "Please, don't ever mention it again. It's embarrassing, and if you do, I'll deny it."

I chuckle contentedly. "Ok. It never happened."

"And I'm sorry about yesterday," Tris adds. "I didn't mean to be harsh." She frowns a little.

Zeke only smiles at us. "It's ok, Tris. No hard feelings. You both did what you had to do, and from the looks of things, it was the right thing." Zeke pats me on the shoulder before turning around and walking away. He joins Shauna and Uriah in the crowd of spectators.

"What was _that_ about?" I turn and ask Tris.

"I'll explain later," she says. "I sort of lost it when I realized you were gone, I might have taken it out on him."

I nod. "I'm sure he doesn't hold it against you."

Pressing into my side again, Tris stares off into the crowd. "Since we're on that subject, I should probably talk to my brother."

Caleb stands alone in a corner, at the bottom of one of the bleachers. I almost feel sorry for him; he doesn't really fit in anywhere in all this. The factionless and Dauntless loathe him, the Abnegation strongly dislike him although they won't say so, and in the eyes of the Erudite he's a traitor- not that he would dare lay claim to his chosen faction. I'm sure the Candor or Amity would accept him if he could manage to tolerate either of them.

"What he did _was_ pretty smart," I defend him though it pains me. Caleb used Jeanine's mind control simulation to lead all the traitor Dauntless into holding cells at Candor before shutting it down. I can't imagine how we would have rounded them up if he hadn't done so. I'm glad, since at least we have the chance to try each and every one of them individually, and it'll be up to me to determine what becomes of them. I suppose truth serum will help us wean out those who are sincerely contrite and those who aren't.

"Yeah well… he's still an idiot."

"An idiot who's trying… at least."

"At least," Tris answers gently.

Softly, I press a kiss to her forehead, just between her eyes. "I should go now," I whisper against her skin. The trial's about to begin.

She pouts playfully. "Ok. I'll be with Christina and Susan."

"I'll come get you as soon as it's over," I say. She nods and turns to walk away, and I don't let go of her hand until the last possible moment. She smiles back at me before walking ahead and my eyes don't leave her until she sits beside Christina.

I agree with Zeke- black does suit Tris, but there's something about seeing her in grey that makes me feel whole and warm inside. I guess because it reminds me of the innocence of when we began, how things used to be before the war. I imagine they'll be a little bit different now that we're not afraid to let our Dauntless show. You won't hear me complaining, especially in the bedroom.

"Tobias!" Kang interrupts my thoughts. "We're ready."

"Bring her in," I say with a nod, and I make my way along with Jack to the centre of the room. I don't forget the last time I was here, _I_ was the one on trial.

"Please forgive me, Councillor," Jack says as we walk. "I was unaware you and your wife had been captured," although I doubt it would have changed anything on his part. He wanted Jeanine alive, I suppose if even just to hear of her repugnant doings from her own mouth.

I only answer him with a nod.

Restrained and held at gunpoint, Jeanine Matthews in all her glory is escorted to the centre of the room by four Dauntless soldiers. The room is suddenly filled with jeering and protests. But Jeanine pays no mind to them; she walks with her back straight and her head held high. Her hair is still pulled in a bun and her blue clothing remains impeccable, as if she hadn't spent the night in a jail cell. I'm sure she wouldn't have it any other way.

Jeanine steps up on the small podium and refuses to sit. "You may begin," she says insolently.

"Very well then," Jack Kang says, and the crowd turns silent. "Jeanine Matthews, you have been charged with high treason, conspiracy, acts against humanity, slander, and murder of the highest count," and yet it doesn't feel like she's been charged with enough. "How do you plead?"

"There's no need for this ridiculous trial," Jeanine says pompously. "I don't deny any of the charges that have been raised against me, although I will admit I don't view them in the same light as you all do, obviously. I did what I believed and still believe was best for our city's future. My only mistake was expecting that it would have been well received by the lesser intelligent."

There's a loud roaring in the crowd, a mix of boos and profane jeers. I hold my hands behind my back and resist the urge to scowl at her. Jack Kang only raises his arm in the air, and the crowd is immediately silenced. That appears to be a talent of his.

"Typically, statements made by the accused hold absolutely no weight if not made under truth serum. However, as you do plead guilty to all charges, then indeed there _is_ no need for a trial, only judgement." Kang then looks at me, and gestures for me to join them on the podium.

Resolved, I take my place beside him and I turn to face the people.

"And there is no judgement lesser than the death penalty that would be fitting for such crimes," I loudly declare.

There is an instant cheering from the crowd, and it's so loud that I fear if I hadn't given her the death penalty, they would have called for _my_ head. Even the Abnegation, who I was worried wouldn't understand the need for such a punishment, stand to their feet and applaud.

"Today we enter a new era," I say to them all. "One where no one faction deems itself more important than another, and today we put away everyone who is of that belief. We are one people, and we should behave as such. My aim is to even include those who don't have a faction to call home. Thanks to them, this war has ended, and they should not be allowed to continue living in suffering."

To my surprise, I'm not met with a single rebuttal, and I watch with admiration as all the factions represented stand united with applause. I only wish Kade or Lola were here to see it.

"The execution will be carried out before the end of the day, and by my hand," I inform them.

"I'm sure you would love that," Jeanine scowls at me as she's led away. "You will fail, Tobias!" she yells. "You're no better a leader than your father was!" And to my delight, one of the Dauntless soldiers hits her in the face and commands her to shut up.

Once upon a time her words would have cut me deeply. Today they fall on deaf ears.

"Pay no attention to her," I hear a gentle voice say. "I've only been here a few hours and so far all I've heard are great things about the Abnegation-Dauntless-factionless leader who saved the city." Johanna is a short and chubby woman. Despite the large scar on the right side of her face, she has a friendly appearance. "And Councillor, I must apologize for not having come sooner. I was unaware of all that was happening. Jack's message only informed that you were alive and Jeanine was behind the monstrous attacks. It's why I wanted to speak to you in person. If I had known the details, I assure you I would have-"

With an extended arm, I stop her. "No apology necessary. These have been… confusing times, to say the least."

"Well I assure you, you have Amity's full support."

"Thank you," I smile. I'm glad for it; I'll certainly need it if we are to now include the factionless in the city's food rationing. I will definitely also need Erudite's cooperation in regard to providing them with proper healthcare and education. But then there's also the matter of who will be in charge of Erudite for the time being. I suppose _I_ will have to be.

Ironically, I suddenly find myself surrounded by the remaining leaders; Tori and Jack.

"That ended rather quickly," Tori says drearily from beside me.

"Well I, for one, am glad she didn't waste our time," Johanna replies. "The time can be much better spent picking up the pieces of the city she almost destroyed."

Tori shrugs. I suppose she wanted more of a spectacle. "So what's going to become of the rest of Erudite?" she asks.

"I'll grant clemency for the everyday Erudite, regular people who only had the misfortune of being part of the faction. As for everyone else known to have a connection to Jeanine, they'll be tried. Thanks to Lola we have a relatively long list."

Tori nods slowly. In a low voice she says, "I guess that's fair. They couldn't have _all_ been involved."

"You don't sound too sure of that," Jack raises an eyebrow at her.

She sighs. "Listen, in a matter of hours Jeanine is gonna be dead. That's pretty much all I need. The rest is up to Tobias now."

"No," I answer her. "I believe it's up to _us_. All of us."

"What do you mean?" Johanna asks.

"I think we should _all_ have a say in decisions that affect everyone… even the factionless."

"Surely, you must-"

"I've given it enough thought," I interrupt Kang. I didn't need to think about it at all. "Maddox Kade represents them. Lola Cartwright will take his place until he's well enough to resume his responsibilities. They were as much a part of bringing Jeanine to justice as the Dauntless. We're indebted to them."

"I hear he saved your life," Johanna adds.

"More than once, ma'am."

"Well then he is a friend," she nods. She jabs Kang softly in the side until he agrees. I take it the two have some strange sort of friendship.

"Ok," he says. "If the only living councillor says it must be so, then it must be so."

I smile. Jack Kang won't easily let go of the old ways. Lola has so often described him as stubborn and painfully traditional. But I think he'll soon come to appreciate the changes.

"One of the first changes I'd like to carry out would be to give Candor a trial period of sole judiciary power," I say levelly and, of course, it immediately catches Jack's attention. "There are many trials to be had over the next few weeks, and getting the city back in order will take much of my time. I'm afraid I won't be able to attend to both things. I will, of course, have to sign off on the harsher punishments, but I do believe a trial done at Candor would be inherently fair. If it runs smoothly enough, we'll look into making it permanent."

"It would be an honour, Councillor," Jack stutters with his eyes wide open. "I assure you it is a responsibility the people of Candor will _not_ take lightly."

"I'm sure you won't. So much so that I trust you to oversee the remaining trials for the day, including that of the Abnegation traitor. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to my wife."

"Of course, Sir."

With a polite smile, I excuse myself, and behind me I hear as Jack calls for the next trial to begin. As the crowd cheers, I make my way toward Tris and I shamelessly steal her from her friends. Taking her hand, I lift her from her seat, and I'm met with a smile from both Susan and Christina. Tris whispers something to them before walking out with me, leaving Candor behind us- hopefully for the rest of the day.

"Emily's trial is this afternoon," I say when the roaring of the crowd is long behind us.

"I'm not sure I want to be there," Tris answers, "as right as it is."

"Me either."

"You don't still feel responsible for her, do you?"

"No," I shake my head. "Emily made her own decisions. But I did learn something from that horrible experience."

"What?"

"I have an incredible wife," I say. I stop walking and I wrap my arms around Tris. "One who has stood by me through thick and thin, in my moments of foolishness, and even in war. I had the support of Abnegation, Dauntless and even the factionless, but the truth is, I couldn't have done any of this without you, Tris. You've kept me level-headed, oriented when I was distracted, and you've encouraged me when everything inside me told me I couldn't." I gently rub my thumb against her cheek. "You are irreplaceable to me, and you will always be the greatest gift I've ever been given. I love you."

With her eyes wet, she pushes herself up on her toes and presses a soft but long kiss to my lips. "I love you too, Tobias. I always will."

When our lips break away, I keep my arm wrapped around her waist and slowly we continue to walk on the sidewalk, in no particular direction. Tris leans into my side, resting most of her weight on me. I only want her closer.

"I can't believe it's really over," she says quietly.

"But it is." I let out a thankful breath.

"Maybe we can take that honeymoon now," Tris suggests playfully.

I chuckle. "Maybe we can."

"Where do you suggest we go?"

"How's Amity sound?" I ask. "I'm sure Johanna wouldn't mind having us up there for a short while. Would be a great place to get away."

"I'd love that," Tris smiles.

"And I love _you_."

And just as we entered the war, we leave it- side by side and in each other's arms. Only we've come out stronger, better, with a greater understanding of our love for each other. By my side is where Tris will always belong, and I by hers. And whatever the future may hold for this city and for us, we'll be able to face it, as long as we face it together.

* * *

 **A/N: And that is the final chapter of this story you guys! I can't wait to hear what you guys think about it! But don't worry, the Epilogue is coming next week to wrap everything up and that will bring it to it's official end :) You won't want to miss it!**


	61. Epilogue

**EPILOGUE**

 **FOUR AND A HALF YEARS LATER**

 **TOBIAS**

"I can't believe the stiffs are getting married... again," Lynn huffs with a playful smirk. She roughly runs both her hands over her pants trying to brush off the glitter Uriah had sprinkled over her. It was his way of getting back at her for refusing to wear a dress. "And only five years after the first one. Don't people usually do this after like twenty-five or fifty years?"

"People stay married for that long?" Zeke chuckles loudly, and Shauna jabs him hard in the side while smiling at the ring on her finger. He proposed to her only a few weeks ago and he did it in a way only Zeke would think to- casually, on a random train ride home from Amity.

"I know _I_ could," Uriah whispers, holding Susan tight in his arms. She blushes and turns her face to give him a kiss on the cheek. Unlike his brother, Uriah didn't waste any time making things official with the woman he loves. After the legalities of transfers were worked out, Susan was the first to apply for transfer to Dauntless and they were married shortly after. Although, as Dauntless as she is, I do believe her Abnegation roots had some part to play in it. I couldn't imagine her being comfortable with every couple's favorite pastime if they weren't married.

I smile at my friends, all gathered with me underneath my small tent. They all look so beautiful and happy today. I'm really glad they're all here, because although half the city is here to watch as Tris and I renew our vows, our friends are truly the ones we want to share this moment with. They're the ones who were with us from the beginning, and although they might not know the detailed intricacies of our marriage, they know we've been through much, they know we still go through much, and they continuously shower us with love and support.

Tris and I knew staying in Abnegation meant we would see less of our friends, but it's a decision we made together and for the greater good. If I truly want to make this city a better home for all, then what better place is there for me than leader of Abnegation and of the city.

But I've missed them all, even Lynn. That's why, as extravagant as I find a traditional Dauntless wedding to be, I can appreciate how it allows us to include our friends. Zeke is my best man, and Tris chose Susan to be her maid of honour. Christina and Shauna are bridesmaids, and Will and Uriah are the groomsmen. And they all wear matching clothing; Christina designed the most beautiful gowns for the girls, combining two shades of blue and a light shade of silver. The guys wear black and white tuxes, though mine is mostly white. Together, we make up the wedding party.

There are no such things in an Abnegation wedding.

"Well, our first wedding wasn't under… typical circumstances," I say to them as Shauna moves to fix my bowtie. "So we're going to do it over. And we're going to do it right this time."

"Aaawwww," Shauna squeals, smiling up at me. Her hair is longer now, and she did away with the purple bangs. "You know, I knew you were one of the good ones. I even told Tris so."

"He most certainly is." Kade pats me on the shoulder, surprising me, and then he whispers in my ear, "Just don't take two months to consummate this time."

"What?!" Lola blurts out with a laugh, having heard what he said after creeping up on us. Her full, dark hair flows in it's usual perfect curls, and her smile is the only thing that shines brighter than her long and elegant dress. She looks beautiful.

Embarrassed, I chuckle. "It's a long story. I'm surprised you don't know it already," and I give Kade a look. He shrugs innocently and pulls his wife a little closer to him. I realize they're matching as well, only instead of blue, they're wearing a nice cream colour.

Lola spots me a wide smile. "I might know a thing or two, but… I didn't know _that_. Nor did I want to."

"Uncle Bias!" Noah jumps wildly in his mother's arms, demanding she put him down in a way only a toddler could. Being the usual thief of attention that he is, he's probably distraught all of thirty seconds have passed and I haven't acknowledged him as yet.

"Ok. Ok," Lola grumbles. And in less than a second Noah's at my feet, lifting both his arms in the air. I can't help but pick him up; not that he was giving me a choice.

"Hey, little guy," I smile. Although there's nothing little about him anymore. "You're getting heavier," I say to the three year old and he giggles. With his dark eyes and smooth brown hair, he's the spitting image of his father.

"Sometimes I think he likes you more than he likes _me_ ," Kade laughs.

"Stop it," Lola chides playfully. "Let him be. You'll have him all to yourself for the next two weeks when Tris and Tobias go on whatever romantic getaway they venture on this time."

Kade grins wickedly at this. I don't doubt he loves his son more than anything else in the world.

He and Lola have been exceedingly happy together, especially after Noah was born. I imagine they're about to become even happier now that Lola's expecting again. She still hasn't told Kade, but she told Tris and Tris told me.

It would be a lie to deny that I want to feel that same joy with Tris- a little her or a little me running around our Abnegation house. But if it doesn't happen, having her in my life is enough.

"My arm's already tired," I grumble softly at Lola. "How do you even carry him around all day?" Noah's fully capable of sprinting, let alone walking, but everyone prefers to hold him. It's only right; he's our own little treasure.

"It's all that food he's eating," Kade says with a smile. "The kid's a bottomless pit."

Once upon a time the thought of a factionless child having too much to eat was unthinkable, but not anymore. They're included in the city's workforce, therefore they earn an equal portion of the rations. They have their own schools and even a hospital now, run by Erudite volunteers until their own people have completed the proper training. And when he's sixteen, Noah will have the right to take the aptitude test and choose a faction if he so pleases. If he happens to be Divergent like his father, no harm will ever come to him because of it.

"That he is. I wouldn't be surprised if he puts down half your catering today," Lola adds.

"Four!" I suddenly hear Christina yell.

"Ugh," Lynn scoffs from her corner. "I was wondering when she'd show up."

The others snicker; they all know first-hand how passionate Christina is about this wedding. It makes her a bit overbearing at times, but we all know she means well. Upon her request, Tris had granted her the pleasure of being the wedding planner because she wouldn't dare not to.

Christina comes running toward the small tent in shoes that look dreadfully uncomfortable. Most of her hair is in her face as she runs, and she holds the bulk of her dress in her hands so as not to trip over it. "Noah is adorable," she says as she tears him from my arms. "That is an indisputable fact. But _you_ are wearing full white and the bottom of Noah's shoe is two millimetres away from you."

"Oh," I frown, and so does Noah.

"Well if it makes you boys feel any better, we're about to start," Christina says chirpily, bouncing Noah in her arms. "You remember your part, Baby?"

"Yes, 'stina," he smiles.

My mood suddenly picks up at the thought of him walking down the aisle with a pillow twice his size.

"He's been practicing in the house all week!" Lola laughs loudly, clutching at her stomach. "I thought I was going crazy when I couldn't find a single pillow anywhere!"

Kade joins in the laughter and adds, "He wanted to practice with all of them. You know… make sure he gets it right." Stealing back his son from Christina, he smiles and says, "That's my boy. I'll have you know he takes this job very seriously, Tobias."

"And I appreciate his dedication," I answer seriously.

Kade winks at me and I try my best to hold back a laugh when I see the look of sheer pride on Noah's face. Although he calls me uncle, Noah is so many things to me all at once- a nephew, a little brother, and he's made me better understand how a person can come to love a child who isn't their own as if they were. If there was ever a part of me that hesitated to believe how much Maddox cared for me, it died when Noah was born. We're all like one big extended family now- the Kades and the Eatons. I wish my mother could see it.

"Well it's time to take your places everyone," Christina says, clasping her hands together. "I hope we are _all_ dedicated to making Tris and Tobias' day extra special." She grins, but nobody grins back. "Ugh. Come on. Where is Will?!"

* * *

It takes Christina about twenty more minutes to get everyone into position so we can start, and when the open air is suddenly filled with beautiful music like I've never heard, she gives me only a few seconds to admire it, nudging me and Zeke down the aisle.

Tori nods respectfully at me from the crowd; I don't miss the small smile on her face.

I walk past a few other special guests who are confused I'm sure, although they won't outrightly say so; as far as they knew, Tris and I were already married. I preferred not to get into details with them when I extended the invitation, so I just explained that after the war was over, Tris and I had wanted to renew our vows. Thankfully, not too many people thought it strange. We were all forced to re-examine our lives after the war, put things into perspective, change our priorities, change _ourselves_.

As I continue to make my way down the aisle I'm taken aback by everything- the crowd, the heavenly sound of live music, the impressive decorations, the massive cake that Uriah can't seem to keep his eyes off of. The crowd I did expect; as leader of the city I couldn't really have anticipated a small wedding, but everything else catches me by surprise. Even after all the planning I couldn't have envisioned everything would have been so extravagant, so beautiful. And that's because we had to beg Christina to bring things down a notch.

Zeke catches me staring at the bridesmaids and groomsmen as they prance delicately behind us.

"Is it really that different?" he whispers to me. We both take our places at the front; he stands to my left.

"You have no idea," I answer with wide open eyes as two little girls from Amity walk down the aisle, gracefully throwing tiny rose petals at their feet.

"Is this better?"

"Much better," I admit. "Although, I might hear about it at the next council meeting. Selfishness!" I jest quietly.

Zeke snickers beside me. "Nobody will say a thing. In fact, your wedding might be the new standard for _all_ Abnegation weddings." He chuckles.

"Don't push it," I answer with a smile. Although, maybe in a few more years, that might actually come to pass. Things are much different now, and though my people might not think to invest in a ceremony of this magnitude, they no longer look down on those who would choose to do so. After new laws were passed to facilitate inclusion, the Abnegation traded their self righteous robes for a mantle of acceptance. It made me proud to be their leader.

Noah grins at me from where he stands, and then proudly he makes his way to the front, pillow in hand. The Abnegation rings lie in the middle of the pillow, seemingly plain amongst everything else around it. But as Dauntless as this wedding was intended to be, using our old rings was the one thing both Tris and I agreed would have to stay. The rings are our own, and they are an irreplaceable part of our odd and complicated history. Even today it feels strange to not have it on. My finger feels light.

Suddenly the music changes, the tempo taking a sudden drop, and at the very end of the aisle stands the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life- an angel for sure.

My heart stops.

"Wow," Zeke whispers beside me.

I can't find the strength to whisper anything at all.

The beautiful angel coming down the aisle is Tris, escorted by her brother. Her dress is spectacular- long and wide, a mixture of lace and silk, full white with what appears to be diamonds pressed into it. Her beautiful blonde hair is curled but most of it is pinned up at the back, unlike any other bun I've ever seen.

To my sweet surprise, on the right side of her hair is an Abnegation wedding pin, the only sort of adornment Abnegation women would use on their wedding day. It reminds me of the first time I married her; she was beautiful then, too.

The crowd gazes in awe at my wife, and rightfully so. I stand a little straighter, somehow being filled with both humility and pride that such a beautiful woman would be willing to call herself mine.

Caleb and Tris whisper back and forth as they make their way to the front, and when he presses a kiss to her cheek, a single tear streams down from Caleb's eyes. It's a beautiful moment between them, one that didn't come without difficulty, but one I'm sure they'll both cherish.

As Caleb sets Tris' hand in mine, I forget I'm to lead her to the podium at the front. I stand there and all I can do is stare at her. I even forget to breathe.

"Eh-hem," Johanna Reyes clears her throat, pulling me back into reality.

Embarrassed, I smile at Tris. "You look… so beautiful, Love." It pains my heart that there are no words to accurately describe just how beautiful she is. There's an angelic glow to her. Her lips are painted red, and her eyelids shimmer.

"So do you," Tris whispers back, and she takes a step toward me. "Now let's go get married… again," she smiles.

I don't hesitate to agree, and with Tris' arm locked in mine, we take a few steps together until we're standing in front of Johanna. Who better to wed us than the leader of the faction of love?

Johanna smiles at us both. She wears her traditional factional colours in the style of a beautiful robe so long it scrapes the ground. "Before me stand two of the most incredible people I've ever known."

Uriah and Will don't hesitate to hoot and holler. Their excited uproar soon infects almost everyone present, and in a matter of seconds everyone is either clapping or whistling or cheering.

Tris and I can't help but grin at each other. Somehow we've managed to get our hands on the best friends any person could ever ask for.

When the crowd quiets a little, Johanna continues, "These two are no strangers to hardship and difficulties. They are no strangers to trials and tribulations, tests of life, being pushed to what feels like the edge of your sanity. And of the many things we have learned from them, the one thing I pray we never forget is that there is nothing on this Earth greater than love."

Zeke is the one to holler this time, raising a strong arm in the air.

Between him and his brother taking turns to interrupt, it takes Johanna almost fifteen minutes to get through what should have been a five minute pep talk about love and marriage. Tris listens intently. I spend most of the time staring at her.

"To the couple who managed to unite a broken city, there isn't much more I can say that you both don't already know," Johanna smiles. "So as we are all gathered here with you today, witnessing the renewal of your vows to one another, my only wish is that your love continues to grow and be an inspiration to us all. So if you would take the rings now, you may share with one another the vows you've prepared."

I hold Tris' hand the entire time, sliding my thumb against her knuckles. Although her glove is beautiful, I ache to feel her skin. I want nothing more than to touch and kiss her already.

I take a while to realize Noah's at my feet, smiling straight up at me and Tris.

"Thank you," Tris whispers to him as she takes the ring from the pillow. I do the same and Noah smiles proudly before returning to the side.

"Tobias, you will be first," Johanna gently instructs.

I smile and clear my throat. The air suddenly becomes so quiet I can hear myself breathe.

"Tris," I begin softly. "Words could never say how much you mean to me, how much I've grown to love you over the years. And to be honest, it took me by surprise. I never believed in my wildest dreams that I would find someone as remarkable as you are, much less be loved by you. I spent my entire life believing I was unworthy of such a thing, but you came into my life and you changed me." I smile at her. "You've made me braver, stronger, better in every way possible, and you've gifted me with a love so strong, I know without a doubt it can conquer anything." Sliding the ring onto her finger I say, "So my vow to you, my love, is to never let you forget how much I love you. I vow to cherish you until my dying breath. I vow to make you smile every chance I get, make you feel safe and protected and free. I vow to never let you live a day of your life unhappy. All that you've done for me, I want to do for you ten times over."

There's a respectful silence in the air, and you would think I would feel nervous about spilling my heart and soul out in front of more people than I can count, but I don't. I would confess my love for Tris in front of the entire universe if I had the chance.

With eyes glossed over, and now with my hand in hers, Tris says, "In one of the darkest times of our marriage someone told me that getting one another doesn't mean things will always be perfect. It just means that at the end of the day, no matter what the problem is, nothing will ever be more important than we are to each other."

"I said that!" Uriah blurts out, and there's an immediate surge of laughter that follows.

Tris giggles and it's heavenly. "Anyway, it's true," she says. "Once upon a time I was afraid to be the wife of the leader of Abnegation. But here I stand, wife of the leader of an entire city. And it's not because I'm that much braver than I was before. It's because you make it so easy to stand by your side, to love and support you. You have the biggest heart, Tobias, and that is how you so easily stole mine. And now that my heart belongs to you, no problem seems too big. It took me a while to learn it, but now that I have, I won't ever forget." With a small tear rolling down her cheek, Tris cries, "I vow to love you always, to cherish you, to trust you, to never hide things from you. I vow to leave every mistake behind us, but to take every lesson I've learned with me always." Slowly, Tris pushes the ring on my finger.

I am lost for words and my eyes are damp as I pull Tris closer to me. Whatever have I done to deserve this woman?

"Johanna," I say quietly.

"Yes, Councillor," she smiles.

"I will kiss my bride now."

I don't wait for her permission. I'm the leader of the city, I don't need it.

My hand finds itself on Tris' cheek, my fingers curling around her neck, and leaning down I claim her lips hungrily, like I aspire to devour her. I taste her tears between our kiss, and it only makes me kiss her harder, moulding her lips with mine, pulling her closer into me. And as I dive deeper and deeper into her, I become lost in the most passionate kiss we've ever shared. In that moment there's no one else there. It's only us. And there will always only be us.

* * *

 **TRIS**

"Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Mr. and Mrs. Tobias Eaton!"

I smile wide as the words play over and over again in my head. It might seem silly to anyone else; after all, I _have_ been Mrs. Tobias Eaton for five years already. But this time it's different. This time it's something we both want with all our hearts, a journey we choose to embark on together.

I knew I wanted this wedding to be different; when Tobias suggested we renew our vows for our fifth anniversary, I saw it fitting to hold a ceremony that catered to the half of us we had both neglected for so long.

I'll never forget the day I saw my first Dauntless wedding party; everyone had looked so beautiful and happy. Their joy was palpable. Ever since then, I had wanted that so badly, and today Tobias made it come true for me. I was decorated from head to toe and he looked as handsome as I've ever seen him. But more than beautiful, our Dauntless wedding was meaningful. Today, our vows were our own and they were spoken from our hearts; they weren't a series of hollow words that have been repeated for generations, like the vows we recited so long ago. Not to say the words don't mean much to the truly Abnegation, but Tobias and I have always been more than just that.

On the other hand, all the new and wonderful things that made a wedding a Dauntless one, were also extraordinarily tiring. The reception, a gathering that usually follows the wedding, was incredibly fun. Everyone was dancing and eating and drinking, but Tobias and I were already so tired from the planning that we only lasted an hour or so and we left before anyone else did. As much as we didn't want the day to end, we had to retire. But everyone was having so much fun, I'm sure they won't miss us. Between Zeke and Uriah, the party _will_ go on.

"Uh, What time is it?" I sigh, trying to rid myself of the extravagant dress. I had long admired Dauntless wedding dresses, but after wearing one for a full six and a half hours, I want nothing more than to feel the cool air on my naked skin.

Tobias comes to stand behind me and he removes my hands from the zipper. Teasingly, he pulls it down, and kissing my neck he says, "It's _four_ o' clock," and then he grins rudely.

Quite aware of what he's suggesting, I can't help but laugh out loud. I turn around and say, "That has got to be the lamest joke you've ever made, Tobias."

"No seriously, Love," he grins. "It's four o' clock." He points at his watch.

"How convenient," I say with a smirk before he spins me back around to remove my dress. But before he can take it off me, I say, "Gimme a minute?"

He frowns, but when I press a kiss to his lips he smiles. "Ok. But hurry." Playfully he grabs my waist.

Giggling, I quickly make my way to the bathroom. Inside it, I had left a wedding gift from Shauna. She bought me the most beautiful lingerie I have ever seen. It's made of black lace so thin, it flows beautifully and, of course, you could see right through it. _For old time's sake_ , she said. I grin into my palm at the thought of it – the day she picked out my first pair of hot cherry-red underwear. In fact, it wasn't the only thing she gave me that day.

I open the medicine cabinet, and right there on the bottom shelf are my birth control pills, untouched for this month. Tobias and I haven't slept together since I've stopped taking them; apparently, in Dauntless, it's bad luck to have sex in the week before your wedding.

The small container of pills stares at me as I change into the lingerie, almost as if I were insulting it. I had been faithful to them thus far, waiting until I thought Tobias and I were ready. Well, mostly me. I've never missed the way Tobias looks at Noah. I think he's been ready for some time now.

Smiling a little, but feeling entirely nervous, I no longer deny myself what it is that I want. Picking up the little round container, I know I want to say goodbye to it. When I'm done changing, I hold the dress in one hand, and the pills in the other, and teasingly I walk back into the bedroom.

I find my husband lying on his side, waiting patiently, already half out of his clothes, and I imagine he wants me to remove the other half.

Tobias' eyes open as wide as his mouth does, and I feel the heat in my face as blood rushes to my cheeks. It's been five years and he still looks at me as if I'm the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. I smile, knowing nothing will ever change that.

"You need to get on this bed before I go over there and get you," he says sultrily, his voice thick with want.

Not daring to deny him, I set the large dress on the chair and make my way over to him. I crawl on the bed, then I push him over on his back and I straddle him. I'm tempted to grind myself against his sweet hardness which sits perfectly between my legs, but I wait.

His hands work their way up my sides as he stares at my body. I lean down to kiss him, and then I say, "Tobias."

"Yes, Love?" he whispers.

Sitting up again, I place the pills on his bare chest. He slowly picks it up, but he looks at it for only a second. "Tris," he stutters. "What are you saying?"

I take a few long breaths before I say, "I'm saying…. I'm ready if _you_ are."

Tobias' wide open eyes stare at me with intensity, and at first it makes me nervous, the thought that maybe he's _not_ ready. But then he smiles so sweetly, and slowly pulls my lips toward his.

"That would make me the happiest man in the world, Tris." His voice breaks, and with his eyes wet, he takes the pills from his chest and gracefully drops them in the small bin by our bedside.

With a tear rolling down my cheek, I fervently claim his lips, and he rolls us over so that he's hovering over me. When he breaks away from my lips, he kisses the tear off my cheek.

Looking up at him, I see my entire future in his eyes. And oh how I long to see those eyes on another, on the tiny, sweet consequence of our love. I kiss him again, only deeper, and slowly he rids me of my lewd garment as I rid him of his, until there's nothing left between his skin and mine. And when I feel the sweet burning of his body stretching me to receive all of him, it takes me away. He groans in my ear as I pant on his shoulder. He twists me here and there, coming at me from all angles, loving me slowly one minute and then mercilessly the next, and we make love for what feels like an eternity.

When he moans out my name, emptying himself into me with one final thrust, I know the rest of our lives didn't begin this morning. It begins in this moment.

 **THE END**

* * *

 **A/N: And The Passion Series has come to a close! :') This is such a bittersweet post for me, because as much as I'm glad I could have given Tris and Tobias another beautiful ending, I'm sad that this story has come to an end! I want to thank every single person who has shown love and support throughout both parts of this story with your kind emails, reviews, likes and favorites. I'd name names but there are so many of you who have reviewed almost every single chapter, and I wouldn't want to leave anyone out. But know that I was encouraged by you all every single step of the way :) A very very very special Thank You to BAMBERLEE who, apart from being a wonderful friend, always does such great Beta work and always finds a way to contribute to every chapter. I couldn't have done this without you! 3**

 **So Thanks again, you guys. You've all been so incredible! And yes, I am already working on another Divergent fic :)**

 **Also, in honor of my very first Divergent FanFic "Divergent Love Stories", which will be celebrating it's 3 year anniversary November 29th, I will be posting a 3rd Epilogue :) For those of you who read that story, I hope you do enjoy it! Assuming you remember what the story was about lol And for those who haven't read it, feel free to do so!**

 **Until next time ;)**

 _Jojoboo90_


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